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Alice1

Alice1: Lexapro withdrawal

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AliG

Alice. I have found through this process that the more you "accept" and the less you "freak out" in panic mode the better it will go. This is very much a "learning and growing" experience.

I understand how difficult that seems right now however it is true and I hope that you get to that point which I'm sure you eventually will. The waves do come and go and it's best if you and all of us accept that. It is what it is ! You have to try to roll with that.

 

I know you have the anxiety links: please brush up on them! They will help to get you through!

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Alice1

I'm thinking of getting this tattooed on my back..

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Happy2Heal

 :D

 

your brain is working hard, very soon you are going to see the results of that work

 

you are going to be feeling better than you ever imagined.

 

watch for the little signs of improvement, they are there if you look for them.

 

you will be surprised at how far you have come!!

and more healing is awaiting you.

 

you are doing a great job.

 

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TryingToHoldOn

Hi,

 

Just checking in.  Hope you're doing ok.

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Alice1

Hey TTHO

Ive been trying to do as my friends told me . Trying to accept and employing the Claire weekes method .. It doesn't stop WD but ithink I does help somewhat ..

 

Yesterday I had a 6 hour window and I also had my daughter with me .. That never happens . Every time I have a small window shes with her mom .. And I got a really good nights sleep , So that was nice but back in the pit today.... ..  

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TryingToHoldOn

I'm so glad you were able to spend time with your daughter while you were in a window!  That is great news!!!

 

The next window will come...hold on to that.

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Alice1

Hi Everyone

just wanted to ask if anybody has heard of scary brain sensations before ..I am getting these strange head pressures that feel almost as if my brain is expanding . Also when I go for my walks at night , if I stop the ground keeps going , like pulls away from me .. Im doing my best to keep calm but I really don't hear anybody describing symptoms like this on here and therefore im getting nervous about it ..Also , im really not doing to great .. im almost at 12 months off and there are some small positives but the symptoms are getting more severe .. Just though id reach out for a dose of hope if anybody's got one to spare tonight .. Hope everybody is doing better ..

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Waiting12
23 minutes ago, Alice1 said:

 if I stop the ground keeps going , like pulls away from me ..

 

I have this especially mowing lawn. Must be some sort of visual disturbance when we get used to surroundings moving. I think it's normal but takes a wd brain a little extra time to catch up. I hope you turn a big corner soon! 

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LexAnger

Hi Alice, just want to assure you that you are not alone with the strange head sensation! I had all kinds of strange, very unpleasant head sensation including pressure which is the least strange one to me, as others like brain spasm, twist, tingling, numb, stoned, sandy, flowing, fireworks, and more. I read others having the strange head sensation are most lex users. One day Last year I had a loud gun shot in my head immediately followed by an huge explosion - the most terrifying experience of all.

 

somehow I feel all of those are from the electric mis fire inside our CNS caused by the chaos from the drug. I remember I was so scared every time I had a new symptom of the like then I would get used to it emotionally just enduring it and trying to believe it will be gone some day when The chaos calm down.

 

I know it's heartbreaking to still suffer greatly after a whole year struggling, unfortunately this process usually takes longer than we  would hope. But still healing will happen giving enough time, painfully long time. The success stories we have here are my rescue when I'm in great despar and kept me going.

 

 

This is the process makes everyone of us super strong, much more than what we can ever imagine. You will survive and get your life back!

 

hugs,

lex

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Alice1

12 MONTH UPDATE .............

 

Well I've made it to 12 months, and man has it been tough .. I NEVER thought i'd be in this situation when I saw my doctor a year ago ..I wish I didn't have to endure this, but I guess I have no choice other than to proceed forward. As hard as it is to do ..I'd like to share with you the positives and negatives ..

 

Negatives ... At 12 months off I thought I would see symptoms improve . This is not the case, although I'm not sure if symptoms are worse or just different enough that they seem worse .. Whatever it is it is extremely discouraging to feel as bad as ever this far out ..

Symptoms .  Akathisia , anxiety , depression , anhedonia , dizziness , head pressures and sensations , panic attacks , DR/DP , hopelessness , SI , ruminations , and this weird severe "dazed and confused " feeling.

