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Aeroman Haven't Logged in for awhile - I have recovered from Lexapro and Cipro

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Hello All, it's been a long time since I have logged in here and posted.  My story is located here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7761-%E2%98%BC-aeroman-hello-from-aeroman/?st=0

 

I have been good, fully recovered from Lexapro and Cipro use.  I don't think about withdrawal anymore.  The answer was TIME and GOD in both cases.  For those that are new to withdrawal, don't fret, you will be OK.  I know the beginning months are scary but it won't last forever.  Feel free to ask me questions as I am sure you will have many..especially doubts within yourself.

 

Aeroman

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dini84   
dini84

I so needed to read your post today! I did not know about SA while tapering of Sertraline the first time, or while experiencing the WD symptoms after fast taper, and never knew about SA during my reinstatement of Sertraline, and was going off my doctor's advice as far as tapering and titrating this whole time, and so today I feel like a complete mess. He had me jumping around in doses (trying to "find your sweet spot" as he so grinningly worded it) and so now I feel like it's taken a huge toll on my body. I am going through another massive wave, and I feel exhausted, cannot concentrate, restless, anxious, you name the symptom I have it and have had it for almost a week now and feels like it will never end or get better. Prior to this, while still on 57mg before my doc had me try tapering last week, I was feeling better. I was finally feeling some emotion after having the apathy for so long. But now I am back to square one. I hate being on this stuff, and today especially feels like it's never going to get better.

 

But I read your story and feel more positive in knowing this too shall pass. Thanks for your update! It will help tons of people like it did me. :)

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

I so needed to read your post today! I did not know about SA while tapering of Sertraline the first time, or while experiencing the WD symptoms after fast taper, and never knew about SA during my reinstatement of Sertraline, and was going off my doctor's advice as far as tapering and titrating this whole time, and so today I feel like a complete mess. He had me jumping around in doses (trying to "find your sweet spot" as he so grinningly worded it) and so now I feel like it's taken a huge toll on my body. I am going through another massive wave, and I feel exhausted, cannot concentrate, restless, anxious, you name the symptom I have it and have had it for almost a week now and feels like it will never end or get better. Prior to this, while still on 57mg before my doc had me try tapering last week, I was feeling better. I was finally feeling some emotion after having the apathy for so long. But now I am back to square one. I hate being on this stuff, and today especially feels like it's never going to get better.

 

But I read your story and feel more positive in knowing this too shall pass. Thanks for your update! It will help tons of people like it did me. :)

what you described was EXACTLY like me, in 2008.  On Feb 27, 2008, I took the last dose of Lexapro after a 1-month fast taper per the doctor's order.  At day 3, I felt moody.  At Day 5, I felt nauseous, moody, dizzy.  That lasted for 3 or so months.  I called that Phase I.

 

Phase II kicked in around month 4ish.  It was very distinct from Phase I.  What did I feel you ask?  

 

- through the roof anxiety

- crippling depression (worst than the original issue)

- insomnia

- weight loss

- restlessness

- 4am wake up call (if I slept)

- racing thoughts

- head fog; depersonalization

- existing, not living.

 

Around Month 12, I felt a bunch of relief but I was left with anhedonia.  After awhile, it all got better.  I would tell folks that I felt like I was in a waiting room waiting for my number to be called and recover from all of this mess.  Before, I would wake up dreading mornings.  Now, I couldn't wait to work on hobbies or spend time with my wife.  It does get better, trust me.

 

Whether you believe it or not, recovery WILL happen!

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theloneranger86   
theloneranger86

Thanks for sharing your story Aeroman.. did you at any point suffer from sexual dysfunction or loss in libido ? Did anhedonia not ruin libido ?

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Thanks for sharing your story Aeroman.. did you at any point suffer from sexual dysfunction or loss in libido ? Did anhedonia not ruin libido ?

Yes and it's back to normal now.

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theloneranger86   
theloneranger86

how long did the anhedonia and sexual dysfunction last ? Also if you could tell me what the trajectory of recovery in those two symptoms looked like ? E.g. gradual unnoticeable changes / big leaps overnight over a period of time ?

