UnfoldingSky Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 I feel for you, I hope it has abated since you posted. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 44 minutes ago, UnfoldingSky said: I feel for you, I hope it has abated since you posted. Thank you US. it calmed down a bit later in the day but still had the restless mind. Have woken with it in my legs, restless legs or aka I don't know. Feel it in my knees and moving my feet a lot in bed. So exhausted. i know no one can help. just scared. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 Feels like I'm in another big wave really. The aka, frequent urination, diarrhoea. I had a few days where I just felt fatigued and much calmer in the mornings but I'm back to where I was before that with the aka and bodily functions gone haywire. Tummy constantly gurgling even though I've eaten. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 So things started to calm a bit around midday. I'm now mostly peaceful but still have that can't focus on anything for long feeling in my head and underlying restlessness. Im so lacking in motivation to do anything. Can't work out if it's fatigue or the akathisia that stops me thinking clearly and being 'present'. It almost brings up a feeling of dread when I go to do anything in the home, e.g. Paying bills online, putting shopping away, making a sandwich. All fills me with a feeling of 'what's the point', which I've had for weeks now. Like everything is painful to do. i just chuck on clothes each day and that feels painful (emotionally) and pointless too. im not able to go out. Really daunted by people and the outside world. Am I becoming a hermit? I watch stuff on tv and it all makes me sad like 'oh there's someone enjoying nature/ travel/ cooking and I don't or can't do it enjoy that these days and I can't see I ever will again as I'm not even stable yet and even if I do stabilise I'm stuck on meds with a sensitised nervous system and have years of tapering and symptoms ahead...' That kind of stuff! my hair is getting so long and the grey is coming through. I'd love it coloured but scared of the chemicals. same for basic stuff like skincare. I've stopped using anything apart from E45 and I see even that contains alcohol. food, my diet has become so limited for fear of sugars, even fruit. I eat basic, plain stuff, always protein and greens in the evening. Am I being too cautious? The akathisia scares me more than anything. Like I say, I don't feel it right now apart from an inability to focus (is that aka?) but there is a tension and inner discomfort in my tummy (nervousness, dread). I HOPE things don't get worse before they improve. I feel like I've had less of the 24/7 aka and multiple symptoms for the last couple of weeks. With some days just as bad as ever but others with more fatigue and stillness but horrific dark depression. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 21, 2017 Author Share Posted October 21, 2017 I'd be interested to know from anyone what might have caused the akathisia for me? The virtual ct from Pregabalin early June? The rapid taper/ virtual ct from escitalopram late June? i know it was a week after stopping the 15mg (I'd 'tapered' 15mg every other night for three weeks then stopped) that I woke with what I now think was akathisia but thought was severe anxiety and was told to double the Mirtazipine to get better. Which I never did. Only worse. And the rest is history. I'd love to hear from anybody who was truly unstable like I have been for months due to so many changes, and stabilised then was able to taper slowly, successfully. I'd love to hear from anyone who had akathisia but it went and didn't return during tapering of ADs and a benzo. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
wantrelief Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Hi Nikki, I too am waiting to stabilize so that I can start tapering (again) and am feeling many of the same symptoms in terms of motivation. It is like a part of my brain is completely shut down in terms of knowing what to do with myself, what I would like to do. I don't have akathisia so this might be coming from somewhere else, but I don't know where. I think you are describing apathy as well which I have had - like I know I need to "x" chore but don't do it.....it is like what you describe, everything is painful to do; I keep putting things off. I can go out but haven't wanted to and really really have to push myself to go. I too have become mostly a hermit and even though it bothers me it just feels like that is what my body is wanting right now; I just don't know if I should give into it or push myself more. I have trouble concentrating on much. I know what you mean about TV - I can't concentrate on it much but when I do watch it, it makes me sad too because everyone is "normal" and enjoying themselves; same with people in the "real world". Although sometimes when I am out, I do wonder if someone is going through withdrawal as no one would know if they saw me so maybe they are to. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I am having some of the same problems. I am so sorry for everything you've been through and am glad you have started to feel some calmer moments. So things started to calm a bit around midday. I'm now mostly peaceful but still have that can't focus on anything for long feeling in my head and underlying restlessness. Hoping you get some more peace as time goes on. -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
