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kangamangus: Coming off Zoloft after 9 years


kangamangus

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My DP/DR is a little bit better right now. I am writing this so I can look back tomorrow and remember this.

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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13 hours ago, kangamangus said:

My DP/DR is a little bit better right now. I am writing this so I can look back tomorrow and remember this.

Very frustrated today. Just so tired of all of this mess. Yes my DP/DR seems better at night but am I just imagining it? The constant questioning of myself is so draining. I so badly just want to live my life and be happy, but it seems so far out of reach. So tired of it all. I am also twitching quite a bit today as well. I need a break.

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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3 minutes ago, kangamangus said:

The constant questioning of myself is so draining.

I feel this for sure. My symptoms are quite different from yours, but when they lessen in severity  I find myself confused and obsessive about whether they're improving or if I'm just coping/distracting better. It's kind of an impossible question and I know a bit useless to worry about, but of course it doesn't keep myself from doing it. 

Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg

May 2016-June 2016 15mg

June 2016-August 2016 10mg

October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey

January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg 

February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. 

May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total).

early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 

mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August

reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution

Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017  3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018

June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019

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5 hours ago, kangamangus said:

Very frustrated today. Just so tired of all of this mess. Yes my DP/DR seems better at night but am I just imagining it? The constant questioning of myself is so draining. I so badly just want to live my life and be happy, but it seems so far out of reach. So tired of it all. I am also twitching quite a bit today as well. I need a break.

Hoping you catch a nice long break. Xo

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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Still stuck in the middle of DP/DR hell, but I think it might have been a little bit better today. Perhaps I am just getting better at accepting it. Just still very tired of all of it. When I am depressed I think "Oh I would rather have the DP/DR this is the worst" and when I am in the middle of DP/DR I think "God I wish I could just be depressed again, at least I would feel like a human then". Its exhausting. Just feeling like an alien today. The world is so weird and I am stuck in it. Just have to accept that I am going to feel like this and try to do the best than I can. Thats all I can do. Just surviving day to day right now. 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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4 hours ago, kangamangus said:

Just have to accept that I am going to feel like this and try to do the best than I can. Thats all I can do. Just surviving day to day right now. 

 

It seems like you are doing nothing, but you are actually doing what is needed at this time.  You have the right attitude and it will help you to get through this.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Hey Kang!

How are you today?

<3

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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23 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

It seems like you are doing nothing, but you are actually doing what is needed at this time.  You have the right attitude and it will help you to get through this.

Thank you, I have become better at accepting things instead of fighting them. 

 

10 hours ago, DMV64 said:

Hey Kang!

How are you today?

<3

Hey there DMV. Today has been interesting. Woke up today with the DP/DR and it stuck with me most of the day. It definitely wasn't as bad as it was the past few days though so that was good. Just a fog hanging over me and making me feel weird. Then I guess about an hour or so ago I kind of felt the DP/DR "lift" off of me, and it was replaced by the familiar depression. Just a deep ache in my soul and tension in my body. I have also become very shaky since this happened. Overall though I think the depression is better than it was in the past, so I am trying to stay hopeful. I still don't feel great, but I have definitely felt worse in the past. Just taking it a day at a time. My mother was really pushing me to find a job today so I guess I need to get started on that. Very nervous about it though, as my days are so difficult and I never really know how I am going to feel. I hope you are well, thank you for checking on me :) 

 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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A day of horrible depression. Just this horrible ache inside my body and deep sadness and dread. DP/DR seems to be gone but I am left with this. Seems like I can't get a break. I just don't know what to do. Those thoughts of permanent damage are popping into my head again. I haven't even tapered off of my meds and I am like this. I'm scared. 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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17 minutes ago, kangamangus said:

A day of horrible depression. Just this horrible ache inside my body and deep sadness and dread. DP/DR seems to be gone but I am left with this. Seems like I can't get a break. I just don't know what to do. Those thoughts of permanent damage are popping into my head again. I haven't even tapered off of my meds and I am like this. I'm scared. 

Kang!

i am with you! We can do this.  I have not started my taper yet either and experiencing some of the same thing. We just have to take it a moment at a time. 

