Nikki74: Lexapro mirtazapine diazepam akathisia

[Frogie]

8 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Thank you for writing US.

 

I don’t know what to do. Everything is so bad. My gut pain and diarrhoea is through the day and bleeding when I go too. 

 

Yesterday I had intrusive memories all day with it all too.

 

I’m holding on but can’t see any light. 

 

Were you ever this bad?

 

Ive been calling Baylissa’s helpline but she’s not sure I’ll stabilise. 

Hi Nikki:

 

If you read my signature you will see how bad off I was. I tapered off a bunch of meds in 2015. Then one day, June 2016, I decided to cut my Lexapro in 1/2. I don't know why, I just thought I could get off of it faster. Well, what a nightmare. I was throwing up non stop, nauseous everyday, just to name a few symptoms. I had diarrhea non stop for months. That's when I found SA. They worked and worked with me for ever (still are). I finally stabilized in January, 2017, when I could actually taper the correct way. I was on liquid Lexapro by then.

 

Well, I got to one point, and I was getting sicker and sicker. I was nauseous every morning before my feet touched the floor. I ended up going back up in dosage of Lexapro for a while, and was finally able to taper down. Apace41 was a lifesaver for me. He helped me get back to "normal" on my taper and supplements. He still helps me a lot.

 

In September, 2017, i was at 5.5. I was sick in October, on 4 different antibiotics so I didn't taper. In the middle of November, 2017, I hurt my back and was on 3 meds for that. I started to taper on November 9th, and over this last weekend, I realized something was off. I was looking at my dosage syringe that the pharmacy gave me. I thought it looked skinnier than my usual 10ml one I was using. It was. I was using a 5ml syringe. I was drawing my Lexapro up to the line I always do, putting it in a medicine cup, adding some apple juice and drinking it. I looked at the syringe and realized I was taking 2.5ml Lexapro instead of the 4.9 I should have gone down to on my 10% taper. I freaked! I was putting it on my thread. Gridley, Manymoretodays and Brassmonkey all came to my rescue. Since I had been doing it for a month, everyone thinks I'll be ok. I talked to my dr, I trust his judgement, believe it or not. He said I had been doing it for almost a month, I should be ok. He has been great at letting me taper at will. I have some additional anxiety in the morning, but I take my 2nd Xanax for the day and I'm ok. I have a lot of situational anxiety going on right now (on my thread). I've only been nauseous a couple of times. One was at a holiday party we went to and I ate foods I'm not used too. And I'm always nauseous when I taper, so I kinda wondered what was going on. But I wasn't paying attention. Apace41 came in and helped me on Monday.

 

Anyways, Nikki, that's my story. You probably didn't want to hear about me. But I wanted you to know that you are more stable than me. You are taking the correct amount of meds at the correct time. It sometimes takes many months to stabilize, especially when you change meds or dosages. Just be patient. You will stabilize. And you will feel better.

 

AliG is great. She has helped me too. She will get you where you need to be.

 

If you have any questions or want to vent or talk, I'm here to listen. I'm not a mod or a dr, but I can be a friend. 

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

[Nikki74]

1 hour ago, Frogie said:

Hi Nikki:

 

If you read my signature you will see how bad off I was. I tapered off a bunch of meds in 2015. Then one day, June 2016, I decided to cut my Lexapro in 1/2. I don't know why, I just thought I could get off of it faster. Well, what a nightmare. I was throwing up non stop, nauseous everyday, just to name a few symptoms. I had diarrhea non stop for months. That's when I found SA. They worked and worked with me for ever (still are). I finally stabilized in January, 2017, when I could actually taper the correct way. I was on liquid Lexapro by then.

 

Thank you  for sharing your story, Frogie, I really appreciate it. I go on this site on my phone so can’t see signatures, should use my laptop! 

 

How were you after tapering all the meds in 2015? 

 

Gosh I jumped off lyrica and lexapro in the space of 4 weeks in June, then Zopiclone in September. Well you know if you’ve seen my signature! 

 

Yes, I’ve actually bought double the usual amount of toilet roll this week realising the diarrhoea is in for the long term! 

 

It’s good to read you stabilised eventually. It’s only been 2 months for me after 4 months of crazy cts and dose changes and all that. Family and friends can’t believe it’s going on so long but I know it’s early days and I can feel how totally unglued I am in every part of my body and brain!! Akathisia is the worst and no one gets why I meltdown and cry and shake and can’t be still when in their company. 

Quote

Well, I got to one point, and I was getting sicker and sicker. I was nauseous every morning before my feet touched the floor. I ended up going back up in dosage of Lexapro for a while, and was finally able to taper down. Apace41 was a lifesaver for me. He helped me get back to "normal" on my taper and supplements. He still helps me a lot.

 

Were you getting sicker because you were tapering too much? 

 

Im too nervous to try supplements as struggled to tolerate them before the cts.

Quote

In September, 2017, i was at 5.5. I was sick in October, on 4 different antibiotics so I didn't taper. In the middle of November, 2017, I hurt my back and was on 3 meds for that. I started to taper on November 9th, and over this last weekend, I realized something was off. I was looking at my dosage syringe that the pharmacy gave me. I thought it looked skinnier than my usual 10ml one I was using. It was. I was using a 5ml syringe. I was drawing my Lexapro up to the line I always do, putting it in a medicine cup, adding some apple juice and drinking it. I looked at the syringe and realized I was taking 2.5ml Lexapro instead of the 4.9 I should have gone down to on my 10% taper. I freaked! I was putting it on my thread. Gridley, Manymoretodays and Brassmonkey all came to my rescue. Since I had been doing it for a month, everyone thinks I'll be ok. I talked to my dr, I trust his judgement, believe it or not. He said I had been doing it for almost a month, I should be ok. He has been great at letting me taper at will. I have some additional anxiety in the morning, but I take my 2nd Xanax for the day and I'm ok. I have a lot of situational anxiety going on right now (on my thread). I've only been nauseous a couple of times. One was at a holiday party we went to and I ate foods I'm not used too. And I'm always nauseous when I taper, so I kinda wondered what was going on. But I wasn't paying attention. Apace41 came in and helped me on Monday.

 

You must have panicked! I would! So are you adjusting after that drop? I’m sorry that happened to you as well as illness and your back. 

 

 

Thank you Frogie, so kind of you! I just feel sooo unstable! Clearly I am lol otherwise I wouldn’t be on here going crazy over my symptoms. Being housebound with v weak legs and vertigo does my head in too. Gosh I couldn’t handle a party. Used to love them! But it’s been years with the CFS and not being able to socialise like that. I do miss family times though. 

 

Im glad you’ve found lots of support on here and are getting back on track.

