powerback Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 Hi well the morning after the wedding and I want to be positive but my brain and system was so taxed with symptoms that I did dam well to get through the day but at what cost.being around a peer group is especially very hard when going through this . My raging critic is hijacking every thought and experience I find myself in . I'm sitn at breakfast and the drinkers up till 5am stroll in and say there plans for the day and I'm dying inside barely able to think straight . Dam these drugs have done a number on me ,I'm left with a personality disorder that can't see changing , atleast my socializing is finished for the foreseeable future. I so wish I would of had a window for this experience but hey I'le keep fighting and see what happens . More and more people are starting to wonder about me . One guy says when are next for marriage and I do everything to just give the jovial answer rather tell him the truth . And I just want to crawl in a cave and never come out until this is over. It doesn't help that I look the best I have for years down to my healthy eating and effort. The on switch of my constant thinking part of my brain seems to be stuck and doesn't allow for anything else. All this holding is doing nothing for me so it's time to taper no matter what I think and I'le just loose more than I have in the process to be free of this hell I live Ignore the video in this post ,I don't know how I got it into this post . Take care and I'm routing for everyone . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 3 hours ago, powerback said: Hi well the morning after the wedding and I want to be positive but my brain and system was so taxed with symptoms that I did dam well to get through the day but at what cost.being around a peer group is especially very hard when going through this . My raging critic is hijacking every thought and experience I find myself in . I'm sitn at breakfast and the drinkers up till 5am stroll in and say there plans for the day and I'm dying inside barely able to think straight . Dam these drugs have done a number on me ,I'm left with a personality disorder that can't see changing , atleast my socializing is finished for the foreseeable future. I so wish I would of had a window for this experience but hey I'le keep fighting and see what happens . More and more people are starting to wonder about me . One guy says when are next for marriage and I do everything to just give the jovial answer rather tell him the truth . And I just want to crawl in a cave and never come out until this is over. It doesn't help that I look the best I have for years down to my healthy eating and effort. The on switch of my constant thinking part of my brain seems to be stuck and doesn't allow for anything else. All this holding is doing nothing for me so it's time to taper no matter what I think and I'le just loose more than I have in the process to be free of this hell I live Ignore the video in this post ,I don't know how I got it into this post . Take care and I'm routing for everyone . Hi PB, sorry to hear this, try not to worry about what others are thinking, if it all gets too much then just leave, there is no point torturing yourself, you have done excellent by just turning up there, hope your day improves, 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
wantrelief Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Hi PB - I am sorry you are having a difficult time at the wedding festivities. I've had a hard time too socializing with peers so really understand. As DJ said, you have done an excellent job by just being there and trying.....give yourself huge credit for this. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
powerback Posted June 3, 2018 Author Share Posted June 3, 2018 Sound DJ and wantrelief thanks for your support ,the funny thing is no one would know to look at me the whole day .I did dam well but that's the end of anything now for the whole year ,there's a wedding in august to do with my partner and no way will I be going ,I'm simply too sick and if I ever finally get my taper moving again god knows what ile be like then . Our body's tell us what it wants and I wont be in a situation again that drives my critic insane,So the ego can f off and not bring me into a situation again that's very taxing . I did enjoy seeing some friends but the fact I was such a big wave made me realise ile be drained for days afterwards ,its done now and back to trying this ketosis and pray it helps symptoms. .off to gargle salt water I've a sore throat from all the shouting over the load music.very interesting watching this peer group still love there partying ,I'm no better than them of course but for me I'm delighted I'm away from it .give me a nice walking trail any day .there was a few of them quizzing me about my healthy lifestyle.one guy wants me to train with him but it I told him your wasting your time with eating and drinking like you do ,youl just ware your body out I told him .its as simple as cutting food and alcohol down. Thanks again and I hope yous are well . Total respect . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
