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JustCallMeJane
1 hour ago, Kristine said:

Hi Jane 😊 Somehow I missed your post 😕 I was in the middle of a wave.  Yes, pavlova is so yum *drools* .... don't know if I'll have the energy to make one this year.  I don't think I've read your intro... I'll drop by soon. K 

 

No worries hun. Depending on my WDS, I have little to no patience for reading, so I scan and can easily miss things when I do. I'm hoping to get some baking done today and tomorrow, assuming I can get some more sleep in a bit. I understand the wave, as I'm currently hanging 10. :P

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Altostrata

Kristine, how are you feeling from your dexamphatamine decrease?

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Kristine

Hi Alto,  Thank you for asking.  I'm doing ok. No new symptoms to report.  Just the usual waves I've been experiencing for over two years now.  I'm going to hold for at least three weeks.  

Best Wishes and I'm hoping you have the opportunity for some holiday relaxation. K

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Marmot

Hey Kristine,

 

Still surfing those waves down in Australia? Sorry to hear that you had to miss out on a social gathering. I thought I saw you write something like that on another person's thread. Are you managing to catch any pleasant moments this holiday season?

 

Cheers,

Marmot

 

 

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Kristine

Hey Marmot,

Yes, I'm surfing those waves but I'm falling off the surfboard frequently!  I'm getting used to missing out on social gatherings. Previously I would put on a brave face, pretend to be ok and then suffer the consequence. It was just too exhausting.  I have learnt the value on saying "no".  Self preservation is critical. Also I don't keep my situation a secret anymore.  Most people in my life know and I refuse to apologise anymore for my aliments.. Some people have run for the hills, but I'm glad they did. I don't want them in my life anyway.  Yes, I have had some windows this holiday season 🙂 How about you? I was sorry to read your reaction to the mulled wine (think I read this on your thread). Very wise to avoid it. I have a glass of wine every night with dinner. I don't feel like I have an adverse reaction but I know the advice on this forum is to avoid alcohol altogether.  At this point I'm not changing this routine...I'll see 🙄 K

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JustCallMeJane

Hi Kristine, Hope your day was uneventful. We're actually experiencing horribly high winds at the moment. But aside from that, my day was one of my best so far. I've put the surfboard aside, and am enjoying the view, however windy it may be, from my window :)

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Kristine

Hey there Jane, Thank you for stopping bye ☺️ yes, Christmas was uneventful, thank god! High winds aren't much fun.... my dog and cats get a bit hyper when it's windy. You on the coast line? Hopefully that's your view.  So happy to hear you are able to enjoy it 😃 Cheers. K 

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JustCallMeJane
9 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Hey there Jane, Thank you for stopping bye ☺️ yes, Christmas was uneventful, thank god! High winds aren't much fun.... my dog and cats get a bit hyper when it's windy. You on the coast line? Hopefully that's your view.  So happy to hear you are able to enjoy it 😃 Cheers. K 

 

Good to hear! Technically we're more central Nova Scotia, so our power only flickered. Those on the coast had their power go out as early as 2 pm. Some of the power is coming back, but there's still something like 75k homes without power.  No fun at all, but we were warned about this storm several days ago. Like the Boyscouts say "always be prepared".

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Kristine

Wow! glad to here the storm didn't hit you to hard. Just keep those candles and torches handy! K

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Kristine

Hi All, Just wondering if anyone has any advice to alleviate muscular ache and pain. It just keeps getting worse, especially over the past 6 weeks. I've considered massage but I'm not sure if I could tolerate it, I'm afraid massage my may aggravate it. I started taking magnesium about 1 week ago, which I think has helped with other symptoms, such as headache and brain zaps. K. 

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JustCallMeJane

Hi Kristine, I get horrible restless leg syndrome. I use magnesium to tame it, but it hasn't made it go away. From my understanding, it also depends on the kind of magnesium you use. I believe it's magnesium citrate, 250 to 500 mg, I think. 

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Kristine

Thank you for responding Jane,  I started magnesium 150mg about i week ago (it is magnesium citrate). Also commenced fish oil today. I've got RLS as well but it has improved a little. The muscle pain is pretty severe and the fatigue has ramped up another 100 notches. I don't think the holiday season helps, even though I kept everything as relaxed as possible. I have a feeling many people on SA are being hit by exacerbated w/d symptoms due to post Christmas trials and tribulations.  K

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JustCallMeJane

I've bumped up both my magnesium and my fish oil amounts. It's helped, I think. Hoping it's not a placebo effect.

