kesh: akathisia, parasomnia, anxiety

[kesh]

Thanks for that idea. I may try it.

 

Slept alright, but very broken, and usual incoherent dreams. Was really exhausted today. I guess my flu hasn't gone. The akathasia  (not sure if I should still call it that) was around and I just lay in bed with it. I guess my aka relaxation exercise is forced on me by flu. Sometimes the urge to move goes, sometimes it's there but distant, sometimes it's more thoughts than movement. 

 

Been falling into 5 second sleeps alot nrem dreams I think. Lots of these. Aka subsidised at 3pm.

 

Drugs as before except I'm dividing my cit dose slowly.

[megb]

Hi Kesh, 

 

An insomniac for years stopping by to read your thread. I've been in a similar hell and it's almost unbearable. This will pass. It WONT last forever. You are healing, even though it's so so so hard to believe. 

 

I remember having zero hope at times. Just keep breathing and take each 10 minutes as you can. I'm in such a better place now - so it IS possible Have never been hooked on benzos but an awful AD which greatly affects sleep. We are all here for you. Praying for rest and restoration of all!

 

Meg

[kesh]

Thanks meg. Glad you're in a better place. Every person saying that helps us guys in a bad place. Luckily my benzo use is the lowest I've seen on this board.

 

Strangely last night, even though I'd not slept the night before. I felt kinda ok. Was able to watch tv and sort of enjoy it.

 

Anyhoo. Had bad anxiety for an hour after the exhaustion went away. Then that went away and I'm kinda okay again.

 

Off to acupuncture which is always a couple of hours of relaxation. 

[kesh]

Anxiety has been constant since the aka and tiredness left. Except during acupuncture when I fell asleep as usual. Worried about not sleeping because of the anxiety. 

[kesh]

The Samaritans crisis line guy seemed kind of relieved when I said I was going for a cigarette. I swear he almost said "k thnx bye". He was pretty useless. Just platitudes following pauses, after I'd spoken, like he was playing on the Internet while talking to me. It's okay though. It's not like this can be fixed by a phone call.

 

(I'm not about to attempt suicide btw. Just wanted to vent my fears about not sleeping tonight.)

 

Last time I phoned Samaritans I got a message saying no one was available to take my call. It was Christmas day though.

[manymoretodays]

14 hours ago, kesh said:

Drugs as before except I'm dividing my cit dose slowly.

 

Can you elaborate on this.  Perhaps I missed it above somewhere?  Significant change in symptoms?

And is there any pattern showing up on the accupuncture days?  Better or worse?

 

Here we have what is called a "warm line".  Limited hours though of operation.  With a 15 minute time frame.  I used them a fair amount early on, and learned how to get the most from them........as far as support.  I also learned the different employees as well, the people who answered.............got real familiar with a few.........a couple that were so very helpful.........others not so much.

 

I hope you are sleeping.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

[kesh]

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

 

Can you elaborate on this.  Perhaps I missed it above somewhere?  Significant change in symptoms?

And is there any pattern showing up on the accupuncture days?  Better or worse?

 

Here we have what is called a "warm line".  Limited hours though of operation.  With a 15 minute time frame.  I used them a fair amount early on, and learned how to get the most from them........as far as support.  I also learned the different employees as well, the people who answered.............got real familiar with a few.........a couple that were so very helpful.........others not so much.

 

I hope you are sleeping.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

Didn't sleep, so I'm feeling hopeless. 

 

I normally take my citalopram at 9am. I'm going to divide the dose in two. Take one half at 9am, one at 10am. Then slowly push the 10am to 11am, then 12 noon, etc. Until it becomes 9am and 9pm.

 

Haven't noticed a connection with acupuncture. Except when I am on the acupuncture table with needles in, I sleep. Guaranteed. But feel back to same half an hour after it ends.

[UnfoldingSky]

Hi kesh, checking in to see how you are.  Sorry to read you have not slept.  Are you ever able to during the day?  How is the flu today?

[kesh]

4 hours ago, UnfoldingSky said:

Hi kesh, checking in to see how you are.  Sorry to read you have not slept.  Are you ever able to during the day?  How is the flu today?

