powerback: tapering no 2

[powerback]

49 minutes ago, SkyBlue said:

Hi PB, thanks for the kind words and also the idea of warming the "kale cube" before putting in blender. I appreciate it. You take care too!

Hi sky I was thinking of you today when I was blending all my leaves that were starting to turn bad  on me ,I got the leaves and loads of fresh parsley blended and frozen . I was chuffed .

I forgot to say that you can buy frozen kale from the store ,which is of course much handier but I like doing it myself with the fresh smells .

 

Be safe and keep fighting that demon but as miT often says to me don't fight it ,we could be putting do much energy into the fear of were our minds take us rather than were we actually are . 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, Scorpio said:

Good to hear pb. Enjoy your weekend away and fingers crossed those symptoms continue easing down again. 

Thanks scorpio ,you keep fighting them viruses,i see its bright until 6pm now so we are on the turn for spring .as I say to my partner "that's a grand stretch in the evenings".

Peace . 

[SkyBlue]

39 minutes ago, powerback said:

Hi sky I was thinking of you today when I was blending all my leaves that were starting to turn bad  on me ,I got the leaves and loads of fresh parsley blended and frozen . I was chuffed .

I forgot to say that you can buy frozen kale from the store ,which is of course much handier but I like doing it myself with the fresh smells .

 

Be safe and keep fighting that demon but as miT often says to me don't fight it ,we could be putting do much energy into the fear of were our minds take us rather than were we actually are . 

 

Hi PB, Sounds good ;you got a lot done!

 

Thanks, I will keep fighting! By "fighting" I don't mean "fighting" exactly; I mean more like hanging on, not giving up, staying in the game. And eventually winning.

[dj2010]

how are you PB? did you have a nice weekend away?

[powerback]

1 hour ago, dj2010 said:

how are you PB? did you have a nice weekend away?

Hi DJ sound man thanks for asking ,very overwhelming but mostly a nice weekend .I noticed I was very impatient traveling with others but it was more comfortable than traveling alone I think .the weather was nice in Scotland ,nice sunny days except Sunday but no rain .

 

This process we all go through on the site gives us quite the insight into things like depression and human  behaviour and I'm quite worried about my brother ,he's dealing with depression and resentment and the worst of all denial.im at pains to get him help and understand what's going on   with him .He didn't move from the airbnb the whole time we were there ,while the rest of us all went for lovely walks with his daughter .its very sad and the last thing I need in withdrawl ,everyone else is aware of how he is so I don't have to tackle him alone .his attitude is horrendous and his girlfriend is asking me for answers ,I feel for her so much .

Back in October I tried to use my withdrawl as a leverage and said to him  look I'm never giving up and will always fight this and get better and you keep losing the weight and in the spring we go for hike in Scotland ,but he has gone even more inside himself .

 

Anyway enough about that ,I hope your well DJ and ive so much respect for members like yourself raising kids in this process ,my niece was stuck to me like glue the whole weekend and she was an angel sent from heaven to me I believe .

Take care my friend .

 

 

   

[dj2010]

34 minutes ago, powerback said:

Hi DJ sound man thanks for asking ,very overwhelming but mostly a nice weekend .I noticed I was very impatient traveling with others but it was more comfortable than traveling alone I think .the weather was nice in Scotland ,nice sunny days except Sunday but no rain .

 

This process we all go through on the site gives us quite the insight into things like depression and human  behaviour and I'm quite worried about my brother ,he's dealing with depression and resentment and the worst of all denial.im at pains to get him help and understand what's going on   with him .He didn't move from the airbnb the whole time we were there ,while the rest of us all went for lovely walks with his daughter .its very sad and the last thing I need in withdrawl ,everyone else is aware of how he is so I don't have to tackle him alone .his attitude is horrendous and his girlfriend is asking me for answers ,I feel for her so much .

Back in October I tried to use my withdrawl as a leverage and said to him  look I'm never giving up and will always fight this and get better and you keep losing the weight and in the spring we go for hike in Scotland ,but he has gone even more inside himself .

 

Anyway enough about that ,I hope your well DJ and ive so much respect for members like yourself raising kids in this process ,my niece was stuck to me like glue the whole weekend and she was an angel sent from heaven to me I believe .

Take care my friend .

