powerback Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 36 minutes ago, dj2010 said: I need monster sleeps in my life lol, hope you have had a nice walk, its been nice out there today, thanks buddy OOps sorry DJ I know you are iffy with your sleep.ye its a big contrast to last Wednesday [snow]. the previous night wasn't great ,extreme intrusive thoughts and rumination so it was a catch up sleep . Take care my friend . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted March 7, 2018 Share Posted March 7, 2018 4 minutes ago, powerback said: OOps sorry DJ I know you are iffy with your sleep.ye its a big contrast to last Wednesday [snow]. the previous night wasn't great ,extreme intrusive thoughts and rumination so it was a catch up sleep . Take care my friend . ive got some lavender spray which use when mind is racing and it seems to help a bit, it might be worth you trying some see if it helps calm your mind, cheers 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
powerback Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 1 minute ago, dj2010 said: ive got some lavender spray which use when mind is racing and it seems to help a bit, it might be worth you trying some see if it helps calm your mind, cheers Great thanks DJ I never heard of lavender for racing mind ,ye its very bad .I got very triggered today out for a walk, so when my strength has built back up I'm getting away from the town I live for a while ,its very hard for me running into old friends and getting drawn into conversations ,I cant blame them but being triggered like I do ,ile end up agoraphobic.i know its neuro ,but it creates trauma in me .I mite even talk to the missus and square getting away for a few weeks and visit my brother . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted March 7, 2018 Share Posted March 7, 2018 7 minutes ago, powerback said: Great thanks DJ I never heard of lavender for racing mind ,ye its very bad .I got very triggered today out for a walk, so when my strength has built back up I'm getting away from the town I live for a while ,its very hard for me running into old friends and getting drawn into conversations ,I cant blame them but being triggered like I do ,ile end up agoraphobic.i know its neuro ,but it creates trauma in me .I mite even talk to the missus and square getting away for a few weeks and visit my brother . sounds like a good idea PB, its nice to get away for a bit in fresh surroundings away from everyone, can totally relax then, im the same I hate walking into town as always see people I know and dont like them seeing me with black bags under eyes and ill, struggle with conversation a lot of the time also, ive often wanted to go and live in a forest somewhere in a wooden hut away from everything and relax in nature lol, yes its all neuro, its not the real you and you will be able to handle all this when this is all over, important dont end up agoraphobic, that would slow down your recovery, need to get out as much as can it will help you heal, 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
powerback Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 2 minutes ago, dj2010 said: sounds like a good idea PB, its nice to get away for a bit in fresh surroundings away from everyone, can totally relax then, im the same I hate walking into town as always see people I know and dont like them seeing me with black bags under eyes and ill, struggle with conversation a lot of the time also, ive often wanted to go and live in a forest somewhere in a wooden hut away from everything and relax in nature lol, yes its all neuro, its not the real you and you will be able to handle all this when this is all over, important dont end up agoraphobic, that would slow down your recovery, need to get out as much as can it will help you heal, Sound DJ thanks for your reply .I'm very aware my recovery is extremely slow and I should pull away from the site but my problem is after I had that trigger today ,the first thing I wanted was to get support from the site and members that could relate .what little self actualization I had seems to be worn away in this process .I sometimes worry about who is that pre drugged self . I now realise I need to do work on PTSD from the meds/withdrawl .I even found myself missing the numbing affect of the meds recently .Argh lol. I was siting in a spot up on a hike yesterday and people would never walk past.i sat there looking out at the ocean . I will eventually have to take a seat