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Boysmommy2

Boysmommy2: Barely treading water

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

AnxietyHi all I'm not sure if I'm doing this correctly but here goes nothing! A little backstory..I had horrible postpartum depression and anxiety with both my kids ages 21 and27 that lasted probably6 monthseach pregnancy. Fast forward to 2 yrs ago I had the flu which turned in something called thyroiditis which causes rapid heart rate and anxiety and made me have hyperthyroidism. I had to go onbeta blockers and 1mg ativanthree times a day for about 2 months while waiting for my thyroid to go back to normal. Well many doctorvisits andbloodtests later the thyroid was normal but anxiety stayed. Doc started me on celexa which ended up working at 40mg and for 14 months I was normal. In July one night I went to lay down and the world started spinning it felt like someone took my head off my shoulders and just shook it. Well I ran to the bathroom to puke and felt my anxiety come pouring on (my anxiety feels like hot lava pouring down my body from my head to my toes except it's ice cold) so that started my downfall. Went to the doc he said vertigo so I was hoping the anxiety would go when that was better but no. Idetermined the celexa must have stopped working and off to the docs I Went, he didn't think it quits working that fast but wanted me to wean off celexa over the next two weeks and then start effexor 37.5 after. Well after researching effexor I was scared so I weaned myself off over three weeks and no I'm 5 weeks and 2 days off everything. I felt bad the first week then good the second but Since then feel crappy. Anxiety every day in the pit of my stomach horrible in the am especially. Nausea and racing heart throughout the day and insomnia every night! I don't know if I'm coming or going is it withdrawal is it original anxiety I have no idea but I am a mess! Does anyone have any advice or useful ideas.? I swear I'm one step off the crazy train😳

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Altostrata   
Altostrata

Welcome, Boysmommy. You did fine.

 

Are you still taking beta blockers and 1mg Ativan 3 times a day?

 

Right before that spell in July, is it possible you might have forgotten to take any of your drugs? Or maybe took one off schedule?

 

The anxiety, nausea, racing heart, and insomnia are a dead ringer for withdrawal syndrome. Do you have any Celexa left?

 

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Thank you for your fast reply! Nope never missed one pill always took it right before bed. But thinking back I remember a lot of times being dizzy or when going to lay down in bed feeling like the bed spun and since stopping celexa no more spins. Do you think my brain just had too high of a dose? I had taken 20mg for 6 months then the anxiety flooded back and bumped me to 40 mg the rest of the time. No beta blockers only for the few months it took me to get my thyroid back to normal numbers on the blood work. Ativan I still have but take only when I'm feeling horribly bad at night but only break the 1mg in half and take that. He ordered me to take 1mg three times a day but I never could too much so I still have them and take occasionally. Don't want to get hooked on something else. And yes still have bottle of celexa and bottle of effexor I look at them daily but so far I haven't touched either, Hope you can help, thank you so much🌞

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Does anyone have any advice for me?

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Madeleine   
Madeleine

It wasn't clear to me exactly how long you were taking what drug and exactly how long you tapered but it seems you crossed over from celebs to Effexor very very quickly virtually cold turkey then on Effexor for only a few weeks then stoped that very quickly. It's hard to tell what is causing your spa. It could be celebs withdrawal then start up of new drug Effexor could have caused demotions then more withdrawal when you stopped Every time you make s change with theses drugs it affects your central nervous system,  you are not taking Ativan regularly... but exactly how often? That could be having an effect too.  

i haven't really given you advice as your case is a little bit complicated and I think you might need to provide more info on doses, dates etc. 

 

And then hopefully one if mods will advise you. 

 

Im the meantime read through sections on this site and you might find some info that will be useful and can be applied to your situation. 

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

I'm sorry! I was taking the celexa for around year and few months and I thought it stopped working with the vertigo and spins so doc ordered a two week taper from40mg but I did it over three or four weeks. Then was ordered to start effexor but I never did after researching it. The Ativan I take 0.25 or .5mg two or three times a week at most I'm scared to get hooked on that lol. Lord I'm a mess! Today not feeling terrible its mostly my gut it always feels like my anxiety is coming back anytime and the sleep is terrible waking at 3-4am and cant stop thinking or having conversations with people in my head or song lyrics over and over lol. I'm scared I'm going looney😳

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Littlegrandma   
Littlegrandma

Boysmommy

i am also new to the forum and unfortunately I don't have any advice for you, but I know they will help you here. I think you came to the right place, as drs don't seem to have a clue and these moderators and members have a wealth of experience and education on the subject of AD meds. 

The anxiety is debilitating and if I can fall asleep at all, I wake with terror between 2 & 4:00. It sucks the life out of you! 

I just wanted to say welcome. There is great support here. I don't know how the moderators do it, with so many members, but they respond quickly and I'm in awe of their knowledge. 

 

 

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ChessieCat   
ChessieCat

Here is SA's discussion:  Sleep problems - that awful withdrawal insomnia


I've experienced the same thing with voices and songs, as have other members.  At one point during my taper I would hear radio talk back conversations whenever I had a fan on.

