virgo43: severe symptoms

[Altostrata]

Please read our responses to your posts carefully. I fear you are missing them.

[virgo43]

Sorry for acting and sounding like a drama queen and repeating myself over and over. Please kindly be patient. 

 

These days even terminal illnesses can be stopped/managed but there seems to be no cure for my condition.

 

Being forced to continue on medication that was clearly toxic by the doctor, I simply can't forgive their ignorance...this is basically malpractice, negligence.

 

[powerback]

no need to apologise virgo ,you are among fellow suffers and fighters ,take it from me ,at least for now try put your focus on recovery because your in an extreme state and focusing on doctors and grievances only prolongs our suffering ,don't get me wrong I love a good debate about the system and were it went wrong for me ,but be aware when this kind of thinking is happening when you aren't well ,park it for when your better ,you'll find loads of us here that like to talk about this stuff .

 

I wasted loads of time on grievances and even trying to debate my doctor while in consultation ,I just wound myself up when not well .

I'm sitting here with earplugs in because my noise sensitivity can be so bad ,try stick to the symptom's and self care section when you not well and you got to watch out for triggers .

peace

PB

[FalseGods]

I second what powerback says here: you are the most important person right now. Ruminating thoughts are something we have all experienced in withdrawing from antidepressants and they can feel overwhelming. However, they also distract you from what's really important - getting better! Think about it this way, getting yourself back to health means you'll be in a great position to make something good come out of your experience. Channel your frustration to get well! 

 

Read all the posts carefully and take the great advice from the long standing admins and mods here, do everything you can to relieve your symptoms, they will ease off in time. It might seem like a struggle to get better, but you can and will do it!

[scallywag]

virgo,

 

You've posted useful information in this post (quoted) but we are looking for actual daily details not a summary based on what you recall.

16 hours ago, virgo43 said:

...

My daily symptoms can be summarized as...

 

Morning: 5-7am anxiety and irritation, palpitations, burning chest, headache...

Afternoon: Desire to drink a lot of water, feeling of fatigue mood swings..small meal

 

Early evening: 5-6pm anxiety, irritation and palpitations. Small meal.

 

Evening: slight calm and relaxation

...

 

Copying from this post with the recommended format for a daily log:

Take notes of doses and symptoms.

 

What we need to see for every individual day over several days is:

 

- Time and dosage for drugs taken in morning
- Time and description of any symptoms in the morning
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in afternoon
- Time and description of any symptoms in the afternoon
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in evening
- Time and description of any symptoms in the evening
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in middle of the night
- Time and description of any symptoms in the middle of the night (such as waking)
 
And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, such as:
 
6 a.m. Woke and vomited
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Had diarrhea
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Stomachache
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Headache got worse
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke with headache

[scallywag]

On 2017-07-26 at 0:54 AM, virgo43 said:

What sort of help am I looking here?

1. How can I am make my life tolerable?
2. How can I at least sleep 6-7 hours without pain?
3. How can I just be normal?
4. What sort of supplements can help me?
5. My symptoms clearly mimic, serotonin receptor down regulation, how can I build them back?
6. How can I find the damage? Is there a brain scan that compares serotonergic activity?
7. The science of psychiatry ruined my life, I am basically a vegetable. Can I get some relief?

 

I'll do my best to answer your questions:

1. You can make your life tolerable by focusing on the present moment and letting go of worry about the future. Learn Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.
    
2. Sleeping problems and pain are withdrawal symptoms. The only known way to resolve them is to allow one's self time to heal:
   Tips to help sleep.
   Non-drug techniques for dealing with physical pain.
    
3. You are normal -- normal for someone who has had a strong negative reaction to psychoactive medication. 
    
4. The supplements that people have found helpful are omega 3 fatty acids and magnesium:
   Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker.
   Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil).
    
5. The only way we know for the CNS (central nervous system) to restore neurotransmitter function is to maintain a stable dose of medication or make very small changes in medication over a long period of time. Once we see your daily symptoms and doses log for a few days we may be able to suggest a next step for you.
    
6. I don't know of any scientific research showing that brain scans are useful in evaluating withdrawal symptoms and recovery from SSRI use.
    
