Hazel: struggling with Paxil to Prozac bridge

[Hazel]

Thanks so much Carmie.  I had also looked into weighted blankets and they sound like they would be helpful.  I might have to consider one although they are pretty expensive.  

 

[Carmie]

2 minutes ago, Hazel said:

Thanks so much Carmie.  I had also looked into weighted blankets and they sound like they would be helpful.  I might have to consider one although they are pretty expensive.  

 

 

I reckon they will be worth the money to get that bit of comfort Hazel.

 

It’s quite warm here for most of the year but I have an air conditioner in the bedroom. I was thinking I would turn it on if it’s too hot and use the weighted blanket nevertheless. 

 

I’ll probably buy one in the next month or so.

 

We can let the blankets hug us 

 

 

[Hazel]

Let me know how you like it.

[DaveB]

3 hours ago, Hazel said:

Thanks so much Carmie.  I had also looked into weighted blankets and they sound like they would be helpful.  I might have to consider one although they are pretty expensive.  

 

 

I should look into a weighted blanket as well. You will be fine Hazel, you will get through this wave just like you have so many others. When you get to the other side, you will wonder what all the fuss was about. You are doing good, you have a few good days a week, look to those and know they will come again. 

[Hazel]

Thanks Dave.

I guess I am just getting worried because this wave has lasted longer than normal.

How are you doing today?

[DaveB]

Doing ok, bad day yesterday turned into a pretty good night. Woke up this morning and did a workout, feeling pretty good right now...who knows how long it will last.

[Altostrata]

Do-it-yourself weighted blankets https://diyprojects.com/weighted-blankets-diy/

 

It's possible you'll need a weighted blanket only for a while.

[Hazel]

Thanks Alostrata.  That could be a fun project.

[Carmie]

9 hours ago, Hazel said:

Let me know how you like it.

 

I will. Good idea of Altos if you feel like making one yourself. I’ve seen them on Pinterest too.

 

I’m just deciding what weight to get and the general consensus has always been 10% of your body weight.  I always weigh between 55kg and 60kg, so if I did that I’d use a 6kg one.

 

I just read this though that one occupational therapist says that research and experience suggests the appropriate weight should be closer to 20%. Here’s part of what she said:

 

” For a very long time there was no research done on weighted blankets. In order to have some frame of reference, the research that was done on weighted vests and backpacks was misapplied to weighted blankets.

 

This is incorrect and unfortunate as weighted blankets are used in an entirely different way. The biggest difference is that the individual is not bearing the weight of the blanket while standing.

 

There is now finally some research on weighted blankets. The research was conducted by Tina Champagne, an occupational therapist in Massachusetts. She also concluded that using the results of the weighted vest and backpack was incorrect. In fact she found that people consistently sought out and were comfortable with well over 10% of their body weight.” 

 

Now I just have to decide what weight to get. Maybe some middle ground, somewhere between 10% and 20%?? Still pondering.

 

Hope you’re coping a little better today, it’s not easy and when you’re in a wave, one day just feels like the next. It’s like one long never ending day. From everything I’ve read though this day always ends eventually, we just don’t know when.

 

Thinking of you and sending hugs🤗🤗

 

”  

[Hazel]

Thanks for the info Carmie.  

Unfortunately, I am still struggling today.  This is one of the longest waves I’ve had.  Usually they last a day or two and then I get a break of a day or so.  This is going on 4 days now without much let up.  I keep telling myself this will pass, but it just keeps going.

Thanks so much for your support.  Hope you had a good day today😊

[Carmie]

10 hours ago, Hazel said:

Thanks for the info Carmie.  

Unfortunately, I am still struggling today.  This is one of the longest waves I’ve had.  Usually they last a day or two and then I get a break of a day or so.  This is going on 4 days now without much let up.  I keep telling myself this will pass, but it just keeps going.

Thanks so much for your support.  Hope you had a good day today😊

 

Sorry you had another bad day Hazel, 

 

I hope the wave subsides soon. It’s a day at a time and during a wave a minute at a time sometimes.

 

Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and sending you more hugs.

 

I’ll let you know how weighted blanket hugs go once I buy one 

 

XXXX

[Hazel]

Thank you Carmie.