Flu has gone. I slept 9am until 11am. I actually slept while the akathisia was beginning. I had my first coherent, narrative dream, one where I was being extremely violent to my friends for not listening to me or understanding me. Woke up in full akathisia. Been pacing, smoking, hoping I'm one of the lucky ones who gets better from this.

[kesh]

Maybe spoke too soon. Hot and cold fluey feeling suddenly. 

[kesh]

Aka left 5pm or 6pm. My windows from akathisia leave me traumatised by it, so it's difficult to enjoy feeling fairly normal, instead I am left anxious. 

 

Did some cathartic bodywork about 5pm or 6pm, not sure if this helped end the akathisia, like exercise helped Bloch's akathisia. 

[kesh]

Anxiety stayed until 10pm, then I felt normal. Lots of sleep and dreams seem to be more coherent and have narratives.

 

Woke up feeling normal but very quickly mild akathesia appeared which actually feels more like irritability and anger. Like the dysphoria is from supressed anger. Going to see how catharsis/bodywork helps.

 

Meds as before though I've pushed a third of my citalopram 4 hours forward. 2/3 at 9am, 1/3 at 1pm. I'm thinking the plan is 1/3 split 9am, 5pm, 1am, but to move there slowly. I'm thinking stable levels of citalopram might lessen the big ups and downs of the day. 

[UnfoldingSky]

On 23/01/2018 at 7:22 AM, kesh said:

Flu has gone. I slept 9am until 11am. I actually slept while the akathisia was beginning. I had my first coherent, narrative dream, one where I was being extremely violent to my friends for not listening to me or understanding me. Woke up in full akathisia. Been pacing, smoking, hoping I'm one of the lucky ones who gets better from this.

 

I recall having a dream about a friend who would not listen to me too, where I was telling her how upset I was over that reality.  When things were really bad. Are any of your friends supportive?

 

[UnfoldingSky]

On 23/01/2018 at 2:43 PM, kesh said:

Aka left 5pm or 6pm. My windows from akathisia leave me traumatised by it, so it's difficult to enjoy feeling fairly normal, instead I am left anxious. 

 

Did some cathartic bodywork about 5pm or 6pm, not sure if this helped end the akathisia, like exercise helped Bloch's akathisia. 

 

kesh what is involved in the body work?  I have not heard of this before for akathisia, am curious.

[Rosetta]

Kesh,. Hi.  I hope you are feeling well! - Rosetta

[kesh]

34 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Kesh,. Hi.  I hope you are feeling well! - Rosetta

Maybe. Akathisia is a little less. Anxiety is pretty bad, been some SI days because of it. Had a couple of days that I felt like my old self. Like a human being again.

 

Staying away from this site as I have all the information I need, and I find hearing about other people's stories just feeds my anxieties.

 

But when I am all better I will post a recovery story.

[Rosetta]

I understand.  That's probably a good choice.  Hope your windows get longer and longer!  Take care, R

[nz11]

Kesh

I will keep this brief as it is almost lunch time 

but refer my drug sig.

thanks for your consideration

nz11

[kesh]

Had a very bad last 6 days. Only 2 or 3 hrs sleep a night.

 

Akathisia has changed its pattern. Comes on at 4pm for pretty much 24 hrs. Then 24 hrs off. 

 

Citalopram still being tapered. 2.5mg currently. 

 

As I'm finding the akathisia soul destroying and it's making me suicidal, I am going to  try cyproheptadine, a hayfever remedy that studies and friends on the akathisia group say helps. I took a test dose of 2mg today. Will titrate up.

 

[Shep]

1 hour ago, kesh said:

As I'm finding the akathisia soul destroying and it's making me suicidal, I am going to  try cyproheptadine, a hayfever remedy that studies and friends on the akathisia group say helps. I took a test dose of 2mg today. Will titrate up.

 

Kesh, you are adding too many "brakes" at one time.  For the "brake" concept, see:

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

From your benzo thread:

 

4 hours ago, kesh said:

But today, after a very difficult wave of ssri akathisia and insomnia, i broke and took 4mg. 2mg morning, 2mg afternoon. 

 

By adding in these "brakes", you are pressing down your nervous system. And then your nervous system fights back with hyperactivation. 

 

In other words, you are risking making the akathisia much worse. 

