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TryingToHoldOn: Sertraline - protracted WD 6 months after last dose?


TryingToHoldOn

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On 13/02/2018 at 5:28 PM, TryingToHoldOn said:

Terry, I hope you’re finding some relief.

Tryingtoholdon , still no relief for me things just still as bad , i have given up on recovery now like you having no windows makes it seem never ending and the constant burning of all body parts tells me it is more toxicity than anything 

2001 to jan 2015 Effexor 150 mg 

jan 2015 15 mg mirtazapine 20 mg quetiapine 

feb 2015 quetiapine stopped 

feb 2015 30 mg of citalopram added 

feb 2015 mirtazapine increased to 30 mg 

july 2015 citalopram stopped 

sept 2015 200mg of pregabalin 

jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped

jan 2017 20 mg fluoxetine

march 2017 all meds stopped 

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For those of you who aren’t aware, Dr. Jennifer Leigh has recovered from her setback and is available for withdrawal support.  Her website is:  https://benzowithdrawalhelp.com/

 

I’d like to share my correspondence with her.  I believe many of you will find it encouraging.

 

 

 

I will answer in BLUE CAPS.

 

I’m sorry to bother you,NOT A BOTHER AT ALL, I KNOW HOW HARD LIFE IS IN WITHDRAWAL.  but I am desperate.  My story starts with me starting on an SSRI after the birth of my second child for post partum depression.  I remained on sertraline for 2 years.  During the last year on sertraline, I wanted to be proactive and sought out counseling, specifically for CBT strategies.  I disclosed to my therapist that I was experiencing irritability and intense anger and she immediately diagnosed me with a “soft bipolar” or bipolar 2 and referred me to the NP in their office.  The NP took me off sertraline in a month, jumping me off at 25mg (essentially a cold turkey) and introduced me to latuda.  In hindsight, I believe my anger and irritability was a side effect of the sertraline as I had not experienced it before at that intensity. I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU WERE TAKEN OFF SO QUICKLY. IT'S CRIMINAL THAT TRAINED MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT THE BRAIN NEEDS TIME TO RESET ITSELF AFTER BEING REMODELED BY A PSYCH DRUG. I AM SORRY THAT YOU HAD SUCH A BAD REACTION AND THAT YOU HAD A DOCTOR (OR A NP ) THAT DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HOW TO GET SOMEONE OFF A PSYCH MED.

For the first couple months off the SSRI and on the latuda I felt fine.  Then three months later I began having episodes of rage and intense crying spells, but at this point I was still fully functional with my cognitive abilities intact.  However, my NP kept raising my dose of latuda because I would constantly cry during our sessions.  I couldn’t understand why I was crying so much and so angry.  I never cried like this when I had post partum.  In fact, even with my post partum, I had low mood and became teary, but I was fully functional and found a lot of happiness and joy as well.  Three months after I started the latuda, the NP commenced my on lamictal (a mood stabilizer), because my mood wasn’t stabilizing.  Then the fourth month she raised my latuda to 80mg and that was my descent into hell.  SADLY THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO MANY PEOPLE. THEY HAVE A REACTION (EVENTUALLY) TO THE PSYCH MED AND THEY ARE THEN GIVEN MORE MEDS FOR THAT REACTION, BUT THE REACTION ISN'T SEEN AS A DRUG REACTION (OR TOLERANCE WITHDRAWAL) BUT RATHER IT IS SEEN AS A NEW "DISORDER" OR. A WORSENING OF A PREVIOUSLY DIAGNOSED DISORDER. I immediately had akathisia, unimaginable anxiety, and insomnia (that I still have 15 months later).THESE ARE COMMON REACTIONS TO PSYCH MEDS FOR SOME PEOPLE.  When I told my NP about it, she told me that my underlying anxiety was coming back and to stay the course at the dose.  AGAIN, IT IS RARE THAT A MEDICAL DOCTOR UNDERSTAND THE DELICATE PROCESS OF THE BRAIN IN WITHDRAWAL FROM PSYCH MEDS, OR FROM AN ADVERSE REACTION. I was in utter terror for an entire month and begged to come off this medication.  She finally relented and took me off after a 6 week wean having me jump at 20mg. I AM SORRY THAT YOU WERE TAKEN OFF SO QUICKLY AND THAT SHE HAD YOU JUMP WHEN YOU DID.  I was in such emotional/suicidal despair I voluntarily checked myself into a psych hospital. I AM GLAD THAT THEY KEPT YOU SAFE.  There I was old turkeyed off the lamictal (had been on it for 2.5 months) and reinstated on sertraline at 150mg (my original dose was only 75mg).  They also concluded that I did not have bipolar disorder and was wrongly medicated. YES, THIS IS THE CASE FOR MANY OF US.  I felt much better emotionally and was discharged on sertraline.  That lasted a few days. 