I am hoping this ends soon!  Thank you for thinking of me and for your support-it means a lot😊

[DaveB]

5 hours ago, Hazel said:

Thank you Carmie.

I am hoping this ends soon!  Thank you for thinking of me and for your support-it means a lot😊

 

Hazel, I am SO sorry this wave has lasted so long for you. I am like you, I don't know where to go from here or how to pull out of it. I have seriously been considering adding a benzo just to escape the anxiety, but maybe those only help for a little while? I hope you are getting a break today!

[Hazel]

57 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

Hazel, I am SO sorry this wave has lasted so long for you. I am like you, I don't know where to go from here or how to pull out of it. I have seriously been considering adding a benzo just to escape the anxiety, but maybe those only help for a little while? I hope you are getting a break today!

Hi Dave,

I certainly feel for you and understand how hard it is to be suffering for so long.  It really feels like it will never end.  I guess you could say I am having a little relief in symptoms now, but am hesitant to even say that because I know how quickly they return!  This has been the longest and most difficult wave I think I have experienced so far.  

 

I also try to think about what I could possibly do or take to feel better, but unfortunately I don’t think we can do much but wait it out.  I know every time I have tried taking something for relief it has backfired on me and made things worse in the long run.  I know you need to do what is best for you to get through this horrific time, so I would never judge you for doing just that.  You need to take care of yourself the best you can under the circumstances.  

 

I really do think the benzo would only help for a little while and could potentially make things worse.  You have to decide for yourself what you need to do at this point. I am here for you whatever you decide.  I hope things start improving for you today🤞

[Songbird]

10 hours ago, Hazel said:

I also try to think about what I could possibly do or take to feel better, but unfortunately I don’t think we can do much but wait it out.  I know every time I have tried taking something for relief it has backfired on me and made things worse in the long run.

 

This is very common, especially when in bad w/d, it usually isn't such a problem when w/d is mild.  I think the more out of balance our system is, the more sensitive it is to everything and the more likely to react in strange ways.  If you feel the need to do something to help, there are self-help techniques that can be useful, such as gentle exercise (e.g. walking), relaxation exercises, gentle yoga or meditation.  Anything gentle, calming and soothing can be beneficial.  I've found it feels more empowering to do something to help, rather than just having to wait and feeling helpless.  I've also found it best to avoid anything very stimulating, such as scary or intense movies or TV shows, or very intense exercise.  These may be fine when we're feeling stable, but in w/d can be too much sympathetic stimulation.

[Hazel]

I am really scared right now.  I was getting a  little relief on Wednesday and Thursday during the day, but anxiety came back full force yesterday and I am feeling super anxious and just hopeless right now.  I haven't had a wave this bad and last this long throughout this process.  Why am I now getting worse instead of better??

I have been experiencing thoughts about past mistakes that bring a lot of guilt.  I know it is neuro guilt because it is out of proportion to the incident, but no matter how hard I try I can't let it go.  It feels like the the guilt builds into the anxiety and it turns into a vicious cycle.  I haven't slept much this whole week and I'm sure that's not helping.

Not sure what to do anymore?  I have been using coping skills like deep breathing, meditation, walking, Epsom salt baths, etc.  These things sometimes help for a bit, but the anxiety inevitably returns.  It makes it hard for me to function normally.  I don't think I'll be able to continue working if this doesn't let up.  Last week was hard enough.

Please any insight would be greatly appreciated.  Does anyone know of others who have suddenly gotten worse after holding?  I haven't made any changes in the last week that I can think of that would have contributed to this.  I did take a Xanax out of desperation almost 2 weeks ago.  Could that be what's causing this now?

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

[DaveB]

16 hours ago, Hazel said:

I am really scared right now.  I was getting a  little relief on Wednesday and Thursday during the day, but anxiety came back full force yesterday and I am feeling super anxious and just hopeless right now.  I haven't had a wave this bad and last this long throughout this process.  Why am I now getting worse instead of better??

