☼ RealMe: fighting depression/withdrawal from Abilify, Trintellix now on Prozac

[RealMe]

22 hours ago, JS11 said:

Hi RealMe,

 

The word "tinnutis" flashed out and I thought of something that I have been using.  I don't know if it will help you, but thought it might be worth a try.  If you have Amazon Prime, you can get these for free, if not, I think they are very inexpensive, a buck or maybe 2 each.  They are these things called binaural beats and there are also some under the title(s) BMV Quantum Subliminal Don't worry there is no actual beating.  Usually, it is ocean sounds although some do have bird noises, which aren't my favorite but there are many to choose from.  Some are also subliminal. These have become my recent favorite.  They have one for almost everything.  The reason I thought of you is that I just came across one of the BMV ones on Tinnitus.  I have been using all kinds of them.  They have Subliminal Joy and Happiness, always a plus when those dark thoughts come.  Subliminal Depression Aide, as I said everything.  Some are actually quite funny.  Won't put them here.  It's odd but they make my brain feel like it is tingling.  I'm not sure how they work, but I have played them over and over on my computer when things have gotten really bad.  Anything to relieve some of the feelings and thoughts. 

 

Anyhow, we haven't been introduced, so hello, but I just wanted you to know.  I get so desperate for relief that I will try most anything.  Maybe they might work for you.  I do hope so.

take care,

JS

Hi JS, Good to meet you.  I went on Amazon Prime and saw some CDs for 14.99.  I don't have a disc drive on my computer or a cd player, but maybe I will get one.  Can you give me a link so I can see exactly what you mean?

Looking at your signature, it seems you have been through quite a bit of bumbling psychiatry as have I!

Today I went to the library and took out William Glasser's Realty Therapy in Action.

 I hope to God I can habituate to this tinnitus.  I have to think positive, and the best I can come up with is that as desperate for death as I have been at times, I'm still here.

[Kristine]

Hi RealMe, I read that JanCarol (moderator) had ongoing tinnitus issues.  Maybe she would have some advice? K

[JS11]

1 hour ago, RealMe said:

Hi JS, Good to meet you.  I went on Amazon Prime and saw some CDs for 14.99.  I don't have a disc drive on my computer or a cd player, but maybe I will get one.  Can you give me a link so I can see exactly what you mean?

Looking at your signature, it seems you have been through quite a bit of bumbling psychiatry as have I!

Today I went to the library and took out William Glasser's Realty Therapy in Action.

 I hope to God I can habituate to this tinnitus.  I have to think positive, and the best I can come up with is that as desperate for death as I have been at times, I'm still here.

 Hi again Real Me, by the way, I like your name. 

 

I am not so good at giving links but I will look for something tomorrow.  If not, I'm sure I can find some child to help me navigate it.  And, you don't need a CD player as these can just be downloaded to your computer or even your phone.  I have mine on my computer.  Some of them are 10 minutes long and I play a variety whilst I am on this site.  I can feel little tingly sensations in my brain and on those truly horrible days, I cling the relief they provide.  

 

I have been lucky enough to only have experienced tinnitus briefly, but I know my friend, Scorpio, has been plagued with it too. I am so very sorry.  Bloody awful.   And I do so understand the death wish.  It's not dying I want, but an end to this suffering.  And, I too am still here.  So very glad you are as well.  

Let me know how you like Realty Therapy in Action.  Reading, beyond what is on this site, is just not happening for me.  My ability to concentrate is just not happening at present.

 

take good care,

more on the 'morrow.  

JS

[JS11]

Hello RealMe,

 

Okay, I have been locked out of my Amazon Account.  An email is being sent to Comcast, which is rejecting all Amazon email, and I am being relayed to those in the know who are located in Cape Town, South Africa.  So, it may be awhile but I am trying to get you some info.  

 

And when was the full mooon?

 

Hope that blasted tinnitus is giving you a break.

take care,

JS

[RealMe]

20 hours ago, JS11 said:

Hope that blasted tinnitus is giving you a break.

