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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr

I'm putting this question out there, partly as a reminder to myself, hopefully as a help to others who are struggling...

 

I am in such physical and emotional pain these past few weeks. It is getting unbearable. My wife and I are trying to stick to the commitment not to go back on the meds. But boy, do I think I want to at times. Especially right now.

 

So I'm here to remind myself why I stopped the psych-drug merry-go-round. I hope it helps you too.

 

And I would love to hear your "why" story. It will be encouraging to all of us, I think.

 

Anyway, I went off of the meds because I didn't like who I was as a person, and more and more I got the feeling that the meds were a big part of the reason.

 

I was an angry person all of the time. And selfish. I would give in to rage - even in the most inappropriate situations to do so (like my daughter's 7th birthday party, for instance). I treated my wife horribly. I would go off the rails, feel like killing myself, and take handfuls of the meds at once (wow - I never admitted that ever before). I would fantasize about hanging myself (even though I would never have the guts to do so).

 

And as these things were happening - especially over my last year before going off the meds - there were more and more times where there was a part of me inside of my mind saying "stop it, stop that crazy person" - as if the real me was trapped inside of this raging body that had been taken over by another mind.

 

I had to find out who God created me to be. I even needed to find out what a real relationship with God was like.

 

Turns out that He created me as a pretty nice guy. I'm loving and caring and helpful now (well, as helpful as I can be given the immense physical pain the withdrawal has caused me, and the anxiety that keeps me from running errands some of the time). I was even more engaged in activities during the window as I tapered (completely incorrectly and too fast) and for the first 3 months after I was drug free.

 

And that is part of the problem. I can remember a time during the taper, towards the end, when I was in a "sweet" spot - where there was no withdrawal syndrome, and 90% of the time I was a great guy. I keep fantasizing about going back to that "sweet" spot. But I don't think going back on the drugs after being off for over 4 months would really work - and it could cause actual harm (I fear, for instance, the suicide bug that bites some people during the early days of psycho-med use). Or, it could just cause me to go back down the rabbit-hole of using the psych-meds - and that will bring back evil me.

So I'm writing this to remind myself why I quite the psych-go-round. I hope it helps remind some of you too.

 

SJ

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ChessieCat   
ChessieCat

I started reducing my dose because of what I believe was mild serotonin toxicity.  After trying to reduce to 50mg from 100mg I suffered withdrawal symptoms and then found SA.  An updose to 75mg successfully relieved the symptoms.

 

As my dose got lower my serotonin toxicity symptoms started disappearing.  I knew I had been sweating a lot, but hadn't realised until it went that I had also been experiencing agitation.  I also started feeling more.  This began as starting to feel pleasure in small things and finding things funny then as I got even lower I started laughing out loud.  It wasn't until this happened that I realised that this had been missing.

 

My original plan was to get my dose down to half but after doing a lot of research on ADs I decided that I would see if I could keep tapering and get off.  I am now down to 25mg.  I have been going a bit slower than 10% because the full 10% reduction seemed to bring on withdrawal symptoms.  By reducing by just under 10% my withdrawal symptoms have been very minor.

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JanCarol   
JanCarol

Good topic ShakeyJerr!

 

I too was selfish and irrational, but I was too spellbound (and selfish) to see it.  

 

I had a "breakthrough" when I watched the Sandra Bullock film, "28 Days" in 2000.  Granted, her situation was alcoholism - but when I saw the swathes of wreckage behind her, I knew I needed to start making amends.  I started finding people that I believed I had hurt - and apologizing, and asking forgiveness.

 

My best friend / doctor friend said to me about the movie - "but she was an alcoholic, she made a choice every time she drank.  You have no choice."  (she was fully indoctrinated by then, too)  But I had a feeling that I did have a choice, I could be better in my relations to others, I could take responsibility for my words and deeds.

