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Aissela

Aissela Back to life.

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Aissela   
Aissela

Hi all, I'm 24 from Italy and I'm sorry for my English, I'll do my best. I want to share my story because I think this could give hope to other people.

 

I've been on fluvoxamine for six months in 2013 and stopped in the early 2014 and after a months my first withdrawal started. At that time I didn't know anything about withdrawal and my doctor told me I was bipolar. So, after three months of strange symptoms, he decided to put me on Paxil. The symptoms subsided very quickly and I took Paxil till February 2015 and again, after a months with no med, I had my second withdrawal. But this time fortunately I found this forum and i've been able to understand what was happening to my body. I said good bye to my doctor and I started my healing process alone.

 

I had a classical withdrawal with the pattern of windows and waves and all those symptoms morphing month by month: Panick attacks, DP/DR, anhedonia, weight loss, couldn't go out, memory loss, mood swings, sensation of burning brain, no libido, insomnia but also lethargy, light sensitivity and so on...The first year I've been like a vegetable, in my bedroom all the day, unable to function and also to empathize with my family or my dog. But I have to say that my first window started very soon, maybe after three months in the withdrawal and I've seen a lots of improvement also during the first year. Slowly the windows have become frequent and longer while the waves have become less intense and shorter. Anyway i'm not able to tell you specifically how my symptoms have changed every month because I can't remember and frankly, I prefer to forget it. All I can say is that during the second year my emotions started to came back and the panic attacks subsided completely, but i've seen also a constant improvement of all the other symptoms.

 

Now I'm on month 23 and I can go out when I want, I'm doing sport, I have my sexuality back, I can empathize with people, I'm sleeping very well. I can hit a short wave every two or three months, especially after a stressful period. It last one or two weeks and generally my only symptoms are extreme tiredness, fatigue and low moods. Of course I'm not completely recovered but I'm also doing a very slow benzo's taper and I'm sure that part of my residual symptoms are from it.

 

So, all I want to tell you is that there is hope. It is a long and painful process but as I've seen, the brain is really able to heal itself and time will adjust everything.

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Hibari   
Hibari

Thank you for posting and great to hear about your healing.   I was just thinking how tired I was today and it was validating to read that part of your process has been extreme fatigue.

 

Wishing you continued healing and success with your benzo taper.

 

Hibari

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bhasski   
bhasski

Wish you very best and healthy future.

Can you tell if any sort of supplements help you as I am going through severe insomnia , fatigue, low blood pressure, apathy etc.

 

Its been 13 months that i left paxil and overall 10 months of any psych meds..

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DrugfreeProf   
DrugfreeProf

Thank you so much for sharing that good news about your recovery. It confirms what all of us are hoping for and believe will happen--that the windows will become longer and more frequent, and the waves shorter and more infrequent. Slowly but surely, improvement seems to come.

I will say again--my own philosophy is that, in withdrawal, measure progress in thimble-fulls not in measuring cups.

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LexAnger   
LexAnger

Thank you so much aissela for sharing your healing progress and success recovery! It gives hope and strength to So many of us here to continue the battle!

 

How was your congnitive function during the WD?

 

Wish you all the best and continuous and speedy healing!

 

Lex

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Aissela   
Aissela

Hi Lexanger, thank you for the reply. I think I had a lot of cognitive problems. My memory first, then my brain was very slow in processing the information. I wasn't able to think clearly and to speak properly. I've lost my sense of humor and it was surely linked to my temporary "stupidity" . I also had and partially have, some problems with the inhibition and other behavioral abnormalities. Especially in the interaction with people. Something in the ability to understand others and to be understood is not working, but I don't know how to explain it. The I had problems with my eyes, it was like to look at the world in low definition.

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LexAnger   
LexAnger

Aessela,

 

You are so kind to take time helping out!

 

I am so familiar with what you described and still experiencing them everyday. Are those all gone now? When did you start getting back your congnitive thinking back to normal?

 

Best wishes,

Lex

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Aissela   
Aissela

LexAnger,

 

helping people in wd is a pleasure and a duty for me. Anyway, I started to see cognitive improvements on month 5/6 but it is very hard to remember every step of the process. I think you know how it works, you can have a new symptom on month 9 and then it just disappear. All I can say is that I had constant and gradual progress, especially in the second year. Now I have my sense of humor back, my brain is doing well but not as It was before. I think is 70/80%. But as I told you, I'm tapering my benzos and getting symptoms from it, mainly cognitives. So, I'm not completely recovered but this is not entirely related to the WD.

