MaizeNblue81: Tapering Zoloft during severe acute Xanax WD

[maizeNblue81]

I don't want to go the drug route at all! I didn't even want the Zoloft. I'm just trying to figure out what to do and why I've taking such a huge turn for the worse over the last week. I mean it's not been a little change it's been severe almost overnight and it didn't hit me 3-4 days after the drop it took right at two weeks then it's knocked me almost completely out!

 

I mean I haven't had any windows just one constant wave of our torture since coming off in Detox in October and if I thought I felt bad a week ago or two weeks ago that was nothing tonwhats hit me over the last week! I'm actually physically sick now to the point of not being able to stand up and the pressure burning numbness and head pain has doubled since last week, I extremely nauseous, very weak, completely numb emotionally with this wave of intrusive thoughts that's hit me again my vision has been off the DP/DR extreme confusion has gotten so much worse I mean this really is crazy how bad of a turn it's been it's went from really bad to I don't know if I'll survive!

 

I'm so sorry I'm not trying to be difficult or annoy anyone I'm just lost and I was trying so very hard to hold on but this really has almost knocked me completely out of any hope that I might have been holding onto!

 

I didn't get a chance to make it to the doctor today but I'm gonna try and get their tomorrow afternoon as soon as my mom gets off work. It's been that bad I mean I haven't been to the point of going to the hospital in a long time as bad as it's been but this is killing me!

 

I don't even know what to say to the doctors or what they may want me to do but atleast they can make sure I'm physically ok and I was just out on the porch and thought about it I will not ever go back on benzos but should I think about going back to 100mg on the Zoloft and trying to see if that helps but then I've already been down for 18 days now and would that just make it worse? This is just such a mess and it's been the hardest most difficult thing I've ever experienced even before these new changes so I'm really struggling and scared and worry about me and my kids and I really don't know what to do?

[maizeNblue81]

Oh I forget one new thing I noticed today along with the vision and extreme head pressure is dizziness and feeling light head led when I stand and that's hit me out of the blue today too so something has changed big time and it's gotten so much worse!

[JanCarol]

You are still talking of going to hospital?

 

Why would you go?  Do you fear that there is something wrong with you besides withdrawal?  

 

Then - walk into hospital, talk about an endless headache that has lasted for months.  Talk about head pressure and visual distortions.  Talk calmly and ask for imaging.  

 

When the images come back - hopefully they will be clear. 

 

Then you will know it is withdrawal.

 

If they give you scripts, bring them home and ask us here.  We're not likely to say "that's a good idea," so plan on tearing the scripts up (there are some exceptions where a script might be a good idea).

 

But - even though you will still have the head pressure, and visual distortions (also very normal in withdrawal), you will have the peace of mind that there is no tumour or blood clot causing your symptoms.

 

If, however, you want to go shrieking into an emergency room and cry "Stop my pain!" they will, as Scally suggests, be happy to drug you to the gills.  And then you will have more drugs to taper from.  They are most likely to give you an antiseizure or neuroleptic (called "antipsychotic") drug, to "amplify" the effects of the Zoloft.  Abilify is popular for that, as is Lamotragine.  They don't "amplify" anything, they just drug a drug effect.

 

I showed you videos of Fresh.  Did you look at them?  Did you see her agony?  She is fine now!  

 

I'm still waiting on your "homework."  From me, I'd like to know if you watched Fresh's videos, and hear how you feel, what you think about them.  

 

if she can survive that - and many people here survive that - you can too.  You will be fine, too.  But you have to stop, be still, and wait. 

[maizeNblue81]

Yes ma'am I understand I will for sure let you know what they say or what they recommend and I'm not looking for anymore drugs as it wa the drugs that put me in the position I'm the first place!

 

I'd rather deal with anxiety and panic attacks than this any day!

[JanCarol]

So you are going to the hospital to get the head pressure / visual disturbances checked out?

 

Or have you decided to hold and wait?

[maizeNblue81]

I think I'm gonna try and go this afternoon if I can but honestly I woke up again this morning and could hardly move or breath. The head pressure and physical pain are really bad and have gotten so much worse over the last week but the issue is to like the extreme fatigue, confusion, dizziness, DP/DR, and what's really alarming to me is the racing and intrusive thoughts have come back big time and are scaring me!