 

It just feels great to know that people do come out of this hell. 

My life's been in ruins since PSSD and anhedonia hit me. 

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Happy2Heal   
Happy2Heal

 

Around Month 12, I felt a bunch of relief but I was left with anhedonia.  After awhile, it all got better.  I would tell folks that I felt like I was in a waiting room waiting for my number to be called and recover from all of this mess.  Before, I would wake up dreading mornings.  Now, I couldn't wait to work on hobbies or spend time with my wife.  It does get better, trust me.

 

this is so good to hear. Congratulations!!!

although I am still tapering (am on a low dose of 0.27mgs of lexapro) I went thru the crash that you describe and  slowly came out of that (with a few waves that are almost as bad)

 

now I seem to be in the anhedonia phase, I don't have much anxiety but I'm not getting much pleasure out of my life and seem to be just trying to find things to fill up the time.

I am, however, working with some books about "Hardwiring Happiness" and other neuroplasticity related books, and hoping to take the few seconds here and there, when I do actually FEEL something good, and try to make them grow.

 

I am so glad you come back to post this update!

thank you for doing so, it means a LOT to those of us still on the journey and waiting for our number to be called!

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

how long did the anhedonia and sexual dysfunction last ? Also if you could tell me what the trajectory of recovery in those two symptoms looked like ? E.g. gradual unnoticeable changes / big leaps overnight over a period of time ?

 

It just feels great to know that people do come out of this hell. 

My life's been in ruins since PSSD and anhedonia hit me. 

Anhedonia, about 3 years but it wasn't all that bad in those 3 years.  I had good and bad waves.  it was a non-linear recovery.  gradual change.

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Altostrata   
Altostrata

Hurray, Aeroman! Thank you so much for remembering your friends and sharing this good news.

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

 

 

Around Month 12, I felt a bunch of relief but I was left with anhedonia.  After awhile, it all got better.  I would tell folks that I felt like I was in a waiting room waiting for my number to be called and recover from all of this mess.  Before, I would wake up dreading mornings.  Now, I couldn't wait to work on hobbies or spend time with my wife.  It does get better, trust me.

 

this is so good to hear.

although I am still tapering (am on a low dose of 0.27mgs of lexapro) I went thru the crash that you describe and  slowly came out of that (with a few waves that are almost as bad)

 

now I seem to be in the anhedonia phase, I don't have much anxiety but I'm not getting much pleasure out of my life and seem to be just trying to find things to fill up the time.

I am, however, working with some books about "Hardwiring Happiness" and other neuroplasticity related books, and hoping to take the few seconds here and there, when I do actually FEEL something good, and try to make them grow.

 

I am so glad you come back to post this update!

thank you for doing so, it means a LOT to those of us still on the journey and waiting for our number to be called!

 

Thanks for sharing.  Yes, one will know when they're in that anhedonia phase.  It isn't fun at all but I would take that over akathasia (inner restlessness) any day.  I have a slew of hobbies and all of that got put on hold until I came out of this.  I remember so much dust collected in the garage where I like to spend my time doing things.  Now, I wish I had more time during the weekends to do things!  When I think about w/d, it is nothing but a memory now.  My brain isn't able to switch to that old mind set.

 

Before, I was numb.  I didn't pick up the phone.  I didn't feel like visiting loved ones.  I pretended to smile or carry on a conversation.  I avoided so much.  What I did pick up during that time was walking.  Yes, good old walking.  I was able to get fresh air and listen to music even though I couldn't enjoy it.  I helped with the sleep issues.

 

I know many of you reading this are living with a condition that is almost impossible to describe.  Your doctor doesn't buy it.  Your spouse thinks that maybe you don't love them anymore.  Your boss thinks you are lazy or just under performing all in the while, you want out of this glass shell.  You are able to observe people smiling and laughing but you are not able to connect with their joy.

 

It is when you walk outside, notice a bird chirping or a beautiful color on a flower - it is THEN you realize that your brain is finally making progress.

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Hurray, Aeroman! Thank you so much for remembering your friends and sharing this good news.

