MiguelFreeman: question about Lexapro

[MiguelFreeman]

On 28/12/2017 at 3:05 PM, manymoretodays said:

 

Miguel,

 

Are you putting half of a 10 mg. pill in your liquid?  Only?  That would make approximately only a 5 mg. per 10 ml. solution?  Do you follow?  Which would mean that you decreased a whole lot more than you thought you were doing?

 

Or do you put both halves of the 10 mg. pill/tablet in the liquid??

 

Good for you......on the taking care of yourself.  I did a little bit of editing on the post I quoted.  Mostly spacing for ease of reading.

today i had a good day at work but something strange happens as sons as I got home and relaxed I started getting intrusive thoughts I am now going to do my meditation but why is it only when I come home?

they are the same suicidal thoughts but they are just casual now  sometimes they get the image flashback but not has frequent  just strange it happens when i get home ,,,

[brassmonkey]

This is a very good example of the power of distraction.  While at work your mind has a lot of other things to keep it occupied, but once you get home it's left up to it's own devices and can get into trouble. It's like to old saying  "idle hands are the devils workshop".  Almost any form of distraction will work as long as you have to concentrate on what you're doing.  Activities where you can "space out" while doing them won't help all that much.

[MiguelFreeman]

18 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

This is a very good example of the power of distraction.  While at work your mind has a lot of other things to keep it occupied, but once you get home it's left up to it's own devices and can get into trouble. It's like to old saying  "idle hands are the devils workshop".  Almost any form of distraction will work as long as you have to concentrate on what you're doing.  Activities where you can "space out" while doing them won't help all that much.

indeed, I do have a question why do when we wake up we feel like depressed but it quickly passes when we are up , even when i take a nap and wake up it happens anything to do whit cortisol? my intrusive thoughts of suicide are way down I can actually manage them very nice 

[MiguelFreeman]

On 30/12/2017 at 2:23 AM, brassmonkey said:

This is a very good example of the power of distraction.  While at work your mind has a lot of other things to keep it occupied, but once you get home it's left up to it's own devices and can get into trouble. It's like to old saying  "idle hands are the devils workshop".  Almost any form of distraction will work as long as you have to concentrate on what you're doing.  Activities where you can "space out" while doing them won't help all that much.

i have notice that Lexapro is making my blood pressure drop a lot and because of that i get really drowsy and depressed because i think it is  depression but is not 

[MiguelFreeman]

On 30/12/2017 at 2:23 AM, brassmonkey said:

This is a very good example of the power of distraction.  While at work your mind has a lot of other things to keep it occupied, but once you get home it's left up to it's own devices and can get into trouble. It's like to old saying  "idle hands are the devils workshop".  Almost any form of distraction will work as long as you have to concentrate on what you're doing.  Activities where you can "space out" while doing them won't help all that much.

I have noticed that Lexapro is making my blood pressure drop a lot and because of that I get really drowsy and depressed because I think it is  depression but is not ,have you ever had low bp because of the meds and feeling down when you get up 

 

and HAPPY NEW year

[AliG]

Hi Miguel. A lot of strange things happen, whilst withdrawing off the drugs and I have found it best to just accept it  ~ and move on. Try not to question every little thing or it will slowly start to take over your life. It's best if you can stay removed to an extent and put most of it down to the weird and wacky symptoms of withdrawal. Just say to yourself ~ ok , here we go again! Just, more of the same. This too shall pass ...   

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

Best wishes,

Ali

[brassmonkey]

My BP problems had more to do with weight changes than anything else.  Balancing BP meds against current weight as the weight dropped the meds needed changed until I was able to drop them all together.

[MiguelFreeman]

On 31/12/2017 at 8:27 PM, brassmonkey said:

My BP problems had more to do with weight changes than anything else.  Balancing BP meds against current weight as the weight dropped the meds needed changed until I was able to drop them all together.

y its getting better but Since the job I was on i was not accepted (That was a scam because the only wanted me there to do the hard jobs and has soon we ended the sent me away ) but now that I don't have a job I got a bit down and the bad thoughts came again but well gonna keep ignoring them like I always do 

 

For some reason i am not getting notifications from here 

[MiguelFreeman]

On 31/12/2017 at 7:28 PM, AliG said:

Hi Miguel. A lot of strange things happen, whilst withdrawing off the drugs and I have found it best to just accept it  ~ and move on. Try not to question every little thing or it will slowly start to take over your life. It's best if you can stay removed to an extent and put most of it down to the weird and wacky symptoms of withdrawal. Just say to yourself ~ ok , here we go again! Just, more of the same. This too shall pass ...   

