MaizeNblue81: Tapering Zoloft during severe acute Xanax WD

[maizeNblue81]

Thank you Ms cat for all you do it is very appreciated and I know there are underlying issues that don't help me but there has been severe damage to both my brain and CNS and I haven't felt anything quite like what I'm experiencing now not even before I went into the hospital or the first few months out. 

 

This is the the worst I have ever been and I'm scared because both the physical and emotional symptoms have changed and increased so dramatically even over the past few days both the physical severe pressure and pain in my head and the sever emotional symptoms just a deep dark depression and severe intrusive thoughts that are crushing to have it get this bad after all this time and I'm thinking that this is Benzo Wave slash Zoloft tolerance is the best I can figure but it's not just anxiety based my brain has been severely damaged and I have another drug doing it's worst on top of it and it is very scary what is happening to my brain both the physical and emotional symptoms are beyond anything I've ever experienced and have changed and increased so much over the last few weeks and that's what is getting to me. 

 

 

I have a question they say not to go back on a Benzo or AD but especially benzos after two weeks off and they say not to taper another drug while I'm Benzo WD because it can de stabilize you more and make matters so much worse so that's why I'm confused about what to do because it really seems my Benzo symptoms are just now peaking out at 10 months and most don't seem to get relief till somewhere between 12-18 months off and experience some sort of massive wave like this during the 6-12 month time frame so with that being said with it already being this severe and being in what is probably the worst of the Benzo WD just now and knowing it can be several more months before it might let up and knowing Zoloft could be aggravating it and I could have reached tolerance with that drug and now getting negative effects and knowing my brain is already confused and in severe recovery mode what do I do hear? 

 

It really seems like i hopeless lose lose situation with no answer just more suffering and pain ahead! 

 

If i go back on a Benzo there is a high chance of kindling and tolerance again and WD being so much worse the next time which I'm already about to give up know and if I hold on the Zoloft if I am in tolerance that could make it worse and if I taper it that could make things so much worse and if I switch to another drug that's like playing with fire and messing with my brain even more so what to do here that's why I'm scared because of the situation I'm now in literally feel like Ive gone back a year in my recovery and the doctors at the hospital did me no favors but if this continues to get more severe and increase like it has I want have a choice it's that bad! 

 

The head pressure and physical pain in my head is so severe I can't can't get out of my head and the crushing fatigue and nausea and deep dark depression and intrusive thoughts make me feel like I'm honestly losing my mind and going completely crazy. 

 

I knwo it it wasn't even this bad last year at this time when I realized after the lexapro nightmare what Xanex was doing to me and as bad as it got right before I went into the hospital here I am almost a year gone by and worse now than ever before.... 

 

So if I do decide to micro taper the Zoloft what is the best course of action here and if o do the lowest drop for a few weeks it seems to go from 87.5mg to 85mg first for at least two weeks then maybe gradual reductions by 5% like then down to 80 and so on would be less than 10% I think but as bad as it is and as severe as these symptoms have become i really don't know what to do this is horrible! 

 

Most say they are holding on all other drugs until the Benzo WD is finished but on my case that could be a really long time from now so what do you do stay on a drug that's not helping anymore or making you worse? 

 

I dont know but but none of my care or since the damage has been done has been done right so I don't know what to do here? 

 

[ChessieCat]

49 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

If you do it and it doesn't work then you won't have lost anything.  However, unless you do it you will not know if it is going to work.  And if you do it and you start to feel a bit better you will have gained something. 

 

I wish you well Maize.  I have nothing more to offer.

[maizeNblue81]

So that's it please don't give up on me ms cat I really don't know what to do here this is horrible and I'm so scared if I knew the answer I would do it but I don't and the doctors haven't helped me at all! 

[ChessieCat]

I'm sorry Maize but you have worn me out.

 

Posting your symptoms and questions might be your way of trying to cope and to make sense of all of this.  However, it is not a good way and I believe is only making you worse.

 

You need to learn new ways of coping.  Whether that is doing an online course or by going to a therapist.  If you do go to a therapist it would be best not to go into a detailed description like you do here.  All you need to mention is the facts of the drugs you took and that you need to learn ways of coping to calm yourself down.