 

I was stunned to find out how readily people were willing to forgive me - or even that what I imagined as damage - was nothing to them.  Water under the bridge.  People are often much more loving and caring than we give them credit for.

 

It actually caused me to submit more readily to the drugs - especially given my doctor/friend's statement that "I had no choice." 

 

And submit I did.

 

Until, after submitting to wellbutrin, lithium, effexor, dothiepen, reboxetine, seroquel, crestor, ezetimbe, and a PPI - I had metabolic disorder.  I could no longer run across the gym without getting puffed.  My karate - I could only stand 1x2 min round of sparring before collapsing in a heap. I lost my ovaries (surgery), I lost my thyroid (surgery) - could these surgeries have been avoided?  I should not have been given lithium with my thyroid in an active goiter!

 

I stopped the cigarettes.  Some improvement.  A consulting pharmacist (I recommend these, especially as we get older and end up on a lot of "maintenance drugs") told me that the PPI was dangerous in the long term.  I quit.  Some improvement.  I tapered the statins, and no longer wanted to kill myself.  I read Robert Whitaker's "Anatomy of an Epidemic" and became aware that the drugs were making me worse - more chronic, more sick.

 

I started learning.  Will Hall's "Icarus Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs" inspired me.  He had done it, with livid hallucinations.  It could be done (nothing in Robert Whitaker's book tells us how to do it.)  I started hanging out in Mad In America where I found some posts by AltoStrata about SurvivingAntidepressants.  I was well on the way to a long, slow 10% taper by the time I arrived here.  I was terrified - 

 

Because I knew - I had been sick long before I submitted to the drugs and took responsibility for the wreckage I had caused in my life.  I had crashed and burned through relationships, jobs, careers, cars.  I had been taking psych drugs on and off for 15 years before I saw that movie.  And yet that movie caused me to submit more deeply to the drugs - because they told us "that's how you get better."  

I had a "Rule #1:  Take medicines as prescribed."  (FYI, Rule #2 was get enough sleep, Rule #3 was eat well.)

 

Only I didn't get better, I got sicker.  I was a fit, athletic, intelligent person before the drugs.  I had been a yogini, corporate fitness trainer, zen practitioner BEFORE the drugs.  They didn't fix it before - so how was I going to cope without the drugs now?

 

Maybe it's just that I'm older, less dramatic, less impulsive.  Maybe it's that many of my basic needs - food, shelter - are met, and I'm no longer thrashing around for answers.  Maybe it's that I became disillusioned by seeking and by trusting ANYONE in authority - whether guru or doctor.

 

Hugely, it was the awareness - that started in 2000 with the "28 Days" movie - that I was the only one who could fix me.

 

As the drugs gradually went away (this time, no withdrawals, just minor mood swings and physical problems from my complex health condition) - my head started to clear, the skies became more open, the horizon was visible.

 

And I knew then, there'd be no going back.  If I go manic, hubby has some protocols (get me to eat, get me to sleep, get me to exercise) before we consider a p-doc.  I expect I will never need the drugs again, even though my maintenance protocol is intense.

 

It does get better, and I really believe that when I say it to others.

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TikkiTikki   
TikkiTikki

Hi everyone,

 

I'm just wondering what prompted you to begin withdrawing from your ADs? I personally have found it hard to know what to think about my 'illness', my history, what doctors say and what I read here and elsewhere online. I have tapered twice before and experienced what I thought was relapse, and the last time I had such an awful time (7 weeks) before I got relief from beginning the Celexa again that people around me are very surprised I want to quit again.

 

For me, the reasons are:

 

1) weight gain. 25-30 kgs since my last taper 3 years ago. That's 60kg up to nearly 90kg - most around the middle (which I never had before). I feel AWFUL.

