Justin332: Paxil withdrawal - scared and need advice

[Justin332]

I just really want to feel like myself again and not a constant feeling in my chest and anxiety. 

 

I don’t want to feel hopeless anymore. I’m at a really really low point right now. 

[TB1973]

Hi Justin, I'm here with you.  I'm feeling like you today.  Big hugs x

[nz11]

8 hours ago, Justin332 said:

Ive never felt this bad in my life. What do i do?

Well id go and talk to the psych or your psych friend and ask them what they suggest as their voices are clearly the ones you are currently listening to for instructions. 

Let us know what they say.

Why are these people talking about breakthrough anxiety what the heck is that?  I don't believe you have anxiety you are having  ssri wdl reactions. No doubt you have other drug reactions going on as well. 

 

[Justin332]

12 minutes ago, TB1973 said:

Hi Justin, I'm here with you.  I'm feeling like you today.  Big hugs x

I’ve been crying all day. Just so sad. Even in November i still felt ok on trintellix. I want my life back and the thought that it may not return to normal for a long time is so daunting. 

[TB1973]

I know Justin.  I've been going through this hell for 5 months.  I found some relief taking Mirtazapine although I thought it was for sleep and stopped taking it when my sleep got better.  My doctor isn't explaining things to me and now I'm back where I started and trying to find answers for myself.  I'm also having an extremely bad day.  You are in my thoughts.

[Justin332]

6 minutes ago, nz11 said:

Well id go and talk to the psych or your psych friend and ask them what they suggest as their voices are clearly the ones you are currently listening to for instructions. 

Let us know what they say.

Why are these people talking about breakthrough anxiety what the heck is that?  I don't believe you have anxiety you are having  ssri wdl reactions. No doubt you have other drug reactions going on as well. 

 

I just hope reinstatement works. In reality the only thing they’ve told me different was going back to 20mg Paxil instead of 10. It’s not like they’re so different in plan from altostrata.  She did tell me to keep the gabapentin but i don’t want to get hooked on it under any circumstances and i haven’t talk taken  long. 

[delsol]

I can relate to the anxiety, the hopelessness, the feeling that it might never get better. I'm trying to get over the flu, which has been a doozy this year. It seems to have spun me into a downward spiral, like any progress I've made feels nil. Sorry to hear you're going through this. This site is a great place for support though. Keep hanging on.

[Justin332]

6 minutes ago, TB1973 said:

I know Justin.  I've been going through this hell for 5 months.  I found some relief taking Mirtazapine although I thought it was for sleep and stopped taking it when my sleep got better.  My doctor isn't explaining things to me and now I'm back where I started and trying to find answers for myself.  I'm also having an extremely bad day.  You are in my thoughts.

You’re in my thoughts too. 

[ihpsdm]

17 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

I’ve been crying all day. Just so sad. Even in November i still felt ok on trintellix. I want my life back and the thought that it may not return to normal for a long time is so daunting. 

 

Justin,

 

I read your thread and a lot of what you wrote resonates with me. My withdrawal is from Effexor, as opposed to Paxil, however. I have been on Effexor since 2003, so nearly as long as you have been on Paxil. I just wanted you to know that I'm going through a lot of the same things. When you are in WD, you want to get better in hours or days. Unfortunately for us, it might take months or years. I just reinstated on Tuesday after being off of the drug since Christmas. Hang in there and I hope you get better soon. 

[Justin332]

5 minutes ago, ihpsdm said:

 

Justin,

 

I read your thread and a lot of what you wrote resonates with me. My withdrawal is from Effexor, as opposed to Paxil, however. I have been on Effexor since 2003, so nearly as long as you have been on Paxil. I just wanted you to know that I'm going through a lot of the same things. When you are in WD, you want to get better in hours or days. Unfortunately for us, it might take months or years. I just reinstated on Tuesday after being off of the drug since Christmas. Hang in there and I hope you get better soon. 

There is no way i can live like this for years. None. 

[ihpsdm]

Just now, Justin332 said:

There is no way i can live like this for years. None. 

I feel the same way. We're going through similar things right now though. We can use this forum to support each other. This is truly a living nightmare.

 

Do you live alone. Do you have family and friends who can stay with you.

 

I'm so sad and broken right now.

[Justin332]

Just now, ihpsdm said:

I feel the same way. We're going through similar things right now though. We can use this forum to support each other. This is truly a living nightmare.

 

Do you live alone. Do you have family and friends who can stay with you.

 

I'm so sad and broken right now.

I do have friends but no family. I feel

like I’m already a huge burden on them. What about you?

