☼ RealMe: fighting depression/withdrawal from Abilify, Trintellix now on Prozac

[RealMe]

Tinnitus very loud the past two days.

Tremors improving.

Morning brain fog/somnolence that gets gradually better throughout the day

Intrusive negative thoughts and anxiety, but these seem directly related to the level of tinnitus.  I'm trying to habituate to the noise.

Did a little gentle exercise yesterday.

Eating normally.

Waking up several times during night.  Sleeping in separate room from the snorer, but still waking up, then oversleeping in the morning.  Have to reduce my 4 cups of instant coffee (one rounded teaspoon per cup).  It is one of the few things I enjoy, so it is hard to give up, but I will try.

Have been meditating for 20 minutes per day.

[Rosetta]

RM, you are so good about taking care of yourself.  I hope you have a good day today.  -R

[Downbutnotout]

1 hour ago, RealMe said:

Tinnitus very loud the past two days.

Tremors improving.

Morning brain fog/somnolence that gets gradually better throughout the day

Intrusive negative thoughts and anxiety, but these seem directly related to the level of tinnitus.  I'm trying to habituate to the noise.

Did a little gentle exercise yesterday.

Eating normally.

Waking up several times during night.  Sleeping in separate room from the snorer, but still waking up, then oversleeping in the morning.  Have to reduce my 4 cups of instant coffee (one rounded teaspoon per cup).  It is one of the few things I enjoy, so it is hard to give up, but I will try.

Have been meditating for 20 minutes per day.

Have you had difficulty with how you relate to people? I never did before, but my relationships have all suffered since my depression. And since going off drugs. I am concerned. This is about you though. It sounds like you’re doing very well.  Doesn’t sound like depression is really that much of an issue for you? Are you just making up your mind this is the way it’s going to be, and accepting it? 

[Happy2Heal]

2 hours ago, RealMe said:

Waking up several times during night.  Sleeping in separate room from the snorer, but still waking up, then oversleeping in the morning.  Have to reduce my 4 cups of instant coffee (one rounded teaspoon per cup).  It is one of the few things I enjoy, so it is hard to give up, but I will try.

 

oh you still drink coffee? I had to give up my instant coffee almost 2 yrs ago now, sigh.

and I only recently started drinking reg black tea again (very weak but it does have caffeine in it, I was drinking only herbal tea for a long time but it's expensive)

 

now you've got me wondering if my tinnitus is from the caffeine in the black tea....... caffeine is a stimulant afterall.

I am going to have to give it a trial, go back to no tea and see if that makes any difference

 

I thought since I'm sleeping well it would be ok to save some $$ and drink the cheaper black tea but now I'm wondering if that was a mistake.

 

sounds like things are improving for you!! little bumps in the road, of course but that's to be expected.

what kind of exercise do you do?
I bought myself a yoga video and haven't even played it yet

I've promised myself that I will do that today!!

 

 

 

PS I've tried to drink  a tiny bit of decaf coffee in the past few months but discovered that I no longer like the taste of it! I do still enjoy the coffee aroma and like sitting with others who are drinking it, but it no longer tastes good to me, so I'm glad about that. I don't feel deprived this way

 

 

 

[RealMe]

5 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

Have you had difficulty with how you relate to people? I never did before, but my relationships have all suffered since my depression. And since going off drugs. I am concerned. This is about you though. It sounds like you’re doing very well.  Doesn’t sound like depression is really that much of an issue for you? Are you just making up your mind this is the way it’s going to be, and accepting it? 

Hi DBNO,

Yes, I have had a lot of difficulty relating to people when depressed and when in withdrawal.  When I am in a lot of pain, I either isolate or put on my Sarah Bernhardt (try my hardest to act pleasant regardless of how I feel).  If I can't act rational (sometimes too tearful or negative), I stay away.  I never get into arguments with people because I can't handle the stress.  Neither can people make me do anything I don't want to do or think anything I don't want to think; but that is just because at my age, I know I just have to do what I think is right no matter what other people think.  I was so docile about taking meds for depression.  I was an obedient patient, but I believed I was doing the right thing.   When that changed and I no longer believed drugs could help me, I stopped taking most of them (now down to 8.1 mg. of fluoxetine) and started listening to people who sound reasonable about my predicament.  I didn't really stand up to the doctor and therapist when they said I couldn't taper off.  I said what I wanted.  They said no.  I fired them.  No arguments necessary.