 

I don't know if that's the drop in Zoloft or benzo wave but a week or two ago I could say my worst symptom by for was the head pressure but the mental and emotional symptom have gotten so bad again I don't know?

 

Do you think the thoughts and the mood changes and psych symptoms are a result of lowering the Zoloft? Cause it just hit me like this two weeks after the drop.

 

Do you think that because my doses aren't 100% accurate that could be affecting it?

 

Why the extreme fatigue and physical sickness on top of the head pressure?

[maizeNblue81]

 

Ty and I appreciate everyone for trying to help me more than I can say or put into words.

 

It's just gotten so much worse over the last week and I don't want anymore drugs but I wander if the drop in Zoloft or maybe the fact that my doses aren't 100% accurate every night the way I'm having to do it is hurting me?

 

It's been 19 days now and this didn't hit me till right at two weeks after the drop so would going back to 100mg create more stability or will that just make it worse cause as far as drugs are concerned Zoloft is it for me I don't want anymore psych drugs and honestly after being in the hospital I didn't even want that but here I am and what can I do to get back to even wher I was two weeks ago because this has been so bad!

 

It's just alarming how sudden this hit and go so much worse and it happened almost two weeks to the day on the drop of Zoloft

[Happy2Heal]

I understand why you want to know why this is happening 'now'- because then maybe you can figure out what to do to "fix" it

 

I've been there, done that. I'm a good example of what NOT to do.

 

I just hope that others can learn from my mistakes.

 

I know it's hard, but you need to stop using up so much energy on asking why, and just work on doing SOMETHING that can help you feel better NOW.

 

It won't be a drug, so... what else can you do?

what have you tried so far?
 

have you tried taking an epsom salt bath? have you tried meditating or using a relaxation CD? have you tried reading or watching TV to distract yourself from the distressing feelings and thoughts? or chatted with a friend, or gone for a walk?

 

believe me I KNOW how hard it is to do these things when you are feeling so awful.  Most of us know, because we've been there too.

When you think about it, you will realize, if WE can do it, so can you.

 

yes it sucks and yes it's not fair and yes it's taking a LOT longer than we ever could have expected and surely way longer than we'd like but the good news is, it WILL END

 

in the meantime, though, you need to find ways to calm yourself. No one else can do that for you.

It requires a whole new way of looking at our problems.
Before, we looked OUTSIDE ourselves for solutions, to drs, for drugs (or for some people, alcohol, illegal drugs, food, even to numb our feelings etc)

 

now we need to look INSIDE ourselves to find the strength and the things that can calm us and help us get thru this tough time.

 

we all have that strength inside us, we just need to find it.

 

Just focus on one minute at a time. PLEASE!! stop adding up the days that you've been feeling bad, it is only making you feel worse.

You are adding to your pain and distress by focusing on it, you need to just stay in the present and think about, how do I get thru the next hour or the next five minutes?

YOU can do this!!

 

 

oh by the way, EVERYTHING is going to seem and feel alarming. That is because while your brain is healing, it's got it's signals all messed up.

It's sending out danger danger danger signals when there IS NO DANGER

 

the feeling is just an indication that your brain is healing at the place where danger signals are normally sent out. It's trying to get back to normal, and it will do it in time.

 

so try to talk back to the alarming feelings, tell them: I know that nothing truly bad is happening, there is nothing to be afraid of. These feelings are unpleasant, horrible, even but they are NOT dangerous.

I am healing and getting better.

 

all I need to do is just accept the process and let it happen. Don't fight it, it won't help and it is probably making your symptoms get worse.

 

You WILL get a window. You have probably had tiny ones already but you are SO focused on all the negative stuff, you haven't noticed them.

 

try to think of one thing that has gotten better, even if only a little bit.

focusing on the good things will actually help make more good things happen and happen sooner

 

you can do this!!

[maizeNblue81]

Yes that's for sure where I'm at to have this turn for the worse that seems to coincide with the Zoloft is more than I can bare and if going back to the 100mg just to get consistent dosing and back to even where I was two weeks ago then ok but other than that I'm done with psych drugs period these drugs are nothing short of poison and have made me so much worse and not better!

 

Again I would rather have dealt with panic attacks and anxiety over this any day of the week and twice on Sunday!