 

2) feeling numb/ blunted/ lacking in motivation. I feel like I can't get a grip on my life and make things happen. At times I am DESPERATELY unhappy about my social circle (or lack of) and connection with others, my career/work (kids just off to school in last few years), my health (overweight and unfit), and just feeling like a shadowy, indifferent, bland, bloated version of my real self. I do make changes, resolve to do this and that, but just can't seem to move things enough. And i've tried thinking "well, if it's all so hard, just do what you want and be happy with that." But I'm NOT happy - I feel like I'm wading through quicksand.

 

3) Did I mention the weight gain? And not just the weight gain, but the eating behaviours that go along with it. Craving carbs and sugar, compulsive eating, and the dieting and failing and feeling demoralised.

 

4) Vague indifference to people. Mostly noticed by my partner, and the our deepest-running source of discord since I began taking ADs a decade ago. Only now am I adding up that it probably has to do with the ADs, and not some fatal character flaw. I have struggled SO MUCH with this issue in the last decade and the thought that maybe it could improve if I stopped the ADs makes me want to cry with relief.

 

5) Restless Leg Syndrome. Not sure if this is directly related, but some evidence suggests it is.

 

 

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LostInTheWoods   
LostInTheWoods

Nice topic.

 

To be fair, I'm pretty much an ADHD guy even if I hate how widely the term is applied today in order to promote this AD stuff. Mind is almost always on, thinking and with some propension to develop those thoughts into worriness and obsessive thoughts. It was working until by time I was 27 it sent me to a crippling anxiety that manifested into somatic symptoms and those I couldn’t take before them sending me into panic attacks.

 

Establishment easy path is to apply SSRIs and call it a day. I was prescribed some, took them, for a time worked out more or less. For a brief moment it felt like the dream of being more active and extroverted but it simply does not last, those glorious moments vanish as fast as Cinderella's dress and car and what comes after is a apathetic state where you can't bother to pursue anything, love anyone or look forward to the future beyond eating, sleeping and paying your bills. I think it was the Paxilfree.org site (what happened with it? it was great reference) the one that mentioned it as the "paxil face" as the empty stare of somebody who wouldn't be able to relate with anyone except in a shallow level. And time flies when on drugs: it’s already five years and I keep drifting with the wind, without taking hold on an ideal or loved ones.

 

I'm out because I don't want to wear that face anymore and because I can’t see a bright fulfilling future as a human being where I’m attached to drugs and because as time passes on the symptoms caused by ADs are only going to get worse.. Some of those bad “hyperactive mind” habits may resurface but I’m confident on being able to deal with them now that I have been into the worst of it. Looking at it coldly, there is only one way to be a human being back again.

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manymoretodays   
manymoretodays

I think for me........I finally learned to listen to my inner voice.  And that......I wasn't getting better at all...... just progressively worse.

 

Then the synchronicity.......of hearing a speaker in a training say "listen to your inner voice" and then reading Robert Whitaker's, "Anatomy of an Epidemic" and knowing I could be his poster child.

 

There is probably more but in a nutshell it's kind of like my whole belief system changed over a period of time.  What I once knew to be truth or science was no longer.

 

I am very happy to report a good life at present, a decent life, and such an open canvas as to what comes next.  I can manage it so much better.  This life thing.....this being human.   I know I am through the worst of it as far as withdrawal goes now and I have every hope of a very healthy balanced life.  So good to feel connected again.

 

Thank you.  Good topic.

 

manymoretodays

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SkyBlue   
SkyBlue

Great topic. I started tapering because a) my doctor repeatedly told me I couldn't, and shouldn't. And I listened to this beautiful voice inside me saying, try it. <3  I'd wanted to come off it for years. Paxil just wasn't working--I had doubts about whether it ever did work very much, but I knew stopping it would be a bear because of how awful I felt when I missed a dose (that happened maybe twice in 19 years -- it's not a mistake you make more than once or twice). After getting treated for a sleep disorder, I felt so much better emotionally that I felt strong enough to give it a try.