I have had nothing but love for you and your page.  No doctor, no therapist, no nothing could understand the pain I was going through...only fellow sufferers.  I lived on here and other past sites and was my therapy.  Hope all is well my friend.

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brassmonkey   
brassmonkey

Hey Aeroman-- long time no see.  It sounds like life is treating you pretty well, I'm so excited for you.  Thank you so much for dropping in and letting people see that there really is life after WD.  So many people hit "0" and just disappear (which I can truly understand) it's hard to get any idea of the progression post WD.

 

I so agree with the healing power of getting out into nature, we all need to get out into it every day.  Even when we don't feel like it the exposure is beneficial.

 

Brass

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Waiting12   
Waiting12

Thank you so much for coming back and giving others hope. It means so much! I am so happy for you to be healed and living a happy full life! How/when in your recovery did the restlessness/akathisia & awful anxiety clear up for you?

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Thank you so much for coming back and giving others hope. It means so much! I am so happy for you to be healed and living a happy full life! How/when in your recovery did the restlessness/akathisia & awful anxiety clear up for you?

You're welcome.  It was around Months 10-12 ish...I noticed relief from it.  How far in wd are you?

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Waiting12   
Waiting12

I have a complicated history. Took Zoloft for 4 years and quit ct. wd showed up a year later but I didn't know it was wd as it was physical symptoms. My doctor told me it was probably stress and to restart Zoloft after being off of it for 1.5 years. I had an adverse or kindling reaction to it, then tried paxil and Celexa and each reaction was worse. Anyways... I haven't taken an AD for 4 months now.. its honestly torture every day. Just looking for the hope that it gets better at some point, even if bearable again. Thank you!

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Dan998   
Dan998

I'm in the anhedonia club too. It sucks!

 

Thanks for coming back from the other side and giving us all some hope that it is worthwhile continuing the struggle to be drug free.

 

Sometimes it's easy to forget why we are putting ourselves through this horrible ordeal. Stories like yours give us the strength to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

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LexAnger   
LexAnger

Been thinking of you Aeroman.

I have to say you are a true fighter going through and surviving two rounds of long lasting, and the most impossible journeys! Your streghth and determination set great example to everyone here and help us continuing the journey!

 

Coming back and helping rest of us shows another great aspect of kind soul you have, I have deep respect to what you achieved and you do!

 

The most wonderful thing though, of course, that you get your full life back! I'm truely happy for you, you are so well deserved!

 

All I want to say is, enjoy every moment of the new life, and take good care!

 

Lex

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Hopefull   
Hopefull

Congratulations Aeroman! It is fantastic that you have gotten your life back and that WDS is a distant memory!

Your success story is such an encouragement to others. Take care, Hopefull. :)

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Thanks everyone! I hope many of my old friends here have recovered or at least gotten a lot of relief!

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Santino   
Santino

HI Aeroman

 

Thanks a lot for coming back here and writing your update. I am on the boat of medium to slow tapers reaching to 4.5Mg from 15Mg of remeron in July. I have a bit of anhedonia and than a lot of lack of motivation of procrastination feelings. I am hoping this will go away otherwise i might need to resign from my job and that is not good.

Anyway reading you gives me hope that we will be able to make it free from this **** someday...

Enjoy your new life and do not take it for granted. You have fought hard to reach at this stage buddy. Hats off from me.

All the best

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Dez   
Dez

Hello, Aeroman! Congratulations on recovering and getting a normal life back!

 

I was going to ask if you had any chest pain or throat tightness? I've been dealing with these symptoms for awhile and I'm not sure what the cause is. If you had it, how long did it take to go away? It's one of the most annoying symptoms I have. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe or swallow or that it's trying to close on me. The anxiety isn't much of a problem anymore but it doesn't hello the throat tightness and vice versa.

 

Thanks for your time and for coming back to answer questions and tell your story. It does such wonders to hear recovery stories! It's like a light in darkness. Thank you!!

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Hello, Aeroman! Congratulations on recovering and getting a normal life back!