 

 

   

glad you had a nice time, sorry to hear about your brother, it is very difficult especially when going through withdrawal yourself, my brother is also having a bad time and I am certain his attempted suicide is what triggered off my withdrawal, he has been put on olanzapine and sertraline, I have had to distance myself from it all as bad as that sounds, its good that you have other family who can help you tackle him, you will be able to hopefully get him to try non drug treatments instead of him ending up on this site with us lot, 

 

sounds like such a nice relationship you have with your niece and she obviously loves you being around, 

 

the last month has been quite unstable for me, having quite a few mini waves, 

 

take care

[powerback]

1 hour ago, dj2010 said:

glad you had a nice time, sorry to hear about your brother, it is very difficult especially when going through withdrawal yourself, my brother is also having a bad time and I am certain his attempted suicide is what triggered off my withdrawal, he has been put on olanzapine and sertraline, I have had to distance myself from it all as bad as that sounds, its good that you have other family who can help you tackle him, you will be able to hopefully get him to try non drug treatments instead of him ending up on this site with us lot, 

 

sounds like such a nice relationship you have with your niece and she obviously loves you being around, 

 

the last month has been quite unstable for me, having quite a few mini waves, 

 

take care

That situation with your brother is terrible DJ sorry to hear that ,your quite correct to distance yourself ,your kids and yourself come first.

If I put to much effort into him im just avoiding my own situation ,so its a delicate balance .hes not open to any kind of spirituality or help.ive sent him countless things the last year .

Ye shes a little dote .

Off on a nice peaceful walk ,I dont miss the traveling the last few days .

Take care ,be safe.

[joy2730]

Hi Powerback

 

I just came back from a coach trip to Scotland on Sunday, 4 nights/5 days.  I call them 'granny coach trips' because they are full of older people and are a gentle pace.  My husband loves them and so do I secretly.  I found Scotland very peaceful and spiritual, it was just what I needed, a few days back in nature completely. 

 

Hope you are doing OK, I am fine at present, but had a little anxious patch recently due to house buying.

 

It is strange to find these parallels in our lives.

 

Joy

[Dalalea]

18 minutes ago, joy2730 said:

I found Scotland very peaceful and spiritual

Hi Joy!

I visited Scotland and England last August, just before my protracted withdrawal began! Such beautiful places! Memories from that trip have helped to keep me going now that I'm in the midst of withdrawal!

I spent a week in Scotland, met cousins for the first time on Isle of Wight, and wandered around St. Ives for a few days.

Thank you for bringing it to mind today!

[powerback]

11 minutes ago, joy2730 said:

Hi Powerback

 

I just came back from a coach trip to Scotland on Sunday, 4 nights/5 days.  I call them 'granny coach trips' because they are full of older people and are a gentle pace.  My husband loves them and so do I secretly.  I found Scotland very peaceful and spiritual, it was just what I needed, a few days back in nature completely. 

 

Hope you are doing OK, I am fine at present, but had a little anxious patch recently due to house buying.

 

It is strange to find these parallels in our lives.

 

Joy

hi joy ,trip sounds lovely ,I was on the west coast myself,i have family there and Glasgow  ,I was happy with the airbnb ,it was well equipped for pots and pans and cooking utensils ,I never know what I'm in for every time I stay in a different airbnb lol.

 

House buying would make anyone anxious so well done .

Take care joy thanks for popping over .

 

[powerback]

Tonight is a night for music and release pain and lots of it .not judging it but that instinct to hold back emotion is very strong .

I also need to pick up my taper soon ,which is scary but reading other threads and the support of my peers on SA  means everything to me .

 

Had a phone call a while ago from and old friend about a stag coming up and it has thrown up questions and a situation I am far from able to deal with and of course ile come out of it worse off ,people will think I'm ignorant ,I wouldn't even bother trying to explain my scenario ,I'm past the nightclubs and nonsense of stags anyway.

It was just interesting someone from my past connecting on a time before that I have gladly left behind and never want again .no offence to him . 

Of course I have all the usual Neuro guilt "was I polite enough".im an alien compared to the man this person would of known 8 years ago.  not only withdrawl but my lifestyle is nothing like back then .

[powerback]

 

[pinkfairy]

Hi p.b....

 

you habing nothing to feel guality about,your life style as changed for the better!you aren’t missing out on anything,but it will bring back memories no doubt!

 

your doing amazing & should be so proud of your self 

pink 

xxx

[powerback]

2 hours ago, pinkfairy said:

Hi p.b....

 

you habing nothing to feel guality about,your life style as changed for the better!you aren’t missing out on anything,but it will bring back memories no doubt!

 

your doing amazing & should be so proud of your self 

pink 

xxx

Thanks pink .

[powerback]

I loved this talk ,basically its about taking back control of our own lives and reasonability for it .