wantrelief Posted October 21, 2017 Share Posted October 21, 2017 Sorry - I just realized I had cut and pasted your post and left a line of your original post in there; I guess my brain isn't working too well! :/ -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 22, 2017 Share Posted October 22, 2017 18 hours ago, Nikki74 said: So things started to calm a bit around midday. I'm now mostly peaceful but still have that can't focus on anything for long feeling in my head and underlying restlessness. Im so lacking in motivation to do anything. Can't work out if it's fatigue or the akathisia that stops me thinking clearly and being 'present'. It almost brings up a feeling of dread when I go to do anything in the home, e.g. Paying bills online, putting shopping away, making a sandwich. All fills me with a feeling of 'what's the point', which I've had for weeks now. Like everything is painful to do. i just chuck on clothes each day and that feels painful (emotionally) and pointless too. im not able to go out. Really daunted by people and the outside world. Am I becoming a hermit? I watch stuff on tv and it all makes me sad like 'oh there's someone enjoying nature/ travel/ cooking and I don't or can't do it enjoy that these days and I can't see I ever will again as I'm not even stable yet and even if I do stabilise I'm stuck on meds with a sensitised nervous system and have years of tapering and symptoms ahead...' That kind of stuff! my hair is getting so long and the grey is coming through. I'd love it coloured but scared of the chemicals. same for basic stuff like skincare. I've stopped using anything apart from E45 and I see even that contains alcohol. food, my diet has become so limited for fear of sugars, even fruit. I eat basic, plain stuff, always protein and greens in the evening. Am I being too cautious? The akathisia scares me more than anything. Like I say, I don't feel it right now apart from an inability to focus (is that aka?) but there is a tension and inner discomfort in my tummy (nervousness, dread). I HOPE things don't get worse before they improve. I feel like I've had less of the 24/7 aka and multiple symptoms for the last couple of weeks. With some days just as bad as ever but others with more fatigue and stillness but horrific dark depression. Hi Nikki, I have had a variety of experiences with concentration issues, some of them seemingly linked to akathisia, other times not. Like way back when I had a brief withdrawal from Effexor before reinstating and tapering, and during that time I was a bit of a mess, one minute crying next minute fine, couldn't make my mind up to do simple things, but I definitely didn't have akathisia, was not restless, no pacing, nothing like that at all. So it may well not have anything to do with akathisia for you, it's hard to say. It could just be the fatigue too. And I had the feeling of dread. For some reason I had a lot of dread about taking a shower. I could get caught in this indecision spiral around showering, maybe because it's a confined space and at the time I didn't like them? I never figured it out. And I'd feel so many things were useless to pursue too. I think it's understandable that right now you might not wish to go out a lot, too. Also I had a lot of feelings of nostalgia when around others or watching TV, etc, because I felt so disconnected too and like I'd never get my life back. Almost like you were viewing life from behind a thick pane of glass and couldn't participate. But it does get better, and it may get better a lot faster than you believe it will. About the chemicals I was worried about that too, but I don't think in the end they bothered me greatly (as in say causing chemical sensitivities). Initially early in withdrawal I kept colouring my hair with chemical dyes, but trouble was my hair texture changed so it just didn't look that great. So I moved to natural stuff. Had a similar issue with skin products, my skin texture changed too, and chemical products just seemed too drying or on the other end of the spectrum, too greasy. But they didn't seem to do any major damage, just they weren't working well for me anymore. It could be they'd be okay for you, everyone is different. I think I said this before but regarding fruit, I'd be careful not to avoid it too much. I'm glad you are getting pockets of relief from the akathisia though it would be even better without the depression! Wishing you lots of healing, US I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 15 hours ago, wantrelief said: Hi Nikki, I too am waiting to stabilize so that I can start tapering (again) and am feeling