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Dez: Antidepressant hell, need support


Dez

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O,

 

I'm so sorry you are dealing with so much right now and that it's so difficult for you. It can get very scary when all these other symptoms come up. You seem to be finding your own way through the dark and should be very proud of that. Someone's we just have to go with it. Let your symptoms be and let them happen. Go along with them and do your best to hang in there.

 

New symptoms are normal and as they come, others will go away. Eventually all of them will go away, but your brain is still healing. Somethings will be new and other things will remain at times. Just know that this is all normal as your brain goes through the healing process. You seem to be unable to focus, but so much is going on that it's understandable as to why you're unable to focus. One day your mind will clear, give it time and have patience. It's going to be alright :)

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

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Dez -

 

Thank you for your encouragement and kind words.  When you are in a wave or feel like you are in the pit of despair it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Those are the days I know I should be practicing acceptance, but it is hard. 

 

How have you been feeling?

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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O,

 

For awhile I was doing really well, but these last three days it's been awful. Severe chest pain, weird nerve feelings down my arms, headache and pressure, exhausted, pounding heart, feeling like I'm going to die, depressed mood. I'm honestly terrified as this chest pain is really bothering me. I keep thinking about the ER visit and all the tests they ran that came out fine but I'm really struggling lately. Today is the worst, I've been in bed the entire time, too worried to get up and do things. I'm tempted to take some simple pain meds as I just about can't take this. Sis wants me to go to the doctor to see if the pain is being caused by something else but I don't know. I don't want to go. I'm just lying here feeling like I'm going to die and hopeless about me fixing this. This is the greatest negativity I've had and really need some support. I don't know of anyone else that's had this kind of chest pain so I'm scared.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Dez I am so sorry you are going thru this, please know that it will get better ok?

 

when did you get checked out at the ER?

 

chest pains are a WD symptom, I had them just under my heart and at first was concerned about a possible heart attack, but I waited it out, and the pain stopped, only to come back at the same time the next day and for several weeks after that.

 

are you able to read or watch a movie or something to take your mind off things? sometimes that's the best thing we can do, distract ourselves

 

also moving around and reassuring yourself that you're ok can help a lot too. I know when I've been really scared, I've had to force myself to get up and do things, just to prove that I still could. It can make you feel a lot better really fast.

 

if you still feel bad, maybe try a hot bath with epsom salts?

put on some relaxing music maybe

 

what oils do you use in your aromatherapy? I like nag champa the best.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Catnapt,

 

I'm doing my best to hold on. I'm thinking the pains are from tension, as I do feel muscle pains under my breasts. It's also been rainy and u seem sensitive to the pressure in the air with my head. Also coming off my period, so there's a lot going on, it's just scary.

 

The ER visit was back in November or December. Blood work, chest X Ray, EKGs were all done. Blood pressure checked, everything. I was healthy as could be except for my high heart rate.

 

I've had these chest pains for quite some time. Sometimes they get worse, other times they get better. Maybe this is one symptom that's just really bad for me? I know some people have issues with other symptoms more.

 

I've been doing things to keep myself distracted but I've also been very dizzy today, something that's new for me. If I lay down then sit up I'm really dizzy but it goes away after awhile.

 

I've been so tempted on the bath in hopes it will ease my muscles. Maybe I'll try that tonight.

 

I use eucalyptus for sinus relief, lavender, and a kind of anxiety relief mixture. Mixing them together smells so good and it's very relaxing. I also drink a lot of lemon ginger tea, but switch to other herbal teas as well. It seems to help many things for me for at least a bit.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

I'm sorry you are having such physical symptoms. Maybe if it is muscle tension a good heating pad may help. I recently bought a rice pack from my local pharmacy that I microwave and put where ever I'm feeling tension. Sometimes it really does wonders. I hope this symptom goes for you soon. I've noticed once something goes away once, the next time it comes back im not as scared of it as before because I know it will go again.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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Thank you, Waiting.

 

I think I'll try my rice sick tonight and see if it helps. It makes sense for the chest pain to be tension, right? None of this started until withdrawals so that has to be it.

 

I how it goes away soon. It's so scary and hurts so bad. But I'll try to be strong through this. Thanks for the support!!!!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

I found this post online. I hope it's ok to copy and paste here.

 

""Part of the stress response changes include tightening the body's muscles so that they are more resilient to damage. This can include the muscles in the chest area and rib cage. This chest pain symptom is an example of how the chest and rib cage muscles can feel when we're anxious.