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello everybody. It's been almost a month since I have posted and I wanted to check back in with everyone. Thank you to the people who messaged me to check up on me, I really appreciate it. I decided to step back from the forums for a bit, as I found myself becoming a little bit obsessed. I would still check in occasionally to read peoples threads, but not nearly as much as I used to when I would spend time on the forums every day. I also have stayed away out of shame, as about a month ago I relapsed and used drugs again for the first time in a long time. I did cocaine and drank alcohol, and it definitely set me back and was not worth it at all. In fact it hardly had any sort of effect on me. I was desperate to feel good again though, so I relapsed. I regret it, but it happened. I wanted to share that with you all so I could hold myself accountable and look back and read this in the future if I have any more cravings. Moving on-

 

Overall, I am doing better than I was. Despite my relapse I really feel like I have turned a corner, and I hope that it continues. My depression is down quite a bit, although I still feel pretty "numb" so to speak. My DP/DR is still hanging around but it is not nearly as bad as it has been in the past. I'm finding it easier and easier to accept it and move on from it. Existential thoughts still bother me, but I try to just acknowledge the thoughts and move on from them. I started to take the "adrenal cocktail" as my doctor suspects I am suffering from adrenal fatigue. I mix OJ, Himalayan pink salt, and cream of tartar. Since I started taking that I noticed the twitches in my body have gone away almost completely and the DP/DR has let up quite a bit. I don't think its just a placebo, it really feels like its making a difference. Still have tinnitus, but it really doesn't bother me all that much. My biggest issue right now is just feeling like I am missing out on things. Its rare that I actually enjoy something and feel good, so I feel like my experiences aren't really valid right now as it's not really "me" experiencing these things. I wish so much that I was free of these drugs already and able to enjoy life and experience things as myself. I'll get there one day though, and I am not going to rush myself.

 

Since I am finally feeling some real improvements, I am planning on staying at my current doses and supplements for as long as possible before commencing my taper. Currently I take 62.5mg Zoloft, 15mg Remeron, 5 capsules of fish oil, and the adrenal cocktail everyday. I have also been applying for jobs the past few weeks, since I am finally feeling like I can work and do what I need to do. I have also been looking into a vet tech program at the community college near me. It's something I have considered doing for quite a while, and I want to move forward with my studies and career and have a life built up for me to look forward to. I don't want to wait until I am already off of my meds to build up a life, I want to have one waiting for me once I am finally free. I know I am still young, but time goes by so fast and I have already wasted so much of it with drugs and being lazy. I feel like this experience has really taught me what is important to me. What is most important is to seize life when you can and to make the most of it, not just to coast by and pray for things to get better without ever changing anything.

 

I hope everyone is hanging in there, I think about you all frequently even though I may not post here as much. Thank you for all of the support and well wishes, I hope a window opens wide for each and every one of you.

 

Kang 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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I definitely understand becoming obsessive with forums/internet. May have to step away myself at some point for a bit.

 

It's really good to hear that you are both noticing real improvements in symptoms and finding acceptance. I hope that you start to feel more like yourself soon. Even on my "okay" days where I can go out and distract myself, I also still have a feeling of disconnect...can't find joy, and if I do, it feels weak and almost like a coverup for the distress. Just a theory, but I think this will fade for you very soon since you're starting to feel better across the board. Getting more comfortable in your body is getting closer to a "you" who can enjoy life again.

 

More continued healing to you!

Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg

May 2016-June 2016 15mg

June 2016-August 2016 10mg

October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey

January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg 

February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. 

May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total).

early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 

mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August

reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution

Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017  3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018

June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019

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Hey Kang!

Good to hear from you! I am glad you were able to share your relapse story, I think it really helps us get back on the beam when we let go of our secrets.

I also relate to stepping back a bit, not making my whole life about my withdrawal. Even though that really is a bit of a struggle since my symptoms are there to remind me!

I am just about to drop again, so felling excited and nervous.

-D

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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Kang

good to see you're back on track and things are looking up. 

 

I understand taking king a break from the forum. It's helpful but often overwhelming and scary. I often spend too much time on it instead of trying to live life. 

 

I googled your adrenal cocktail. Sounds like a winner. I placed an order today thru iherb. 

