Nikki74 Posted January 3, 2018 Author Share Posted January 3, 2018 51 minutes ago, Staz said: She's home now. xxxx Ok good. Keep in touch xxxx 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Staz Posted January 3, 2018 Share Posted January 3, 2018 I will do Nikki. Thank you so much. xxxxx Dosulepin 75mg 1996 - 1997 tapered off no problem - Prozac sporadic use between 1995 and 2011 usually 9 months then off. Mirtazapine 2015 tapered off after 4 months no problem -Prozac 20mg 2012-2015 tapered off no problems Prozac 20mg April 2016-May 2016 stopped ct after 4 weeks due to adverse reaction I believe to be serotnin toxicity due to mirtazapine interaction Escitlopram 10 mg May 2016 - cut to 5mg May 2016 stopped ct November 2016 no W/d's noted Lyrica 300mg May 2016 - July 2017 - Taper from Jan to Jul 17 awful taper. Lofepramine 150mg November 2016 - January 2017 Swift w/d as it didn't work Quetiapine 75mg November 2016 changed to 150 XL May2017 changed to 150mg IR July 2017 reduced to in 25mg steps from July to 50mg Oct 17. 37.5mg 12th Nov 17 - 35mg 20 Nov 17 - 30mg 22 Nov 17 - 25mg 24 Nov 17 dropped to 20mg Dec 17, 15mg Jan 18. Current taken at bedtime. Quetiapine dropped Jan 17th 2018. Dosulepin 75mg May 2017 - increased in 25mg steps to 175mg Oct 17 Reduced to 150mg Nov 17 current taken at bedtime Diazepam 15mg May 2016 - c/t'd by shrink after 6 weeks. Reinstated at 12mg after 4 weeks June 16 - current 4mg 3 times a day morning, 2.30pm and bedtime. Mirtazapine 15mg since March 2015 - current - pooped out within 4 weeks Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 4, 2018 Administrator Share Posted January 4, 2018 Nikki, are you sleeping at night now? Depression is a recognized side effect of benzos. You're taking diazepam continuously throughout the day. Would it be possible to reduce each of your daily diazepam doses by 10%? That would be a reduction of 10% for the day. What happened when you took both mirtazapine and Lexapro in the evening? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 2 hours ago, Altostrata said: Nikki, are you sleeping at night now? Depression is a recognized side effect of benzos. You're taking diazepam continuously throughout the day. Would it be possible to reduce each of your daily diazepam doses by 10%? That would be a reduction of 10% for the day. What happened when you took both mirtazapine and Lexapro in the evening? Thank you for responding Alto. I mostly sleep through the night now. Occasionally I wake but do go back to sleep. I am extremely grateful for this. I could reduce as you say. I need to get some scales for dry cutting. My biggest concern is the akathisia. I still have it constantly but it is generally lower level than it was. Some days it does rev up more. What are your thoughts on this? It feels like I should be grateful I am more sedated than I was and less highly agitated. Is it a trade off between the drunk/drugged feeling and depression or higher agitation and akathisia? When I was last taking lexapro at night with the Mirtazipine I was also on pregabalin. I would sleep solidly. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
kesh Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Just saying hi nikki, as a fellow akathisia sufferer. Also on the anti depressant/valium mixture. Akathisia is a nightmare isn't it. Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day. Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit. Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects. Link to comment
Staz Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 6 hours ago, Altostrata said: Nikki, are you sleeping at night now? Depression is a recognized side effect of benzos. You're taking diazepam continuously throughout the day. Would it be possible to reduce each of your daily diazepam doses by 10%? That would be a reduction of 10% for the day. What happened when you took both mirtazapine and Lexapro in the evening? Hi Nikki, I think Alto is right as my depression really kicked in after a couple of months on diazepam and it's a known issue with benzos. My shrink is in total denial about this though as according to him none of my meds can cause depression. I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Steve xx Dosulepin 75mg 1996 - 1997 tapered off no problem - Prozac sporadic use between 1995 and 2011 usually 9 months then off. Mirtazapine 2015 tapered off after 4 months no problem -Prozac 20mg 2012-2015 tapered off no problems Prozac 20mg April 2016-May 2016 stopped ct after 4 weeks due to adverse reaction I believe to be serotnin toxicity due to mirtazapine interaction Escitlopram 10 mg May 2016 - cut to 5mg May 2016 stopped ct November 2016 no W/d's noted Lyrica 300mg May 2016 - July 2017 - Taper from Jan to Jul 17 awful taper. Lofepramine 150mg November 2016 - January 2017 Swift w/d as it didn't work Quetiapine 75mg November 2016 changed to 150 XL May2017 changed to 150mg IR July 2017 reduced to in 25mg steps from July to 50mg Oct 17. 