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Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

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5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I woke with less anxiety this morning.  I had a mild cortisol spike very early this morning, and I woke up and worried for a long while.  I heated my shoulder wrap 3 times, and I took magnesium in the night.  

 

Last night, I had a big dinner - a burger at about 7 pm.  I wonder if I can eat protein late and stave off the cortisol spikes.  I might be having a low blood sugar issue early in the morning.  Does that seem logical to anyone?

 

That sounds like a good improvement!

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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What is good sources of protein? I get the cortisol spikes in the morning as well. I also feel like I have sugar lows through out the day but last time I had blood work done my glucose was elevated so that confuses me.

Ativan- Currently taking 3.17 mg 6x a day for 4 years currently doing a liquid taper 

Anafranil- 125 mg was on for 2 years, 2016-March 2018 off only in 2 weeks my last dose was March 6 

Metoprolol-50mg twice daily for 2008-now

Prilosec-40mg once daily 2013-now

Singular-10mg once daily 2013-now

Magnesium-300mg 6 months 

 

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17 hours ago, Rabe said:

And not only does it stabilize blood sugar but because our systems are on such high alert it tends to over react and sugars can bounce around.

 

Oh, Rabe, this makes so much sense!

I have had similar experiences. 

If I eat something sugary before bed, I'm bound to wake up starving and panicky in the middle of the night, 

or with a bad cortisol spike early in the morning, or something similar.  

And I also struggle to make it between meals without eating.  

Even if I do eat, I often feel very sick right before meal times.

What you said makes so much sense.

And it's comforting to know that more of us are having this issue. 

Though I sure wish I didn't have to deal with it.  

It's almost like being a diabetic... and yet not.  

So frustrating.  

 

I hope you are having a better day, Rosetta!

And that you had a good night sleep!

Thinking of you!

Anxiety since I was 5, and my Grandma died.  Depression since at least my early 20s. 

Wellbutrin for unknown length of time in 2009  Guess: 6-9 months.  Cold Turkeyed in Dec 2009. 

Citalopram 40mg end of 2014 until June 2017. Began within a few months after 4th child was born because I crashed. 

Quit CT.  Had no major symptoms until Sept. Took Gaba from spring until near end of Nov 2017

Took St. John's Wort mixed with who knows what else from mid-summer to end of Sept.. 

Clonazepam 0.25 mg once a day since Sept. 18.  To stay sane. 

Rough time since Sept. 18.  Tried to reinstate.  Repeatedly.  Failed.  Bad reaction.  Horrible cortisol spikes

I seem to react badly to anything I take right now.  Except Clonazepam.    

End of December, forgot to take Clonazepam for a few days. Thought I could do without. 

Appears I was wrong,  Jan. 1-2?   Trying to find the right way to deal with things.

Holding at 1/4 of 0.25mg pill morning and night.  Reinstated Jan. 5

Apr. 30, Got a scale.  Measuring roughly .25 mg of a .80mg pill that contains .25mg Clonazepam.  

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Thinking about you Rosetta!

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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On May 15, 2018 at 7:59 PM, Fightingawar said:

What is good sources of protein? I get the cortisol spikes in the morning as well. I also feel like I have sugar lows through out the day but last time I had blood work done my glucose was elevated so that confuses me.

 

 Hot dogs, yogurt, cheese, nuts, eggs and bacon.  Hamburger, too, but I don't cook much, and I never cook burgers.  

 

My theory is that your glucose will be all over the board from moment to moment until you are closer to being well.  Testing your blood glucose every hour might tell you something about a particular day, but the outpatient test that the doctor does won't be "correct" if your body is getting random signals from a brain in WD.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Journal:

 

Today, in retrospect, was not so terrible.  I had a bad night again -- one cortisol spike before 10:00 pm -- yes 10:00 pm!!  Right after I fell asleep!  I had a bad dream that spiked it in the middle of the night.  Another before I got up.   

 

Im afraid to go to sleep.