[Altostrata]

kesh, what times of day are you taking your drugs, and at what dosages?

 

Akathisia used to occur in the morning, is that correct?

 

What does the current akathisia symptom feel like?

 

Cyproheptadine sounds like something you'd want to take in the evening, correct? If I were you, I'd take it at the same time each day for 4 days to see what it does.

 

Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. As scally has cautioned, we need to see if the drugs themselves are causing symptoms.

[Rosetta]

HI Kesh, Thinking of you.  I'm so sorry to hear that you are suffering.  -- Rosetta

[manymoretodays]

6 hours ago, kesh said:

As I'm finding the akathisia soul destroying and it's making me suicidal, I am going to  try cyproheptadine, a hayfever remedy that studies and friends on the akathisia group say helps. I took a test dose of 2mg today. Will titrate up.

 

5 hours ago, Shep said:

By adding in these "brakes", you are pressing down your nervous system. And then your nervous system fights back with hyperactivation. 

 

In other words, you are risking making the akathisia much worse. 

 

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

kesh, what times of day are you taking your drugs, and at what dosages?

 

Akathisia used to occur in the morning, is that correct?

 

What does the current akathisia symptom feel like?

 

Cyproheptadine sounds like something you'd want to take in the evening, correct? If I were you, I'd take it at the same time each day for 4 days to see what it does.

 

Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. As scally has cautioned, we need to see if the drugs themselves are causing symptoms.

 

Hi kesh,

 

I am also so sorry to hear of this, your struggling again.  Try and get those daily notes going again and share them here.  That will help us help you, and possibly isolate what is the akathisia culprit.  Do your best to describe the "akathisia" symptoms as well.

Really important and helpful if we can see a nice symptom list like this:

 

 

What we need to see for every individual day over several days is:

- Time and dosage for drugs taken in morning
- Time and description of any symptoms in the morning
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in afternoon
- Time and description of any symptoms in the afternoon
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in evening
- Time and description of any symptoms in the evening
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in middle of the night
- Time and description of any symptoms in the middle of the night (such as waking)
 
And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, such as:
 
6 a.m. Woke and vomited
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Had diarrhea
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Stomachache
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Headache got worse
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke with headache

 

An appointments diary is perfect for this and can be bought at stationery stores. 

They have a page for each day with times for appointments which can be filled in with doses, symptoms etc as shown by Alto.

 

Okay and best, as always......Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

 

[Shep]

10 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Akathisia used to occur in the morning, is that correct?

 

Kesh, regarding Alto's comment here, did your symptoms get worse after you made the timing change listed in the below post?

 

It seems your akathisia symptoms may be coming from the AD, but after you post your symptoms journal, we'll be able to tell more. 

 

 

On 1/23/2018 at 2:41 AM, kesh said:

I normally take my citalopram at 9am. I'm going to divide the dose in two. Take one half at 9am, one at 10am. Then slowly push the 10am to 11am, then 12 noon, etc. Until it becomes 9am and 9pm.

 

Edited February 16, 2018 by Shep
fixed typo

[kesh]

16 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Kesh, you are adding too many "brakes" at one time.  For the "brake" concept, see:

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

From your benzo thread:

 

 

By adding in these "brakes", you are pressing down your nervous system. And then your nervous system fights back with hyperactivation. 

 

In other words, you are risking making the akathisia much worse. 

 

 

Hi Shep.

 

Are you saying adding cyproheptadine is a problem because it's a brake? This is a vast oversimplification of what cyproheptadine is hypothesised to do (antagonises 5HT2a to upregulate D2).

 

Breaks/accelerators model is fine as a rule of thumb, but a huge simplification of the brain and brain chemistry. Possibly as unscientific as the "low serotonin/chemical imbalance" model of depression. No one properly understands the brain, which is why so many of us are in this mess.

 

I took the risk with cyproheptadine because of finding zero negative outcomes (from 20+ cases in the scientific literature and 3 cases in patient support groups), and zero problems with withdrawal (but from only 2 cases in patient support groups)

 

I also took the risk because SI had changed to planning. Same reason I took the rescue dose.

[kesh]

16 hours ago, Altostrata said:

kesh, what times of day are you taking your drugs, and at what dosages?