Yes, I am having a better day today.  I don't know why, but it is not as bad today as it has been.  I'm trying not to think about it or react emotionally.  Thank you for your post, dear JS.

[JS11]

2 hours ago, RealMe said:

Yes, I am having a better day today.  I don't know why, but it is not as bad today as it has been.  I'm trying not to think about it or react emotionally.  Thank you for your post, dear JS.

 

Oh so very glad, RM.  I had a hellatious day and haven't had a chance to combat my internet provider so I can get back on Amazon.  I"m sorry.  I hopefully will try again tomorrow.  

 

I do so hope that your tinnitus and any other nasty symptoms stay far away and you only have relief. 

take care,

JS

 

 

Quote

 

 

[RealMe]

1 hour ago, JS11 said:

I had a hellatious day

Hi JS,

So sorry you had a rough day.  I hope you are feeling better tonight.  Whenever you get a chance to get that info will be just fine.  I'm not going anywhere.  I'm reading William Glasser's Reality Therapy in Action.  Lots of good ideas, except he seems to trace the cause of most "symptoms" to troubled relationships.  I find that hard to believe entirely, but keeping an open mind.  He also talks about "choosing" symptoms instead of dealing with the difficult relationships.  I'm sure physical pain and medical problems lead to depression for different reasons, and he doesn't address the kind of acceptance needed in these cases.

I know your attention is very helpful to me.  Thank you for your kindness.

[wantrelief]

Hi RealMe,

 

I answered you on my thread but thought I'd write you here as well. I have spent my day distracting as well on the computer so we are in the same boat.  I spend way too much time on this website - it is one of the only things I can concentrate on.  I am really sorry you have had a rough day.  You should be proud of yourself for getting out for a walk despite how you were feeling - I know how hard it is to do that when you are feeling badly.  And I imagine it is pretty cold where you are so that is even more of an accomplishment!

 

I am hoping you have a better day tomorrow.

[JS11]

22 hours ago, RealMe said:

Hi JS,

So sorry you had a rough day.  I hope you are feeling better tonight.  Whenever you get a chance to get that info will be just fine.  I'm not going anywhere.  I'm reading William Glasser's Reality Therapy in Action.  Lots of good ideas, except he seems to trace the cause of most "symptoms" to troubled relationships.  I find that hard to believe entirely, but keeping an open mind.  He also talks about "choosing" symptoms instead of dealing with the difficult relationships.  I'm sure physical pain and medical problems lead to depression for different reasons, and he doesn't address the kind of acceptance needed in these cases.

I know your attention is very helpful to me.  Thank you for your kindness.

 

Oh goodness, it all sounds rather heavy to me.  Although I am open to new ideas, I'm just not certain my brain could wrap itself around that all at the present time.  I do think that the mind body connection is a truly powerful thing and have experienced it in my own life. Have you ever read any Louise Hay?  Her book, You Can Heal Your LIfe, talks about how different thoughts and feelings--if you will--manifest as different physical issues.  She also provides affirmations to assist in healing these things.  When I read through it the first time, I found it very "interesting" when I would go to a particular physical symptom I was experiencing and look at the purported cause.  Often, it was eerily accurate.  Admittedly, all very "woo-woo," but the book also gives concrete things to do.  Never know.

 

And, after a couple hours on the phone with various customer service representatives, I was finally able to access my Amazon account. I typed in Brainwave Mind Voyages, and several MP3's and Streaming ones popped up.  I have Prime and many are free.  The one on Subliminal Tinnitus Aid, has 3 choices.  One is subliminal, one ocean soundtrack and the third contains both of these.  The first two are 99 Cents each and the double album is $1.98.  There is one more, a CD, which I am not familiar with.  

 

I hope these might help you.  I am unable to access them on my phone at work, but immediately do so when I get home.  I was rather beside myself earlier fraught with dreadful anxiety and the Subliminal silent tracks, have helped ease some of the discomfort.

 

It seems you and WantRelief have had a day of it as well.  I hope the evening provides relief for you both.