 

Activities today:

Took child to school

Breakfast out

Watched netflix

Took a walk at lake

Picked up child

Visted neighbor

Watched netflix

Epsom salt bath

Bed at 8:41 (late)

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Sleep well Rosetta...

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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  • Moderator Emeritus
2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Journal:

 

Today, in retrospect, was not so terrible.  I had a bad night again -- one cortisol spike before 10:00 pm -- yes 10:00 pm!!  Right after I fell asleep!  I had a bad dream that spiked it in the middle of the night.  Another before I got up.   

 

Im afraid to go to sleep.

 

Activities today:

Took child to school

Breakfast out

Watched netflix

Took a walk at lake

Picked up child

Visted neighbor

Watched netflix

Epsom salt bath

Bed at 8:41 (late)

 

 

Glad you didn’t have too bad a day Rosetta, 

 

Corticol spikes aren’t fun. 

 

The only reason I’m still sleeping is because I’m on seroquel and it works like a sleeping pill even on low doses. I will eventually end up with rebound insomnia which will be hell so I really feel for you.

 

Like you I also get weird and intense dreams at times. 

 

Looks like you use Neflix as a distraction too. It really is a great distraction. I also buy lots of DVDs. 

 

Hang in there.

 

Sending hugs🤗

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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Hey rosetta. Also glad your day wasn't terrible, and I share the same fear of sleep. Lying down is the worst for physical agitation (personally).

 

Hope you got some good rest last night.

Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg

May 2016-June 2016 15mg

June 2016-August 2016 10mg

October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey

January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg 

February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. 

May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total).

early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 

mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August

reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution

Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017  3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018

June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019

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Glad to hear you day was not too terrible, Rosetta!

Anxiety since I was 5, and my Grandma died.  Depression since at least my early 20s. 

Wellbutrin for unknown length of time in 2009  Guess: 6-9 months.  Cold Turkeyed in Dec 2009. 

Citalopram 40mg end of 2014 until June 2017. Began within a few months after 4th child was born because I crashed. 

Quit CT.  Had no major symptoms until Sept. Took Gaba from spring until near end of Nov 2017

Took St. John's Wort mixed with who knows what else from mid-summer to end of Sept.. 

Clonazepam 0.25 mg once a day since Sept. 18.  To stay sane. 

Rough time since Sept. 18.  Tried to reinstate.  Repeatedly.  Failed.  Bad reaction.  Horrible cortisol spikes

I seem to react badly to anything I take right now.  Except Clonazepam.    

End of December, forgot to take Clonazepam for a few days. Thought I could do without. 

Appears I was wrong,  Jan. 1-2?   Trying to find the right way to deal with things.

Holding at 1/4 of 0.25mg pill morning and night.  Reinstated Jan. 5

Apr. 30, Got a scale.  Measuring roughly .25 mg of a .80mg pill that contains .25mg Clonazepam.  

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Journal:

 

Something is changing.  I'm trying to avoid feeling fear.

 

Yesterday was not terrible either.  I volunteered at the school.  Then I went home feeling very sad, but I distracted myself with Netflix.  I fell asleep and then woke up almost immediately.

 

I didn't want to take the 45 minute drive to gymnastics, but I did.  My husband drove and I kept falling asleep in the car over and over.  When we arrived there, I had to stay in the car because I was too sleep, but I couldn't stay asleep.  An hour later I was awake and went to get something to eat with my family.  I was awake while we drove home.  At home, it happened again.  I could not stay awake.  I felt irritable, I wanted to be alone.  I wanted to go to sleep.  At bedtime, I could not wait to fall asleep.  

 

Last night, I had three cortisol spikes.  My first cortisol spike wasn't intense, but it was enough to get me into the loop of worrying.  I heated my shoulder wrap the next time I woke up, and it was 5:00 am the third time I woke up.  I was able to calm myself that last time, and I dozed a bit before wake up time at 6:45.  