peng Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 Nice to hear your determined thoughts continuing in the face of difficulty, pb. Well done! Almost amusing, really, that your peers are envying how you are looking good. Friends cannot see inside our souls of course. Our son may be getting married in Spain. As soon as I heard that last year, I thought "fcs, this is a tough situation for me". My first reaction as I currently have been feeling is to think I may not be going. He will be cool about it - he knows about me and understands. The bride's mother may be feeling the same as me, too, from what I know of her. Yes, it's tough going for us all, those kind of "normal" events, but keep going, pb. There is always the chance of some joy on the horizon. Like you, I look to music, the outdoors and natural world for enlightenment. Best wishes, peng. Born 1945. 1999 - First Effexor/Venlafaxine. 2016 Withdrawal research. Effexor. 13Jul - 212.5mg; 6Aug - 200.0mg; 24Aug - 187.5mg; 13Sep - 175.0mg; 3Oct - 162.5mg; 26Oct - 150mg 2017 9Jan - 150.00mg; 23Mar - 137.50mg; 24Apr - 125.00mg; 31May - 112.50mg holding; 3Sep - 100.00mg; 20Sep - 93.75mg; 20Oct - 87.5mg; 12Nov - 81.25mg; 13 Dec - 75.00mg 2018 18Jan - 69.1mg; 16Feb - 62.5mg; 16March - 57.5mg (-8%); 22Apr - 56.3mg(-2%); CRASHED - Updose 29May - 62.5mg; Updose - 1Jul - 75.0mg. Updose - 2Aug - 87.5mg. Updose - 27Aug - 100.0mg. Updose - 11Oct 112.5mg. Updose - 6Nov 125.00mg. 2019 Updoses 19 Jan - 150.0mg. 1April - 162.5mg. 24 April - Feeling better - doing tasks, getting outside. 7 May - usual depression questionnaire gives "probably no depression" result. Supps/Vits Omega 3; Chelated Magnesium; Prebiotics/Probiotics, Vit D3. Link to comment
powerback Posted June 3, 2018 Author Share Posted June 3, 2018 6 hours ago, peng said: Nice to hear your determined thoughts continuing in the face of difficulty, pb. Well done! Almost amusing, really, that your peers are envying how you are looking good. Friends cannot see inside our souls of course. Our son may be getting married in Spain. As soon as I heard that last year, I thought "fcs, this is a tough situation for me". My first reaction as I currently have been feeling is to think I may not be going. He will be cool about it - he knows about me and understands. The bride's mother may be feeling the same as me, too, from what I know of her. Yes, it's tough going for us all, those kind of "normal" events, but keep going, pb. There is always the chance of some joy on the horizon. Like you, I look to music, the outdoors and natural world for enlightenment. Best wishes, peng. Hi Peng ,you will have to elaborate on what "almost" amuses you about my difficulty .many times I'm close to loosing my mind and free will in this process and I'm not joking one bit about that. Now you can call me sensitive ,witch I am but that doesn't explain this open ended comment.we need to remember our history ,if we don't stick to very normal generic comments then we are left to wonder about motives . This peer group would laugh in my face if I told some off them what I've had to live with so envy is something most of them never have to live with ,let alone envious towards me . I'm finished being around 90% of them anyway. Most of there problems are were or many holidays to go on. You should try a skype online as a guest if you cant make it ,technology these days is amazing. Even maybe just the ceremony. Take care and enjoy your outdoors . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
peng Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 Hi, pb. Forgive me for not making myself clear. No way am I saying "almost amused about your difficulty". That is the last thing I would want to say to you. Best wishes for you, as always. Born 1945. 1999 - First Effexor/Venlafaxine. 2016 Withdrawal research. Effexor. 13Jul - 212.5mg; 6Aug - 200.0mg; 24Aug - 187.5mg; 13Sep - 175.0mg; 3Oct - 162.5mg; 26Oct - 150mg 2017 9Jan - 150.00mg; 23Mar - 137.50mg; 24Apr - 125.00mg; 31May - 112.50mg holding; 3Sep - 100.00mg; 20Sep - 93.75mg; 20Oct - 87.5mg; 12Nov - 81.25mg; 13 Dec - 75.00mg 2018 18Jan - 69.1mg; 16Feb - 62.5mg; 16March - 57.5mg (-8%); 22Apr - 56.3mg(-2%); CRASHED - Updose 29May - 62.5mg; Updose - 1Jul - 75.0mg. Updose - 2Aug - 87.5mg. Updose - 27Aug - 100.0mg. Updose - 11Oct 112.5mg. Updose - 6Nov 125.00mg. 2019 Updoses 19 Jan - 150.0mg. 1April - 162.5mg. 24 April - Feeling better - doing tasks, getting outside. 7 May - usual depression questionnaire gives "probably no depression" result. Supps/Vits Omega 3; Chelated Magnesium; Prebiotics/Probiotics, Vit D3. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 how are you doing buddy? hoping you have recovered from the wedding, 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 On 6/3/2018 at 11:34 PM, peng said: Hi, pb. Forgive me for not making myself clear. No way am I saying "almost amused about your difficulty". That is the last thing I would want to say to you. Best wishes for you, as always. Sound Peng ,your brave to come near my thread so it shows your decency. Take care . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 1 hour ago, dj2010 said: how are you doing buddy? hoping you have recovered from the wedding, I'm baffled why I'm so sick DJ .the longer its goes on the worse its getting ,I'm even debating hospital because of my SI . Looks like my relationship is finished ,she's lost patience .so I'm fretting were I can go .I'm too sick to stay in my parents. Total disaster but please keep yourself on track and live life to the full my friend . Take care . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 1 hour ago, powerback said: I'm baffled why I'm so sick DJ .the longer its goes on the worse its getting ,I'm even debating hospital because of my SI . this is worrying to hear PB, sounds like the drugs are continuing to poison you, might be worth speaking to a mod about whether holding is the way to go, if your feeling this bad then hospital might be a option if you really feeling like you could hurt yourself but need to be careful that they do not introduce any new drugs, is there any other face to face help you can get? any emergency therapists? 