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Kristine
37 minutes ago, JustCallMeJane said:

 

I've bumped up both my magnesium and my fish oil amounts.

 

Thank you Jane, If you don't mind me asking....how much do you take? And when? Morning/night? K

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JustCallMeJane
1 hour ago, Kristine said:

Thank you Jane, If you don't mind me asking....how much do you take? And when? Morning/night? K

 

magnesium 300mg (2 pills) at night

fish oil 7.5ml, twice daily, first thing & last thing
vitamin e 400mg at night

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Kristine

Thank you Jane 😊 K

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Staz

Hi Kristine,

I'm glad you survived Christmas ok.  It was a major trigger for me so we kept a low profile. Usually my family come to us for Christmas Day but this year it was just my wife and kids and so much more relaxing...well as much as I'm able to.

We've had snow here the last few days so the Cotswold Hills and villages look picture post card great at the moment viewed from my window.

I'm following your journey with interest as it mirrors my own so closely. I too have treatment resistant depression according to my psychiatrist. He thinks I need ECT now as well. He also doesn't believe in withdrawals as he told me when we discussed my Seroquel taper. As far as he's concerned 25mg isn't even a clinically significant dose!

Like you I'm not going to let these morons beat me and I'm coming off my meds slowly and at a pace I will decide not him. I'm close to the point of not wanting to see him again and get my care given back to my GP as all psychiatrist have done is chase one drug side effect with another until I'm a poly drugged unemployable mess.

Keep fighting and I wish you well.

Staz.

xx

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Downbutnotout
On 12/27/2017 at 1:15 AM, JustCallMeJane said:

 

magnesium 300mg (2 pills) at night

fish oil 7.5ml, twice daily, first thing & last thing
vitamin e 400mg at night

When did you all start taking those vitamins? Do they help ? 

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JustCallMeJane
15 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

When did you all start taking those vitamins? Do they help ? 

As posted in my own thread, I started Dec 16. Not sure if they do or don't. I have good days and bad, although I did notice a difference after forgetting to take my supplements one night. Not sure if that was a fluke, or that the supps work.

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Kristine

Hi All, Quick update.  Decreased the dexamphetamine on the 19th December. Noticed changes in symptoms over the past 5-6 days.  This is kinda what I expected. 

 

Positives

  • Increased Appetite (put on 1kg)
  • Decreased anxiety/panic 
  • Decreased headache duration 
  • sleeping a little better (about 6-7 hours) going to sleep faster 

Negatives

  • worsening depression. Dark/black mood
  • want to cry but I can't (stupid Prozac)
  • worsening fatigue. 
  • worsening muscle ache and pain (worst it has been)
  • Sweating more than before...hot most of the time
  • Pickling sensation...mainly all over my hands and fingers
  • Visible twitch above right side upper lip (it's just annoying - not concerned)

I have been in bed,doing very little for two days.  I am completely worn out. Just been on SA, most of the time.  It seems to be the only place I feel validated. And trying to distract myself with Netflix. No joy in anything at the moment. K

 

 

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Downbutnotout
1 hour ago, Kristine said:

Hi All, Quick update.  Decreased the dexamphetamine again on the 19th December. Noticed changes in symptoms over the past 5-6 days.  This is kinda what I expected. 

Positives

  • Increased Appetite (put on 1kg)
  • Decreased anxiety/panic 
  • Decreased headache duration 
  • sleeping a little better (about 6-7 hours) going to sleep faster 

Negatives

  • worsening depression. Dark/black mood
  • want to cry but I can't (stupid Prozac)
  • worsening fatigue. 
  • worsening muscle ache and pain (worst it has been)
  • Sweating more than before...hot most of the time
  • Pickling sensation...mainly all over my hands and fingers
  • Visible twitch above right side upper lip (it's just annoying - not concerned)

I have been in bed,doing very little for two days.  I am completely worn out. Just been on SA, most of the time.  It seems to be the only place I feel validated. And trying to distract myself with Netflix. No joy in anything at the moment. K

 

 

You are a truly inspiring person. At least you can eat! I’ve been on here too. At least you feel like you want to cry. That’s a good thing.  Which drug is giving you the physical symptoms? I’ll make sure I don’t take it. This site is convincing me to give up this stuff for good. At least I canceled my psychiatris appointment. She couldn’t wait to give me some more torturous drugs to make me feel better. Have you heard of the Ohio State Buckeyes? A football team that won the Cotton Bowl. Probably never heard of them. From Columbus, Ohio, All the people here will be happy. I could smile, just a little. It’s tough, no joy. 