back from the site with a heavy hearth but there are many people I would like to keep in touch with .ive noticed I can see more newbies lately and that scares me of being a member in a very long protracted withdrawl . Take care DJ Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Kitson Posted March 7, 2018 Share Posted March 7, 2018 Ah PB I hope you don't leave us completely, I've come to appreciate you posting, I'd miss you for sure. At the same time I understand if you have to. Apr 09 2013 started taking 30mg Remeron Oct 10 2013 began tapering 27 mg Nov 07/ 24 mg Nov 27/ 22 mg Dec 20/ 20mg ***Stopped taper and reinstated back up to 30mg shortly afterwards due to the symptoms that I was taking Remeron for came back. The Exact Same symptoms. I wasn't willing to live through that again. 2nd attempt at tapering. Feb 20 2017/ 28 mg Mar 20/ 25 mg Apr 20/ 23 mg May 21/ 22mg June 21/ 21mg July 15/ 20mg Aug 5/ 19mg Aug22/18mg Oct 21/ 17 mg Nov 27/ 16 mg Dec 26/ 15mg Jan 27 2018/ 14mg Mar 1/ 13mg Mar 31/ 12 mg Apr 28/ 11mg May 27/ 10 mg July 7/ 9 mg Aug 4/ 8.1 mg Aug 31/ 7.2 mg Sept 29/ 6.3 mg Oct 28/ 5.6 mg Nov 26/ 5 mg Dec 25/ 4.5 mg 01/03/2020 .65 mg 03/11/20 - 0.36 mg- omg omw to being AD free! I also take 30mg Temazepam for sleep every night, Pulmicort 180mcg inhaler 2x/day for cough variant asthma, albuterol inhaler as needed, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, omega 3 fish oil, 400mg magnesium malate, potassium iodide, CBD oil 25 - 30mgs/day HOPE = Hold On, Pain Ends Link to comment
powerback Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 3 minutes ago, Kitson said: Ah PB I hope you don't leave us completely, I've come to appreciate you posting, I'd miss you for sure. At the same time I understand if you have to. Hi Kitson your very kind thanks ,you must be a glutton for punishment if you enjoy my posts . Ye I'm trying to work out the best situation for myself .ide never leave for good ,I love being a member .there's a big spot for members in my heart and I've made connections that ide like to sustain. Hope your well. Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Kitson Posted March 7, 2018 Share Posted March 7, 2018 6 minutes ago, powerback said: Hi Kitson your very kind thanks ,you must be a glutton for punishment if you enjoy my posts . Ye I'm trying to work out the best situation for myself .ide never leave for good ,I love being a member .there's a big spot for members in my heart and I've made connections that ide like to sustain. Hope your well. I don't enjoy your suffering for sure but I admire your tenacity in the face of your struggles. Underneath it all I can tell you are a good and kind hearted man and I wish you all the best. Apr 09 2013 started taking 30mg Remeron Oct 10 2013 began tapering 27 mg Nov 07/ 24 mg Nov 27/ 22 mg Dec 20/ 20mg ***Stopped taper and reinstated back up to 30mg shortly afterwards due to the symptoms that I was taking Remeron for came back. The Exact Same symptoms. I wasn't willing to live through that again. 2nd attempt at tapering. Feb 20 2017/ 28 mg Mar 20/ 25 mg Apr 20/ 23 mg May 21/ 22mg June 21/ 21mg July 15/ 20mg Aug 5/ 19mg Aug22/18mg Oct 21/ 17 mg Nov 27/ 16 mg Dec 26/ 15mg Jan 27 2018/ 14mg Mar 1/ 13mg Mar 31/ 12 mg Apr 28/ 11mg May 27/ 10 mg July 7/ 9 mg Aug 4/ 8.1 mg Aug 31/ 7.2 mg Sept 29/ 6.3 mg Oct 28/ 5.6 mg Nov 26/ 5 mg Dec 25/ 4.5 mg 01/03/2020 .65 mg 03/11/20 - 0.36 mg- omg omw to being AD free! I also take 30mg Temazepam for sleep every night, Pulmicort 180mcg inhaler 2x/day for cough variant asthma, albuterol inhaler as needed, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, omega 3 fish oil, 400mg magnesium malate, potassium iodide, CBD oil 25 - 30mgs/day HOPE = Hold On, Pain Ends Link to comment
powerback Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 2 minutes ago, Kitson said: I don't enjoy your suffering for sure but I admire your tenacity in the face of your struggles. Underneath it all I can tell you are a good and kind hearted man and I wish you all the best. Oh sorry Kitson,I wasnt implying you are personally getting joy from my suffering ,that's just a saying we have in Ireland [glutton for punishment ]. Ye I was listening to Eckhart tolle a good while before withdrawl and philosophy and phycology witch has helped give up a lot of material aspects to life and spend time on spirituality and understanding human nature . Very kind of you say ,ive definitely been swallowed by a demon in this process . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Kitson Posted March 7, 2018 Share Posted March 7, 2018 3 minutes ago, powerback said: Oh sorry Kitson,I wasnt implying you are personally getting joy from my suffering ,that's just a saying we have in Ireland [glutton for punishment ]. Ye I was listening to Eckhart tolle a good while before withdrawl and philosophy and phycology witch has helped give up a lot of material aspects to life and spend time on spirituality and understanding human nature . Very kind of you say ,ive definitely been swallowed by a demon in this process . Haha no worries I get your gallows humor (smile) I'm keeping you in my prayers. Apr 09 2013 started taking 30mg Remeron Oct 10 2013 began tapering 27 mg Nov 07/ 24 mg Nov 27/ 22 mg Dec 20/ 20mg ***Stopped taper and reinstated back up to 30mg shortly afterwards due to the symptoms that I was taking Remeron for came back. The Exact Same symptoms. I wasn't willing to live through that again. 2nd attempt at tapering. Feb 20 2017/ 28 mg Mar 20/ 25 mg Apr 20/ 23 mg May 21/ 22mg June 21/ 21mg July 15/ 20mg Aug 5/ 19mg Aug22/18mg Oct 21/ 17 mg Nov 27/ 16 mg Dec 26/ 15mg Jan 27 2018/ 14mg Mar 1/ 13mg Mar 31/ 12 mg Apr 28/ 11mg May 27/ 10 mg July 7/ 9 mg Aug 4/ 8.1 mg Aug 31/ 7.2 mg Sept 29/ 6.3 mg Oct 28/ 5.6 mg Nov 26/ 5 mg Dec 25/ 4.5 mg 01/03/2020 .65 mg 03/11/20 - 0.36 mg- omg omw to being AD free! I also take 30mg Temazepam for sleep every night, Pulmicort 180mcg inhaler 2x/day for cough variant asthma, albuterol inhaler as needed, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, omega 3 fish oil, 400mg magnesium malate, potassium iodide, CBD oil 25 - 30mgs/day HOPE = Hold On, Pain Ends Link to comment
powerback Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 7 minutes ago, Kitson said: Haha no worries I get your gallows humor (smile) I'm keeping you in my prayers. ye dark humour ,I like the term gallows Thank you .respect to you kitson . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
powerback Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 After a brutal winter of withdrawl and weather ,there was 2 sunny days in a row to enjoy so far this week ,time for some brucy . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Kitson Posted March 7, 2018 Share Posted March 7, 2018 27 minutes ago, powerback said: After a brutal winter of withdrawl and weather ,there was 2 sunny days in a row to enjoy so far this week ,time for some brucy . Bruce Springsteen reminds me of high school Apr 09 2013 started taking 30mg Remeron Oct 10 2013 began tapering 27 mg Nov 07/ 24 mg Nov 27/ 22 mg Dec 20/ 20mg ***Stopped taper and reinstated back up to 30mg shortly afterwards due to the symptoms that I was taking Remeron for came back. The Exact Same symptoms. I wasn't willing to live through that again. 2nd attempt at tapering. Feb 20 2017/ 28 mg Mar 20/ 25 mg Apr 20/ 23 mg May 21/ 22mg June 21/ 21mg July 15/ 20mg Aug 5/ 19mg Aug22/18mg Oct 21/ 17 mg Nov 27/ 16 mg Dec 26/ 15mg Jan 27 2018/ 14mg Mar 1/ 13mg Mar 31/ 12 mg Apr 28/ 11mg May 27/ 10 mg July 7/ 9 mg Aug 4/ 8.1 mg Aug 31/ 7.2 mg Sept 29/ 6.3 mg Oct 28/ 5.6 mg Nov 26/ 5 mg Dec 25/ 4.5 mg 01/03/2020 .65 mg 03/11/20 - 0.36 mg- omg omw to being AD free! I also take 30mg Temazepam for sleep every night, Pulmicort 180mcg inhaler 2x/day for cough variant asthma, albuterol inhaler as needed, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, omega 3 fish oil, 400mg magnesium malate, potassium iodide, CBD oil 25 - 30mgs/day HOPE = Hold On, Pain Ends Link to comment
powerback Posted March 7, 2018 Author Share Posted March 7, 2018 15 minutes ago, Kitson said: Bruce Springsteen reminds me of high school All good no doubt Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 12 hours ago, powerback said: Sound DJ thanks for your reply .I'm very aware my recovery is extremely slow and I should pull away from the site but my problem is after I had that trigger today ,the first thing I wanted was to get support from the site and members that could relate .what little self actualization I had seems to be worn away in this process .I sometimes worry about who is that pre drugged self . I now realise I need to do work on PTSD from the meds/withdrawl .I even found myself missing the numbing affect of the meds recently .Argh lol. I was siting in a spot up on a hike yesterday and people would never walk past.i sat there looking out at the ocean . I will eventually have to take a seat back from the site with a heavy hearth but there are many