 

A lot of people say that they stopped meds because of side effects. I don't have any adult experience not on psych meds, so I didn't even realize all of the side effects I was experiencing. As the side effects lessen or clear as I'm tapering down, each one feels like a bonus. 

 

Thinking about this makes me feel proud -- thanks for asking the question! 

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SkyBlue   
SkyBlue

I think for me........I finally learned to listen to my inner voice.  

 

many more todays, I love that -- listening to your inner voice. <3 What a gift, and how wonderful that you're open to it. 

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Jennifer78   
Jennifer78

Thanks SJ for starting this topic. It's interesting hearing from other people & about why we've decided to give this a shot.

 

I decided to do this because I was so over medicated I couldn't even drive or take care of our 2 Goddaughters. I was falling asleep @ the wheel or just trying to take care of the girls. I also felt so numb. I couldn't think an hour ahead because I felt nothing, no joy or sadness. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I thought maybe I had a brain tumor or something. I prayed & prayed about it and it came to me one day that it was the meds. I was put on meds 15 years ago for stress and when I went to Dr and I would tell him how I felt on med he would either up the dose or add another med. I was told I had a chemical imbalance & I would need these meds for the rest of my life. I felt so awful hearing that but I thought the Dr knew better then me. I lost my health insurance in December so I couldn't afford all the meds so I stopped taking all of them except Wellbutrin. I was told not to stop Wellbutrin cold turkey because it could cause deadly seizures so that why I'm still on it. Im going to try to taper off Wellbutrin but I was advised by someone on here that I should probably get stable before I messed with tapering Wellbutrin. I don't know if or what side effects I've had from meds because I was to scared to read the med insert that listed side effects. Honestly I'm scared to death but I'm over 5 months in now so I'm just taking it day by day. I've never experienced this kind of depression or other symptoms till I stopped meds. The only time I experienced anxiety is when I did something wrong and I was worried about the consequences, now anxiety through the roof. I'm trying to focus on success stories so anyone that has posted a true success story, I can't thank you enough!!

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Rob66   
Rob66

Very good topic! I started weaning simply because I'm tired of the side effects. After years of searching for answers to health issues, I finally realized it's my drug that's causing my issues and nothing else. Only took 10 years of going in circles to find that out. I like to think I've drastically improved my health in the process. So there is some positives. I was conned into thinking that getting off AD'S wasn't an option and that I would be on them for life. After 2 failed attempts to wean off zoloft, I was convinced that there was no other alternative than to keep on taking it. Mind you my other attempts were no better than cold turkey (Insert doctor shaming here) Not until I found this site did I have renewed faith that it could be accomplished if done correctly. So here I am loaded with new knowledge giving it another try.

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr

I'm putting this question out there, partly as a reminder to myself, hopefully as a help to others who are struggling...

 

I am in such physical and emotional pain these past few weeks. It is getting unbearable. My wife and I are trying to stick to the commitment not to go back on the meds. But boy, do I think I want to at times. Especially right now.

 

So I'm here to remind myself why I stopped the psych-drug merry-go-round. I hope it helps you too.

 

And I would love to hear your "why" story. It will be encouraging to all of us, I think.

 

Anyway, I went off of the meds because I didn't like who I was as a person, and more and more I got the feeling that the meds were a big part of the reason.

 

I was an angry person all of the time. And selfish. I would give in to rage - even in the most inappropriate situations to do so (like my daughter's 7th birthday party, for instance). I treated my wife horribly. I would go off the rails, feel like killing myself, and take handfuls of the meds at once (wow - I never admitted that ever before). I would fantasize about hanging myself (even though I would never have the guts to do so).

 

And as these things were happening - especially over my last year before going off the meds - there were more and more times where there was a part of me inside of my mind saying "stop it, stop that crazy person" - as if the real me was trapped inside of this raging body that had been taken over by another mind.

 

I had to find out who God created me to be. I even needed to find out what a real relationship with God was like.

