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Kittygiggles   
Kittygiggles

Sorry you're going through this after you put in the time and effort to taper over 9 months. My best guess is that perhaps your withdrawal would be so much worse if you hadn't tapered at all or tapered faster!

 

I think perspective and distraction are vital to dealing with these mood changes. Yet, I find it almost impossible to handle the constant change. Yesterday morning was amazing then as the day progressed my wave appeared. Now I am barely functioning trying to deal with the aftermath of the wave and fearing the next one. Sometimes I am angry at the windows because they feel like false friends, they always disappear. It is so tiring dealing with the change. Acceptance doesn't come so easy when you're going through your nth transition from window to wave. 

 

I wish you all the will you need to avoid going back on an AD. I suppose in one sense I am lucky - the SSRIs never actually helped me. They made me sleep 12+ hours a day with lethargy in between. Sure, it made me less able to feel my anxiety but that was only because I was barely conscious. I still have such symptoms now but they are less due to a smaller dose. It is only CBT that has helped me cope with anxiety and depression; I still use it every day. 

 

Probably the only belief that keeps me going is imagining the wave as one step towards healing the damage done by bad tapering and withdrawal. Coming here helps too as I see hundreds of people going through pretty much the same thing as I am but in various flavors, intensities, and periods.

 

Anyway, sorry for rambling. I just wanted to express my frustration at the emotional changes involved with all this - they are iatrogenic which in my opinion makes them worse and so draining to handle!

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr

Sometimes I am angry at the windows because they feel like false friends, they always disappear. It is so tiring dealing with the change. Acceptance doesn't come so easy when you're going through your nth transition from window to wave. 

 

This right here - what you wrote, Kittygiggles - hits the nail on the head for me. I have been in a protracted anxiety wave of over a week now. But about 4 nights ago, something strange started to happen. After neuro-anxiety to the max all day, around 8pm I feel almost normal. Then it happens the next day. And the next. 

 

But it was a false friend who did not show up last night, In fact, last night I got an anxiety surge at the end of the night. There had been no change in my routine. BUT... my wife did ask if I would do a favor for her the next day (now today) that filled me with dread because it contained many triggers (change in my routine, an addition to my commute, and the potential to encounter a family member who might ask me questions I don't want to answer).

 

(For the full explanation of that, and some relationship questions, see my post at http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14533-what-do-you-do-when-they-dont-understand/#entry281679 ).

 

Anyway, I doubt my false friend named Window will be showing up tonight after I actually do the favor...

 

I need to remind myself to breath right now,

 

SJ

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Jodawoda   
Jodawoda

I am new here, my name is Jodawoda. Neuro-emotion is a word I have not heard before, but I definitely understand the meaning. I am barely able to cope right now with primal feelings of rejection, helplessness and powerlessness. Oh yeah, add paranoid to the list as well. 

 

I don't know whether to go up or down of off meds (again) at this point. This feels a lot like a living hell and I have always considered myself to be a grown ass strong woman who can pretty much handle anything. 

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr

Why does it seem that all of the neuro-emotions we get in withdrawal are bad? Why don't we get neuro-happiness, and neuro-confidence?

 

Yeah, I know - that's mostly a rhetorical question. I know it has to do with the down-regulation of serotonin and norepinephrine. But I just wonder why, if our systems are in such a state of flux, we don't get the occasional up-regulation? I'm not talking so much like a window. I mean more like a goid neuro-induced emotion.

 

SJ

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gigi63   
gigi63

SJ, you make me smile as I read this!!! Why? It seems I just asked our Lord this. I was feeling desperately sorry for myself and I said, why, why can't these neuro emotions be happy, good emotions??? I feel your question deep within. It sure would be nice wouldn't it!!!!