 

I am very fortunate that my husband has been very understanding and patient.  I would be in a real fix if he were not so tolerant of my moods.  He has mellowed quite a bit over the years.  Virtually none of my friends or family know or understand the WDs I am experiencing, either because they just don't or because I don't talk about it with them.

 

Have you read any of William Glasser's books?  I think he makes a lot of sense when it comes to dealing with troubling relationships.

 

Yes, depression is definitely an issue with me.  Sometimes my intrusive, negative thoughts are paralyzing, but they are not constant.  When they come, I think of them as "neuro emotions" which are described on this forum in great detail.  I try anything to cope with them.  I mean, anything.  Reading success stories, complaining on my intro, reading books, gentle exercising, meditating, television, mindless surfing on the internet, sleeping.

 

xo RM

 

 

[RealMe]

Just a brief update.  I've been thinking that if I just observe my behavior objectively instead of thinking about how I feel (and all my symptoms), it is obvious that I am behaving better.  I may not be feeling very well, but I am functioning better.  Monday I went to work and had quite a few fulfilling moments where I was not focused on my symptoms.  This morning I was very lethargic, fatigued, and unmotivated until early afternoon.  Then I made my bed, got dressed, went to a new meditation group for an hour, picked up my granddaughters, baked muffins, and took my other granddaughter to her music lessons.  I spoke to my sister, my daughter and two friends on the phone.  I made a sandwich for my husband's dinner (that's what he wanted), and since then I've been surfing the internet and watching tv back and forth.  School is cancelled tomorrow, so no stress.

 

Hope my fellow survivors are doing well and recovering.  I would not be healing as I am without the support I find here.

[Happy2Heal]

very positive update RM!!

yes, I look back at all that I did last year and it amazes me that, for the most part, I looked and acted normally and even better than I was when I was drugged.

I felt horrible, but no one could tell from looking at me, at least, most of the time.

 

It's good to keep busy. I ran a benefit fair for a non profit while I was still in acute WD. I look back on that and wonder how I did it! I also did an online auction for a friend. 

Now that I'm feeling better, I'm actually doing a lot less, hahaha

I think I'm giving myself a vacation.

 

 

that's cool that you have a meditation group. did you like it?  

[Downbutnotout]

11 hours ago, RealMe said:

Just a brief update.  I've been thinking that if I just observe my behavior objectively instead of thinking about how I feel (and all my symptoms), it is obvious that I am behaving better.  I may not be feeling very well, but I am functioning better.  Monday I went to work and had quite a few fulfilling moments where I was not focused on my symptoms.  This morning I was very lethargic, fatigued, and unmotivated until early afternoon.  Then I made my bed, got dressed, went to a new meditation group for an hour, picked up my granddaughters, baked muffins, and took my other granddaughter to her music lessons.  I spoke to my sister, my daughter and two friends on the phone.  I made a sandwich for my husband's dinner (that's what he wanted), and since then I've been surfing the internet and watching tv back and forth.  School is cancelled tomorrow, so no stress.

 

Hope my fellow survivors are doing well and recovering.  I would not be healing as I am without the support I find here.

Sounds good. 

[wantrelief]

12 hours ago, RealMe said:

Just a brief update.  I've been thinking that if I just observe my behavior objectively instead of thinking about how I feel (and all my symptoms), it is obvious that I am behaving better.  I may not be feeling very well, but I am functioning better.  Monday I went to work and had quite a few fulfilling moments where I was not focused on my symptoms.  This morning I was very lethargic, fatigued, and unmotivated until early afternoon.  Then I made my bed, got dressed, went to a new meditation group for an hour, picked up my granddaughters, baked muffins, and took my other granddaughter to her music lessons.  I spoke to my sister, my daughter and two friends on the phone.  I made a sandwich for my husband's dinner (that's what he wanted), and since then I've been surfing the internet and watching tv back and forth.  School is cancelled tomorrow, so no stress.