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

Best wishes,

Ali

ty I am already a lot less focus on withdrawals but I occasionally talk about it just to let some steam off  since i lost the job i was support to get i am now trying to focus on the gym so i don't be at home just being depressed 

[manymoretodays]

Good job Miguel.  Another job opportunity will arise.  You did your best.  Do not let it get to you.......I repeat........do......not........let.......it........get........to........you.   

 

And you are doing really well........getting all your coping skills in place BEFORE further tapering.

Don't go overboard at the gym.  Good to get those endorphins going though.  I know that really helps me and has longer lasting effects as well on just feeling well.

 

I did see your post on your Lexapro mixing, and that it is a 10mg./10ml. solution that you make.  Just keep mixing it the same way each batch and that should work well.  Do try and check in BEFORE your next reduction too.  Looks like brassmonkey stopped in here, on your journal too!!  Don't hesitate to ask BEFORE further reductions for any help at all with math, and mixing and measuring, or anything.  Okay?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

 

For your notifications go on up to the top right and click on your user name, then go on down and select Account settings and click that open.  You should be able to set or reset your notifications from there.

Edited January 3, 2018 by manymoretodays
notifications addenum

[MiguelFreeman]

On 03/01/2018 at 3:52 PM, manymoretodays said:

Good job Miguel.  Another job opportunity will arise.  You did your best.  Do not let it get to you.......I repeat........do......not........let.......it........get........to........you.   

 

And you are doing really well........getting all your coping skills in place BEFORE further tapering.

Don't go overboard at the gym.  Good to get those endorphins going though.  I know that really helps me and has longer lasting effects as well on just feeling well.

 

I did see your post on your Lexapro mixing, and that it is a 10mg./10ml. solution that you make.  Just keep mixing it the same way each batch and that should work well.  Do try and check in BEFORE your next reduction too.  Looks like brassmonkey stopped in here, on your journal too!!  Don't hesitate to ask BEFORE further reductions for any help at all with math, and mixing and measuring, or anything.  Okay?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

 

For your notifications go on up to the top right and click on your user name, then go on down and select Account settings and click that open.  You should be able to set or reset your notifications from there.

ty it has been quite a journey but well I am trying my best not to let it gets to me but it was quite hard it did worse my scores but I am getting better, today I woke up depressed but I revolted and pick my shelf up but got a bit depressed again but well that's the

withdrawal talking, had some intrusive thoughts but they are minor now  they are those bastard thoughts that you look at something and it says take all of those pills and things like that but its really weak voice now but I am getting better I got a supportive mother 

I didn't go to the gym today because I was completely broken physically, my problems is that I go HARD real hard on the gym the next day I am just broke in pieces physically maybe that contributed to feeling depressed and really tired today 

might need to not be soo hard when training 

I won't make any reductions until the 6 weeks are done and even then I will see how I am doing 

I might need to talk whit brass monkey to see if he can help me with spending the taper dosages soi can  do its method 

I need to stop worrying soo much about getting a job and things like that even my mother says I am worrying a lot and that I don't need 2

since the last drop, i noticed that my brain said m8 chill a bit or I will bite you

soo need to be careful because those intrusive thoughts of suicide or homicide didn't help at all 

but well that's the beast we fight, well live is that a fight but I believe that the reward, in the end, will be all worth 

I need to stop over worrying about that I feel they are just withdrawals 

 

But ty for your support gonna see if i can fix the notification bug

 

Peace, Love

MiguelFreeMan

[MiguelFreeman]

On 03/01/2018 at 3:52 PM, manymoretodays said:

Good job Miguel.  Another job opportunity will arise.  You did your best.  Do not let it get to you.......I repeat........do......not........let.......it........get........to........you.   