 

you can’t be thinking in terms of years. You have to think positively. It’s so hard for me but I’m sleeping 8 hours a night and im hoping in a few weeks the paxil

will kick in and minimize what I’m going through. 

[ihpsdm]

8 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

I do have friends but no family. I feel

like I’m already a huge burden on them. What about you?

 

you can’t be thinking in terms of years. You have to think positively. It’s so hard for me but I’m sleeping 8 hours a night and im hoping in a few weeks the paxil

will kick in and minimize what I’m going through. 

No friends. My psychiatrist is actually in another state since I kept the same one I've had since 2003. I broke down and called her last week and she just couldn't understand that I would be in WD after tapering off of Effexor slowly and then have these symptoms HAMMER me weeks after being on it. She suggested that I try Lexapro but I was very much against that. I also broke down in tears during the conversation. These doctors don't understand what we're going through and that we're so broken. She thought it was just anxiety and depression but I know I'm not imagining blurred vision, body temperature changes, cortisol spikes that wake me up in the middle of the night, etc. She said I could go back to the 5 beads I was taking up until Christmas. I started that on Tuesday, but by Friday I was so out of it and desperate that I just started taking the entire 37.5 mg pills instead of the beads. I felt good yesterday but awful today.

 

You're right, let's think about this as a set back in terms of months as opposed to years. We will get through it. I'm going through the same things so talk to me and we'll get through this together.

 

How are you eating? My weight is a major concern to me. I'm dangerously underweight as it is and can't even afford to lose five pounds. I'm forcing myself to eat but still not eating enough to offset the amount of energy I'm exerting with the anxiety.

 

You mentioned that you had a 4 day window? Try to remember how great you felt during that time. Things can go back to that level and the windows will be much longer!

[Justin332]

23 minutes ago, ihpsdm said:

No friends. My psychiatrist is actually in another state since I kept the same one I've had since 2003. I broke down and called her last week and she just couldn't understand that I would be in WD after tapering off of Effexor slowly and then have these symptoms HAMMER me weeks after being on it. She suggested that I try Lexapro but I was very much against that. I also broke down in tears during the conversation. These doctors don't understand what we're going through and that we're so broken. She thought it was just anxiety and depression but I know I'm not imagining blurred vision, body temperature changes, cortisol spikes that wake me up in the middle of the night, etc. She said I could go back to the 5 beads I was taking up until Christmas. I started that on Tuesday, but by Friday I was so out of it and desperate that I just started taking the entire 37.5 mg pills instead of the beads. I felt good yesterday but awful today.

 

You're right, let's think about this as a set back in terms of months as opposed to years. We will get through it. I'm going through the same things so talk to me and we'll get through this together.

 

How are you eating? My weight is a major concern to me. I'm dangerously underweight as it is and can't even afford to lose five pounds. I'm forcing myself to eat but still not eating enough to offset the amount of energy I'm exerting with the anxiety.

 

You mentioned that you had a 4 day window? Try to remember how great you felt during that time. Things can go back to that level and the windows will be much longer!

My weight has been ok. Appetite is a little down. I haven’t had a true window in about a week.  I do have moments throughout the day where i feel good and then moments where i don’t at all. 

 

Im so sorry you’re going through this. I feel my family, who i talk to on the phone all the time, is getting tired of the issue. 

[ihpsdm]

1 hour ago, Justin332 said:

I just really want to feel like myself again and not a constant feeling in my chest and anxiety. 

 

I don’t want to feel hopeless anymore. I’m at a really really low point right now. 

14 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

My weight has been ok. Appetite is a little down. I haven’t had a true window in about a week.  I do have moments throughout the day where i feel good and then moments where i don’t at all. 

 

Im so sorry you’re going through this. I feel my family, who i talk to on the phone all the time, is getting tired of the issue. 

 

I'm sorry you are going through this as well.

 

I can see in this thread that you mentioned that you have a Type A personality. This probably means that you want to attack this problem head on and get rid of it ASAP.

 

If there's one thing I've learned from reading this site is that we have to keep things simple. For our situation, less is more. Much like anxiety in general, the harder we try and combat it, the harder it hits us back. As someone mentioned in my thread, we have to keep things simple, slow and stable:

 

We also need to accept things as they are. We're in a tough spot right now. We didn't do anything wrong. We simply followed doctor's orders and still we ended up in this living nightmare. This thread about acceptance has helped me:

 

It's really well written and helps me cope with what I'm going through now.

 

How has work been for you? This is where I'm having the biggest problems. It's hard enough suffering through this, but functioning at work is a whole other level of terror.