 

Hope my fellow survivors are doing well and recovering.  I would not be healing as I am without the support I find here.

What a great update, RM.  I hope you are enjoying your stress free day!

[Littlegrandma]

Hi RM

interested in this meditation group. How long have you been going? 

Do you feel it’s helping? I find it difficult to meditate and do yoga on my own at home. I’m going to see if there’s a group near me. 

 

Sounds like you’re doing a bit better. Happy for you!!  xx lg 

[RealMe]

53 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Hi RM

interested in this meditation group. How long have you been going? 

Do you feel it’s helping? I find it difficult to meditate and do yoga on my own at home. I’m going to see if there’s a group near me. 

 

Sounds like you’re doing a bit better. Happy for you!!  xx lg 

I only went once.  Yesterday was the first time, so I can't say one way or the other.  I was just glad to go somewhere with people where there wasn't a lot of chit-chat, just a little.  My psychotherapist gave me some "mindfulness" meditations which I can only describe as "hokey," but I am trying them anyway.  For example, "imagine you are a pebble on the shore of a beautiful, calm, blue lake.  Someone throws the pebble into the lake, and you drift down, down, down to the sandy bottom.  Notice all the things you see and feel as you sway and drift downward..."  I can't picture myself as a pebble or as drifting down in a lake without drowning yet. I have to find another one to try.

[Happy2Heal]

8 minutes ago, RealMe said:

For example, "imagine you are a pebble on the shore of a beautiful, calm, blue lake.  Someone throws the pebble into the lake, and you drift down, down, down to the sandy bottom.  Notice all the things you see and feel as you sway and drift downward..."  I can't picture myself as a pebble or as drifting down in a lake without drowning yet. I have to find another one to try.

 

forgive me for butting into your conversation.

 

I found that kind of meditation, usually called 'guided meditation'  to be totally unhelpful during WD and even now- 

your brain is already stressed and possibly imagining all sorts of scary things (I, too, could not do that without thinking about drowning, our brains seem to be very literal and very detail oriented during this process)

 

I found the only kind of meditation that helps is the kind that focuses on my breath and sensations in my body

Something like this, but I found some that are longer:
https://youtu.be/SEfs5TJZ6Nk

 

 

you just pay attention to your breathing. you don't try to control it, or slow it down, at least not at first. Later on, as you get comfortable doing this, you may want to focus more on the kind of breathing you do in yoga.

 

in fact, yoga is mostly working with the breath, and I think that's why it's been so helpful to me

Mind you, I do gentle "chair" yoga, that even disabled ppl can do. It's stretches and breathing, that's about it.

It seems to be too simple to have any effect, but I"ve missed 3 sessions and I can see a huge difference in how I feel (I felt good most days after that once a week free yoga class; in the 3 weeks that I've missed, I've had more and more waves of feeling anxiety, dread and anger)

 

anyway, that's my input on the meditation. I went to a yoga class that I paid $5 for, but the instructor did a guided meditation (to a mountain top) that bothered me so much I had to leave during it.

I prefer to just focus on my breathing and maybe relaxing different muscle groups or something like that.

 

I feel like my imagination is too acute now. I can't watch the news and many tv shows because when bad things happen, I almost immediately imagine those things happening to me, and I feel as if those things are happening to me, it's not good!!

I can't tolerate talking to ppl who go on about tragedies and things of that sort, either, as it has the same effect on me.

 

sorry, I don't mean to make this all about me. I wonder if this is something that happens to others in WD though?
 

when I was drugged, I couldn't feel anything, for myself or for others. Now, it almost seems like I'm "over feeling" things...