 

take care,

JS

[RealMe]

27 minutes ago, JS11 said:

I hope these might help you.  I am unable to access them on my phone at work, but immediately do so when I get home.  I was rather beside myself earlier fraught with dreadful anxiety and the Subliminal silent tracks, have helped ease some of the discomfort.

Hooray.  I was able to access the subliminal tinnitus tape.  I'm going to try it.  Thank you, JS11!

Hope you have found some ease.

Best,

RealMe

[RealMe]

2 hours ago, wantrelief said:

Hi RealMe,

 

I answered you on my thread but thought I'd write you here as well. I have spent my day distracting as well on the computer so we are in the same boat.  I spend way too much time on this website - it is one of the only things I can concentrate on.  I am really sorry you have had a rough day.  You should be proud of yourself for getting out for a walk despite how you were feeling - I know how hard it is to do that when you are feeling badly.  And I imagine it is pretty cold where you are so that is even more of an accomplishment!

 

I am hoping you have a better day tomorrow.

Sometimes I get confused about which thread to write on.  Glad I found your post.  I also find there are times when this forum is the only place where I can concentrate.  I am grateful that I don't have trouble falling asleep although I do wake up a few times during the night and too early in the morning.  I wonder if that is why I sleep so much in the morning when everybody else is up and at em.  My granddaughters get here around 6:30, and my husband watches them until 7:30.  Then I get up, make breakfast, brush their hair, sometimes help with homework.  Then my husband takes them to school, and I go back to bed until at least 9:30 almost every day.  Maybe if I slept through the night, I wouldn't have to go back to bed; but I also sleep to escape my symptoms.

As far as walking, I am afraid to move lately in fear of ramping up the tinnitus.  I used to go to the gym, but not recently.

 Hope tomorrow is a window for both of us!

Best,

RealMe

[JS11]

1 hour ago, RealMe said:

Hooray.  I was able to access the subliminal tinnitus tape.  I'm going to try it.  Thank you, JS11!

Hope you have found some ease.

Best,

RealMe

 

Huzzah!  My favorite word from sophomore English which I still hold onto in times of the utmost celebration.  May they banish the dreaded ringing forevah!

take care,

JS

[RealMe]

Today I feel like I can appreciate the improvement in my symptoms since I first started here.  

Tinnitus - Godawful.  It makes me feel suicidal.  Now and then it's less bad, and that makes me hope I will habituate or it will go away.  I try not to think about it going away because I can't bear the thought of having my hopes dashed.

Dystonia & tremor -- I'm getting somewhat used to the dystonia in my neck and the tremor in my hands.  I am coping better with it, I guess.

Eye Twitching - still have this

SI - This is much, much better.  I do get into it, but it is focussed on tinnitus.  Before, it was constant and overwhelming all the time.

Brain Fog - I can actually read books.  I mainly read about recovery from depression and psychotropic drugs, but I also have been reading a book my friend is writing.  He must think I am the world's slowest reader; but if my tinnitus is ramped up, I can't read anything except this forum.

Appetite - seems normal.  I couldn't eat and was losing weight.

Sleep - Oversleeping due to fatigue and desire to escape.  This is still a problem, but seems a little better.

Anxiety - Still have it, gets triggered by the tinnitus and fears I won't be able to cope.

Stinging & numbness - sensations in my head and one thigh.

Dry/itchy Eyes

Tongue sensations - feels like my tongue has a tinny taste, that it's too big for my mouth so I keep accidentally biting it; excessive salivation. This is the opposite of the dry mouth I always had on ADs.

Hair - sounds minor, but my hair was totally dull and falling out like crazy.  It is still falling out but not as much, and it's shiny again--no joke.

Lethargy - I have the desire to exercise, but fear of ramping up the tinnitus keeps me sedentary.  Yesterday, I took a gentle walk in the sun, but last night was tough with tinnitus, so today I was sedentary again due to anxiety.

Hygiene - a little better, can't care about it enough or how I look.

Libido - a slight improvement

Crying - It was constant, side shaking sobbing. Now not so much.