About 5 days after I was discharged from the hospital, I felt as though I was dying.  I can’t even describe all of the physical symptoms that I endured, but I was never so scared in my life.  I was able to research my symptoms on my phone and believed I had serotonin syndrome.  I went back to the psychiatric urgent care and was told that I was just highly anxious.  I persisted and the medical director conducted a neurological test and concluded that I indeed had serotonin syndrome.I AM SO SORRY THAT YOU HAD THIS REACTION. BUT HAPPY THAT YOU STUCK WITH GETTING A TRUE DIAGNOSIS.  I was readmitted into the hospital so they could monitor me as they cold turkeyed me off 150mg of sertraline.  After my release, I sought out a private psychiatrist and she also confirmed that I did not have bipolar disorder.  She also thought I was sensitive to the medications and that I would be well again in approximately 3-6 months.  I have been off all medications for 1 year and I am far from well or functional.IT CAN TAKE SOME TIME FOR THE BRAIN/CNS TO RESET ITSELF. BUT IT WILL. 

For 11 months, I had uncontrollable sobbing that would last 4-5 hours and I was highly suicidal.  Below is list of my symptoms:

Terror
Acne
Anxiety
Social anxiety
Agoraphobia
Internal vibrations/body buzzing
Insomnia
Myclonic jerks/muscle twitching
Akathisia
Severe headpressure
Burning brain/head/face
Burning skin
Numbness in my face
Temperature dysregulation
Severe cognitive impairment
And about 30-40 other symptoms

 

ALL OF THESE ARE KNOWN WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS. 

My concern is my cognitive impairment. Nothing comes second nature to me.  I am unable to plan, coordinate, execute simple tasks. THIS IS TEMPORARY. YOU'LL BE BACK TO YOUR OLD SELF BEFORE TOO LONG. YOU WILL BE SHARP, CREATIVE, ETC. AGAIN. THE COGNITIVE ISSUES DON'T LAST FOREVER.  There is also a heaviness around my brow area and and my entire face is numb.QUITE COMMON. When I am out in public things just feel weird and off. YES, I UNDERSTAND. THAT'S A COMMON FEELING FOR MANY OF US. BUT IT GOES AWAY IN TIME.  Most of the time I feel so uncomfortable in my own body that I want to jump out of my skin and I don’t have the ability to socialize - at all.THAT WILL GET BETTER. YOUR BRAIN WAS SHOCKED BY THE DRUGS SO TO SPEAK, BUT IT WILL SETTLE DOWN. 
At one year off, my cognitive impairment is worse and I fear that I have permanent brain damage.  Is it normal to feel this way so far out? FOR SOME PEOPLE, YES. IT CAN TAKE A FEW YEARS UNTIL THINGS FEEL RIGHT. THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT PEOPLE SUFFER INTENSE SYMPTOMS FOR YEARS, BUT THAT IT TAKES TIME.  And why is it so difficult for me to self care? MANY OF US DIDN'T HAVE THE STRENGTH OR THE MOTIVATION TO CARE FOR OURSELVES FOR QUITE SOME TIME.  Showering, basic hygiene and other simple tasks are so monumentally difficult. I STRUGGLED WITH THESE SAME ISSUES FOR QUITE SOME TIME. BUT THAT'S ALL BEHIND ME. I SUSPECT IT WILL BE FOR YOU AS WELL. SOON.  Some days it’s impossible for me to communicate with anyone, like I don’t have the reserves in me to do so, even though I have the capability to talk.I UNDERSTAND, TOTALLY. BUT THIS WILL GET BETTER. 

Is this this withdrawal and am I permanently damaged?I AM NOT AN MD. I LEGALLY CANT TELL YOU THAT WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING IS WITHDRAWAL. BUT I CAN TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE THE EXACT SYMPTOMS OF OTHERS WHO ARE IN WITHDRAWAL.  It’s hard to believe that at a year out I am still having such severe symptoms with no end in sight.  My symptoms are relentless and even the less severe symptoms are so weird that it causes me to panic. PART OF YOUR WORK IS TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE SENSATIONS AND NOT TO LET THEM SCARE YOU. WHAT CAN YOU TELL YOURSELF TO REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU'VE HAD THE SYMPTOMS IN THE PAST AND YOU WERE OKAY?  I have never experienced anything like this before.  I am terrified for my life. IF YOU FEEL YOU NEED MORE TESTS TO RULE OUT ANYTHING SERIOUS, PLEASE HAVE THE TESTS TO SET Y9OUR MIND AT EASE. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. BUT IF NOTHING IS FOUND, DO YOUR BEST TO ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE RECOVERING FROM THE DAMAGE FROM THE PSYCH MEDS.  Also, I am extremely sleep deprived and I NEVER, NEVER have the sensation of feeling tired or sleepy.IT MAY TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOUR SLEEP TO  COME BACK AS FULLY AS YOU'D LIKE IT TO BE. BUT IT SHOULD. IN TIME. 

I don’t know what to do.THE BEST THING TO DO IS TO REST AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. AVOID STRESS. FIND THINGS TO DO THAT DISTRACT YOU. EAT CLEAN. ORGANIC IF YOU CAN. NO GLUTEN IF YOU CAN AVOID IT, NOT SUGAR, ADDITIVES, PRESERVATIVES, MSG, COLORING ETC. NO BOOZE OR CAFFEINE. YOU CAN SEARCH ON MY BLOG FOR OTHER WAYS TO COPE. 