 

Good luck with the the job search. Awesome you've got school plans in your near future.    Glad to hear you're doing ok.  Lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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23 hours ago, bheb said:

I definitely understand becoming obsessive with forums/internet. May have to step away myself at some point for a bit.

 

It's really good to hear that you are both noticing real improvements in symptoms and finding acceptance. I hope that you start to feel more like yourself soon. Even on my "okay" days where I can go out and distract myself, I also still have a feeling of disconnect...can't find joy, and if I do, it feels weak and almost like a coverup for the distress. Just a theory, but I think this will fade for you very soon since you're starting to feel better across the board. Getting more comfortable in your body is getting closer to a "you" who can enjoy life again.

 

More continued healing to you!

Thanks bheb! Acceptance is one of the hardest parts of this whole ordeal, but I think it's also one of the most important steps that you have to take. I hope you continue to heal as well.

 

18 hours ago, DMV64 said:

Hey Kang!

Good to hear from you! I am glad you were able to share your relapse story, I think it really helps us get back on the beam when we let go of our secrets.

I also relate to stepping back a bit, not making my whole life about my withdrawal. Even though that really is a bit of a struggle since my symptoms are there to remind me!

I am just about to drop again, so felling excited and nervous.

-D

Hey DMV, thanks for stopping by. Yeah a big part of this whole experience for me has been about being honest and open with people I care about. It helps to lessen the burden a little bit. I think its okay to focus on withdrawal and the forums when you first start going through this, but taking a step back is equally as important. Real life doesn't stop to wait for you to catch up, and I think it helps healing to live a normal life as best you can. Good luck with your drop, I'm sure you'll do great.

16 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

Kang

good to see you're back on track and things are looking up. 

 

I understand taking king a break from the forum. It's helpful but often overwhelming and scary. I often spend too much time on it instead of trying to live life. 

 

I googled your adrenal cocktail. Sounds like a winner. I placed an order today thru iherb. 

 

Good luck with the the job search. Awesome you've got school plans in your near future.    Glad to hear you're doing ok.  Lg

LG! Hey thanks for checking in with me. Was thinking about you the other day. I hope the adrenal cocktail helps you! I know chessiecat has posted a warning about it for people who have kidney issues and other health problems, so just be careful with it. I feel like it has helped me quite a bit ( might be placebo but at this point I don't really care.) I hope all is well with you, hang in there. I'll keep you in my thoughts :)
 

 

Today felt like a bit of a step back for most of the day as the DP/DR hit me full force. I forced myself to go out with a friend and I am glad I did but it was difficult. We got lunch together, and then went to a local park and went on a hike. We ended up running into a furry convention(people who wear animal suits, I don't judge) and it was pretty funny. Didn't help my DP/DR though! I was already feeling weird enough and add in some people running around in fur suits and its recipe for feeling trippy. Went back to his place and played some video games and watched Pulp Fiction (my favorite movie). I felt weird most of the time, but I pushed through it and the DP/DR lifted up off of me as the night went on. Feeling pretty grounded in reality right now as I lay here writing this in my bed. So overall I would say today was a success. I have plans tomorrow to meet up with some friends and play some board games and I don't intend on backing out from those plans no matter how weird I am feeling. Just have to keep on pushing through. Hope everybody is having a good weekend.

 

Kang

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Omg I live with the dp/ dr and know how alien everything is. If I came across people in furry costumes in the woods, 😵......

that would push me over the edge

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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Pretty good day today overall. Feelings of clarity are better, I feel less of the foggy kind of feelings than I have in the past. DP/DR is down, although I still struggle somewhat with the obsessive existential thoughts. Nothing I can't handle. Still having a hard time feeling connected to people which sucks. But I am still hanging in there. Looking forward to the day I can be drug free.

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Hi Kanga

 

I have been following your story with interest as it is very similar to that of my son, Akrontes, on whose behalf I have joined this forum.  He too, much to my great regret knowing what I now know, has been clobbered with medication for a number of years until he stopped taking Zoloft(sertraline) cold turkey in May 2016 and rather plummeted to earth the following October when he had some ERP therapy for his severe OCD which worsened his condition considerably and he ended up on Remeron(mirtazapine) which luckily he managed to taper off over six months and is drug free since June this year.