 

It's so hard because of how long I've suffered and then to have things get so much worse now to think about a future or hope for tomorrow and I'm so very tired of all the suffering with no end in sight!

 

I so much appreciate everyone here and on BB that have tried to help me and I'm doing the best I can to hold on and ty y'all so very much for all your help and support because the doctors here have done nothing but make me worse and my family just looks at me like I'm crazy and it's not the drugs that have done this to me so I do feel all alone in this and that makes it hard too

[Happy2Heal]

It's so hard because of how long I've suffered and then to have things get so much worse now to think about a future or hope for tomorrow and I'm so very tired of all the suffering with no end in sight!

 

 

Just focus on one minute at a time. PLEASE  stop adding up the days that you've been feeling bad, it is only making you feel worse.

You are adding to your pain and distress by focusing on it, you need to just stay in the present and think about, how do I get thru the next hour or the next five minutes?

 

Think of it this way: we have all been thru tough times. I am 61 yrs old, I have a decades of hard times. If I only looked at the hard times, I could add them up and say, omg I have suffered all this and I do not know what suffering I will have in the future.

 

I already told you, you are going to heal. You are also going to feel better eventually. I don't know when, no one does.

I  have suffered thru a very rough time since October. about 4 mos months now.

 

But I also had moments and even hours and a few days, where I felt ok. Better.

 

You are having these too, you are just not paying any attention to them.

I want you to try to absorb this as much as you can:  YOU NEED TO FIND THOSE GOOD MINUTES AND FOCUS ON THEM, AND THEY WILL GROW

 

 

 

let go of the bad times that have already passed, they are in the PAST.

you GOT THRU THEM!!

 

you did it!

so you know you can get thru this. You have proof

 

yes yes YES it sucks, it sucks for ALL of us.

 

I will come back to this thread to help you but ONLY if you show some signs of helping yourself.

you still did not answer the questions the mods asked you.

 

you REALLY need to do that, ok?

 

I am not going to write any more until you do, ok?

 

 

believe me I know what it is like to be alone, I live alone and can go weeks without seeing any one. we will give you support here, but you need to do things to help yourself

 

 

;-)

[maizeNblue81]

Thank you so much and I wouldn't and I'm sorry it's just that the misery and suffering has really gotten so much worse! I was hanging on the best I could before this but this is a whole new level of suffering and it seems to coincide with dropping the Zoloft and I don't know what to do? It's gone from a crisis to a complete breakdown and I just don't understand I may have no choice but to go back up to the 100mg cause this is unbearable!

[JanCarol]

 

 

Do you think that because my doses aren't 100% accurate that could be affecting it? 

 

At the high dose you are taking, it shouldn't be a huge, destabilising difference.  But accuracy can be important if you have become kindled.

 

Can you get a Gemini 20 scale?  They are cheap, and "good enough" for our purposes.  They are also available from Amazon:

http://www.awscales.com/portable-precision-scales-01-gram/75-gemini-20-portable-milligram-scale

 

Also - I have to ask you (I can't recall from your thread) - do you drink any alcohol?  Any at all?  A beer on the weekend?  

 

Alcohol - especially if it's benzo withdrawal - can really make your process tortuous.  If you have been drinking alcohol, please stop torturing yourself.  If you haven't - then please forgive me.  I had to ask.

 

Reminder:  It does not matter what caused your problem.  Stability is the key point right now.  Years from now you may look back and have insight as to what it was.  Or maybe not.  We don't focus on the problem, we focus on solutions.  Stop digging the hole and look up for a way out.

 

I'm still waiting on your homework....if you do your homework, I'll tell you stories about my divorce....(it was crazy, man!).  That's a promise.  Now - there may be others here who want to hear these stories - so - there's some peer pressure on you.  Don't make everyone wait!

 

The longer you wait on doing your homework, it's like school - it gets backed up.  Now you are behind, because I have a new task for you:   I'd like to see you go to the shops, buy a box of Epsom salts.  Pour half the box into a bath, and sit there.  For 20 minutes.  (not too hot, just a nice, warm bath).  You can read if you want, or listen to music, or just hold your head and groan.  But try it.  (you can go up to a whole box, but for your first bath, please just use half).  You will be amazed at what a cheap box of Epsom salts can do.