1 hour ago, powerback said: Looks like my relationship is finished ,she's lost patience .so I'm fretting were I can go .I'm too sick to stay in my parents. nightmare this is last thing that is needed but might be for the best so you can just concentrate on yourself for a while, I do not know the relationship with your parents but do not feel shame about asking to stay with them while you sort yourself, they can obviously see you are bettering yourself and now sober for a long time, it might be worth asking rather than panicking about where you will go to, its a shame there is no rehab clinic you could go to like there is with alcohol and other drugs, hopefully this will change in the future, im rooting for you, do not hesitate to contact me if needed, 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 I'm up were I walk sick to my stomach ,this is the last thing I need . Ide park a tent up here only I'm very vunerable. My father is too big of a trigger and ignorant to be near him like this . I'le sit up for the here for the day . Ide take a med if it helped me ,reducing would just make me worse, getting out of bed is better than not . Thanks DJ take care . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 59 minutes ago, powerback said: I'm up were I walk sick to my stomach ,this is the last thing I need . Ide park a tent up here only I'm very vunerable. My father is too big of a trigger and ignorant to be near him like this . I'le sit up for the here for the day . Ide take a med if it helped me ,reducing would just make me worse, getting out of bed is better than not . Thanks DJ take care . thats good that you have got out, hopefully the walk will clear your head, hope your day improves, contact me if needed take care 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
wantrelief Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 Hi PB - I am worried about you. I am wondering the same as DJ, if there is someone you can talk to in person for support. Please do what you need to do to keep yourself safe. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 38 minutes ago, wantrelief said: Hi PB - I am worried about you. I am wondering the same as DJ, if there is someone you can talk to in person for support. Please do what you need to do to keep yourself safe. I know myself WR thanks ,I've learned enough to not listen to it but the way she has turned has shocked me so im cut deep even without this happening so you can imagine . the wave with the wedding and this has my heart thumping .im trying not to freak out . I can go away for weeks if I have to on a walking holiday. Take care . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
wantrelief Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 5 minutes ago, powerback said: I know myself WR thanks ,I've learned enough to not listen to it but the way she has turned has shocked me so im cut deep even without this happening so you can imagine . the wave with the wedding and this has my heart thumping .im trying not to freak out . I can go away for weeks if I have to on a walking holiday. Take care . The wedding alone would be enough but now am so sorry to hear about your partner. That is good you have learned not to listen to those thoughts, PB. We are all here for you, you are not alone. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 16 minutes ago, wantrelief said: The wedding alone would be enough but now am so sorry to hear about your partner. That is good you have learned not to listen to those thoughts, PB. We are all here for you, you are not alone. Too much pain and agony to give up WR .I was listen to an old AA audio from youtube and a lady said this "I feel like I was born without emotional insulation ,strangers could look at me funny and it could hurt my feelings " very true ,I've just had this mayor while walking through my town.its not possible to live like this .its ridiculous. Ive made the mistake of being very honest and talking about my fears to her thus it has freaked her out . If I get so sick that the state lock me up because everyone around doesn't want to learn what happened they just want to ask stupid questions . Am I at the end of what's humanly possible to survive ,im definitely pushing it that's for sure . Ive just come from the DRs surgery over something and a simple conversation nearly went bad ,I said you could of emailed me that and she said sure then we have to email everyone .the face on her when I challenged her over being in the 21st century . Thanks WR it means a lot in this very dark time but I'm worth the effort and fight we all are . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted June 5, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 5, 2018 6 hours ago, powerback said: I'm baffled why I'm so sick DJ .the longer its goes on the worse its getting ,I'm even debating hospital because of my SI . Looks like my relationship is finished ,she's lost patience .so I'm fretting were I can go .I'm too sick to stay in my parents. Total disaster but please keep yourself on track and live life to the full my friend . Take care . Hi pb, My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you know how to deal with the SI, but maybe keep this near you in case you want to chat with the Samaritans? https://www.samaritans.org/your-community/samaritans-ireland-scotland-and-wales/samaritans-ireland I've chatted w/them before (in U.S.) and found them very, very helpful. Samaritans volunteers in Ireland: Call Freephone: 116 123 Text: 087 2 60 90 90 (standard text rates apply) Email: jo@samaritans.ie (RoI) Email: jo@samaritans.org (NI) Again, I know you know how to take care of yourself. Hour by hour, minute by minute if needed. Please let us know how you're doing later today, if possible. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 41 minutes ago, SkyBlue said: Hi pb, My heart goes out to you. It sounds like you know how to deal with the SI, but maybe keep this near you in case you want to chat with the Samaritans? https://www.samaritans.org/your-community/samaritans-ireland-scotland-and-wales/samaritans-ireland I've chatted w/them before (in U.S.) and found them very, very helpful. Samaritans volunteers in Ireland: Call Freephone: 116 123 Text: 087 2 60 90 90 (standard text rates apply) Email: jo@samaritans.ie (RoI) Email: jo@samaritans.org (NI) Again, I know you know how to take care of yourself. Hour by hour, minute by minute if needed. Please let us know how you're doing later today, if possible. Sound Thanks sky but I'm well aware its massive stress causing it, ile be ok even if every person I know walks away from me .I understand human beings don't have the capacity to cope with this amount/longevity of suffering . Sound thanks for your concern .ile keep on my path . I mite go back to AA for some 3D support because I'm dam proud I'm this far out from drink. Ile have ram dass on all day tomorrow lol. Ide never do anything,my niece needs me to look out for her. The support from my friends here means the world . Take care. Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 2 hours ago, dj2010 said: thats good that you have got out, hopefully the walk will clear your head, hope your day improves, contact me if needed take care October was the last time I was this sick so ile look for some tapping on YouTube to calm down .I was up there were I walk ,lifting boulders/rocks to get some training in 🙂 but I didn't have the energy so I didn't force it . I'm not totally out the door yet so ile see what happens 😣. Look I'm well aware people can freak out over other members difficulties so you must practice self preservassion first. Take care DJ . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted June 5, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 5, 2018 32 minutes ago, powerback said: Sound Thanks sky but I'm well aware its massive stress causing it, ile be ok even if every person I know walks away from me .I understand human beings don't have the capacity to cope with this amount/longevity of suffering . Sound thanks for your concern .ile keep on my path . I mite go back to AA for some 3D support because I'm dam proud I'm this far out from drink. Ile have ram dass on all day tomorrow lol. Ide never do anything,my niece needs me to look out for her. The support from my friends here means the world . Take care. You're very welcome. I can see the strength in you to endure this (for example, all of your strategies, and reminding yourself of the people that care about you and need you). It takes a very strong person. You can feel proud now for how far you've come (alcohol as well as these insidious psych drugs), and think of how proud you'll be once this immediate crisis passes, which it definitely will. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 Just now, SkyBlue said: You're very welcome. I can see the strength in you to endure this (for example, all of your strategies, and reminding yourself of the people that care about you and need you). It takes a very strong person. You can feel proud now for how far you've come (alcohol as well as these insidious psych drugs), and think of how proud you'll be once this immediate crisis passes, which it definitely will. Im doing some work on my inner critic also ,trying to understand it and cure it .I'm trying to practice humility but I had a bad time at the wedding with comparing myself to others 😣.withdrawl definitely takes the worst part of ourselves and beats us with it . I cant blame the women either so ide rather we come to a common ground and separate on good terms ,as I said to DJ im not out the door yet .Im terrified of loosing my free will and independence .I've always had a distain for certain authority and this process is pushing me towards it😡 . Sound Sky yous are great ,do you even realise this .Take care and be well always . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
direstraits Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 sorry to read it's so bad for you right now. you're in my thoughts. keep hanging in there. ds xx went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 12 minutes ago, direstraits said: sorry to read it's so bad for you right now. you're in my thoughts. keep hanging in there. ds xx Sound D your so kind ,it can only get better I suppose .I don't have the monopoly on suffering .I will keep at my healthier habits and keep pushing forward.I'm listening to some music to help. I hope your well I haven't been looking around lately .please offload if you like . Just in the last few minutes it looks like I'm ok for now with my partner. Be well and safe . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
