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RealMe: Fighting depression/withdrawal from Abilify, Trintellix now on Prozac

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RealMe

I hope to God this goes away.  It's obsessing and terrifying me.  Thank you for the hope and good sites.

 

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RealMe

Hi Petunia,

Did something situational happen in October to set off your symptoms again?  How are you now?  Were you getting a lot of sun from August till October?  Could a decrease in sunshine be affecting your symptoms?

 

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RealMe

I wish I could find some help with my morning symptoms.  It's so bad I dread going to sleep at night.  I wake up every day wishing I were dead.  Why is the depression so awful in the mornings?  It doesn't go away, but it's better at night.  Does anyone have any ideas for relief? It's later than I ever stay up, but I'm afraid to go to sleep.

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wantrelief

Hi RealMe (I like your name!),

 

I think a lot of us feel that way, knowing that when we go to sleep we are going to start another day just like the last.  I am impressed you have been going to the gym and even went to work - that is great and you should give yourself a lot of credit for doing those things.  I am in a different situation but have been experiencing a lot of depression too so understand how you have been feeling.  

 

We have to keep going getting through the days as best we can as it will change.  You are doing great!

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RealMe

Thank you, Wantrelief.  I appreciate your encouragement.  I had to stop exercising because after I got home from the gym, my tinnitus would be amped up. I need to find a gentler way to exercise.  I think it's so generous of you to take time to help me.  I see from your signature that you have been going through quite a struggle.  I will try again tomorrow.  I pray it is better.

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wantrelief

I am sorry the gym amped up the tinnitus. I have only been able to do short gentle walks - I really have to push myself to go but when I do, it has been nice to get the fresh air. You are so right....it has definitely be a very long struggle for me.  You did a good job turning down the Valium as I now have Klonopin to contend with as well....it is quite overwhelming.  I like what you said about trying again tomorrow - I feel like that is our job right now, just trying everyday to do what we can.  Hang in there, RealMe!

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baroquep

Hi wantrelief, thanks for stopping by my thread.  Unfortunately I can't attribute better stress tolerance to anything in particular except maybe reducing the decrease of Effexor from 10% to 5% every month and doing a longer hold after every two decreases.  I can only surmise that my central nervous system has been given the opportunity to heal and a lower % decrease has lessened the burden withdrawal places on it and can therefor bounce back a little easier.  If I can offer any advice, it would be to go slow and keep it simple as it's the only thing that's worked for me.    

Edited by baroquep

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RealMe

I don't know if feeling suicidal is due to my tinnitus or withdrawal or depression.  The tinnitus is driving me insane.

 

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RealMe

I have an appointment with the psychiatrist on Thursday.  I'm thinking of going just to get my fluoxetine prescription filled.  I'm trying to stabilize on 10 mg.  I hope I am not tempted to take anything he offers.  I don't think I will because everything I have taken rx from this doctor has left me with negative life altering side effects.  But I know that the hopelessness I feel is a danger.  The last time I saw him he offered me Valium for the tinnitus.  I turned it down, and he said I could call him if I changed my mind.  I can't handle another problem.  I don't know how long I can go on this way.  I'm also feeling hot and cold in turns.  Don't know what that's about.

 

 

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Siamese
On 25 oktober 2017 at 12:23 AM, RealMe said:

Tinnitus started about 2 1/2 weeks ago.  I don't know if it's a side effect or a withdrawal symptom.  Is there any help for this condition?  My doctor offered valium.  I don't need additional problems and so I refused.  He seems to have given up on me because I'm non-compliant.  He tried me on several different drugs after I stopped Abilify and Trintellix due to dystonia and tremors.  I stopped all but Prozac 10 mg.  Plan to stay on this for a few months then try to taper.  Any advice will be appreciated.  

I'm glad I read that recovery is not linear.  I seemed to be able to function ok yesterday, but today I was extremely depressed, dark thoughts, anxiety, hopelessness.  Hoping this is a wave and will be followed by a window.