 

And you are doing really well........getting all your coping skills in place BEFORE further tapering.

Don't go overboard at the gym.  Good to get those endorphins going though.  I know that really helps me and has longer lasting effects as well on just feeling well.

 

I did see your post on your Lexapro mixing, and that it is a 10mg./10ml. solution that you make.  Just keep mixing it the same way each batch and that should work well.  Do try and check in BEFORE your next reduction too.  Looks like brassmonkey stopped in here, on your journal too!!  Don't hesitate to ask BEFORE further reductions for any help at all with math, and mixing and measuring, or anything.  Okay?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

 

For your notifications go on up to the top right and click on your user name, then go on down and select Account settings and click that open.  You should be able to set or reset your notifications from there.

So far i am recovering but sometimes i do get those suicidal thoughts even dow they are **** and I just try to ignore them but well that's the price .. 

[MiguelFreeman]

On 30/12/2017 at 2:23 AM, brassmonkey said:

This is a very good example of the power of distraction.  While at work your mind has a lot of other things to keep it occupied, but once you get home it's left up to it's own devices and can get into trouble. It's like to old saying  "idle hands are the devils workshop".  Almost any form of distraction will work as long as you have to concentrate on what you're doing.  Activities where you can "space out" while doing them won't help all that much.

hi I still got 5 days and 2 weeks to go when I get to the 6 weeks hold mark my objective is doing an 8 % taper this type by using your method current dose is 8.5 mg of Lexapro keeping in mind the power of Lexapro what dosage shude I divide in 4 weeks 

+ do you just keep cutting the dose in the end of the week  regarless of symptoms ?

[MiguelFreeman]

I am a lot better I have made huge improvements in figuring out the pattern of my symptoms today had a moment of stress and had moderate anxiety and one or two intrusive thoughts and I also am sleeping a lot lately like I wake up but soo tired so I go back to sleep and my family sometimes forces me to get out of bed I don't feel depressed its just tired and wanting to sleep a lot last week was insomnia 

 

Greetings

MiguelFreeman

[brassmonkey]

Hi Miguel-- For me each slide tended to resolve itself by the end of the seven day period between cuts.  There may be a bit of carry over from week to week.  One of our other members has mentioned having to wait almost two weeks between cuts for things to calm down.  If the symptoms are still bad after seven days I'd wait a bit longer. The extra two week hold (weeks 5-6) are there to let everything catch up and stabilize. It's always better not to rush things. 

 

To do an 8% cut from 8.5mgai you would go like this:

Week 1 8.3mgai

Week 2 8.16mgai

Week 3 8.0 mgai

weeks 4-6 7.8 mgai

 

I hope that's what you were looking for.

 

Brassmonkey

[MiguelFreeman]

18 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Hi Miguel-- For me each slide tended to resolve itself by the end of the seven day period between cuts.  There may be a bit of carry over from week to week.  One of our other members has mentioned having to wait almost two weeks between cuts for things to calm down.  If the symptoms are still bad after seven days I'd wait a bit longer. The extra two week hold (weeks 5-6) are there to let everything catch up and stabilize. It's always better not to rush things. 

 

To do an 8% cut from 8.5mgai you would go like this:

Week 1 8.3mgai

Week 2 8.16mgai

Week 3 8.0 mgai

weeks 4-6 7.8 mgai

 

I hope that's what you were looking for.

 

Brassmonkey

ty it was exactly what I asked for 

Intrusive thoughts -8 

Depression-7.5

Nero-fear-6

Nero-anger-8

suicidal feelings -8.5 (they are weak now but they were a big deal when I made the cut )

I am keeping meditation for 15 min 

and keep taking my supplements 

for 1 week I was drinking a bit of red wine  but I stopped that 

I now drink decaf coffee and rarely drink coffee whit caffeine 

I was feeling hopelessness for some time but it's getting better  but sometimes creeps on me 

seems like this little cut was ruff on me maybe because I was not really stable 

15 days to go for the next cut , if I don't feel fine or that the symptoms  don't become very mild

I will not taper until I am completely fine 

those suicidal thoughts where a pain in the ass 

[MiguelFreeman]

On 03/01/2018 at 3:52 PM, manymoretodays said:

Good job Miguel.  Another job opportunity will arise.  You did your best.  Do not let it get to you.......I repeat........do......not........let.......it........get........to........you.   