 

So:  Homework:  Find some positive things to try.

Try them.

Report back here.

Skeeter gave you how many to try.

 

Included:  View Fresh's videos  (just for me)

Try an Epsom Salts Bath. (just for me)

 

Inducement:  let me tell you what a magnesium chloride (stronger than Epsom, but not absorbed as well) does for me.

 

I can be in cringing, groaning, pain, walking like a chimpanzee.  I crawl into the salt bath.  Sometimes I can only stay for 10 minutes.  

 

It feels to me, very much like a valium used to feel.  My shoulders drop from my ears, my muscles let go their clenching, and the pain lets up.  Sometimes I'm hurting again an hour later - but I have had a "break" in the pain, and that's usually enough for me to go on.  Except - unlike the valium, it nourishes the nerves instead of depleting them.  And therefore there is no kindling, upregulating, or addiction.

 

THAT's why I want you to try a magnesium bath.

 

So - did you go to hospital?  What did you say?  What did they do?

[Altostrata]

We do urge people to be very regular and as precise as possible with their dosing to avoid this kind of worry.

 

Alcohol could definitely increase and extend the nervous system upset.

 

As far as drug adjustments go, you can go up, down, stay the same, or quit. If up or down, we advise trying a very small change to see how it goes. If you stay the same, you'll have to hang in and cope. We do not advise suddenly quitting.

 

Other than all the dosing adjustment considerations we've already discussed with you, I cannot tell you how to solve your problem.

[maizeNblue81]

No I honestly don't drink I actually haven't even had one single drink in years so that's no it. And as far as dosing and meds the only med I'm in is Zoloft and this massive change and uptick in symptoms didn't start until exactly 2 weeks after the drop and I know that the 87.5mg is not completely accurate every day and I really don't have the funds or a way to get a scale so I'm stuck with that.

 

Would it hurt me to go back up to 100mg after 3 weeks? Would the consistency in dosing help or would this make it worse? I don't plan to just stop the Zoloft at this point I mean I was just thinking that out on the porch knowing if it's this bad after a small drop then I would literally die if I just stopped it! Would their be kindling involved in this or if I went back up? This has just gotten so much worse over the past week and I'm not sure what to do? I will write back after I can get to the ER and see what they say for sure!

[maizeNblue81]

Ok I'm really scared now! The symptoms are getting so much worse by the day the head pressure burning tingling head a vice numbness and pain in my head is getting so bad it's effecting my vision and my ability to stand up because of extreme dizziness and fatigue. The confusion DP/DR, mood and intrusive thoughts are all increasingly getting worse as the days go on and I am actually on the way to the hospital as soon as my parents get here to take me.

 

I don't know what to do or what I'm gonna say to the doctor or what they can do for me but I'm so tired of the suffering everyday with no end and to have it get so bad to where I feel like I need to go to the hospital again after 4 months is making me lose whatever hope I had left!

 

I don't know what has caused this drastic change and worsening of symptoms but the only thing I can figure being that it hit me 2 weeks after the drop of Zoloft is that it's either that and maybe adding to it the doses not being completely accurate or another extreme wave of benzo WD I don't know but I can't keep going like this I literally feel like I'm dying and I haven't felt this bad since I went into the hospital in October!

 

This is so crazy I can almost guess what the doctors are gonna say when you put two and two together is the issue with the Zoloft and going back up to 100mg but is that gonna make it even worse after 3 weeks of the drop in dose? Is their kindling involved with all this? Why is the benzo WD still so bad and I'm having acute symptoms still at 19 weeks off with no windows and waves just waves?

 

I'm just trying to figure it out cause it reall us gotten that much worse over the last week and I can't endure this level I was barley holding on before!

[maizeNblue81]

I'm sorry I haven't got the homework done I've just been that physically and emotionally sick and these symptoms have really just hit me that hard but I'm trying to hold on!

[Altostrata]

Sorry, none of us can predict the future. You might try an increase to 90mg and see what that does.

[maizeNblue81]

Well I really can't do that I don't have a scale and if I go back up I'll just have to go back to the 100mg tablets and it's been 3 weeks today since I started the drop and I'm twice as bad now!