 

Akathisia used to occur in the morning, is that correct?

 

What does the current akathisia symptom feel like?

 

Cyproheptadine sounds like something you'd want to take in the evening, correct? If I were you, I'd take it at the same time each day for 4 days to see what it does.

 

Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. As scally has cautioned, we need to see if the drugs themselves are causing symptoms.

Hi Alto.

 

2.2mg citalopram spread throughout the day. Currently half on waking, one quarter middle of day, one quarter evening before bed. I moved to that schedule from all in the morning over the space of a few weeks. Am tapering at 1% every 4 days. 1.5mg diazepam before bed. Rescue doses yesterday of 4mg. Propanalol usually 4x10mg, yesterday was 8x10mg. I take 2mg 

 

Yes, used to be "physical" aka in the morning "mental" aka in the afternoon or evening. These description are not quite accurate, but are shorthand among akathisia sufferers. Physical = *absolutely have to move because of of inner compulsive restlessness, with doom, despair, hopelessness*. Mental = *no compulsion to move but sheer nameless terror, about what you have no idea.*

 

7 days ago it changed to a 48 hour pattern. Physical akathisia would begin at 4pm and last 24 hours, then stop for 24 hours, with the occasional episode of mental aka.

 

This is a perfect description of my akathisia. Especially the quotes from patients. 

 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=450323358501337&id=148241512042858

 

My plan for cyproheptadine is 2mg morning, 2mg afternoon 4mg before bed. To titrate up to the recommended dose of double those amounts.

[kesh]

6 hours ago, Shep said:

 

Kesh, regarding Alto's comment here, did your symptoms get worse after you made the timing change listed in the below post?

 

It seems your akathisia symptoms may be coming from the AD, but after you post your symptoms journal, we'll be able to tell more. 

 

 

 

It's almost impossible to know. If the schedule change caused the aka timing change then there was a delay of over a week. 

 

But someone could get akathasia from, say, 10 days fluoxetine, then take no more psych meds ever, have akathisia for years, but with patterns changing all the time.

 

It's as likely to be random changes that the brain makes itself as external triggers. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi kesh,

What else are you doing/trying to relieve the physical akathisia that you described above?  Some form of weighted blanket?  I had it bad at one time.  Oddly or not it seemed to be really related to situational a bit and perhaps even more to neuroemotions(around ordinary, not out of the world type situational stuff that happened) early on in my withdrawal(once recognized as such) and after my arrival here.  Sometimes I would just hunker down in bed, after pacing, and do the 4-7-8 breathing:  in through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and then out again for 8 seconds.  I went with nasal breathing as well after I read something about that working better.  Of course......scientific, maybe amygdala related.  I used to focus a lot on my "Amy G Dala", amygdala......... of sorts..........just something I could easily relate to.........as far as me and my W/D symptoms.  In bed.......I'd do what I could to get comfortable(often a tensed up fetal position......holding myself together basically) and breathe........just breathe.........I would often have to start over again and again.   At some point.......I could rest, sometimes sleep.  Other times I could go on to some form of mantra of my choosing........a brief hopeful or inspirational saying.

 

And please, please.......I know it's hard with the mental right now but get out a piece of paper and pen or pencil.  Get things down in the format that I gave you above.  It will help.  In general.......how long have you been doing those splits with the citalopram?  Try with the format to just get the times, as illustrated........and then symptoms........and of course.......all of your medications(if I were you I would include the crypohep as well).  And your last decrease, total dose, on the citalopram?  When was that?  Is your signature up to date? 

 

kesh, what you posted 2 posts up was a good start.  I can't really get a feel for things completely though, nor can the other mods, as far as making suggestions.  If I were you I would prioritize using the format given.  Then posting that here. 

 

I'm wondering about your time spent on the akathisia board.  Is that really helping right now?  Also I'm wondering what is going on in your life and with support systems, work or non work at present, etc.?  That kind of thing.

 

Any interest at all in trying some of the basics that we DO recommend here.  The magnesium especially I am thinking.  And of course perhaps after you record and decide on the further use of the crypohep stuff.    Can you do baths?  I am, will always be........a huge fan of the mag sulfate(Epsom salts) in a tub........long or short bath.  One thing at a time though.  Omega 3's may help as well.......soon.