 

When stress responses occur infrequently, the body can recover relatively quickly from the physiological, psychological, and emotional changes the stress response brings about. When stress responses occur too frequently and/or dramatically, however, the body has a more difficult time recovering, which can result in the body remaining in a semi hyperstimulated state, since stress hormones are stimulants. A body that becomes stress-response hyperstimulated can exhibit similar sensations and symptoms to that of an active stress response. This symptom is an example of why the body can experience symptoms simply from being overly stressed.

 

Moreover, stomach and intestinal distress can also cause chest pain symptoms. Another part of the stress response changes affect how the stomach and digestive system function. So being overly anxious can cause stomach and intestinal upset, which can cause chest pain.""

 

Sometimes hyperventilating (another wd & anxiety symptom) can cause chest pain too. Deep breathing can sometimes help. Making sure to exhale longer than inhaling. There are good apps for this like 'pacifica' that I use. Of course if you are worried by all means you can go get checked out. No harm in that dear.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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Omg thank you!!!! I think this helps me put a logical reason on what's happening. I'll be looking at this frequently to be reassured, thank you so much! Perhaps now I won't be so scared when I feel these sensations. Thank you!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Went to the doctor today and didn't like him. He told me that prescribing medications is "the American way" and that I should never stop taking my meds (I didn't want to argue this and say that I've been to psychiatrists ANYWAY about this). I have fluid in my ears from allergies, thrush in my throat probably from dryness, and a stomach ulcer. What tests were done? None. He just looked and felt. That's the problem with having no insurance, I guess.

 

He wants me to take Zantac for the ulcer, Nystatin for the severe dry mouth, and Claritin for the fluid in my ears. None of these are long term but I'm so tired of medications. My mother and I almost got into an argument of why I was hesitant to even go with this. I don't expect her to understand. How could I?

 

I'm scared, but I'll give at least the Nystatin and Zantac a try, just so I can eat. I'm getting so close to being an unhealthy weight. Maybe the ulcer is causing my chest pains. I don't know. I'm getting so tired. I'm hanging on, but moments like this depress me. I'll hang on. I'll do my best.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment
  • Mentor

I am so sorry the dr treated you so poorly and that you're feeling so unwell

 

I hope you feel better real soon

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Thank you, catnapt. I'll still continue to do my best, no matter what happens. Just sometimes I have doubts that this will end and I'll get better. Hard to believe sometimes, but I know it will. Thank you for your continued support!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment
  • Mentor

Thank you, catnapt. I'll still continue to do my best, no matter what happens. Just sometimes I have doubts that this will end and I'll get better. Hard to believe sometimes, but I know it will. Thank you for your continued support!

 

 

Oh, I hear you!! I had SI this morning, now I am in a window and am so glad that I waited it out. It's just awful when the waves hit, and riding them out can be so darn hard.

 

but things DO get better, and they will get better for you!!

 

we are healing, whether we can feel it or not. We are going to get there!!!

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Yes we will! Just got to hang on and ride it out!!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Dez -

 

I am sorry to hear that you had a bad experience at the doctor.  I am sorry to hear that you are feeling bad. 

 

Hang in there!!!

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

Link to comment

Thank you, O!

 

I've got the medicine for the thrush and it's not as disgusting as I thought. Still very nasty. I hope it works, I heard that thrush can actually cause chest pain. Ulcers can too, so I really hope it will help and go away completely. The chest pain has got to be my worst symptom.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

I'm sorry to hear all of this :( Sending you lots of healing wishes. Remember how strong and resilient you are. I hope to hear a good report that your pain is decreasing soon!

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

Thank you, Waiting.

 

I've learned a lot about Candida and what it can do. I'm going to restrict my diet even more and see if I can fight this off. It could be down my throat and in my chest, which would explain why I'm in so much pain. Plus the ulcer really doesn't help.

 

Tonight I'm not feeling too well. Chest is very achy and I have a bad headache, which makes my ears throb from the fluid. It's all got me really depressed. Like really depressed. Which Candida can also cause. So I'm starting to wonder if the majority of my symptoms are caused by this awful fungus. Here's what I think happened:

 

Going off ADs caused a lot of stress ---> stress caused my immune system to drop ---> this happened around holidays, so bad food made symptoms worse and caused Candida overgrowth ---> Candida overgrowth causes a lot of the same symptoms as withdrawals and can exacerbate WD

 