 

intrusive-repetitive-song-symptom-or-ear-worms

 

And from best-description-of-healing-process

 

Temporal Lobe  These lobes are on the side of your brain on each side near your ear. It makes up the whole left and ride side of your brain.  This is where auditory information is processed, including hearnig itself, but also the "Meaning" of what we are hearing, as well as part of speech and language, emotion, and buncha other stuff.  In early recovery, someone was talking to me and I couldn't tell you what they said past the first sentence.  My auditory processing was ALL messed up.  I couldn't picture what a person was saying to me in real time - and by the time I caught up to them, I was lost and they were talking about something else! Also - When I was laying there in bed, I could "hear" things that weren't there in the noise of my box fan. I'd hear the fan blowing -but I also "heard" like sickening circus music. I believe this is because there is noise coming into my ear - but my brain cannot adequately "prune" what it is hearing at differnet frequecies because there is not enough GABA to inhibit it to create something meaninful.  There was all this "noise" and my brain was just firing off glutamate.  So instead of actually "processing" the noise - it was firing off ideas about what it was hearing - and they were ALL wrong.  I would be hearing what sounded like circus music - and at the same time, my poor brain was looking through my hippocampus to find all the memories I ever had of being at the circus - and then I'm reliving those memories- and at the same time, my amygdala is getting fired upon - so I'm in fear. So I'm a quivering mess of a person laying in the bed hearing and seeing things and remembering times in my childhood and scared to pieces.  Seriously? Yes - I felt crazy. But not in my MIND.  It was my BRAIN.  It's the BRAIN.  And it's normal. The structures in the brain are "obligated" to work this way.

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Thank you both for responding! I'm reading so much on here and its so informative and enlightening makes me think maybe theres hope for me yet lol

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yr1901   
yr1901

Well done mommysboy2 and chesstiecat and littlegrandma you are doing so well! Tricking the unconscious mind definitely is the way to go.  It will take a little time for your senses to come back on line, and perhaps I may offer a little tool to help.

 

Think of a time when you were really excited about something. That feeling of an involuntary quick deep breath that comes a split second before the feeling happens in your body. This is generally the same feeling you get, as you start to feel the wave of anxiety wash over you.

 

The trick is, to start to practice that awesome feeling of excitement! As you feel that first involuntary deep breath and before the wave of anxiety starts to come on …..bring that memory of excitement to the forefront of your mind. Feel the excitement you felt, notice where in your body it is and really feel it. See what you saw that made you excited, hear the sounds that went with this awesome experience, relive the excitement and make sure that it doesn’t have any baggage to it. In other words, it was a time that you felt pure joy from any time of your life.

 

Don’t worry if you don’t get it right the first few times, remember, your senses are coming back on line.  You didn't learn to walk as a child by doing it once, you kept at it. So, keep going!

 

If you keep practicing this, when your anxiety comes to visit, will be be replaced with a feeling of excitement and a huge smile on your face.

 

Hope this helps.

 

And remember, you are absolutely awesome!

 

Edited by ChessieCat
spelling error

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Wow thank you so much! It's so nice to hear positivity 😀

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yr1901   
yr1901

My absolute pleasure. Have an amazing day! :D

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Today not much anxiety but just feel blah like I have no happiness or sadness. Weird

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yr1901   
yr1901

Did you try the excitement exercise?

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

I think so but no anxiety now thank goodness

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yr1901   
yr1901

Excellent! Keep practicing the excitement exercise.

 

Just like a muscle that hasn't been used in a while, it takes a little time to recondition it. So is the same with your senses and frontal lobes (both right and left) coming back online.

 

Go for it! You are awesome! 

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AliG   
AliG

Boysmommy2. It sounds like you are suffering withdrawal symptoms from your too fast taper off Celexa. We advise a gentle 10% taper method to help minimize symptoms.Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

I would think about possibly reinstating a small dose (perhaps 1-2 mg) of Celexa. Reinstatement is the only known way to alleviate withdrawal symptoms and starting at a low dose reduces the risk of adverse reactions. About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms.

As it has been approximately 6 weeks since you stopped it is not too late but it is best done sooner than later.The more time that passes the less likely it is to work.

Please be careful with the Ativan and only take when absolutely necessary as it doesn't take long to become physically addicted.

To be able to help more accurately would you Please put your withdrawal history in your signature  All drugs,dates doses etc so that we can see your situation easily whenever you post. It appears below each of your posts.This thread is your own journal to record your progress, ask questions and address concerns.

These links may help you understand a little more about the withdrawal process:

Brain Remodelling

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

Please have a read of the links including the one on reinstatement and let us know if you decide to go that route.

Edited by AliG

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Not sure if I did it correctly but I tried😍 thank you for your advise but I'm going to stick with it I'm too scared to reinstate the celexa at this point hopefully this too shall pass.  I'm going to read all the links and try to stay positive. Thank you for responding😍

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Woodhull   
Woodhull

One day your worst day will be your best. It will provide you with a different perspective of life. 