 

You can talk to me if you'd like. I'm sure what the rules of this forum are, but it helps to talk to someone who knows exactly what you're going through. Friends and family may have good intentions, but they aren't going to understand what you're going through. The doctors are clueless.  I'm not sure if there is a message option for this site, but you can message me or just keep responding to me in this thread or my thread.

 

As bad as we feel now, things will get better. One good thing about going through this is that I'm that much more appreciative of what it's like to feel "normal". I used to worry and agonize over trivial things but now I just want to feel normal again. It's amazing how far I've fallen in a few days. I went to the store the other day and the check out person could see how much trouble I was having that he told me "I hope you get better soon."

[Justin332]

13 hours ago, ihpsdm said:

 

I'm sorry you are going through this as well.

 

I can see in this thread that you mentioned that you have a Type A personality. This probably means that you want to attack this problem head on and get rid of it ASAP.

 

If there's one thing I've learned from reading this site is that we have to keep things simple. For our situation, less is more. Much like anxiety in general, the harder we try and combat it, the harder it hits us back. As someone mentioned in my thread, we have to keep things simple, slow and stable:

 

We also need to accept things as they are. We're in a tough spot right now. We didn't do anything wrong. We simply followed doctor's orders and still we ended up in this living nightmare. This thread about acceptance has helped me:

 

It's really well written and helps me cope with what I'm going through now.

 

How has work been for you? This is where I'm having the biggest problems. It's hard enough suffering through this, but functioning at work is a whole other level of terror.

 

You can talk to me if you'd like. I'm sure what the rules of this forum are, but it helps to talk to someone who knows exactly what you're going through. Friends and family may have good intentions, but they aren't going to understand what you're going through. The doctors are clueless.  I'm not sure if there is a message option for this site, but you can message me or just keep responding to me in this thread or my thread.

 

As bad as we feel now, things will get better. One good thing about going through this is that I'm that much more appreciative of what it's like to feel "normal". I used to worry and agonize over trivial things but now I just want to feel normal again. It's amazing how far I've fallen in a few days. I went to the store the other day and the check out person could see how much trouble I was having that he told me "I hope you get better soon."

Thank you for reminding me of the awesome resources this site has. We will all get through This. Just a few weeks ago i couldn’t sleep more than 3-4 hours a night. Last night i slept 10. Even though i wake up crazy anxious that is a HUGE improvement. 

 

We will all get there. 

[Justin332]

Is there any chance i should be on trintellix instead of Paxil? Yes i was on Paxil 17 years but i was on trintellix from August to December 1st. This hasn’t really been discussed. 

 

I wasnt terrible on trintellix at all. I did have some dark thoughts on it but it did help with anxiety tremendously. 

[Justin332]

I haven’t heard from any of the mods in a few days. Did i do something wrong?

[nz11]

10 minutes ago, Justin332 said:

I haven’t heard from any of the mods in a few days. Did i do something wrong?

They are on a 3day staff seminar ....I hear the food is great. Don’t take it personally.

[Justin332]

Just now, nz11 said:

They are on a 3day staff seminar ....I hear the food is great. Don’t take it personally.

Lol r u serious or joking?

[pinkfairy]

Hi Justin just stopping by to say hello....I was CT off Paxil at 40mg in just four weeks.....

 

you  will be ok it’s just hard to wrap our heads around it all.But you will be alright.well done on getting 10 hours sleep 

pink xxx

[ihpsdm]

1 hour ago, Justin332 said:

Thank you for reminding me of the awesome resources this site has. We will all get through This. Just a few weeks ago i couldn’t sleep more than 3-4 hours a night. Last night i slept 10. Even though i wake up crazy anxious that is a HUGE improvement. 

 

We will all get there. 

That's wonderful! See, you are getting better. I know it's hard to fell like things will get better when you are suffering through a wave, but this shows that things can get better for us. I hope you are entering an extended window now. You've been through a lot and deserve it.

 

We will end up better people for having gone through this. I know I already am beginning to treasure certain things that I used to take for granted. Little things that used to irritate me no longer do.

[nz11]

3 hours ago, Justin332 said:

Lol r u serious or joking?

Seriously  apparently the talks were world leading and an inside source (who I promised not to reveal) gave me some of the titles being : 

 

'Two light switches, to heavy to updose,  and too drugged to care

Things I wish my doctor had told me before he messed with my brain.' 

Scientists have now discovered the source  of 'Depression for many years' it originates in one place only - the doctors clinic

Squeezing water from a rock - How to deal with the drug signature challenged

Welcoming newbees - how to break the news gently that 'slowly ' means many many years' and medicines means poisons and doctor means danger!