 

I was going to ask if you had any chest pain or throat tightness? I've been dealing with these symptoms for awhile and I'm not sure what the cause is. If you had it, how long did it take to go away? It's one of the most annoying symptoms I have. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe or swallow or that it's trying to close on me. The anxiety isn't much of a problem anymore but it doesn't hello the throat tightness and vice versa.

 

Thanks for your time and for coming back to answer questions and tell your story. It does such wonders to hear recovery stories! It's like a light in darkness. Thank you!!

Hello, you're welcome.  Yes I did.  I don't remember when it resolved.  I had all sorts of weird wd symptoms and they all went away.  Even if I stated the time frame, your timeline is unique.  However, the pattern is the same for many of us.

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

HI Aeroman

 

Thanks a lot for coming back here and writing your update. I am on the boat of medium to slow tapers reaching to 4.5Mg from 15Mg of remeron in July. I have a bit of anhedonia and than a lot of lack of motivation of procrastination feelings. I am hoping this will go away otherwise i might need to resign from my job and that is not good.

 

Anyway reading you gives me hope that we will be able to make it free from this **** someday...

 

Enjoy your new life and do not take it for granted. You have fought hard to reach at this stage buddy. Hats off from me.

 

All the best

I know the feeling.  For the time being, do something that nurtures the mind like puzzles, good stuff on TV, anything that burns time but also relaxes.  It's a waiting game.  You'll get there!

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Congratulations Aeroman! It is fantastic that you have gotten your life back and that WDS is a distant memory!

Your success story is such an encouragement to others. Take care, Hopefull. :)

thank you, hope all is well with you

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Been thinking of you Aeroman.

I have to say you are a true fighter going through and surviving two rounds of long lasting, and the most impossible journeys! Your streghth and determination set great example to everyone here and help us continuing the journey!

 

Coming back and helping rest of us shows another great aspect of kind soul you have, I have deep respect to what you achieved and you do!

 

The most wonderful thing though, of course, that you get your full life back! I'm truely happy for you, you are so well deserved!

 

All I want to say is, enjoy every moment of the new life, and take good care!

 

Lex

Thanks!  Yeah, no more Cipro for me - that stuff was horrible!

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

I'm in the anhedonia club too. It sucks!

 

Thanks for coming back from the other side and giving us all some hope that it is worthwhile continuing the struggle to be drug free.

 

Sometimes it's easy to forget why we are putting ourselves through this horrible ordeal. Stories like yours give us the strength to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

Yes, the anhedonia was the long lasting issue for me - it will go away!

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

I have a complicated history. Took Zoloft for 4 years and quit ct. wd showed up a year later but I didn't know it was wd as it was physical symptoms. My doctor told me it was probably stress and to restart Zoloft after being off of it for 1.5 years. I had an adverse or kindling reaction to it, then tried paxil and Celexa and each reaction was worse. Anyways... I haven't taken an AD for 4 months now.. its honestly torture every day. Just looking for the hope that it gets better at some point, even if bearable again. Thank you!

yes, you are in the midst of wd.  you will get through this.  For now, hang on tight - you are going to learn a lot about yourself.  No other experience has strengthened my mind like being in SSRI w/d

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marie123   
marie123

Hi Aeroman. We love success stories around here. Congrats!

 

Marie

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Tootsieroll   
Tootsieroll

Thank you for coming back!! Did u have one last big wave before everything healed or was it gradual imperceptible change? I have always wondered if it's like waking up from a dream suddenly.

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waves12   
waves12

This has been an interesting read, such hope for everyone. I was wondering what I am meant to be doing to recover? I do work from home part time, a struggle, and meet up with friends when I can but nothing seems to ease the symptoms, real bad brain fog all the time and anhendonia. Is it really a case of time and patience? Will these symptoms subside on their own ? I feel at times I must be doing something wrong or not doing something that I should be. Such a challenge everyday and want it to end but of course I cant magic myself better just feel that I cant cope with this.  I have been off AD for almost 9 months now cold turkey. It seems that if this is the rest of my life it is too hard but have no alternative but to keep going.