 

  My labs and eye exam checked out ok.  THAT'S GOOD NEWS! I am going to get a referral for an MRI, but all of these symptoms began on and getting off these medications.  Do people really heal from this? YES, THEY DO. IN TIME. IT CAN TAKE A BIT LONGER, BUT YOU'LL SEE. YOU'LL REALIZE THAT THINGS ARE GETTING A TINY BIT BETTER. AND BETTER. AND BETTER. IT IS SLOW, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN.   I cannot live the rest of my life like this.YOU won't HAVE TO. YOU WILL GET BETTER. 

 

ONE THING YOU CAN DO IS TO ESTABLISH A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD AS YOU UNDERSTAND GOD. RELY ON GOD. PRAY. GIVE THANKS. ETC. DON'T ASK WHY, AS THAT WILL ONLY KEEP YOU IN THE PROBLEM. ASK HOW AND WHAT QUESTIONS. HOW CAN YOU BE PRODUCTIVE EVEN IN WD? HOW CAN YOU BE OF SERVICE TO OTHERS, HOW CAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF THE MOST? WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP YOURSELF? ETC. YOU CAN COME UP WITH MORE/BETTER QUESTIONS. WITHDRAWAL CAN BE A TIME OF DEEPENING OUR SPIRITUALITY AND UNDERSTANDING OF OURSELVES/LIFE. WE GET TO THE OTHER SIDE, TO RECOVERY, AND HAVE A DEEP APPRECIATION FOR LIFE. WE DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED!  AND LIFE IS AMAZINGLY SWEET AFTER WITHDRAWAL ENDS. AND IT DOES END. 

 

 

 

 

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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Thank you, Trying.  I needed that today.  I think of you often, and I was happy to see that you posted.  I am wishing that you will get a window soon.  Peace, Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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T,

I also want to say thanks and that I too think of you often. In fact I went to your thread last night but decided to not bother you.  Just hoping and praying for the best for you and that your windows and recovery come soon!! 

Hugs Lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Thank you for sharing!

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Rosetta & LG,

 

Thank you for your kind words.  I can only read success stories right now so i’m sorry that I have not been able to follow your threads. I hope things are more manageable for both of you and I hope to provide support later if I ever stabilize.

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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😘

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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On 3/19/2018 at 10:44 PM, Waiting12 said:

Thank you for sharing!

Waiting,

 

You too!  Hang in there, as you always tell me...it will pass.

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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1 hour ago, TryingToHoldOn said:

 I can only read success stories right now so i’m sorry that I have not been able to follow your threads. I hope things are more manageable for both of you and I hope to provide support later if I ever stabilize.

 

I understand completely!  No need to read the other threads.  Let me say though that I have become completely convinced that we will all heal.  It's a matter of being very, very careful what we put in our bodies.  I have been thinking lately about the histamine issue and discovering that many of our symptoms may be histamine intolerance symptoms, too.  As anti-depressant were derived from anti- histamine so, I'm very curious about the idea that we are suffering from histamine intolerance and that avoiding "high-histamine foods" might help.  Here are some links posted by freespirit:

 

General information about HI and the symptoms: https://www.marioninstitute.org/histamine-intolerance-syndrome/

 

Information about cystitis and HI: https://www.foodsmatter.com/allergy_intolerance/histamine/articles/histamine-estrogen-and-interstitial-cystitis-the link-01-16.html

 

Histamine and chronic bladder inflammation: https://healinghistamine.com/histamines-role-in-chronic-urinary-tract-infections-or-intersitial-cystitis/

 

The connection between HI and hormonal changes in menopause and peri-menopause https://healinghistamine.com/the-menopause-histamine-connection/

 

Take care, Rosetta

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • 3 weeks later...

T

thinking of you. 🌷

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

Link to comment

Me, too.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
18 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

T

thinking of you. 🌷

💗

 

I hope you’re doing better.  

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

Link to comment
18 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Me, too.

💕

 

I hope you’re better as well.

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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  • 2 weeks later...

I found this passage on another members thread.  At 13 months off, I feel exactly the same.  He is one of two people that I have come across that describes my exact symptoms.  Sadly, he didn’t make it and the other person stopped writing all together.  

 

I’ve been strong for 13 months, fighting every single second.  I have two children (6 & 4 yrs) whom I cannot properly care for because I am so sick (physically & emotionally).  It’s gotten to the point where we have hired a nanny who will be starting in two weeks.  I am so scared for my life.  

 

“I'm feeling pretty down. People say their withdrawal was 'hell' but then mention they did things during it like work, exercise or take up a new hobby. I would kill to be able to swap places with people in that position. Try living a life where every waking second you are in so much agony you clutch your head and feel like screaming because it's like some psychic force is massacring your brain. “

 

“I could put up with ANYTHING else, I would happily have extreme nausea, vomiting, tinnitus, muscle cramps, brain zaps, delirium, fatigue etc. I could manage those, they would be debilitating, but I could live with them. This extreme mental pain is just a different level of hell.”