7. You are likely going to have to be the primary source of your relief by developing non-drug coping skills.  Online forums, such as this one, can provide you with information and sometimes the connection with other people going through the same thing. Your body and CNS (central nervous system) are working to heal. We can't tell you when it will happen or how it will happen, but you will get through this and recover.

[mammaP]

17 hours ago, virgo43 said:

During 75mg zoloft the serotonin receptors must have been down regulated. The body adjusted to 50mg but having difficulty with 25mg.

 

Did you feel better at 50mg Virgo? 

[virgo43]

Same thing. Everything depends on the amount of ssri in the blood. 50mg was relatively better but sun was very painful. 

[virgo43]

The sunlight really gives me pain. 

[virgo43]

Thanks for the advice.

What about inositol?

I don't think I will ever be normal. Trying not to be pessimistic but my life has been quite a bit painful.

Also the cns recovery will take time however things can get out of hand anytime.

 

I am basically stuck in the past because I can't believe with such a low dose the system was thrown off. I am having regrets denials and keep asking why me? 

[powerback]

virgo take it from someone that has wasted countless hours ruminating why me ,there is no logic to any of it .for a start these doctors haven't a clue how it mite affect one person to the other ,put all your focus into learning about your body from your brain to your feet ,even if we have no interest in how the body works ,we are forced into learning it from whatever illness [iatrogenic or not ] comes our way .

i ran into someone the other day and there first thing to say was "I've a sore shoulder " ,i could of screamed .i didn't even bother explaining why ide like to walk under a bus and end my going on 2 years of suffering .

if you don't read and listen to the information from the moderators ,nothing will change and even worse you mite never get away from doctors .what we learn is serious character lessons that will put you in good sted for  the rest of your life .

1 ,take in and focus on the info from the mods [it can take time to process]

 2 ,clean your diet out ,drastically

3 , get self compassion

4, proper stress management and awareness .

5,keep your temper and anger in check at all times ,family and society correlate  this as sickness and only respond with worry and judgement  ,find a healthy  outlet for it .

6 journal for everything you put in your body ,cancel out  foods and drinks,see what reacts and stimulates .we can and  do have new sensitivities because of these meds .

7,are you ready for lifestyle changes in your life to live and cope without these drugs and deal with life's  challenges .

this is just a few .ive read some old posts and people on here were saying this 5 years ago ,we got to pay attention .

 

now I'm well aware this mite just irritate you me going on like this but i promise you they all have to be looked at in time and its coming from a good place not a judgement on you .

the doctors gave us quick fixes and i don't believe there possible without a chain reaction somewhere in the body [magic bullet ].

take great care hope you get stable soon

PB

 

 

[virgo43]

I really appreciate the advice but honestly the body heat and headache is so intolerable I cant explain. It is like going through chemo...my friends keep saying alcoholics recover etc...

 

I was thinking of going to an addiction clinic. I don't really think they will accept me.

 

Some clinics offer special treatment. Do they have brain modifying chemicals? How does a poor patient addicted to benzo due to malpractice recover but we can't find the way out.

 

Ssri damage is by far very tormenting. 

[virgo43]

Dear beloved powerback and all others who are offering invaluable support. Scallywag, Alostrata...

I really appreciate ur kind concern ur long messages. Finally a group a community that understands. 

 

My last doctor finally explained that some people don't have the liver enzymes to process biotoxins...cy450...

It does go back to Dear Alostrata's 5 year old message about down regulation. Looks very much like what is happening to me and most of us. 

 

I really think that there must be a way to up regulate and reach original settings. People recover from mdma use but for me ssri use of almost a year turned out to result in a cns dysfunction. 

 

Down regulation then there should be up regulation. When and how.

 

Supplements recommended are fish oils om3 and magnesium.

 

I read about inositol and B complex in the forums.

 

I see serotonin enhancers are considered a bit risky. 

 

I know 25mgs doesn't seem much but believe me it really disrupts many systems. I know people who take 200mg like candy...

As it turns out many people around me have used much higher dose of these drugs and came off easily. 

 

In the old days while believing these meds help I willingly took 75mg and suffered greatly. 

Dropping down from 75 to 50mg was manageable within two weeks. Of course had to go to ER once. Never fully stabilized. Sunshine water intake and food always made a difference. In such cases since the discomfort is always there it is hard to focus on other things in life as u ard always reminded.