people I would like to keep in touch with .ive noticed I can see more newbies lately and that scares me of being a member in a very long protracted withdrawl . Take care DJ Hi PB, yeh recovery seems slow for us all, been 4 years now since I started trying to get off these meds that doctors said would have no problem stopping, I understand what you mean about pulling away from the site, it can become too consuming and after reading about the placebo effect and how reading about other people symptoms can bring them on yourself it might be a good idea to limit use when you are able to, dont worry much about your pre drugged self, you have learnt a lot of coping skills and learnt how to look after yourself so you will be much stronger than your pre drugged self, yeh when anxiety is bad it would be nice to have the numbing effect back temporarily, sounds lovely where you go hiking, apparently walking in nature has shown to lower cortisol levels so this will be very beneficial to healing, I live just outside of Blackpool by the ocean and walk down the prom every day, listening to the waves relaxes me, booked a week holiday to the lake district next month so looking forward to hiking in the hills, take good care 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
joy2730 Posted March 8, 2018 Share Posted March 8, 2018 monster sleep is brilliant, keep posting, I am loving your progress and learning a lot from you. I find afternoon sleeps the deepest, but I rarely get the chance to indulge, probably 2 a month, but I find the quality is much better. I am sure it is not recommended either as it will interrupt the diurnal cycle. Joy Jan 2023 to July 2023 250mg quetiapine Tapered off quetiapine again over 2 months - now weight problem Link to comment
powerback Posted March 8, 2018 Author Share Posted March 8, 2018 9 hours ago, dj2010 said: Hi PB, yeh recovery seems slow for us all, been 4 years now since I started trying to get off these meds that doctors said would have no problem stopping, I understand what you mean about pulling away from the site, it can become too consuming and after reading about the placebo effect and how reading about other people symptoms can bring them on yourself it might be a good idea to limit use when you are able to, dont worry much about your pre drugged self, you have learnt a lot of coping skills and learnt how to look after yourself so you will be much stronger than your pre drugged self, yeh when anxiety is bad it would be nice to have the numbing effect back temporarily, sounds lovely where you go hiking, apparently walking in nature has shown to lower cortisol levels so this will be very beneficial to healing, I live just outside of Blackpool by the ocean and walk down the prom every day, listening to the waves relaxes me, booked a week holiday to the lake district next month so looking forward to hiking in the hills, take good care Yep doctor said that to me also .ye its nice and there's a prom also ,big tourist area ,so coming into tourist season can be a bit overwhelming . Holiday sounds great ,enjoy DJ ,take care my friend . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
TikkiTikki Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Hi PB, just visiting your thread. Sending warm wishes and healing thoughts your way.... Celexa (Citalopram) 40mg - 60mg - 40mg for 7 years Tapered (over 3 months) drug-free Aug–Nov 2013 CRASH 40mg Dec 2013 – Jan 2017 (7 weeks reinstatement hell then relief) 2017: 20mg 30 Jan 18mg 19 April 16mg 6 May 14mg 20 May 12mg 10 Jun 10mg 7 July 9mg 7 Aug 8mg 16 Oct 7.5mg 27 Nov 2018: 7mg 8 Jan 6.5mg 12 Feb 6mg 17 Mar 5.2mg 14 Apr 5mg 28 Apr 4.8mg 4 Jun 4.6mg 23 Jun 4.4mg 24 Jul 4.2mg 13 Aug 4mg 20 Aug 3.8mg 1 Sep 3.6mg 28 Sep 3.4mg 14 Oct 3.2mg 11 Nov 3mg 5 Dec 5mg 26 Dec 10mg 28 Dec Added Valdoxan 25mg 12 Dec 2018 stopped 24 Jan 2019 Wellbutrin 150mg 25 Jan Link to comment
powerback Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 46 minutes ago, TikkiTikki said: Hi PB, just visiting your thread. Sending warm wishes and healing thoughts your way.... Ah thanks TT ,it means a lot your very kind ,I'm supposed to be on a self imposed baring order from the site but I've developed a connection with so many people it's hard for me not to check in ,it's my main support ,I nearly never speak about my issues outside of here .having a brutal morning but hey we keep on trucking.got loads of sun yesterday out on a walk ,which was nice after a very bad winter . I hope your well Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