 

It has been a horrendous time for him, and for the family and I to see him in such distress with constant ruminations, hyper-anxiety, rages, self harm, self loathing, feelings of hopelessness, wanting to die and isolating himself from family and friends.  But in the last week or so, in the 19th month off Zoloft and the 6th month off Remeron, we are suddenly seeing a marked difference in his thought processes.  He is beginning to make sense of his life again.  He feels different somehow. The thoughts are not so stuck in place and normal feelings are returning. If it had not been for this Forum (my grateful thanks to all those wonderful people here!) we would not have known what was happening and he probably would have ended up back on medication again.

 

We have also realized how altered his thinking was during his years on medication and how they have numbed down many positive feelings of joy and satisfaction and how he has struggled to make sense of the world during the last 10 years. It is early days, but I am now so optimistic that his severe OCD is the result of past cold turkeys off various medications and that he can finally enjoy an independent life, drug free from now on.

 

So hang on in there young fellow. It will happen for you too. Rooting for you!

cannabis: Spring 2002 - Dec. 2007; regularly smoked, stopped cold turkey; symptoms: paranoid and depressed

Paroxetine: 20 mg July 2008, 40 mg October, 20 mg spring 2009, 0 mg summer 2009

Depakote (sodium valproate): October 2008 - Spring 2009

Haloperdidol 1 week Oct. 2008, H caused seizures, went to A&E;  stopped taking it.

Citalopram few weeks in the fall of 2009 to deal with withdrawal symptoms from stopping paroxetine

Paroxetine round 2: 20 mg Feb - summer 2010 -20mg don't remeber if I went up to 40mg

Venlafaxine & sodium valproate (again): Sep 2010 - Summer 2012  

SERTRALINE: November 2012 - May 2016 , 50-100mg (few days @ 150mg in Summer '15). a complete freak out at the end of April. 

May 2016 Prescribed Lithium and Abilify HAVE NOT TAKEN

No medications May 2016 - October 2016

Hospitalised - November 13th 2016 - Prescribed 15 mg Mirtazapine/Remeron. Reducing since 24 December 2016.  9 June 2017 medication free. 

 

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  • 1 month later...
On 11/22/2017 at 4:16 AM, Distraut said:

Hi Kanga

 

I have been following your story with interest as it is very similar to that of my son, Akrontes, on whose behalf I have joined this forum.  He too, much to my great regret knowing what I now know, has been clobbered with medication for a number of years until he stopped taking Zoloft(sertraline) cold turkey in May 2016 and rather plummeted to earth the following October when he had some ERP therapy for his severe OCD which worsened his condition considerably and he ended up on Remeron(mirtazapine) which luckily he managed to taper off over six months and is drug free since June this year.

 

It has been a horrendous time for him, and for the family and I to see him in such distress with constant ruminations, hyper-anxiety, rages, self harm, self loathing, feelings of hopelessness, wanting to die and isolating himself from family and friends.  But in the last week or so, in the 19th month off Zoloft and the 6th month off Remeron, we are suddenly seeing a marked difference in his thought processes.  He is beginning to make sense of his life again.  He feels different somehow. The thoughts are not so stuck in place and normal feelings are returning. If it had not been for this Forum (my grateful thanks to all those wonderful people here!) we would not have known what was happening and he probably would have ended up back on medication again.

 

We have also realized how altered his thinking was during his years on medication and how they have numbed down many positive feelings of joy and satisfaction and how he has struggled to make sense of the world during the last 10 years. It is early days, but I am now so optimistic that his severe OCD is the result of past cold turkeys off various medications and that he can finally enjoy an independent life, drug free from now on.

 

So hang on in there young fellow. It will happen for you too. Rooting for you!

Hey Distraut. So sorry it has taken me almost 2 months to respond to you! I have been trying to stay away from the forums as I tend to obsess and overthink things. I really appreciate you reading my story, I have read through Akrontes story several times because it is similar to my own. Thank you for rooting for me,I am rooting for your son as well.

