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powerback: tapering no 2

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powerback

Has anyone got the solution to the bomb going off in my  head and taper doesn't start  till next week :unsure:

we have to be the strongest people on the planet surely .

PB

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ShakeyJerr
6 minutes ago, powerback said:

Has anyone got the solution to the bomb going off in my  head and taper doesn't start  till next week :unsure:

we have to be the strongest people on the planet surely .

PB

 

For me, when the bomb is going off, a prayer walk helps calm me down. And let the tears flow.

 

SJ

 

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powerback

Bloods came back today after I rang for them ,everything perfect ,accepted with a pinch of salt .as I write this I'm in a massive panic attack ,adrenalin pumping through me ,but I breath deeply and let it run its course as I've  learned . I'm siting down relaxing so I don't have to worry about the tiredness from it .I've noticed a while now my sense are off the scale and causing discomfort and distress .

 

my living arrangements are far from ideal [I cant control my environment ] and this throws up the problem of tapering ,how do I taper when I need peace and quiet ,because we all know the world doesn't stop because the pain we all suffer ,if only they knew .

but I will have to think outside the box on were I'm going to live ,because nothing is more serious than getting off this poison and sadly as much as I have good support no one listened  to me last year about learning what it takes so I has caused serious problems and issues . I will admit it does take a lot of patience living with someone going through this .

 

 I have my starter kefir grains coming in a few days ,looking forward to that .get stuck into a healthy hobby and cant wait for all those probiotic bacteria to start working .any how thanks for the rant :D.

peace to every single person on this site ,it will come we just never give up .

PB

 

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ShakeyJerr
7 minutes ago, powerback said:

Bloods came back today after I rang for them ,everything perfect

 

Right on! Focus on this positive!

 

SJ

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powerback
Just now, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Right on! Focus on this positive!

 

SJ

ye exactly, ile need to move from were I'm living to give myself the best chance of recovery but I wont  make any rash decisions but I at least have to make one soon ;)

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powerback

window tonight .can never really turn my ruminating off but ile take this window .keep the strength everyone .

PB

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joy2730

This reply is a bit of wild card, but I am assuming one of the reasons people use meditation is that it could stop or help to stop ruminating thoughts?  I have never had a lot of success with meditation but I think that is because I have never really committed to it, but I can see how it might help as you are meant to be able to push thoughts away from your mind?

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powerback

hi joy ye I'm like yourself ,the commitment that's needed ,I'm back to my reality today massive brain fatigue and headaches ,its so uncomfortable, there  must be inflammation going on ,I'm hoping when I make my kefir I will see improvements .

 

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powerback

here we go again with my third attempt at a taper ,ive just taken one tiny bead out but its a start ,thanks to everyone on the site and jamess podcast to give me the confidence

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ShakeyJerr
1 hour ago, powerback said:

here we go again with my third attempt at a taper ,ive just taken one tiny bead out but its a start ,thanks to everyone on the site and jamess podcast to give me the confidence

 

Praying for you, bro!

 

SJ

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powerback
11 hours ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Praying for you, bro!

 

SJ

thank SJ I'm going to need it .

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DaveWales

Hi powerback, ive read your complete thread and it seems we are at the same sort of point. Im on paxil tho. Please keep me updated with your progress. Cheers

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powerback
8 hours ago, DaveWales said:

Hi powerback, ive read your complete thread and it seems we are at the same sort of point. Im on paxil tho. Please keep me updated with your progress. Cheers

hi davewales ,I will indeed ,I'm on day 5 of a micro taper ,its a very busy week with loads of distraction [family gathering ],so loads of mindfulness and thinking my negative though pattern out ,my healthy eating has slipped a bit but ile stay on track ,my sister home from the other side of the world so I'm enjoying talking to her and  helping  her understand her own issues .

take care and keep up the fight

PB

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DaveWales
4 hours ago, powerback said:

hi davewales ,I will indeed ,I'm on day 5 of .....

Great, glad youve started. Good luck pal. Maybe, i was reading something the other day thats similar, we could be "buddies" and maybe share a weekly text chat or skype or something. I promise you i'm very normal, happy, optomistic chap when not going through this!! I see ur in Ireland, im in Wales.  But was in Ireland the other week in the far south. Anyway, good luck pal! I wish you the best! 