many of the same symptoms in terms of motivation. It is like a part of my brain is completely shut down in terms of knowing what to do with myself, what I would like to do. I don't have akathisia so this might be coming from somewhere else, but I don't know where. I think you are describing apathy as well which I have had - like I know I need to "x" chore but don't do it.....it is like what you describe, everything is painful to do; I keep putting things off. I can go out but haven't wanted to and really really have to push myself to go. I too have become mostly a hermit and even though it bothers me it just feels like that is what my body is wanting right now; I just don't know if I should give into it or push myself more. I have trouble concentrating on much. I know what you mean about TV - I can't concentrate on it much but when I do watch it, it makes me sad too because everyone is "normal" and enjoying themselves; same with people in the "real world". Although sometimes when I am out, I do wonder if someone is going through withdrawal as no one would know if they saw me so maybe they are to. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I am having some of the same problems. I am so sorry for everything you've been through and am glad you have started to feel some calmer moments. So things started to calm a bit around midday. I'm now mostly peaceful but still have that can't focus on anything for long feeling in my head and underlying restlessness. Hoping you get some more peace as time goes on. Hi WR Thank you so much for writing and sharing how you identify with my experiences. It it feels like being in basic survival mode and it's been this way for months since I became destabilised over and over with lots of med changes. Im sorry you're going through so much of the same stuff. It's the hardest thing feeling so distant from how you know you can be and feel. How long have you been destabalised? are you on ssri and benzo? ive had a tough day so far with what's felt like withdrawal symptom right up again - agitation, racing head stuck in a fear loop, feeling sort of manic inside, brain zaps/ burning up back of head, extreme anxiety. It's all I can do to sit with a blanket over me and try to breathe in a regular way. We will stabalise and not feel so overcome by the things we've shared. I'm thinking of you and sending healing prayers, I pray a lot! Keep in touch and thank you for reaching out. Nikki x 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 22, 2017 Author Share Posted October 22, 2017 (edited) I thought I'd post up a symptom diary. It's been the same for the past four days: 5am wake up restless, bathroom visit, water, able to sleep a little more with nature sounds. 7am wake up more restless. Bathroom visit. Cigarette. Feed dog. Eat something like a chicken sandwich as starving. Restless, agitated, anxious 7/10. Water. Pray. Cigarette. several bathroom visits. Urinating frequently and diarrhoea several times. Water. 8.15 take 5mg lexapro. More bathroom visits for both peeing and diarrhoea. Lie in bed a little drowsy. Pray. 9am take 2mg diazepam. Put on spiritual music, doze until 10/10.30 10.30am feel depressed, anxious and agitated. Get up. Bathroom. Cigarette. Water. Muesli. Cigarette. 10.30-12.30 highly agitated, anxiety 8/10, head at full speed, fear, feel manic inside, muscle twitching and jolts, shaky, brain zapping up back of head (burning), try breathing, tv on in background, sit with blanket over me on sofa, message with friend who's been here and can comfort me. Pray. Cigarette. Water. 12.30 things start to lighten up. 1pm 2mg diazepam. Feel calmer now. Symptoms minimal. 1.30pm almost feel 'normal' in context of things. Daunted by household tasks and basic stuff like making lunch for me and my son. But agitation/aka/ other symptoms minimal. 2pm eat chicken sandwich or soup and chicken roll. Water. Cigarette. Try to do one thing I have to do like pay a bill online, put rubbish out. read bible/ something soothing. Pray. Have tv on and can sometimes laugh at something (I keep tv light and normally Big Bang Theory and other comedies). Message with recovery friend. Cigarette. 5pm 2mg Diazepam minimal motivation to prepare dinner. Feeling drowsy and fatigued. Cigarette. 6pm make and eat dinner. Salmon, potatoes, brocolli or similar. Still hungry after. Cigarette. Evening watch tv, restless legs and arms, can feel agitation creeping up a bit. Don't enjoy anything much but able to sit with blanket and engage a little with son, tv and messaging. Read too many scary things online that pertain to my situation. Fear. Depression. Try not to 'spiral'. Getting metallic taste in mouth like when I was on Zopiclone, plus prickling tongue with some little blistering bits just like when I was on Zopiclone! Cigarette. Eat muesli or toast. 10.30pm get son to bed, get to bed , pray, feeling agitated, put on spiritual music. 