 

I wonder if the drugs damaged my/our "mirror neurons" and coming off them, makes those neurons come back "online" but in a super sensitive state. 

 

curious what others think about this.

 

again my apologies for butting in. I hope this is useful info for others though

 

 

 

[Littlegrandma]

Yep. Focus on the breathing is the only meditation I’ve had success with. I’d be the pebble getting sucked up by a clam. I’m ok in yoga class. Just never feel well enough to go. On my own it causes more anxiety. 

 

I cant watch the news. My mother knows this and insists on telling me what is going wrong in the world. Last night she had to give me details about Austin tx. Or updates on the election. Even that bothers me. And I don’t feel well enough to care which criminal is running my state. Last week she called late night to tell me some sad family drama. Really? You’re calling me at bedtime to tell me this?  I didn’t want to sleep anyway. I know she just wants to vent but geesh, I’ve got plenty of brothers she can talk to. I’ve asked for only the positive, please. 

[Happy2Heal]

20 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

I’m ok in yoga class. Just never feel well enough to go. On my own it causes more anxiety. 

 

oh me, too. I bought myself a yoga DVD but haven't even watched it once yet. 

:/

20 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

I cant watch the news. My mother knows this and insists on telling me what is going wrong in the world. Last night she had to give me details about Austin tx. Or updates on the election. Even that bothers me. And I don’t feel well enough to care which criminal is running my state. Last week she called late night to tell me some sad family drama. Really? You’re calling me at bedtime to tell me this?  I didn’t want to sleep anyway. I know she just wants to vent but geesh, I’ve got plenty of brothers she can talk to. I’ve asked for only the positive, please. 

 

 

I hear you!! I'm sorry your family is not respecting your wishes.

 

I've asked people again and again not to announce to me what tragedy or other scary thing is on the news, but very people get it, it's like the only thing they know how to talk about.

only on rare occasions can I tolerate it, otherwise I have to walk away.

What I need is a way to shut people up when I'm in a situation where I can't walk away.

I have a couple of friends, who can be the nicest ppl, but they are constantly telling me stories of all the awful things that either happened to them, or to relatives or to ppl they know, and then, when they run out of ppl they know, they go to the stories on the news. Argg!
no matter how many times I asked them not to.

I say can we keep the conversation light and positive, please??

nope, it always ends up going back to all the ways they've been wronged or are a victim, or all the medical issues they have (in great and gross detail no less)
I feel badly but I just have to avoid these people as much as I can.

 

I do need some strategy for times I am trapped and can't get away however. 

 

someone suggested that I redirect the conversation, but I've never been a very social person and have only the most basic social skills. Redirecting a conversation seems to require more skills than I have.

I tried just bluntly ask ppl to stop talking about all the tragedies in the world, that it upsets me. but that was too direct,I guess LOL

and it did not work.

I would have started talking about something lighter and most positive myself but at the time I was in the depths of WD and had only dark things on my mind (hence why I wanted to avoid hearing about them on top of that)

 

It's interesting to see that this is a common issue for us going thru WD. 

I wonder how others deal with it.

 

[Littlegrandma]

My family knows there is certain people and situations they can’t talk about. They usually respect my wishes. My mom is getting very forgetful. I can forgive that. If they talk about it in front of me, I don’t care who it is, I’ll just stick my fingers in my ears and go lalalala or walk away. 

 

What ticks me off is when they give me taper advice. This morning my mom said if you’d have just stayed at Mayo a little longer, they’d have had you off all that crap. Well, some of that crap they put me on.  The Ativan. And yes they’d have had me off of lex. They dropped me 50% in a week and look where that got me. She thinks the drs there are Gods. Yes, the medical part is fantastic. The psychs are baffoons like anywhere else in the world. 

 

H2H I’m sad to hear you’re still getting waves. Actually, it scares me. Did you have a lot of physical symptoms or mostly emotional?  

