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Waterfall: Introduction

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Rabe

Hi WF...its RABE not Rosetta...but either is fine. ;) 

I just meant that in spite of all you are dealing with you still get out, do chores, play with your kids, you accomplish lots 

in the midst of such oppressive symptoms...do well doing in spite of the way you feel, which I know is NOT well often! :( 

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Waterfall
1 hour ago, Rabe said:

Hi WF...its RABE not Rosetta...but either is fine. ;) 

 

Oh, duh.  I'm sorry, Rabe.  

You know,  R.  And R.  Can't blame my brain too much. 

I tried a few brain dead things today.

Can't even remember what they were. 

Only that they made me feel like my brain wasn't working.   😜

 

So, thanks, Rabe. 

Thank you for ALL your comments. 

Even the one I attribute to other people. 

I hope you are doing well.   

 

Just braving a wave of nausea right now. 

And supposed to go help get ready for supper. 

It's a little on the late side, so maybe that's why I'm nauseated. 

Who knows?  
Does it always make sense? 

Probably not. 

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Rabe

No need to say sorry...I Totally understand...the other day I was not he computer and suddenly could not figure out how to get an exclamation point!!  :( Nothing makes sense to me...I bless these moderators and others because I can't make hide nor hare of it all and my mind and body are so off that Im sure most of the time I make no sense at all...but somehow they manage to make some sense of it!  Take care!!

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Waterfall

@Rabe  

I'm glad you figured out the exclamation point again.  😉

 

Lucky me, I get another new symptom today!

First I had the sweating this morning. 

Eye tick... that comes a goes. 

Then I had the tick/spasm in my scalp. 

Had that years ago, but I've only had it once or twice recently, 

and it was -really- bothering me at suppertime. 

Now... drum roll.... 

... new symptom!

I went to sit down to relax before bed.  

And suddenly my whole spine feels hot.  

Okay, maybe warm?  

I dunno.  

It feels really weird. 

Never had that before.  

Isn't life... interesting?!  

Hooooo boy.  

Trying to accept and relax, so I can get to sleep tonight.  

 

Here's hoping you've had a better day, Rabe. 

We can't fix each other, but we can walk together. 

So, thanks for walking with me.  👣

(Isn't that cute?  It's footprints, like walking together, but it looks almost like a heart...

    It made me smile.  Here's hoping it'll make you smile too.)  

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Rabe

oh thank you waterfall!  Love them!  Sorry about new symptoms.  I'm not much surprised anymore.  My boiling bladder is SO SO painful and my chest feels on fire SO painful as well...the others are more manageable.  Just challenging but grateful to have gotten out in the sun, for the birds at my feeder, for finding the cell phone I lost in the grocery DAH..that the horrible accident I saw was not fatal, that I can type tonight without forgetting what I am doing....

But there still are times when I wonder why I am here and how I will become someone others respect and love again.  Hope you sleep well!

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Waterfall
2 minutes ago, Rabe said:

Hope you sleep well!

 

Thanks, you too!

 

Thank you for the reminder to be grateful for all that I do have, 

and not to be surprised by strange symptoms.  Our brains can do some straaaange things, eh?  

 

If only we could just pick and choose only the more manageable ones, eh?  

Oh, wouldn't that be nice.  

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Waterfall

More anxious today.

Very bad chest pain.

Hard not to wonder if it IS something.

Ulcer?  Is it intestinal?  

Gas?  

I don't know. 

I just wish I could do something about it. 

 

Weather is conducive to having windows open today. 

Trying to air out some of the carpet/paint fumes, in the hopes that will help. 

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Rabe

Hi Waterfall....having a pretty awful day today...sorry slow in responding.  Had good day yesterday and did a lot thank goodness.  Today is kidney med day and it seems to set me on my ear harder as time passes.  Hope your day goes well!!!

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Waterfall

Wow.  If I felt a bit better yesterday, I feel worse today.

Chest pain is really bad today.

Anxiety is higher than usual.

Brain was pretty clear yesterday, but not today.

Feel like I'm half asleep all day.

Nausea is a little better today, though... so far. 

Silver linings... silver linings.  

 

Still managed to vacuum.  

Not sure how... felt awful. 