Quote

Anyways, Nikki, that's my story. You probably didn't want to hear about me. But I wanted you to know that you are more stable than me. You are taking the correct amount of meds at the correct time. It sometimes takes many months to stabilize, especially when you change meds or dosages. Just be patient. You will stabilize. And you will feel better.

 

Thanks. I fear going loopy with the isolation and crazy head stuff and akathisia in the meantime but I’ll try to keep the hope!!

Quote

AliG is great. She has helped me too. She will get you where you need to be.

 

If you have any questions or want to vent or talk, I'm here to listen. I'm not a mod or a dr, but I can be a friend. 

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

So kind, I will do that and reach out. It’s helped me to hear your story. You take good care too xxx

 

ps when did you start the Xanax? I worry about being on a benzo but hope one day I’ll be stable enough to chip away at it.

Edited December 5, 2017 by Nikki74

[Frogie]

57 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

 

Thank you  for sharing your story, Frogie, I really appreciate it. I go on this site on my phone so can’t see signatures, should use my laptop! 

 

How were you after tapering all the meds in 2015? 

 

Gosh I jumped off lyrica and lexapro in the space of 4 weeks in June, then Zopiclone in September. Well you know if you’ve seen my signature! 

 

Yes, I’ve actually bought double the usual amount of toilet roll this week realising the diarrhoea is in for the long term! 

 

It’s good to read you stabilised eventually. It’s only been 2 months for me after 4 months of crazy cts and dose changes and all that. Family and friends can’t believe it’s going on so long but I know it’s early days and I can feel how totally unglued I am in every part of my body and brain!! Akathisia is the worst and no one gets why I meltdown and cry and shake and can’t be still when in their company. 

 

Were you getting sicker because you were tapering too much? 

 

Im too nervous to try supplements as struggled to tolerate them before the cts.

 

You must have panicked! I would! So are you adjusting after that drop? I’m sorry that happened to you as well as illness and your back. 

 

 

Thank you Frogie, so kind of you! I just feel sooo unstable! Clearly I am lol otherwise I wouldn’t be on here going crazy over my symptoms. Being housebound with v weak legs and vertigo does my head in too. Gosh I couldn’t handle a party. Used to love them! But it’s been years with the CFS and not being able to socialise like that. I do miss family times though. 

 

Im glad you’ve found lots of support on here and are getting back on track.

 

Thanks. I fear going loopy with the isolation and crazy head stuff and akathisia in the meantime but I’ll try to keep the hope!!

So kind, I will do that and reach out. It’s helped me to hear your story. You take good care too xxx

I'm on an iPad so I can't copy and paste. I'll try to number your questions.

1.  I did fine tapering all my meds in 2015. I had no symptoms and I tapered fast according to a psychiatrist. I tapered, Gabepentn, Lamictal, Omeprazole, Zantac, and Valium.

2.  I don't know how many times I went to the dr because I was nauseous and had diarrhea. They couldn't figure it out. They told me it wasn't related to WD. But we all know different. I now take a digestive enzyme twice a day and Metamucil and that helps. It doesn't always take it away, but helps. It will eventually level out, but it takes time. Hang in there. I have IBS now, and as soon as I get up, everyone better be away from the bathroom because I have to go that fast.

3.  Unfortunately it's going to take more than 2 months to stabilize. It took me 8 months before I could taper just a little. And could take longer than me because you have been on/off so many meds in a short time.

4.  I don't know why I got sicker and sicker. It was when I hit the 7mg mark on Lexapro. It was like my body didn't want to accept it or reject it. It took a few months and back up in the 8's for a while, but I made it.

5.   I took magnesium and figured out it made me sick. I know take Vitamin E, Omega's, and Milk Thistle for my liver.

6.   My back is fine. It was my own fault for carrying something too heavy and I pulled and strained my back. I was on Percocet, Flexril and an anti inflammatory. In October, I was really sick and was on 4 different antibiotics before it finally went away.

7.  I really went into panic mode when I figured out I cut my Lexapro by more than 50%! But after talking to the mods and my dr I figured I would be ok. Everytime I make a taper, I get nausea, and didn't this time. It was strange. So I'm just holding until January and go from there. But I have Xanax yet to taper. That scares me because I get panic/anxiety bad. But I will be ok. 

8.  I don't work, live in a small (600 people) town. I don't like it at all. If you weren't born here, or lived here all your life, you don't belong here. I've lived here almost 5 years and have a person across the street that is kinda a friend. I don't leave the house except to go to the little grocery store, the dr or my therapy. I stay in my "safe place". We don't have stores. I have to drive 16 miles to 2 dollar stores, a bigger grocery store (but no bakery or deli) and a small Walmart type store that is way overpriced. I'll be so glad when we move home in a year or so. Have work to do to get our place where we can rent it. My fiancé is remodeling one of the bathrooms right now. He had to take out the wall between my granddaughters room and bathroom and my granddaughters room had a hole in the subfloor. She's 10. I live 2 1/2 hours away from her and she wants to come visit. It's breaking my heart because she can't right now. I hope she can soon. I used to live 20 minutes from her. I'm missing out on her life so much it's really hurting, I cry a lot.

9.  I have no choice but to go to these parties or my fiancé would send me packing lol... I take my Xanax and sit in the back of the room. We don't stay long.

10. You will stabilize. Just remember it's not overnight. It will take quite a while, so just sit back and relax and you will feel better.

 

I will be happy to talk to you anytime. I look forward to a new friend.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Nikki74]

19 hours ago, Frogie said:

I'm on an iPad so I can't copy and paste. I'll try to number your questions.

1.  I did fine tapering all my meds in 2015. I had no symptoms and I tapered fast according to a psychiatrist. I tapered, Gabepentn, Lamictal, Omeprazole, Zantac, and Valium.

That’s amazing you tapered all of those and were ok. 

19 hours ago, Frogie said:

2.  I don't know how many times I went to the dr because I was nauseous and had diarrhea. They couldn't figure it out. They told me it wasn't related to WD. But we all know different. I now take a digestive enzyme twice a day and Metamucil and that helps. It doesn't always take it away, but helps. It will eventually level out, but it takes time. Hang in there. I have IBS now, and as soon as I get up, everyone better be away from the bathroom because I have to go that fast.

3.  Unfortunately it's going to take more than 2 months to stabilize. It took me 8 months before I could taper just a little. And could take longer than me because you have been on/off so many meds in a short time.

I know. I just feel so crazy with all my symptoms. So many mental symptoms- intrusive and looping thoughts, terror, claustrophobic in my head, deep depression, restless head, anxiety, despair, memory impairment, can’t follow anything...then the physical ones, the agitation, akathisia type stuff, muscle weakness, gastro stuff, etc I worry the three drugs I’m in won’t allow stability as they have side effects of their own, particularly the benzo. Everyday I feel I can’t go on feeling so ill in every way. 