11.30pm take 15mg Mirtazipine. Put on nature sounds. Feel drowsy by around 12.15, don't remember falling asleep. I realise I've been through so many changes since June but do hope I will stabilise at some point. It feels a long way off. I hope when I do, I can do a little more and feel a little more than the 'dark' side of things. i can't recall when I last felt good. I think it was the start of 2016 when just on 20mg escitalopram. Then it pooped out probably by the summer and all the adding in and changing about started. Though I had periods of doing ok when on the escitalopram and pregabalin. So I'm just wondering what my chances are of stabilising seeing as it's been so long. And now I've got diazepam in the mix too as a regular dose. Will I ever get off that in particular, if I take everything real slow as advised. Edited October 22, 2017 by Nikki74 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 23, 2017 Author Share Posted October 23, 2017 After a morning of fatigue in bed but little agitation, I had three hours 12-3pm of feeling almost normal. The most normal I've felt since June. swiftly followed by depression, intrusive thoughts, fear and migraine which is intensifying now at 22.40. Would love a bit of feedback I know folks are busy and also dealing with their own issues. When it's taper time, benzo first? I know it's normally AD first but Mirtazipine seems to help me sleep. Anxious about akathisia in all of this. Believing i will stabilise though. God bless and thank you for any input. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 24, 2017 Share Posted October 24, 2017 Hi Nikki, I answered your PM just now but wished to bump your thread up so hopefully you can get an answer about which pill to taper first. I hope you are doing well right now, will check in tomorrow (off to bed here soon!) Warm wishes, US I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 24, 2017 Author Share Posted October 24, 2017 8 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said: Hi Nikki, I answered your PM just now but wished to bump your thread up so hopefully you can get an answer about which pill to taper first. I hope you are doing well right now, will check in tomorrow (off to bed here soon!) Warm wishes, US Thank you US Symptimatic day today. Migraine still going. Anxiety and fear at large, some agitation. Getting by. Achieved chores and a bit of sewing (first time since August for the sewing!). Nikki x 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Hi Nikki, Good to hear you got some things done, hoping things are settled now and you are sleeping well. Thinking of you, US I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 25, 2017 Author Share Posted October 25, 2017 12 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said: Hi Nikki, Good to hear you got some things done, hoping things are settled now and you are sleeping well. Thinking of you, US Thank you US agitated morning with squirmy legs in bed, but mostly symptom free/ low symptom today. Managed to order clothes for my son online, something I've not been able to do til now since all this started, plus online food shop and financial stuff online. Teeth sensitivity gone today. migraine gone. fatigue not too bad. Dp/dr low. have yet to shower, been a few days. Nikki 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Hi Nikki, I'm glad your day was reasonably okay. Hopefully tomorrow is even better. Crossing my fingers for you... US I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 11 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said: Hi Nikki, I'm glad your day was reasonably okay. Hopefully tomorrow is even better. Crossing my fingers for you... US Thanks US. aside from fatigue, which I've lived with for years anyway, today has been largely symptom free. Little twitches here and there, teeny bit of agitation, cog fog but goes with the fatigue. I've laughed, smiled, conversed with my son more than normal. I am absolutely starving most the time but maybe that's the Mirtazipine. Wishing I wasn't taking diazepam, as I wish daily! But thankful for having more peace than before! Nikki 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Hi Nikki, I'm just thrilled to hear you've had such a good day. Hoping you have stabilized and it will be easier times coming up. Wonder if a mod will come by to answer your question re which pill to taper first? Also, I had the same issue with being hungry a lot too. Used to carry food with me wherever I went even if I was only going to be out a short while. I had forgotten about that! There was so little I could eat that the easiest "safe" food for me to take was a big bag of potato chips (crisps I think to you?) I was so famished the small size would never do...The bag was bigger than my purse and I looked ridiculous, wonder what people must have thought! Hoping there's another peaceful day ahead! US I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 2 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said: Hi Nikki, I'm just thrilled to hear you've had such a good day. Hoping you have stabilized and it will be easier times coming up. Wonder if a mod will come by to answer your question re which pill to taper first? Also, I had the