Of course our journey is more complex but there is many similar narratives we can learn from .

I know the headline  looks a bit click bate "never be sick again " ,could you imagine,we can all hope and dream .its definitely better than the nightmares at least .  

 

[mammaP]

Hi PB, you asked on my thread about my taper.  i reduced the beads in a capsule. Mine were 75mg but I halved them for years before starting to taper. I had tried the 37.5 tablets but got the dose in one hit which I reacted to so stuck with removing half the beads. I think did this for about 6 years. I didn't count them at that time, just eyeballed them, not something I would recommend!  When I started to taper I tipped out half, then removed around 10% but I didn't know about SA then so it took just a year. I counted the balls when I got to a level where they were easy to count. I felt better and better as the dose lowered and quit at 5 beads.  A month later I was in withdrawal and found SA.  Reinstated and  took another 2 years to taper. Ta[ering so few beads was hard because the lowest you can taper is 20%, but I got there eventually. 

 

Can you tell me about your taper, the capsules you have and how many beads are in them?  Did you take out 1 bead for a month, then 2 beads for a month, then 3 for a month, etc?  How are you feeling?  This will save me having to go back to the beginning. 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, mammaP said:

Hi PB, you asked on my thread about my taper.  i reduced the beads in a capsule. Mine were 75mg but I halved them for years before starting to taper. I had tried the 37.5 tablets but got the dose in one hit which I reacted to so stuck with removing half the beads. I think did this for about 6 years. I didn't count them at that time, just eyeballed them, not something I would recommend!  When I started to taper I tipped out half, then removed around 10% but I didn't know about SA then so it took just a year. I counted the balls when I got to a level where they were easy to count. I felt better and better as the dose lowered and quit at 5 beads.  A month later I was in withdrawal and found SA.  Reinstated and  took another 2 years to taper. Ta[ering so few beads was hard because the lowest you can taper is 20%, but I got there eventually. 

 

Can you tell me about your taper, the capsules you have and how many beads are in them?  Did you take out 1 bead for a month, then 2 beads for a month, then 3 for a month, etc?  How are you feeling?  This will save me having to go back to the beginning. 

Hi MP thanks a lot for getting back to me so quick .Aprox 80 beads in a capsule.ye 1 bead out everyday for about a month,I'm on a long hold since October ,as my sig notes starting taper approaching cold season not the best idea .

I am brutally sensitive to reductions but learning a lot about my body .

I am watching my strength daily to pick up my taper again.[viruses constantly  ]

 

2 years ago it was get me off meds quick but the last year I'm slowly accepting my reality of how long it takes.

I'm thinking lately my decision to go sober before withdrawl hit a lucky advantage [dare I say that]  because I don't care about missing out on events [all alcohol related ].

 

[mammaP]

I have read your topic right through this evening and here is what has stood out.  

 

2015 Jan  37.5 effexor

          Feb quit alcohol

          April 75.0 

         June  37.5

2016  March tapered  5 beads daily. 

            june  37.5

2017, January, taking out 2 beads every day. 

            Feb Went back to 37.5 

           Started tapering again March

          April 5th  day 16 of 2 beads out

          May  Went back to 37.5

         June  change of brand

         July 1 bead out

                2 beads out

        Aug 3 beads out

                 4 beads out

        Sept 5 beads out

        Oct 6 beads out

               7 beads out

               6 beads out

 

Attempted to taper 2016, and almost the whole of 2017 was up and down with doses,  most of the cuts were when you were still in withdrawal from the previous cuts.  Reading back it is plain to see that what you are experiencing is an unstable nervous system from all the changes. You never stabilised in between the cuts. They were very tiny cuts but they can make a huge difference with an already unstable nervous system.

I am not judging you or telling you off, it's so hard to see when you are in the middle of withdrawal and I empathise. 

Now the good news, and it is good! In December-January you had a really good window, you have had some small ones but the ones from December re really promising.  Your posts are more positive, you have been engaging in activities and feeling emotions, even if they have brought tears they are emotions and that is good. Tears are good!  The best thing you can do right now is nothing, just do what you are doing and let your nervous system settle down. This can take months, or even years for some people but it IS HAPPENING.  Every time you feel a 'wobble' like the recent one which was profound but short lived, it is your brain that is healing.  It took me 7 months to stabilise enough to restart tapering.  Stable doesn't mean 'normal', it means functioning on a steady level.  You are getting there, I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you are, and one day you will be off. For now forget about tapering. When you are ready to restart we can look at the best way for you. Until then do what you are doing, and when you get anxious and angry, just breathe through it and imagine you are in the forest or the highlands.  You desperately need to let your brain heal and recover from the changes. 