19 hours ago, Frogie said:

4.  I don't know why I got sicker and sicker. It was when I hit the 7mg mark on Lexapro. It was like my body didn't want to accept it or reject it. It took a few months and back up in the 8's for a while, but I made it.

5.   I took magnesium and figured out it made me sick. I know take Vitamin E, Omega's, and Milk Thistle for my liver.

6.   My back is fine. It was my own fault for carrying something too heavy and I pulled and strained my back. I was on Percocet, Flexril and an anti inflammatory. In October, I was really sick and was on 4 different antibiotics before it finally went away.

7.  I really went into panic mode when I figured out I cut my Lexapro by more than 50%! But after talking to the mods and my dr I figured I would be ok. Everytime I make a taper, I get nausea, and didn't this time. It was strange. So I'm just holding until January and go from there. But I have Xanax yet to taper. That scares me because I get panic/anxiety bad. But I will be ok. 

8.  I don't work, live in a small (600 people) town. I don't like it at all. If you weren't born here, or lived here all your life, you don't belong here. I've lived here almost 5 years and have a person across the street that is kinda a friend. I don't leave the house except to go to the little grocery store, the dr or my therapy. I stay in my "safe place". We don't have stores. I have to drive 16 miles to 2 dollar stores, a bigger grocery store (but no bakery or deli) and a small Walmart type store that is way overpriced. I'll be so glad when we move home in a year or so. Have work to do to get our place where we can rent it. My fiancé is remodeling one of the bathrooms right now. He had to take out the wall between my granddaughters room and bathroom and my granddaughters room had a hole in the subfloor. She's 10. I live 2 1/2 hours away from her and she wants to come visit. It's breaking my heart because she can't right now. I hope she can soon. I used to live 20 minutes from her. I'm missing out on her life so much it's really hurting, I cry a lot.

9.  I have no choice but to go to these parties or my fiancé would send me packing lol... I take my Xanax and sit in the back of the room. We don't stay long.

10. You will stabilize. Just remember it's not overnight. It will take quite a while, so just sit back and relax and you will feel better.

 

If I could relax, I’d be stable. I’ve not been able to relax for 6 months because of the akathisia.

 

🙁

19 hours ago, Frogie said:

I will be happy to talk to you anytime. I look forward to a new friend.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Thanks Frogie, just living in despair every single day xx

[Staz]

Hi Nikki,

sorry to hear what you are still going through. i'm in the same boat with lots of meds changed in the last 18 months and like you I'm paying a high price for it. I've been unstable due to the meds changes for the entire time. It's turned me into a depressed unemployed zombie. I know it's hard to do but I think I need to try and make no further drug changes for a few months and try and stay away from alcohol. I'm not a big drinker by any stretch but I'm sure I've helped put myself into cross tolerance with my diazepam due to it. I don't drink more than 2 x 500ml 4% beers in any 24 hours but even that done a few days a week I believe has caused me problems.

Wishing you well.

Staz

[Frogie]

4 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

That’s amazing you tapered all of those and were ok. 

I know. I just feel so crazy with all my symptoms. So many mental symptoms- intrusive and looping thoughts, terror, claustrophobic in my head, deep depression, restless head, anxiety, despair, memory impairment, can’t follow anything...then the physical ones, the agitation, akathisia type stuff, muscle weakness, gastro stuff, etc I worry the three drugs I’m in won’t allow stability as they have side effects of their own, particularly the benzo. Everyday I feel I can’t go on feeling so ill in every way. 

 

If I could relax, I’d be stable. I’ve not been able to relax for 6 months because of the akathisia.

 

🙁

Thanks Frogie, just living in despair every single day xx

Hi Nikki:

 

I'm still not sure that I didn't have WD symptoms after getting off all those meds, but it's overwith now. It's been over 2 years.

 

Today, I'm having a flat day. But I have some akasthisia going on. It is the weirdest thing, it's always in my knees, otherwise, I have some anxiety when I 1st get up, but by the time I take my 2nd Xanax for the day I'm ok. I got everything out to wrap Christmas presents, put all the gifts in boxes and looked at the wrapping paper and walked away. I'm now sitting in my chair with my 16 year old chihuahua with a heating blanket on me because my feet are freezing. I had to go out to the storage to get some gift boxes, and the wind is cold and blowing hard. They said 25% chance of snow tomorrow, I hope so. I think I'm depressed because we usually have had 3-4 snow storms by now and it's been in the 50's-60's. One day it was 80. It's time for snow! I'm also getting depressed because I really don't like this time of year. Family situations throughout the years. And I don't know if I'm going to get to see my granddaughter before Christmas or not because of the remodeling going on. My fiancé is really taking his time. I know he works hard during the day and is tired, but he is the one that said it would be done in 2-3 weeks. This is going on the 2nd week, and we only have a bathroom floor and tub. Still no walls, painting, vanity, toilet, shower and running water, tile, and my granddaughters floor done in her bedroom. I'm becoming very depressed about that. I just leave the doors shut and don't go near it.

 

I was really stupid and not paying attention when I made that 50% taper of my Lexapro, but I'm determined to hold and not updose. That could be causing some of my depression and akasthisia, but it just started today and that was almost a month ago (the 9th it will be a month). I'm having some GI issues, I have to run to the bathroom. Haven't had that in forever. Could be something I ate though too.

 

Do you have GI issues where you have to run to the bathroom? Does food appeal to you? Right now, I eat a banana in the morning, but before lunch I drink 32 ounces of water, so lunch doesn't sound good. I think I need to slow down on water between breakfast and lunch, maybe I would be hungry.

 

I dont go anywhere either. Like I told you I live in a really small town, and have to drive 16 miles one way to go to the dr or therapy. You can only go to the 3 stores so many times before you become really bored. Sad when you know where everything is and the cost of everything in the stores lol...

 

Hang in there it will get better. I'm just having a bad day. But I don't have them too often. They will get less for you as you hold on your meds.

 

So, today, I'm feeling just like you. Flat, depressed and akasthisia. I hope we both feel better.  

 

Sorry, I probably bored you...

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Nikki74]

3 hours ago, Staz said:

Hi Nikki,

sorry to hear what you are still going through. i'm in the same boat with lots of meds changed in the last 18 months and like you I'm paying a high price for it. I've been unstable due to the meds changes for the entire time. It's turned me into a depressed unemployed zombie. I know it's hard to do but I think I need to try and make no further drug changes for a few months and try and stay away from alcohol. I'm not a big drinker by any stretch but I'm sure I've helped put myself into cross tolerance with my diazepam due to it. I don't drink more than 2 x 500ml 4% beers in any 24 hours but even that done a few days a week I believe has caused me problems.