 

The head pressure is getting so bad it's like buzzing and dizziness every time I stand up or left my head and it's like all the energy has been completely drained out of me nothing left and can't hardly get out of the bed! I'm just laying here shaking now with pins and needles in my arms hands legs and head and I've went into just straining crying spells about 3 times today mixed in the horrible thoughts the mood swings the pressure in my head extreme confusion DP/DR and this is so much worse than two weeks ago I really feel like I'm dying!

 

I'm sorry I'm not trying to say the same thing over and over again and I'm not trying to ignore the homework you guys gave me it's just really that much was it feels like I was 4 months ago and I've taking that big of a step back in my recovery if you can call it that cause it's just constant suffering with no signs of improvement at all now worse!

 

I'm mean even my vision has gone crazy lately and I've been trying so desperately to get to the ER but I don't have a car and depending on my parents and I really can't hardly get up of the couch or my bed it's hit me this hard!

[ChessieCat]

From this topic:  Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

 

Make your own liquid
Many people make their own Zoloft liquid out of tablets and water. See How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

[JanCarol]

Maize - if I recall - you were having severe head pressure BEFORE you tapered the Zoloft.

 

You were "dying" and ready for hospital, then, too.

 

Again - if you want to go and check to see that there's nothing physically wrong with you - please - do that.

 

Please do not go up to 100 mg, it's too big of a jump.  If you can, as Alto suggests, try a tiny increase - that might ease your symptoms (or it might not).

 

I hope you feel better soon.

[maizeNblue81]

Yes it was bad before the cut in Zoloft but the symptoms have double and gotten worse since then especially over the last week.

 

The head pressure is worse and I don't understand that because I've been off for over 4 months now and no improvement just getting worse! It's so bad now I can't hardly open my eyes, my vision has gotten worse and all of the sudden I'm extremely sensitive to light and I don't understand that?

 

The psych or emotional symptoms have amplified as well the extreme confusion DP/DR, horrible thoughts have come back now it's crazy!

 

I feel so physically weak and sick that all I can do is lay here in bed and cry in complete agony and torture. If it was bad two weeks ago it's even worse now!

 

As far as the Zoloft going back up a half of a half of a 50mg tablet is too much? Cause that's how I've been doing it and again it's not completely accurate I'm sure cause I take a whole 50mg tablet a half of one that's 25mg and a half of a half to get me close to that 87.5mg that was the initial cut and it just seems to have gotten this bad and all these symptoms increased two weeks after the cut so again I don't know if this is another extreme wave of benzo WD or the effects of changing the dose of the Zoloft which I don't understand either of those because with the benzo WD which I know has a lot to do with the head pressure and physical pain I'm at 19 weeks out on that and their has been no windows just one long wave that's gotten worse and with the Zoloft it wasn't a massive cut and to all these symptoms get this bad after all this time is killing me!

 

I don't know what to do? My mom is even wanting to take me to the hospital and I don't think it's the regular hospital she's wanting to take me back to the psych hospital which means more drugs their gonna try and shove down my throat and that's not what I want! As far as meds the only concern is the Zoloft and I don't know what to do about that? I don't have the ability to measure things out on a scale or do to much with that it's either stay the way I've been doing it which doesn't seem to have helped or go back up to 100mg and leave it alone but things are so much worse and I'm really losing hope at this point that I will ever get better or this will ever end!

[maizeNblue81]

Why has the head pressure and physical pain gotten so much worse? Extreme dizziness extreme fatigue why has all this gotten so much worse with no sign of improvement after 19 weeks?

[ChessieCat]

From this topic:  Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

 

Make your own liquid

Many people make their own Zoloft liquid out of tablets and water. See How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

 

Maize, did you even check out this information about making your own liquid to get a more precise dose?

[maizeNblue81]

No honestly I do well enough to remember to take it and to be able to break the pills up and cut that half in half on a nightly basis.

 

I'm searching for hope but I'm finding none! This has gotten so much worse over the last week or so and honestly I'm barely hanging on. I was just outside crying so bad I was choking and the pressure and pain in my head I can not begin to describe and has literally doubled in the last week! It feels like someone is taking a vice and squeezing my head till it wants to pop along with someone taking a knife or a chain and stabbing my brain and pulling down or jerking it and the severe pain and numbness and burning is unbearable followed by a light head and dizzy feeling like I'm gonna pass out and extreme burning all over its misery and taking and draining the life out of my to where I have no energy or focus at all!