Tomorrow I'm going to a new therapist.  I hope he will help with my goals.  I want to taper off ADs and become an undiagnosed person with strengths and weaknesses and differences that don't have to be medicated.  The woman I was seeing just told me to follow the doctor's orders.  I can no longer accept that thanks to this forum.  Wish me luck.  

 

 

 

 

 

[Rosetta]

That's wonderful, RealMe!  Any improvement is a reason for hope.  Good luck with the new therapist!

 

Peace,

Rosetta

[RealMe]

 

I went to a new therapist, and he said he had one suggestion for me:  "Stop reading everything you're reading."  And I can't do it.  Or if I go along with William Glasser's Theory of Choice Therapy, then I choose not to follow the suggestion.  I didn't get a chance to discuss exactly what I've been reading, and I'm not sure he is familiar with the authors Glenmullen, Breggin, and Glasser.  So I'm not sure he understands how much they are empowering me.  He says people have all different opinions, and they don't have enough studies to prove anything.  I said, that's my point; no one knows how the brain works on these meds, especially in withdrawal.  To be continued.  At least he was not resistant to the idea that I suffered as a result of taking ADs and an antipsychotic (Abilify) and furthermore by inept tapering.  That part (that he was not opposed to my goal or doubted my experience) is important to me.  I will see how the therapy proceeds, but I'm am firmly going by my guts.  SA is my main therapy, and it has been since October.  Nobody else was holding my hand through all of the horrible withdrawal symptoms.

 

Since I am only two weeks into my 10% taper and due to the long half life of fluoxetine, it's too early to tell about withdrawal symptoms from the taper.  I plan to hold on.

[RealMe]

19 hours ago, Rosetta said:

That's wonderful, RealMe!  Any improvement is a reason for hope.  Good luck with the new therapist!

 

Peace,

Rosetta

Thanks, Rosetta.  I hope you are feeling well.  How is your little girl?  She is lucky to have such a caring mom!

Best wishes for healing,

RealMe

[Rosetta]

Well, that therapist is at least not resistant to the idea that there is such a thing as inept tapering.   So, maybe you can get some therapy without the judgment.  I hope so.  

 

"They don't have enough studies to prove anything," and they never will because the drug companies pay for, hide, cherry pick and manipulate all the studies.  Never mind the fact that there are no long term studies on the use of these and none on the WD they cause.  Someday -- much too far in the future --it will be admitted that we have all been prescribed meds that were not safe and were not properly tested.

 

2 hours ago, RealMe said:

 

I went to a new therapist, and he said he had one suggestion for me:  "Stop reading everything you're reading."  . . . I didn't get a chance to discuss exactly what I've been reading, and I'm not sure he is familiar with the authors Glenmullen, Breggin, and Glasser.  So I'm not sure he understands how much they are empowering me.  He says people have all different opinions, and they don't have enough studies to prove anything.  I said, that's my point; no one knows how the brain works on these meds, especially in withdrawal.  

 

Here's a suggestion you can take or leave:  Don't try to discuss ADWD or Breggin or any of that with the therapist.  It's a waste of your money to do so imo.  Discuss how to stop emotional spirals, how to relax, how to avoid rumination.  I think you'll get a lot more help that way.

 

Thanks for asking about me.  I'm not doing well today, but I'm comparing how I feel now to Sept, Oct & Nov. This is nothing compared to that time.  The akathisia of my mind is so slight if it's even there at all.  I do wish I felt comfortable, but I know that will come to pass someday.

 

My little girl is doing fine, I hope.  She's having some anxiety these days.  I picked her up from school and played a version of PacMan with her on the iPad.  She was sad that I didn't go to gymnastics with her.  My husband took her. 

 

I'm having a wave; it's just not as severe as the waves before.  The parts of my brain and body that are supposed to tell me that everything is ok simply aren't working. I have become convinced that I need to avoid stress as much as possible.  Going to gymnastics would involve the freeway, the kids running around and yelling, the bright lights in my eyes on the trip home -- I decided to avoid all of that.  It have would been 45 minutes each way and going to dinner with my mother in law.  She's a nervous person.  