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powerback
6 hours ago, DaveWales said:

Great, glad youve started. Good luck pal. Maybe, i was reading something the other day thats similar, we could be "buddies" and maybe share a weekly text chat or skype or something. I promise you i'm very normal, happy, optomistic chap when not going through this!! I see ur in Ireland, im in Wales.  But was in Ireland the other week in the far south. Anyway, good luck pal! I wish you the best! 

thanks for the encouragement and support Dave,ile always be checking in here so catch me here no bother ,I keep myself very low key for now ,especially for the next 12months in this taper .private message me if u have a question no bother ,hope you doing ok yourself .

PB

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powerback

hi folks, I have my kefir stewing away cant wait to get drinking it ,no pressure kefir on sorting everything :D.hopefully In  a few weeks there will be benefits to report .

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powerback

update .family function in a few hours and of course I'm in a wave ,why would it be any other way .

I'm a week taking one tiny bead out a day and I'm feeling the affect ,ile have to think every single question put to me by the usual nosey family and aquintices's because I can snap so easily . .the old me  be would be drinking pints by now to stem the anxiety but I'm so glad them days are over because I can look forward to walk tomorrow instead of a hangover .I'm even thinking in my head were ile sit because one persons perfume makes me sick .I'm that sensitive :o:D

thanks for the vent .

Take care and stay strong

PB

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powerback

Family function was great in the end ,very tired even a guest said it to me ,but I interacted and took part and proud of myself ,I had strong anxiety and self conscious but the mindfulness helped and its a must to take part in normal life when we can and even force ourselves ,we got to fight and never give up.

PB

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ShakeyJerr
15 hours ago, powerback said:

Family function was great in the end ,very tired even a guest said it to me ,but I interacted and took part and proud of myself ,I had strong anxiety and self conscious but the mindfulness helped and its a must to take part in normal life when we can and even force ourselves ,we got to fight and never give up.

PB

 

Victory!

 

SJ

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powerback

Exactly SJ ,it took a lot of work for first hour ,everyone drinking around me but even in withdrawal I functioned better than some of the hangovers I seen :)

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powerback

Doing a cathartic tidying up today and I found the letter my GP wrote out for the hospital he wanted to send me to while prescribing Zyprexa also [I never took] ,its the first time I've read the letter .

Quote: worse anxiety since upping Effexor 75mg from 37.5 ..nothing said here about going from 75mg to 37.5mg witch caused the problem.

Anyway the point I want to make is that I'm still here and alive and yes I have had challenges  and will have many more but the system will only ever change when its ideas are being challenged .

It is extremely toxic being treated like cattle and not human beings ,if I ever do need a rest if things get bad ,the last place ide ever go is one of these hospitals .

I hope this can help someone that's in any kind of situation .

I must add that no one should take my situation as what to do always consult knowledgeable professionals and I am not criticising anyone that has got relief either from hospitals .the best thing we can do is inform ourselves with as much knowledge as possible and make an informed decision .

PB

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powerback

today I just want to be on the moon surely there wouldn't be triggers there :huh:,got out for long walk ran into someone and it just reminded me of last year and working fulltime ,I look great I was told ,I didn't even bother saying anything ,I'm getting better at not jumping to explain my situation ,much better that way .mood disorders are horrendous to live  with .

I'm glad I got out for a walk is the main thing ,beautiful day .I beg anyone you got to get off the couch .a simple act of taking a picture for people today when they asked me ,made me feel human .

I'm watching videos on living with anxiety and face the fear and move through it but as a lot of you know its very unnerving ,I hiked up a new way today and got myself in a bit of a pickle but I rested and pushed on ,nice sense of achievement through torn bushes :D.anxiety off the scale today but better for the walk ,surely the small glass of kefir isn't the culprit ,cant tell so ile push on with it .

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powerback

4 hours after taking Effexor 37.5 [I've always had venlafaxine ].im feeling mild brain zaps and extreme headaches/ extreme brain fatigue  .be calm and collected when I go up to chemist and demand a change .these are the same they said ,ye right clueless legal drug pushers .

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powerback

like a light switch with extreme rage ,come on mindfulness and breathing kick in please :(

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powerback

WARNING ,let me be an example ,do not mess around with your drugs if your still taking them like me [micro taper ],i was given effexor instead of venlafaxine 2 days ago and I am in an awful state I wont trigger anyone with symptoms but yous can imagine  exactly what I'm going through .I got the generic I was always on today. ,chemist little help [the usual nonsense ,there no different ].

I hope I settle tomorrow ,I dream of the peace that comes our way .