 

Positives... There have been more windows the last two months than any other months since all this started (excluding the first 2 months).. These windows range from 1-7 hours long and can be 50-90% in clarity .For instance , I had 10 of these small windows in July and I've had 8 so far in August compared to 5 in June and 5 in May. I am sleeping 6+ hours every night . I am eating well throughout the day (breakfast is forced fed) . I seem to be walking faster than when I stared 4 months ago ( When I started walking I looked sick and was very slow) . I have managed to keep working a small retail job at my best friends jewelry shop 5 hours a day 5 days a week . My family and my friends all say they see improvement ,but I can not feel it at all (except when i'm in a window) . The most important improvement is playing with my daughter . Before any of this started we used to play this cute little wrestling game everyday . Needless to say since WD started we haven't played it at all , BUT this month we have managed to play this game 5 times.. :)  I have little moments of interest in the things I used to be interested in , but it only lasts 10 or 15 minutes at a time, usually in the evening ..

 

So there it is .. I am so confused because I feel at my worst with all my symptoms and feel so hopeless most of the time .I am trying to remain positive but that also has its challenges. I'm practicing acceptance , but right now that's all it is "a practice" .  I am clinging onto hope that maybe improvement is so unnoticeable that you really don't feel it ,but others can see it . I'm very worried because I never had an "acute" withdrawal in the beginning like so many have described , but I have read about some being at their worst at 12 months off and going on to fully recover . I really hope I am one of those people ..

 

 

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Alice1

Hey Everyone ,

I am in a deep deep wave and was just wondering if I could get some hope if anybody has some to spare ..  I haven't had any of those small windows in two weeks and things are pretty severe .. Everyday is a different symptom set . Its one of those weeks where I feel like I am not going to make it ...TERROR coming at me from all angles ..

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TryingToHoldOn

There have been reports that a significant change (for the better) that often follows a deep, dark, brutal wave.

 

I hope this is the case for you, friend.  

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DMV64

"I've been told to meet this recovery half way by doing whatever I can without going overboard. " THANK YOU for that. I am hanging on to it!

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Chicago77

Hey Alice, 

 

I came across your post and wanted to see if you are still getting nerve/muscle pain. I saw your 12 month post you didn't list it as a symptom, so maybe it's gone for you now? Hopefully it is! I struggle with and it can get so frustrating dealing with chronic pain every day. Hope you are feeling okay today! :) 

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Alice1

Hey Chicago

I haven't had the nerve pain or any other pain in a while , but things change day to day with me . Right now I have "electric acid" flowing through my body and mind accompanied with extreme terror and organic fear .Yay :-/   also I get the extreme restlessness so I guess I'm one of the unlucky Akathisia sufferers .  I was making very slow but noticeable progress (meaning I was getting small windows) but this has all stopped since three weeks ago .  However , things seem to change every day/week to something different (always unpleasant) . 

 

Do you Have any of these symptoms I've mentioned ? 

 

 

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Chicago77

Well that's good you don't have any physical pain anymore! That's an improvement! A lot of my emotional symptoms have improved. However, I definitely get the "dazed and confused" feeling, depressed because I feel like crap, some days I'm not motivated to do anything at all, it's hard for me to concentrate and I also get morning anxiety sometimes right when I wake up. The irrational fear, the OCD and ruminating thoughts have definitely gotten way better this past 8 or 9 months. 

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Alice1

Im really pleased to hear about your improvements .. Especially in the mental department . Depression hits me ultra hard . Not being able to be connected with my daughter like I used to hurts so bad ..

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Alice1

Just wanted to post about a symptom to see if anybody can relate .. I have all the normal rapid taper stuff , but everyday from 11 am to 1 pm my anxiety goes straight through the roof .. Now , I know this sounds silly but this anxiety is absolutely crippling . so much so that all my functions slow down to where im literally moving and acting like a 95 year old man .. Its not a body buzzing anxiety either . Its deep inside my brain and the piercing energy gets so strong I feel like im going to have a seizure or something . My head gets light and tigh as well . Then around 1 pm it calms back to normal WD ..This usually only happens while im at work and work doesn't provide a fair amount of distraction anyways , but if I am a little bit distracted I feel a tad bit better .. I mean, im still in hell but im not 100% focused on it ..   Normal Acute ?

 

 

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Blondiee1915

hi Alice, 

my anxiety is usually worse around 12-2.30 pm .  It has always been like this on medication and being off is much worse .  I am not sure if there is something to do with blood sugar or psychological .   

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DMV64

My anxiety is always bad in the early afternoon!

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Waiting12
5 hours ago, DMV64 said:

My anxiety is always bad in the early afternoon!

 

Same. 

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