 

The confusion and despair all the mental symptoms even my vision has gotten worse I really feel like I'm dying and it's so bad I told God if he's not gonna heal me then just kill me and get it over with because I can't take this level of suffering anymore I'm at my whits end and I'm so very tired!

 

Why has it gotten so much worse now why is this so bad? What can I do? Is it the Zoloft? Why am I still having major head pressure to the point it pulls me down to the floor and I can't left my head off my pillow after 19 weeks it's crazy! No sign of improvement no sign of hope for me to hold onto at all!

 

My dad is taking me and promised we are going to the ER in the morning but honestly they are wanting me to go back to the psych ward because my symptoms have gotten this bad again and I don't know what to do?

[JanCarol]

Maize - have you tried the Epsom Salts thing?

 

Based on your reporting, you are spending 24 hours a day holding your head and moaning, only taking breaks to post about it here.  

 

We have given you options to do things which help you, but apparently you are too busy holding your head and moaning to try any.

 

The longer it goes, the more homework you may get - because every time I try to help you - it results in me asking you to do something to help yourself.

 

I'm deadly serious about the Epsom salts bath.  I could not survive without it.  Okay - I could survive, but I wouldn't be very active, and would need a lot of medical attention (my doctor wants me on psych drugs for my pain).

 

If you cannot bring yourself to take a bath - or do not have a bathtub, here is what I keep around.  This is my red bucket.  I go to it about 6x a day right now.  It is hot in Queensland, and the bucket is cold.  It is full of epsom salts, baking soda, borax and Zen Muscle Oil.  Just 5-10 minutes standing in the bucket, or sitting with my feet in it - and the pain drains out my feet and for a short time, I can go on.

 

It's a simple, 5 gallon bucket from a place like Lowe's or Wal-mart.  They have them all over the world, I seen them in home renovation shows in Europe, US, and Australia.  

 

 

Or - I could give you more homework (5 min):

 

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah it's just gotten so bad lately I can't hardly move or walk or leave my bed I'm so physically and emotionally sick and the head pressure and pain has been off the charts! I'm going to the ER in the morning

[maizeNblue81]

The new and worsening of symptoms is this normal? Is this Zoloft or benzo WD?

 

I'm laying here in bed now with so much burning, numbness, pressure, and pain in my head I can't breath and the emotional symptoms or psych symptoms have dipped down to a very dark place again and I'm really scared and don't now what to do?

[maizeNblue81]

Two weeks ago I could at least lay here and get still and watch a movie on Netflix and half way get my mind of it but now the pressure and pain in my head is so bad and the mental symptoms have dulled numbed and taking such a drastic turn I can't even do that anymore and the fatigue and physical exhaustion it's all that I can do to left me head up! What's happening to me?

[mammaP]

Hi MB, I am sorry to see that you are suffering like this. I have been away for a whike so have just seen your topic and I agree with the other mods that you are suffering benzo withdrawal. Sadly this can go on for quite a long time, but does get better.  I know how scary these symptoms are, many of us here have been there and survived. It is IMPORTANT, very important that your zoloft dose is regular and consistent. Chessie has posted a link for you to make a liquid, it is a daunting thought and one that terrified me too but honestly it is so much easier that cutting up tablets. I empty a capsule in water but tablets are also easy to dissolve. Syringes can be bought cheaply from amazon. I would do that ASAP and go up slightly to 90 as suggested.  My daughter takes zoloft and those tablets are very hard to cut into pieces to get a consistent dose, even with a pill splitter. 

 

I also love epsom salts baths but don't have a bath since my recent move and also use a bucket, just like JC's but mine is pink . 

Get through each day, and just give way to the symptoms. Being so scared and fighting them makes it worse.   I've had many serious illnesses over the years and have leaned the best way to get better is to let the body repair itself. There is always physiotherapy, which is gentle to start and your nervous system is no exception, gentle exercise and taking care of yourself while your body and brain heals.  

 

Think about the things you enjoy, spring is on the way so gentle walks in the spring sun, breathing in the air and listening to the birds. 

I know you have heard all this before but it really does work, and you really will get better in time. 