Wishing you well.

Staz

Hi Staz

Thanks for writing. I’m so sorry you’re going through all this too. I hope you can cut out the alcohol as I know it doesn’t help with this stuff, even a small amount. It’s another one day at a time thing. 

 

And yes it sounds like you really need to hold with no changes for a good long time. It feels like a powerless place to be but your brain is crying out for it. Like mine is. 

 

I’m completely unglued, fried, severely impaired (sometimes I just stare and have no concept of anything, time, real life). Others I’m so agitated and terror stricken. Others just sobbing with the intrusive memories and sense of shock. Depression is thick and heavy.

 

I had a brief moment of belief earlier that things will improve. WD brain obscures it most the time.

 

We’re on this path together Staz and need to give our brains a chance to heal a bit after all they’ve been put through.

 

Keep in touch. We’ll get there. To a better place where tapering can happen slowly. X

[UnfoldingSky]

On 05/12/2017 at 2:30 AM, Nikki74 said:

Thank you for writing US.

 

I don’t know what to do. Everything is so bad. My gut pain and diarrhoea is through the day and bleeding when I go too. 

 

Yesterday I had intrusive memories all day with it all too.

 

I’m holding on but can’t see any light. 

 

Were you ever this bad?

 

Ive been calling Baylissa’s helpline but she’s not sure I’ll stabilise. 

 

Hi Nikki,

 

I know what you mean, I have been pretty well just as bad too.  Though i had different bowel issues, but yes, it was just horrid.  What you describe in your recent post I could be like too. Just feeling totally without a center, in a state of terror. It will get better, I know it seems grim at the moment, but it will. 

 

Also, I didn't realize Baylissa had a helpline, wonder how long that's been around?  Good to know, I recall some of her stuff, she seemed rather soothing.  I wish she could pinpoint for you how long stabilizing will take.xx

 

Thinking of you,

 

US

[UnfoldingSky]

Also Nik, I had the staring thing too...sometimes I had no ability to conceptualize anything, I felt totally vacant.

[Nikki74]

3 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Hi Nikki,

 

I know what you mean, I have been pretty well just as bad too.  Though i had different bowel issues, but yes, it was just horrid.  What you describe in your recent post I could be like too. Just feeling totally without a center, in a state of terror. It will get better, I know it seems grim at the moment, but it will. 

 

Also, I didn't realize Baylissa had a helpline, wonder how long that's been around?  Good to know, I recall some of her stuff, she seemed rather soothing.  I wish she could pinpoint for you how long stabilizing will take.xx

 

Thinking of you,

 

US

Thank you for writing, US.

 

I hope it gets better, I feel so much worse particularly with the mental symptoms. Last night I thought I was going to completely lose touch. My son going away is really triggering some bizarre, dark and challenging thoughts. I keep getting images of me just losing my mind when he goes and having to be put in hospital! It’s like I have no buffers for emotional stuff and I fear it’ll tip me over. Baylissa says it’s not possible to lose your mind in this. I hope it’s just wd brain telling me this stuff. My family will call to see me but I find company so hard as I just get more agitated (this has got so much worse these past few weeks) and like I want to hide.

 

Baylissa started her helpline in October but then she was in hospital for a procedure and is back now. 

 

I woke up terrified today of taking diazepam having been alcoholic and worrying it’s just all too much damage for my GABA receptors. But what can I do now?

 

I hope you’re doing ok US X

[Nikki74]

21 hours ago, Frogie said:

Hi Nikki:

 

I'm still not sure that I didn't have WD symptoms after getting off all those meds, but it's overwith now. It's been over 2 years.

 

Today, I'm having a flat day. But I have some akasthisia going on. It is the weirdest thing, it's always in my knees, otherwise, I have some anxiety when I 1st get up, but by the time I take my 2nd Xanax for the day I'm ok. I got everything out to wrap Christmas presents, put all the gifts in boxes and looked at the wrapping paper and walked away. I'm now sitting in my chair with my 16 year old chihuahua with a heating blanket on me because my feet are freezing. I had to go out to the storage to get some gift boxes, and the wind is cold and blowing hard. They said 25% chance of snow tomorrow, I hope so. I think I'm depressed because we usually have had 3-4 snow storms by now and it's been in the 50's-60's. One day it was 80. It's time for snow! I'm also getting depressed because I really don't like this time of year. Family situations throughout the years. And I don't know if I'm going to get to see my granddaughter before Christmas or not because of the remodeling going on. My fiancé is really taking his time. I know he works hard during the day and is tired, but he is the one that said it would be done in 2-3 weeks. This is going on the 2nd week, and we only have a bathroom floor and tub. Still no walls, painting, vanity, toilet, shower and running water, tile, and my granddaughters floor done in her bedroom. I'm becoming very depressed about that. I just leave the doors shut and don't go near it.

 

I was really stupid and not paying attention when I made that 50% taper of my Lexapro, but I'm determined to hold and not updose. That could be causing some of my depression and akasthisia, but it just started today and that was almost a month ago (the 9th it will be a month). I'm having some GI issues, I have to run to the bathroom. Haven't had that in forever. Could be something I ate though too.

 

Do you have GI issues where you have to run to the bathroom? Does food appeal to you? Right now, I eat a banana in the morning, but before lunch I drink 32 ounces of water, so lunch doesn't sound good. I think I need to slow down on water between breakfast and lunch, maybe I would be hungry.

 

I have to run to the bathroom urgently yes! Particularly first thing.

 

No food appeals to me but I make myself eat. It’s uncomfortable with the aka as my head can’t fix on one thing I’m doing so eating is not enjoyable just uncomfortable.

 

I get the aka in my knees too and have to rub them together repeatedly.

 

It doesn’t sound like you eat enough dear Frogie! 

21 hours ago, Frogie said:

I dont go anywhere either. Like I told you I live in a really small town, and have to drive 16 miles one way to go to the dr or therapy. You can only go to the 3 stores so many times before you become really bored. Sad when you know where everything is and the cost of everything in the stores lol...

 

Hang in there it will get better. I'm just having a bad day. But I don't have them too often. They will get less for you as you hold on your meds.

 

So, today, I'm feeling just like you. Flat, depressed and akasthisia. I hope we both feel better.  

 

Sorry, I probably bored you...

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

You don’t bore me Frogie! 

 

I look foward to having a better day sometime. 

 

It sounds like you’re doing ok to get Christmas gifts and wrapping them etc. I’m too much of a mess to even write a card, just fills me with irrational terror and despair!

 

Im trying to focus on my heart rather than my damaged brain here and there to sense some ‘real me’. 