 

Can a moderate/Alto please look at my intro?  Is it possible that a reinstate this far out can alleviate any of the suffering?  When I first posted I wasn’t advised about any type of reinstatement options at all.  I need help, please.  I feel as those my life depends on it.  Thank you for your time.

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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@Altostrata

 

Please can you read the above post?  I know that you are extremely busy, but I need some guidance.  I’m trying to make a rational and informed decision.  Thank you.

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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  • Administrator

Trying, everyone wants immediate attention. We can only do so much.

 

1 hour ago, TryingToHoldOn said:

 Is it possible that a reinstate this far out can alleviate any of the suffering?  When I first posted I wasn’t advised about any type of reinstatement options at all.  I need help, please.  I feel as those my life depends on it.  Thank you for your time.

 

You were advised repeatedly about reinstatement options (see below). You chose not to try it.

 

Sometimes when people have been through a lot and the same question keeps coming up, it's worthwhile to review your entire Intro topic from the beginning. Most likely, you'll see you already have the answer.

 

On 4/1/2017 at 12:17 AM, Petunia said:

Welcome Trying,

I'm glad you found us and so sorry you have been put through so much pain and suffering by people who should have been helping. Unfortunately, the medical profession knows very little about the psychiatric drugs they are handing out and even less about how to safely take people off them.

....

Reinstatement of sertraline might have helped, if it had been tried at a much lower dose. ....

....

 

 

On 8/7/2017 at 5:06 PM, TryingToHoldOn said:

....Right now, I am committed to ride this out without reinstatement since I've had adverse reactions.  ....

 

 

On 10/17/2017 at 12:07 PM, TryingToHoldOn said:

I'm feeling quite suicidal and would like to know if a possible reinstatement is advisable or if I should just keep going.  At 7 months off I feel like things are turning for the worst and am barely hanging on.  Thank you for your time.

 

On 10/17/2017 at 4:22 PM, baroquep said:

Some members, even after being off of the drugs for a long period of time have found that their symptoms continue to get worse and will attempt a reinstatement.  We recommend that you start at a very small dose to avoid having an adverse reaction and then titrate up only until you feel that the intensity of your withdrawal symptoms are alleviated. Reinstating won't necessarily get rid of all of the symptoms, but if successful, will help to alleviate the intensity of the symptoms.


I am going to attach a link to the information on reinstatement which I would encourage you to read so you understand that there are benefits and risks to be aware of before making the decision to reinstate.  If after reading, you are still interested in reinstating, please post back here and we will help you figure out the best starting dose for you.

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms
What to Expect in Reinstatement (James Heaney article)  

 

On 11/2/2017 at 1:07 PM, bubble said:

....

I'm big on pro reinstatement. It reduces suffering. But even if people decided to avoid the risk of possible adverse reaction, they also recover.

 

Your friend probably didn't see many experiences except her own.

 

Testing reinstatement of a tiny amount is an option (I must have suggested in early days, I always do). But since you decided to tough it out you are actually doing well.

....

 

It's still up to you whether to try reinstatement. We cannot make that decision for you.

 

If you are afraid of Zoloft, you may wish to try a very small amount of Prozac (fluoxetine) or Celexa (cilatopram) instead. As they are all SSRIs, sometimes they can stand in for each other. In your situation, I would try no more than 0.5mg of anything.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Altostrata

 

Thank you for your response.  I sincerely appreciate you reviewing my history.

Do you feel it would be dangerous to try a reinstatement of zoloft at a microdose?  My only concern with zoloft is the serotonin syndrome reaction I got when the hospital reinstated, however the reinstatement was a large dose and it took a few days before the serotonin symptoms  to emerge.

 

My husband and I are talking it over now and we want to make a judicious decision about the micro reinstatement.  Is it preferable to reinstate the zoloft or would you recommend a different SSRI due to the previous serotonin syndrome reaction?

 

Also, what about the latuda?  Is that something I should be concerned with?

 

Again, I am extremely grateful for your advice.

 

TTHO

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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  • Administrator

It's impossible to tell what role, if any, going off Latuda plays in your current symptom pattern. An antipsychotic, Latuda is a more dangerous drug than the SSRIs, with more serious side effects. It's best to stay away from it if you can.

 

I can't tell what a microdose will do. It will cause less problems than a large dose, which is probably what you got in the hospital.

 

Quote

If you are afraid of Zoloft, you may wish to try a very small amount of Prozac (fluoxetine) or Celexa (cilatopram) instead. As they are all SSRIs, sometimes they can stand in for each other. In your situation, I would try no more than 0.5mg of anything.