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Coopergirl1   
Coopergirl1

Hi everyone, hope there is a ton of healing taking place for you. Haven't wrote on here in awhile but I do read and keep reading your helpful posts. I have to ask this question, in withdrawal do you think we can wrongly hear something or misinterpret something? My mind is coming up with a conversation that took place about 1.5 years ago and is now trying to replay it and remember details and because I can't remember them all it's making me so anxious. Any thoughts please. Thank you

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miT   
miT

Don’t do this coopergirl. You’re just looking for a stick to hit yourself with. A mind set against itself will come up with interpretations that always justify the anxious state you’re in. It’s like an evil cooperation between mind and body. Don’t fall for it. Feel the anxiety, don’t analyze it.

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Coopergirl1   
Coopergirl1

Thank you soooo much MIT!! I know you are so right it only feeds it

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr

Anybody ever get a neuro-hyper or neuro-manic?

 

I had my usual morning anxiety, a crying jag too, but now I am suddenly very upbeat to the point of thinking I am getting a bit hyper or manic?

 

Could it be that I'm just hitting a window and am not used to having energy and good thoughts? Or could this be a trick of the mind as it moves into some new phase of recovery?

 

SJ

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marx   
marx

Have any of you had a feeling/state of afraid of being alone (like living/being home alone)? I'm not sure how to describe it - it's very scary, maybe it's a form of anxiety/depression?

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr
6 hours ago, marx said:

Have any of you had a feeling/state of afraid of being alone (like living/being home alone)? I'm not sure how to describe it - it's very scary, maybe it's a form of anxiety/depression?

 

Hi Marx -

 

This is rather common during withdrawal recovery. It's part of the anxiety, yes. The best way to combat it - other than going to find some people to be around, which is the best way - is to occupy yourself with whatever you can to help pass the time. I read a lot, or binge on Netflix. My suggestion is that whatever you chose to distract yourself, make it something that does not increase anxiety. Stay away from action shows, intense dramas, sad movies or books. Chose upbeat things.

 

Hang in there.

 

SJ

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Pearlsky   
Pearlsky

This is so very terrible for me. My worst neuro-emotions have to be neuro-guilt, neuro-self-criticism, and neuro-fear.

 

I feel guilt for every little thing I do - I mean everything!! I can't do anything pleasurable because I'm constantly afraid I'm sinning and the Lord is angry at me. Even the simplest of things make me feel guilty. I stay tensed up trying to figure out if I'm doing anything right.

 

I criticize myself all the time without realizing it. I even go very far with it. I complain about being born, my life is a waste, I have no purpose, everything is ending for me, and much more!

 

The fear is the worst because I'm always afraid the world is ending and I'll be left here before I had a chance to live. It is SO terrible! Every little thing is an indicator that time is up and I'm thrown into a state of terror and can't find a way out. It takes a whole lot of effort on my part to pick myself back up again.

 

This is complicated by my extreme derealization and depersonalization. I can't find a way to reach to people because I'm in my own world of horrors and I'm very stuck trying to figure it all out myself.

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powerback   
powerback

Hi pearlsky ,my heart bleeds reading this, do you believe this is withdrawal [please don't] ,it cant be your normal state of mind surely [not a judgement ] ,I've always had a terrible destructive self critic and I'm learning to practise some serious self compassion in this withdrawl ,I'm getting better at noticing it and when to calm it down and basically switch the channel in my mind .

Edited by scallywag
deleted quote of immediately previous post for readability

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Pearlsky   
Pearlsky

I've had these fears for a while, but they've become much worse in withdrawal to the point of feeling real. They're slowly getting better, but I still have major episodes involved with them.

 

I had people telling me how to live my life up until now, so this is really the first time ever I'm doing something for myself. It feels good, but it gets very, very hard.

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powerback   
powerback
28 minutes ago, Pearlsky said:

I've had these fears for a while, but they've become much worse in withdrawal to the point of feeling real. They're slowly getting better, but I still have major episodes involved with them.