 

You also need to get a correct count for the beads in a capsule, there have been 'around 130' 'about 60'  'around 80' . You need to open 3 capsules, count them all and work out the average. I know I know, I had to do it too and that is a whole evening I will never get back!  Or you can get the tablets again. If 3 times a day is too difficult then twice a day will be fine. You can make a liquid and change gradually by reducing beads while increasing liquid until you are all liquid, then start to taper.  For now take the same dose every day and make sure that the beads you remove are the same size if possible.  Or a mix of different sizes. If you take 6 small ones out one day then 6 large ones the next day, that can be a variation of 1  or  2 mg.   

Take care and I hope you have a good nights sleep. 

[powerback]

On ‎14‎/‎02‎/‎2018 at 10:17 PM, mammaP said:

I have read your topic right through this evening and here is what has stood out.  

 

2015 Jan  37.5 effexor

          Feb quit alcohol

          April 75.0 

         June  37.5

2016  March tapered  5 beads daily. 

            june  37.5

2017, January, taking out 2 beads every day. 

            Feb Went back to 37.5 

           Started tapering again March

          April 5th  day 16 of 2 beads out

          May  Went back to 37.5

         June  change of brand

         July 1 bead out

                2 beads out

        Aug 3 beads out

                 4 beads out

        Sept 5 beads out

        Oct 6 beads out

               7 beads out

               6 beads out

 

Attempted to taper 2016, and almost the whole of 2017 was up and down with doses,  most of the cuts were when you were still in withdrawal from the previous cuts.  Reading back it is plain to see that what you are experiencing is an unstable nervous system from all the changes. You never stabilised in between the cuts. They were very tiny cuts but they can make a huge difference with an already unstable nervous system.

I am not judging you or telling you off, it's so hard to see when you are in the middle of withdrawal and I empathise. 

Now the good news, and it is good! In December-January you had a really good window, you have had some small ones but the ones from December re really promising.  Your posts are more positive, you have been engaging in activities and feeling emotions, even if they have brought tears they are emotions and that is good. Tears are good!  The best thing you can do right now is nothing, just do what you are doing and let your nervous system settle down. This can take months, or even years for some people but it IS HAPPENING.  Every time you feel a 'wobble' like the recent one which was profound but short lived, it is your brain that is healing.  It took me 7 months to stabilise enough to restart tapering.  Stable doesn't mean 'normal', it means functioning on a steady level.  You are getting there, I know it doesn't feel like it right now but you are, and one day you will be off. For now forget about tapering. When you are ready to restart we can look at the best way for you. Until then do what you are doing, and when you get anxious and angry, just breathe through it and imagine you are in the forest or the highlands.  You desperately need to let your brain heal and recover from the changes. 

 

You also need to get a correct count for the beads in a capsule, there have been 'around 130' 'about 60'  'around 80' . You need to open 3 capsules, count them all and work out the average. I know I know, I had to do it too and that is a whole evening I will never get back!  Or you can get the tablets again. If 3 times a day is too difficult then twice a day will be fine. You can make a liquid and change gradually by reducing beads while increasing liquid until you are all liquid, then start to taper.  For now take the same dose every day and make sure that the beads you remove are the same size if possible.  Or a mix of different sizes. If you take 6 small ones out one day then 6 large ones the next day, that can be a variation of 1  or  2 mg.   

Take care and I hope you have a good nights sleep. 

Hi MP thanks for such a detailed response and taking the time to read through my thread .I truly wasn't expecting you to put so much effort it my question .

I haven't replied sooner because I'm exhausted with a virus,so I apologise.i was surfing around the site but I wanted to give you a proper response .

 

I'm on quite the hold now .I've done a good bit of reading threads for a while and I've noticed I am dealing with very bad cog fog /no concentration for longer than I will admit .I simply cant function normally so the battle between hold and taper is excruciating . 

 

As my story shows [I'm not sure if it is explained  further back on my thread ] my withdrawl hit well before I found SA .on the advice of my doctor I halved a 75mg dose .so even though I can give others advice [not meds] I'm in a nightmare protracted withdrawl .Thankfully I stopped listening to my doctor more than a year ago or I would be on all sorts of meds ,the silver lining is I only need to get off  the dreaded "V".

 

Thanks a lot for your input and advice ,its duly notated .

I hope your well .take great care .