 

Please re-read all responses in your topic before asking questions that have been answered before.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Hello Trying, I'm in the same position like you. I quit Effexor after a use of 9 years and they stopped it at 37,5 mg, lowest dosage ( still cold turkey) in summer 2016. Tried reinstating this one, but it didn't work. In summer of 2017 I was in the hospital where they gave me Duloxetin together with Lorazepam. Surprisingly it worked, but only for 2 days. I was able to walk, got the strength in my muscles back, could think normal, talk and even laugh. After these days the side effects started with nausea, heart racing, unregular heartbeat, burning skin on my arms and waking in panic. Doctors even said...No, that can't be from the meds. I dunno the dosage, cause they didn't tell me anything, but I guess it was 30mg. they said...I wont die from the side effects and they'll go away. But they didn't. After 2 weeks they switched to Sertraline. This did nothing. Side effects kept being worse. I cried and said, they have to stop. To the time when I was leaving back home, they tapered Lorazepan during 1 week. I got it 4 times the day before. I got Akathisia from that, begged them to help me. They didn't do anything. Back home..I had to quit Sertraline quickly, the heartracing and burning have been unbearable. So I was left with all the symptoms I had before plus severe agitation, high heart rate. All of my symptoms are in my signature. Why the Duloxetin worked at first and then stopped was nothing they could explain. I asked several times. 

 

I feel so extreme sick, I cry every day in despair and fear. Altostrata replied to me and said, that probably the dosage was way too high for my nervous system and a lower dosage may have continued to help me. Now I'm thinking of that, trying to make a decision. I'm scared about the risk and none can tell me what dosage probably will work. I can't live like this and dunno if I could handle, if it doesn't work or get even worse. I just did read as you probably too, that it worked for some, even after a long time and for others it didn't work at all. You see, you're not alone in this.

Taken Effexor/ Venlafaxine from 2007 - 2016

Came off with 37,5 mg in July 2016 by the advice of 2 psychiatrist, that this is save

Protracted withdrawal began in october with loss of hunger and apetite,

closed psychiatry August - Septembre 2017

Duloxetin 2 week, Sertraline then 5 weeks, quit on my own at home at 25mg, during the whole time was given Lorazepam 8quit in hospital too fast, dunno the dosages of the other meds, 

 

Symptoms: dizziness, balance issues, loss of hunger and apetite, pressure in head, tinitus, swayinglike feeling in the brain, tingleing and buzzering, nausea, feeling of a sore stomach and gut,  cognitive issues, can't talk much nor listen, very sensitive to noises and movements, agitation, fast constipation, tunnellike vision ( can't get the whole picture for example by reading, i can only see one word, pictures in tv are to fast), weakness in legs and arms, feeling my nerves with tingleing and a weird feeling in my thighs til my feet, low bp: around 100/ 60, high heartrate: in rest around 100, like 150 - 160 when I get up, pulse gets already up when I just turn around in bed, can hear the pulse in my left ear, can't leave the house, symptoms got worse with every month

 

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On 4/29/2018 at 1:01 PM, Altostrata said:

 

If you are afraid of Zoloft, you may wish to try a very small amount of Prozac (fluoxetine) or Celexa (cilatopram) instead. As they are all SSRIs, sometimes they can stand in for each other. In your situation, I would try no more than 0.5mg of anything.

Alto,

 

Which one ^ of these is considered the least stimulating?  I’m going on 16 months of insomnia and have severe agitation/akathisia.  Just trying to make the best choice moving forward.  Again, thank you for your time.

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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9 hours ago, Jeanny44 said:

Hello Trying, I'm in the same position like you. I quit Effexor after a use of 9 years and they stopped it at 37,5 mg, lowest dosage ( still cold turkey) in summer 2016. Tried reinstating this one, but it didn't work. In summer of 2017 I was in the hospital where they gave me Duloxetin together with Lorazepam. Surprisingly it worked, but only for 2 days. I was able to walk, got the strength in my muscles back, could think normal, talk and even laugh. After these days the side effects started with nausea, heart racing, unregular heartbeat, burning skin on my arms and waking in panic. Doctors even said...No, that can't be from the meds. I dunno the dosage, cause they didn't tell me anything, but I guess it was 30mg. they said...I wont die from the side effects and they'll go away. But they didn't. After 2 weeks they switched to Sertraline. This did nothing. Side effects kept being worse. I cried and said, they have to stop. To the time when I was leaving back home, they tapered Lorazepan during 1 week. I got it 4 times the day before. I got Akathisia from that, begged them to help me. They didn't do anything. Back home..I had to quit Sertraline quickly, the heartracing and burning have been unbearable. So I was left with all the symptoms I had before plus severe agitation, high heart rate. All of my symptoms are in my signature. Why the Duloxetin worked at first and then stopped was nothing they could explain. I asked several times. 

 

I feel so extreme sick, I cry every day in despair and fear. Altostrata replied to me and said, that probably the dosage was way too high for my nervous system and a lower dosage may have continued to help me. Now I'm thinking of that, trying to make a decision. I'm scared about the risk and none can tell me what dosage probably will work. I can't live like this and dunno if I could handle, if it doesn't work or get even worse. I just did read as you probably too, that it worked for some, even after a long time and for others it didn't work at all. You see, you're not alone in this.