But I managed. 

Feel a little bit better, actually. 

Probably because I'm not longer worrying about getting it done.  

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Waterfall

Oh, hi Rabe!  

Didn't see your message there at first.  

I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough day today too.  

Maybe it's because you were busy yesterday?  

So frustrating when that's true. 

Makes us afraid to get anything done.  

 

Hopefully it gets better for both of us!

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Waterfall

Bleh.

So much for feeling better after vacuuming.  

Stood up again.

Feeling very unsteady and weak.  

Oh bother.  

 

I've even had a few quieter days!

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Waterfall

🎶  You'll have an awful day,

and I'll have an awful day, 

We'll have awful days toge-ether!

You'll have an awful day, 

and I'll have an awful day, 

in warm or wintry we-eather! 🎶

 

I'm having one of those, "I wish I could just quit" moments. 

My eyelid is twitching. 

I keep almost bursting into tears. 

I feel like I can hardly stand.  

And I can hardly sit still.  

My feet are half numb. 

My fingers tingling. 

My chest pain has improved some, but it's still there. 

A bit of a headache.  

Oh, so wobbly, unsteady, dizzy. 

Weak.  

Frustrated.  

Waves of anxiety and/or panic.  

My arms just ache.  

So do my legs.  

Hmm... I think I'm jittery right now.  

 

Looking for the next rainbow. 

This storm is getting to me. 

Looking for the ne-ext rainbow. 

Looking for any light that I can see!

 

The night grows dark and darker. 

Is it really darkest before the dawn?  

I hope it will be light soon. 

I wonder how long this can go on!

 

Somebody please come cheer me up.  🙄

 

 

 

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Waterfall

Feeling a bit better right now.. 

... probably because I'm rocking in my chair. 

 

So hard not to get really discouraged.  

I hope you are all having a more cheerful day today than me!  

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Rosetta

Cheer you up?  You hope a group of people in AD withdrawal can cheer you up?  You've come to the right place!!!

 

Why did the piece of toast go to the doctor?  Because he was feeling really crummy.

 

Why wouldn't the crab share his sweets? Because he was a little shellfish.

 

Have your heard about the restaurant on the moon?  The food is good but there is no atmosphere.

 

Why did the toilet paper roll down hill?  To get to the bottom.

 

 

 

 

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Waterfall

@Rosetta   😄

 

Okay, I still feel lousy, 

but those were hilarious.  

Thank you, Rosetta.  

 

Hoping you've had a better day. 

And that I get a better one tomorrow!

Don't see much hope for this day anymore... 

But who knows, maybe I'll feel GREAT this evening.  

😄 

Okay, not likely.  But you never know!

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Waterfall

@Rosetta

I don't know if you know it, but you are amazing Rosetta.

I hope I sound half as positive as you do.

 

What do -you- do to relax when things are at their toughest?  

 

Sometimes I wish it was easier to cry. 

I always feel better after I cry, 

but I have to feel -really- bad, before the tears will come. 

 

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Rabe

Those ARE hysterical Rosetta!  Thank you!!!  How was your day?

 

Hi Waterfall...I just find it hard sometimes to do anything to relax...most times works but today I was just so tired at same time

that I found it difficult.

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Rosetta

I can't make myself relax.  If I'm relaxed its because I just happen to be less anxious.  There are things that seem to make me more anxious, but I don't know of anything I can do to relax when I'm really wound up.  I continue to try anyway.  I take an Epsom salt bath hoping that it will help in a few hours or over time or I warm up my shoulder wrap.  Then, I watch a show to distract instead.  Sometimes if I happen to cry because I saw something sad or read something sad then I may become relaxed.  I don't go looking for those things because it's a very strong emotional pain that is required to make me cry.

 

 

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Waterfall
7 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I can't make myself relax.

 

Well, I'm glad to know, that at least, in this place, I'm normal. 😜

Never had a group like this that I 'fit' in before.

Always, growing up, and that was with 'normal' anxiety and depression, before WD, I thought I was the only one so strange.

 

I still think you're amazing for all the encouragement you offer, considering how much you struggle too.

 

I don't go searching for ways to cry either, the anguish I'd have to cause myself would not be worth it.