37.5mg 12th Nov 17 - 35mg 20 Nov 17 - 30mg 22 Nov 17 - 25mg 24 Nov 17 dropped to 20mg Dec 17, 15mg Jan 18. Current taken at bedtime. Quetiapine dropped Jan 17th 2018. Dosulepin 75mg May 2017 - increased in 25mg steps to 175mg Oct 17 Reduced to 150mg Nov 17 current taken at bedtime Diazepam 15mg May 2016 - c/t'd by shrink after 6 weeks. Reinstated at 12mg after 4 weeks June 16 - current 4mg 3 times a day morning, 2.30pm and bedtime. Mirtazapine 15mg since March 2015 - current - pooped out within 4 weeks Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 1 hour ago, kesh said: Just saying hi nikki, as a fellow akathisia sufferer. Also on the anti depressant/valium mixture. Akathisia is a nightmare isn't it. Hi Kesh, yes it is! It is the worst experience I’ve ever had, followed closely by severe depressive episodes each day. But the akathisia has been with me 6 months now. How did yours start? Mine started with cting lyrica and lexapro but I’m pretty sure I had experienced it on the lyrica. I see you’re on citalopram? I had a memory that came back to me recently I should add to my signature. I started on citalopram Autumn 2008 and I now know I had akathisia from it then together with a whole host of awful mental symptoms and insomnia. I discontinued it early 2009 when I was crossed over to Mirtazipine. I’m sorry you’re dealing with akathisia too. Nikki 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
kesh Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 How did mine start? Long story... I got aka maybe 10 years ago on starting fluoxetine. Continued with fluoxetine and it went away. The fluoxetine fixed my depression. CT fluoxetine no problem. Maybe 5 or 6 years ago I used Citalopram and Fluoxetine with no aka, quick taper off no aka. A few weeks ago I get back on Fluoxetine and get terrible aka. Doctor takes me off it, puts me on citalopram, valium, zopiclone, propanalol. Got off the zop, got other things down to low doses. And here I am. Also, two and a half years ago I had a summer of MDMA use, with some LSD and ketamine. Wasn't a drug abuser before then, hardly even a drinker. I suspect that this abuse has also played a part in wrecking me, but I felt ok until the recent horrors. I get nice windows. Yesterday I felt 90% normal, but this morning I woke with bad aka and now feel doomed again. Before my diazepam cut I had a five day window! Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day. Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit. Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 (edited) Q. Is it ‘normal’ to get kind of hyper or manic spells in wd? After days of the opposite I just felt I’ve been working up to a bit of a hyper state this pm. I just caught myself and realised it wasn’t feeling right. I’ve had a bit of a better day with feeling more ‘me’ but I found myself multi tasking and jumping from one thing to another and just been relating stories from my younger years to my son in quite an excited, expressive way and had to just come and calm down a bit. Total opposite of how I’ve been lately. I know the akathisia makes things high speed sometimes and I can’t settle but this feels weird. Suddenly felt conscious I was working up to a crescendo and had to take time out. I’d just taken my 5pm diazepam too. Anyone else get this? Feel a bit crazy with it. Trying to focus on making dinner. Ive just remembered feeling like this before in November after having a few hours of a kind of window. The next day a massive wave started. Edited January 4, 2018 by Nikki74 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
powerback Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Hi nikki I'm in the same boat today ,but ile take it any day over dark depression ,the fact your mindful your a bit hyper is a good thing .some deep breathing and don't over think it .the worst case scenario would be buying a new car or maxing out the credit card online and waking up the next day wondering what happened .getting on with the normal daily chores is a practical way to channel it . Last year when I got like this I would stay up late and listen to music and be a bit over the top ,so know I get more mindful and not do anything stimulating after 7 or 8. Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
musk Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 5 hours ago, Staz said: Hi Nikki, I think Alto is right as my depression really kicked in after a couple of months on diazepam and it's a known issue with benzos. My shrink is in total denial about this though as according to him none of my meds can cause depression. I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Steve xx Diazepam causes depresion?? Can it be my case? How do I quit if I take 5 mg every two days (maximum) Since JUN 2016: Sertraline. Took for 1 year, reduced & removed from 100 mg in 2 months. OFF Sertraline since 11 AUG 2017 -OCT and NOV 2017: Hipericum-St.Johns Worth -25 DEC 2017: took sertraline 1 pill 50 mg -Since end DEC 2017: Diazepam 5 mg. Reduced gradually. OFF Diazepam since 30 MAR 2018. -Since end DEC 2017: magnesium, omega3. Link to comment