 

I thought I would be shaken and easily rattled while trying to get my daughter ready for school.  She was receiving an award at the assembly this morning.  I could not miss it.  I wasn't nearly as shakey and irritable as I expected.  We had an easy morning overall.  Then, I went to breakfast.  I had extra protein.

 

Today, I am feeling very strange.  I can't describe why I feel strange.  

 

Last night, after the cortisol spikes, I worried. I felt such a strong sense of loss, of grief.  I think I try to attach this feeling to something, and I settle on lost photographs.  As if losing the photos means losing the memories.  I am grieving losing the time during which the photos were taken, I believe.  It's as if I can't handle the fact that time is passing.  Does this have something to do with the feeling that I am "dying" - a feeling that I used to have much of the time?  Has it changed into a feeling of losing time?  I have a fear of reaching the end of my life and having to leave my daughter. (I'm in tears.). I suppose this is all a part of neuro-emotions.  It is intensely painful.  

 

Can high cortisol cause these emotions?

 

I feel that my life is pointless and being wasted.  Existential crisis.  I can think about all the reasons my life is not pointless, but I can't internalize them.  I suppose all I can do is distract.  I'm so desperate to feel comfortable and "normal."

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thanks, @bheb, @Carmie @Waterfall @Rabe

 

I guess I am existing in the past.  I need to find a way to feel comfortable with my discomfort.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Oh Rosetta, 

I can so identify with these feelings. 

I can identify with the falling asleep thing.  

And also the fear and worry and cortisol spikes. 

The sense of loss.  

I feel like I am wasting my children's childhood, 

and that I'm going to ruin them with my own struggles.  

 

I also know exactly what you mean about telling yourself it's not pointless.

Knowing it, but having trouble -believing it-, and -feeling- it.  Internalizing it.  

I wish I knew how to help you, since it would help me too. 

 

I'm just so glad right now to feel a reprieve at the moment from the fear. 

The heaviness, the gloom and doom and dread and weight of it all.  

I know it will return, but hooray, hooray for windows!  

I wouldn't have believed, after how awful I felt this morning, 

that I could feel this good this afternoon!!

(Good being a relative term, comparing to how I normally feel lately)

 

Know that since I can have a window again, so can you!  

And if we can have one, we can have another!

And if we can have more, they will come more frequently, 

until someday, we'll be living in the windows!  

 

You, more than anyone else, has helped me believe that we'll get there, Rosetta. 

Sometimes I like to go back and read your first post, I think it was.  

The certainty you express, that we can get there.  

It'll take time.  And it's hard to wait.  

But you told me before too, that we aren't doing it wrong, 

we need to just keep on keeping on, and it will come.  

It will.  

Hugs, Rosetta.  

Anxiety since I was 5, and my Grandma died.  Depression since at least my early 20s. 

Wellbutrin for unknown length of time in 2009  Guess: 6-9 months.  Cold Turkeyed in Dec 2009. 

Citalopram 40mg end of 2014 until June 2017. Began within a few months after 4th child was born because I crashed. 

Quit CT.  Had no major symptoms until Sept. Took Gaba from spring until near end of Nov 2017

Took St. John's Wort mixed with who knows what else from mid-summer to end of Sept.. 

Clonazepam 0.25 mg once a day since Sept. 18.  To stay sane. 

Rough time since Sept. 18.  Tried to reinstate.  Repeatedly.  Failed.  Bad reaction.  Horrible cortisol spikes

I seem to react badly to anything I take right now.  Except Clonazepam.    

End of December, forgot to take Clonazepam for a few days. Thought I could do without. 

Appears I was wrong,  Jan. 1-2?   Trying to find the right way to deal with things.

Holding at 1/4 of 0.25mg pill morning and night.  Reinstated Jan. 5

Apr. 30, Got a scale.  Measuring roughly .25 mg of a .80mg pill that contains .25mg Clonazepam.  