 

Tinnitus hit me real bad in withdrawal, still is, but it's getting very, very, little less now

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baroquep

Hi Realme, I know that withdrawal can present a lot of challenges, particularly seeing as you have had to deal with quite a number of different drugs, causing further disruption to your already sensitized central nervous system.  I have a feeling that this is what has caused the tinnitus.  Quite a few members have had to deal with this troubling issue.  I've added a tag on the top-left corner under your username and if you click on it it will connect you with other members dealing with this problem and you might be able to find some help on how to help lessen this symptom by browsing through their threads.  Did you ever try the lipoflavinoids?  I'm really glad that you have decided not to try any additional drugs, particularly valium (or any form of benzodiazepine) as not only are they highly addictive, they can also cause rebound anxiety and interfere with you stabilizing on Prozac.  Do you feel that your symptoms have gotten even slightly better since starting the Prozac?  Is oversleeping, tinnitus and withdrawal depression the main symptoms you are dealing with now?  

 

I'm going to attach a few links that you might find helpful to manage the symptoms that you are currently dealing with.  

Tinnitus - What does all that noise mean?

Hypersomnia - Sleeping a lot

Depression vs Anxiety Cycles

Neuro Emotions

 

Am also going to attach a few links that you might want to have a look at to see if there is a technique that you can incorporate into your daily living that might help you manage some of the symptoms that you are experiencing.  I'm also going to attach a link that helped me tremendously when I was getting no relief from the symptoms.  It helped me to understand what was happening in my brain and allowed me to be a little more patient as I waited to stabilize.  As you've only been on Prozac since September, I realize it seems like a very long time, but because you made so many changes over the last year, it might take you a number of months to stabilize.  

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Brain Remodelling
Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

Edited by baroquep

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AliG

Hi RM. I can see that you're struggling at the moment but hopefully as you stabilize some of your W/D symptoms will lessen and give you some much needed relief. This process isn't linear and works in a windows and waves pattern. The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Tinnitus can be a withdrawal symptom and often tends to improve over time.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1736-tinnitus-what-does-all-that-noise-mean/

 

I have found depression which is a withdrawal symptom, also improves over time in a random pattern. The really dark morning depression lifted for me after a few months and has never returned. That is not to say, that I don't experience low moods but it's always transient and short term, so far. I'm hoping that will be the case for you. It's best if you have an action plan and can get moving in the mornings , instead of lying in bed, ruminating.

 

I see that Baroquep has posted to you, while I've been writing this and she has covered most of what I was also going to say to you. She has given you some pertinent links, well worth reading.

 

The other thing is, that I noticed on another thread, you mentioned getting Botox next week for your dystonia. I would encourage you to do your own research on this, as the risks are still unknown. Botox is a known neurotoxin and researchers have shown how it is transported via our nerves back to the Central Nervous System. In my opinion, it seems to be a risk not worth taking.

 

To date , it has generally been accepted as safe and yet it comes with a black box warning. Sound familiar?

 

In 2010, Allergan pleaded guilty and agreed to pay $ 600 million to resolve allegations that it unlawfully promoted Botox for conditions - including headaches, pain, spasticity and juvenile cerebral palsy - that at the time were not approved by the FDA.

 

In 2008, a researcher at the Italian National Research Council's Institute of Neuroscience in Pisa, published a controversial study showing that when he injected the muscles of rats with Botox, he found evidence of the drug in the brain stem. He also injected Botox into one side of the brain in mice and found that it spread to the opposite side. That suggested the toxin could access the nervous system and the brain.

 

Here are a few links :

http://time.com/magazine/us/4623396/january-16th-2017-vol-189-no-3-u-s/

 

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/04/150416094051.htm

 

 

There is even a Botox support community for those who have been damaged by the drug:  See link below :

https://www.google.com.au/search?safe=active&source=hp&ei=yk8KWsipMsTS8QW-k5XYDg&q=botox+support+community&oq=

 

 

I just wanted you to be aware of the possible dangers, so as to be able to make an informed decision on whether this is something that you want to pursue.

 

I hope this helps,

Ali

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RealMe

Oh, crap.  I've been looking forward to the botox treatments as a relief from the constant jerking and bobbing of my head.  Through an essential tremors support group, I've heard many success stories of botox for cervical dystonia and tremors.  I thought it would be a better alternative than the drugs I've been offered, propranolol, valium,  and primidone (sp?).  I could call the neurologist and cancel the botox injections.  It was the only thing I had to look forward to in this living hell.

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RealMe

Dear Siamese, How did your tinnitus improve?  Is there anything you can recommend?

