DMV64: reinstate Saphris?

[JanCarol]

Oh yeah - 

 

I did find one other thing:

 

http://outofthefog.website/what-not-to-do-1/2015/12/13/stinkin-thinkin-the-ten-forms-of-twisted-thinking

 

also discussed here:

 

http://www.brainline.org/content/2008/07/how-clean-stinking-thinking-and-cope-better.html

 

I hope you see the sun today!

 

 

[DMV64]

4 hours ago, JanCarol said:

You have been having windows! 

Thank you both for this reminder!

 

4 hours ago, JanCarol said:

got destabilised

Yes. Yes. I need to remember this too.

 

4 hours ago, JanCarol said:

OKAY this is a lot of stuff.

I know. It may be too much. The DBT is alot like my Al-anon program, not sure if I will keep doing that. The TAT is a limited time number of sessions with a friend. Also that was supposed to say ANXIETY not Zaidi. Dictation you know. TAT has been great so far! EFT I just do on my own from a video and I find it helps. Floating technique from Claire Weekes also really helps.

 

Thank you for all the links. When I am feeling focused I go back and look through them all. 

It is good to feel supported.

4 hours ago, JanCarol said:

I know that you have updosed

Yes and so far it seems to be a good change. I am tracking in a date book.

 

[DMV64]

5 hours ago, JanCarol said:

I did find one other thing:

Thanks! this is right from my CBT book!!!!

: )

[DMV64]

I know somewhere here there was a link to good doctors...looking for it once again....

[DMV64]

Feeling a Little shaky/racy from the updose. Just reporting. Maybe normal. When I calm down I hope to visit some threads. 

[DMV64]

"I am healing, I want wellness, I want wholeness.  This is one step towards my healing.

—wisdom from JanCarol

[JanCarol]

LOL I'm gonna post the rest too - 

 

Quote

 

Still normal.

 

Some of it could be fed by "fear of the fear" - secondary fear.

 

You're so backed into a fear-corner - fear of the drugs, fear of tapering, fear of so many things that you become afraid of being afraid.

 

So - it's hard to parse out drug effects.  

Maybe have an affirmation when you take your Saphris?  Let me think about it (I'm at my art table right now, great place to think) and if something good comes to me, I'll let you know.

 

There's always the quote from Frank Herbert's "Dune" - it's what I have used since I was 15 years old:

 

  Quote

Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain

 

 

Say this when you take your Saphris crumbs.

 

I'd like something more positive like:

 

"I am healing, I want wellness, I want wholeness.  This is one step towards my healing."

 

 

 

Also - this is Day Two.  It takes between 4-10 days for the updose to reach "steady state" in your blood.  You might feel a difference, but we won't know about the stabilisation (that we're hoping for) until you reach steady state - and maybe even 3 weeks after that.

 

I guess you know - this is a hold time, now.  We'll talk again about "what's next" in August... even then, I'd like to even out your Geodon doses, before you start tapering.

 

Patience!  This is a slow process.  Watching grass grow is exciting compared to this.

[DMV64]

So I am holding again. And I do not think Saphris will be the thing I taper next anymore. My body is giving me different messages. But that is for later. Right now, stability.

[DMV64]

I cannot find the link or area of doctors. I remember going there. Brain not working well. Anyone can help me out?

[manymoretodays]

Here you go DMV,

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/14971-recommended-doctors-therapists-and-clinics/

When in doubt just use your search engine and type in survivingantidepressants.org and subject

No problem.  It's a pinned topic at the top of the "tapering section".

.......I did see one in PA

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth baby growth,

manymoretodays

[DMV64]

8 hours ago, JanCarol said:

updose

Yes. Patience. It was originally recommended I be willing to go up to 1.8 but I hope not. 

[DMV64]

Thanks MMT!!

[DMV64]

I just found out last night that my son wants to move out of the Brooklyn apartment. This is not good news. It is a rent stabilized apartment and I think he’s making a big mistake. Plus I have to admit it is a loss for me, as I am somewhat attached to it and once he moves to Queens I won’t be able to visit him there in the same way. That plus daughter moving out at the end of July has me in a little bit of a spin.

[Rosetta]

Stop the world.  That thought comes to me often.  I need everyone and everything to just stop while I'm trying to get well, but that won't happen.  Our kids can't stop growing and changing.  I'm so sorry, DMV.  This illness isn't fair.  These changes would be hard no matter what, but they are much harder with WD tagging along.  I often try to focus on what I have left instead of what is changing.  It's not magic, but sometimes it helps.  