 

So, I'm alone at home.  I'm trying to be grateful that I can be alone now without being terrified.  That's something I used to wish for, and now it's here!  

[RealMe]

10 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Discuss how to stop emotional spirals, how to relax, how to avoid rumination.

Good suggestion!  This one I will definitely follow.  Thank you.  I just wanted to be sure right off the bat that he wouldn't try to push me back into the suffocating arms of psychopharma!

 

Rosetta, I have two grown up daughters.  Sometimes I can't believe we've made it this far.  I spent many years feeling guilty about the effects of my depression on them.  They both have problems, and I fight feeling responsible for them.  At best, I accept the idea that I was and am "good enough Mom."  Like you, if I played a game, instead of congratulating myself on that, I would concentrate on not going to gymnastics!  Good enough Mom would be happy with having played the game.  I have to keep asking myself if I want to be a happy good enough Mom or an unhappy not perfect Mom!  

 

The therapist asked me if I was having trouble with any important relationships, and the one I am dealing with is with my oldest daughter.  She had been very cold, flat and distant toward me for several months, and I asked her if she was on any medication.  She said, "no."  I said, "good, because I am having a very hard time getting off them.  They can be dangerous."  She said, "Well, you are the one who has always been the champion of ADs!"  I said, "Well, now I certainly regret it."  I was helping her with Christmas dinner, and I saw Celexa and Lorazapam with her name on them  in the cabinet.   I have felt awful about that ever since, thinking I must have set a dangerous example for her.  I haven't told her I saw the drugs in her cabinet and that I know she lied to me.  That is one emotional spiral I need to work on.

 

Best,

RealMe

 

 

 

 

[Rosetta]

That's true - an emotional spiral now won't help; in fact it will hurt you.  You can do more for yourself and your daughter if you stop the spiral.

 

Oh, I'm sorry that your daughter is taking Celexa.  We should be able to trust our doctors shouldn't we?  You could not have known they were dangerous years ago.  None of us knew except the people who were harmed and who also figured out why they were harmed.  So few.  I'm glad you saw the bottles and that you understand that her inability to express emotion does not mean her feelings have changed.  I always loved my husband, but my emotions were blunted.  I can see that now; I couldn't see that then.  Keep showing her love; she will remember that you did and that you always loved her.

 

We used to be able to trust doctors and the FDA.  I used to feel that Celexa saved my life, but now I feel that it and Zoloft almost killed me.  Maybe you can be there for your daughter in the way she needs you to be if the meds cause her problems.   How few people have a mother who understands AD WD!

 

My mom has been taking fluoxetine (I think that's Prozac) for about 1.5 years or so.  The doctor doubled her dose a few months ago.  I was very upset, but she never listens to me about anything even if she had previously asked my advice.  She certainly wouldn't listen to me over her doctor.  I really can't think about that right now.  I know it's going to be a problem in the future, but I can only think about today.  I'm glad I'll be well by then, and so will you.

[RealMe]

22 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I can only think about today.

Good thought, Rosetta.  Today is a bad tinnitus day.  If I think I will have to go through this again tomorrow, I will not make it.

[Kristine]

Hi RealMe,  Just stopping by to say I'm thinking of you 😊 My brain is not cooperating...can't think...absorb information..let alone remember what I have read.  So please forgive me if this post is...well...you know what I mean.  You have had a busy few days!  A new therapist...well, done for making the move.  I think it is important that the therapist is there is serve your needs not the other way round.  As long as you leave the appointments with more helpful resources and a sense of accomplishment.  

 

23 hours ago, RealMe said:

The therapist asked me if I was having trouble with any important relationships, and the one I am dealing with is with my oldest daughter.  She had been very cold, flat and distant toward me for several months, and I asked her if she was on any medication.  She said, "no."  I said, "good, because I am having a very hard time getting off them.  They can be dangerous."  She said, "Well, you are the one who has always been the champion of ADs!"  I said, "Well, now I certainly regret it."  I was helping her with Christmas dinner, and I saw Celexa and Lorazapam with her name on them  in the cabinet.   I have felt awful about that ever since, thinking I must have set a dangerous example for her.  I haven't told her I saw the drugs in her cabinet and that I know she lied to me.  That is one emotional spiral I need to work on.