joy2730 Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 PB Is there a compromise somewhere about your involvement with this board. Perhaps you could look and post fortnightly for a while - this would be my ideal but reading on here really helps me. I too never off load to anyone else. Joy Jan 2023 to July 2023 250mg quetiapine Tapered off quetiapine again over 2 months - now weight problem Link to comment
powerback Posted March 9, 2018 Author Share Posted March 9, 2018 1 hour ago, joy2730 said: PB Is there a compromise somewhere about your involvement with this board. Perhaps you could look and post fortnightly for a while - this would be my ideal but reading on here really helps me. I too never off load to anyone else. Joy Hi joy ,reading here helps you HOW[dark humour I'm a divel for it ] I cant claim all my triggers come from the site but looking at some members that are getting well and I'm getting worse is freaking me out ,looking out the window triggers me these days. I'm in the process of looking into finding a cave on airbnb [tongue in cheek ]. I'm too sick to travel and I'm worn out sitting around the house ,rock and a hard place I suppose .I'm in the process of trying to save my brother from him self but nothing is working ,I gave up a very unhealthy lifestyle before withdrawl and everything I've learned astonishes me .my brother is doing all the same and he's older .ile have to use some carl Rodgers with him and stick by him.[unconditional positive regard ].my mother has done it with me so I want to pass it on . I'm getting better at actually listening to others that talk about there "normal" problems because if I just follow there story with the trump card withdrawl ile be an outcast [not that I care ].the support from here has saved me from reaching out to people in my 3D circle.i can get annoyed though sometimes ,my uncle keeps at me about playing golf and I've told him ages ago my situation .I think they must wonder about me because one day ile work and others I rest most of the day . He must think I'm ignorant.he travels for work and wants me to visit and climb the local mountain range and I said its killing me inside that I cant .he's a lovely man ,we get on well . Hope your well joy . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Pb one day you will be climbing those mountains ⛰ xxx First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
powerback Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 13 minutes ago, pinkfairy said: Pb one day you will be climbing those mountains ⛰ xxx Thanks pink.ide gladly never look at another mountain if we were given the answers to this withdrawl mountain . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Pb in May 2016 I went to the Lake District & climbed to the higest peak up there...little did I know July 2016 I was about to be launched head first off that mountain while getting electrocuted on the way down ... This is like climbing a mountain with a cement suit on xxx First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
powerback Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 1 minute ago, pinkfairy said: Pb in May 2016 I went to the Lake District & climbed to the higest peak up there...little did I know July 2016 I was about to be launched head first off that mountain while getting electrocuted on the way down ... This is like climbing a mountain with a cement suit on xxx Kudos pink ,oops I don't want you to be thrown into a triggered wave with me bringing up memories ,hold on to that and believe you'll do it again someday with your son .I'm a fan of analogies and you have some good ones here .my body feels like its dragging that cement suit around for months ,you can have it back . The summer gone I was jogging for miles and climbing mountains ,maybe doing all that pushed me to be so sick since October [who knows ] ,I'm day dreaming quite often lately.. My biggest one the last few months is PTSD and wondering how I get out of this one ,worn out listening to ted talks on the subject while making dinner . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Pb I can’t get triggered no more as am in a constant ptsd state 24/7 no my friend you can keep it tell you what let share..when it gets to heavy for you,I will lift it from you while you rest! i heard a good quote the other day...when warriors go down on there knees,the battle isn’t over it’s just begun !! i can’t get back up lol am done in with habing my head phones in listening to louise hays stuff... Am in contact with baylissa a lot she’s a huge help just like the mods on here... never again will i I’ll I want to see a set of head phones urgh!! First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