 

Turns out that He created me as a pretty nice guy. I'm loving and caring and helpful now (well, as helpful as I can be given the immense physical pain the withdrawal has caused me, and the anxiety that keeps me from running errands some of the time). I was even more engaged in activities during the window as I tapered (completely incorrectly and too fast) and for the first 3 months after I was drug free.

 

And that is part of the problem. I can remember a time during the taper, towards the end, when I was in a "sweet" spot - where there was no withdrawal syndrome, and 90% of the time I was a great guy. I keep fantasizing about going back to that "sweet" spot. But I don't think going back on the drugs after being off for over 4 months would really work - and it could cause actual harm (I fear, for instance, the suicide bug that bites some people during the early days of psycho-med use). Or, it could just cause me to go back down the rabbit-hole of using the psych-meds - and that will bring back evil me.

 

So I'm writing this to remind myself why I quite the psych-go-round. I hope it helps remind some of you too.

 

SJ

 

I had to re-read this today. Having a real tough time and my mind is obsessing over going back on the meds just to get away from the withdrawal symptoms.

 

SJ

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Lilu   
Lilu

Hi everyone,

 

I'm just wondering what prompted you to begin withdrawing from your ADs? I personally have found it hard to know what to think about my 'illness', my history, what doctors say and what I read here and elsewhere online. I have tapered twice before and experienced what I thought was relapse, and the last time I had such an awful time (7 weeks) before I got relief from beginning the Celexa again that people around me are very surprised I want to quit again.

 

For me, the reasons are:

 

1) weight gain. 25-30 kgs since my last taper 3 years ago. That's 60kg up to nearly 90kg - most around the middle (which I never had before). I feel AWFUL.

 

2) feeling numb/ blunted/ lacking in motivation. I feel like I can't get a grip on my life and make things happen. At times I am DESPERATELY unhappy about my social circle (or lack of) and connection with others, my career/work (kids just off to school in last few years), my health (overweight and unfit), and just feeling like a shadowy, indifferent, bland, bloated version of my real self. I do make changes, resolve to do this and that, but just can't seem to move things enough. And i've tried thinking "well, if it's all so hard, just do what you want and be happy with that." But I'm NOT happy - I feel like I'm wading through quicksand.

 

3) Did I mention the weight gain? And not just the weight gain, but the eating behaviours that go along with it. Craving carbs and sugar, compulsive eating, and the dieting and failing and feeling demoralised.

 

4) Vague indifference to people. Mostly noticed by my partner, and the our deepest-running source of discord since I began taking ADs a decade ago. Only now am I adding up that it probably has to do with the ADs, and not some fatal character flaw. I have struggled SO MUCH with this issue in the last decade and the thought that maybe it could improve if I stopped the ADs makes me want to cry with relief.

 

5) Restless Leg Syndrome. Not sure if this is directly related, but some evidence suggests it is.

 

Oh, I so relate to your words.  I've recently raised the dose of medication, but all I feel is BLAH - "the emotional equivalent of watching paint dry".  

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myndfull   
myndfull

I stopped for many of the reasons stated: weight gain, a growing drinking problem, an "I'm always right attitude"--narcissism, paranoia, an emotional numbness, a growing dysfunctional emotional relationship with my wife and kids, a growing indifference to my job and the people I worked with, etc. Once I stopped drinking alcohol six years ago (not drinking much really--two beers a day with a snuck-in bottle of vodka once a week, but too much for me and my family), I realized I needed to get rid of the other monkey on my back--Paxil. I read Robert Whitaker's book and I was convinced I and millions of others had been duped by the money-sucking monster we call Big Pharma. I wanted them off my back, too, and out of my life.

I had a hard time at first because I was doing it all wrong--not 10% of the last dose, but eye-balling pill cuts, cutting them with a razor blade or using my wife's nail file, and I wanted it to be over as soon as possible. I'd tried to end my Paxil addiction at least three times over the years, but finally started to do it the right way three years ago--with this site's help and guidance. I've had to retire two years early--I'll be 60 in a month because I wasn't very functional at work anymore. Fortunately, the financial hardships of doing that have not been so bad.