direstraits Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 7 minutes ago, powerback said: Just in the last few minutes it looks like I'm ok for now with my partner. that's good to hear.☺️ I was feeling pretty good for awhile,really thought I was coming to the end of this cr#p,then got thrown back into it a few days ago. we just have to keep going ...we'll get there....sooner than later I hope. take care,ds xx went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 10 minutes ago, direstraits said: that's good to hear.☺️ I was feeling pretty good for awhile,really thought I was coming to the end of this cr#p,then got thrown back into it a few days ago. we just have to keep going ...we'll get there....sooner than later I hope. take care,ds xx ARGH that's so annoying D that you felt you were out the other end and it pulled you back in .you are healing that's for sure . never be silent our stories and suffering needs hearing that's for sure .Its just a blip .keep looking at diet and situations to see if they are causing any setback . If everyone bows to the critics there wont be change . Take care . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
wantrelief Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 2 hours ago, powerback said: I'm worth the effort and fight we all are Yes, PB! Hang in there, keep us posted how you are doing. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
powerback Posted June 5, 2018 Author Share Posted June 5, 2018 32 minutes ago, wantrelief said: Yes, PB! Hang in there, keep us posted how you are doing. Will do cheers WR . Take care . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted June 6, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 6, 2018 Hi PB, just catching up, don't seem to have time to turn around these days! I am so sorry that you may be splitting up with your partner, having to go through a relationship breakdown in withdrawal must be terrible. You did well to go to the wedding and stay through it, I can imagine how hard that was. I still can't cope with large gatherings, especially weddings. I hope your partner realises what a \lovely caring person you are and can see beyond the crushing symptoms of withdrawal. When I was first married to my now late husband, he would talk about some strong feelings and inclinations he had that I found disturbing. he never acted on them but I was unnerved by them. It was only when I joined here 30 years later that I learned about withdrawal and remembered that he had c/t'd benzos, he didn't need them now he was happily married. These drugs cause so much heatrtache and pain it is beyond criminal. I am glad that you feel among friends here, you are a valued member of our community. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
peng Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Just to say, thinking of you, pb. Born 1945. 1999 - First Effexor/Venlafaxine. 2016 Withdrawal research. Effexor. 13Jul - 212.5mg; 6Aug - 200.0mg; 24Aug - 187.5mg; 13Sep - 175.0mg; 3Oct - 162.5mg; 26Oct - 150mg 2017 9Jan - 150.00mg; 23Mar - 137.50mg; 24Apr - 125.00mg; 31May - 112.50mg holding; 3Sep - 100.00mg; 20Sep - 93.75mg; 20Oct - 87.5mg; 12Nov - 81.25mg; 13 Dec - 75.00mg 2018 18Jan - 69.1mg; 16Feb - 62.5mg; 16March - 57.5mg (-8%); 22Apr - 56.3mg(-2%); CRASHED - Updose 29May - 62.5mg; Updose - 1Jul - 75.0mg. Updose - 2Aug - 87.5mg. Updose - 27Aug - 100.0mg. Updose - 11Oct 112.5mg. Updose - 6Nov 125.00mg. 2019 Updoses 19 Jan - 150.0mg. 1April - 162.5mg. 24 April - Feeling better - doing tasks, getting outside. 7 May - usual depression questionnaire gives "probably no depression" result. Supps/Vits Omega 3; Chelated Magnesium; Prebiotics/Probiotics, Vit D3. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 16 hours ago, powerback said: October was the last time I was this sick so ile look for some tapping on YouTube to calm down .I was up there were I walk ,lifting boulders/rocks to get some training in 🙂 but I didn't have the energy so I didn't force it . I'm not totally out the door yet so ile see what happens 😣. Look I'm well aware people can freak out over other members difficulties so you must practice self preservassion first. Take care DJ . Hi PB, hoping you a are a bit better today and things are better with your partner 17 hours ago, powerback said: I can go away for weeks if I have to on a walking holiday. this sounds like a good plan and maybe whats needed, take care 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
powerback Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 2 hours ago, mammaP said: Hi PB, just catching up, don't seem to have time to turn around these days! I am so sorry that you may be splitting up with your partner, having to go through a relationship breakdown in withdrawal must be terrible. You did well to go to the wedding and stay through it, I can imagine how hard that was. I still can't cope with large gatherings, especially weddings. I hope your partner realises what a \lovely caring person you are and can see beyond the crushing symptoms of withdrawal. When I was first married to my now late husband, he would talk about some strong feelings and inclinations he had that I found disturbing. he never acted on them but I was unnerved by them. It was only when I joined here 30 years later that I learned about withdrawal and remembered that he had c/t'd benzos, he didn't need them now he was happily married. These drugs cause so much heatrtache and pain it is beyond criminal. I am glad that you feel among friends here, you are a valued member of our community. Hi MP your very kind to pop over and give a welcomed account of your own back round . IM crushed and I'm