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RealMe

RealMe: Fighting depression/withdrawal from Abilify, Trintellix now on Prozac

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wantrelief

I am glad the rest of your day was not as bad as yesterday, RM. 

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Littlegrandma

Hi RM

How awesome you can get back to sleep. Obviously what your body needed. Glad you’re feeling a little better. Lg

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RealMe
26 minutes ago, Littlegrandma said:

Hi RM

How awesome you can get back to sleep. Obviously what your body needed. Glad you’re feeling a little better. Lg

Thank you, Lg.  You remind me not to be hard on myself for all this sleeping.  I keep feeling guilty of laziness and selfishness.  I should be grateful I can sleep.  There are so many SA's who suffer from insomnia.  I agreed to work tomorrow, so I will have to get up.  That's why I think it's a character problem.  If I have a strong commitment, I manage to do it but only for a day here or there.  Well, I got through this day, and I am glad of that.  Hope you are well, dear Lg.  Sorry, I'm very self-centered these days.

xo RM

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Littlegrandma

Oh RM, we’re all self centered these days. Self absorbed in our misery. 

Dont be hard on yourself for sleeping as much as you can. Be grateful. You’re doing some serious healing while you sleep. 

You are up and responsible when need be. You’ve not neglected anybody else. Don’t neglect yourself. 

 

Have a a good day at work. 

XX lg

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RealMe

Irritable/Anxious

Tremors/dystonia

Tinnitus moderate to severe

Some crying

Joint pains/Sensation of mouth discomfort (funny taste, feels like bite is off & tongue doesn't fit right)

Waking up 5+ times during night/Lethargic/brain fog/negative in the mornings

Behavior ok but cranky/Better in the afternoons/evenings

My sisters are visiting, and they are energetic and cheerful.  It's hard for me to cope with them. 😕  They will be here till Sunday.  I worked three days last week.

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Rosetta

So sorry.  I hope this passes quickly. - Rosetta

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RealMe
39 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

So sorry.  I hope this passes quickly. - Rosetta

Thanks, Rosetta.  I don't like it when I complain, but I have to keep it real. I am just trying to keep an accurate record of my symptoms.  I'm functioning fairly well from all outside appearances, and that's important to me.  Several months ago, I was barely functioning.  I may have made my last cut too soon.  I'm going to try to get some stability here.

xo RM

 

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wantrelief
2 hours ago, RealMe said:

Irritable/Anxious

Tremors/dystonia

Tinnitus moderate to severe

Some crying

Joint pains/Sensation of mouth discomfort (funny taste, feels like bite is off & tongue doesn't fit right)

Waking up 5+ times during night/Lethargic/brain fog/negative in the mornings

Behavior ok but cranky/Better in the afternoons/evenings

My sisters are visiting, and they are energetic and cheerful.  It's hard for me to cope with them. 😕  They will be here till Sunday.  I worked three days last week.

 

1 hour ago, RealMe said:

I don't like it when I complain, but I have to keep it real. I am just trying to keep an accurate record of my symptoms.  I'm functioning fairly well from all outside appearances, and that's important to me.  Several months ago, I was barely functioning.  I may have made my last cut too soon.  I'm going to try to get some stability here.

 

You are doing great, RM!  You have managed to work three days last week and are entertaining your energetic, cheerful sisters.  That sounds really hard given everything you are dealing with.  I like that you keep it real, I don't see what you write as complaining at all.  I think it is a great perspective you have to see that you are functioning better than you were several months ago.  I am thinking about you, RM and sending big hugs - WR.

 

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RealMe
1 hour ago, wantrelief said:

You are doing great, RM!  You have managed to work three days last week and are entertaining your energetic, cheerful sisters.  That sounds really hard given everything you are dealing with.  I like that you keep it real, I don't see what you write as complaining at all.  I think it is a great perspective you have to see that you are functioning better than you were several months ago.  I am thinking about you, RM and sending big hugs - WR.