 

Big hugs, Nikki 

[Frogie]

1 minute ago, Nikki74 said:

 

I have to run to the bathroom urgently yes! Particularly first thing.

 

No food appeals to me but I make myself eat. It’s uncomfortable with the aka as my head can’t fix on one thing I’m doing so eating is not enjoyable just uncomfortable.

 

I get the aka in my knees too and have to rub them together repeatedly.

 

It doesn’t sound like you eat enough dear Frogie! 

You don’t bore me Frogie! 

 

I look foward to having a better day sometime. 

 

It sounds like you’re doing ok to get Christmas gifts and wrapping them etc. I’m too much of a mess to even write a card, just fills me with irrational terror and despair!

 

Im trying to focus on my heart rather than my damaged brain here and there to sense some ‘real me’. 

 

Big hugs, Nikki 

Hi Nikki:

 

Thanks for talking to me.

 

I just feel flat again today. No emotions. Except the anxiety first thing in the morning, but after my 2nd Xanax I'm fine like I said. And the akasthisia in my knees. I'm like you I have to rub them or I want to dig them off my body. That's new to me.

 

 I'm eating. I could afford to lose a few pounds. I think I'm drinking too much water between breakfast and lunch and it's filling me up. I'm going slower today and going to force myself to eat lunch, even if it's a peanut butter sandwich. Dinner I eat fine. I'm hungry at dinner.

 

And isn't the bathroom just a joy? Lol... That started this summer with me. I hope it slows down soon. But at least it's only 10 feet from the bed lol... Until my fiancé decides to remodel that bathroom. We live in a mobile home so I will be running to the other side.

 

I got the presents wrapped, but no cards. If someone sends me one, I guess I'll have to send them one back. Otherwise I'm not doing any.

 

We did get about an inch of snow, but sunny blue skies now so it won't stick around. The forecast for the next 10 days is back in the 50's-60's, so no more snow.

 

I don't think the remodeling is ever going to get done. My fiancé came home last night and did nothing. Ate dinner and was in bed at 8:30. I know he's tired, but he chose to do this and it needs to get done. But I don't say a word, don't need anymore friction going on.

 

I hope you are doing well. And again, thanks for talking to me. Hopefully we can help each other.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Nikki74]

50 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Hi Nikki:

 

Thanks for talking to me.

 

I just feel flat again today. No emotions. Except the anxiety first thing in the morning, but after my 2nd Xanax I'm fine like I said. And the akasthisia in my knees. I'm like you I have to rub them or I want to dig them off my body. That's new to me.

 

I know it’s a terrible feeling. It moves around my body and sometimes it’s all over and I just move my limbs and twist my back, neck or torso to relieve it.  But it’s always in my head and it’s exhausting as I can’t stop on one thing and feel any satisfaction or comfort. I can’t follow stuff being said or on tv. I often end up pulling at my forehead because I want it to stop. Impossible to describe to anyone.

 

Mine’s been with me since late June but I’m thinking I’ve experienced it before though not long term so I don’t know if it’ll go. I pray about it all the time! 

 

 

50 minutes ago, Frogie said:

 I'm eating. I could afford to lose a few pounds. I think I'm drinking too much water between breakfast and lunch and it's filling me up. I'm going slower today and going to force myself to eat lunch, even if it's a peanut butter sandwich. Dinner I eat fine. I'm hungry at dinner.

 

Well that’s  good you eat dinner fine. I often just eat a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. Sugar free. At least it’s something!

50 minutes ago, Frogie said:

And isn't the bathroom just a joy? Lol... That started this summer with me. I hope it slows down soon. But at least it's only 10 feet from the bed lol... Until my fiancé decides to remodel that bathroom. We live in a mobile home so I will be running to the other side.

The remodel sounds like it’s causing you a lot of stress, which I understand! I couldn’t cope with anything like that going on.

 

 

 

50 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I got the presents wrapped, but no cards. If someone sends me one, I guess I'll have to send them one back. Otherwise I'm not doing any.

 

We did get about an inch of snow, but sunny blue skies now so it won't stick around. The forecast for the next 10 days is back in the 50's-60's, so no more snow.

 

Hope you get more snow 🙂

 

It’s good you can appreciate something lovely like that. 

 

50 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I don't think the remodeling is ever going to get done. My fiancé came home last night and did nothing. Ate dinner and was in bed at 8:30. I know he's tired, but he chose to do this and it needs to get done. But I don't say a word, don't need anymore friction going on.

 

Sensible not to say anything but it must get you down!

50 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I hope you are doing well. And again, thanks for talking to me. Hopefully we can help each other.

 

I’m not doing well but I’m surviving. 

 

It’s good to be in touch. I’m sorry if I don’t have anything positive to say as I’m just coping with many symptoms, mental and physical and just wish for a little relief someday.

50 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Take care,

Frogie xx

You take care too xxx

[Frogie]

43 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

 

I know it’s a terrible feeling. It moves around my body and sometimes it’s all over and I just move my limbs and twist my back, neck or torso to relieve it.  But it’s always in my head and it’s exhausting as I can’t stop on one thing and feel any satisfaction or comfort. I can’t follow stuff being said or on tv. I often end up pulling at my forehead because I want it to stop. Impossible to describe to anyone.

 

Mine’s been with me since late June but I’m thinking I’ve experienced it before though not long term so I don’t know if it’ll go. I pray about it all the time! 

 

 

 

Well that’s  good you eat dinner fine. I often just eat a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. Sugar free. At least it’s something!

The remodel sounds like it’s causing you a lot of stress, which I understand! I couldn’t cope with anything like that going on.

 

 

 

 

Hope you get more snow 🙂

 

It’s good you can appreciate something lovely like that. 

 

 

Sensible not to say anything but it must get you down!

 

I’m not doing well but I’m surviving. 

 

It’s good to be in touch. I’m sorry if I don’t have anything positive to say as I’m just coping with many symptoms, mental and physical and just wish for a little relief someday.

You take care too xxx

Hi Nikki:

 

I have never felt so flat in my life. I don't want to do anything, but am forcing myself to do a few things. Now I'm done for the day, and I'm sitting in my chair with my Brownie (my chihuahua) watching tv. I don't watch anything I have to concentrate on. I watch game shows or the shopping channel.

 

I will pray for both of us that the akasthisia goes away. It's is horrible. I can't stand my knees! I want to rip them apart.

 

It's just not winter without snow. This is the 1st snow we've had. I want more, but doesn't look too promising  And this will be gone by tomorrow. Do you get snow?

 

I think a lot of my problems is this remodeling. I never thought he would just sit around when there is stuff to do. It doesn't seem to bother him at all. It's not his real granddaughter, but he treats her like his. I would think he would want things done so she can come visit, he knows how much she means to me. And to just get it done. It's driving me crazy!