Jeanny,

 

I’m so terribly sorry that you’re going through this.  Two years is a long time of endless suffering.  Have you had any windows at all? Are your symptoms mainly physical or emotional as well?  I’m on my phone so i’m Unable to see your signature.

 

This is a very scary place to be and I hope you find relief soon or are able to reinstate the duloxetin.  Maybe reach out to one of the moderators who can help you with a plan.  I now believe that some people may need a little help with WD in the form of reinstatement.  Some people are just luckier than others (it’s probably based a lot on genetics).

 

Yes, my biggest fear about reinstatement is damaging my brain even further.  I’ve read countless threads and it really is a crapshoot.  A 25% reduction of my symptoms would significantly improve my quality of life, but an adverse reaction would be the end for me.  I’ve been praying and praying to make the right decision.  My husband was 100% against reinstatement or medications up until now.  He has witnessed my steady decline and he is extremely concerned for my well being now.  Before he would encourage me and tell me that i’m getting better even on my bad days, but tonight he said I may need a little help getting my health back.

 

There have been countless people who were so terrified about reinstating who have gotten their life back.  There are also people who have suffered greatly in WD who have spontaneously recovered, gradually recovered, or partially recovered without any intervention.  It’s an individual choice and involves a risk with the most precious organ in our body.  

 

Please just don’t feel stuck.  There are options.  Nothing is black or white.  If what you’re doing now isn’t working, then perhaps it’s an indication you need to try something else.  My heart goes out to you because our story is so similiar.  I hope and pray for the very best outcome for you.

 

TTHO

 

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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Hello. Please pm me. Thanks. 

in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/1/2018 at 6:56 AM, TryingToHoldOn said:

Jeanny,

 

I’m so terribly sorry that you’re going through this.  Two years is a long time of endless suffering.  Have you had any windows at all? Are your symptoms mainly physical or emotional as well?  I’m on my phone so i’m Unable to see your signature.

 

This is a very scary place to be and I hope you find relief soon or are able to reinstate the duloxetin.  Maybe reach out to one of the moderators who can help you with a plan.  I now believe that some people may need a little help with WD in the form of reinstatement.  Some people are just luckier than others (it’s probably based a lot on genetics).

 

Yes, my biggest fear about reinstatement is damaging my brain even further.  I’ve read countless threads and it really is a crapshoot.  A 25% reduction of my symptoms would significantly improve my quality of life, but an adverse reaction would be the end for me.  I’ve been praying and praying to make the right decision.  My husband was 100% against reinstatement or medications up until now.  He has witnessed my steady decline and he is extremely concerned for my well being now.  Before he would encourage me and tell me that i’m getting better even on my bad days, but tonight he said I may need a little help getting my health back.

 

There have been countless people who were so terrified about reinstating who have gotten their life back.  There are also people who have suffered greatly in WD who have spontaneously recovered, gradually recovered, or partially recovered without any intervention.  It’s an individual choice and involves a risk with the most precious organ in our body.  

 

Please just don’t feel stuck.  There are options.  Nothing is black or white.  If what you’re doing now isn’t working, then perhaps it’s an indication you need to try something else.  My heart goes out to you because our story is so similiar.  I hope and pray for the very best outcome for you.

 

TTHO

 

Hello TTHO,

 

To your questions: No, I've never expierienced a window...it just got worse bit by bit. My symptoms are physically, mentally and emotionally. I suffer the most from the physical onces. 

 

Did you make your decision and reinstated already?

 

For me...I'm actually too scared about the risk. As you've said, it'd be the same for me. It'd be my end. And I did read alot about ppl, which got worse. It's impossible to return after and make it unhappen, if it doesn't work. One person got the advice to try a few beads and she had 10 nice days. But then it stopped working. She's bedridden again. Another young man (father and husband) took his life. He suffered 3 years from quitting Effexor at the same dosage as I did. He heard about others, where a reinstatment worked even after a long time off the drug. He was in such a despair and went to the doctor to get a description. Just one pill and two days later, he took his life. The same almost happened to me. I tried reinstating like 9 month after quitting. The same drug, same dosage of 37,5 mg (surely way to much). On the second day, I had extremely forcing thoughts to end my life for 5 hours. I stopped taking it then. Like one month later I tried a few beads. But again stopped after two days. I was just to scared what could happen again.

 

So it's really difficult. I don't wanna live like this. But the risk is really high. And I'd be the one, who has to handle the outcome. And I'M sure I wouldn't. 

 

Thank you.