Oh RealMe, this must have felt like your heart was ripped out 😞 This is not your fault, please try to remember this. You have the benefit of the knowledge you have gained on SA and elsewhere...maybe one day she will be willing to listen to you.  The timing just needs to be right I guess.  I think I read you mentioned 'guilt' before.  One of my biggest issues.  It's such an unhelpful, energy sucking emotion which leads to a cascade of harmful thought processes. If I find a solution to this one I'll let you know!!!

 

Take care RealMe...you are loved. K. 🌻

[RealMe]

1 minute ago, Kristine said:

Hi RealMe,  Just stopping by to say I'm thinking of you

 

Take care RealMe...you are loved. K. 🌻

Thank you, Kristine.  I can't concentrate.  Just trying to distract.  I appreciate you so much.

[Kristine]

Hi RealMe...I really like this video...maybe you will too...bit of distraction 😊

 

 

[Littlegrandma]

Hi RM

hi. I’m thinking of you. Hoping you get relief from tinnitus today!!!!

 

good video Kristine. 

 

xx Lg

 

 

[AliG]

Real Me ~

 

You seem to be feeling so much better and that's a good sign. I hope it keeps up. Just stay even ,for now.

 

Well done  ...

 

Thanks for dropping by my thread ~ I  really appreciate that.

 

Ali

Edited January 13, 2018 by AliG
spelling

[RealMe]

21 hours ago, Kristine said:

I really like this video...maybe you will too...bit of distraction

Thank you, Kristine.  I love it.  I watched it twice!  You are an angel.

[RealMe]

9 hours ago, AliG said:

Real Me ~

 

You seem to be feeling so much better and that's a good sign. I hope it keeps up. Just stay even ,for now.

 

Well done  ...

 

Thanks for dropping by my thread ~ I  really appreciate that.

 

Ali

Thank you, Ali.  You are such a good SA resource for me.  Hope all is well.

[RealMe]

12 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

Hi RM

hi. I’m thinking of you. Hoping you get relief from tinnitus today!!!!

Thank you for thinking of me, Littlegrandma.  I really appreciate you.  Hope you are doing well.

[ChessieCat]

24 minutes ago, RealMe said:

I made an appointment with my gp.  I hope he will prescribe liquid prozac so I can continue my slow taper.  I have enough to last till my appointment on February 6th.  I don't know how much he understands,

 

Not sure if you have seen these discussions:

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

[RealMe]

20 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Not sure if you have seen these discussions:

 

How do you talk to a doctor about tapering and withdrawal?

What should I expect from my doctor about withdrawal symptoms?

Thank you, ChessieCat.  Yes, I have, but good to revisit and will read again before my appointment.

[Rosetta]

Good luck with the GP!

 

Rosetta

[Gussy]

On 12/01/2018 at 11:48 AM, Rosetta said:

Well, that therapist is at least not resistant to the idea that there is such a thing as inept tapering.   So, maybe you can get some therapy without the judgment.  I hope so.  

 

"They don't have enough studies to prove anything," and they never will because the drug companies pay for, hide, cherry pick and manipulate all the studies.  Never mind the fact that there are no long term studies on the use of these and none on the WD they cause.  Someday -- much too far in the future --it will be admitted that we have all been prescribed meds that were not safe and were not properly tested.

 

 

Here's a suggestion you can take or leave:  Don't try to discuss ADWD or Breggin or any of that with the therapist.  It's a waste of your money to do so imo.  Discuss how to stop emotional spirals, how to relax, how to avoid rumination.  I think you'll get a lot more help that way.

 

Thanks for asking about me.  I'm not doing well today, but I'm comparing how I feel now to Sept, Oct & Nov. This is nothing compared to that time.  The akathisia of my mind is so slight if it's even there at all.  I do wish I felt comfortable, but I know that will come to pass someday.

 

My little girl is doing fine, I hope.  She's having some anxiety these days.  I picked her up from school and played a version of PacMan with her on the iPad.  She was sad that I didn't go to gymnastics with her.  My husband took her. 