 

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Siamese

Hi RealMe,

 

What helps me is keeping the airco in my bedroom going, even in wintertime. The noise calms me and keeps my mind off the tinnitus. I guess the nervous system is doing its work to restore and making all the noise in the ears. Now I'm only 6 day's off Lexapro and it's tough, but the tinnitus is slowly getting less, but it's still there, especially at nighttime. I hope you'll will find a way to deal with this cause it's very nasty.  I do take supplements, but I took them also before my life with Lexapro. The benzo withdrawal is also kicking in and we really should be proud of ourselves that we, at least, try to manage. 

I wish you all the best, keep up the good work!

Huggs

 

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Siamese
20 hours ago, RealMe said:

Oh, crap.  I've been looking forward to the botox treatments as a relief from the constant jerking and bobbing of my head.  Through an essential tremors support group, I've heard many success stories of botox for cervical dystonia and tremors.  I thought it would be a better alternative than the drugs I've been offered, propranolol, valium,  and primidone (sp?).  I could call the neurologist and cancel the botox injections.  It was the only thing I had to look forward to in this living hell.

Owowo, I do botox too, for relaxing cheek muscles, don't know if this hat hit my CNS. But I'm happy with it. Cheek problem due on Lexapro. It's covered by my insurance. No doctor told me AD could cause this. I can not give you any advise, but trust on your own self and intuition. It seems all drugs interact with AD, so imo it's try and error.

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RealMe

Today I had my first appointment with an audiologist and was fitted with trial hearing aids. The theory behind it is that the brain fills in the blanks with tinnitus when there is hearing loss.  I have to give it some time.  The audiologist never heard of a too high dose of Wellbutrin or bupropion (up to 300 mg. after one week on 150 mg.) causing tinnitus.  She said she is familiar only with antibiotics causing it.  She asked me if it is listed in the side effects.  I said I didn't know but heard lots about it on the internet.  I keep learning that my attitude is vital to eventual habituation of the constant ringing screeching in my brain.  And it's also vital to my AD, psychotropic drug and depression recovery.  I desperately need some peace.  At least I did something today and didn't sleep too much.

 

AliG, I hate to give up on the botox treatment for my cervical dystonia (caused by Abilify), but I think I should call the neurologist and at least postpone it until my cns improves.  I don't need any more chemical disturbances.  Thank you for the links and support you provided in your most welcome message.  I think it's wonderful that you are drug free since 2014; I can only aspire.  My main symptoms are (1) tinnitus (brain screaming), (2) anxiety, (3) over-sleeping, (4) depression and extreme desire to escape.  I read that the Abilify effects would probably be out of my system in 90 days which would have been November 8th.  I don't know the effects of all the other drugs I went on, some briefly, since I started withdrawal; but I hope that time will heal me.  

 

Baroquep, I'm taking Magnesium and Fish Oil. Fluoxetine 10 mg. and I have to admit I have been taking Lipo-flavinoids sporadically.  I'm pretty sure I should be more exact with taking them.  I thank you so much for your help and support.  I can't find the tag you told me about.  I felt much stronger today because I had specific tasks, like going to the audiologist and taking my granddaughter to piano lessons.  Tomorrow, I am going to try to substitute teach so that I can get my mind off my symptoms hopefully.  I need some peace.  I try not to think about it, but it's not possible so far.  I try not to be afraid of my symptoms or think that they will never end, but it is so hard.  This site and the support I'm getting here is giving me what little hope I can muster.

 

 

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RealMe

I had my consult with an audiologist. She fitted me with trial hearing aids to help with tinnitus, and they do help.  I hope the tinnitus disappears or that I learn to habituate.  I am still depressed and anxious with morbid thoughts at times.  Today I was thinking that I am probably on the melancholy or negative thinking side by nature, but it isn't something that should be medicated.  I'm just different, and I have to work harder at being positive or not depressed.  Mornings are better than they had been.

 

I cancelled my psychiatrist appointment because I firmly believe he can't help me.  I need him to keep prescribing my fluoxetine that I am stabilizing on, so I will have to see him before I need another refill.  I believe he had good intentions, but the medications he gave me caused hell.  I was foolish not to take more responsibility for taking them.  I blindly trusted, but now I know that no matter how much someone wants to help you relieve your symptoms, you are ultimately responsible for what you put into your body and brain.

 

I also cancelled my appointment with the neurologist for cervical botox treatments.  My tremors are worse lately, but I think that is because the tinnitus is not as aggravating as it was.  When one symptom calms down even slightly, other symptoms come more into consciousness.  Anyway, I don't want to have potential problems with botox while I am trying to stabilize.