I wish I'd just, cry.  Right now.  And feel a bit better.

I wish I could just do something, anything, and feel a bit better.

Oh, to feel like I used to.

May a day like that someday come again.

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Rabe

When have days like this it is hard to believe something better is there.  SO off today!  Feel like my electrolytes are off...head is so hot and just the weirdest feeling Ive ever had...cant even describe it.  Night Rosetta and Waterfall.  Sleep well.  Waterfall...how do you do the @waterfall etc?

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Waterfall

@Rabe  I asked Rosetta the same thing before.

You type "@" and then start the name and a list will appear.

In my case, if you type 'wat' then my name will be on the list.

Then you click my name, and you will get a little box with my name in it, that tags me.  

Make sense?  

For you, I only have to type @r , and while the list is long, your name is already on it. 

Of course, I can also type your whole name @rabe and then your name is the only one on the list. 

For Rosetta, I have to type almost her whole name, before I can see it on the list at all.  

And, as you can see, if I type it, but don't click the name from the list, it just stays normal text. 

I hope that helps. 

 

I also hope you feel better soon!  

I always dislike it a lot when I feel something I've never felt before. 

And it sounds like you are having a particularly rough time today. 

I really hope tomorrow is better.  

Thinking of you a lot today, Rabe.  

Oh, and I'm here beside you, to remind you that better IS out there. 

We've had waves before.  And windows.  If you've had a window, 

you can have another!  If you have another, they will get more 

frequent, and someday, there will be only window!

This is just a rough patch on the road. 

 

I hope it's better for me tomorrow too. 

I did start feeling a bit better.  Less shaky and anxious. 

And then I had a horrible twinge/twisting feeling in my chest, 

and it hurt worse than ever for a while. 

It did improve a bit again, but as it did it hurt worse in my side, 

and my shoulder, and my back.  

Oh, I wish this pain would go away. 

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Waterfall

@Rabe

I was just rereading your post, 

and it reminded me of yesterday. 

When it felt like my whole spine was suddenly very warm. 

Almost hot.  But not burning, just... very warm.  

It was a very strange feeling that I had never had before. 

Not fun. 

I hope your strange feeling passes. 

And that you'll feel better tomorrow.  

Oh, I wish I could make it happen, by the power of my hoping!

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Carmie
1 hour ago, Waterfall said:

 

Well, I'm glad to know, that at least, in this place, I'm normal. 😜

Never had a group like this that I 'fit' in before.

Always, growing up, and that was with 'normal' anxiety and depression, beforWD, I thought I was the only one so strange.

 

I still think you're amazing for all the encouragement you offer, considering how much you struggle too.

 

I don't go searching for ways to cry either, the anguish I'd have to cause myself would not be worth it.

I wish I'd just, cry.  Right now.  And feel a bit better.

I wish I could just do something, anything, and feel a bit better.

Oh, to feel like I used to.

May a day like that someday come again.

 

Yep, we’re all normal here. No one else knows what it feels like going through withdrawals unless they’ve been through it themselves.

 

I didn’t suffer anxiety before except a little from the CFS but nothing major. As long as I didn’t push myself I was fine.  Chronic pain put me on a downward spiral of these dreaded meds. 

 

Im sorry you’ve suffered anxiety while growing up Waterfall. 

 

Sending you hugs 🤗

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Waterfall

Sigh.  

Another rough day. 

Reading others posts, I keep telling myself I need to start a proper journal, 

but so far posting regularly about how I feel is as good as I've gotten. 

 

Woke up during the night because my knee hurt badly. 

My stomach was rumbling and I had bad gas pains. 

 

This morning I didn't do too badly. 

Didn't feel great, but I got my essential housework done. 

My sister-in-law even stopped by for a visit, and that went well too. 

 

This afternoon, I'm a bit of a mess. 

I've got a twitch in scalp on the back side of my head, that really bothers me, 

even though I know it shouldn't.  It's just a twitch.  

I'm also really shaky today.  Shaking.  Trembling.  I'm not always sure which is which.  

Struggling with dizziness and lack of balance.  

Chest pain is a bit better today, so is nausea, but they are still there. 