Taken Effexor/ Venlafaxine from 2007 - 2016

Came off with 37,5 mg in July 2016 by the advice of 2 psychiatrist, that this is save

Protracted withdrawal began in october with loss of hunger and apetite,

closed psychiatry August - Septembre 2017

Duloxetin 2 week, Sertraline then 5 weeks, quit on my own at home at 25mg, during the whole time was given Lorazepam 8quit in hospital too fast, dunno the dosages of the other meds, 

 

Symptoms: dizziness, balance issues, loss of hunger and apetite, pressure in head, tinitus, swayinglike feeling in the brain, tingleing and buzzering, nausea, feeling of a sore stomach and gut,  cognitive issues, can't talk much nor listen, very sensitive to noises and movements, agitation, fast constipation, tunnellike vision ( can't get the whole picture for example by reading, i can only see one word, pictures in tv are to fast), weakness in legs and arms, feeling my nerves with tingleing and a weird feeling in my thighs til my feet, low bp: around 100/ 60, high heartrate: in rest around 100, like 150 - 160 when I get up, pulse gets already up when I just turn around in bed, can hear the pulse in my left ear, can't leave the house, symptoms got worse with every month

 

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I'm on the fb effexor group, i exchanged a few msgs with that poor man. Very sad, he was in a world of hurt. 

Gussy

On effexor for at least 11 years. Last few years going through ivf treatment dose has ranged from 150-200mg. Mainly 150 though. Tapered from about 175mg mid jan 2017 to zero mid april 2017. 2&1/2 months of straight hell. Getting there now though.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 5/10/2018 at 4:40 PM, Jeanny44 said:

Hello TTHO,

 

To your questions: No, I've never expierienced a window...it just got worse bit by bit. My symptoms are physically, mentally and emotionally. I suffer the most from the physical onces. 

 

Did you make your decision and reinstated already?

 

For me...I'm actually too scared about the risk. As you've said, it'd be the same for me. It'd be my end. And I did read alot about ppl, which got worse. It's impossible to return after and make it unhappen, if it doesn't work. One person got the advice to try a few beads and she had 10 nice days. But then it stopped working. She's bedridden again. Another young man (father and husband) took his life. He suffered 3 years from quitting Effexor at the same dosage as I did. He heard about others, where a reinstatment worked even after a long time off the drug. He was in such a despair and went to the doctor to get a description. Just one pill and two days later, he took his life. The same almost happened to me. I tried reinstating like 9 month after quitting. The same drug, same dosage of 37,5 mg (surely way to much). On the second day, I had extremely forcing thoughts to end my life for 5 hours. I stopped taking it then. Like one month later I tried a few beads. But again stopped after two days. I was just to scared what could happen again.

 

So it's really difficult. I don't wanna live like this. But the risk is really high. And I'd be the one, who has to handle the outcome. And I'M sure I wouldn't. 

 

Thank you.

I have not reinstated in fear of blowing up my brain.  I am not in a good state now, but i’ve read threads of people trying to reinstate, adding another drug, or taking a supplement that made them feel worse.  I can’t risk that with 2 children (6&4).  

 

Plus, I made an appointment with my doctor to possibly get an RX and discussed my situation. She was appalled at the treatment I received and basically told me that my brain had been assaulted & poisoned.  She said that she would be very reluctant to have me start on an SSRI due to my history with serotonin syndrome, even at a microdose.  Incidentally, she’s disclosed that she had previous experience helping patience who had adverse reactions, polydrugged or withdrawal too quickly from meds.  Unfortunately for me, her previous cases saw vast improvements at around 1yr and she was concerned that I was still experiencing such intense symptoms at 15 months off.  I have a follow up appt on Thursday to go over my lab work.  She conducted a basic neurological exam which I passed with flying colors.  Previously I had failed that exam when I had serotonin syndrome.

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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Maybe I need a little reassurance or hope.

I am experiencing things in my head and body that terrifying me.  I have yet to read of anyone having the ‘exact’ symptoms as I do, but maybe there are more than I realize.  Perhaps it’s the nature of WD symptoms that are so bizarre it’s hard to put them into words.  At 15 months off, I am definitely physically more worse than acute.  New symptoms have come up and other symptoms have increased in intensity.  If you can relate to any of the symptoms please let me know, as I honestly feel like i’m I got pummeled hard with both physical and mental symptoms.

Below are the symptoms that worry me the most:

 

-burning brain - relentless, from the base of my brain to my forehead region.  It flares up if I try to think or do a simple task

 

-seizure like episodes (mainly happens while lying down).  It feels like an electrical storm in my brain, if my eyes are closed i’ll see flashes of white light, followed by twitches and jerks.  I am fully conscious.

 

- a burning numbness, tingling, stabbing pain that starts in my forehead and radiates down the nose, chin and cheeks.  There is also a sense of tightness as if someone is trying to give me a facelift.

 

- severe pressure in my forehead and brow area along with stabbing pains and other weird sensations.  This symptom feels like it block access to my frontal lobe.  I can’t think or do anything, but surprisingly driving tends to relieve some of this symptom.  As soon as I get out of the car, it’s back in full force.

 

- tardive dyskinesia?  Sometimes I find myself grimacing or excessively blinking.  I’ve also had involuntary movements (jerking?) and it tends to happen when i’M lying down or asleep (wakes me).

 

- being completely wiped of my personality

I am not the person I once was nor am I a functioning, productive person.  The latter would be a step in the right direction.  I am incapable of “faking it”.  This is absolutely terrifying.

 

-social anxiety (severe). I do not communicate with my friends, am afraid to call my parents, avoid any type of social contact & social media.  I have never been like this in my life and it concerns me how WD has destroyed the very essence of who I once was.