I'm questioning a lot of things right now. I know protracted withdrawal syndrome is a thing, and I know Candida causes a lot of issues, but the biggest thing I've seen that helps both is a good diet. The no sugar one is going to kill me, but I'm going to stay on a very strict diet with these meds to fight back and pray my immune system gets up and running properly again. And also pray this pain and depression goes away with it, as it's very hard to make it through the night. I want to fight this. I want to beat this. I want to live and be alive and I'll be damned if anything stops me.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

There she is! The girl with the fight in her! The meds will probably help but there are also lots of natural things you can do too! (Like the benefits of raw cabbage for ulcers etc) I'm right there with ya. I STILL have my infection after 21 days on antibiotics. They are giving me a few days break before starting me on a stronger kind. I know how you feel, it feels like your body and brain just can't 'get it together'. I wonder what is whatdrawls and what is from this nasty infection I've had forever or if both are just making each other worse. Either way, our bodies are stronger than we could ever know. They are designed to heal. It's going to happen, get ready!

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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Ooh and vitamin c might really help too for immunity. Of course research on here if that is a good idea or not. I haven't read anywhere that it isn't.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

Thanks, Waiting!

 

Wow, still have the infection!? That's insane! It's hard to believe something like that, I really hope you can get that healed soon. I'm certain withdrawals are a huge cause to the drop in the immune system. I've never had so many problems until this, it's frustrating! Praying for the both of us in hopes we'll beat this real soon! You're right, our bodies can handle it. It's just our brains are babies :D

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Dez -

 

I hope the medicine helps you and that your symptoms will resolve.  How long will you be taking the medicine?  How awful you are dealing with all of this on top of withdrawal. 

 

You are in my prayers.

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

Link to comment

O,

 

So far the medicine seems to be doing its job with the fungus. I'll be taking the Nystatin for 10 days and I think the Zantac for a month? Doctor never wrote it on the paper.

 

I've also been having some issues with personal things. I live with my sister and lately I feel as though she's really getting tired of me. I feel like my personality and things that made me who I was is degrading. Everything I wanted, my sister has. She'll point things out to me that hurts, like saying things like "I can handle myself without you" simply when I tell her all she needed to do was ask me to do something and I would. I don't know if she means things badly, she's my greatest support, but I just feel I have nothing anymore. She'll bring up things I've said in the past and it just hurts. I'm taking it the best I can, but sometimes it's difficult. This isn't easy, all of you know that, and we never asked for any of this. It's not our fault. So why do I feel like it is?

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Dez -

 

I am glad that it is helping with the fungus.  I hope that the Zantac helps. 

 

I am sorry to hear that you are having issues with your sister.  I am sorry that what she is saying is hurtful.  Have you talked about it with her?  Maybe she doesn't realize that what she is saying is hurtful.  I have a sister that will say dumb things to me, but I know she doesn't mean them like they come across.  If she is your greatest support then I would think she would want to know that she is hurting you. 

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

Link to comment

O,

 

It's hard to talk to sis about certain things. I try not to take things to heart, since I know she loves me and would never purposely hurt me. But I just feel I can't tell her it hurts. I'm sure she'd get upset or down and I'm really trying to avoid that. I want to tell her things, but I know how she can get if something upsets her. It's like being careful to not hit a wrong switch in case something blows, you know?

 

How have you been, though? I hope things are better for you.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Dez,

 

In the "Symptoms and self care" section, there is an entire thread devoted to chest pain issues ..... I have had them too.

 

They come and go, but mine have eased off since I started doing floor exercises for strengthening.

 

Take care,

JC X

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

Link to comment

Junglechicken,

 

Thank you very much for that information. Perhaps more exercising quill do me some good with that. I'm glad to hear that the symptoms have eased off. Perhaps the rest is due to anxiety.

 

http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety/symptoms/chest-tightness-anxiety.shtml

 

This website explains a lot about the anxiety symptoms. It's not easy to deal with, but it can put others at ease I hope.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment
Junglechicken,

Thank you very much for that information. Perhaps more exercising quill do me some good with that. I'm glad to hear that the symptoms have eased off. Perhaps the rest is due to anxiety.

http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety/symptoms/chest-tightness-anxiety.shtml

This website explains a lot about the anxiety symptoms. It's not easy to deal with, but it can put others at ease I hope.[/quote

 

No worries Dez, however I hadn't realised that Candida can cause chest pains too (among other things).