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Kristine

Thank you DBNO,  You are very kind. So glad to hear you had a 'teensy' window. Wonderful news. I've always found American football very confusing. Very different from our Australian Rules football. Congratulations the Ohio Buckeyes! Sounds like there is some positive energy pulsing around the streets of Columbus ☺️ K.

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Kristine
On 29/12/2017 at 7:18 AM, Staz said:

I'm glad you survived Christmas ok.  It was a major trigger for me so we kept a low profile. Usually my family come to us for Christmas Day but this year it was just my wife and kids and so much more relaxing...well as much as I'm able to.

We've had snow here the last few days so the Cotswold Hills and villages look picture post card great at the moment viewed from my window.

I'm following your journey with interest as it mirrors my own so closely. I too have treatment resistant depression according to my psychiatrist. He thinks I need ECT now as well. He also doesn't believe in withdrawals as he told me when we discussed my Seroquel taper. As far as he's concerned 25mg isn't even a clinically significant dose!

Like you I'm not going to let these morons beat me and I'm coming off my meds slowly and at a pace I will decide not him. I'm close to the point of not wanting to see him again and get my care given back to my GP as all psychiatrist have done is chase one drug side effect with another until I'm a poly drugged unemployable mess.

Keep fighting and I wish you well.

Staz.

Hi Staz, Somehow I missed this post from yesterday.  However, this is not surprising in my current state😳 So lovely to hear about your white Christmas.  I looked up pictures of the 'Cotswold Hills' and the villages...it's like looking at pictures from a fairytale. It makes me feel happy that you have such a beautiful view 😊

 

I remember when I was first told I had "treatment resistent depression".  I already felt fundamentally flawed from the other labels. No one should be given a diagnosis of TRD because the words themselves strip away that last piece of hope.  Without hope, what are we left with? 

 

Your psychiatrist seems to have forgotten the 'hypocratic oath', ....'first do no harm'.  We should get both of our polypharmacy, prescription happy, psychiatrists together because they sure do have a lot in common.

 

At least we have both found this site ☺️ Prior to this I felt extremely frightened and alone. Thank you for your support Staz, you have mine as well. K 

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Staz

Hi Kristine,

Being told you have TRD and the only option left is to have ECT was a huge blow just before Christmas. It strips away any hope as you've so accurately described it and I find myself without hope but keep trying to slowly get off of my meds as for me that's the only way I'm going to regain hope and climb out of this dark pit of despair. It will be a long and difficult journey for us both but we can't give in.

 

If it were down to me I'd abolish psychiatry. They've turned a moderate depression into something life threatening for me.

 

Keep going Kristine as you are making good progress off of your benzo.

Steve

xx

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Kristine

Hi Everyone,  I think it is important that I share a personal message I sent Staz in to response to some questions he had concerning Electric Convulsive Therapy (ECT).  I have Staz's permission to post this information.  It may be difficult for some people to read....

 

Staz wrote...

Hi Kristine,

How are you today?

I just wondered if you were on any benzos when you had ECT?

My shrink has told me I've treatment resistant depression and none of my meds could cause or make depression worse which makes me wonder about him tbh. All of my meds warn about depression getting worse as a side effect and diazepam is renown for causing depression with chronic usage.

I'd be interested in your experience with ECT as well as any meds you were on at the time as my shrink is now pushing me in that direction.

My own research suggests ECT can be much less effective if you are on a benzo and the side effects more pronounced.

Cheers

Staz 

 

In response

 

Hi Staz......Firstly, I would like to thank you for asking these questions privately.  You are very thoughtful and considerate. 

 

I haven't written my entire history/medication on my thread because it is a novel and it is confusing enough as it is!  I have had ECT twice.....