 

I wonder what effect the propranolol I took for a couple of weeks for tremors and dystonia had on my WD.  I am lucky to be only on fluoxetine 10mg., vitamin D, Magnesium and Fish Oil.  It's a good feeling to be free of all the meds I was on.  I look forward to becoming drug free some day.

 

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RealMe
On 11/13/2017 at 7:46 PM, Siamese said:

Tinnitus hit me real bad in withdrawal, still is, but it's getting very, very, little less now

How are you doing?

 

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RealMe

I'm not ready yet, but what kind of scale do you use to weigh crushed prozac tablets for tapering?

 

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ChessieCat
On 15/11/2017 at 12:42 PM, RealMe said:

I can't find the tag you told me about.

 

I fixed up the drug tags to include drugs you are taking and have taken.  They are at the top left, underneath the title of the topic.

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RealMe

Sorry, ChessieCat, I can't figure out where the tags are or even what they are!  

 

Today I am back to horrible morning desire only to escape.  I spent the entire morning sleeping and surfing the internet, mostly reading posts on SA.  Symptoms are really bothersome tinnitus, tremors, depression, anxiety, and lack of motivation.  I can only hope that eventually I will habituate.

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wantrelief

Hi RealMe,

 

I really relate to the lack of motivation you are experiencing.  Once I wake up, I can't go back to sleep but it feels like that is what my body would like to do for most of the day.  I am finding it terribly difficult to do much at all....it is like my brain can't even think about what it would like to do - really an awful feeling.  Is that what you are experiencing too?  

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RealMe

Mine is an incredibly strong desire to escape. Yesterday I had a commitment to a 12 step group so that helped me function and socialize a little. Today I am substitute teaching which will again force me to function. Do u have anything you have to do?  That is apparently what I have to do to not sit and ruminate.  Any time alone is h---  thank u for communicating with me. It helps. 

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wantrelief

My recent "crash" was related to my work as it has not been a good situation for me so I made the decision to quit.  When I am feeling better I am going to need to figure out what I want to do next as I have decided the career I was in has not worked for me - it is much to stressful for me. So I am not working at the moment which has made this harder as I don't have many commitments. However, if I do have a appointment or something scheduled, I am usually able to make it. It sounds like your commitments are helping you so if you can, maybe schedule as much as you can if you feel you are able to do these things.  

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RealMe

You are so right that I need to schedule things. What kind of work do you do?

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wantrelief

Well, ironically, I worked as a women's health nurse practitioner so you would think I would have known more about these medications.  My journey into medication all started when I went back to school to become a nurse.  After graduating, I worked in a couple of very unsupportive environments and the work itself is very stressful, especially when you aren't feeling well yourself.  I have no idea what I'll do next but would like to try something  that is not in a clinical environment.  I also have become disheartened by medicine.  Before going back to school I worked in public health so maybe I'll look into jobs that are back in that area.  Right now I have no idea really, just trying to get through each day.  

 

 

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RealMe

I have a good friend who is a nurse practitioner, and she does home visits.  I can certainly understand the major stress of treating sick people without adequate support.  Hope you feel better soon.  I appreciated your response to me.

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wantrelief

Thanks, RealMe - I hope you feel better soon too!!

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RealMe

Happy Thanksgiving.  I'm having 16 people, my children, their spouses and my grandchildren (7); and I'm having a wave day. Heaven help me.  I got the turkey in, and I have to force myself to function without crying.  Sorry for the negativity.

 

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wantrelief

Happy Thanksgiving, RM.  Don't worry about being negative, that is a lot to deal with when you are feeling well, let alone when you aren't!  I hope once everyone is there, it provides a good distraction for you.  

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RealMe

Does anyone use a Fisher Wallace Stimulator for depression?

 

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RealMe
On 11/18/2017 at 4:12 PM, ChessieCat said:

 

I fixed up the drug tags to include drugs you are taking and have taken.  They are at the top left, underneath the title of the topic.

Dear Chessie Cat,  Please help me figure out what you mean by this.  I don't know what "the title of the topic" means or where to find it.  And I don't know how to find "drug tags."  Sorry for being so dense.

 

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RealMe

Dear Chessie Cat, I just figured out where the tags are!  Finally.

Thank you.

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