powerback Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, pinkfairy said: Pb I can’t get triggered no more as am in a constant ptsd state 24/7 no my friend you can keep it tell you what let share..when it gets to heavy for you,I will lift it from you while you rest! i heard a good quote the other day...when warriors go down on there knees,the battle isn’t over it’s just begun !! i can’t get back up lol am done in with habing my head phones in listening to louise hays stuff... Am in contact with baylissa a lot she’s a huge help just like the mods on here... never again will i I’ll I want to see a set of head phones urgh!! That's great pink your in touch with baylissa ,a lovely member told me about her the other week and ive had a look at her website ,keep that contact without a doubt . take all the weapons away from that warrior and see how they do ,ok shut up PB that's beyond negative ,did I just type in the fourth person . Theres a lot of self help we really shouldn't be listening to while very sick ,I'm getting better at watching out for this [one of my addiction I think ]. I was looking at her appointments calendar.shes booked up for months . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 😂 that made me laugh (thank you) Thats like me,they CT me off stuff & took away my swords & then I face planted the floor & haven’t been able to stop licking the pavement since... No Pb,her calendar is all crossed out as she only works tuedays & Thursdays so look on them days...I booked one the other day & I get to talk to her this Thursday...She’s taken 9500 over to the finish line 🏁... we do have some giggles on the phone...she says my humour is awesome,I don’t know why because am always howling like a banshee to her...even she says am so hard myself it’s unreal..something I need to work on!i just cannot stand been disabled... Her wedsite is soothing as well xxx First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Ps Pb I do the same then trigger myself more trying to do self help...i need to stop that too xxx First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
powerback Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 6 minutes ago, pinkfairy said: 😂 that made me laugh (thank you) Thats like me,they CT me off stuff & took away my swords & then I face planted the floor & haven’t been able to stop licking the pavement since... No Pb,her calendar is all crossed out as she only works tuedays & Thursdays so look on them days...I booked one the other day & I get to talk to her this Thursday...She’s taken 9500 over to the finish line 🏁... we do have some giggles on the phone...she says my humour is awesome,I don’t know why because am always howling like a banshee to her...even she says am so hard myself it’s unreal..something I need to work on!i just cannot stand been disabled... Her wedsite is soothing as well xxx Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
powerback Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 OMG that's quite a number [9500]. Your welcome for the laugh . It just shows how addicted I am ,I just put on a tedtalk about ptsd and within 5 mins I was triggered .turn the dam thing off man . I've noticed your quite witty and good with writing myself . She must be made of serious stuff to give that much of herself but she wont be a celebrity in todays narc world were the Kardashians are put on pedestals. 80% of todays therapists need to be trained by folk like her . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 She gives all her time as she still suffers with dystonia (not WD related)she puts in so many hours etc she truly is & earth angel 👼 yes they do,she’s also a trained trauma theraspist too i think the mods are on here too angels & deserve the world oh oh my god my writing is that of a child,I don’t know where commas etc goes lol am thick as poo...I used to be so witty,I would have my friends in tears... now i I have no friends & have myself in tears (ironic don’t you think) plastic barbie family,there a mess if am honest....have always been one to fall in love with peoples souls not there appearance... pb I was doing the same listening to inner child one & had to stop,I keep thinking why do you do it to your self (nugget) First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