 

And you are doing really well........getting all your coping skills in place BEFORE further tapering.

Don't go overboard at the gym.  Good to get those endorphins going though.  I know that really helps me and has longer lasting effects as well on just feeling well.

 

I did see your post on your Lexapro mixing, and that it is a 10mg./10ml. solution that you make.  Just keep mixing it the same way each batch and that should work well.  Do try and check in BEFORE your next reduction too.  Looks like brassmonkey stopped in here, on your journal too!!  Don't hesitate to ask BEFORE further reductions for any help at all with math, and mixing and measuring, or anything.  Okay?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

 

For your notifications go on up to the top right and click on your user name, then go on down and select Account settings and click that open.  You should be able to set or reset your notifications from there.

 

Well today I had a whole cascade of strange things happening first I woke up whit those casual suicidal thoughts very mild because I didn't sleep well it ramped them up then I go to the gym had crazy strength way out of my numbers I was doing 80 % more weight the usual,i was  doing shoulder press whit 81 kg that's a PR last week I was doing 30 kg  seems like the SSRI made some hormonal changes after that I went to the lockerrooms and I was having a conversation about the state of rap music and the stupid things that happen whit people from the hood and out of nowhere I felt this Rage and anger and my speech become super aggressive and the funny part is that I didn't even notice it until my brother told me for me it was just a normal conversation, he told me I was Super aggressive speaking that I scared the guy I was talking 2 reminding you he his a bodyguard in a disco ,so if I scared him probably I was Super aggressive in my speech, then after that came homicidal feelings that switched to suicidal feelings and are now going away, I really have no idea what happened in my brain or hormones but that aggressivity and Strength increase might have something to do whit testosterone production ramping up or just becoming normal 

[manymoretodays]

I don't know about completely fine.........I mean waiting, waiting for that.........yet, surely we don't want you to be a homicidal/suicidal maniac........  Not rushing you, mind you.  Oh yes, I agree........on that there is definitely some kind of hormonal change going on with the SSRI and/or possibly the same........with changes in dosages.  It's complicated.  HPA axis stuff??!!!  Or what?  Too heavy on the weights and over training is my best guess........

And good, good that your numbers/journaling are in the good/tolerable/better range.  In this holding period I wonder if you will be able to figure out any patterns.........as far as what activity wise, maybe even food, sleep, etc. seems to make things different.  Have you considered or tried any form of magnesium?  For me......I find it calming.  Initially I felt like a bobble head, using it orally........which was good at the time.........a better weird, than being all worked up about nothing.

 

And okay, great........I understand the calculations that brass gave you, and double checked.  Not that I need to.  How are your measuring syringes holding up Miguel?  I would have to switch mine out periodically due to washing them and then the numbers and lines wearing off.

 

Did you get notifications straightened out?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

[MiguelFreeman]

11 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

I don't know about completely fine.........I mean waiting, waiting for that.........yet, surely we don't want you to be a homicidal/suicidal maniac........  Not rushing you, mind you.  Oh yes, I agree........on that there is definitely some kind of hormonal change going on with the SSRI and/or possibly the same........with changes in dosages.  It's complicated.  HPA axis stuff??!!!  Or what?  Too heavy on the weights and over training is my best guess........

And good, good that your numbers/journaling are in the good/tolerable/better range.  In this holding period I wonder if you will be able to figure out any patterns.........as far as what activity wise, maybe even food, sleep, etc. seems to make things different.  Have you considered or tried any form of magnesium?  For me......I find it calming.  Initially I felt like a bobble head, using it orally........which was good at the time.........a better weird, than being all worked up about nothing.

 

And okay, great........I understand the calculations that brass gave you, and double checked.  Not that I need to.  How are your measuring syringes holding up Miguel?  I would have to switch mine out periodically due to washing them and then the numbers and lines wearing off.

 

Did you get notifications straightened out?