 

Hi WR,

Your kindness makes me cry--but good crying.  Your words are so comforting and encouraging.  Thank you so much.

xo RM

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RealMe

Just barely trudging through the day.  I probably should updose, but I'm going to tough it out and hold longer this time.  I feel like I weigh 900 pounds, and everything is too hard for me.  It could be that my sisters' energy is making me feel slow by comparison-- not that I'm trying to compare. It's hard to even have a conversation with them.  It feels like everything is going way too fast for me.

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wantrelief
19 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Just barely trudging through the day

I relate to feeling this way, RM....you are not alone.  It has got to be really challenging to be feeling this way with your sisters there, sounds like a lot of stimulation.  I hope you are getting some downtime too.  Thinking about you - WR.

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RealMe

Better today.

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Littlegrandma

That’s great RM!! 

I hope you get better and better!

hugs xx

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RealMe

Waking up four or more times during night.

Brain fog/lethargy in morning.

Anhedonia

Low mood/improves in evening

Irritable/anxious/makes me want to isolate

The usual tinnitus/tremors

Brief windows on occasion

Eating clean but overweight--have gained about 12 pounds since October (started fluoxetine as bridge from abilify, trintillex)

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RealMe

Feeling relief in many symptoms today.  Only woke up twice last night.  Not as irritable or anxious. Increased appetite.  More enjoyment of family.

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Littlegrandma

That’s great RM

Happy Mother’s Day!  🌷

xx

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wantrelief

Wonderful, RM!

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RealMe
1 hour ago, Littlegrandma said:

That’s great RM

Happy Mother’s Day!  🌷

xx

Happy Mother's Day to you too, LG! :)

 

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RealMe
1 hour ago, wantrelief said:

Wonderful, RM!

Thanks, WR!  Hope you are feeling well also.  You are such great support. :)

 

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RealMe

Took care of my granddaughters this morning and did not go back to bed.  Met some friends for coffee and enjoyed the company.  Tinnitus and dystonia present but bearable.  Took a long walk in the sunshine.  Feeling hopeful that I may recover from this AD withdrawal.  Yay.  I need to learn how to be patient.

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Ogres

Hi RealMe, glad that you're staying positive in WD! It takes some courage, will and determination. Sending positive vibes to you, my friend. 

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RealMe

Third day of window!  

I bought a sound machine to run at bedtime.  I read that tinnitus hearers should not be in silent surroundings even when sleeping.  It must be true because I have been waking up only twice at night rather than 5 or 6 times.  I think it helps with my husband's snoring as well.  I have been getting up on time and not going back to bed (2 days in a row).

I walked two days in a row in the sunshine (1.6 miles).  Today was rainy so I didn't go.  

A friend mentioned going to a show, and I said I would like to go too.  They don't have a date yet.  Usually I can't easily plan ahead for social things, but if I say I'm going to be somewhere, I show up no matter what (not always good for me).  When I feel ok, I want to socialize.  I will think positive about the show.

I have been meditating twice a day.  Actually, I also do this during waves as well.

Reading uplifting quotations.

Watching Schitts Creek on Netflix.  It's very funny, and I love Moira.  Have actually laughed out loud.  Imagine that.  Yay.  (Avoiding negative media as much as possible. Using delete key profusely on FB.)

Sending hugs and hope to fellow survivors!

xo RM

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Rosetta

So nice to hear.  - Rosetta

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RealMe
Just now, Rosetta said:

So nice to hear.  - Rosetta

Hi Rosetta,

Thanks for your message.  I know we have talked before about paying a price for windows :).   I'm just going to keep pushing that thought aside, but I want to be realistic and not caught by surprise.  Waves and windows are both part of this WD process.  Last week I could barely function.  So glad to have this lovely break.  Hope you are doing well, friend.

xo RM

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Littlegrandma

Wonderful!

im jealous and can’t wait for the experience myself. It’s like a gift, isn’t it?  I keep saying once this is over, I will never take life for granted again. 