Headaches, nausea? Hung over feeling? Body pain?  I’ve read your thread a couple of times but the fog cog. You know!!   Lg

[Happy2Heal]

19 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

H2H I’m sad to hear you’re still getting waves. Actually, it scares me. Did you have a lot of physical symptoms or mostly emotional?  

Headaches, nausea? Hung over feeling? Body pain?

 

 

oh don't worry LG< these are extremely mild and very short waves. They could even be just normal fluctuations in moods etc, I don't know, except they feel more like WD stuff. or they remind me of a much milder version of what I went thru during acute WD, you know?

 

I probably would just dismiss the small issues I have now, except that I have that memory of them being so much worse in the past. So the small issue comes with a memory of that I have to fight off, kinda.... I have to work to remind myself that the past is in the past. The symptoms I had in Oct 2016 were so shocking to me, that I guess I've got kind of like PTSD. Anything at all remotely similar and it triggers a nervous reaction in me, a sense of dread or just an "icky" feeling, you know?

It's just something I need to work thru, most likely using CBT stuff, I guess. I usually can shake it off pretty quickly, when I can't ,I pull out some of the books I got ,or read on here to see if I can find some tips.

 

No I don't have any physical symptoms except the occasional tinnitus, which I may have had long before WD, I seem to recall having it as a teenager, but even then I only noticed it when it was super quiet. I don't have any other physical symptoms that I can think of....I mean, not now!! 
I did before, and they were just awful. I am so grateful all of that is over!  the physical stuff was bad at first, but now I think my body is totally healed. I just need to work on emotional stuff, but I needed to do that anyway. it was emotional stuff that got me on the fool drugs in the first place

 

 

so yeh, just wee little emotional things. They don't affect my life much at all, unless I spend time obsessing about them, that is. LOL
I did seem to get pulled into worrying about my recent feelings of anger, but I've got things to be angry about... I posted elsewhere about this, I think in the self care thread....? ok so I have some memory issues,too LOL but that could just be my age LOL or the fact that I'm very busy trying to get things done around the house cuz I plan to be out a lot the next couple of days LOL

I do seem to get thrown off when/if I get overly emotional about something, but I think I was always like that. LOL I"ve always had very strong emotions, I think that's why I liked the lexapro at first, it dampened those down a lot. And eventually, TOO much lol

 

 

oh, so don't be scared! ok? I still think I"m mostly healed and only have a tiny bit of dusting up to do in my brain to get things all working at their best.

I was on the meds for decades, and I'm a lot older now, too, so I don't expect to be able to think as quickly as I did when I was in high school or anything like that. Actually, now that I think about it, I was under so much stress in HS, with family problems and such (severe emotional abuse) that I actually can think more clearly now than I was able to back then.

 

 

 

 

 

[Littlegrandma]

Phew

thats good to hear. I’m counting on you H2H. You’re one of the success stories I follow and read and re-read.  

 

Id much rather have some small emotional issues to deal with , than be brain dead like on lex. I remember when I came off zoloft ct several years ago. I had no physical symptoms , but emotions flooded in and it was a trick to sort them out. I didnt even realize they were stunted to that extent on the drug. Not like lexapro!!  

 

Ok. I’m still counting on you. And am so grateful you’ve stuck around to help the rest of us out.   

Hugs lg 🌷

[RealMe]

Talking about stunted emotions...I bumped into a friend last week, and she actually said to me, "you seem so much more awake lately.  Are you on medication?"  I couldn't believe it!  I went blank and didn't say anything.  Well, then she confided she's on AD meds and will need to be on them for the rest of her life.  I couldn't believe I was in this conversation with her!  I told her I was tapering off Prozac, and so far I was doing ok.  Then I changed the subject!  Years ago people wouldn't talk this freely about mental health issues, but today it's like talking about the flu, I guess.  I'm probably a little more private than a lot of people.  When I started on ADs, I wouldn't admit it for anything.