 

1) First time was in 2012. I was studying for my 'bachelor of nursing' and had only one semester left to complete.  I was on 30mg of citalopram at the time. I suffer from severe 'endometriosis' and I had pushed through debilitating pain for months (stupid girl).  Without going into the graphic details I became anaemic, had to defer my degree and have major surgery. Deferring my degree had a detrimental effect on my mental health. I felt like a failure. Medications were changed and added.  Valium was one of them and alprazolam.  I was going down hill fast and trying to recover from the surgery.  I had MDD and, like you, was told I had treatment resistant depression. I was admitted to hospital because I had became catatonic and had stopped eating and drinking. I wanted to die. My darling husband was desperate and didn't know what to do.  Ect was encouraged.  So I had 15 treatments (three times a week for five weeks).  You are correct regarding a reduced seizure threshold related to benzos. I was on two benzos at the time...I think the Valium dose was 15mg daily... multiple times I didn't have a seizure so the electrical current was increased, one after the other... thankfully my psychiatrist was honest about this but I'm sure many people are not even told. I should mention the treatment began as right sided unlilateral ECT.  This progressed to bilateral ect.

 

The positive... it snapped me out of catatonia.  It was a quick fix. Ten months later I graduated from university with my BN.  I look back now and really don't know how I managed. The human spirit is remarkable.

 

The negative...Severe short term memory loss.  Some long term memory is also gone. Every time I woke from the anesthetic I was profoundly distressed. I didn't know where I was, who I was, who my husband was. I was hysterical, screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. This usually lasted about 1/2 hour every single time. 15 times. I have never experienced anything as terrifying.  Added to this I always woke with a debilitating migraine and was given mersyndol.  Jaw pain was also an issue. It was very difficult to eat. I have had migraines ever since and this is exacerbated by medication and withdrawal.

 

Why on earth would I do it again? Good question.

 

Second time was May 2016.  I had been working full time as an RN until October 2015 when the citalopram "pooped out" ...this is when I start my story in my introduction on SA.

 

The psychiatrist I was referred to and who treated me when I was hospitalised in 2016 thought it would be beneficial. I said "no I don't want it" because of my previous experiences.  Also I wasn't catatonic.  I was depressed, anxious and desperate.  Suffering PAWS but didn't know it.  This psychiatrist said he would use the "ultra brief" method of Ect. Which was safer and would have little effect on my memory (his words).  I was vulnerable and desperate for relief. I agreed...this was a big mistake.

 

I was on oxazepam at the time which was withheld the night before every ect treatment (more w/d)  However, there were still issues with the seizure threshold.  One occasion (that I was told about)  the electrical current was doubled because the first current did not produce a seizure. When I woke my husband could not get a response from me.  I believe I have permanent brain damage from ECT.  This time I still suffered more severe memory loss, distress and migraines. More importantly my depression and anxiety did not improve. In fact I got worse. With everything on top of this I am not optimistic that I can return to work as a surgical nurse.

 

This is my experience Staz.  I'm sorry it is so blunt, but I can only offer you the truth and I just can't sugar coat it.

 

I'm happy to talk with you further about this or anything else.  I'm sorry you are even faced with this decision. 😕. K

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gardenlady

Kristine, This is such an upsetting post....I am so grieved for what happened to you....it is an atrocity and it makes me so angry since it was completely unnecessary.  

 

Dr. Peter Breggin and many others have written about the barbarity of ECT.  Here is a link to an article on how harmful ECT is with many research citations:

http://www.wayneramsay.com/ect.htm

 

Treatment resistant depression is nothing but a made-up diagnosis that psychiatrists pull out of their hat when none of their drugs work.  It doesn't dawn on them that the drugs are the problem and that patients would improve if they weaned off of them.  Using psych drugs to treat depression is akin to trying to solve a computer software problem by working on the hardware.  I, too, was labeled with TRD and have since learned that there is no such thing.  I hate that it drives people to even more harmful approaches such as ECT.

 

I'm so very sorry that you were an innocent victim of what is nothing less than medical malpractice.  Thank you for sharing your story in the hopes that others might be diverted from believing the lies that psychiatrists tell them about this inexcusable act of barbarism. 

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Kristine

Hi Garden Lady, Thank you for your kind words...it really does mean the world to me.  I look back over the past 10 years and I had become a compliant/brainwashed victim of psychiatry.  When I first visited the psychiatrist's office I was suffering from ongoing trauma which led to insomnia, depression and anxiety.  I was having a normal human reaction to extreme circumstances. I was a high functioning, social and vibrant woman.  Now I am nothing short of disabled. But I'm not giving up! 