I have been experiencing thoughts about past mistakes that bring a lot of guilt.  I know it is neuro guilt because it is out of proportion to the incident, but no matter how hard I try I can't let it go.  It feels like the the guilt builds into the anxiety and it turns into a vicious cycle.  I haven't slept much this whole week and I'm sure that's not helping.

Not sure what to do anymore?  I have been using coping skills like deep breathing, meditation, walking, Epsom salt baths, etc.  These things sometimes help for a bit, but the anxiety inevitably returns.  It makes it hard for me to function normally.  I don't think I'll be able to continue working if this doesn't let up.  Last week was hard enough.

Please any insight would be greatly appreciated.  Does anyone know of others who have suddenly gotten worse after holding?  I haven't made any changes in the last week that I can think of that would have contributed to this.  I did take a Xanax out of desperation almost 2 weeks ago.  Could that be what's causing this now?

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

 

It is a wave Hazel, a terrible wave that will get better. Rosetta said something to me in my wave that resonated. “Try to focus on something you CAN control rather than focusing on how hard it is.” Like eating cleaner, exercising, some way to improve your health that you can control. I don’t know, it seemed to help me to focus on something I could change, rather than just these awful symptoms and feelings.

[Rabe]

Hi Hazel.

Im so sorry that you are having such difficult days right now.  I have read so many times here how quickly things can change one way or the other and that has helped me understand and better accept the roller coaster this is.  Im sorry you are having the anxiety that seems to have no end sometimes...but it will stop.  I have not tapered since September and still have very bad days.....8 months later.  I sure didn't expect that but I was on the medication for a long time.  

I find yoga breathing specifically for anxiety has helped me Hazel...the two or three sip breathing or the nasal breathing or having the exhale be twice the counts of the inhale..?  The other thing is sometimes trying to stimulate my vagas nerve seems to help....cold, yawning, chanting singing gargling, really focusing on diaphragmatic breathing with a slow long exhale.  And hope you can forgive yourself, Hazel.....you are such a lovely person!  Take care!!!  Hope things get better VERY soon.

 

Could someone explain what a weighted blanket helps with?  I read it can be calming just now...wondering if that truly works?  Thank you.

Take care Hazel!  

[Hazel]

7 hours ago, Rabe said:

Hi Hazel.

Im so sorry that you are having such difficult days right now.  I have read so many times here how quickly things can change one way or the other and that has helped me understand and better accept the roller coaster this is.  Im sorry you are having the anxiety that seems to have no end sometimes...but it will stop.  I have not tapered since September and still have very bad days.....8 months later.  I sure didn't expect that but I was on the medication for a long time.  

I find yoga breathing specifically for anxiety has helped me Hazel...the two or three sip breathing or the nasal breathing or having the exhale be twice the counts of the inhale..?  The other thing is sometimes trying to stimulate my vagas nerve seems to help....cold, yawning, chanting singing gargling, really focusing on diaphragmatic breathing with a slow long exhale.  And hope you can forgive yourself, Hazel.....you are such a lovely person!  Take care!!!  Hope things get better VERY soon.

 

Could someone explain what a weighted blanket helps with?  I read it can be calming just now...wondering if that truly works?  Thank you.

Take care Hazel!  

Thank you Rabe for your reply.  I am trying to keep the faith that things will change and go in the right direction for me soon.  It’s just hard because I haven’t had a wave last this long and so far into the process.  I would have thought I would be seeing more improvement overall by now.  

Deep breathing does help.  I just read some things on the vagus nerve and have been trying to incorporate some of the things you mentioned.  

A weighted blanket as far as I know is calming and good for anxiety as well as sensory disorders such as autism.  I’ve read they can also help with sleep.

[Hazel]

7 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

It is a wave Hazel, a terrible wave that will get better. Rosetta said something to me in my wave that resonated. “Try to focus on something you CAN control rather than focusing on how hard it is.” Like eating cleaner, exercising, some way to improve your health that you can control. I don’t know, it seemed to help me to focus on something I could change, rather than just these awful symptoms and feelings.

Thanks Dave.  I know I start obsessing about how bad I feel in a wave.  This one has been really bad, so it’s hard to see a way out.  They all end eventually, right?  I will try changing my focus on the more positive things I can do to get through this.

