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Nikki74

Nikki74: Lexapro mirtazipine diazepam akathisia

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UnfoldingSky   
UnfoldingSky

I feel for you, I hope it has abated since you posted.

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Nikki74   
Nikki74
44 minutes ago, UnfoldingSky said:

I feel for you, I hope it has abated since you posted.

Thank you US.

 

it calmed down a bit later in the day but still had the restless mind. Have woken with it in my legs, restless legs or aka I don't know. Feel it in my knees and moving my feet a lot in bed. 

 

So exhausted.

 

i know no one can help.

 

just scared. 

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Nikki74   
Nikki74

Feels like I'm in another big wave really. The aka, frequent urination, diarrhoea. I had a few days where I just felt fatigued and much calmer in the mornings but I'm back to where I was before that with the aka and bodily functions gone haywire.  Tummy constantly gurgling even though I've eaten. 

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Nikki74   
Nikki74

So things started to calm a bit around midday. I'm now mostly peaceful but still have that can't focus on anything for long feeling in my head and underlying restlessness. 

 

Im so lacking in motivation to do anything. Can't work out if it's fatigue or the akathisia that stops me thinking clearly and being 'present'.

 

It almost brings up a feeling of dread when I go to do anything in the home, e.g. Paying bills online, putting shopping away, making a sandwich. All fills me with a feeling of 'what's the point', which I've had for weeks now. Like everything is painful to do.

 

i just chuck on clothes each day and that feels painful (emotionally) and pointless too.

 

im not able to go out. Really daunted by people and the outside world. Am I becoming a hermit?

 

I watch stuff on tv and it all makes me sad like 'oh there's someone enjoying nature/ travel/ cooking and I don't or can't do it enjoy that these days and I can't see I ever will again as I'm not even stable yet and even if I do stabilise I'm stuck on meds with a sensitised nervous system and have years of tapering and symptoms ahead...' That kind of stuff!

 

my hair is getting so long and the grey is coming through. I'd love it coloured but scared of the chemicals.

 

same for basic stuff like skincare. I've stopped using anything apart from E45 and I see even that contains alcohol.

 

food, my diet has become so limited for fear of sugars, even fruit. I eat basic, plain stuff, always protein and greens in the evening.

 

Am I being too cautious?

 

The akathisia scares me more than anything. Like I say, I don't feel it right now apart from an inability to focus (is that aka?) but there is a tension and inner discomfort in my tummy (nervousness, dread). 

 

I HOPE things don't get worse before they improve. I feel like I've had less of the 24/7 aka and multiple symptoms for the last couple of weeks. With some days just as bad as ever but others with more fatigue and stillness but horrific dark depression.

 

 

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Nikki74   
Nikki74

I'd be interested to know from anyone what might have caused the akathisia for me?

 

The virtual ct from Pregabalin early June? 

The rapid taper/ virtual ct from escitalopram late June?

i know it was a week after stopping the 15mg (I'd 'tapered' 15mg every other night for three weeks then stopped) that I woke with what I now think was akathisia but thought was severe anxiety and was told to double the Mirtazipine to get better. Which I never did. Only worse. And the rest is history.

 

I'd love to hear from anybody who was truly unstable like I have been for months due to so many changes, and stabilised then was able to taper slowly, successfully.

 

I'd love to hear from anyone who had akathisia but it went and didn't return during tapering of ADs and a benzo.

 

 

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wantrelief   
wantrelief

Hi Nikki,

 

I too am waiting to stabilize so that I can start tapering (again) and am feeling many of the same symptoms in terms of motivation.  It is like a part of my brain is completely shut down in terms of knowing what to do with myself, what I would like to do.  I don't have akathisia so this might be coming from somewhere else, but I don't know where.  I think you are describing apathy as well which I have had - like I know I need to "x" chore but don't do it.....it is like what you describe, everything is painful to do; I keep putting things off.  I can go out but haven't wanted to and really really have to push myself to go.  I too have become mostly a hermit and even though it bothers me it just feels like that is what my body is wanting right now; I just don't know if I should give into it or push myself more.  I have trouble concentrating on much.  I know what you mean about TV -  I can't concentrate on it much but when I do watch it, it makes me sad too because everyone is "normal" and enjoying themselves; same with people in the "real world".  Although sometimes when I am out, I do wonder if someone is going through withdrawal as no one would know if they saw me so maybe they are to.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I am having some of the same problems.  I am so sorry for everything you've been through and am glad you have started to feel some calmer moments.

 

So things started to calm a bit around midday. I'm now mostly peaceful but still have that can't focus on anything for long feeling in my head and underlying restlessness. 

 

Hoping you get some more peace as time goes on.

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wantrelief   
wantrelief

Sorry - I just realized I had cut and pasted your post and left a line of your original post in there; I guess my brain isn't working too well!  :/

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