 

I'm having a wave; it's just not as severe as the waves before.  The parts of my brain and body that are supposed to tell me that everything is ok simply aren't working. I have become convinced that I need to avoid stress as much as possible.  Going to gymnastics would involve the freeway, the kids running around and yelling, the bright lights in my eyes on the trip home -- I decided to avoid all of that.  It have would been 45 minutes each way and going to dinner with my mother in law.  She's a nervous person.  

 

So, I'm alone at home.  I'm trying to be grateful that I can be alone now without being terrified.  That's something I used to wish for, and now it's here!  

Rosetta, just reading through some people's experiences and i saw you talking about avoiding things you know will make it worse, bright lights and noise. People i've told about this find it hard to believe(i bet you have people the same too), i can tell from this you're not in a good place but want you to know i gained something from reading your post. That stuff doesn't bother me as much as it used to(it used to make teers stream down my face), it still does but not as bad. I know i wasn't making this up thanks to you. I've been off effexor for 9 months now after too quick a taper. Thanks for your post and i hope your suffering eases sooner rather than later. Gus.

[RealMe]

Just recording my progress.  Bad wave.

Oversleeping

fatigue

ringing in head

SI

Hopeless

No motivation

Poor concentration

Tremor in hands

Dystonia/neck/head

Guilt over what I have done to myself, falling for snake oil salesmen

Anger at mental health people, especially psychiatrists

[Rosetta]

11 hours ago, Gussy said:

 i saw you talking about avoiding things you know will make it worse, bright lights and noise. Gus.

 

Yes, it has to do with a lack of neurotransmitters (or their ability to operate due the environment in the brain or body) that screen out stimuli.  Our brains are supposed to be able to tone down our responses to stimuli.  I often want to deck the guy with the leaf blower.  I suppose many people do, but not to the same degree that I do.  Glad I validated your experience.  It's real.  It mean you healed that part that lets the right neurotransmitters be produced and the parts that help them work.  That's great!

 

RealMe,

 

Hi there.  I'm sorry you are in a bad wave.  There's an idea that waves are times when healing is happening the most.  Could be.  Any day now that ringing could ease up or be gone.  Do what you can to allow more healing to occur.  Maybe that's why you are sleeping "too much."  Take it easy on yourself the way you would on a friend who was struggling.  Tell yourself the same things you would tell her.  The is no reason for guilt.  You could not have known.  Ok, your anger at the docs is legitimate, but does it hurt you more than help you?  Are you turning it against yourself?  You can't make them pay, but what if you stop making yourself pay with guilt?   Why should you pay if they don't?  Be kind to yourself, RealMe.  You are worth it.

 

Rosetta

[samanthaelizabeth]

me too, even regular doctors to a degree!

[Downbutnotout]

1 hour ago, RealMe said:

Just recording my progress.  Bad wave.

Oversleeping

fatigue

ringing in head

SI

Hopeless

No motivation

Poor concentration

Tremor in hands

Dystonia/neck/head

Guilt over what I have done to myself, falling for snake oil salesmen

Anger at mental health people, especially psychiatrists

‘I’ve been reading your posts. You reallly have showed a lot of strength. To tell you the truth, your posts have inspired me. The fact that you’re taking care of your grandchild, going out and reading books, having the strength to tell your psychiatrist to get lost, And you’re dealing with your physical symptoms with acceptance and determination. I’m 67, so we could easily be friends. As for the guilt, we all probably share that. And we are all angry.  We were just going for help. But that’s not what we received. Just the opposite. 

 

I’m also on this website too much looking for people to inspire me. I am nervous about the little bit of drugs I’m on, and the state of my poor little brain. I was 20 years on this stuff, and I’m sure any “professional” would tell me its too late to be off of it. 

 

My life seemed so perfect 8 months ago before all this happened. I don’t know how I’m going to get back there. But the psychiatrists promise to get me there is not going to happen. I just have to be like you. 

 

I really hope your feeling better by now. I’m on your side. I am.