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Have you recovered from being on antidepressants for 10 years or more?

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Frogie
20 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

More like stuck in place.  Been holding because I've been dealing with symptoms including hellacious insomnia.  One step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, one step back, etc.  It only really sucks when it's one step foward 3 or 4 steps back.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Andy:

 

I'm sorry you still aren't sleeping. 

 

My problem is I want to just sit with Brownie and take naps. I have no motivation. I don't know how to get over that.

 

I will give you my sleep if you can give me some pointers on motivation lol...

 

Hopefully you will get some good rest soon.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

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Downbutnotout
20 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Thanks, DBNO.  We sure do.  I wonder if there are any more "older" people on this forum.  I have searched and found only one 70 year old gentleman.  I guess I am the oldest one so far.  I'm surprised because I know they are all being medicated to beat the band!

I am 67. My mother used to say, “the golden years is not for sissy’s.” I guess Betty Davis said that.  I am feeling very geriatric today. You’re right about that. All I’ve done today is tap tap on here. 

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Frogie
2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

I am 67. My mother used to say, “the golden years is not for sissy’s.” I guess Betty Davis said that.  I am feeling very geriatric today. You’re right about that. All I’ve done today is tap tap on here. 

I'm 54 but I've been on these meds 21 years now!

 

You might ask how old Flowers and Grandma D (I think that's her name)?

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Downbutnotout
Just now, Frogie said:

I'm 54 but I've been on these meds 21 years now!

I beat you out, I was 42 when I took the first pill. It’s so sad because I wasn’t really depressed at the time. I’d heard prozac was a miracle drug. It was on the cover of time magazine. However, I did have some hellacious depressions, and felt I had no choice later but to take a drug to get out of them. I was perfectly content with the idea I’d just have to take them the rest of my life. I did go off 3 years ago, and it was wonderful for 5 months. I wish that would happen now. I could cry, laugh, have great fun, enjoy food, etc. 

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Frogie
Just now, Downbutnotout said:

I beat you out, I was 42 when I took the first pill. It’s so sad because I wasn’t really depressed at the time. I’d heard prozac was a miracle drug. It was on the cover of time magazine. However, I did have some hellacious depressions, and felt I had no choice later but to take a drug to get out of them. I was perfectly content with the idea I’d just have to take them the rest of my life. I did go off 3 years ago, and it was wonderful for 5 months. I wish that would happen now. I could cry, laugh, have great fun, enjoy food, etc. 

I was only supposed to take it while I was going through my divorce. He's on his second wife now since our divorce. Must have been a really long divorce lol... I cry, sometimes laugh, don't enjoy a lot of food, and don't want to leave the house at all. I just want to sit in my chair with Brownie and do nothing. I'm getting really good at that.

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Downbutnotout
2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

I beat you out, I was 42 when I took the first pill. It’s so sad because I wasn’t really depressed at the time. I’d heard prozac was a miracle drug. It was on the cover of time magazine. However, I did have some hellacious depressions, and felt I had no choice later but to take a drug to get out of them. I was perfectly content with the idea I’d just have to take them the rest of my life. I did go off 3 years ago, and it was wonderful for 5 months. I wish that would happen now. I could cry, laugh, have great fun, enjoy food, etc. If I knew the consequences of doing that, I  wouldn’t have. It’s ruined by life. 

 

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Downbutnotout
Just now, Frogie said:

I was only supposed to take it while I was going through my divorce. He's on his second wife now since our divorce. Must have been a really long divorce lol... I cry, sometimes laugh, don't enjoy a lot of food, and don't want to leave the house at all. I just want to sit in my chair with Brownie and do nothing. I'm getting really good at that.

Aw, you mean your doctor offered it because you were going through a divorce? I know they offer to people if their spouses die. It’s really sick. I am looking forward to the day I can laugh again. I almost felt like crying, but very little tears come out. This is the hardest thing for me. I might try to buy that anxiety stuff and try it. I am very tempted to get off the 5 beads and the trazadone to see if I get some feelings back. I am really missing that. Brownie must be liking it. Sounds like you have some feelings. That’s a good thing. 

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Frogie
Just now, Downbutnotout said:

Aw, you mean your doctor offered it because you were going through a divorce? I know they offer to people if their spouses die. It’s really sick. I am looking forward to the day I can laugh again. I almost felt like crying, but very little tears come out. This is the hardest thing for me. I might try to buy that anxiety stuff and try it. I am very tempted to get off the 5 beads and the trazadone to see if I get some feelings back. I am really missing that. Brownie must be liking it. Sounds like you have some feelings. That’s a good thing. 

Taper, don't stop! You will regret it!

You could try that Rescue Remedy, works for me, but talk to a mod about it and make sure it's ok for you to take.

I have a lot of feelings, unfortunately, they just make me cry.