 

-a general sense of being extremely physically unwell.  It feels like someone has poisoned every inch of my body and i’m Physically fighting for my life.

 

 

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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Yes T

i have many of these symptoms. 

Right now and most days I have burning pressure in my head. Feels like my brain is being squeezed. Headaches. 

Pressure in ears. Feels like my ear drums will explode. 

Pressure and burning in eyes. Blurry vision. 

Burning, numb tightness in my face. Pins and needles. 

 

No seizure like symptoms, but sometimes a feeling of a major head rush x 100

 

all over body pain

burning thighs

nausea

extreme anxiety, trembling

dp/dr

cannot think rationally. Often 

  cannot form a sentence. Hold a

  conversation. Mostly unaware of

  what other people are saying. 

 

and many more

lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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@Littlegrandma

 

I am so sorry that you’re still struggling so much.  It’s inhumane what these drugs to to people.  Have you felt any improvement at all with your reduction?

 

Thank you for sharing with me.  Last night I was sobbing in my husband’s arms telling him how horrendous and strange my symptoms are.  I hope to God you and I make it out of this hell soon!  Xoxo

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

Link to comment

@Littlegrandma

 

Quick question.  Do you have severe cognitive issues trying to do simple tasks?

How in the world do you get through your day?  If I just make it from morning to bedtime, I call that a success.

 

 

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

Link to comment

Oh T

im sorry for you too. It’s unbearable. My 2 and 5 yr old grandkids are here now. I can’t enjoy them and I love them to pieces. Trying to have an “Easter” egg hunt and I lasted 10 min. I couldn’t even bear to sit at the dinner table. 

 

Today I was trying to have a conversation on the phone with insurance and a doctor. I couldn’t form words. I just cried. My brain doesn’t work at all. You can probably tell by my elementary writing. I actually was thinking of going inpatient. But I changed my mind. I’m just desperate for someone to make it all better. I’m so scared. I’m only half way off my lexapro and 5% down on lunesta with ativan waiting in the wings. I really don’t have much faith right now that it will get better. I’m usually more positive, but symptoms are getting worse. I’m so scared. How did we get in this mess?  I had a little anxiety and insomnia. I knew better than to take these effin pills. 

 

I cry every day. 

 

Loading the dishwasher, laundry, even showering is so hard some days. My husband has cooked most of the meals for almost a year. I want my simple life back. This is truly hell. 

 

I think of you often T, as I know our symptoms are similar. Every time I see you post, I pray it’s going to be with good news. You’re young and the poison is completely out of your system. You are healing. Please try not to take another med. I understand the want to try that, but it’s too iffy and could lead to more harm. I stupidly let the hospital put me on ativan as I was so desperate with akathasia at the time. Probably added years to my recovery time. 

 

Ill be praying for a good update for you soon.  I’m sorry you’re suffering now. But hang on. Your window is coming. 

 

Love and hugs lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

Link to comment

I'm so sorry your are suffering the same hell!

I have/had all in your list except for the T.D.  Plus many others, extreme stiffness entire head and back, needling pain all over, left head and body numb, and paralysis. 

 

Just lately got multiple terrifying reactions to MRI, MSG, Mg, and aspartame 

 

I'm off lexapro 8 months after a 4.5 yr taper.

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
41 minutes ago, LexAnger said:

I'm so sorry your are suffering the same hell!

I have/had all in your list except for the T.D.  Plus many others, extreme stiffness entire head and back, needling pain all over, left head and body numb, and paralysis. 

 

Just lately got multiple terrifying reactions to MRI, MSG, Mg, and aspartame 

 

I'm off lexapro 8 months after a 4.5 yr taper.

LexAnger, 

i read your entire thread just before or right after I joined SA. It terrified me. I never dreamt that it could happen to me. I am so sorry for all you have gone through. 

Except for your latest reactions, do you feel better now, for the most part?  Oh, I hope so!!  Lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

Link to comment

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Sorry I lost the reply to your post Littlegrandma, after I pasted the YouTube link.

 

so here again I'm re typing it.

 

thank you for asking! My reaction to aspartame happened last night and lasted entire day today, very terrifying but it started lifting now 20 hours after,.

 

im sorry my story terrified you although I so hope I can provide some hope to everyone too! 

 

So so I posted above thestory from a guy survived Benzo withdrawal. He has his first video there too about his suffering. i will link it below too

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Go

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
16 hours ago, LexAnger said:

I'm so sorry your are suffering the same hell!

I have/had all in your list except for the T.D.  Plus many others, extreme stiffness entire head and back, needling pain all over, left head and body numb, and paralysis. 

 

Just lately got multiple terrifying reactions to MRI, MSG, Mg, and aspartame 

 

I'm off lexapro 8 months after a 4.5 yr taper.

I am so sorry that your years of hard work landed you in such an awful position.  Please tell me how you cope.  Are your symptoms mainly physical?  I wish I had the right words or a magic wand to take away all of our pain.  

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

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