 

Well it has been 2 months since I have posted on the site. I wish I could say I was feeling better, but things really haven't changed all that much. I have moments where my DP/DR is better, and moments where I obsess about these strange thoughts I have. I still don't have a sense of self. I can't imagine how other people perceive me, and it really freaks me out. I try to imagine myself as other people and I freak out because I can't even imagine it. Its especially distressing when I am around my family, because I feel so alone and disconnected. The most upsetting part is that I don't even remember what it feels like to not feel this way. My depression is definitely better than it was a few months ago, but I still have my moments. I just feel so angry about my situation. I have always tried to be a good person in my life. Of course I made some mistakes and did bad things. But overall I always tried to help people and do the right thing. I just can't imagine what I did to deserve such punishment. I am angry at myself for getting into this situation, angry at my doctors for harming me, angry at the world for how uncaring and cruel it can be, and angry at God for sitting by while such suffering happens. Yes, at least I am not in some war torn country or impoverished. I am incredibly lucky in my life in such ways. But my mind is war torn and my soul is impoverished. I have decided that things aren't going to start improving much for me while I just wait around for something to happen. It's time to start tapering off of the Zoloft and to let healing take place. I will start my taper this weekend. Any advice or comments are welcome, it would help me to not feel so alone. Keep me in your thoughts. I will keep you all in mine. 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Kanga,

 

Welcome "back" :)

 

Just want to check that you signature is up to date.  If not, please Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

If you are concerned about starting your taper you might want to consider doing a trial with a 5% reduction to see how you go.  Keep notes on paper because you might be able to see a small improvement that you can't feel.

 

I wish you well.  I know it can be bit scary.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you go.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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19 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

Hi Kanga,

 

Welcome "back" :)

 

Just want to check that you signature is up to date.  If not, please Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

 

If you are concerned about starting your taper you might want to consider doing a trial with a 5% reduction to see how you go.  Keep notes on paper because you might be able to see a small improvement that you can't feel.

 

I wish you well.  I know it can be bit scary.  Please keep in touch and let us know how you go.

Hey Chessie, thanks for the welcome back. My signature is still up to date, I haven't changed anything in the past few months. I feel like I have held on long enough to stabilize a bit which is why I am ready to start making reductions. I will take your advice though and start with a small cut to see how I handle it. Thank you for the well wishes, I will certainly keep in touch

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Day 2 of my first cut. Feeling pretty nervous about it, but I am glad to be making some progress. DP/DR wasn't as bad during the day today. Was actually feeling pretty good. Unfortunately I think I have either a kidney stone or a UTI as I have pretty sharp bladder/urethra pains (sorry for TMI). I went to the urgent care and began feeling pretty weird while waiting for the doctor. That persisted for a few hours while I was in public. Now that I am alone at night it doesn't feel nearly as bad. I just have a hard time being around other people because they seem so strange to me and I cannot relate to how they must be feeling. Even my mother, when I am around her I can't imagine how she perceives me and how she must feel. Its very distressing. Now that I am alone though, I feel better. My doctor seems to think that I may have a small kidney stone( I have had at least 2 in the past) but she was worried it might possibly be an infection too. She initially tried to prescribe me Cipro, but after reading some horror stories about that drug I convinced her otherwise. I was prescribed Doxycycline instead. Does anybody have any experience with that antibiotic during withdrawal?? I haven't taken any yet as I am hoping its just a kidney stone that I have. 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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  • Moderator Emeritus

If you use google and use survivingantidepressants.org Doxycycline as your search term it will bring up posts which mention it.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

If you use google and use survivingantidepressants.org Doxycycline as your search term it will bring up posts which mention it.

Okay I just did that and it seems like most people are okay with it. Im not in as much pain now as I was earlier so I am hoping that it is a stone and I will pass it. Sorry, next time I will do a google search before asking. Didn't sleep much last night because of the pain so I am a little out of it today :rolleyes:

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Definitely have a kidney stone. I am grateful that its not an infection and that it seems to be a small stone. DP/DR bad today, but gets better when I am alone. Honestly I really prefer to be alone these days but I am also very lonely. Go figure. Still hanging in there though, working on some deep breathing and mindfulness right now. Hope everybody else is good.

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Hi Kang

sorry about the stone. When it rains, it pours. Glad it’s not infection though. Would be bad to add AB to the mix. 