 

I'm glad you are at least surviving. I hope it turns around soon for you and you get some relief. Just be patient. It will take a while for you to stabilize. I hope I get some too soon.

 

Thanks again for talking to me.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Nikki74]

2 hours ago, Frogie said:

Hi Nikki:

 

I have never felt so flat in my life. I don't want to do anything, but am forcing myself to do a few things. Now I'm done for the day, and I'm sitting in my chair with my Brownie (my chihuahua) watching tv. I don't watch anything I have to concentrate on. I watch game shows or the shopping channel.

 

I will pray for both of us that the akasthisia goes away. It's is horrible. I can't stand my knees! I want to rip them apart.

 

It's just not winter without snow. This is the 1st snow we've had. I want more, but doesn't look too promising  And this will be gone by tomorrow. Do you get snow?

 

I think a lot of my problems is this remodeling. I never thought he would just sit around when there is stuff to do. It doesn't seem to bother him at all. It's not his real granddaughter, but he treats her like his. I would think he would want things done so she can come visit, he knows how much she means to me. And to just get it done. It's driving me crazy!

 

I'm glad you are at least surviving. I hope it turns around soon for you and you get some relief. Just be patient. It will take a while for you to stabilize. I hope I get some too soon.

 

Thanks again for talking to me.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Thank you dear Frogie. Yes let’s pray together, I’ll pray for you too, for this akathisia to go. 

 

So sorry you are feeling flat. Gosh I know. Big hugs to you. I’ve got my Rosie next to me, my little dog. I barely acknowledge her these days poor thing. But still she cuddles into me. Like your Brownie.

 

It’s good to chat Frogie xxx

[Frogie]

30 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

Thank you dear Frogie. Yes let’s pray together, I’ll pray for you too, for this akathisia to go. 

 

So sorry you are feeling flat. Gosh I know. Big hugs to you. I’ve got my Rosie next to me, my little dog. I barely acknowledge her these days poor thing. But still she cuddles into me. Like your Brownie.

 

It’s good to chat Frogie xxx

Thank you Nikki:

 

We will pray for each other to get better.

 

I don't know what I would do without my Brownie. But she is 16 and was sick with high liver enzymes not long ago. Now she eats a lot of veggies. She likes them. 

 

I've never had this flat feeling. When I taper I get nauseous for a couple of weeks, I think feeling flat is better than being nauseous.

 

I just have to force myself to do little things.

 

It's good to chat with you too.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Nikki74]

Just posting as I need an outlet.

 

Feel like I’m in free fall with my mental symptoms. Feel I’m losing the plot. Looping head, terror and fear at the most familiar things. Mental akathisia full on. Just sitting here under a blanket with my heat pad on my back to try to get some sense of safety or grounding. My son leaves in a week. It’s triggering so much. Shaking. Spent half the day with my Mum but even holding her hand brought no comfort. But it was better than being alone. My head just won’t let up. Tried a word game app, really simple, to engage my brain but it became another looping thing. 

 

Ive read the post about what’s happening to your brain in wd and it makes total sense. But the knowledge only helps for short moments. 

 

Just sharing. 

 

I feel like I’ve got no calming mechanisms. 

[bhasski]

52 minutes ago, Nikki74 said:

Spent half the day with my Mum but even holding her hand brought no comfort. But it was better than being alone.

 

I just feel same with my mom. I used to feel the my mom's care very soothing when I was under stress or sth .. that was unknown  to me... but now , even known .. i cannot feel the same.

These evil drug mind  games... 

[Nikki74]

52 minutes ago, bhasski said:

 

I just feel same with my mom. I used to feel the my mom's care very soothing when I was under stress or sth .. that was unknown  to me... but now , even known .. i cannot feel the same.

These evil drug mind  games... 

I’m sorry Bhasski, it is very cruel what these drugs do to us. Wishing you healing.

[UnfoldingSky]

On 07/12/2017 at 3:26 AM, Nikki74 said:

Thank you for writing, US.

 

I hope it gets better, I feel so much worse particularly with the mental symptoms. Last night I thought I was going to completely lose touch. My son going away is really triggering some bizarre, dark and challenging thoughts. I keep getting images of me just losing my mind when he goes and having to be put in hospital! It’s like I have no buffers for emotional stuff and I fear it’ll tip me over. Baylissa says it’s not possible to lose your mind in this. I hope it’s just wd brain telling me this stuff. My family will call to see me but I find company so hard as I just get more agitated (this has got so much worse these past few weeks) and like I want to hide.

 

Baylissa started her helpline in October but then she was in hospital for a procedure and is back now. 

 

I woke up terrified today of taking diazepam having been alcoholic and worrying it’s just all too much damage for my GABA receptors. But what can I do now?

 

I hope you’re doing ok US X

 

Hi Nikki,

 

I had the same issue with feeling like I had no buffer too. I don't think you will lose your mind though.  Consider that you have done an outstanding job weathering the akathisia so far, and I think you are not giving yourself enough credit, you are clearly made of sterner stuff than you realize.  Also always remember--thoughts are temporary.  No matter how bizarre, upsetting, outlandish, etc, they all eventually change.  Even the looping thoughts eventually go. 

 

How long will your son be away?

 

I understand about company too, I had an issue with concentration being so hard the more people were around, yet I often didn't really want to be alone (unless someone was hard to get along with.)  This will improve over time.

 

Good to know Baylissa is back too, I hope her procedure went okay.  She's done so much for so many. 

 

Thank you for your concern too, I have been feeling a bit under the weather lately, but nothing major.  I do hope you get a window for the holidays.xx

 

Warm wishes,

 

US

[Nikki74]

2 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Hi Nikki,

 

I had the same issue with feeling like I had no buffer too. I don't think you will lose your mind though.  Consider that you have done an outstanding job weathering the akathisia so far, and I think you are not giving yourself enough credit, you are clearly made of sterner stuff than you realize.  Also always remember--thoughts are temporary.  No matter how bizarre, upsetting, outlandish, etc, they all eventually change.  Even the looping thoughts eventually go. 

 

How long will your son be away?

 

I understand about company too, I had an issue with concentration being so hard the more people were around, yet I often didn't really want to be alone (unless someone was hard to get along with.)  This will improve over time.

 

Good to know Baylissa is back too, I hope her procedure went okay.  She's done so much for so many. 

 

Thank you for your concern too, I have been feeling a bit under the weather lately, but nothing major.  I do hope you get a window for the holidays.xx

 

Warm wishes,

 

US

Thank you US.

 

I’m sorry you’ve been under the weather. I hope you feel better soon.