 

From:  Before you begin tapering what you need to know

 

What do you mean by self-manage?

 

Dealing with this challenge requires a lot from you, the "taperer". You need to be able to

• take responsibility for your decisions
   
• exercise extreme patience
   
• tolerate discomfort and uncertainty
   
• communicate truthfully and responsibly about what is going on with you
   
• identify when you require local, in-person support and then take real-life action to obtain it

 

SA's role is to provide information to members.  It is a member's decision what they do with that information.  You have been given the information.

 

If you continue to only post your symptoms with no effort to post positively and learning non drug ways to help you cope with the discomfort and uncertainty of your situation, then there is nothing more that we can help you with at this time.

 

The information about Zoloft tapering has been provided.  Once you commence tapering your Zoloft please let us know and we can support you with that.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok thank you I may start this Sunday first of the week but I haven't decided yet so I'll let you know 

[JanCarol]

On 7/24/2017 at 0:53 AM, maizeNblue81 said:

Ok I'm sorry just read these last two and I don't think it's stinking thinking at all.

 

On 7/26/2017 at 6:16 PM, powerback said:

brilliant advice and wisdom ,we got to get control of our minds and thoughts ,as Eckhart tolle says "the addiction to thinking "

 

If you cannot control your moods and thoughts, who can? 

 

Is your family averse to you finding a CBT based therapist, perhaps at a local mental health clinic?

 

It is Stinking Thinking, you beat yourself up regularly, and we have to "watch," albeit from an internet distance.

 

What color are your daughter's eyes?  Does she have long eyelashes?  Does she say cute things to you?  How is your heart warmed?  These are what you should be listening to.

 

OR - conversely - the symptoms are trying to tell you something.  If you are under pressure, nervous, anxious - yes, it is ramped up by chemical withdrawal (again, you are still within "normal" timeframes for withdrawal, so just stop ruminating on that) - but the feelings behind the neuro-emotions are real.    Neuro-emotion  

 

There is a thing called the Still Small Voice.  You have been thrashing about too much to hear it.  

 

Quote

1 Kings 19:11-13King James Version (KJV)

¹¹ And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lordwas not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lordwas not in the earthquake:

 

¹² And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

 

 

When you become still, whether in prayer or meditation, and let all the thoughts go by, the Truth remains. 

 

But you have to let go of the thoughts, the ruminations, even the feelings (at first, later, from a place of stillness the feelings become more true), just let them wash over you and through you, and in the Stillness afterward, that's where the Truth is.

[Martina23]

maize, I wanted to encourage you a little. I had this feeling of losing control, going crazy, getting schizophrenia on the beginning of my withdrawal. It was terrible. And I am two years off the drugs and I dont have these thoughts to this extent anymore. It totally went away. I still have some intrusive thoughts but they are much milder. It will be like this also with you. Stop worrying. You will not go psychotic. It feels only so (it is only anxiety speaking). Relax, give it some more time and they will surely go away. Sure, I dont know which role your Zoloft plays in your symptoms, but if it is withdrawal driven, it will surely get slowly better!

[JanCarol]

Hey Maize - 

 

On 8/5/2017 at 6:45 PM, maizeNblue81 said:

help me figure out what is Benzo what is Zoloft

 

Stop!

 

Are you listening?  We will never know this.  It is like trying to decide whether a tidal estuary is salt water or fresh water.  It will shift and change all the time.  Sometimes more salt, sometimes more fresh, sometimes the levels are high with tide, sometimes they are drenched with rain.  Let go of this rumination it is torturing you, and there is no answer.

 

Quote

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

 

 

On 8/6/2017 at 3:15 AM, maizeNblue81 said:

my question is with how severe my symptoms are currently is it safe to taper now

 

Your symptoms have not changed.  Your dose of Zoloft is high.  Your coping toolkit isn't very well developed.  

 

So - it's a thing you can try.  If, for example, you do a 5% reduction and it goes south, then we will know it's not the right direction.  If however, 5% is no change or even improvement, it gives us a direction to follow.