 

I have read much of Peter Breggin work. Unfortunately,  I only discovered this a few months ago. It was too late for me but not for others, which is why I felt it was so vital to post this personal account of ECT.   Thank you for the link, hopefully others will read this information and be spared this barbaric torture.

 

I agree with everything you wrote and I'm sorry you were also diagnosed with TRD.  Just another diagnosis with no validity which only proves to give psychiatrists a green light to cause even more harm.

 

I don't think I have stopped by your thread but I will soon ☺️ K

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Downbutnotout
19 hours ago, Kristine said:

Thank you DBNO,  You are very kind. So glad to hear you had a 'teensy' window. Wonderful news. I've always found American football very confusing. Very different from our Australian Rules football. Congratulations the Ohio Buckeyes! Sounds like there is some positive energy pulsing around the streets of Columbus ☺️ K.

You are very popular around here, and I like reading your posts. I’m sure I wouldn’t understand Australian rules.  I am really scared that things aren’t going to improve for me. How do you, or other people suggest I stay hopeful? I have to find hope. I’m pretty convinced taking more drugs is just going to end me up in a worse state. I was also encouraged to do ect. After my tms wouldn’t work. I so wanted it to work. the doctor said, “don’t give up, we had ect, that will help you.. We can put you in the hospital right now.’ I was ready to do it but my husband stopped them. My lingering thought is that I believed medication helped me before. I guess it was just the placebo effect. I am on virtually nothing now. Just 6 beads and 50 mg trazadone

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Kristine
4 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

How do you, or other people suggest I stay hopeful?

 

Such a great question!  Over the years I have learnt some major lessons.  I used to fight this process which only made me more exhausted and angry.  I would say very mean things to myself.. eg "you are a failure", "you are weak" "everyone would be better off without you".  I started to focus on changes, not so much the symptoms...if something changes, either mentally or physically, positive or negative, I see this as my body, mind and soul healing. Healing is painful.  This slowly lead to acceptance.  Accepting that this process will take a undetermined amount of time;  that I am broken but I am worthy and strong; I still have so much to offer and the future is only ever a second away.  It will be, what it will be.  This is what gives me hope 😊 K

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Downbutnotout
18 minutes ago, Kristine said:

 

Such a great question!  Over the years I have learnt some major lessons.  I used to fight this process which only made me more exhausted and angry.  I would say very mean things to myself.. eg "you are a failure", "you are weak" "everyone would be better off without you".  I started to focus on changes, not so much the symptoms...if something changes, either mentally or physically, positive or negative, I see this as my body, mind and soul healing. Healing is painful.  This slowly lead to acceptance.  Accepting that this process will take a undetermined amount of time;  that I am broken but I am worthy and strong; I still have so much to offer and the future is only ever a second away.  It will be, what it will be.  This is what gives me hope 😊 K

Thank you. I know I sound like a wimp. Maybe it’s cause I’m old, or maybe its because I can remember feeling  so differently 6 months ago. I’ll reread your post many times. Maybe I can internalize it. 

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Kristine
5 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

Thank you. I know I sound like a wimp. Maybe it’s cause I’m old, or maybe its because I can remember feeling  so differently 6 months ago. I’ll reread your post many times. Maybe I can internalize it.

You are not, I repeat not sounding "like a wimp".  You are not alone in this messy situation.  Please be kind to yourself DBNO, I have faith in you. It will be ok. K 

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Downbutnotout
3 minutes ago, Kristine said:

You are not, I repeat not sounding "like a wimp".  You are not alone in this messy situation.  Please be kind to yourself DBNO, I have faith in you. It will be ok. K 

 

3 minutes ago, Kristine said:

You are not, I repeat not sounding "like a wimp".  You are not alone in this messy situation.  Please be kind to yourself DBNO, I have faith in you. It will be ok. K 

 

3 minutes ago, Kristine said:

You are not, I repeat not sounding "like a wimp".  You are not alone in this messy situation.  Please be kind to yourself DBNO, I have faith in you. It will be ok. K 

 

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Downbutnotout
Just now, Downbutnotout said:

 

 

 

Whoops did that three times. You don’t know how much your encouragement and support mean to me. Maybe it can get me through the next hour.  It brought semi tears to my eyes. If it was my real self I would’ve been really crying. 