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

well things got hard in this afternoon but they are a lot better now, my syringes have clear duck tape so they markings don't fade, I have effervescent tabs of magnesium  300 mg Each my sleep is out of whack so that's got something to do whit the bad thoughts

I don't know if I taper only when there are no symptoms or when they are mild  hope in 14 days time the suicidal thoughts are gone even dow they are mild they sometimes go up in strength but I can calm them down , I do think that there are hormonal changes happening i fell that my testosterone is going up probably , I do go pretty hard on the weights but got 2 do that to grow  

my patterns are like this :

Depression-->Nero-fear--->Nero-anger--->anxiety--->suicidal thoughts----> homicidal thoughts --->nero-anguish---->lack of concentration----> random laps of memory ---> high pitch tinnitus that goes away fast ----> Repeat----> stabilize 

 

the tinnitus is my brain saying he is done whit the changes they always happen like this after a period of bad feelings I have the tinnitus and I stabilize 

 

by the way i have righted this 5 times already the website keeps deleting for no reason when i click post or click space this is not the first time it happens its a bug i tink 

[brassmonkey]

When writing a post I find it a good idea to press control A and the control C to copy the post into the buffer before I press submit.  That way there is a copy if something goes wrong.

[MiguelFreeman]

On 13/01/2018 at 3:40 AM, brassmonkey said:

When writing a post I find it a good idea to press control A and the control C to copy the post into the buffer before I press submit.  That way there is a copy if something goes wrong.

i have been stable for a couple days symptoms are very mild and almost non existent but i will wait for the rest of the days i have to wait and then decrease suicidal thoughts are rare i am starting to see the pattern 

[ChessieCat]

That's good news, and I'm pleased that you are being patient.

[MiguelFreeman]

On 18/01/2018 at 10:45 PM, ChessieCat said:

That's good news, and I'm pleased that you are being patient.

prob gonna hold even longer than the 45 days  still have some small suicidal PTSD like flashbacks 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Miguel,

 

That sounds okay to me.  You've had a fair amount going on lately.  You ARE getting the hang of it though!  

 

And you had not posted at all for a couple days either.  I noticed.   I hope today was a well one.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

[MiguelFreeman]

2 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Miguel,

 

That sounds okay to me.  You've had a fair amount going on lately.  You ARE getting the hang of it though!  

 

And you had not posted at all for a couple days either.  I noticed.   I hope today was a well one.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

I was just living my life really, trying not to obsess about it today at night I had a strong chest pain and trouble breathing just like a panic attack but it didn't evolve to a panic attack, I did also train chest 2 days ago but did not feel pain until today and also had some PTSD like suicidal flashbacks really strange but well ... let's keep battling i have notice that I am sleeping a lot more I sleep for 10 hours ...  don't know if I am depressed or not .. the main goal is to stabilize and then keep going 

 

hope you are ok 2

Love

MiguelFreeMan

[MiguelFreeman]

On 13/01/2018 at 3:40 AM, brassmonkey said:

When writing a post I find it a good idea to press control A and the control C to copy the post into the buffer before I press submit.  That way there is a copy if something goes wrong.

my suicidal thoughts are almost gone but I am sleeping a lot I generally feel sick no energy and feel just  a sense of fear I m probably gonna go to the doctor and ask for some blood work  this constant Drops on BP and generally feeling weak seems like internal bleeding 

[manymoretodays]

Hi Miguel,

 

20 hours ago, MiguelFreeman said:

I m probably gonna go to the doctor and ask for some blood work  this constant Drops on BP and generally feeling weak seems like internal bleeding 

 

"Seems like internal bleeding"???  Are you using that as a metaphor?  What makes you think you have internal bleeding otherwise?

 

I'm doing well.......thank you for your hopes.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

 

mmt

[MiguelFreeman]

because I get a constant drop in blood pressure and stomach pains but let's hope I don't have any internal bleeding 

so far I am improving my coping skills for suicidal ideations and Nero fear 

sometimes is really hard those intrusives images of suicide but at least, i can snap out of it and start getting in a better mood

in only been 1 month and 5 days since the drop things are improving but I am having days where I go really low 

and feeling really bad  and then those thoughts come but i try to live my live and i am now not slaking in the gym  and i am waking up more early 

 

ty for your support

MiguelFreeman

 

[MiguelFreeman]

4 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi Miguel,

 

 

"Seems like internal bleeding"???  Are you using that as a metaphor?  What makes you think you have internal bleeding otherwise?