PB

[powerback]

Want to record an update .were do I start .simple fact its hell .this winter has been astonishing .constant virus since Christmas ,the last 2 weeks has been a constant living hell.i wont even go into all the symptoms and I'm well aware all I'm doing is repeating myself .I just don't know what ile do .

My brain just feels like its on fire .my world has become so small its become unbearable.

All I am doing is enduring constant misery.i found a quiet corner in the sun today on my walk but I couldn't relax because this process has taken my ability to be human away from me .

Apologies for being so despondent .

 

I so desperately want to be positive but its nearly impossible being nearly  constantly suicidal.what I'n the world is doing this,is it the drug ,then why am I even bothered holding.no mindfulness can help this ,I try constantly to push the thoughts out of my head .

Peace to anyone going through hell .

 

[joy2730]

Please make sure you have someone in the flesh you can tell your symptoms to.

 

Everyone will say stick with it or reinstate a little - what is your thinking?

 

Joy

[AliG]

PB. What do you think about MammaP's thoughts?

 

Mindfulness can help this ~ it's what I did when times were tough. You can do this, too.

 

Joy is right ~ I hope you have an "on the ground " person to speak to .

 

I had SI and it is completely gone ~ it was the drugs.

 

Take care.

Ali

[Scorpio]

Hi pb

im so sorry you are going through such a bad time. Those viruses got me four times from beginning of December to last week and I can only say they knock our cns terribly. Just let yourself start to feel better as the virus leaves you and then your windows will come back. 

 

It is only the last couple of days I have felt any easing of those horrible symptoms for quite some time. You have had windows and have helped me when I was struggling your windows will be back. 

[DaveB]

PB when was the last time you were stable? I know you may not like it, but maybe it is time for an updose? Just reading through your thread seems you have suffered for quite a long time with little results. 

[joy2730]

I agree with Dave B.  You must be careful not to push yourself too hard.

[powerback]

8 minutes ago, DaveB said:

PB when was the last time you were stable? I know you may not like it, but maybe it is time for an updose? Just reading through your thread seems you have suffered for quite a long time with little results. 

HI Dave you  have a valid point but that's not an option ,I've read enough updose stories to say it wouldn't go well for me .I reckon it's an acumalation of colds and viruses  and I think im fighting a urinary infection . so I presume my body is under serious stress ,thus the catatonic depression .

Thanks for your reply.

[powerback]

1 hour ago, AliG said:

PB. What do you think about MammaP's thoughts?

 

Mindfulness can help this ~ it's what I did when times were tough. You can do this, too.

 

Joy is right ~ I hope you have an "on the ground " person to speak to .

 

I had SI and it is completely gone ~ it was the drugs.

 

Take care.

Ali

Believe me I practice mindfulness alot ,I start to wonder about using mindfulness in extreme situations constantly ,almost like I'm just storing it away in a locked cubpord and then it's released ,I'm loosing my mind from the stress . constantly on the verge of snapping .

I totally get the want and need to control our behavior but lately there's a horrible enevitibility of my situation .

I could snap in the next 5 minutes and be gaurenteed to be homeless ,the stress of this is all consuming .

God knows what way my brain has been left like because of these meds .

Please don't relate ones experience to mine ,I'm extreme .I mean this sentence for new members .

Thanks everyone and Alig .

[powerback]

2 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Please make sure you have someone in the flesh you can tell your symptoms to.

 

Everyone will say stick with it or reinstate a little - what is your thinking?

 

Joy

HI Joy ,in my opinion it's pointless talking to anyone ,for a start I won't pay the €100 for a session and the charitable counseling isn't fit for purpose .trust me I've been there and since done my research .

I'll be fine I just need to get past this hellish period .I often wonder about my baseline of no meds and then I'm getting into genetics and I simply can't do anything about them .

 

Maybe I will look into an online offload forum because I don't speak to my partner or mother about this stuff anymore ,its gone on too long and I realised all I did was scare them ,so my opinion of having support has changed.actually come to think of a lovely member pm me a group last year .I must check it out . 

Thanks for your input ,I hope your well joy .

[powerback]

54 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi pb

im so sorry you are going through such a bad time. Those viruses got me four times from beginning of December to last week and I can only say they knock our cns terribly. Just let yourself start to feel better as the virus leaves you and then your windows will come back. 

 

It is only the last couple of days I have felt any easing of those horrible symptoms for quite some time. You have had windows and have helped me when I was struggling your windows will be back. 