 

I had people telling me how to live my life up until now, so this is really the first time ever I'm doing something for myself. It feels good, but it gets very, very hard.

so if there worse in withdrawl ,that tells you its withdrawl,thats a good thing,it tells us its the drugs and not you ,please believe that.

its  hard to get used to a new way ,even if it is a good thing for us ,but if we decide we want off drugs forever ,we have to learn new ways and then that leads to understanding and learning about ourselves .

keep practicing witnessing the thought and letting it pass on through your mind ,I'm getting better at it myself .

it takes loads of time but worth it .

people i know watch soap operas[nothing wrong with them ] ,i read and learn new ways to live and cope with feelings and emotions .we have to sacrifice the time else were to learn new things .

the main thing is our thoughts don't become actions .

Take great care.

PB

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powerback   
powerback
1 hour ago, powerback said:

Hi pearlsky ,my heart bleeds reading this, do you believe this is withdrawal [please don't] ,it cant be your normal state of mind surely [not a judgement ] ,I've always had a terrible destructive self critic and I'm learning to practise some serious self compassion in this withdrawl ,I'm getting better at noticing it and when to calm it down and basically switch the channel in my mind .

I meant please do :huh:

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scottly9999   
scottly9999
On 20/02/2015 at 1:55 AM, indigo said:

Appreciated reading this thread this morning. Since swtiching from capsules to liquid prozac I've noticed dips of "neuro-emotion" are more sudden and shorter in duration.

Sometimes I'll wake up thinking I'm wasting my life, comparing myself to others who seem happy, creative and competent. Thoughts cycling that  I'm a damaged person.

I'm a failure. That I'll never get off this drug, That I won't able to survive if I lose my partner or when my old dog dies etc .

Then a few hours later I'll feel fine. Look around at my life, my creative work, thankful I have a loving partner who is healthy, that my old animals are happy and well,

that I'm so much more myself  and more creative than I was when on 20 mg of prozac.

Whenever I'm in a  dark dip it seems totally real, and any other way of looking at my life is delusional.

However, I'm learning to ride out the dips, keeping my day as undemanding and gentle as possible. 

And every dip I survive gives me confidence I'll survive the next one on my way off this drug.

Wow!!

This is me!

 

I'm into my 4th month off Lexapro totally.. and those thought processes you said.. that ugly ruminating is where I keep slipping into!!!  Exactly that... The comparing, the endless worry about every bad outcome..  and how real it seems.. almost as if I've been fooling myself to have thought differently !

 

The way these drugs can literally change your thoughts and beliefs is incredible and a bit scary.

 

How are you progressing since you wrote this a while ago??

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scottly9999   
scottly9999
On 23/07/2017 at 1:42 AM, marx said:

Have any of you had a feeling/state of afraid of being alone (like living/being home alone)? I'm not sure how to describe it - it's very scary, maybe it's a form of anxiety/depression?

Hi marx.

Yes i get that exact feeling too...  i had it creeping up on me gradually in my taper, very very gradually.  It has hit me very hard now.  Intense fear and anxiety related to it.

I never ever remember feeling anything like it before meds or withdrawal.  Maybe a mild tingle of anxiety.

What is making mine much more complex is that im dealing with the passing of both my parents.   Dad 5 years ago.. and mum 5 months ago... right in the end of my taper.  So its all feeding off itself.

Im 3-4 months into being completely off lexapro after a 2.5 year taper.  I didnt expect to be in the state i am.. i mustve tapered too fast and it all caught up with me.  I didnt have tpo ,any issues in my taper.

 

However the reason part of my mind, when i push it hard tells me that the fear is neuro emotion and wd based.  Its quite a primal fear really.

I think as we feel sinking feeling of cortisol or adrenaline our mind manufactures its worst case scenario to justify the intense emotional response.

 

It must be withdrawal.

 

I find using ACT tecniques to sprt of breathe into and around it and expand around it.  Stopping struggling wigh it seems to bring a littls relief. 

 

Easier said than done.

 

I got the instructions from the book the happiness trap.

 

Hope this puts some perspective on it.

Im still very much in full withdrawal with crazy emotions.

 

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