 

50 to 25mg seems to be the worst as blood levels are too low and the body is struggling to up regulate. 

 

I really wonder how heroin and cocain addicts come back to life as those are very potent.

Possibly the same thing happens? Receptor down-regulation. 

 

Ssri s seem to be very potent for the unfortunate very few people like me. I have recently developed an ocd regarding my toxicity. The drug that helped millions actually harmed most of us and literally down regulated my receptors and caused cns. 

 

My final question is my insomnia is because of my burning chest. The problem is symptoms escalate and I have to rest a day to calm down. 25mg adjustment is very difficult the body is struggling. 

 

Thanks again. Very much appreciated.  

 

 

 

 

 

[virgo43]

Dear alostrata I believe if I stop I will be like tery4949.

Can someone help please.

Both of us have been damaged by ssris.

 

[mammaP]

I am going to reply to your PMs here Virgo. It is best that all answers are kept in topic so they can help others too. 

You are not going to die, your nervous system is struggling because of the drugs but will get better in time. If you were slightly better at 50mg I am wondering if you  might be better with a slight a slight updose to 30. It will not cure this, but might make things just a little more comfortable. You have cut the dose by amounts which have led to withdrawal.  It is a terrible position to be in when you are suffering adverse effects from a drug but suffer withfrawal when you try to stop it. I will tell you how it was for me. Years ago I was detained and treated wih a coktail of drugs,

 

I suffered so badly I wince now at the memory. I couldn't stand the light, couldn't walk more than a few yards, was in terrible pain and every night when I went to bed I believed I could die. I suspected it was the drugs and they were stopped and changed so many times leading me to be very sensitive to any drugs. I ended up on effexor for 10 years, barely able to leave my bed and rarely left the house. Then I discovered that it really was the drugs, and the cocktail I was taking were interacting with each other. I tried to quit, tried my doctors recommended taper then in the end tapered myself. I felt better as the dose lowered because I went slowly. Gradually the symptoms started to abate and I could go out again. My feelings came back and I started to learn how to deal with the emotional stuff that led me to drugs. My taper took 3 years in total. I went too fast and tapered for a year then went into withdrawal. I  then found SA, reinstated and took another 2 years to finally taper off the tiny reinstatement dose. 

 

I felt just as bad as you do now, was suicidal at times and just couldn't live with it for another day. But we DO live for another day, and another, and they add up to months and years. This is NOT permanent and will not kill you, theer are sites out there which will share doom and gloom, people who will probably never recover unless they start to think positively. 

 

Fish oil really does help, as does magnesium and mindfulness. Take yourself somewhere in the world that is peaceful via youtube, I often sit by the lake with a campfire, or on a night train that is rumbling through the countryside, all via youtube. We have all been where you are and have survived. You will survive too.  

[virgo43]

Dear. Mrs. Mamap

I really appreciate ur kindness.

I have recently come across tery4949. Same thing is happening.

I am not depressed my nervous system is ruined.

If I stop I dont think I can endure the pain. Tery4949 is going through the same.

I am so pleased and honored that u shared ur story with me.

Thanks a lot. 

 

[virgo43]

Dear mamap.

 

I ask u. Is life worth living. Look at tery4949 and how much she is suffering.

 

Are u fully healed? 

[virgo43]

Doom and gloom but honestly I am crying right now.

The doctors murdered my former self.

 

[virgo43]

I went to him 3 times in a week and said...sir my heart rate is 150 should I stop...he said shut up and continue....

[powerback]

1 hour ago, virgo43 said:

Dear beloved powerback and all others who are offering invaluable support. Scallywag, Alostrata...

I really appreciate ur kind concern ur long messages. Finally a group a community that understands. 

 

My last doctor finally explained that some people don't have the liver enzymes to process biotoxins...cy450...

It does go back to Dear Alostrata's 5 year old message about down regulation. Looks very much like what is happening to me and most of us. 

 

I really think that there must be a way to up regulate and reach original settings. People recover from mdma use but for me ssri use of almost a year turned out to result in a cns dysfunction. 

 

Down regulation then there should be up regulation. When and how.

 

Supplements recommended are fish oils om3 and magnesium.

 

I read about inositol and B complex in the forums.