'Words doctors refuse to say' talk by renowned author researcher and  doctor from Greece Dr Aka Theezia

Why don't you try some of your own medicine Mr doctor.

And Saturday they relaxed listening to a talk 'travelogues - adventures of a brassmonkey' 

Apparently there was a guest speaker  talking on 'The latest medical extinction, a doctor who listens, reads does his homework and says no to the pharma rep free muffins.

 

If I hear any other news i'll let you know.

I think it all winds up later today so staff will be back at their desks this time tomorrow. You wont have to wait long.

 

[Justin332]

6 minutes ago, nz11 said:

Seriously  apparently the talks were world leading and an inside source (who I promised not to reveal) gave me some of the titles being : 

 

'Two light switches, to heavy to updose,  and too drugged to care

Things I wish my doctor had told me before he messed with my brain.' 

Scientists have now discovered the source  of 'Depression for many years' it originates in one place only - the doctors clinic

Squeezing water from a rock - How to deal with the drug signature challenged

Welcoming newbees - how to break the news gently that 'slowly ' means many many years' and medicines means poisons and doctor means danger!

'Words doctors refuse to say' talk by renowned author researcher and  doctor from Greece Dr Aka Theezia

Why don't you try some of your own medicine Mr doctor.

And Saturday they relaxed listening to a talk 'travelogues - adventures of a brassmonkey' 

Apparently there was a guest speaker  talking on 'The latest medical extinction, a doctor who listens, reads does his homework and says no to the pharma rep free muffins.

 

If I hear any other news i'll let you know.

I think it all winds up later today so staff will be back at their desks this time tomorrow. You wont have to wait long.

 

You know, this is really hard and a lot of your posts have been very rude and accusatory. This one is sarcastic and cruel. This is not a laughing matter, and I’d prefer to be optimistic and not think I’m going to suffer for years. I’d like for you to please stop posting on this thread. Thank you. 

[nz11]

No worries.

No rudeness or personal attack intended.

Maybe we need an ignore button ..now theres a thought for the next years seminar topics

Have a great day. 

nz11

 

 

 

[ChessieCat]

4 hours ago, Justin332 said:

I haven’t heard from any of the mods in a few days.

 

The moderators are volunteers (unrostered) who assist members as they are able.  We are experiencing our own withdrawal and life issues and some of us work, full or part time.

[ChessieCat]

The moderators also have different areas in which they are more knowledgeable.  I am unable to assist with your question, which is why I haven't responded.

[Justin332]

40 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

The moderators also have different areas in which they are more knowledgeable.  I am unable to assist with your question, which is why I haven't responded.

I totally understand. Just wanted to make sure i haven’t done anything wrong. 

[Kristine]

1 hour ago, nz11 said:

No worries.

No rudeness or personal attack intended.

Maybe we need an ignore button ..now theres a thought for the next years seminar topics

Have a great day. 

 

Completely unnecessary comment nz...pull your head in. K

[Altostrata]

On 1/17/2018 at 1:11 PM, Justin332 said:

So I’m happy to report that last night i slept 8 hours! Used trazodone 100mg and ambien 10mg, which is down from 150mg

 

im still having anxiety in my chest and kind of negative thoughts, but more manageable and not completely ruining my day. 

 

^This is what happened on the second day of reducing Paxil to 10mg, divided doses.

 

On 1/21/2018 at 7:58 AM, Justin332 said:

Hey there, i hope you’re having a great weekend. I’m doing much worse after seeing the psychiatrist. He urged me to go to 20mg of Paxil and after speaking to a friend of mine who is a psych he urged me to do the same as well. 

 

They said the anxiety will will get worse before it gets better. I’ve reinststed Paxil now 23 days ago. 

 

I am constantly anxious. I’m taking Valium every day since reinstating the 20mg Paxil. I’m miserable. 

 

He also told me to stop the gabakentjn, stating that i was only on it 12 days so there’s no way there’s dependence. 

 

Ive never felt this bad in my life. What do i do?  I have a speech to give in front of 3,000 people in FOUR DAYS

 

What happened to taking 10mg Paxil in divided doses?

 

Yes, we will tell you something different from your psychiatrist. Very few psychiatrists know anything about withdrawal syndrome or even adverse drug reactions. Their solution is always to add more drugs. That is why you're in your current situation.

 

If you wish to follow your psychiatrist's instructions, you can do that, but your psychiatrist will have to dig you out if you get a bad reaction. We can't fix your psychiatrist's mistakes, then have you repeat them.

 

If I were you, I would not consider adding or switching a drug right now. But it's up to you.

[Justin332]

7 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

^This is what happened on the second day of reducing Paxil to 10mg, divided doses.