Ate my lunch a little late.  Was -really- shaky then.  

Right now I feel cold, and crampy.  

My anxiety is pretty high right now.  

Struggling with my vision some.  

Tried to read a book, but 

 

I hope relaxing for a few minutes helps, because I have to make the bus run soon. 

And then my husband wants to run to the paint store again.  

We can't make up our mind on paint colours, which is adding to my stress.  

 

I'm afraid that I'm too busy, and stressed, and things will just keep getting worse. 

I'm afraid that one of these days I'm just not going to be able to do what I need to do.  

 

I can't wait until all this moving stress is done.  

There's still so much work to do.  

 

Oh, how do I survive all this?  

 

I haven't even changed any medication in months.  

I'd say 'Why don't I feel better?' except that I answered my own question, 

without realizing it, 

by telling DaveB the answer the other day.  

It's because my system has been through a lot. 

So it's going to take a long time to recover from all that.  

I just wonder if I'm helping the process, or hurting it.  

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Waterfall

Tired of feeling weak, trembly, and shaky.

Muscles very tense and twitchy this evening.  

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Waterfall

A window!  A window!  

I think this is a window!

 

This morning, I so wanted to quit. 

I just couldn't imagine struggling that hard anymore. 

First few hours were just horrible. 

Could barely move or see straight.  

 

But I think this is a window!

I got moving.  Felt like lead. 

And then... a window!!!!

 

Could I sound any more excited!?

 

I know it will come crashing back again at some point. 

And I'll struggle again. 

Oh, but a window is so wonderful!

My eye still twitches. 

My side still hurts, 

but the world is just a little brighter right now. 

A little more manageable.

  

Oh, to live in a window!

What a blissful thought!  

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Rosetta

How wonderful!

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Rabe

Im so happy you had a window to look through Waterfall!!!!  SO happy!!!

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Waterfall

Well.  It didn't last long.  

I got up from typing the message, and thought... aw, I think it's fading already.  

My glimpse at something a little more normal. 

I'm glad that I documented it!

 

Had a tough afternoon and evening.  

 

Now, the last couple days I've had a building toothache.  

Not fun. 

I was hoping it would go away on it's own. 

Yeah... I know, not likely. 

But I was hoping.  

 

So, kinda urgent question here:

I know I sorta asked it before, 

but if I have to go to the dentist, 

and I go see a sleep/sedation dentist, 

because regular freezing doesn't work on me, 

but if I use the sedation, will that throw me off even more? 

Will that make everything even worse? 

Do I even have any other choice?  

Is there anything I can do to mitigate the damage?  

 

On top of that, I'm worried, because it seems like any injury I have right now, 

take extra super long to heal.  

Even a little cut or bruise seems to take a lot longer to heal that usual. 

Now, it's possible that this is my imagination. 

Or that it seems to hurt for a lot longer, just because I'm oversensitive, 

and over-focused, on the pain, which then seems to last longer.  

 

Will it help if find out which sedation med is used? 
Will that make any difference?  

 

This tooth is killing me.  

Okay... not quite, 

but it hurts a lot, 

and I'd rather NOT let it kill me.  😜

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Rosetta

What is wrong my with the tooth?  Do you know?  (Yes, sedation will probably cause serious problems.)

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Waterfall
1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

What is wrong my with the tooth?  Do you know?

 

No.  I don't know.  Presumably a cavity or something.  

I only know that it really hurts.  A bad toothache.  

I know from last year already that I still have two wisdom teeth to come out. 

And several cavities that needed filling.  

Last year, I had all my top teeth done, and the top two wisdom teeth out. 

In the last couple weeks I've had some pain by my one wisdom tooth. 

I thought it had gone away. 

But now, my whole lower left side hurts badly.  

Not even sure which tooth it is. 

But it's that kind of strange pain that makes it hard to think.  

It feels, well... like a toothache. 

It didn't seem bothered when I chewed carrots in the last couple days.

But it flared very badly when I ate a piece of apple this morning. 

After I rinsed my mouth with water, it got a bit better,

and since I haven't chewed on that side again, it's subsided some since then.

 

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

(Yes, sedation will probably cause serious problems.)

 

Oh no.  Then what will I do?  