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raven530   
raven530

Wow you seem to have had my exact symptoms. I'm a year into withdrawal from Sertraline, an I am functioning better cognitively but haven't seen much improvement in libido or anhedonia. Your post gives me hope. Did you have any problems with imagination?

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powerback   
powerback

Well done on your recovery aissela .I have many of the same symptoms as u do

I said good by to my doctor  ,I love that bit of your post .I believe this was a huge positive change for myself ,getting away from my doctor and taking my power back ,I'm a long way from 0 drugs [on 37.5 at the moment].

knowledge is power,i wish for everyone on this site to read or listen and learn everything about there situation it can only help and empower them .

thanks for sharing .

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LexAnger   
LexAnger

Thank you again aissela for responding to my questions!

It gives me hope too. My congnitive problem is the most worrisome symptom of all, even the others are lots more tourturing.

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Aissela   
Aissela

To Raven530:

what do you mean exactly with "problems with imagination"?

 

To Madeline:

If you're referring about the Paxil taper, I did it in one month.

 

To LexAnger:

I'm really sorry for your situation, I would like to help you but I can't. The only think that I can tell you is that there's hope and I'm the proof, I'm sure it will get better for you too. Anyway, how long have you been in the WD? Which kind of cognitive symptom are you experimenting?

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raven530   
raven530

Troubles with visualisation, like I used to have vivid immersive daydreams nonstop, but now when I try to even picture an every day object like an apple in my mind it's blurry

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Deise   
Deise

Hi Aissela :)

 

I am relatively close to you since I am from Portugal and I am taking fluvoxamine.

Did you also have anhedonia while on the meds or just withdrawal?

That is what bothers me most but I am still taking fluvoxamine. I sometimes can't feel anything for anyone and no purpose because of the lack of emotions.

 

Glad you recovered :)

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Aissela   
Aissela

Hi Deise,

 

thank you for the reply.

I didn't have anhedonia when I was taking the fluvoxamine, but my personality was really changed. Infact I had bipolar hypomania and lack of appetite. I was very angry and couldn't spleep. My anhedonia stated only during WD.

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theloneranger86   
theloneranger86

Hi all, I'm 24 from Italy and I'm sorry for my English, I'll do my best. I want to share my story because I think this could give hope to other people.

 

I've been on fluvoxamine for six months in 2013 and stopped in the early 2014 and after a months my first withdrawal started. At that time I didn't know anything about withdrawal and my doctor told me I was bipolar. So, after three months of strange symptoms, he decided to put me on Paxil. The symptoms subsided very quickly and I took Paxil till February 2015 and again, after a months with no med, I had my second withdrawal. But this time fortunately I found this forum and i've been able to understand what was happening to my body. I said good bye to my doctor and I started my healing process alone.

 

I had a classical withdrawal with the pattern of windows and waves and all those symptoms morphing month by month: Panick attacks, DP/DR, anhedonia, weight loss, couldn't go out, memory loss, mood swings, sensation of burning brain, no libido, insomnia but also lethargy, light sensitivity and so on...The first year I've been like a vegetable, in my bedroom all the day, unable to function and also to empathize with my family or my dog. But I have to say that my first window started very soon, maybe after three months in the withdrawal and I've seen a lots of improvement also during the first year. Slowly the windows have become frequent and longer while the waves have become less intense and shorter. Anyway i'm not able to tell you specifically how my symptoms have changed every month because I can't remember and frankly, I prefer to forget it. All I can say is that during the second year my emotions started to came back and the panic attacks subsided completely, but i've seen also a constant improvement of all the other symptoms.

 

Now I'm on month 23 and I can go out when I want, I'm doing sport, I have my sexuality back, I can empathize with people, I'm sleeping very well. I can hit a short wave every two or three months, especially after a stressful period. It last one or two weeks and generally my only symptoms are extreme tiredness, fatigue and low moods. Of course I'm not completely recovered but I'm also doing a very slow benzo's taper and I'm sure that part of my residual symptoms are from it.

 

So, all I want to tell you is that there is hope. It is a long and painful process but as I've seen, the brain is really able to heal itself and time will adjust everything.

hey 

So happy to hear about someone recovering. Just a question on how things began to come back . Say for example sexuality, did it return overnight or were there gradual improvements over time  ?

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Aissela   
Aissela

Hi theloneranger86,

everything has come back very gradually, emotions, sexuality, energy ecc...Even now that I'm recovered, I can see new little improvements month by month.

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Aissela   
Aissela

To Raven539

 

Maybe my imagination/visualization was compromised, but not as your and surely it wasn't my main concern.

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