thrown back into similar feelings of being a child and rejected .its back on for now but the seed is sown so if I cant function as a human being what do I do I ask myself .im watching a seminar about Autoimmune conditions and the section about Alzheimer's has me shocked .ive all the symptoms and I'm crushed .My brain isn't allowing me to heal . I haven't got the funds to live alone so I'm terrified of ending up in the states hands ,ile never come back from what they do with people like me. I cant keep on this path of doing nothing ,I need to taper or go on something [of course ide rather not]. A simple task like putting a new floor down is impossible to get my head around [im in the building trade].my partners mother is a nightmare for finding things to do that never need doing. Now I know I'm under continuous observation from my partner has me stressed but I suppose I don't have the right to "hold her back". Ile keep going and keep finding new ways . I'm researching diet like my life depends on it. Take care MP and thanks for your kind words . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
powerback Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 1 hour ago, dj2010 said: Hi PB, hoping you a are a bit better today and things are better with your partner this sounds like a good plan and maybe whats needed, take care Hi DJ ,holding back the panic today .it would be a one step and sit down holiday rather than a walking holiday 😁. IM keeping on track with cutting carbs and maybe ile get ketosis adapted ,so much work to it .I think maybe that's why my brain is so tired. I'm waiting for my brain to wake and I'm off out into the sun for an hour ,not much walking . Thanks for your support ,you'll be busy with kids on the holidays ,there finished here but I think the UK is July . Be well and don't be rushing that marathon in your head .next year is loads of time . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
powerback Posted June 6, 2018 Author Share Posted June 6, 2018 1 hour ago, peng said: Just to say, thinking of you, pb. What do you mean just to say 😁.that's a joke at my expense at myself peng . Thanks your very kind . I'm still determined to get up Scotland for a hike . Hope your well and making the most of the sun . Take care . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
dj2010 Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 36 minutes ago, powerback said: Hi DJ ,holding back the panic today .it would be a one step and sit down holiday rather than a walking holiday 😁. IM keeping on track with cutting carbs and maybe ile get ketosis adapted ,so much work to it .I think maybe that's why my brain is so tired. I'm waiting for my brain to wake and I'm off out into the sun for an hour ,not much walking . Thanks for your support ,you'll be busy with kids on the holidays ,there finished here but I think the UK is July . Be well and don't be rushing that marathon in your head .next year is loads of time . be careful with the keto, don't want to stress your body any more, its a very tough diet, seeing quite a lot of negative article about it recently but these may be coming from doctors etc, its difficult deciding which articles and people to believe these days, heading out soon myself as not had a walk yet today, missed morning walk as daughter had blood test yeh kids off late July so preparing for chaos, probably put them in a holiday club for a few days a week, no not rushing the marathon at moment, still only doing light jogging but only just started again after them few bad weeks had, hope you get a nice walk in the sun today 2001 - 2005 prozac, 2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex, 2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel, 2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel 2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds, 2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit, supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder, melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/ Link to comment
Junglechicken Posted June 6, 2018 Share Posted June 6, 2018 Hi PB, Just caught up with your thread, and see you're in a really bad place - your partner thinking about walking away and experiencing SI at that wedding. I can tell you to "hang in there" and all that "stuff".......you probably don't feel like hearing it so I'll lay off. You're not alone in your suffering, I'm not in a good place myself. Sending you hugs and thinking of you. JC xx Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD). Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal. Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy. Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum. "Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals. Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions). Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking. Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO. April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol. 25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L). Symptoms: Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing). **Histhamine intolerance (suspected). Major Life Events: Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016 My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs) Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018 "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018 Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome Link to comment
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