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Downbutnotout
46 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

More like stuck in place.  Been holding because I've been dealing with symptoms including hellacious insomnia.  One step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, one step back, etc.  It only really sucks when it's one step foward 3 or 4 steps back.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Oh insomnia is one of the worst things. You look like you’re at the end of your taper. Looks like you’ve been through the gamut of drugs. At least your going up, down and up. 

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Downbutnotout
10 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Taper, don't stop! You will regret it!

You could try that Rescue Remedy, works for me, but talk to a mod about it and make sure it's ok for you to take.

I have a lot of feelings, unfortunately, they just make me cry.

I’m updosing, and haven’t done anything with the trazadone which I do not like. I don’t think I reinstated high enough on the effexor. I don’t think these beads are doing anything. The only mod that talks to me is Ali who is not around right now. I am feeling anxiety right now and it makes me afraid to do much. I never used to be like this before I did the fast wd 3 years ago. Effexor actually works on anxiety and i don’t have enough to do squat. I have avitan, but I don’t want to get hooked on it. The psychiatrist told me I could use 1/2 tab 3 times a day. It made me feel good initially, but then manic and depressed. You are lucky you have feelings, but not lucky they are sad ones. I do feel sad and angry,  but I just cant cry.  I told my 95 yo aunt I’d visit her, but now I’m regretting it. She’s a handful, and wants all her dead relatives phone number. 

Did they say you could use the Rescue Remedy? 

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Downbutnotout
13 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Taper, don't stop! You will regret it!

You could try that Rescue Remedy, works for me, but talk to a mod about it and make sure it's ok for you to take.

I have a lot of feelings, unfortunately, they just make me cry.

If there is a mod reading this, is Rescue Remedy okay to take? 

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Downbutnotout
25 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Taper, don't stop! You will regret it!

You could try that Rescue Remedy, works for me, but talk to a mod about it and make sure it's ok for you to take.

I have a lot of feelings, unfortunately, they just make me cry.

I looked up rescue remedy and I only found one that is for pets? Is there one for humans? Do you give it to Brownie too? 

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Frogie
2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

I looked up rescue remedy and I only found one that is for pets? Is there one for humans? Do you give it to Brownie too? 

 I will answer you on your thread. We need to get off of here.

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Happy2Heal
8 hours ago, RealMe said:

Thanks, DBNO.  We sure do.  I wonder if there are any more "older" people on this forum.  I have searched and found only one 70 year old gentleman.  I guess I am the oldest one so far.  I'm surprised because I know they are all being medicated to beat the band!

just turned 62 so I'm getting up there...there are some others in our age range, they are just hard to find, you're right.

 

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RealMe
2 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

just turned 62 so I'm getting up there...there are some others in our age range, they are just hard to find, you're right.

 

You're sweet to include me in "our age range," considering you're a mere babe of 62 (just turned)! :)

 

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Happy2Heal

hahaha, mere babe, I like that! thanks.

Some days I feel very old indeed.

I sent you a PM, it was supposed to be short but I ended up rambling a bit, sorry

 

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Downbutnotout
35 minutes ago, RealMe said:

You're sweet to include me in "our age range," considering you're a mere babe of 62 (just turned)! :)

 

I can’t believe I’m dealing with this garbage now. I was going to go to my 50th hs reunion because I was feeling good about myself. Not so much now. I feel like a crazy mental case who is very sad. All the crap I did while under the influence of these drugs is so humiliating. I acted like a fool. I totally ruined a family trip in June. My kids are sad because their mom went away and this creature took her place.

 

 And the doctor was just trying to get me where I was before. I will never feel the same about myself. I lived this long and this had to happen to me. I am so sad about it. 

 

The good news is I felt a little bit more like myself since I went to visit my aunt till now. But I am tap tapping on here.

 

The problem is I have to take trazadone and get up feeling like garbage again. I think it causes anxiety in the morning when it wears out. Then I can’t get myself up and I ruminate. I really think trazadone is a bad drug for me. I’d like to start wd from it soon. 

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peng

I am about 72.7 years. First prescribed psychotropic drugs in 1977.  On and off them since.  Mostly on.

 

Inspired by this site and what you Americans call "poop out" of effexor at 225mg, I am now down to 69mg on the exponential downtapering strongly advocated on SA.  i.e. no more than a 10% reduction of current dose each 28 days.  Holding where necessary.

 

Clearly, it is never too late, and I feel positivity on many days now.  Some days still feel crap - thanks for another great word, Yanks.

 

Some of you guys in distress have messed up (or been messed up by others) by chopping and changing your doses and medication, it would appear.  Not being hard on you - feeling sorry for you getting caught that way.  Do try and stick to the recommendations on here is what I would strongly suggest after my recent years' experiences.

 

Love and good luck.