Im so happy for you RM!! So good to hear. Gives hope to us all. And I know it’ll make any wave easier for you, though that might not happen as you’ve been getting better and better. 🤞🏻

xx hugs 🌹

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RealMe
17 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

 I keep saying once this is over, I will never take life for granted again. 

Hi dear LG,

You are so right about that!  I guess there are some people who will never know this struggle, and I sure hope they appreciate it!  :)

xo RM

 

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Happy2Heal
On 5/16/2018 at 9:19 PM, Littlegrandma said:

I keep saying once this is over, I will never take life for granted again. 

 

oh I said this very same thing, and you know? now that it's basically over for me (as far as I know, and knock on wood LOL only about 7 mos off, so who knows?)

anyway, now that the worst of it is over, 

I actually do take things for granted again. 😛

I swore I wouldn't- but I am.

 

I guess that's just human nature


RM, I hope that your wave is continuing, you so deserve it.

 

 


 

 

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RealMe
13 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

now that the worst of it is over, 

I actually do take things for granted again.

Hi H2H,

That must be a sign of normalcy.  I won't be afraid of taking the good for granted once in a while!  Some of my gull-durned symptoms have reappeared after a nice window, but I have to be patient and keep the overall picture in mind.

xo RM

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Rosetta

I'm very glad you had a window.  That's great!!  I hope it's long!  - Rosetta

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Happy2Heal

oh another window is coming and before you know it, it's *all* a wide open window

 

you're still tapering, right? when do you expect to get to zero?

 

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RealMe
13 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

oh another window is coming and before you know it, it's *all* a wide open window

 

you're still tapering, right? when do you expect to get to zero?

 

I don't know.  I need to stabilize on what I'm on right now.  I may try another cut in a week or two.

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Kristine
31 minutes ago, RealMe said:

Hi Kristine,

Can you help me out again with my math?  What is my next 10% reduction?  I'm on .81mL of fluoxetine (3.24mg).

Thanks.

xoRm

Just going to copy and paste from my thread so you have a record....

 

Hey @RealMe..I looked up the strength on your page (20mg in 5ml) ..So your current dose of fluoxetine is 3.24mg...10% of 3.24 is 0.324

3.24 - 0.324 = 2.916mg

 

Dose to be given       X     Stock Volume             

Stock strength

 

  2.916mg     X      5ml   =   0.729ml...round up to 0.73ml  (Amount of liquid to take for 2.916mg)

     20mg 

 

Hope this helps. K xo 💖

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RealMe

Made a 10% cut last night.  Having a difficult morning with lack of motivation, brain fog, strong sense of sadness.  Am I having a negative, reverse placebo effect from the cut?  Tinnitus is very difficult to deal with.  I found a tinnitus retraining therapist near me and went for initial consultations Monday and last night.  That may have caused some neuro-emotions.  I don't like being a "patient" or as they now say, a "client."  Not an empowering feeling for me.  I'm still too angry about the bum advice I've received from the medical community.  But I am desperate to learn how to deal with this tinnitus, and I've read that tinnitus retraining therapy has helped many people achieve habituation, the only reasonable goal since tinnitus cannot be cured.  It is difficult for me to figure out what is WD syndrome and what is tinnitus effect.  When the noise isn't too bad, I feel better; but maybe when I feel better, the noise isn't too bad.  I don't know.  I only know this is a tough day.  Maybe it will turn around.  I often feel worse in the mornings.

 

I'm going to take a walk.  Hope it helps. 

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RealMe

I was just thinking it has been about 10 months since I started coming off psychotropic drugs.  To say I am glad I found this site is certainly an understatement.  Looking back over my journals, I can see that it took me a few months to really get it that drugs could not help me and were only harming me.  I took it on faith and desperation that a slow taper is the only way up and out.  I broke away from the idea that I was helpless without the mental health professionals that were "treating" me with the ideas (1) that I had a chemical imbalance that could only be treated with chemicals (2) that I was helpless without prescribed chemicals (3) that I did not know what was good for me without the help of a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist and my regular physician.  I struggle with symptoms and sadness, but I am functioning.  The big picture is one of recovery and independent thought.

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