 

My son will be away for 12 days. It’s all very triggering because of where he’s going (where we used to love abroad) and to see my ex and his new wife. I feel so angry this is happening to me as I should be enjoying this time. 

 

Unfortinately Baylissa has announced she’s closed her helpline and can only do emails from now on. It’s a blow to us all.

 

I feel so much that I can’t go on. But I can’t not either.

 

Thank you for sharing identification with my symptoms.

 

Will any of this really get better in time? I don’t know what’s wd and what’s the drugs I’m on.

 

The mental akathisia is so strong. My head feels claustrophobic and keeps wanting to be some place else. But I’m physically stuck where I am and if so do go somewhere like visit my Mum, I want to be somewhere else again like home.

 

Thank you for saying I’m strong. I do not feel it. 

 

X

Edited December 9, 2017 by Nikki74

[Nikki74]

Today. Rapid cycling of symptoms:

 

Fatigued, slept hours

Dp/dr

Numb and low physical agitation but no depression or fear

Hyper and motivated

High agitation 

Tearful, despair, depression 

Able to watch a tv show in the evening (with restless head)

Panic

Tearful, despair, fear, grief for my past

Numb

Restless

...

 

Crazy stuff! 

 

[Nikki74]

I know it’s going to take time, but I just want a little of my life back. Completely housebound and mostly bed or sofa bound. 

 

I feel drunk and dozy all day with extreme muscle fatigue. Memory and cognitive skills limited. Paranoia and terror today plus the usual.

Edited December 10, 2017 by Nikki74

[UnfoldingSky]

On 09/12/2017 at 6:09 AM, Nikki74 said:

Thank you US.

 

I’m sorry you’ve been under the weather. I hope you feel better soon.

 

My son will be away for 12 days. It’s all very triggering because of where he’s going (where we used to love abroad) and to see my ex and his new wife. I feel so angry this is happening to me as I should be enjoying this time. 

 

Unfortinately Baylissa has announced she’s closed her helpline and can only do emails from now on. It’s a blow to us all.

 

I feel so much that I can’t go on. But I can’t not either.

 

Thank you for sharing identification with my symptoms.

 

Will any of this really get better in time? I don’t know what’s wd and what’s the drugs I’m on.

 

The mental akathisia is so strong. My head feels claustrophobic and keeps wanting to be some place else. But I’m physically stuck where I am and if so do go somewhere like visit my Mum, I want to be somewhere else again like home.

 

Thank you for saying I’m strong. I do not feel it. 

 

X

 

Hi Nikki,

 

It really can get better.  Consider, I was on benzos for three years and they caused me some issues the whole way along, and I've managed to recover quite a lot.  I know what you mean about wanting to be "somewhere else" I was the exact same way only your mind won't tell you where "somewhere else" is that is a good place to be.  Akathisia is awful for doing that.  I used to feel like I wanted to run out of places but had nowhere to run to that seemed comfortable. 

 

Also I see what you mean about it being upsetting your son being away with your ex and his new wife, while you are left to deal with this psychiatric drug mess.  It's so unfair!!

 

Sorry to hear that Baylissa had to close the helpline, it's always so distressing when some avenue of help is closed for people like us.  I hope she's okay.

 

And you are strong, don't ever forget it, many people will never face anything this challenging in their entire lives.  

 

Thank you for the well wishes too, hope your night goes well tonight!

 

USxx

[Nikki74]

11 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Hi Nikki,

 

It really can get better.  Consider, I was on benzos for three years and they caused me some issues the whole way along, and I've managed to recover quite a lot.  I know what you mean about wanting to be "somewhere else" I was the exact same way only your mind won't tell you where "somewhere else" is that is a good place to be.  Akathisia is awful for doing that.  I used to feel like I wanted to run out of places but had nowhere to run to that seemed comfortable. 

 

Also I see what you mean about it being upsetting your son being away with your ex and his new wife, while you are left to deal with this psychiatric drug mess.  It's so unfair!!

 

Sorry to hear that Baylissa had to close the helpline, it's always so distressing when some avenue of help is closed for people like us.  I hope she's okay.

 

And you are strong, don't ever forget it, many people will never face anything this challenging in their entire lives.  

 

Thank you for the well wishes too, hope your night goes well tonight!

 

USxx

Thank you for writing US.

 

Im finding it hard to know what’s wd and what’s just me as I’ve had depression, anxiety and ocd (and a moments of feeling a bit paranoid) without meds and while on them. 

 

I feel retramatised every day. 

 

I also am feeling so fatigued and dozy I don’t know if it’s the drugs I’m still on or wd.

 

Nikki

[Nikki74]

I’ve posted on the benzo forum too but wanted to share and maybe get feedback here:

 

Q. Am I having an extreme reaction to Diazepam?

 

I’m finding I’m mostly dozy and drunk feeling when I take my Diazepam doses. Symptoms:

 

Dozy

Sleepy

Drunk

Staggering

Vertigo

Clumsy

Severe limb weakness

Severe cognitive impairment 

Feel like I’m going to faint sometimes 

 

It’s extremely unpleasant and I feel like a zombie. 

[UnfoldingSky]

On 11/12/2017 at 5:37 AM, Nikki74 said:

Thank you for writing US.

 

Im finding it hard to know what’s wd and what’s just me as I’ve had depression, anxiety and ocd (and a moments of feeling a bit paranoid) without meds and while on them. 

 

I feel retramatised every day. 

 

I also am feeling so fatigued and dozy I don’t know if it’s the drugs I’m still on or wd.

 

Nikki

 

Hi Nikki,

 

How are you doing today?

 

I couldn't say for sure about the dozy feeling but I kind of suspect that will be from Valium.  I know it made me feel like that at a higher dosage. 

 

Also I had terribly obsessive thoughts from the reactions/withdrawal I had, nothing like I was before, many people report a kind of "pure O" OCD from pills.  No compulsions. I don't know if that helps any?

 

US

[Nikki74]

5 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Hi Nikki,

 

How are you doing today?

 

I couldn't say for sure about the dozy feeling but I kind of suspect that will be from Valium.  I know it made me feel like that at a higher dosage. 

 

Also I had terribly obsessive thoughts from the reactions/withdrawal I had, nothing like I was before, many people report a kind of "pure O" OCD from pills.  No compulsions. I don't know if that helps any?

 

US

Hi US

 

 Very down today. Just so upset I didn’t know to taper those drugs and was left to just stop them by my GP. I relive it like a trauma. Feel it’s not only ruined my life the last few months but in the future too and denied me the choice to do things carefully. 

 

Yes i I get the Pure O stuff, I have in the past on meds but also when not on them. 

 

Migraine today too.

 

Low agitation but restless nonetheless.