Hi Scorpio your so kind ,I could cry with the agony of depression I'm in ,I'm second guessing everything lately ,even joining SA ,no offence to any member or mod ,its all me  .

I so desperately want to be a an example of hope .its crushing .I'm painfully aware of what its like to live with someone like this so my inner critic is on steroids.ide say I'm kindled a long time ago and I'm just ignoring the reality .

 

Maybe I should just give in and go to hospital for 6 months and sleep .I'm tempted .

I hope your well S thanks again .

[AliG]

I can relate to everything you just said, as I also went through it  ~  just hang in there ~ This gets so much better !  Keep breathing and just being ...  "  it does improve " over time.

 

I was " extreme" too ! Now ~ I'm good.

 

Just saw your last post ~ I understand the depression ~ all I can say is that it recedes, over time.

[powerback]

57 minutes ago, AliG said:

I can relate to everything you just said, as I also went through it  ~  just hang in there ~ This gets so much better !  Keep breathing and just being ...  "  it does improve " over time.

 

I was " extreme" too ! Now ~ I'm good.

 

Just saw your last post ~ I understand the depression ~ all I can say is that it recedes, over time.

Hi A thanks for your input its appreciated.i trust you, I do .I just hope I have the patience for this storm to go past .I woke the other morning drowning in my sleep[dream], yikes  lol.

I well believe it can be irritating when a member posts like I have today ,but as we know our journeys are all relative to our own time and experience in life,and I must say for me personally it couldn't of come at a more worse/destructive  time in my life [withdrawl] ,I'm nearly going to accept I wont have a life I thought I would of .I live with constant flashbacks ,so I often wonder about the damage done to my memory/feelings part of the brain ,not blaming totally meds.going a bit deep but if I ever find a pot of gold I can get the forensic psychologist to find me answers .

The last year I am terrified to listen to Jordan Peterson's teachings  ,I often fear he is correct and that terrifies me to my soul .

Take care A. 

 

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, powerback said:

HI Dave you  have a valid point but that's not an option ,I've read enough updose stories to say it wouldn't go well for me .I reckon it's an acumalation of colds and viruses  and I think im fighting a urinary infection . so I presume my body is under serious stress ,thus the catatonic depression .

Thanks for your reply.

 

That is interesting. I have rarely seen an updose cause many problems from what I have read. 

[powerback]

5 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

That is interesting. I have rarely seen an updose cause many problems from what I have read. 

I'm not well enough Dave to get in debate about meds ,everyone is different .its nearly 2 years since I was put in this mess by my doctor so its quite the nightmare .Good on ye being so versed on meds ,I never was so I cant get into a debate  that i might  be causing my own troubles.its far from that simple.

[Scorpio]

hi pb

this is not you talking this is those horrible neuro emotions grabbing your mind. The depression is all encompassing but it will go the same as it did before. Not so very long ago you were out walking, talking, enjoying the days. Those days will be back. Just keep on holding on, minute by minute, hour by hour. 

 

I would definitely put hospital out of your mind it is not a refuge it is an invitation to enjoy even more of these life enhancing drugs we are all so desperately trying to get out of our system. 

 

 

[DaveB]

2 minutes ago, powerback said:

I'm not well enough Dave to get in debate about meds ,everyone is different .its nearly 2 years since I was put in this mess by my doctor so its quite the nightmare .Good on ye being so versed on meds ,I never was so I cant get into a debate  that i might  be causing my own troubles.its far from that simple.

I was not meaning to be confrontational or offensive. I know very little, just trying to help if I can. Nothing is worse than suffering feeling like you have no hope, I was just saying you may want to consider an updose back to the dose you were on when you were stable. Then taper from there rather than continue suffering with the feelings of hopelessness. Your choice and honestly you know yourself and your body better than anyone, I just hate to see people suffering. 

[powerback]

1 minute ago, Scorpio said:

hi pb

this is not you talking this is those horrible neuro emotions grabbing your mind. The depression is all encompassing but it will go the same as it did before. Not so very long ago you were out walking, talking, enjoying the days. Those days will be back. Just keep on holding on, minute by minute, hour by hour. 

 

I would definitely put hospital out of your mind it is not a refuge it is an invitation to enjoy even more of these life enhancing drugs we are all so desperately trying to get out of our system. 

 

 

Ah thanks scorpio  your very kind .the irritation is fairly extreme[depression] and there's no hiding from it .I'm very scared .

I need to get  my genetic make up worked out  and try to help others not to go near these drugs with a similar code because its like acid to my cells .

Take care s, I appreciate your thoughts .