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manymoretodays
21 hours ago, Kristine said:

Hi All, Quick update.  Decreased the dexamphetamine on the 19th December. Noticed changes in symptoms over the past 5-6 days.  This is kinda what I expected. 

 

Positives

  • Increased Appetite (put on 1kg)
  • Decreased anxiety/panic 
  • Decreased headache duration 
  • sleeping a little better (about 6-7 hours) going to sleep faster 

Negatives

  • worsening depression. Dark/black mood
  • want to cry but I can't (stupid Prozac)
  • worsening fatigue. 
  • worsening muscle ache and pain (worst it has been)
  • Sweating more than before...hot most of the time
  • Pickling sensation...mainly all over my hands and fingers
  • Visible twitch above right side upper lip (it's just annoying - not concerned)

I have been in bed,doing very little for two days.  I am completely worn out. Just been on SA, most of the time.  It seems to be the only place I feel validated. And trying to distract myself with Netflix. No joy in anything at the moment. K

 

 

 

Pickling sensation.  I like that term.  Oddly, I have had some transient eyelid twitches on a few occasions lately.  They pass.  I remember how nonchalant my shrink was years and years ago when I was on an AAP and noted those to her.  She didn't see anything visible, when I had one while in her office....... just had me continue on with the stuff, although I was not at all myself, in any way shape or form.  Weird.  I could see one of the more recent ones in the mirror.  It passed really quickly.

 

On the ECT.......nice report.  When I last went in the hospital(voluntary)........I met a couple other's who were there getting ECT.  One of them wound up back a day or so after her release due to relapse.  A lot of situational stuff for her really.....IMHO.  And.......I was so very intensely messed up from the rapid reduction of Lexapro.........she almost had me sold/"spellbound" on the benefits of ECT, this other inpatient. 

 

Are your symptoms intensified now....some 10 or 11 days, after your dex reduction?  I mean since say day 1-10?  Overall.  Just wondering.  Good record keeping on you!

 

Have you seen any shows to recommend on Netflix?  And so glad you are taking care, taking it easy.  Sending hopes of Joy feelings for you soon Kristine.  Is your name taken from the Stephen King book?  It's about a car named Kristine I think.  And scary, as some of his stuff is.

 

Best, Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

 

mmt

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Kristine

Hi MMT, I have enjoyed reading about your adventures over Christmas... and Happy New Year!

46 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Pickling sensation.  I like that term. 

Lol! It was meant to say 'prickling'!  It's different to pins and needles. But I could use the term 'pickling' for the feeling in my brain!

 

46 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

On the ECT.......nice report.  When I last went in the hospital(voluntary)........I met a couple other's who were there getting ECT.  One of them wound up back a day or so after her release due to relapse.  A lot of situational stuff for her really.....IMHO.  And.......I was so very intensely messed up from the rapid reduction of Lexapro.........she almost had me sold/"spellbound" on the benefits of ECT, this other inpatient. 

This doesn't surprise me at all. ECT should be banned. Full stop. 

46 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Are your symptoms intensified now....some 10 or 11 days, after your dex reduction?  I mean since say day 1-10?  Overall.  Just wondering.  Good record keeping on you!

I noticed big changes, both positive and negative around day 5.  The negative symptoms were very intense for 5 days. Today is a little better. My mood is a little lighter today but physical symptoms persist. 

 

46 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Have you seen any shows to recommend on Netflix? 

I've been watching, 'call the midwife'....again! Love it.  'The notebook'...corny! I know!....'28 days' (alcohol rehab comedy)... I thought wouldn't it be great to have that kind of support coming off these drugs!  Oh, and I sat through the 'twilight movies' 😕 And yes I'm in my 40's 🙄 also a fan of the series 'outlander' but it does get rather risqué at times.

 

You are often in my thoughts MMT. K

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manymoretodays

Oh sweet.  You too.  I will try to update on my latest adventures soon.  Sun is moving the end of next week.  And......I........did........amazingly, okay with the whole deal, plan, etc.  I need him close by to change light bulbs......ha ha ha, that's what I tell him.  He let's me in though.......I mean that's the greatest thing now........he talks and I listen and vice versa.  He is loved by this Mum!!!

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