All my love, R

[DMV64]

Thanks Rosetta. Wise advice. I am slowly getting used to the idea today but it doesn’t take much to upset my withdrawal cart. 

Focus on what I have!

 

[Carmie]

On 5/31/2018 at 8:58 AM, DMV64 said:

Everyday I make a gratitude list, it really helps re-focus me.

I am glad you are seeing your friend. Hope you have fun! 

My day got better as it went along today, it's funny how any shifts make a difference. I have to be so careful with myself.

I am going to look into board games...got any good recommendations??

 

Hi DMV, 

 

Sorry you’re stressed about your son moving. Hope everything works out there. 

 

Thats fabulous you do a gratitude list. There is a lot to be grateful for. We may not feel it when we’re in a wave but even things like the sun, the rain, flowers, trees, our friends, the warmth of a heater, the fact we have food, music, movies etc etc. are things to be grateful for. 

 

We need to be grateful for the fact that one day we will be off these meds too, but in the meantime just focus on today, on this moment. That’s all we really have, this particular moment. 

 

A friend brought me the most beautiful flowers yesterday. Definitely something to be grateful for.

 

As for board games, I’m just starting to play games again so don’t have many recommendations. Was going to work out my new board game when I stayed with a friend this weekend but I had no concentration after doing some reading for a few hours. Have brain fog from CFS. 

 

Another friend of mine keeps asking me to come over to play Ticket To Ride with her, as she’s got the American map, I’ve got the European one. I might just go over there and she can show me the ropes. 

 

Once I know how to play a game it will be another great distraction while going through these withdrawals.

 

I want to learn some card games I can play on my own too. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

[DMV64]

9 hours ago, Carmie said:

There is a lot to be grateful for.

I know this is true. Just so hard to see sometimes. Especially in the morning when I am really going through it, which is why I do my list in the morning...

Card games sound like a great idea! Knitting is helping me also!

xoxo

-D

[DMV64]

Well day 3 updose. I KNOW it is early. Day 1 I felt better. Today I feel just as bad as pre-updose. This is of course, my fear. That it will not help at all. Just posting to remind myself to be patient. 

[SkyBlue]

41 minutes ago, DMV64 said:

Well day 3 updose. I KNOW it is early. Day 1 I felt better. Today I feel just as bad as pre-updose. This is of course, my fear. That it will not help at all. Just posting to remind myself to be patient. 

 

Yes, definitely good to remind about being patient. I know it can be so difficult. 

It can take about a week for the change to take effect and there are many variables involved. 

 

Just a reminder to use your non-drug coping techniques, and keep hanging in there.

[DMV64]

@JanCarol @Shep Also so far I have been managing the dog allergy with just nasal spray. But it is getting worse. I am wondering what is the better option: use the antihistimine or get the shots?

[DMV64]

13 minutes ago, SkyBlue said:

keep hanging

Thank you. I am trying. Really crappy day and I have to go teach a class now which is funny since I am delivering THE YOGA.

[Carmie]

16 hours ago, DMV64 said:

I know this is true. Just so hard to see sometimes. Especially in the morning when I am really going through it, which is why I do my list in the morning...

Card games sound like a great idea! Knitting is helping me also!

xoxo

-D

 

Glad to see you’re getting into the knitting DMV,

 

Knitting n crocheting are such amazing strategies when going through withdrawals. There’s something quite soothing about the continual motion of doing the same stitches over n over. 

 

It’s a great thing to do while watching DVDs or Netflix as it doesn’t take any concentration n you don’t need to look at it but you’re hands are keep busy.

 

Keep those knitting needles clicking away. Click! Click! Click!

 

💚💚💚💚

[JanCarol]

10 hours ago, DMV64 said:

I am wondering what is the better option: use the antihistimine or get the shots?

 

Dunno.  The shots will have a longer effect - as in they will "get you used to" your dog.

 

The antihistamine was messing with your bladder, right?

 

10 hours ago, DMV64 said:

Really crappy day and I have to go teach a class now which is funny since I am delivering THE YOGA.

 

LOL "THE YOGA" - the ONE TRUE YOGA?  LOL!!!!

 

This is one day.  You are on a long term plan.  I know it's hard, but you will have many terrible days before it is all over (not what you wanted to hear).  You will have good ones too.