Moderator Frogie Posted January 4, 2018 Moderator Share Posted January 4, 2018 Just now, musk said: Diazepam causes depresion?? Can it be my case? How do I quit if I take 5 mg every two days (maximum) Hi musk: Ask someone on the benzo forum, but I'm pretty sure you will have to taper off of it. But I'm not a dr or mod. The mods know what to do. Good luck! Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment
Staz Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 26 minutes ago, musk said: Diazepam causes depresion?? Can it be my case? How do I quit if I take 5 mg every two days (maximum) Musk, Yes it can as the half life of diazepam is many days and takes a full 3 weeks to clear your system. All you are doing is topping up your tank of diazepam every other day. Go to the Benzo section and read the pinned posts or PM me. Staz Dosulepin 75mg 1996 - 1997 tapered off no problem - Prozac sporadic use between 1995 and 2011 usually 9 months then off. Mirtazapine 2015 tapered off after 4 months no problem -Prozac 20mg 2012-2015 tapered off no problems Prozac 20mg April 2016-May 2016 stopped ct after 4 weeks due to adverse reaction I believe to be serotnin toxicity due to mirtazapine interaction Escitlopram 10 mg May 2016 - cut to 5mg May 2016 stopped ct November 2016 no W/d's noted Lyrica 300mg May 2016 - July 2017 - Taper from Jan to Jul 17 awful taper. Lofepramine 150mg November 2016 - January 2017 Swift w/d as it didn't work Quetiapine 75mg November 2016 changed to 150 XL May2017 changed to 150mg IR July 2017 reduced to in 25mg steps from July to 50mg Oct 17. 37.5mg 12th Nov 17 - 35mg 20 Nov 17 - 30mg 22 Nov 17 - 25mg 24 Nov 17 dropped to 20mg Dec 17, 15mg Jan 18. Current taken at bedtime. Quetiapine dropped Jan 17th 2018. Dosulepin 75mg May 2017 - increased in 25mg steps to 175mg Oct 17 Reduced to 150mg Nov 17 current taken at bedtime Diazepam 15mg May 2016 - c/t'd by shrink after 6 weeks. Reinstated at 12mg after 4 weeks June 16 - current 4mg 3 times a day morning, 2.30pm and bedtime. Mirtazapine 15mg since March 2015 - current - pooped out within 4 weeks Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 42 minutes ago, powerback said: Hi nikki I'm in the same boat today ,but ile take it any day over dark depression ,the fact your mindful your a bit hyper is a good thing .some deep breathing and don't over think it .the worst case scenario would be buying a new car or maxing out the credit card online and waking up the next day wondering what happened .getting on with the normal daily chores is a practical way to channel it . Last year when I got like this I would stay up late and listen to music and be a bit over the top ,so know I get more mindful and not do anything stimulating after 7 or 8. Thanks PB 😊 feel less crazy now you’ve shared that. Wow this wd thing is a hell of a ride. Can still feel my head buzzing but I’m lying down breathing now. Funny you say about maxing the credit card. I did purchase a few things from amazon earlier, not a fortune but a few dvds n things. Rare I buy anything these days like that. I know I’ve been haphazard with money all my life and have got carried away at times. If I had any money I had to spend it! Trying to be careful these days but it was a bit carefree earlier chucking stuff in the shopping basket on amazon! 🤔 It has been better than depression today! But it felt it was turning into too much the other way. I used to be like that when I drank! One reason I got sober... Thanks for responding. Will my brain ever be normal ish again?! 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
powerback Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 28 minutes ago, Nikki74 said: Thanks PB 😊 feel less crazy now you’ve shared that. Wow this wd thing is a hell of a ride. Can still feel my head buzzing but I’m lying down breathing now. Funny you say about maxing the credit card. I did purchase a few things from amazon earlier, not a fortune but a few dvds n things. Rare I buy anything these days like that. I know I’ve been haphazard with money all my life and have got carried away at times. If I had any money I had to spend it! Trying to be careful these days but it was a bit carefree earlier chucking stuff in the shopping basket on amazon! 🤔 It has been better than depression today! But it felt it was turning into too much the other way. I used to be like that when I drank! One reason I got sober... Thanks for responding. Will my brain ever be normal ish again?! Will my brain ever be normal ish again?! The holy grail of a question I often wonder myself ,its a very loaded question ,I for one never want my normal again before I got sober also [nearly 3 years ] The last 5 years is teaching me more than ever before . Maybe a good way to spend the withdrawl time can be learning to be frugal .I also wasted lots of money over the years[alcohol and all that goes with it ] and I use that to make myself frugal ,there's some good TED talks on it . Our unconscious mind plays tricks on us and we make purchases all the time without thought .give yourself a rule like waiting a day or 2 before buying then seeing if you really want it . I've made my obsession healthy eating ,I got all excited getting a package ,it was broccoli sprouting seeds to make my own ,far cheaper and itl give me nutrients to fight withdrawl . Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 1 hour ago, powerback said: Will my brain ever be normal ish again?! The holy grail of a question I often wonder myself ,its a very loaded question ,I for one never want my normal again before I got sober also [nearly 3 years ] The last 5 years is teaching me more than ever before . Maybe a good way to spend the withdrawl time can be learning to be frugal .I also wasted lots of money over the years[alcohol and all that goes with it ] and I use that to make myself frugal ,there's some good TED talks on it . Our unconscious mind plays tricks on us and we make purchases all the time without thought .give yourself a rule like waiting a day or 2 before buying then seeing if you really want it . I've made my obsession healthy eating ,I got all excited getting a package ,it was broccoli sprouting seeds to make my own ,far cheaper and itl give me nutrients to fight withdrawl . Yeah good for you with the nutrition. I got some Christmas money so will make today’s purchases from that. It was self care stuff, nature documentaries and a set of relaxation dvds of nature with music. Plus I got a set of scales ready for whenever I taper! Have you been tapering 5 years? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 7 hours ago, kesh said: How did mine start? Long story... I got aka maybe 10 years ago on starting fluoxetine. Continued with fluoxetine and it went away. The fluoxetine fixed my depression. CT fluoxetine no problem. Maybe 5 or 6 years ago I used Citalopram and Fluoxetine with no aka, quick taper off no aka. A few weeks ago I get back on Fluoxetine and get terrible aka. Doctor takes me off it, puts me on citalopram, valium, zopiclone, propanalol. Got off the zop, got other things down to low doses. And here I am. Also, two and a half years ago I had a summer of MDMA use, with some LSD and ketamine. Wasn't a drug abuser before then, hardly even a drinker. I suspect that this abuse has also played a part in wrecking me, but I felt ok until the recent horrors. I get nice windows. Yesterday I felt 90% normal, but this morning I woke with bad aka and now feel doomed again. Before my diazepam cut I had a five day window! Sorry I meant to reply earlier Kesh. Well it’s great you get good windows and can feel 90% normal! Wow! It’s a good sign. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
kesh Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 It's also heartbreaking when they end. My fear is that propanalol and diazepam are masking the aka caused by the citalopram. That these windows are just false ones. I want off all my meds, but know tapering is a slow process. Basically fear of akathisia returning, or a wave not ending, dominate my life. All I know is fear. Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day. Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit. Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects. Link to comment
powerback Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 1 hour ago, Nikki74 said: Yeah good for you with the nutrition. I got some Christmas money so will make today’s purchases from that. It was self care stuff, nature documentaries and a set of relaxation dvds of nature with music. Plus I got a set of scales ready for whenever I taper! Have you been tapering 5 years? Apologies if I came across judgemental about your purchases .love nature docs also . not tapering that long .only since last year and painfully slow and lots of holds . All my research and experience has me never wanting to go near the medical community ever again so I will keep at this for life and always want to learn about health and nutrition .it can be a lot of work and prepping food but its all good as they say. Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 4, 2018 Author Share Posted January 4, 2018 59 minutes ago, powerback said: Apologies if I came across judgemental about your purchases .love nature docs also . not tapering that long .only since last year and painfully slow and lots of holds . All my research and experience has me never wanting to go near the medical community ever again so I will keep at this for life and always want to learn about health and nutrition .it can be a lot of work and prepping food but its all good as they say. No it’s ok I didn’t feel judged PB! Don’t worry. Sorry I can’t see signatures on my phone so wasn’t sure. bedtime here and one exhausted single Mum so will bid thee night night and I’ll be back on tomorrow! 👍 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