same issue with being hungry a lot too. Used to carry food with me wherever I went even if I was only going to be out a short while. I had forgotten about that! There was so little I could eat that the easiest "safe" food for me to take was a big bag of potato chips (crisps I think to you?) I was so famished the small size would never do...The bag was bigger than my purse and I looked ridiculous, wonder what people must have thought! Hoping there's another peaceful day ahead! US Oh my gosh, I do that! I've got big bags of what are called Kettle Chips here, really plain, but salted, and I can't get enough of them! I was downstairs munching on them at midnight as couldn't sleep. Thank you for your encouragement. Unfortunately last thing last night I had some stressing messages from a friend with aka and my agitation revved up. Ended up feeling electricity in my right hand! Thankfully after chips and some roast chicken, my Mirtazipine kicked in and I slept. But I'm symptomatic with the aka type feelings this morning and have had restless/ squirmy legs and feeling the fear stuff again and churning tummy. Though none of it is as bad as it was just a few weeks ago. I get this feeling of anger though that my body is feeling like this and like I want to go rahhh! And burst out. Sounds irritate me like a neighbour's dog whining or my own dog padding around. So unlike me so I know it's the chemical stuff and how I'm feeling with the agitation. X 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 Better around midday. by my calculations, if I taper the benzo first, it could take four years. Not that im tapering yet!! 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 My tooth sensitivity is back. It had gone for a few days. Also quite anxious and nerves are on edge again. I just cancelled my psych appt next week as I don't want to be told I'm imagining all this and just need the Sertraline she wanted me to start. I'm feeling a bit despondent right now. I've been trying to self soothe. Just feeling so alone in this. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 28, 2017 Author Share Posted October 28, 2017 Today, depression, fatigue and sensitive teeth are only symptoms. Not nice but a familiar place. Depression is typical of what I've been experiencing but also compounded by my dog being ill last night and the news that my son is going abroad to see his dad for Christmas. Can any mods just check in on my updates please? Thanks, Nikki 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Hi Nikki. I'm so sorry that your question somehow got lost in the conversation but I would start to taper the Lexapro first as it can be very stimulating.The Mirtazapine helps you sleep which is important, so that would be the last to go. Is your signature up to date? I hope I have that right. You may want to increase the font on your signature. It's a little hard to read. If you have a specific question - if you could put Q . It will be easier to spot. It's easy to get overlooked when there is a lot of text. It's always advisable to taper the more stimulating drug first and keep the more sedating drug until later, as often when tapering, sleep can become an issue in which case you will really need that sedation. Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first? I'm so sorry that you're going through some life problems. They can be so hard, but worse in withdrawal. Please be extra gentle with yourself and treat yourself with lots of loving care. I had depression in a typical windows and waves fashion ; it eventually starts to recede, just like the tide. It really is all about the ocean - here. Life stressors exacerbate symptoms which can sometimes lead to a wave. Lots of self- care can help soften W/D symptoms and is something we all have to try to keep working on. I know that I have to keep striving for more as it is so easy to overlook at certain times. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 28, 2017 Author Share Posted October 28, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, AliG said: Hi Nikki. I'm so sorry that your question somehow got lost in the conversation but I would start to taper the Lexapro first as it can be very stimulating.The Mirtazapine helps you sleep which is important, so that would be the last to go. Is your signature up to date? I hope I have that right. You may want to increase the font on your signature. It's a little hard to read. If you have a specific question - if you could put Q . It will be easier to spot. It's easy to get overlooked when there is a lot of text. It's always advisable to taper the more stimulating drug first and keep the more sedating drug until later, as often when tapering, sleep can become an issue in which case you will really need that sedation. Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first? I'm so sorry that you're going through some life problems. They can be so hard, but worse in withdrawal. Please be extra gentle with yourself and treat yourself with lots of loving care. I had depression in a typical windows and waves fashion ; it eventually starts to recede, just like the tide. It really is all about the ocean - here. Life stressors exacerbate symptoms which can sometimes lead to a wave. Lots of self- care can help soften W/D symptoms and is something we all have to try to keep working on. I know that I have to keep striving for more as it is so easy to overlook at certain times. Thank you for your response AliG. yes my signature is up to date so you have that right. Q. Here in the UK the clocks go back an hour tonight. This means from the morning I'll be taking my meds an hour earlier than normal throughout the day. Do I need to worry about this? Edited October 28, 2017 by Nikki74 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