Every day write down what you have enjoyed, however small.  Also log your symptom pattern on paper, so you can see the changes. 

 

You will not die from withdrawal but I know it feels like it, I used to think that I wouldn't wake up if I went to sleep, I was so ill but didn't know anything about withdrawal and all doctors did was pile on more drugs that made things even worse. I wish this site had existed back then I would have been saved years of suffering by just letting my body heal. 

 

You really WILL get better, but first you have to get that dose of zoloft stable, and allow your brain and nervous system to recover. 

[Skeeter]

Maize,
Your pharmacy may give you some syringes for free (go to your regular one, of course, where they know you, ask for a couple of 1cc syringes, a 10cc, and maybe a 50cc, explain it is for medication, and they should be happy to help. If you have a woman in the house who has some, use clear nail polish to paint over the numbers and lines on the outside of the syringe so they do not fade. If someone can help you with your liquid taper, it takes NO brain power from you. You have no excuse not to try this, as you have been given a link, and obviously do not live alone, or you would starve to death. A level dose may help things. Or, are you not interested in a FREE way to maybe feel better? My guess is that you will have some reason as to why no one in your house could not possibly help you for some reason. Another option would e o go to your doc and ask to reinstate a small dose of your benzo.  If you are interested. 

                                                                              
If anyone wants to step in and suggest different sized syringes than I have mentioned, please do. I am overly tired at the moment, so I may have gotten the ones he needs wrong, perhaps? **NOTE, 1ml is the exact same as 1cc.

Skeeter

[maizeNblue81]

I'm trying so hard to hold on but this has gotten so much worse over the last week and it seems to have taking a massive turn for the worse since about the 2 week mark of making the small cutvtobthe Zoloft and it has been misery since then as I'm on week 3 of that.

 

The head pressure and pain is twice as bad now and I can barley left my head up having extreme fatigue can't hardly stand up and the emotional symptoms have put me back in a really dark place with extreme confusion, DP/DR, horrible dark cloud of intrusive thoughts have all gotten so much worse I can't even hardly get up to go to the bathroom or find the strength to get out of bed or even type this!

 

I really don't understand why it's taking such a turn for the worse I'm 19 weeks out now on the Xanax and on week 3 of tapering the Zoloft to 87.5mg or as close as I can get with a pill cutter and I'm so physically sick I can't hardly breath or move and the emotional symptoms are scaring me again so I don't know what to do?

 

All this seems to coincide with the cut in the Zoloft but I'm not sure if it's that or another massive wave of benzo symptoms or a combo of both but it's so much worse than even two weeks ago I'm really struggling to hold on.

[maizeNblue81]

I woke up this morning with the head pressure and pain in my head along with the fatigue being so bad I couldn't hardly move or get out of the bed! My emotional symptoms have all gone down hill and my vision has gotten bad it's all getting worse by the day and I'm very scared and don't understand what's happening to me I can't even hardly talk this is so severe and I feel physically sick and like I'm literally dying!

[maizeNblue81]

Well I'm at the ER now and it's so bad I can't hardly raise my head or stand up the head pressure and physical pain in my head is so bad. I'm extremely nauseous feel like I'm gonna throw up and just extremely fatigued and sick I can't even hardly open my eyes or swallow and all the sudden my vision is off and my nervous system is a complete reck I'm just setting here shaking!

 

My emotional symptoms are so much worse now the intense intrusive thoughts DP/DR confusion are all off the charts and I'm so scared this is so bad!

 

I checked in and tried to tell the nurse what was going on and she just looked at me like I was crazy and I shouldn't be having these symptoms or they couldn't be caused by Xanax WD after 4 months so I don't know what they can really do for me but I feel like I'm dying and having a psychotic breakdown!

[maizeNblue81]

Ok came to they ER and the did blood and urine of course and did a cat scan and all came back normal. The ER doctor did not want to add anymore meds to the situation but recommended I go back up to the 100mg on the Zoloft since this new wave of symptoms appeared and the old ones got worse after 2 weeks from the time I started to cut the Zoloft but I do have concerns about that so I'm not sure what to do?

 

The physical pain burning numbness and pressure in my head is so bad I can't hardly stand up right now I can't left my head and between the pain feeling physically sick almost like I have the flu and the horrible evil intrusive thoughts cloud over me I lit

[ChessieCat]

Hi Maize,

 

If you are asking what the mods here think you should do, you have already been given that information.  Maybe read back over the responses you have received since joining SA.