 

As far as "Debbie Downers" (that's what I call them only in my head, even though I can be one myself when I whine and complain about my suffering), the only thing I can do is change the subject, stay away, cut the call short, or change the channel.  Drug advertising gets me angry.  There are some movies and tv shows I absolutely cannot watch.  The news tragedies and political talking heads can also be distressing for me.  I just try to stay away as much as I can.  I go on FB a lot, but I delete quite a bit, especially the political arguments and anything to do with suffering.

 

[Downbutnotout]

21 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Talking about stunted emotions...I bumped into a friend last week, and she actually said to me, "you seem so much more awake lately.  Are you on medication?"  I couldn't believe it!  I went blank and didn't say anything.  Well, then she confided she's on AD meds and will need to be on them for the rest of her life.  I couldn't believe I was in this conversation with her!  I told her I was tapering off Prozac, and so far I was doing ok.  Then I changed the subject!  Years ago people wouldn't talk this freely about mental health issues, but today it's like talking about the flu, I guess.  I'm probably a little more private than a lot of people.  When I started on ADs, I wouldn't admit it for anything.

 

As far as "Debbie Downers" (that's what I call them only in my head, even though I can be one myself when I whine and complain about my suffering), the only thing I can do is change the subject, stay away, cut the call short, or change the channel.  Drug advertising gets me angry.  There are some movies and tv shows I absolutely cannot watch.  The news tragedies and political talking heads can also be distressing for me.  I just try to stay away as much as I can.  I go on FB a lot, but I delete quite a bit, especially the political arguments and anything to do with suffering.

 

You sound like you’ve got a handle on this. 

[Littlegrandma]

Haha that’s too funny. Are you on medication?  

I think there’s very little stigma attached to AD meds anymore. Everybody’s doing it. But nobody wants to say they have mental illness. I can freely admit it. I think depression, anxiety, alcoholism, drug abuse, are all forms of mental illness. But, I think they can all be treated and cured without AD drugs. I’d kill for the little anxiety I had pre- lexapro and treat it with a gin and tonic. Lol. 

 

I can watch ID tv or murder tv I call it. I don’t really watch. Just listen. It’s like a crime novel. So that doesn’t really bother me. But the news, I can’t take. And drug ads make me angry as well. My husband has heard me yelling at the tv about that. I don’t really watch much tv but there’s a few sitcoms I look forward to that are good for a laugh

[Kristine]

22 hours ago, RealMe said:

Just a brief update.  I've been thinking that if I just observe my behavior objectively instead of thinking about how I feel (and all my symptoms), it is obvious that I am behaving better.  I may not be feeling very well, but I am functioning better.  Monday I went to work and had quite a few fulfilling moments where I was not focused on my symptoms.  This morning I was very lethargic, fatigued, and unmotivated until early afternoon.  Then I made my bed, got dressed, went to a new meditation group for an hour, picked up my granddaughters, baked muffins, and took my other granddaughter to her music lessons.  I spoke to my sister, my daughter and two friends on the phone.  I made a sandwich for my husband's dinner (that's what he wanted), and since then I've been surfing the internet and watching tv back and forth.  School is cancelled tomorrow, so no stress.

This is a wonderful update RealMe,  you are a very insightful lady  thank you for sharing...and you baked muffins! Yum! Much Love K xo

[Happy2Heal]

On 3/21/2018 at 3:34 PM, RealMe said:

As far as "Debbie Downers" (that's what I call them only in my head, even though I can be one myself when I whine and complain about my suffering), the only thing I can do is change the subject, stay away, cut the call short, or change the channel.  Drug advertising gets me angry.  There are some movies and tv shows I absolutely cannot watch.  The news tragedies and political talking heads can also be distressing for me.  I just try to stay away as much as I can.  I go on FB a lot, but I delete quite a bit, especially the political arguments and anything to do with suffering.