 

I understand what you mean about being lonely but prefer to be alone. The dp/dr makes it difficult to communicate with people. They’re mouths are moving, but I’m not sure what they’re saying. My own words feel odd coming out of my mouth. I told my husband it’s like looking at the world and communicating submerged in water. So much more than just foggy. 

 

Glad you’re hanging in there. You’re attitude seems to be good. 

xx Lg

 

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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22 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

Hi Kang

sorry about the stone. When it rains, it pours. Glad it’s not infection though. Would be bad to add AB to the mix. 

 

I understand what you mean about being lonely but prefer to be alone. The dp/dr makes it difficult to communicate with people. They’re mouths are moving, but I’m not sure what they’re saying. My own words feel odd coming out of my mouth. I told my husband it’s like looking at the world and communicating submerged in water. So much more than just foggy. 

 

Glad you’re hanging in there. You’re attitude seems to be good. 

xx Lg

 

Thanks LG, im not too upset about the stone. I have had 2 before and those were painful enough to land me in the hospital the first time and to rush to my doctor for morphine the second time. This has been a piece of cake compared to that. Yes DP/DR is a real b&*%h to deal with but today it has definitely lifted its veil from me. On days like today where I feel the curtain lifted, I feel raw and exposed. But ultimately grateful that my acceptance has helped me find some clarity. Trust me, I know how you feel. I often daydream about forming a withdrawal village, where we can all live and recover together without fear of outside judgement. I bet it would be a pretty dysfunctional village though lol. Nothing would get done and we would all be miserable, but at least we would be together and not spread out over the whole world. 

 

Its the fourth day since my cut ( I did end up cutting by 10%) and I think I am feeling it. Had a few brain zaps last night but today I feel some clarity and hope(although I have had some suicidal thoughts today, but nothing I can't handle. Its disgusting how good I am at dealing with those now.) I am prepared to slide backwards soon, but right now I am enjoying my moments of peace and relaxation. Its 70 degrees in NC today and very windy. Its a beautiful day and I felt a kind of energy that I haven't felt in years. You know when its so nice outside and you just feel perfectly in stasis. It was like that. It honestly scared me because I feel so raw, but I am welcoming of any new emotions or feelings that I am uncovering. 

 

Kang

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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I want to live in a withdrawal village!!  A whole community of red swollen eyes and people responding, huh?  Say again. 

 

Where did that clarity come from?

the cut?  You sound wonderful. So positive. It sucks tho when you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. My first cut after a 5 mo hold, I felt less anxiety, a little clearer. Then the 4th day came. Ugh

now I’m on day 7 of another small cut. Just waiting for the next week to pass. It makes me not want to ever taper again!!

 

yes. I want to feel all the emotions. Right now it’s just the blues and crying like a baby. I can’t wait to feel the joy, humor, happiness. It’s been a long time. I think a good 70 degree day would help immensely. 

Lucky you. But only 2 more months til spring!!

 

enjoy the warm weather. Hold on. 

But maybe it’ll be way better than what you’re anticipating. 🤞🏻  Lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

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1 hour ago, Littlegrandma said:

I want to live in a withdrawal village!!  A whole community of red swollen eyes and people responding, huh?  Say again. 

 

Where did that clarity come from?

the cut?  You sound wonderful. So positive. It sucks tho when you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. My first cut after a 5 mo hold, I felt less anxiety, a little clearer. Then the 4th day came. Ugh

now I’m on day 7 of another small cut. Just waiting for the next week to pass. It makes me not want to ever taper again!!

 

yes. I want to feel all the emotions. Right now it’s just the blues and crying like a baby. I can’t wait to feel the joy, humor, happiness. It’s been a long time. I think a good 70 degree day would help immensely. 

Lucky you. But only 2 more months til spring!!

 

enjoy the warm weather. Hold on. 