[Songbird]

Sorry to see you are having such a rough time.  I don't think this is so much about the Paxil as about all the stuff that's happened -  particularly sertraline withdrawal after long-term use, plus maybe some leftover brain confusion from the trials of Lexapro and Prozac.  I know it's been quite a long time since you stopped the sertraline but it isn't that uncommon to have bad waves for a few years after a cold turkey or very fast taper, especially when switches to other drugs haven't been very successful, as SSRIs don't seem to cover for each other very well.  It looks like you've kept your Paxil dose quite consistent for a while now and that should be helpful by not adding more changes into the mix.  I really hope this waves passes soon and you get a nice window.

[Hazel]

Thank you so much Songbird for the encouragement.  This is definitely the worst wave I have experienced.  I agree that it has more to do with the too fast taper from Zoloft and other changes made after.  I have been staying pretty consistent with the Paxil, so hopefully that will help me to stabilize soon.  

[Rabe]

Hi Hazel!!!  I am so wanted a window to open for you very soon!!!  It is so difficult when the wave lasts for a long time but you are doing so well in spite of it.

Holding you in my thoughts...take care!!!

 

[Hazel]

Thank you so much Rabe-I really appreciate your kind words and support.  Last night into this morning was really tough again, but feeling a bit better now.  I pray this ends soon.

[Rosetta]

Glad you are a bit better, Hazel.  Peace, Rosetta

[Hazel]

Thanks Rosetta,

Unfortunately the anxiety has returned full-force and I am once again really struggling.

 I have a question for anyone that might be able to help.  Much of this wave is around neuro-guilt about something I did back in high school over 20 years ago. I know the guilt is out of proportion to what I did (cheated in a class), but it still makes me feel awful and the anxiety goes sky high.  I guess I am wondering how to manage the guilt to keep it from ramping up my anxiety constantly.  I’m honestly not sure if the anxiety causes the guilt or the guilt causes the anxiety, but it’s pretty awful, and I feel like it’s preventing me from getting out of this wave.  (Or is the wave the cause for the neuro guilt?!).  Any thoughts are appreciated.

[Rosetta]

I think the wave is the cause of the neuro-guilt.  No one cares about cheating in high school.  (Apparently, according to the news, "no one" cares about cheating at all or it sure seems that way!).  It's in the past, it didn't hurt anyone, & you were a kid who was supposed to make mistakes and learn from them -- there are many reasons to forgive yourself.  This is entirely a brain malfunction due to WD.  You need to distract.  You can't have much effect on your guilty feelings by thinking more about them -a little bit of effect, but not enough to get out of the spiral.  You need to redirect, distract and "change the channel."  

 

You are a good person who deserves relief from these feelings about something no one else would think was important.   It is important only to the extent that you learned from the experience, and that's something all kids do -- make mistakes.  Some kids make horrible mistakes that severely injure people.  It's good that you didn't and that that is not what this neuro emotion is attaching to.  So, distract yourself and focus on how much of a better person you are because you made that mistake!

 

Peace, Rosetta

[Hazel]

Oh my goodness, thanks for your kind words Rosetta!  I am at work just freaking out with anxiety and reading this really helps.  I will be rereading this multiple times today I’m sure😊

[SkyBlue]

Hi Hazel, 

 

 It sounds like what you're experiencing is textbook "neuro guilt." The brain for some reason digs through old stuff and it's so unsettling. I'm glad you know it's euro-emotions and that you are riding out this wave.  

 

You mentioned weighted blankets -- here is a thread on them, along with some advice on making them. http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2941-weighted-blankets-bed-tents-for-restlessness-akathisia-insomnia-and-anxiety/?page=2 

 

Hang in there. The wave will break soon and you'll be that much closer to your goal.

 

[Hazel]

Thanks SkyBlue.  Even though I know it is neuro emotions I still can get caught up on the waves of anxiety.  Right now I am dealing with constant, dreadful anxiety that just won’t let up.  I have not had a wave this bad in all of my withdrawal/tapering, so I know that is adding to my fear.  I am doing my best to hang in there and pray you are right and this wave breaks soon.  I can’t take much more of this😔

[Gridley]

Sorry you're feeling this horrible anxiety.  