 

Oh my drug ads make me mad too! I used to yell at the tv, now I just leave the room (I'd mute them if I knew how without having to get up- still haven't figured out the remote lol)

 

 

 

 

 

[RealMe]

2 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

 

Oh my drug ads make me mad too! I used to yell at the tv, now I just leave the room (I'd mute them if I knew how without having to get up- still haven't figured out the remote lol)

I still yell at the tv.  I just told my husband he has a choice, either lower the tv when they come on or put up with me!  It's the brainwashing of America, and I wish there were something we could do about it. Grrrr.

 

[AliG]

Hi RM. I've been following your progress and just wanted to stop by and say " well done - you". You have come such a long way and have really educated yourself about this process ~ which is of course, why you are doing so well.

 

You have been patient and inquisitive whilst remaining positive. You are also educating yourself about health and psych drugs. It's a perfect combination and I can see that it's slowly starting to pay off in terms of your progress.

 

Keep up the good work !    it's so great to see ~

Ali

[Manny78]

Hello Real Me. How are you doing? I am riding this wave. Hugs.

Manny

[RealMe]

4 hours ago, AliG said:

Keep up the good work !    it's so great to see ~

Hi Ali,

Thank you so very much for your knowledge and encouragement!  I look back and wonder how I could have taken all those meds for so long with all of those side effects, but now I have hope.  I am so glad that you are able to pass on what you learned about safe tapering, getting healthy, and surviving AD's!  I aspire...

xo RM

[RealMe]

1 hour ago, Manny78 said:

Hello Real Me. How are you doing? I am riding this wave. Hugs.

Manny

Hi Manny,

Sometimes when the waves come, that's the best thing to do--ride them.  They eventually bring us to the shore.  Your patience will pay off if you follow the healthy advice you find here!  Check out the success stories.  Go back and read the mods' suggestions.  They comfort me and help me through the rough times.  Write an update on your introduction.  Hugs to you too, Manny!

xo RM

[AliG]

45 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Hi Ali,

Thank you so very much for your knowledge and encouragement!  I look back and wonder how I could have taken all those meds for so long with all of those side effects, but now I have hope.  I am so glad that you are able to pass on what you learned about safe tapering, getting healthy, and surviving AD's!  I aspire...

xo RM

 

Thanks RM. It's lovely to see some positivity, for a change and some real progress with a great attitude.  

Ali xx

[RealMe]

Tinnitus very ramped up.  Went out to lunch with friends today and had Italian wedding soup and eggplant.  I avoided the diet soda and had water.  I thought that might be good enough, but now I'm thinking maybe the salt and tomato sauce have to be avoided entirely.  I hadn't had either one for quite some time, and it will be a long time before I try either one again.  I actually went an hour's drive for a tinnitus support group; but when I got there, they told me it was cancelled.  Oh well. 

 

Waking 4-5 times during the night

 

Still have the following, but definitely improved:

Dystonia and hand tremors

Hypersomnia and brain fog

Intrusive negative thinking

Anxiety

Lethargy/lack of motivation

 

[wantrelief]

I am so glad you are seeing some improvements with some of your symptoms, RM....that must be very reassuring!

[Manny78]

Hello everyone.I don't know what to say. I feel so sorry for all of us who are suffering. I feel very bad myself. I am trying to figure out why I feel so bad myself. I am thinking it can be the abilify. I take abilify 10 mg disintegrating tablets. I am cut them and I weigh them. I read that they should be place in the mouth till they disintegrate. Maybe that is the reason I don't feel well because I am not getting the same amount of abilify everyday.Any moderator or member can explain to me how do you taper abilify? What kind of abilify are you taking,disintegrating tablets or "normal" tablets?

 

Thank very much,

 

Manny

[RealMe]

12 hours ago, Manny78 said:

Hello everyone.I don't know what to say. I feel so sorry for all of us who are suffering. I feel very bad myself. I am trying to figure out why I feel so bad myself. I am thinking it can be the abilify. I take abilify 10 mg disintegrating tablets. I am cut them and I weigh them. I read that they should be place in the mouth till they disintegrate. Maybe that is the reason I don't feel well because I am not getting the same amount of abilify everyday.Any moderator or member can explain to me how do you taper abilify? What kind of abilify are you taking,disintegrating tablets or "normal" tablets?