Since I began my 10% per month taper I've lost twenty pounds. My relationship with my wife and kids is better. My emotions are all over the map, so I'm living through a windows and waves instability that gets really bad at times (I recently dropped 16% and it cost me...).  But I'm getting very low and I'm beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. 

When I'm feeling my worst I ask myself "Has this suffering been worth it?" My wife, son and daughter take anti-dressants (SSRI's) and they're functioning pretty well. Why don't I just go back to 20 mL of Celexa a day and call it quits? Give up! (BTW: When I started my taper I shifted from Paxil to Celexa to make the transition easier.) But then I think about how far I've come. I'm generally not a quitter. I'm a bit insufferable about finishing things. I generally don't start anything unless I'm willing to work through to the end. And, again, I absolutely loathe Big Pharma and its profit-over-people culture. The only way I can punish them is to stop giving them my money. So, I carry on. 

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr
On 4/27/2017 at 6:14 PM, ShakeyJerr said:

I'm putting this question out there, partly as a reminder to myself, hopefully as a help to others who are struggling...

 

I am in such physical and emotional pain these past few weeks. It is getting unbearable. My wife and I are trying to stick to the commitment not to go back on the meds. But boy, do I think I want to at times. Especially right now.

 

So I'm here to remind myself why I stopped the psych-drug merry-go-round. I hope it helps you too.

 

And I would love to hear your "why" story. It will be encouraging to all of us, I think.

 

Anyway, I went off of the meds because I didn't like who I was as a person, and more and more I got the feeling that the meds were a big part of the reason.

 

I was an angry person all of the time. And selfish. I would give in to rage - even in the most inappropriate situations to do so (like my daughter's 7th birthday party, for instance). I treated my wife horribly. I would go off the rails, feel like killing myself, and take handfuls of the meds at once (wow - I never admitted that ever before). I would fantasize about hanging myself (even though I would never have the guts to do so).

 

And as these things were happening - especially over my last year before going off the meds - there were more and more times where there was a part of me inside of my mind saying "stop it, stop that crazy person" - as if the real me was trapped inside of this raging body that had been taken over by another mind.

 

I had to find out who God created me to be. I even needed to find out what a real relationship with God was like.

 

Turns out that He created me as a pretty nice guy. I'm loving and caring and helpful now (well, as helpful as I can be given the immense physical pain the withdrawal has caused me, and the anxiety that keeps me from running errands some of the time). I was even more engaged in activities during the window as I tapered (completely incorrectly and too fast) and for the first 3 months after I was drug free.

 

And that is part of the problem. I can remember a time during the taper, towards the end, when I was in a "sweet" spot - where there was no withdrawal syndrome, and 90% of the time I was a great guy. I keep fantasizing about going back to that "sweet" spot. But I don't think going back on the drugs after being off for over 4 months would really work - and it could cause actual harm (I fear, for instance, the suicide bug that bites some people during the early days of psycho-med use). Or, it could just cause me to go back down the rabbit-hole of using the psych-meds - and that will bring back evil me.

So I'm writing this to remind myself why I quite the psych-go-round. I hope it helps remind some of you too.

 

SJ

 

Having a really bad day. Had to re-read this a couple of times to remind me of why I don;t go back on these meds...

 

SJ

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PatriciaVP   
PatriciaVP

I was not doing well at all on the meds. I was working out 1 hrs a day four days a week at one of those "boot camp" programs and eating nothing but lean protein and vegetables. Physically I was probably in the best shape of my life. I was also taking a butt load of amphetamines, but still managed to sleep most of the day away. I didn't care about anything or anyone. I forgot what it felt like to get excited about anything. You could tell me I won a million dollars and I'd just shrug and think of all the potential problems it would cause.