 

 

I just spent the last couple hours dozing,

because I couldn't keep my eyes open if I wanted to.  

I've had it before, but not for a while.  

 

Somewhere in the middle, after dozing and waking up several times, 

my body suddenly jerked and woke me up.  

This is the third time I've had that now. 

Thankfully I still managed to doze off again afterwards.  

It actually helped me not to worry about it, because I'd 

read that you have had that before as well, Rosetta. 

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Rosetta

You can have a non-adrenaline numbing agent at the dentist.  If it takes too long for the filling, the dentist may have to numb it twice because the non-adrenaline kind wears off faster.  I would not have wisdom teeth out while you are in withdrawal if there is any way you can avoid it.  Sorry, that's what I've learned on SA.  I'm sure there are people who can handle it, but I wouldn't want to risks it.  -- Rosetta

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Waterfall

Well.  Not looking forward to any kind of interaction with the dentist. 

Thankfully my tooth is hurting less. 

It no longer bothers me when I am not eating.  

As long as I am not chewing with it. 

 

Had a better day than I expect so far.  

But still pretty tough. 

Woke up feeling quite anxious this morning.  

Still managed to go to church twice.  

By which I surprised myself. 

But it was definitely harder to do that usual. 

For when I go, I mean. 

Last week, I didn't go at all.  

 

This afternoon, I suddenly developed a sore tongue.  Again. 

This is the... third? time I have had this.  

I had it when my son was born 3 years ago.  

Then the naturopath told me was a vit. B deficiency.  

It only seemed to happen when I ate certain foods.

One that I remember, was spelt.  

At that same time, the corners of my mouth also hurt.  

It eventually went away (while I was taking vit. B, which may or may not be a coincidence). 

 

It happened again out of the blue when my in-laws were here.  

Tuesday, March 27th, I recall.  

I woke up with it hurting really badly. 

Went to the doctor, and he told me it was geographic tongue.  

It went away again after a few days. 

 

Aaaand showed up again this afternoon.  

Out of the blue again.  

Hurt even worse after I ate a few pieces of apple.  

Not sure if anything else I ate after that made a difference. 

I only know at this point that it really hurts.  

Only on the side of my tongue where I have been eating.

I haven't been using the other side, since that is where my tooth hurts. 

And it still hurts if put pressure on it.  

 

There's been a book that I've been wanting to read, 

and I finally plucked up the courage to read it this afternoon. 

The only problem is, if I start reading a book, I get so into it, 

that I have a really hard time breaking away from it, until I am done it. 

 

I have no idea if it was because of the book, 

but I had unusually high anxiety when I went to sit with my family for supper. 

Thankfully, I kept my head, and while it was really hard, 

I managed to weather through it.  

 

I've also struggled with focusing my eyes today. 

With knee pain. 

With burping. 

Some shortness of breath. 

And with some chest pain, but not as bad as it has been before.  

Briefly I also had a headache, around 4-4:30, but it didn't last long. 

Nausea flared briefly around 10:00 this morning. 

 

Ate one slice of toast with egg for breakfast. 

Had soup and crackers for lunch. 

Afternoon snack was some apple slices, and a few tostitos corn chips.  

Supper was brown toast with a hamburger.  Small amount of mayo and ketchup. 

Also a small bowl of coconut yogurt.  

Was supposed to have salad, but I didn't get that far. 

I ate my toast and burger so slowly because my tongue hurt. 

Hope to eat some salad yet before bed.  

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Rabe

Hi Waterfall!  Geographic tongue??  Sounds college like...complicated.  I am SO sorry.  That would make eating and talking hard.  Hoping it has improved!!!  Thinking about you!

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Carmie

Hi Waterfall, 

Im so sorry to hear about your burning tongue, it must be hard to eat. Hope it settles soon. 

 

Last year I had a burning mouth for a month or two but it settled. I only realised later on that it was withdrawals. We get the weirdest symptoms with withdrawals.

 

I’m glad you managed to weather through family supper. When we’re in waves it’s hard being around people. I’m good at putting on a front by now. 😀

 

Thinking of you and sending hugs🤗

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Rabe

Have things improved Waterfall?  Thought about you all day!  I hope so!  

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