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Happy2Heal

so good to hear from you Peng, I knew there were others who are older and have very long drugged/medicated histories like mine.

great job on getting to where you are now! I so admire the folks who are smart enough and patient enough to do the long tapers. I wish I'd not messed up mine- I could have saved myself a LOT of needless pain and suffering, but what's done is done. At least I am lucky to be healing very well now.

 

just curious, were you mostly prescribed antidepressants or were you given other types of psych drugs as well? 

 

 

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peng

I was initially prescribed the benzo Ativan in 1977, Happy2Heal.

I think I was taking it for period 1977-84, but had gap(s) when off it.

I weaned myself off it twice.

I was cutting the tabs into halves, quarters and smaller slivers to reduce.

My GP said "Oh you dont have to do that.  Just stop - it's a small dose anyway."

As we know, the patients with lived experience will often know more than the "experts" who have been told how harmless and non-addictive these drugs are.

 

 

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Offforgood
On 1/6/2018 at 9:53 PM, RealMe said:

Hi Offforgood,

Please don't give up.  I know it feels like it, but five months is not a long time.  I started withdrawing from prescribed medication in August, and I have had many days where I felt like I couldn't go on.  Keep talking to the people on this site, and you will get help.  So many people have been working at this for a long time, and they all say there is hope.  I've been reading books by Breggin, Glenmullen and now William Glasser's Reality Therapy.  At least I can read; that's a big improvement for me.  We don't have to do this for years.  Just get through this one day.

 

Did anything happen to put extra stress on you today?  Maybe if you talk about it, it will help a little.  When I say I want to give up, I usually mean that I am at the end of my ability to cope with the pain I'm feeling.  Maybe someone on this site can offer something that will give you some small good emotional feeling, some hope or some comfort.  Please tell me more about your day today.

Best wishes for hope and healing,

RealMe

Now been off meds for 10 months, it seems the only feelings coming back are negative and painful..Still don't feel any joy or happiness in life still feel hopeless and fearful.. have had some so called not as negative days but still no motivation and still anger at what 28 yrs of going off and on these ad meds have done to me..I feel like I have CT so many ad meds on drs advice since I was on such a "low dose" that brain is fried!  People around me say that I m getting better but feel like I m just faking it ... I don't know if I will ever feel joy in anything anymore... 

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Tootsieroll
2 hours ago, Offforgood said:

Now been off meds for 10 months, it seems the only feelings coming back are negative and painful..Still don't feel any joy or happiness in life still feel hopeless and fearful.. have had some so called not as negative days but still no motivation and still anger at what 28 yrs of going off and on these ad meds have done to me..I feel like I have CT so many ad meds on drs advice since I was on such a "low dose" that brain is fried!  People around me say that I m getting better but feel like I m just faking it ... I don't know if I will ever feel joy in anything anymore... 

 

Will you heal?-  You will!!

Will you feel joy again?-  You will!!

 

Time period all depends on your individual body and how well it detoxes and restores.  But with each day of crumminess, you are still healing underneath it all.  Does a scar heal quickly?  No. It first toughens and gets inflamed and then slowly the scar fades with time.  Takes a lot of awful patience, but you do get there.  I call what you are feeling the 'dark night of the soul'.  I've been there.  Try to pass time to trick your brain into finding the smallest bit of light.  Find the most hilarious comedy clip and laugh out loud even though you still feel like crap. Somehow your brain remembers that moment.

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RealMe
2 hours ago, Tootsieroll said:

 Find the most hilarious comedy clip and laugh out loud even though you still feel like crap. Somehow your brain remembers that moment.

 

4 hours ago, Offforgood said:

I don't know if I will ever feel joy in anything anymore... 

Tootsieroll's advice is very good.  I have been watching Schitt's Creek on Netflix and have laughed out loud at the characters' antics, especially Moira.  If there is anything on tv that you used to find funny, turn it on and watch it.  Try some new comedies.  Give them a try.  It helps your brain even if you don't feel it right away--so important for the part of the brain that reacts emotionally and automatically to see the light side of anything.  Let us know if you do this.

 

Have you had the experience of momentary joy?  Like a pleasant feeling when you look at a flower, a pretty girl or handsome guy?  Take note of that, and try to see more of the same.  I had that kind of moment when I looked at some tulips a while back.  I find I can build on experiences like this.

 

Check this site for how to handle symptoms.  Sometimes a simple remedy can reap big benefits.

 

I agree with Tootsieroll that you will feel better.  The brain and body are amazing creations and can recover from unbelievable trauma with some loving care and practical nourishment.  I had that fear as well, but the improvement I have experienced thus far are spurring me on.  I wish the same for you.  Please record any positive outcomes, no matter how insignificant they seem.  It helps.

 

Best of healing to you, new friend.

xo RM

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