PB

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powerback

enjoying some music tonight .lyrics from pink ide like to quote: change the voices in your head ,make them like you instead ..this takes practice we got to do it

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miT

Don't fight the voice in your head. Or in lyrics:

"We don't bleed when we don't fight"

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powerback
5 minutes ago, miT said:

Don't fight the voice in your head. Or in lyrics:

"We don't bleed when we don't fight"

True MiT  thanks .you keeping well I hope

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miT

Had a nice window yesterday. Best day in years.

Stay on your path, pb.

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powerback

of course this is trivial ,but often when I sign out of my account ,ile go back to the site and it hasn't signed out as if the signing out not working ,no big deal ,does anyone get the same thing ,and yes I do feel silly for posting this :D.

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powerback

I must say this mornings waking  anxiety and panic is extraordinary ,its absolutely impossible

I'm only taking one bead out [on week 3] ,I'm so tempted to just stop taking them because these symptoms are so bad and I cant up dose and don't want to either ,I'm just so dam angry this morning this is my reality I could scream .

 

I cant go for a jog to run the stress off because I now realise this was making me worse in the long run [no pun intended ]:D

 

.all I want to do is pack up and live on top of a mountain because walking around my town is just a nightmare ,full of triggers and its like having 10 bullies living inside your head as well ,I curse the day I walked into that doctors office about my peeing .

 

being honest I wonder if bad eating that has crept back in the last few weeks made it this bad ,note to self ,please stop crap eating please .

I even wonder if the healthy eating is affecting me .

I suppose I just keeping going but dam its hard .

PB

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powerback

todays symptoms ; extreme anxiety /uncontrollable snapping ,depression /suicide thoughts /fatigue /muscle tightness and knots/noise sensitivity /irritability/headaches /heart palpitations /anhedonia /paranoia /can feel the brain in flamed .

what in the world do I do folks.im hanging on by a thread ,ile be surprised if my relationship  survives it ,I'm pretty sure she is just feeling obliged at this stage to stay around .confident I've tried my best though .

absolute unmanageable suffering .

 

not even 20 days of one bead out ,come on like .please save anyone you know from my mistakes .

 

thanks doctor I mite look fine but my brain is a car crash and on the brink for months .

 

everyone that is making a life and getting on with life while going through this ,good on ye .

I'm afraid my faith isn't looking that way .

Breath now PB

Thanks for letting me vent folks it was needd

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miT

Feel it feel it feel it. Don't resist the madness!

 

Btw nobody here knows what tomorrow will bring. I get on with life today, I fall tomorrow. Then I get up again.

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Lexy

Power back 

if you are as sensitive as I am one less bead will give you wds.  I've been tapering for so long that I thought I would never be able to get to this dose (6.5mg) 

My taper process is that I weigh the pill in.

i weighed 5-7 pills of the 37.5mh pill took an average.  Then started doing a micro taper.  I have felt everything you mention. I would read other people getting better and wondering when will it be my time?? 

My sxs have become less intense but that doesn't take me out of the woods.  I need to stay the course. 

If i can do this so can you.

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powerback
11 hours ago, Lexy said:

Power back 

if you are as sensitive as I am one less bead will give you wds.  I've been tapering for so long that I thought I would never be able to get to this dose (6.5mg) 

My taper process is that I weigh the pill in.

i weighed 5-7 pills of the 37.5mh pill took an average.  Then started doing a micro taper.  I have felt everything you mention. I would read other people getting better and wondering when will it be my time?? 

My sxs have become less intense but that doesn't take me out of the woods.  I need to stay the course. 

If i can do this so can you.

hi lexy thanks for your insight and encouragement .its getting to the point I cant be around people ,its almost like turrets ,I snapped yesterday at my partner and it was instantaneous ,I cant do this in the wider world .I think I realise what's behind it though ,she was asking me about something trivial and I hadn't the patience because in my mind I'm saying ,look at me what I'm having to cope with and she asking about "normal things ".

 

I don't think ile get stable until off them so here we go strap yourself in as the man says at the fun park:huh:]

I have beads and the scales I have wont pick up the weight of one ,so I'm just going to take more out as I go along .

wishing you so much peace and happiness we all deserve it .

PB

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powerback
11 hours ago, miT said:

Feel it feel it feel it. Don't resist the madness!

 

Btw nobody here knows what tomorrow will bring. I get on with life today, I fall tomorrow. Then I get up again.

Hi MiT thanks for checking in its appreciated .its funny even my dreams are full of doubt and anxiety last night  .;)

I cant wait for what  life holds in the future for all us amazing people that have to suffer the intolerable .

Its my birthday today so I'm getting out there in sun and enjoy it .

Take care miT and I wish you peace .

PB

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