 

It is vital that you don't let yourself get derailed in the day-to-day.  This is a time related thing - the longer you wait and hold, the more stable you will get.  While you are waiting, you can't look at your feet which are stuck in the mud - instead look to the horizon.  You'll see the sun and sky (and maybe the beach) - and know that - today is just one day.  This hour is just one hour.  This minute is just one minute.

 

It's also important to be curious - you say "crappy" and "terrible" - but what does that mean?  Let's hear some nouns, verbs, and adjectives.  "My hair feels like it's crawling off my scalp" or "The fear builds up in my stomach, and I feel I can't face (whatever)"  or "I'm having feelings of . . . (use your feeling chart).  The more descriptive you are with your symptoms, the more you can learn from them.

 

When you learn from them, it is easier to survive - this moment, this minute, this hour, this day.

 

I hope you see the Sun today.

[DMV64]

14 hours ago, JanCarol said:

nouns, verbs, and adjectives

Desperate, overwhelmed. Fearful, anxious, scared, terrified, alienated. Isolated, nadequate, insecure.

[Rosetta]

Quite a list.  I'm with you meaning I have felt those feelings, too, and, as you know, I still feel many of them.  Is today better?  Was last night better?  (I hope so.). Hugs!   -R

[DMV64]

It got better. Today was pretty good all things considered. Thanks for asking!

[Rosetta]

I'm happy to hear it!  Wonderful.  You are welcome.

[wantrelief]

Great to hear, DMV!

[DMV64]

@JanCarol  I really think that the increase in dosage is making my symptoms worse. Is that possible   Suggestions? 

[JanCarol]

Hey D - 

 

I need to remind you:

 

On 6/10/2018 at 6:50 AM, DMV64 said:

It got better. Today was pretty good all things considered. Thanks for asking!

 

You are still struggling with a daily up-down thing.  Every day is another day, and some will be okay, and many will not.

 

 

2 hours ago, DMV64 said:

I really think that the increase in dosage is making my symptoms worse. Is that possible   Suggestions? 

 

OK you updosed a week ago (please use words for months in your signature:  6/4 can be interpreted internationally as June 4, or 6-Apr, and while it's clear right now, in a few months it may not be.)

 

Aren't you glad you didn't follow the Doctor's orders?

 

You are having windows, I am inclined to think that there is no magic dose, and you are still destabilised from December.  I don't want to suggest a change - if you change every 7 days, you will not get stability.  Changes are hard on your system.

 

If you can, keep holding.  I don't think that updosing will do you any more good.  I think that tapering will be the answer - but it is best to wait a full 30 days minimum before you change your dose.

 

Keep working your support on the ground.  I know it's difficult, and many of your friends may not understand what this is about.  Trust me when I say it could be worse.  It can always be worse, when it comes to psych drugs.

 

GIve thanks for what you have.  I was listening to Gene Simmons, who was talking about his mother's survival of Nazi concentration camps:  "Every day above ground is a good day."  I know that seems bleak, but this is the kind of attitude that will get you through this.  

 

You are alive, you are breathing, you are teaching yoga (even when it is hard), you are supporting your mates in recovery, and being supported by them.  You have a loving husband, and 2 (??I hope I didn't miss any) beautiful grown children.  There is a lot to be thankful for, even when your nervous system seems to be your enemy.

 

How can you make friends with your nervous system?  Keep working the Claire Weekes, and have you heard of Baylissa Fredericks (also called "Bliss Johns" in places)?  She has some helpful books, writings and videos, too.  She's another survivor, like me, like you, like many of us here at SA.

 

 

I hope you see the sun today!

[DMV64]

Thank you so much for all of this. I am trying to remember all of my tools and also trying to see progress one sometimes it feels like I’m not making any. Your words are very helpful. I am going into a yoga class right now even though I feel a lot of anxiety. I’m going to talk to my daughter later because she’s having trouble witnessing what I’m going through

[Rosetta]

Thinking of you!!!  Hang in there.

[DMV64]

I had a bunch of windows today!!

[Rosetta]

That's awesome!

[Carmie]

7 hours ago, DMV64 said:

I had a bunch of windows today!!

 

Thats great DMV, 

 

They always come eventually. When you end up back in a wave just remember windows will be coming again.

 

Keep up your knitting. 

 

Sending hugs💚💚

 

 

[DMV64]

Yes. Trying to remember.  Today not as good but not terrible. Just dread about being able to function. Teach. Etc. And keep feeling like I want to go to the hospital. Not sure why. Guess desperation. Must remember windows