powerback Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 53 minutes ago, pinkfairy said: She gives all her time as she still suffers with dystonia (not WD related)she puts in so many hours etc she truly is & earth angel 👼 yes they do,she’s also a trained trauma theraspist too i think the mods are on here too angels & deserve the world oh oh my god my writing is that of a child,I don’t know where commas etc goes lol am thick as poo...I used to be so witty,I would have my friends in tears... now i I have no friends & have myself in tears (ironic don’t you think) plastic barbie family,there a mess if am honest....have always been one to fall in love with peoples souls not there appearance... pb I was doing the same listening to inner child one & had to stop,I keep thinking why do you do it to your self (nugget) plastic barbie family,there a mess if am honest....have always been one to fall in love with peoples souls not there appearance...? Forgive me pink ,I'm stumped with the above quote ,all me of course with my withdrawl brain . I question 90% of friendships I ever had and angry I bothered with most ,I have a few ile keep and hold on too but the rest i don't even want to look at and if I ignore them ile have to put up with there crap of why you ignoring me ,everything points for me to leave my world were I live but yet I stay ,I mite be a true masacist torturing myself . Pink I think your doing a good job with the crap deal you've been handed ,never give in worth it . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Sorry pb I ramble when am in a wave...I meant there appearances are just all fake & materialistic then i meant have never ever been one for looking at peoples appearances...lol am talking 💩 please ignore me,I have now no clue wth am going on about 😩 same here have been completely deserted by them...my best friend of 25 years gone just like that... i want to leave this town its to big of a trigger too many many happy memories for me here!feels like I don’t belong here any more...so I do hear you Thank you pb am trying but man am so terribly sick... your doing & awesome job too xxx First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
powerback Posted March 13, 2018 Author Share Posted March 13, 2018 2 minutes ago, pinkfairy said: Sorry pb I ramble when am in a wave...I meant there appearances are just all fake & materialistic then i meant have never ever been one for looking at peoples appearances...lol am talking 💩 please ignore me,I have now no clue wth am going on about 😩 same here have been completely deserted by them...my best friend of 25 years gone just like that... i want to leave this town its to big of a trigger too many many happy memories for me here!feels like I don’t belong here any more...so I do hear you Thank you pb am trying but man am so terribly sick... your doing & awesome job too xxx Ah I get you now , ,they sum up civilization really ,maybe it takes this horrible experience to humble us but its quite the joke . Thanks pink take care ,I'm exhausted ill bid you good night ,I better try find something to watch that doesn't trigger me but its impossible . Be safe . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
pinkfairy Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 Hope your managing pb xxx First AD when i was 19.Binge drinker/drugs 15 years weekend use.I was always pulled on and off.2005-2007-Mirtapine 45mg CT. 2010-2016 Paxil 40mg + Zopiclone.Jan-2016 i was CT off Paxil.Stopped alcohol Jan 2016.Given 2-4mg of Diazepam April 2016 CT them after 3 month.They reinstated 8mg of Diazepam July 2016 and the Doctor CT me off Zopiclone the same day.They then tried adding all different drugs Mirt one of them at 15mg (i took 7.5mg).I was tapered August 2016 7.5mg.Sep 2016 7mg.Oct 2016 6mg.Tried 1mg of Paxil-stopped after 2 days.Nov 2016 5.5mg.Tried olanzapine @2.5mg (stopped after a week)Dec 2016-5mg.Tried switching to liquid Jan-March 2017 (no good)back to pills.April 2017-4.75mg of Diazepam June 2017 -4.5mg.July 2018 went inpatient for 10 days.Awakening 4 days later.HELD.Sep 2017 4.3mg Dec 2017-4mg (Held)April 2019- started tapering the Mirtazapine.Sep 2019 at 6mg of Mirtazapine (HELD)Stopped smoking CT after 26 years.10.16.19..Restarted the Diazepam taper Jan 2020 micro tapering (game changer) now 18/7/23 @0.052mg Diazepam + Mirtazapine @6mg. Link to comment
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