 

Here's a link on neuroemotions.  

 

 

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, Hazel said:

Thanks Rosetta,

Unfortunately the anxiety has returned full-force and I am once again really struggling.

 I have a question for anyone that might be able to help.  Much of this wave is around neuro-guilt about something I did back in high school over 20 years ago. I know the guilt is out of proportion to what I did (cheated in a class), but it still makes me feel awful and the anxiety goes sky high.  I guess I am wondering how to manage the guilt to keep it from ramping up my anxiety constantly.  I’m honestly not sure if the anxiety causes the guilt or the guilt causes the anxiety, but it’s pretty awful, and I feel like it’s preventing me from getting out of this wave.  (Or is the wave the cause for the neuro guilt?!).  Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

I am sorry you are struggling Hazel, you will get through it. Remember that it wasn't that long ago that things were going very well for you, you will get there again. Try your best to let go of the guilt, it doesn't matter. True confession I cheated in class plenty of times. Not proud of it, but it happened, I am still a good person, just made some bad decisions at times. 

 

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

I think the wave is the cause of the neuro-guilt.  No one cares about cheating in high school.  (Apparently, according to the news, "no one" cares about cheating at all or it sure seems that way!).  It's in the past, it didn't hurt anyone, & you were a kid who was supposed to make mistakes and learn from them -- there are many reasons to forgive yourself.  This is entirely a brain malfunction due to WD.  You need to distract.  You can't have much effect on your guilty feelings by thinking more about them -a little bit of effect, but not enough to get out of the spiral.  You need to redirect, distract and "change the channel."  

 

You are a good person who deserves relief from these feelings about something no one else would think was important.   It is important only to the extent that you learned from the experience, and that's something all kids do -- make mistakes.  Some kids make horrible mistakes that severely injure people.  It's good that you didn't and that that is not what this neuro emotion is attaching to.  So, distract yourself and focus on how much of a better person you are because you made that mistake!

 

Peace, Rosetta

 

Exactly this!

[Hazel]

Thank you Dave.  I am just really scared.  I don’t know why I keep getting worse and worse.  I’m thinking I’m going to have to take time off from work.  I am barely getting by today.  Why such a horrible wave this far into the process?  I don’t get it.

How have you been feeling?

[Hazel]

1 hour ago, Gridley said:

Sorry you're feeling this horrible anxiety.  

 

Here's a link on neuroemotions.  

 

 

Thanks Gridley.  Do you know if this is typical to have such a bad wave this far into withdrawal?  It’s been over 18 months since I took Zoloft and I haven’t come down much from the Paxil since this past January.  Just looking for reassurance as to why this is happening now?

[Gridley]

I think it's common to have a bad wave far past zero.  I read there's often one around ten months in and another...sorry, can't remember when and can't remember the post.  I can't tell you why, but post-zero waves are typical and differ for everyone.      

[Carmie]

8 hours ago, Hazel said:

Thanks Rosetta,

Unfortunately the anxiety has returned full-force and I am once again really struggling.

 I have a question for anyone that might be able to help.  Much of this wave is around neuro-guilt about something I did back in high school over 20 years ago. I know the guilt is out of proportion to what I did (cheated in a class), but it still makes me feel awful and the anxiety goes sky high.  I guess I am wondering how to manage the guilt to keep it from ramping up my anxiety constantly.  I’m honestly not sure if the anxiety causes the guilt or the guilt causes the anxiety, but it’s pretty awful, and I feel like it’s preventing me from getting out of this wave.  (Or is the wave the cause for the neuro guilt?!).  Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

Hi Hazel, 

 

Im sorry you are having such a terrible time with your emotions. Everyone is so kind here with their help, aren’t they?

 

I haven’t read the thread yet in neuro emotions but I know my emotions are all over the place. The smallest things end up being like big catastrophes in my brain. It’s like you’re not yourself, you don’t remember what it’s like to even feel real. I feel like I’m just going through the motions most of the time.

 

I hope your week brightens a little, it’s no fun being in a wave and my heart goes out to you, sending you a MASSIVE BIG HUG xx