AliG Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 I wouldn't think that this would be a problem as you just take it when you normally do, allowing for the time difference. Just stay on your schedule. Add an hour on. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 28, 2017 Author Share Posted October 28, 2017 29 minutes ago, AliG said: I wouldn't think that this would be a problem as you just take it when you normally do, allowing for the time difference. Just stay on your schedule. Add an hour on. Sorry I got that wrong. So after midnight tonight the clocks go back an hour... so when it's 8.15am it would normally be 9.15am...so do I take my 8.15am lexapro at 7.15am?! I'm confused by it myself. It just means I'll have to take my 11.30pm Mirtazipine at 10.30pm which I'm worried will throw my sleep out as I'll wake earlier (it tends to give me sleep til 5am taken at 11.30pm) Or or shall I just stick to the same times and ignore the hour shift? Sorry, I'm so sensitive being destabilised so worried about it. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 16 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Oh my gosh, I do that! I've got big bags of what are called Kettle Chips here, really plain, but salted, and I can't get enough of them! I was downstairs munching on them at midnight as couldn't sleep. Thank you for your encouragement. Unfortunately last thing last night I had some stressing messages from a friend with aka and my agitation revved up. Ended up feeling electricity in my right hand! Thankfully after chips and some roast chicken, my Mirtazipine kicked in and I slept. But I'm symptomatic with the aka type feelings this morning and have had restless/ squirmy legs and feeling the fear stuff again and churning tummy. Though none of it is as bad as it was just a few weeks ago. I get this feeling of anger though that my body is feeling like this and like I want to go rahhh! And burst out. Sounds irritate me like a neighbour's dog whining or my own dog padding around. So unlike me so I know it's the chemical stuff and how I'm feeling with the agitation. X Isn't that funny about the chips, I was eating kettle chips too! Or rather gorging on them...kept the company afloat, I was eating so many! Sorry about the setback, I hope your friend is okay? I had the electrical feelings a bit too but they cleared up pretty fast thankfully. I understand about the feelings of anger too, that happens a lot to people who have akathisia. I was sensitive to noises as well and it didn't help in the least where I live most of my neighbours make a lot of noise. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 7 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Today, depression, fatigue and sensitive teeth are only symptoms. Not nice but a familiar place. Depression is typical of what I've been experiencing but also compounded by my dog being ill last night and the news that my son is going abroad to see his dad for Christmas. I'm sorry there's so much adding to your depression, Nikki. Christmas was often a hard time for me when I had issues from withdrawal, that would be hard to take having someone leave then too. And it's so hard when a pet is sick anyway let alone with all of what you have going on. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 Hi Nikki, Just popping round to say I'm still working on answering your PM, just today has been a bad day health wise so have not gotten as much done as planned. I hope your day is starting out okay. And hope your pup is doing well too. Thinking of you, US I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 3 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said: Hi Nikki, Just popping round to say I'm still working on answering your PM, just today has been a bad day health wise so have not gotten as much done as planned. I hope your day is starting out okay. And hope your pup is doing well too. Thinking of you, US Hi US Thank you. I'm so sorry to hear about your health problem. No rush to get back to me. You take good care and I'll hear from you when you're up to it. My pup is ok. She has heart disease so is on long term meds, she's getting on in age. She had a seizure on Saturday night. She's had them in the past but it was still a shock especially as I'm so raw these days! She's recovered from that though. Warm wishes Nikki 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 Thought I'd post a list of positive things that I've been able to do/ cope with over the past week or so that I've not been able to cope with/ focus on for weeks or months: I spent 6 hours with my Mum visiting today and made her dinner I went to church yesterday, coped with the music and people, stayed the whole service plus for prayer after, was out for 2 and a half hours Drawn a little, painted a little, sewn a little Got my son clothes online Showered then dried my hair and styled it, twice in a week I was able to make a plan to see my Mum regularly, I've not been able to think like that for months. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