 

Need to check whether "Nystatin" interacts with Lexapro, as the last anti fungal oral medication suggested to me by my doc did interact, so that was that - never got a crack at it.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

Link to comment

Dez -

 

I do understand about not wanting to talk to your sister.  I also understand about not wanting to hurt her.  Sometimes people say things and they think they are helping you.  I know that I am much more sensitive about things being in withdrawal.  Things can cause me to get angry or sad very quickly.  My husband has said things to me and I know he thought he was helping. 

 

Thank you for asking about me.  I have been okay.  I had an emotional week last week.  One of my closest friends has cancer and the prognosis isn't good.  She has about 1-2 years left to live.  I am still kind of in shock and numb.  She was one of my friends that I would talk about withdrawing from Prozac.  She had also been on Prozac and went off it.  She could certainly relate to what I was going through.  I am just so said for her and her family.  I am trying to focusing on being a good friend and not letting her see how upset I am. 

 

When I was on Prozac I was pretty much in a little happy world.  Now being off Prozac I have realized that happy little world doesn't exist.  Things were so much easier when I was drugged on Prozac, but I know that was no way to be living my life. 
        

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

Link to comment

O,

 

Being emotionally sensitive on top of everything else gets difficult to deal with. Last night I mentioned to sis how I feel she can't rely on me anymore. She just said "Meh, I don't rely on anyone anymore" and I bawled for like an hour after without her knowing. It hurts so much because I know it's true. She's one of the most important people in my life, so to hear she no longer relies on me is hard to handle. I still clean the house, take care of the pets, garden, and organize things when I can and even when I feel I can't. That has to mean something.

 

I'm so sorry that your friend is going through so much. I know it's difficult on you. I'll be praying for you both in hopes you both recover from your issues. Spend as much time together as you can. And who knows, she may get better, she may live much longer. It's happened many times before where someone outlives what doctors said.

 

I know what you mean about that happy little world. Things seemed so much more different when on ADs. But I've learned that, despite all the physical, mental, and emotional pain, I don't want to go back on them. I can feel again. I could never do that on Celexa. While my derealization still keeps me from connecting to my world and the pain in my body keeps me from fully enjoying things right now, I couldn't go back. The funny thing is I can't even remember exactly what it was like on ADs, just that I wasn't like this. There is good and bad in that statement, but I'll still hang on to the idea that I'll get better. You will as well, just hang on. No matter what life throws at you, no matter what happens around you, no matter what happens to you, hold on. There's so much to life still. So much to see and do, to experience and explore, people to meet, laughs to let out. Look forward to those. Even if it's just one good day a month, look forward to it, don't take it for granted because they're worth it. And one day it'll be so much better.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Dez -

 

I can understand you being upset.  I am sure your sister does rely on you in some way.  It sounds to me like you are doing things to help out.  You should be proud of yourself for doing things even when you feel that you can't, that is a difficult thing to do.  It is so much easier to give into how you feel and just lay down. 

 

Thank you for your prayers.  I greatly appreciate them. 

 

Things did seem different when on the ADs.  I agree I wouldn't want to go back on them, but just miss the feeling I had while on them.  I also have derealization and it does make it hard to connect to the world around you.  I have days where I feel like I could just sit in a chair all day and do nothing and as odd as this sounds my mind would be blank. 

 

Reading what you wrote about getting better and hanging on brings tears to my eyes.  I have been having a rough couple of days and I have been crying a lot.  I am upset that I just don't feel like myself.  I use to enjoy life and was upbeat and happy.  That person is gone.  That is why my screen name is O2bhappy.  That is what I want.  Was that just the medicine making me feel that way?  I use to be happy and enjoy life before I started taking Prozac.  I try and think about the fact that I am no longer on Prozac and what a blessing it is to be off it, but I guess there is a small part of me that wishes I was still taking it.  I know it wasn't living in reality when I was on it.  I am sorry that I am venting.  I am just not feeling well today. 

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

Link to comment

O,

 

It's okay, don't worry about venting. That person you used to be isn't gone, they're just buried deep within yourself. It's hard to find a way to get to them but they're there just the same. As you have windows that person emerges and shows a little bit of themselves. Eventually that person will come out and stay out, it's just a matter of time. I know you're not feeling well, but that's normal in these situations. It will get better, just keep going, never lose faith in that. There are times when that's hard to believe, that we'll ever get better. But if others worse than us healed, why can't we?

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Dez -

 

Thanks for reminding me that I am still here.  I haven't had many windows.  I am also always dealing with some withdrawal symptoms so maybe that is why I haven't seen the real me shine through.  I certainly hope and pray that healing does happen.  It is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are in a wave of withdrawal.