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nicolantana   
nicolantana

great to hear this!!! especially the  anhedonia. so you went from feeling absolutely nothing to getting back to full emotions??

 

what kind of pattern was the return of emotions? short windows? over night? bit by bit?

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

Thank you for coming back!! Did u have one last big wave before everything healed or was it gradual imperceptible change? I have always wondered if it's like waking up from a dream suddenly.

You're welcome!

 

Did you ever have a headache, take a pill, and then having it go away, gradually? At the end of the day, you remembered you had that headache but can't quite pinpoint when it disappeared? That's how it was for me. I had good days and then not so good days. Then I had longer good days. Then days turned to weeks, then months, then finally years...solid,good feeling moments. You'll get there.

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

This has been an interesting read, such hope for everyone. I was wondering what I am meant to be doing to recover? I do work from home part time, a struggle, and meet up with friends when I can but nothing seems to ease the symptoms, real bad brain fog all the time and anhendonia. Is it really a case of time and patience? Will these symptoms subside on their own ? I feel at times I must be doing something wrong or not doing something that I should be. Such a challenge everyday and want it to end but of course I cant magic myself better just feel that I cant cope with this. I have been off AD for almost 9 months now cold turkey. It seems that if this is the rest of my life it is too hard but have no alternative but to keep going.

Your thinking was exactly like mine. I thought I was going to be one of those that did not recover. I remember reading a bunch of stories where people went a long time without any Improvement. Well, the majority of those people did recover in fact I think almost all of them that I was friends with on here. It does not matter if you believe you're going to recover or not because the brain will heal no matter what you do. My recommendation is you do some activities that eases the mind like doing a jigsaw puzzle with a friend or family. Doing some puzzles or crossword puzzles kind of thing, seeing funny movies even though you can't laugh. What you are doing is burning time but in a good sense. I remember reading a bunch of stuff on the internet to help me see the light and I remember spending hours reasing upon story and story. It was that time I knew I was burning up time so I can get to the end of this nightmare.

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waves12   
waves12

Hi Aeroman

 

Thank you for your post, so helpful.

 

Love that bit where you say 'it does not matter if you believe you're going to recover or not because the brain will heal no matter what you do' On that odd good day I know that to be true, I have to heal eventually. Of course that odd good day has been 1 or 2 half days where I felt hope was being restored, difficult to remember on the rest of the dodgy days.  Not one of my friends or family members truly understands the horrible symptoms of this recovery and even notice that most of my friends just don't believe this is all through stopping meds and are patience with my excuses of not wanting to go places, which I find too hard recently.

I try to do things at home to keep busy and have managed to sort out a couple of rooms in the house even though it was a challenge. I am just going through the motions of being busy and although my heart is not in it I am 'burning time' as you say, I like that expression very much!!

 

If all I need to do is burn time and be patient I can do that.

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Aeroman   
Aeroman

That's it. Burn time, seriously. I tried all sorts of herbs, supplements, etc to help me sleep, lift mood but nothing worked for me. It may for you but it didn't with me.

 

NO ONE will fully understand all this. It's impossible - they are not you and do not live in your brain/state of mind.

 

I remember that mornings were particularly tough. By the evening, I was improved and even laughing. I didn't want the night to end. I dreamed going to bed bc I knew I wasn't going to sleep and that the morning was a reset of my mind. It all recovered. In fact, I am writing this in my garage as I work on my antique car!

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aberdeen   
aberdeen

Aeroman, so nice to hear from you again. I remember your original AD recovery on PP and clung to that. Was so sad for you when it all crashed in again with the cipro. I'm very encouraged to see that you have recovered- again! 

I still have the anhedonia as well. It is not as "thick" anymore, but it is there in the sense that everything feels like a joyless chore, with small flickers of time where the heart catches on and I feel positive or excited about what Im doing. I am 9 months drug free now, after a 4 year nice and slow 10% taper from 20mg Paxil. However i was in acute wd from CT-ing Effexor prior to the Paxil taper so it was a rough ride. Hoping for continued improvement. I'm happy you're working on your cars again, good for you!!! :)

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