 

S'okay.  I will just leave you with the akathisia link.  Don't obsess.........ha, ha, ha........if only it were that easy, eh?

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/32-akathisia-vs-restlessness-anxiety-agitation/

 

And one more, as far as links.......from another dear withdrawal warrior:

 

https://beyondmeds.com/2017/11/06/site-retired-ive-retired/

 

Use the top drop down menu on that one.......so much helpful wisdom there as well.

 

And kesh,  for safety's sake.........I get worried about your benzo dosing..........would you consider asking your Mom or girlfriend to help with that?  I mean could someone hold your pills for you?  And dole them on out.  I was happier when you were just holding at the 1.5 mg. of diazepam..........not that MY happiness is at stake mind you!

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

manymoretodays

 

 

 

 

Edited February 16, 2018 by manymoretodays

[Shep]

1 hour ago, kesh said:

Hi Shep.

 

Are you saying adding cyproheptadine is a problem because it's a brake? This is a vast oversimplification of what cyproheptadine is hypothesised to do (antagonises 5HT2a to upregulate D2).

 

Breaks/accelerators model is fine as a rule of thumb, but a huge simplification of the brain and brain chemistry. Possibly as unscientific as the "low serotonin/chemical imbalance" model of depression. No one properly understands the brain, which is why so many of us are in this mess.

 

I took the risk with cyproheptadine because of finding zero negative outcomes (from 20+ cases in the scientific literature and 3 cases in patient support groups), and zero problems with withdrawal (but from only 2 cases in patient support groups)

 

I also took the risk because SI had changed to planning. Same reason I took the rescue dose.

 

Kesh, please do a symptoms journal.  The best way to tell how these drugs are affecting you is to write this out in the format that MMT left in her post here. 

 

How these drugs work is unknown, as you've stated. And other people's experiences may or may not be yours, but the only way to know is to keep careful notes. 

 

And if you are "planning", reach out for on the ground support. It's important that you are safe.

 

For those who are feeling desperate or suicidal

 

 

 

[Rosetta]

Kesh,

 

Aka will end.  You have a beautiful life ahead of you!!  I know it's very hard to imagine that when you have Aka.  You know I know, but I'm reaching out to you from the other side.  I wish I could pull you through to me!!  I'm here having survived.  You will be, too.  Please hold on.  You can hold on.  You will be so glad you did.  Don't plan!!  Push those thoughts away!!  Call a hotline, anything.  Aka could end at any time.  It could become bearable at any time!!  Please believe that.  It's true.  I promise you it's true. 

 

Love, 

Rosetta

[kesh]

46 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

Kesh, please do a symptoms journal.  The best way to tell how these drugs are affecting you is to write this out in the format that MMT left in her post here. 

 

How these drugs work is unknown, as you've stated. And other people's experiences may or may not be yours, but the only way to know is to keep careful notes. 

 

And if you are "planning", reach out for on the ground support. It's important that you are safe.

 

For those who are feeling desperate or suicidal

 

 

 

Yes. I'm going to do the journal from tomorrow. It would be good if we could edit posts for 24 hours, then we could do the journal directly as the day goes by.

 

The planning thing. I think that suicidal is possibly the wrong word for what some people with akathisia feel. I don't know if you watched Terry Pratchett's documentary about Dignitas, the Swiss assisted dying place. There was a man with very bad MS. In a great deal of pain as well as paralysis. I do not consider what he did was a suicide, but euthanasia. A reasonable decision to end an intolerable illness. I am not there yet, but I think such cases should be regarded differently.

[kesh]

12 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Kesh,

 

Aka will end.  You have a beautiful life ahead of you!!  I know it's very hard to imagine that when you have Aka.  You know I know, but I'm reaching out to you from the other side.  I wish I could pull you through to me!!  I'm here having survived.  You will be, too.  Please hold on.  You can hold on.  You will be so glad you did.  Don't plan!!  Push those thoughts away!!  Call a hotline, anything.  Aka could end at any time.  It could become bearable at any time!!  Please believe that.  It's true.  I promise you it's true. 

 

Love, 

Rosetta

Hi Rosetta. 