This documentary taught me a lot. 

With LoVe,

Alex W. 

 

 

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Thank you! Very eye opening but not surprising I guess I'm beginning to think most of these meds are dangerous😳

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

The last few days I've felt really good! Still have the early morning wakenings and almost constant stomachache but almost NO anxiety!!!! I'm hoping it lasts but if not I will keep on keeping on😀😀😀

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

I'm on the eight week mark and still not feeling my old self yet😳 mornings are the worst!!! During the day I find I'll feel better towards the evenings which from reading others its normal. How long does this stuff take lordddddd??

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baroquep   
baroquep

Hi Boysmommy2,

 

Sorry to hear that you aren't feeling the greatest.  Unfortunately it can sometimes take quite a bit of time for withdrawal symptoms to settle.  It is impossible for anyone to give you an exact timeline, some people get better quickly and for other it may take months, and unfortunately sometimes even years to resolve.

Have you given AliG's earlier advice any consideration?  Reinstatement is the only known way to ease withdrawal symptoms and to help stabilize your central nervous system.  You may want to have another look at the links that AliG provided (I've reattached the reinstatement link below), and see if this is something that you'd like to try.  

 

You have been off Celexa for a couple of months now so you need to be aware of the benefits and risks.  Since it has been two months since you discontinued, it is recommended to reinstate a very small dose.   Please have a look at the link to familiarize yourself with the procedure and let us know what you decide.  We can given you additional information or answer any of your questions if this is something you think you'd like to do.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms.

 

 

On 23/08/2017 at 0:57 PM, AliG said:

Boysmommy2. It sounds like you are suffering withdrawal symptoms from your too fast taper off Celexa. We advise a gentle 10% taper method to help minimize symptoms.Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

I would think about possibly reinstating a small dose (perhaps 1-2 mg) of Celexa. Reinstatement is the only known way to alleviate withdrawal symptoms and starting at a low dose reduces the risk of adverse reactions. About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms.

As it has been approximately 6 weeks since you stopped it is not too late but it is best done sooner than later.The more time that passes the less likely it is to work.

 Please be careful with the Ativan and only take when absolutely necessary as it doesn't take long to become physically addicted.

To be able to help more accurately would you Please put your withdrawal history in your signature  All drugs,dates doses etc so that we can see your situation easily whenever you post. It appears below each of your posts.This thread is your own journal to record your progress, ask questions and address concerns.

These links may help you understand a little more about the withdrawal process:

Brain Remodelling

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

Dr. Joseph Glenmullen's withdrawal symptom checklist

Please have a read of the links including the one on reinstatement and let us know if you decide to go that route.

 

Edited by AliG

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Thank you for your response😀 I go back and forth in my head millions of times a day...reinstate or keep going? I've read every inch of this site and a few others and still I suffer without making a choice. I almost feel like I'm depressed at this point when I was on celexa for anxiety! Nothing seems to make me happy I actually look forward to going to bed at night and that's it! Crazy crazy how this makes me feel😳

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Today was an odd day felt ALMOST normal!! It's so weird to feel like this after I'm used to feeling so crappy I thought that was the new normal lol. Oh well tomorrow is another day we'll see how that goes..my stomach still feels all twisted in knots so I know my wds aren't done torturing me yet but does give me hope😀

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AliG   
AliG

Hi Boysmom. It's good to hear that you are feeling a little better but just be careful not to let a small improvement lull you into a false sense of security as there most probably will be many more windows and waves to follow in the future. After I quit my antidepressant- cold turkey I had a honeymoon period of many months where I felt fine, before I felt the full impact of withdrawal but when it did hit, it was brutal.

 

I would still consider reinstating :  I'm laboring the point  because you have a window right now that is starting to close and after that it may be too late. Under 3 months is ideal and after that it tends to become much more tricky. I wish I had known in time to reinstate just a very small amount ( 1-2 mg) as it would have made such a positive difference to my recovery.

 

Again, it's up to you and I won't mention it again but I just wanted you to be very aware and have all the information needed to make an informed decision as knowledge is power.   

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Hi all. The last week or so I've been feeling ok not 100% but maybe 75. Anxiety not terrible, still having some problems with sleep and stomach but all in all I can handle it. I've had some other health issues come up and totally expected to fall apart but I didn't!!! It may seem like a small victory but any victory at this point makes me happy😀 didn't reinstate the celexa (wasn't sure How since its a 40mg tab?) I've just been working a lot and trying to stay so busy I literally drop into bed at night. I'm hoping I'm truly healing every single day and learning other ways to deal with anxiety. Thank you all for listening❤

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Boysmommy2   
Boysmommy2

Feeling so crappy these past few days not sure if its the wd or the sinus infection I have but a lot more anxiety and practically no sleep started on a Zpack and the doc have me vistaril for sleep has anyone tried that?

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