 

You did finally get a graduated cylinder, so it is at least an option on the table.  It might tell us something.  It might be really hard.  As Scally said, it is your choice, but these are the factors I would use in making the decision:  if it is the same or better, that's a good sign.  If it's worse, then you really (really) need to improve your non-drug toolkit.

 

You need to do that anyway.

 

On 8/8/2017 at 3:15 AM, ChessieCat said:

  On 1/10/2017 at 10:53 PM, JanCarol said:

I am also wondering if moving your dose to earlier in the day will help - that is something you can do while you are waiting to see the doc. 

 

Take it one hour earlier each day, until it is a morning dose.  It may also clarify your symptoms, as moving the time of dose will give you a slight shift in experience.

 

So if I do say so myself, this was a brilliant idea.  This would give us some clues as to your permanent question of "is it Zoloft or benzo?"  

But no, your NEXT answer to Chessie was to complain about how scared and freaked you are.

 

So - we give you a course of action (the same thing happened in January) and you ignore it, choosing to pay attention to your symptoms instead. 

 

What do you think about moving your dose an hour a day to an earlier time?  This is a tiny, tiny change and can be so informative.  Just take it an hour earlier for 3 days.  If that is successful, take it an hour earlier again.  It is the same dose so there should be no withdrawals from it.

 

On 8/16/2017 at 1:53 PM, maizeNblue81 said:

The head pressure and physical symptoms in my brain I know is Benzo related

 

No, you don't really know this.  It may be related to the horrendous life changes you've suffered in the past year.  The pressure that you and your situation place upon you.  It may even be the pressure from a high dose of Zoloft on top of benzo withdrawal.   The drugs are certainly an awful thing - but you may have to change some of the things that drove you to the drugs in the first place.

 

Like Ali said:  COPING SKILLS are vital.  

 

You may also need to sweep through your life like a tornado and get rid of all of that which is harming you, is toxic, burdensome, painful - and seek out those things which are relieving, helpful, uplifting.

 

Sheesh, I'm only 2 weeks behind, and yet I have 2 pages to read.  Will it all be this grim dreary stuff like you've written before?

 

I hope you see the sun today. 

Edited September 4, 2017 by JanCarol

[JanCarol]

Hey Maize, 

 

On 8/23/2017 at 3:38 AM, TryingToHoldOn said:

Right now your choices are:

1. Don't make any changes and suffer

2. Reduce your Zoloft, monitor for a few days and see if your symptoms improve - even the TINIEST bit.  If it does, this may indicate you're having an adverse reaction.  If it doesn't help, you can stabilize on the reduction dose and cut again when you're feeling 'better'.

(emphasis mine)

I will add a 3rd choice - in preparation for step 2, work on moving the time of your Zoloft from evening to morning.

 

On 8/27/2017 at 6:26 PM, ChessieCat said:

During the day set a reminder to go off every half hour or hour.  When the timer goes off sit in a position which is the most comfortable and spend 3-5 minutes doing controlled deep breathing.  Breathe in as slowly as you can through your nose and concentrate on pushing your belly/stomach outwards so that the bottom of your lungs can fill with air.  Try and hold that for a few seconds and then breathe out as slowly as you can, either through your nose or your mouth, whichever is the most comfortable.

 

I'll make it even easier.  Just take 3, long, slow deep breaths.

 

If that's too much, take 1.

 

If that's too much, just exhale.  Then inhale. 

 

Build up to 3, long slow deep breaths.

 

As that gets better - build up to the 3-5 minutes that Chessie brilliantly suggests.

 

You keep asking "Is it benzo or is it Zoloft?"

 

I have given you a couple things to find out.  1.  Moving the Zoloft earlier in the day, 2.  Genesight testing for CYP profiles.

 

But you continue to ask the question without doing the work.

 

You can't get out of this without doing the work.

 

See the sun today.

[bheb]

Hi Maize.  I just stumbled upon your thread. Have you improved? Or found some coping mechanisms that work for you yet?

[Wagen]

@maizeNblue81

 

Did your buzzing in head/ears resolve - Ive had in now for two months after stopping amitriptyline. It feels like very load electrical buzzing in my ears and head with intermittent tinnitus sounds in both ears. Im still taking mirtazapine and have horrible sleep problems. Could you please let me please know your experience. Thank you very much!