wantrelief Posted October 30, 2017 Share Posted October 30, 2017 This is a great update, Nikki. So happy you have been able to see these improvements! -1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD) -10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot -Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram -Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015 -8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?) - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg). Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin Citalopram taper: 2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg; 4/20/24: 1.09 mg Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 30, 2017 Author Share Posted October 30, 2017 1 hour ago, wantrelief said: This is a great update, Nikki. So happy you have been able to see these improvements! Thank you so much WR. I can get caught in a wave of symptoms and forget these positives so needed to put them out here for the record! How are are you doing? 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 18 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Hi US Thank you. I'm so sorry to hear about your health problem. No rush to get back to me. You take good care and I'll hear from you when you're up to it. My pup is ok. She has heart disease so is on long term meds, she's getting on in age. She had a seizure on Saturday night. She's had them in the past but it was still a shock especially as I'm so raw these days! She's recovered from that though. Warm wishes Nikki Oh dear your poor pup, that is scary. I had a dog who had seizures too and lived with someone who had one who had them as well. You never do get used to it. Especially hard to take right now I'm sure! It's good to hear she's recovered from it. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 9 hours ago, Nikki74 said: Thought I'd post a list of positive things that I've been able to do/ cope with over the past week or so that I've not been able to cope with/ focus on for weeks or months: I spent 6 hours with my Mum visiting today and made her dinner I went to church yesterday, coped with the music and people, stayed the whole service plus for prayer after, was out for 2 and a half hours Drawn a little, painted a little, sewn a little Got my son clothes online Showered then dried my hair and styled it, twice in a week I was able to make a plan to see my Mum regularly, I've not been able to think like that for months. Nikki, this is really wonderful to hear! I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
Nikki74 Posted October 31, 2017 Author Share Posted October 31, 2017 1 hour ago, UnfoldingSky said: Nikki, this is really wonderful to hear! Thank you US. They feel like such big achievements! After months of being scared of my own name even and so much, and being in a constant state of agitation and fear. 2009-2011 mirtazapine 45mg plus clonaz as needed. Start Lexapro Nov 2011. June 2016 Zopiclone, July-Sept Trazodone 50mg, adverse reaction, ct, started pregabalin, reduced Lexapro from 20 to 15mg Start of 2017 on 15mg lexapro, 100mg pregablin. April added 15mg mirtazapine. End May. Start June stop pregablin after two week taper. End June. Stopped Lexapro 15mg 3 wk taper. Start July Mirt 30mg + Diaz daily 2-4mg End July returned to mirtaz 15mg + lexapro at 10mg reinstated. 4th Aug - 19 Sept Zopiclone (3.75 then 7.5 then 3.75 at the end) diazepam 7-8mg day since then. 16 Sept cut lex to 5mg. 5-6 Oct swapped 5mg lex to 8.15am and 15mg mirtazipine to 11pm 8 Oct onwards sticking to 6mg diazepam p/day 3 doses/ 2 Feb start 1mg clonazepam, stop Diaz. 21 Feb 2% cut lex. 8 March 12.5% clon cut. Now take .5 clon 9am, .375 5pm(0.875 mg daily clonazepam) 16 May @8% clon reduction so 9am dose .43(0.805 mg daily clonazepam) 2 July 10% Lexapro reduction to 4.5mg. 9 Aug .25mg lex cut to 4.25mg/ 13 Aug 4.5mg 2018 October Lexapro 4.5 to 4.25 mg clonazepam 0.80 mg mirtazapine 15 mg 2019 October present drugs: Lexapro 2.75 mg(tapers of 0.25 increments in last year at 5 -9 week intervals), clonazepam 0.78 mg(taper of .02 mg November 2018), mirtazapine 15 mg 2020 January 5th Lexapro taper to 2.57 mg(2%drop), total clonazepam 0.78 mg, mirtazapine 15 mg previous signature here recent dosing and symptom logs here Link to comment
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