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Waterfall has some good thoughts! But yes to add on -- I also get these moments of grief for this "lost" time. Not sure how directly related to cortisol spikes, but definitely seems like a response to all of this stress we're under

 

Sometimes these emotions keep me from acting at all, as though nothing is it worth it in this state. And that everything I do will be laced with uneasiness and alienation. You mentioned distraction and that's the only thing I've been able to do about it ...which I think is okay. The more  I struggle and dwell on the grief (even though it's rational in a way) the more it hurts.

Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg

May 2016-June 2016 15mg

June 2016-August 2016 10mg

October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey

January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg 

February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. 

May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total).

early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 

mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August

reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution

Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017  3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018

June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019

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3 hours ago, Rosetta said:

I need to find a way to feel comfortable with my discomfort

This resonated with me, Rosetta.  I have thought about this too and know I need to work on this.  It seems like you are doing what you can being with the discomfort....your ability to have gotten to where you are now in your healing process speaks volumes.  

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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I read your journal and cried Rosetta and continue to cry...for you, for me, for any of us trying so desperately....struggling so.  For me, I have all my photo albums here with me in this small apartment in a place where I feel so isolated, so far from home, friends, family, support.  I haven't opened them recently but seeing them reminds me that at one time I was happy, free, I felt love and joy and sadness and so much more, I mattered in the lives of others, others believed in me, could rely on me, felt I was deserving of their time and love, would take the time to stay in touch and make the effort to be together.  

I feel none of that now...in a sense I have died...I am none of what I was...I feel invisible...I feel as if I am not here.  If, by God's grace, I am able to navigate this journey, I have no clue who or what will remain at the end.  I miss me and my life that has been so altered by medications that have changed my body, my mind, and if that isn't insult enough, that make me feel sick nearly every minute of every day. I am tired of trying so hard to make it through each day rather than looking at the clock and wondering where did the time go as I was so happily living my busy, full, life that expanded my heart and soul and spirit, that allowed me to give so much because I had so much inside to give...spontaneously and freely.

I never know how I will wake up, what I will be like a minute after I wake up...and then the first medication starts the horrible roller coaster ride that stops only when sleep gratefully comes to stop the ride...until I sleep again...only to start the ride again after a few hours.

The potassium issues secondary to the psych meds and the ill effects of the medication taken for it seem to create a circle that never opens.  There is no one to share everything with because no one can understand...not friends, not family, not doctors...but I am grateful for I would wish this on no one.  So I isolate unless I can be 'acceptable', try to eat and try to believe that I won't miss another once in a lifetime event as I did my son's wedding.  My heart truly broke that day and I wonder if it will ever be whole again. 

I think about you all so much and hold you in my heart.  I miss my butterflies and birds...

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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and I SO miss seeing and hearing God in my life....

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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What I really wanted to say is that I care so much about you, Rosetta, and it is so hard to hear your heart speak as it has.

I want to say too that I don't believe you are avoiding fear...you face it every single day...you challenge it and you 

overcome it!  You are strong, dedicated, insightful, introspective...a beautiful soul who shines brightly.  Hugs!!!

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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@Rabe I'm sorry that my post brought up those feelings for you.  I can only hope that crying will help you get a release.  You will feel like yourself again someday.  I'm sorry you missed your son's wedding.  I'm glad you have all of us who understand, Rabe.

 

I was able to function today, and it is true that getting out, walking, & getting sunshine helps.  It's between midnight and noon that I feel bad.  Now, I'm tired in that way that I would be if I had a very busy, physical day for days on end. The glutamate problem probably causes that.  It wears me out everyday.  Goodnight.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Please don't be sorry...it wasn't you...they are there.  Maybe good to get them out.  Just feel so defeated over and over again with these health challenges and meds and side effects etc...like on a treadmill going nowhere.  I fear these last years of my life will be only this...

sleep well Rosetta.  Hugs!

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

Link to comment

The last two days have not been fun, but I am coping better than I usually do.  I think that's a good sign.