 

Thank you for writing as always. I hope you’re doing ok X 

[powerback]

Hi nikki ,I'm having a very reflective morning myself and I'm giving myself a racing heart [deep breathes I just did ].

I totally   relate about the doctor/tapering .on he's advice led me to a serious crash a year ago .we got to keep trying to heal ourselves  and stop blaming ourselves .we took advice from trusted people in the community and they get to hide behind their righteous "profession ". 

 

I'm finding comfort in learning about my body and how it works so I never have to go near a doctor again ,I haven't been near one in 7 months .I used to get the flu jab because I was told I needd it ,never again will I listen to them .its nearly Christmas and I've hardly had a cold ,ive learned what I need to do to keep my strength up and fight colds/flu .I have practiced other ways besides the obsession of going to the doctor .

 

sorry about you migraine,give your temples a good massage   ,I think we can inadvertently give ourselves these from our brain working over drive .

Take care .

PB 

[Nikki74]

38 minutes ago, powerback said:

Hi nikki ,I'm having a very reflective morning myself and I'm giving myself a racing heart [deep breathes I just did ].

I totally   relate about the doctor/tapering .on he's advice led me to a serious crash a year ago .we got to keep trying to heal ourselves  and stop blaming ourselves .we took advice from trusted people in the community and they get to hide behind their righteous "profession ". 

 

I'm finding comfort in learning about my body and how it works so I never have to go near a doctor again ,I haven't been near one in 7 months .I used to get the flu jab because I was told I needd it ,never again will I listen to them .its nearly Christmas and I've hardly had a cold ,ive learned what I need to do to keep my strength up and fight colds/flu .I have practiced other ways besides the obsession of going to the doctor .

 

sorry about you migraine,give your temples a good massage   ,I think we can inadvertently give ourselves these from our brain working over drive .

Take care .

PB 

Thank you for writing PB.

 

im not on my laptop so can’t see your signature. What were you tapered from and what are you on now? Have you seen any improvement? 

 

Trying a cold flannel on my head and massage like you say.

 

Your words are very compassionate X

[powerback]

2 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Thank you for writing PB.

 

im not on my laptop so can’t see your signature. What were you tapered from and what are you on now? Have you seen any improvement? 

 

Trying a cold flannel on my head and massage like you say.

 

Your words are very compassionate X

I truly mean it nikki ,I can relate so much to the pain .I'm on 37.5 mg venlafaxine ,I started a slow taper a few months ago but I'm stuck on bead 6 out ,when I went to bead 7 out all hell broke loose ,so its an ongoing change of the gaol posts .ile probably have to move from were I live to finish my taper .its a nightmare .at the moment I'm dealing with the grief of a life not lived and especially the years drugged .the one thing I have control over is my strict diet and this is something I suppose .

Take great care .

PB

[UnfoldingSky]

17 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

Hi US

 

 Very down today. Just so upset I didn’t know to taper those drugs and was left to just stop them by my GP. I relive it like a trauma. Feel it’s not only ruined my life the last few months but in the future too and denied me the choice to do things carefully. 

 

Yes i I get the Pure O stuff, I have in the past on meds but also when not on them. 

 

Migraine today too.

 

Low agitation but restless nonetheless.

 

Thank you for writing as always. I hope you’re doing ok X 

 

Hi Nikki,

 

I feel for you and PB, I know I was bitter about the lost years, the pills took some of the best years of my life.  Now am trying to make up for lost time.

 

I'm sorry you have the pure "O" stuff too.  And the migraine, been getting bad headaches too lately, the sort where you are only good to lie in the dark waiting it out.  Hope it cleared fast.

 

I'm okay, my injury's been acting up again a bit though. Thank you for asking.  It's gotten cold here, finally, we have snow too, and I can think more clearly the colder it gets, started with the pills, never sure why.  This year though the cold is really getting to me, like it goes right through me.   But I'm happy to think a little more, need all the boosts I can get. We've been trying to get out to hand out food and goods to people on the streets, I can't imagine how they manage when I can only handle a few minutes out there dressed well for the weather.

 

How is it where you are? 

 

Thinking of you,

 

US

 

 

 

[Nikki74]

5 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

 

Hi Nikki,

 

I feel for you and PB, I know I was bitter about the lost years, the pills took some of the best years of my life.  Now am trying to make up for lost time.

 

I'm sorry you have the pure "O" stuff too.  And the migraine, been getting bad headaches too lately, the sort where you are only good to lie in the dark waiting it out.  Hope it cleared fast.

 

I'm okay, my injury's been acting up again a bit though. Thank you for asking.  It's gotten cold here, finally, we have snow too, and I can think more clearly the colder it gets, started with the pills, never sure why.  This year though the cold is really getting to me, like it goes right through me.   But I'm happy to think a little more, need all the boosts I can get. We've been trying to get out to hand out food and goods to people on the streets, I can't imagine how they manage when I can only handle a few minutes out there dressed well for the weather.

 

How is it where you are? 

 

Thinking of you,

 

US

 

 

 

That’s so kind of you to go out and give out food, US.

 

It’s cold here, was very stormy last night.

 

Im sorry to hear you’re getting headaches and that your injury is playing up. I hope both settle soon.

 

I’ve never asked but how long since you were off the benzo taper?

 

I just don’t know what to do. I’m just waiting and holding. All I can do. It’s no life at all. 

 

The migraine has now passed. A minor symptom though. 

 

Nikki X

[UnfoldingSky]

18 hours ago, Nikki74 said:

That’s so kind of you to go out and give out food, US.

 

It’s cold here, was very stormy last night.

 

Im sorry to hear you’re getting headaches and that your injury is playing up. I hope both settle soon.

 

I’ve never asked but how long since you were off the benzo taper?

 

I just don’t know what to do. I’m just waiting and holding. All I can do. It’s no life at all. 

 

The migraine has now passed. A minor symptom though. 

 

Nikki X

 

Oh dear, I know it's no life going through this.  I wish there was something that provided some respite at least as you work towards recovery. 

 

I've been off benzos...since 2010, and totally drug free since Jan. 2011.  (I had to taper Propranolol after the benzos.)

 

Injury wasn't too bad today, feeling run down though.

 

Good to hear the migraine passed, I hope the harder issues clear too soon. You so don't deserve to be suffering.

 

Let me know how you are keeping,

 

USxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Nikki74]

Severe depression and akathisia. 

[AliG]

Nikki. This too shall pass. I know your son is leaving soon and that will be surely having an impact ~ I understand. Stress, like that can exacerbate symptoms and possibly cause a wave.

 

What are the symptoms of your akathisia? How does it impact or affect you?  What do you do about it, if anything? How are you currently handling your anxiety? What pro-active steps are you taking to deal with this?