 

Alto Strata, who has posted a couple of responses to you, is this site's owner and has done massive amounts of research and is very knowledgeable.  She has already given you her opinion.  This is her Video:  Alto Strata's Paxil Prolonged Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome (8 minutes)

 

Nobody except you can make the decision about whether to change your dose.  However, one very important thing is to make sure that your dose is as precise as possible and that you take it daily at about the same time.

 

Skeeter kindly provided the information about how to get the syringes you need.  If you need some assistance working out how to calculate your dose, there are mods and members here who are happy to assist.

 

I can understand that you are going through a very tough time at the moment.  However I do not think that continuing to post your symptoms and continually repeating how miserable you are feeling is very helpful to you.  Other people have posted their thoughts and suggestions about how to distract yourself with non drug techniques.  We can make suggestions but you are the one that has to do them.

 

Even if you can do something that will distract you for 5 minutes that is 5 minutes of time in which your body and CNS is less stressed.  The next time you might be able to distract for 7 minutes.  It is like any habit, you need to do it and practise it and nobody can do it for you.  Instead of reading and/or posting on this site, go to Youtube and type in funny cats, or funny dogs, or something you are interested in.  Maybe find some soothing music that will help you to relax for a short time.  There are lots of things.  Even something like playing with the kids' lego blocks.  Just anything that will help take your mind off how you are feeling.  I can remember there was a time I learnt how to fold Chinese friendship star out of strips of paper.  For a few nights, whilst the TV was on, I was folding lots of these stars and my husband asked me why I was making them and I answered, no reason except that I'm just enjoying making them.  My daughter suffers from anxiety and when she visited recently she found some nice smooth rocks in my yard and asked if she could have them.  She wanted them for holding and feeling to help with her anxiety.  Blowing bubbles is another one.  Distractions doesn't have to be complicated or costly or anything like that.  Even joining paperclips together!

[maizeNblue81]

I'm not trying to complain or act ungrateful for the help everyone tries to give me at all! I appreciate all the advice and support I receive from and on BB. That being said I honestly don't know what to do the suffering and pain has gone to a whole new level over the last week and it's so bad I told my mom in the ER while waiting for the doctor if Gods not gonna heal me then I wish he would just take me cause I can't handle this pain and suffering anymore especially how bad it's gotten over the last week!

 

I can not convey how drastic of a change in my symptoms has been since the two week point after starting the taper on the Zoloft.

 

The head pressure numbness pain and burning in my head is so severe I can't hardly more or function at all and it's to the point I can't hardly talk or stand or even cry it's so bad much much worse than two or three weeks ago and it's getting hard to even swallow!

 

My whole forehead and face are completely numb and their is so much pressure and pain in my head and my neck I can't stand it with constant burning and numbness in my temples and down into my neck!

 

When I'm not crying like at the hospital I would cry in complete agony and pain and then all I could do was slouch over in pain and when I tried to be still there is this evil cloud of intrusive thoughts that bombarded my mind and between the physical pain and suffering and now the emotional symptoms getting so much worse I don't know what to do cause I feel like I'm dying and their is no hope and no end to this torture and their has to be an explanation to this drastic turn or change in my symptoms like this and I can't figure it out and I'm scared more than ever know and don't know what to do?

 

It's got to be either more benzo symptoms a wave or them jut getting worse after 19 weeks which I don't understand that or the decrease in the Zoloft and again I know the 87.5mg is not completely accurate like tonight when I tried to cut the half a 25mg tablet into half to make my 87.5mg dose I know one half was slightly bigger than the other but I was so sick I didn't care and just took it for the night!

 

The doctor gave me a scrip for the 100mg tablets again so I'm just suffering I feel dizzy and like I'm gonna pass out I feel physically sick and nauseous my head is burning and numb and so much pressure above my eyes and in my forehead up to the middle part of my head down into the back of my neck I feel like all the life has been drained out of me and my emotional symptoms are so erratic right now I feel like I'm having a psychotic episode on top of it with the intrusive thoughts SU/HM ideation coming back it's all getting so very bad and I'm so scared!