powerback Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Ok nikki,I have the upmost respect for single parents ,I was with my little neice over Christmas and it was tireing but it was the best fun I had over Christmas also. Total respect. Alcohol free since February 2015 1MG diazepam 4.5MG PROZAC. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 (edited) 10 hours ago, kesh said: It's also heartbreaking when they end. My fear is that propanalol and diazepam are masking the aka caused by the citalopram. That these windows are just false ones. I want off all my meds, but know tapering is a slow process. Basically fear of akathisia returning, or a wave not ending, dominate my life. All I know is fear. I hear you Kesh. I don’t know how much my akathisia is being masked by Mirtazipine and diazepam. I don’t know which drug to chip away at first. I hate being stuck on diazepam in particular. I am in fear everyday and today I feel it gripping me from the start. I try to accept I can’t just get off these drugs and my cns is too unstable. If it’s any consolation over the 6 months I’ve had akathisia and severe wds, it has lessened in intensity many days recently and I’ve not changed anything about my drugs for three months. I think the fact you don’t have it all the time is a good sign too. I do know that waves abate, no matter how long they go on (had an intense 6 week wave end of last year and it did loosen it’s grip eventually). I do know that akathisia isn’t permanent, though I share your fears. I do know that everyone heals in time. Edited January 5, 2018 by Nikki74 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 6 hours ago, powerback said: Ok nikki,I have the upmost respect for single parents ,I was with my little neice over Christmas and it was tireing but it was the best fun I had over Christmas also. Total respect. Thank you PB. It was tough in good health, tougher when my CFS got worse and now, crazy tough. But we do what we need to do. Just pray it doesn’t affect him. Though my son suffers anxiety and lately he’s been hit again with panic attacks and insomnia so I have to support him while inside I’m this mental wreck! 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 5, 2018 Author Share Posted January 5, 2018 (edited) So today I feel like I am seeing signs of stability. Yesterday too apart from the manic couple of hours I had in the evening :/ I feel like in general over the past three weeks maybe I’ve had more spells of lower symptoms. But it’s hard because I still get hit really hard by a day or a section of a day when everything is back full on. Or I’m in the drugged/drunken state all day/ evening. Or I’m just kind of numb. Or horribly depressed. Akathisia is lower generally. But I cannot focus for long on anything. It is my biggest fear with these drugs. How much are they suppressing it? For how long? How did I get it in the first place? But something is happening. In the midst of it all. Something is ‘normalising’ here and there. I can’t really explain it. By normal, I mean by wd standards. My life is not normal. I am housebound. I consistently lose my mornings to the drug effects. I can’t do much other than basic chores and if I’m really lucky, something creative a couple times a week. Miraculously, I did a decent drawing the other day. I simply haven’t had that ability for months. Though I got a migraine after. And I’ve got acne! At 43 years old. I’m finding I look forward to nature documentaries and can focus on them better than before. Not long ago it made me cry to watch them because I felt so grief stricken that I couldn’t feel connected. But granted, things are still pretty unpredictable. Edited January 5, 2018 by Nikki74 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 6, 2018 Administrator Share Posted January 6, 2018 Nikki, it sounds to me like you are having side effects from diazepam. When you are taking too much, it will make you groggy and unable to concentrate, as well as depressed. That is why I suggested carefully reducing the diazepam. Good to hear the symptoms seem to be lightening up. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 3 minutes ago, Altostrata said: Nikki, it sounds to me like you are having side effects from diazepam. When you are taking too much, it will make you groggy and unable to concentrate, as well as depressed. That is why I suggested carefully reducing the diazepam. Good to hear the symptoms seem to be lightening up. Thank you Alto. yes it’s strange as it varies like today after my usual lost morning (I get up early to let the dog out etc then take lexapro and an hour or so later my first diazepam and I’m useless until 11/noon), I got on with some productive stuff at home. Even verging on the hyper side. But so many days I am ‘drunk’ on it most the day and evening to the point I can barely move. Plus the deep depression that comes and goes. Why would it be so variable? Also as I say the akathisia concerns me greatly if I reduce, am I still too unstable to? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 6, 2018 Administrator Share Posted January 6, 2018 Are you taking your drugs at the exact same times each day? How often do you feel better? What do you mean by "hyper"? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 6, 2018 Author Share Posted January 6, 2018 (edited) 1 hour ago, Altostrata said: Are you taking your drugs at the exact same times each day? How often do you feel better? What do you mean by "hyper"? Yes I take them at exactly the same times. 7.45am 5mg lexapro - feel drowsy 9am 2mg diazepam - fall asleep (though when symptoms were highly revved during a 6 week wave Nov into Dec this effect wasn’t there) 1pm 2mg diazepam 5pm 2mg diazepam 11pm 15mg Mirtazipine By hyper I mean I get the wind up my tail and seem driven to do chores that normally I don’t notice need doing or am too doped up/ fatigued to do. And it’s hard to stop. It’s like akathisia brain, next thing next thing, but without the distress. Thursday evening I was really animated and ‘up’ when talking to my son and it felt almost manic which freaked me out a bit. I had to try to ‘come down’. Then it passed. I had this same same thing over Christmas for about three days in a row. It’s not all day but I feel highly productive but not able to stop. Though today I forced myself to do some breathing lying down for ten minutes. Feeling ‘better’ has only just started to happen since maybe second half of December. The bad days or bits of days can still be as bad as ever. But I’ve had more frequent days where symptoms are reduced (or absent, like mental symptoms) and I can feel cognitive and emotional improvements. Eg 1st Jan depressed on coming round from morning meds. Improved after noon. Relatively stable rest of day apart from aka. 2nd very tough day, depression and mental symptoms, drugged feeling, broke down in evening with agitation, anger and depression. 3rd bedbound feeling weak, numb, fed up but restless with aka. After 2.30pm able to get up, shower and be relatively stable for the evening. 4th felt sort of happy first thing. Then slept after morning meds. Ok day, low symptoms. Felt kind of manic @5-6.30pm. Able to watch some tv. 5th bad night with back pain. Ok first thing. Then slept til 11am. Took an hour to ‘engage’ with the day. Productive and energised. Low symptoms. Felt inspired to make something new for dinner. Felt good. 6th today, slept til 11.30am after morning meds. Felt ok. Even quite happy. Showered. Got carried away with many chores. Satisfying but slightly hyper feeling. However i get migraines frequently (3 in December), I had two days towards late Dec where almost all (24 out of 31) symptoms were back and the depression and drugged feeling is more often than not. I always have akathisia but it’s been mostly restlessness this week and less awful agitation and no terror. However, I’m at home and being around people can rev me up. Better for me is in the setting of my home. No idea how I’d be out in the world. Not able to drive or go to shops. Long response and I don’t know if it’s clear! Edited January 6, 2018 by Nikki74 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 Has anyone tapered while having akathisia already? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Yes I did, Nikki. It was after I updosed way too much. I had nonstop akathasia and trembling for 2 months. I didn’t sleep and ate very little. I ended up inpatient and they brought lexapro down by 50%. That obviously was too much but the akathasia stopped and brought on the flu-like symptoms. I’ve had anxiety since then (August) and akathasia at times, but nothing like I went through prior to the reduction. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 3 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: Yes I did, Nikki. It was after I updosed way too much. I had nonstop akathasia and trembling for 2 months. I didn’t sleep and ate very little. I ended up inpatient and they brought lexapro down by 50%. That obviously was too much but the akathasia stopped and brought on the flu-like symptoms. I’ve had anxiety since then (August) and akathasia at times, but nothing like I went through prior to the reduction. Lg Thank you for resting Lg. Terrible experience for you! At least you know it’s the Lexapro I guess. Anxiety is no joke either I know. Does the akathisia flare when you cut? I can’t recall if you’ve made a reduction since sorry, memory shocking and can’t see signatures on my iPhone. Sending you healing wishes. Xxx 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Littlegrandma Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Nikki i cut last Saturday. Just down to 4.8 from 5. Anxiety ramped up first few days. And also akathasia. Maybe from going to liquid from tablet. Now I’m just blah. No energy. Not quite depression. Maybe anhedonia, Scorpio thinks. Anxiety bad at 3 or 4 am when I wake. It settles with the Ativan, then I’m so tired it takes one hand to move the other. It’s nice to finally have a break from the anxiety but this is no picnic. But I usually have the blues in the winter anyway. We’ve gone from sub zero temps for a few weeks to freezing rain today. So I haven’t been out much. Getting 4 wall crazy. Sorry. Got carried away. Who needs a therapist? Ha healing wishes back at ya. Lg Lex 4.3mg, 3/2/18 Ativan ,5 mg, lunesta 2 mg , toprol 25 mg Oct 16-28 2018 C/O to 19 mg V from 1.5 mg Ativan, 1.3 mg lunesta jan 22 2019- 11 mg V jan 23 - pneumonia, 2 AB’s. Hold taper july 5- 10.72 V July 6- 11 mg V- ugly bad july 11- 10.72 mg V, 4.3 lex, 25 mg toprol Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Sorry to hear this: I had no idea you were going through anguish too . Lg Nikki I’m sorry for your pain too . 