 

Thank very much,

 

Manny

Hi Manny,

Try to put your posts on your introduction page so that the moderators and others will find your questions.  I hope you get the help you need and that you feel better soon.  

Sending you hugs and lots of support.

xo RM  

[RealMe]

I had a little breather yesterday and this morning where tinnitus wasn't horrible, but tonight I am just trying to distract myself with computer and television.  I have a toothache.  Hoping it will quiet down by itself.  Good luck to me. I'm short-tempered and anxious, but hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.  

I subbed yesterday and the day before; two days in a row is unusual for me.  Glad I was able to do it.  

Today I saw the therapist for the last time.  He gave me some "mindfulness meditations" to help with tinnitus (which unfortunately have not helped yet).   I just told him I didn't think there was any more he could do for me.  We agreed that I am functioning "normally," am in a supportive relationship, have a support system (you guys), got my dr. to agree to my taper which I am doing successfully so far, and will make an appointment should I need one in the future.  Typical of me though, on the way to my car, I thought, "Gee he was awfully quick to agree.  I hope I can do this."  It's just that in my experience mental health people never think you're ready to stop therapy or medications.

Only woke up three times last night.

Less brain fog than usual today.

 

 

 

[wantrelief]

29 minutes ago, RealMe said:

I had a little breather yesterday and this morning where tinnitus wasn't horrible, but tonight I am just trying to distract myself with computer and television.  I have a toothache.  Hoping it will quiet down by itself.  Good luck to me. I'm short-tempered and anxious, but hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.  

I subbed yesterday and the day before; two days in a row is unusual for me.  Glad I was able to do it.  

Today I saw the therapist for the last time.  He gave me some "mindfulness meditations" to help with tinnitus (which unfortunately have not helped yet).   I just told him I didn't think there was any more he could do for me.  We agreed that I am functioning "normally," am in a supportive relationship, have a support system (you guys), got my dr. to agree to my taper which I am doing successfully so far, and will make an appointment should I need one in the future.  Typical of me though, on the way to my car, I thought, "Gee he was awfully quick to agree.  I hope I can do this."  It's just that in my experience mental health people never think you're ready to stop therapy or medications.

Only woke up three times last night.

Less brain fog than usual today.

 

 

 

Hi RM!  Thanks for visiting my thread.  I am so glad you got a break yesterday and this morning where the tinnitus was better but sorry it has returned tonight.  Also sorry about your toothache - I hope it goes away on its own. Both the tinnitus and toothache sound like understandable reasons to feel short-tempered and anxious.  It sounds like you are doing really well, overall....so great you subbed two days in a row and it sounds like you feel good about the plan you set with your now ex-therapist.  You can do this, RM!  

[Littlegrandma]

This all sounds positive and promising RM. I’m really happy for you. I hope you’re assured that the tinnitus will eventually go away completely. It’s a bugger. I have it every day, but so much worse when anxiety is at its highest. And it’s reassuring to me when anyone says the brain fog has lifted a bit. 

 

You can do this!! You’re almost there. 

 

I hope tomorrow is even even better for you. Hugs xx lg

[RealMe]

3 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

This all sounds positive and promising RM. I’m really happy for you. I hope you’re assured that the tinnitus will eventually go away completely. It’s a bugger. I have it every day, but so much worse when anxiety is at its highest. And it’s reassuring to me when anyone says the brain fog has lifted a bit. 

 

You can do this!! You’re almost there. 

 

I hope tomorrow is even even better for you. Hugs xx lg

Thanks so much, lg!  Practically everyone I talk to says I have to learn to habituate to it and not be emotional about it.  Lots of luck with that!  But I keep telling myself either it or I will have to get better.  There's no other way.  For the past few weeks, it seems like the anxiety follows the tinnitus, not the other way around.  Either way, I hope for healing for the both of us.  I don't mean to minimize the improvements I've been experiencing in other symptoms, so there is hope.

xo RM