 

I see serotonin enhancers are considered a bit risky. 

 

I know 25mgs doesn't seem much but believe me it really disrupts many systems. I know people who take 200mg like candy...

As it turns out many people around me have used much higher dose of these drugs and came off easily. 

 

In the old days while believing these meds help I willingly took 75mg and suffered greatly. 

Dropping down from 75 to 50mg was manageable within two weeks. Of course had to go to ER once. Never fully stabilized. Sunshine water intake and food always made a difference. In such cases since the discomfort is always there it is hard to focus on other things in life as u ard always reminded.

 

50 to 25mg seems to be the worst as blood levels are too low and the body is struggling to up regulate. 

 

I really wonder how heroin and cocain addicts come back to life as those are very potent.

Possibly the same thing happens? Receptor down-regulation. 

 

Ssri s seem to be very potent for the unfortunate very few people like me. I have recently developed an ocd regarding my toxicity. The drug that helped millions actually harmed most of us and literally down regulated my receptors and caused cns. 

 

My final question is my insomnia is because of my burning chest. The problem is symptoms escalate and I have to rest a day to calm down. 25mg adjustment is very difficult the body is struggling. 

 

Thanks again. Very much appreciated.  

 

 

 

 

 

your welcome virgo ,doctors are funny ,you think they'd do these compatibility tests before giving the poison .that will be the future and save others suffering .

take great care .

[virgo43]

Dear friends.

 

Tery4949 and my symptoms clearly resemble.

So If we stop we will soon have the same. So if we wait long enough will they fade? It really seems unlikely because how long can a person go without sleep? Live while a fuel furnace is burning inside. Drink water constantly and not have heart issue bc of arrhythmia due to lost electrolytes.  How did poor Tery4949 endure so much for so long god knows. It requires super human strength.  I only suffered a few nights and felt terrible and suicidal. Especially the anxiety the insomnia can be so debilitating. 

 

Second when I tell these to doctors they say "don't read non-sense from online and act like u know"

we are all here bc of their ignorance. A simple enzyme test is sufficient to find who can tolerate the ad meds. If u don't have cy450 u get prescribed herbal meds for stress relief. That is it. Modern science can do that but doctors are busy ruining lives taking away joy...

 

Third when I say to my friends it is beyond my control I can't function while my heart is beating and chest is burning.... they say u don't want to get better....yes I will go running with u but I might die...

Doctor says did u exercise....I can't because I get heatwaves after... he doesn't know.

 

Fourth tapering from 25mg is near impossible as the amount of water in the system makes a difference... I also don't have the strength Tery4949 has... I am a mortal.

 

Road to recovery is near impossible in my case.

 

 

 

[virgo43]

Dear friends.

How can u help Tery4949 and myself.

Re instating meds won't help.

The pain is intolerable.

How can the body cns heal with so many symptoms.

Insomnia

Anxiety

Thirst

Irritation

Migraines.

 

 

How can all this heal.

Give it some time.

Time is absolute hell and utter pain....

What is the solution?

 

Please help especially the moderators.

 

[Terry4949]

Virgo43 , I feel your pain I truly do , i am a 50 year old man who has suffered what seems a life time of agony , I do not drink and have never smoked I eat healthy , like you I cannot excersise to walk round the block makes me feel so sick and unwell , my body burns and overheats 24 hours a day , I can't eat , I am constantly thirsty and some days I can drink litres of water other I struggle to drink at all , my muscles are so weak and I have a constant shake and inner tremor that will not leave me alone , I have very little sleep and when I wake usually covered in sweat and burning my anxiety kicks in so bad which then leads to deep depression. I was taken of venalaxafine about 4 years ago after it just stopped working and I was given 5 or 6 different meds one of them was mirtazapine which I believe went toxic on me after the first dose , but I was kept on it for 14 months and it has destroyed me , I have found no light at the end of this nightmare , like you I wish for death as it seems it will be my only relief , I have found nothing that has helped me to ease my suffering for 4 years now everyday has been hell , I do not know what to do anymore , I have a lovely family a wife and 2 children a good home . yet I am being tortured through someone else's responsibility, I do not know if we will ever get better , but I have survived for 4 years I do not no how to be honest , I think it's the fear of hurting loved ones that keeps me here , I have read so many pages on here hours days of reading searching for any little bit of information that can make me feel any better , but I have seen people recover some sooner than others  , I cannot suggest to you anything other than just hold on , if I thought there was a magic pill to take away some of this suffering I would take it as many on here I think would do to . I have tried everything in my power to speed up recovery but it looks like time is the only healer , I was taken of all medication 5 months ago now c/t by the hospital and this last month has been the worst ever so please go slow with you taper I had that taken away from me , if I thought re instating would work then I would but I am to far out and to be honest all the meds they put me on made me feel worse so adding them back wouldn't help , if I do find anything that helps I promise to let you know , one thing I have learnt from this site is that something's work for some and not for others , so don't be put of by trying things that can help you just go slow and start small , I take fish oil and magnesium but I haven't really found any benifit to be honest , take care my friend 