 

I have a very bad habit of comparing myself to others.  I judge people's outsides by how I feel on the inside and I know that isn't right.  I see people having a happy life and going out an enjoying things and here I sit feeling scared to do anything.  I have to push myself to do things and life shouldn't be about pushing yourself to enjoy life.  I need to learn to stop comparing myself to other people    It is an awful habit I have developed while in withdrawal. 

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

Link to comment

O,

 

We have a hard time seeing the good through the bad but it's still there. Healing is happening, it's just taking awhile to happen like we want it to. I took another person it's like being thrown in hell and you're given only a spoon to dig your way out. But you have to keep tunneling upwards, don't look back. It'll take awhile, and it'll be tiring and painful, but progress will be made. Singletons you may slip back a bit but your grip is strong enough now to never slide back to the beginning. Just rest and keep tunneling on. Look forward, not back. There's nothing down there in that hell pit anymore, but there's a surface above you waiting to be broken through. You can get there.

 

I feel it's normal to compare yourself to others in this situation and too long for a similar life. But remember, you know more than they do. You're stronger than them, too, more compassionate and understanding. And when you get better it'll be just like that but you'll be wiser. Do try to get yourself to do things, as it does help with healing, but don't push it. I've noticed the more I start making myself live my life rather than let this control me, the better I feel. I can't let this run my life. I'm tired of being scared of everything. You can take control as well, but whatever you do, don't give up. Ever.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

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Dez -

 

I want to first start by saying THANK YOU!  Your post has really helped me.

 

---it's like being thrown in hell and you're given only a spoon to dig your way out. But you have to keep tunneling upwards, don't look back. It'll take awhile, and it'll be tiring and painful, but progress will be made. Singletons you may slip back a bit but your grip is strong enough now to never slide back to the beginning. Just rest and keep tunneling on. Look forward, not back. There's nothing down there in that hell pit anymore, but there's a surface above you waiting to be broken through. You can get there.---

 

I cannot tell you how much that has helped me over the past couple of days.  The visual of digging myself out of hell has helped me.  I have had a rough couple of days and this gives me the courage and strength to move on. 

 

--- I feel it's normal to compare yourself to others in this situation and too long for a similar life. But remember, you know more than they do. You're stronger than them, too, more compassionate and understanding. And when you get better it'll be just like that but you'll be wiser---

 

I would hope after everything that we have been through getting off these drugs that some good will come from it.  I am hoping that I am stronger and wiser for the pain I have suffered. 

 

---Do try to get yourself to do things, as it does help with healing, but don't push it. I've noticed the more I start making myself live my life rather than let this control me, the better I feel. I can't let this run my life. I'm tired of being scared of everything. You can take control as well, but whatever you do, don't give up. Ever.---

 

I do make myself do things.  Some days it is easier to push myself.  I am able to do more then I was a year ago, so that is helpful.  I just wish that I could do more.  I am lacking motivation to do most anything.  

 

Thank you again Dez for always being here for me and offering such kind and hopefully words. 

Discontinued Fluoxetine cold turkey after taking it for 12 years. Stopped taking Fluoxetine in August 2015.

My current withdrawal symptoms: Itchy skin, smell hallucination, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and anxiety. 

Synthroid for hypothyroidism.

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Thank you, Waiting.

 

I've learned a lot about Candida and what it can do. I'm going to restrict my diet even more and see if I can fight this off. It could be down my throat and in my chest, which would explain why I'm in so much pain. Plus the ulcer really doesn't help.

 

Tonight I'm not feeling too well. Chest is very achy and I have a bad headache, which makes my ears throb from the fluid. It's all got me really depressed. Like really depressed. Which Candida can also cause. So I'm starting to wonder if the majority of my symptoms are caused by this awful fungus. Here's what I think happened:

 

Going off ADs caused a lot of stress ---> stress caused my immune system to drop ---> this happened around holidays, so bad food made symptoms worse and caused Candida overgrowth ---> Candida overgrowth causes a lot of the same symptoms as withdrawals and can exacerbate WD

 

I'm questioning a lot of things right now. I know protracted withdrawal syndrome is a thing, and I know Candida causes a lot of issues, but the biggest thing I've seen that helps both is a good diet. The no sugar one is going to kill me, but I'm going to stay on a very strict diet with these meds to fight back and pray my immune system gets up and running properly again. And also pray this pain and depression goes away with it, as it's very hard to make it through the night. I want to fight this. I want to beat this. I want to live and be alive and I'll be damned if anything stops me.

 

Dez,

 

You have voiced my situation exactly.

 

JC x

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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