But maybe it’ll be way better than what you’re anticipating. 🤞🏻  Lg

LG, you would obviously be my assistant mayor in withdrawal village. I would need your wise council :) (side note- I just had to look up how to spell the word Mayor. I thought it was Mair. I used to compete in spelling bees. That gives you an idea of my brain fog :P)  Im not sure where the clarity came from, probably just time and acceptance. I am feeling a little foggier now, but today was overall a good day so I have that memory to fall back on :) I understand about not wanting to taper. I wish I could just rip the bandaid off and start recovering tomorrow. Thankfully I have the wise voices of this site telling me what a bad idea that is. I am learning that emotions are a good thing. For too long I have tried to deny them and cover them up in one way or another. I think that's how I ended up in this mess in the first place. Hang in there though! One day you'll be laughing and joyful and you'll look back on this like its a bad dream. 

 

Hoping you get some warm weather soon!

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Another decent day. DP/DR is down. Went out to dinner tonight and felt very anxious at first because the DP/DR was acting up. Just floated through it and I felt better. Not 100% but definitely better. Felt some clarity today and it was nice. I do feel like I am doing the right thing in coming off of my meds, so thats reassuring. I also know that if I can survive the past 8 months or so, I can survive anything that life has to throw at me. So feeling hopeful and positive I would say. I also ordered a lightbox a couple of days ago and I am using it right now. Time will tell if it helps me any, but it had very good reviews and was even mentioned specifically by brand on this site. I'll be sure to mention if it helps me any! Cheers

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Happy to hear you're feeling a bit more positive Kang. Hang in there buddy. 

Jan. 21, 2017: 50 mg Zoloft for moderate-severe social anxiety

end of Feb. 2017: 100 mg one time, contracted flu, missed 2 doses (50 mg); subsequent panic attacks

Mar. 22: 50 mg every other day

Mar. 31: 25 mg every other day

April 16: 0 mg

April - September: 2-3 Ativan a month. 

October - 1 Ativan

November - 1 Ativan

Completely off Ativan as of December 2017.

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3 hours ago, jkun41 said:

Happy to hear you're feeling a bit more positive Kang. Hang in there buddy. 

Thanks Jkun. I am hanging in there. Hope you are well.

 

Dp/dr pretty much gone at this point of the night. Hardly any depression today. Just laying in bed right now feeling rather achey and sore all over. Just took some acetaminophen so hopefully that will help 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Shouldn't have used the lightbox so late last night, I think it kept me up. Only got about 6 hours of sleep but I'm grateful for that. DP/DR pretty much gone right now, which feels amazing. I still have the weird thought patterns that accompanied it though, so I am working on that. About to go to the dentist, which I hate, so I am trying to keep my anxiety levels down.

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Back from the dentist and I feel AMAZING. DP/DR at start of appointment but I did some deep breaths and its GONE. This is the best I have felt in months I swear to god. I feel like me again. Its amazing. I'm not sure if its the lightbox, the cut in my zoloft, or what but I feel really good. Thank you god. 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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Awesome Kang!!

i am so happy for you!!!

Good to hear there’s relief from the 

dp/dr. Doesn’t matter how or why but you obviously did the right thing. May it continue to get better and better. 

 

No reason for you to be in the village now. Go live your life. 

Onward and upward. 

 

Big Hugs Lg

Lex  4.3mg,  3/2/18  Ativan ,5 mg,  lunesta 2 mg , toprol  25 mg                                                            

 

Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta 

jan 22 2019- 11 mg V

jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. 

    Hold taper

july 5- 10.72 V

July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad

july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 

              25 mg toprol

 

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

Awesome Kang!!

i am so happy for you!!!

Good to hear there’s relief from the 

dp/dr. Doesn’t matter how or why but you obviously did the right thing. May it continue to get better and better. 

 

No reason for you to be in the village now. Go live your life. 

Onward and upward. 

 

Big Hugs Lg

Thanks LG, big hugs back to you. 

Drug History:  Zoloft(sertraline) since 2008. Was up to 100mg/daily before CT in May 2017. Reinstated 3 weeks later at 50mg.

                          September 10, 2017 Updose Zoloft to 62.5mg

                          Current dose as of 5/11/2018  50mg Zoloft and 0mg Remeron

                        Remeron(mirtazapine) started June 2017. Accidental CT after 1 month. Reinstated 7.5mg on 9/26/17 after hospital stay.

                        Current Symptoms: Depression, Anxiety, DP/DR, Anhedonia, SI, Tinnitus, Fatigue

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