[virgo43]

Dear friend terry4949.

I am so fearful of entering a coma due to the imbalance but none of the doctors believe. My doctor suggested emdr....I really dont think it wilk help.

 

My question for today is ok thesw drugs left a foot print and down regulation. How do they up regulate.

 

Dear moderators if I drop the dose and wait would I suffer even more than Terry4949. It looks like I will.

How long can a person go wuthout sleep plus how about the heat waves and drinking water. It looks like there is chance of cardiac problems. 

 

Please help.

I read all the comments but I had terrible 7-8 months and I am tired exhausted actually. 

[virgo43]

Dear friends. 

 

Today my father yelled at me and said....

 

U ruined all our lives....

 

I told him maybe 1% chance that the doctors were wrong.

He keeps yelling at me....

[virgo43]

Everyone keeps blaming me.

 

Dear friends. ..

 

Should I quit and die and let them see what I am going through. ..

 

Doctors are considered semi gods in my culture....

[Terry4949]

Virgo23 , maybe you could show your dad or your loved ones this site and maybe it could help them understand ,  I have family and friends who don't understand and think I need to just get out more and pull my socks up , they see depression differently to withdrawel and cannot truly understand the horrors of withdrawels that we are suffering , if it was a simple as taking a medication and feeling better do you think we would all be doing it 

[virgo43]

I showed them...

Many times

My beloved boss

My brother

My father

My friends

 

The whole family

 

They say stop reading rubbish from the web....

It is ur fault. Doctors say these meds are harmless....

Accept.....u are not a doctor...

These people are not doctors. ....

Shut up and take ur meds and exercise. 

I tell them guys pleaaaaase give me 1% credit.  

Please...

One friend said u are entering into imaginary territory....

 

I am crying daily....

[Terry4949]

It is very hard when the people we love and turn to when we need help don't understand , they have never taken medication and felt the harm it has done , they believe that doctors are always right , but we are the sufferers and we know different . My wife who I have been married to fo 25 years still doesn't fully understand what I am going through , she says I just need to push through it but it's not that simple , unless you suffer you cannot truly understand , can you not get one of your family members to go with you to a doctor so that you discuss withdrawel and the problems it can cause to help them understand , they may listen and be a bit more sympathetic if it was to come from a professional . 

[virgo43]

I brought my mother...

Friends and colleagues to doctors and they kept on different diagnosis

 

Panic attack

Anxiety

Ptsd

Ocd

.

 

 

Psychiatric science is full of lies

[virgo43]

First of all. None of them will accept ad meds are toxic. 

Anyway I am exhausted simply worn out

[virgo43]

Yes 6 months ago...nothing came up

[virgo43]

Other than ssri caused imbalance

Such as low testesterone

Female hormones etc...

[virgo43]

I am trying the nondrug techniques for coping with pain but having difficulty reducing my chest burn.

 

Nothing is helping...

[virgo43]

OCD.

 

I have been suffering from OCD.

constantly thinking. 

The symptoms are there daily and it is making me go mad.

Can't think of anything else.

 

OCD is adding to my problems. 

It is very hard to distract my mind.

 

I am going crazy...

[virgo43]

every day I go to sleep they keep coming.

 

When will the heat wave come?

When will I heal?

What will I do?

 

If not the pain...the ocd will destroy me.

 

I am in constant loops. Daily hourly.

 

The symptoms are terrible and so is the expectation.

 

Can someone please help.