 

Something was obviously wrong. I remember lying in bed one day thinking that if this was all my life was ever going to be, I really didn't want to bother. It was then that I stumbled across Anatomy of an Epidemic, and light finally dawned. All the exercise and nutrition in the world couldn't overcome the poisons that I was piling into my body.

 

It's been terribly hard and I wonder every day how much longer I can stand it. When I think about it, though, I realize that I have made great strides. There is clear evidence that I am healing.

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Looking4peace   
Looking4peace

Oh brother, the post I was looking for.

Still after over a year off Effexor (with an incorrect taper from Doctor) I continue to suffer.

my withdrawal continues to show me new emotional anguish each day. I'm exhausted from spontaneous crying, self doubt, OCD, anxiety, worry...you get the idea. I'm back to the question, do I just give in and try the Effexor again? Do I just deal with the side effects from the poison or do I suffer miserably and HOPE I come out on the other side. I'm like an emotional tornado, damaging everyone around me (perceived) waiting for the next catastrophic think to happen that will finally bankrupt me financially and emotionally.

 

I want to continue the fight, I want to see if in the end it gets better. But boy, the urge to give in and try the poison again has me feeling like an addict rather than a survivor.

 

thanks for the post, we all have such personal battles to fight here. These drugs tap into our worst fears and use it against us everyday.

 

best of luck to everyone!

please feel free to message me, something about seeing a message from others going through helps give energy to the fight

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ShakeyJerr   
ShakeyJerr
8 minutes ago, Looking4peace said:

Oh brother, the post I was looking for.

Still after over a year off Effexor (with an incorrect taper from Doctor) I continue to suffer.

my withdrawal continues to show me new emotional anguish each day. I'm exhausted from spontaneous crying, self doubt, OCD, anxiety, worry...you get the idea. I'm back to the question, do I just give in and try the Effexor again? Do I just deal with the side effects from the poison or do I suffer miserably and HOPE I come out on the other side. I'm like an emotional tornado, damaging everyone around me (perceived) waiting for the next catastrophic think to happen that will finally bankrupt me financially and emotionally.

 

I want to continue the fight, I want to see if in the end it gets better. But boy, the urge to give in and try the poison again has me feeling like an addict rather than a survivor.

 

thanks for the post, we all have such personal battles to fight here. These drugs tap into our worst fears and use it against us everyday.

 

best of luck to everyone!

please feel free to message me, something about seeing a message from others going through helps give energy to the fight

 

Write out for us here why you stopped the meds. Going through your reasons will help you understand the importance of why you did it. Then at bad times, you can come back here and re-read your own post and it will strengthen you.

 

SJ

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powerback   
powerback
3 hours ago, Looking4peace said:

rOh brother, the post I was looking for.

Still after over a year off Effexor (with an incorrect taper from Doctor) I continue to suffer.

my withdrawal continues to show me new emotional anguish each day. I'm exhausted from spontaneous crying, self doubt, OCD, anxiety, worry...you get the idea. I'm back to the question, do I just give in and try the Effexor again? Do I just deal with the side effects from the poison or do I suffer miserably and HOPE I come out on the other side. I'm like an emotional tornado, damaging everyone around me (perceived) waiting for the next catastrophic think to happen that will finally bankrupt me financially and emotionally.

 

I want to continue the fight, I want to see if in the end it gets better. But boy, the urge to give in and try the poison again has me feeling like an addict rather than a survivor.

 

thanks for the post, we all have such personal battles to fight here. These drugs tap into our worst fears and use it against us everyday.

 

best of luck to everyone!

please feel free to message me, something about seeing a message from others going through helps give energy to the fight

hi looking4peace your forgetting the most important point ,the damage done to you from the lies spinned to you from these doctors/big pharma lapdogs .history will show it as a sham .[not saying your damaged but you get my drift].

peace to you and we never stop the fight .

PB

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