 

I'm doing well.......thank you for your hopes.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

 

mmt

2

i do have a question why do i feel tons of Nero - fear and it has been 1 months and 5 days why do I feel suicidal while SSRI are not even compared to benzos or antipsychotics am I just weak mentally? or it is all side effects 

they suicidal toughts are very mild but why do i feel them why cant i just shacke them off

[MiguelFreeman]

i tink i just need to mature a bit there a lot worse cases than me i was at 20 mg not even 8 months ago and I am now at 8.5 .. really need to grow up ...  like thers peapol that they take years just to get to 10 mg just need to keep on fighting and stop being a victim 

[ChessieCat]

It's not that you are weak, it's because your brain has been altered by chemicals and your brain is trying to regain homoeostasis.  It is trying to maintain its equilibrium.

 

During tapering and withdrawal many/most/all of us will feel discomfort.  It can be different for different people and it can be different at different times.  Understanding what is happening can help us to accept it, not fight it and not add more fear which adds more discomfort.  This is why it is important to learn and use non drug coping techniques.  These techniques are helpful during the process of getting off the drug and will be helpful for you during your life in general after drugs.

 

Whenever you experience a time of discomfort you could say to yourself "aha, I know what this is, my brain is fixing itself".

[manymoretodays]

Yup.  I agree.  Miguel, it's withdrawal.  And I used to do that.......what Chessie said.  "Oh well........I must be healing fiercely now" I would say(probably still do sometimes).  It would help.  Turning the mind.  It won't lead to total comfort but it helps a lot.

 

And quit beating yourself over the head.

 

Yup.  You have come a long way down in dosage in 8 months.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

[MiguelFreeman]

19 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

It's not that you are weak, it's because your brain has been altered by chemicals and your brain is trying to regain homoeostasis.  It is trying to maintain its equilibrium.

 

During tapering and withdrawal many/most/all of us will feel discomfort.  It can be different for different people and it can be different at different times.  Understanding what is happening can help us to accept it, not fight it and not add more fear which adds more discomfort.  This is why it is important to learn and use non drug coping techniques.  These techniques are helpful during the process of getting off the drug and will be helpful for you during your life in general after drugs.

 

Whenever you experience a time of discomfort you could say to yourself "aha, I know what this is, my brain is fixing itself".

 

12 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Yup.  I agree.  Miguel, it's withdrawal.  And I used to do that.......what Chessie said.  "Oh well........I must be healing fiercely now" I would say(probably still do sometimes).  It would help.  Turning the mind.  It won't lead to total comfort but it helps a lot.

 

And quit beating yourself over the head.

 

Yup.  You have come a long way down in dosage in 8 months.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

ty for your support things are getting better i am now trying hard to listen to good positive music and it helps a lot and gonna start thinking of the discomfort has my brain healing 

[MiguelFreeman]

For some reason in the couple of days, i have been having anxiety, chest pains, and feeling really hot and blushing and my skin feeling really hot  and a strange sensation in my chest 

[MiguelFreeman]

25 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

Lexapro is a nasty drug. It causes all kinds of symptoms during withdrawal. No two are the same. From my perspective anxiety causes chest pain and an increase in temperature. Recognising that for what it is usually lessens the intensity. Does meditation help you?

ye kinda have been forgetting to meditate I don't know how it will be at the lower dosages I have decreased from 20 mg to 8.5 really quick 8 months time  seems like lexapro is not the most nasty but it has its fair share of nasty effects i only been on it for 1 year and some mounths the other ssri  i was on was zolof 

[MiguelFreeman]

19 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

Lexapro is a nasty drug. It causes all kinds of symptoms during withdrawal. No two are the same. From my perspective anxiety causes chest pain and an increase in temperature. Recognising that for what it is usually lessens the intensity. Does meditation help you?

i am stabilizing since my last cut but the suicidal thoughts and flashbacks where really strong in the beginning and its kinda hard still but i will keep on fighting  btw i am still doing the homemade liquid i do have the prescription for Lexapro liquid form but i am afraid of getting a reaction to it