 

 

What happened to taking 10mg Paxil in divided doses?

 

Yes, we will tell you something different from your psychiatrist. Very few psychiatrists know anything about withdrawal syndrome or even adverse drug reactions. Their solution is always to add more drugs. That is why you're in your current situation.

 

If you wish to follow your psychiatrist's instructions, you can do that, but your psychiatrist will have to dig you out if you get a bad reaction. We can't fix your psychiatrist's mistakes, then have you repeat them.

 

If I were you, I would not consider adding or switching a drug right now. But it's up to you.

Hey there, i hope you’re having a great day. I took 20mg for a few days and side effects increased, and went back down to 10 and am feeling better.  The psychiatrist agreed to do this as well. 

 

Im sleeping way better, but every morning wake up with chest anxiety and dark thoughts. Will this fade? Will the Paxil eventually help with this? 

 

I m currently on day 23 of Paxil. 

[ChessieCat]

You might be experiencing this:  waking-with-panic-or-anxiety-managing-cortisol-spikes

 

[Rosetta]

2 hours ago, nz11 said:

Seriously  apparently the talks were world leading and an inside source (who I promised not to reveal) gave me some of the titles being : 

 

'Two light switches, to heavy to updose,  and too drugged to care

Things I wish my doctor had told me before he messed with my brain.' 

Scientists have now discovered the source  of 'Depression for many years' it originates in one place only - the doctors clinic

Squeezing water from a rock - How to deal with the drug signature challenged

Welcoming newbees - how to break the news gently that 'slowly ' means many many years' and medicines means poisons and doctor means danger!

'Words doctors refuse to say' talk by renowned author researcher and  doctor from Greece Dr Aka Theezia

Why don't you try some of your own medicine Mr doctor.

And Saturday they relaxed listening to a talk 'travelogues - adventures of a brassmonkey' 

Apparently there was a guest speaker  talking on 'The latest medical extinction, a doctor who listens, reads does his homework and says no to the pharma rep free muffins.

 

If I hear any other news i'll let you know.

I think it all winds up later today so staff will be back at their desks this time tomorrow. You wont have to wait long.

 

 

I find this extremely demoralizing.  It's been bothering me for hours.

[Altostrata]

nz, Off-Topic might be a better place for sarcasm.

Justin, you have to let your nervous system settle down to one consistent drug regimen.

 

You will need to give 10mg Paxil at least 4 days to get to a steady-state level. Hopefully, your symptoms will change for the better, but it could take a lot longer for your nervous system to settle down. Adding and changing and quitting and going up and down is not helping.

 

What exactly is your drug schedule now? I probably mentioned this before: Keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages.

 

We need this information to interpret your symptom pattern and figure out whether a drug is hurting or helping.

[Justin332]

12 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

nz, Off-Topic might be a better place for sarcasm.

Justin, you have to let your nervous system settle down to one consistent drug regimen.

 

You will need to give 10mg Paxil at least 4 days to get to a steady-state level. Hopefully, your symptoms will change for the better, but it could take a lot longer for your nervous system to settle down. Adding and changing and quitting and going up and down is not helping.

 

What exactly is your drug schedule now? I probably mentioned this before: Keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages.

 

We need this information to interpret your symptom pattern and figure out whether a drug is hurting or helping.

I understand. With the exception of the three days of 20mg Paxil, things have been consistent:

 

paxil 10mg every morning 

ambien 10mg at bed

trazodone 100mg at bed

valium as needed (have taken 5 mg last four days due to updosing)

 

been getting pretty consistent headaches in the afternoon. And the general doom and gloom feeling (especially in morning upon waking up) but also feel good many moments of day. Better if i keep busy. 

 

The psychiatrist said that that trintellix works on the same receptors as Paxil. If that’s true, didn’t i only truly withdraw for 27 days, from December first to December 28?

[Shep]

13 hours ago, Justin332 said:

paxil 10mg every morning 

ambien 10mg at bed

trazodone 100mg at bed

valium as needed (have taken 5 mg last four days due to updosing)

 

Justin, your "as needed" Valium and Ambien is concerning. 

 

Please add to your signature the dates and the doses when you've taken both of these drugs. It's best to list dates instead of "last 8 days" when you didn't mention a date, this is confusing. This is important because benzos (like Valium) and z-drugs (like Ambien) can cause dependency in as little as 2 - 4 weeks, even with "as needed" use, so it's best to keep track of this now to help guide you in your taper strategy. 

 

A direct link to your signature is here:

 

Account - settings - signature

 

 

 

 

Edited January 23, 2018 by Shep