 

I'm having trouble facing the fact of just one more akathisia episode. Facing the months or years of healing usual (if it happens at all) seems impossible. 

 

I always say, if someone promised me a time this would end, I'd endure it. It's the not knowing if or when that is so hard. Especially the if.

[Rosetta]

The aka will end, Kesh.  I respect your feelings. I understand your suffering as I have been there.  I had the same thoughts as you do, and I want you to know I am glad I endured.  So very, very glad.  Euthanasia is for terminal illness, and it would be such as terrible shame if my two months of severe aka had ended in suicide when in fact it was almost bearable and it did end very shortly thereafter.  I am so glad I waited it out.  

[Altostrata]

2 hours ago, kesh said:

2.2mg citalopram spread throughout the day. Currently half on waking, one quarter middle of day, one quarter evening before bed. I moved to that schedule from all in the morning over the space of a few weeks. Am tapering at 1% every 4 days. 1.5mg diazepam before bed. Rescue doses yesterday of 4mg. Propanalol usually 4x10mg, yesterday was 8x10mg. I take 2mg 

 

What TIME do you take each dose, what TIME do you have this symptom or that? Rescue doses of what? When did you take this rescue dose?

 

Those rescue doses can get you into trouble. You need to keep notes about exactly what you take and when.

 

Do not move citalopram around, take rescue doses, take haphazard doses of propanolol, and ramp up cyproheptadine at the same time!! We need to know your drug intake and symptom pattern to figure out what's causing your symptoms and we can't tell anything if it's all ad hoc.

 

The good news is it looks like your some of your symptoms might be caused by the drugs you're taking. The bad news is you may be making them worse with your drug experiments.

 

Your "mental akathisia" is sounding a lot like health anxiety to me. Did we talk about this before? Is this type of worrying something to which you've tended before?

[kesh]

4 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

What TIME do you take each dose, what TIME do you have this symptom or that? Rescue doses of what? When did you take this rescue dose?

 

Those rescue doses can get you into trouble. You need to keep notes about exactly what you take and when.

 

Do not move citalopram around, take rescue doses, take haphazard doses of propanolol, and ramp up cyproheptadine at the same time!! We need to know your drug intake and symptom pattern to figure out what's causing your symptoms and we can't tell anything if it's all ad hoc.

 

The good news is it looks like your some of your symptoms might be caused by the drugs you're taking. The bad news is you may be making them worse with your drug experiments.

 

Your "mental akathisia" is sounding a lot like health anxiety to me. Did we talk about this before? Is this type of worrying something to which you've tended before?

Hi Alto.

 

I know all of the things that you say are correct, but 6 days of no sleep and akathisia kind of makes you do stupid things. I was strictly following my timings and taper until the 6th day of this ghastly wave.

 

I discussed the rescue doses in my benzo thread. It was 2x2mg diazapam yesterday. I don't remember the times.

 

I'm going to do a timed daily diary as suggested above starting tomorrow. Is it possible to change this site's edit settings to allow 24 hours of editing? Then we can do our diary direct. Many of us are not functioning well and the simplicity of this would help.

 

"Mental akathisia" is very far away from health anxiety. I have had health anxiety before. Akathisia in all its types is very difficult to understand if you haven't had it. In the mental akathisia case it's a deep seated and nameless sense of terror that grips you and won't let go, but terror about nothing.

 

A good way for anyone to educate themselves about akathisia is to join the Living with Akathisia facebook group and read the posts there. And the MISSD (The Medication-Induced Suicide Prevention and Education Foundation in Memory of Stewart Dolin) post here is perfect too.

 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=450323358501337&id=148241512042858

 

I think 95% of my symptoms were caused by meds or their withdrawal. Before meds I was doing pretty well. Low level anxiety and mild insomnia led me to take them.

[kesh]

30 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

The aka will end, Kesh.  I respect your feelings. I understand your suffering as I have been there.  I had the same thoughts as you do, and I want you to know I am glad I endured.  So very, very glad.  Euthanasia is for terminal illness, and it would be such as terrible shame if my two months of severe aka had ended in suicide when in fact it was almost bearable and it did end very shortly thereafter.  I am so glad I waited it out.  

I guess I see people on akathisia support groups who have had it for three years. I don't know how they endured it.