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 8, 2018 Administrator Share Posted January 8, 2018 When exactly do you get these "hyper" periods? Do they happen at the same time when they do happen? I think you grasp a complication of your situation. On one hand, the diazepam may be subduing akathisia. On the other hand, you're experiencing some significant side effects. It is possible that since October 8, when you started on your current diazepam schedule, your nervous system has settled down a bit and a little less will have the same benefit with fewer side effects. However, since you're taking 3 drugs, it's hard to tell what's doing what. To conduct a proper experiment, you'd have to keep everything else consistent, carefully reduce the diazepam, and take good notes of the results. In the evening, before you take mirtazapine, are you already drowsy? What happens after you take mirtazapine? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted January 8, 2018 Author Share Posted January 8, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, Altostrata said: When exactly do you get these "hyper" periods? Do they happen at the same time when they do happen? Alto, thank you for taking the time to look at this for me. Mostly the hyper periods come around 12.30pm and go on until maybe 3.30pm/4. My CFS means I do stop to lie down but am then driven to do something else. These only started over the Christmas holidays. I started getting ideas about things that needed doing one night and the next day I felt compelled to do them and it carried on for three days (but in that afterwards time slot). It feels a bit ocd. I had that really bad after the cts last year and through til Sept. I do still have an ocd thing where if I miss what someone’s said on tv I have to rewind and rewatch until I’ve worked it out. This started in August. Have always had slight tendency to mild ocd and some pure o stuff. I had it early evening last week (Thursday?) instead of the afternoon. Quote I think you grasp a complication of your situation. On one hand, the diazepam may be subduing akathisia. On the other hand, you're experiencing some significant side effects. Yes, it’s complex! When the agitation/ terror is right up, the diazepam does nothing to subdue it. Quote It is possible that since October 8, when you started on your current diazepam schedule, your nervous system has settled down a bit and a little less will have the same benefit with fewer side effects. This would be good if so! Quote However, since you're taking 3 drugs, it's hard to tell what's doing what. To conduct a proper experiment, you'd have to keep everything else consistent, carefully reduce the diazepam, and take good notes of the results. And that would be a reduction across the three pills rather than taking it off one of the pills only? Quote In the evening, before you take mirtazapine, are you already drowsy? What happens after you take mirtazapine? It’s inconsistent how I feel before taking it. I might be so exhausted I am drowsy already. On the drugged feeling days it can carry on til bedtime and I take the Mirtazipine and am out like a light. At least half the time, I’m not drowsy when I take it and often quite stressed as my son is having issues with panic attacks and sleep so I’ve normally dealt with that before bed and am highly stressed so do breathing and gentle stretches before taking the Mirtazipine. Normally, it takes 30mins-1 hour to fall asleep after taking the Mirtazipine. I have to eat something after taking it otherwise my tummy feels instantly empty (strange) and I feel starving and can’t drop off. Edited January 8, 2018 by Nikki74 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
kesh Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 14 hours ago, Littlegrandma said: Yes I did, Nikki. It was after I updosed way too much. I had nonstop akathasia and trembling for 2 months. I didn’t sleep and ate very little. I ended up inpatient and they brought lexapro down by 50%. That obviously was too much but the akathasia stopped and brought on the flu-like symptoms. I’ve had anxiety since then (August) and akathasia at times, but nothing like I went through prior to the reduction. Lg Interesting. Maybe I should reduce the citalopram sooner or more aggressively. So hard to know. It's 2 weeks since my last cut (when I reduced diazepam). Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day. Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit. Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects. Link to comment
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