 

Yesterday, I stayed home, but I went for a walk.  I sorted some laundry.  That is a big deal for me -- being able to sort anything.  I usually can't think clearly enough and have intense anxiety if I try to sort.  I ate protein for dinner.  

 

Today, I went to the beach.  I didn't want to walk, but I did it anyway.  I had sunshine and exercise.  Those two things make a difference on most days.  

 

There was an emotional stressor today.  I'm still processing it.  Someone I care about has been hurt very badly, and I'm feeling as if I was hurt just as badly.  I feel very insecure because of it.  I'm trying to deal with it instead of just distracting because I know distracting won't work on this problem.  It's too close to home.

 

There's been a return of the dystonia that has been extremely mild for many days, but is worse the last two days.  I think I'm ovulating.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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You are so strong, Rosetta...sun and water...I can understand why you three go together so well! May the sun bring you the warmth and the water sooth your soul...as you do for others.  Bless you!  Hugs!

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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Oh Rosetta, I am so sorry about the person you care about being hurt very badly.  The good news is that you are coping better despite this.  It sounds like you are doing as well as you can under the circumstances.  Thinking about you - WR.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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How has today been Rosetta?  Hopefully better than the last 2 days!!  Thinking about you!

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 5/21/2018 at 1:39 PM, Rosetta said:

The last two days have not been fun, but I am coping better than I usually do.  I think that's a good sign.

 

Yesterday, I stayed home, but I went for a walk.  I sorted some laundry.  That is a big deal for me -- being able to sort anything.  I usually can't think clearly enough and have intense anxiety if I try to sort.  I ate protein for dinner.  

 

Today, I went to the beach.  I didn't want to walk, but I did it anyway.  I had sunshine and exercise.  Those two things make a difference on most days.  

 

There was an emotional stressor today.  I'm still processing it.  Someone I care about has been hurt very badly, and I'm feeling as if I was hurt just as badly.  I feel very insecure because of it.  I'm trying to deal with it instead of just distracting because I know distracting won't work on this problem.  It's too close to home.

 

There's been a return of the dystonia that has been extremely mild for many days, but is worse the last two days.  I think I'm ovulating.  

 

Hi Rosetta, 

I’m sorry you’re so ill. I’m glad you got out in nature though, it’s amazing being near the beach. 

 

I was sad to hear about your friend too. Yes, I feel deeply for my friends too when they’re in pain, and going through withdrawals our senses are heightened even more. Hope you’re able to deal with the emotions involved here. I find FasterEFT is the only thing that gets rid of strong emotions for me. Distractin doesnt do a thing, like you said. You can distract yourself but it doesn’t make the emotions go away. 

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

 

 

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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Saving this here.  It was posted by JanCarol.  Let's Talk Withdrawal podcast about EFT. Emotional Freedom Technique

 

http://jfmoore.libsyn.com/podcast-extra-002-sample-eft-session

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
16 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Saving this here

Isn't this great?! I have been listening to it and doing it. I think it is helping!

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

Link to comment

Thinking about you, hope you are feeling better. xoxo

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

Link to comment

I don't have clear windows these days, but I don't feel as bad as I used to either.  This is the third overcast day in a row.  Ugh.  I did sleep pretty well last night.  Shocker.  So, I'm trying to be grateful for the lack of extreme symptoms today. I'm trying not to think about what may happen in the future.  

 

Yes @DMV64, I think that EFT is likely to be effective.  

 

Thanks @Carmie @wantrelief and Rabe.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I am sorry you haven't had any clear windows as of late, Rosetta but it is good to hear you don't feel as bad as you used to either - what a wonderful sign of healing.  Also great to hear you slept well last - yay!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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Last night, sleep was better than it has been in a while because I didn't worry too much when I was awake.  I had to heat mt shoulder wrap 2-3 times, but I didn't feel as sad and frustrated as before.  I think I slept from 9:30 to about 1:30 or 2:00 am and then from about 3:00 to 6:30.  I feel lethargic today, but Inwent for a short walk anyway.  

 

There was some anxiety this morning as usual.  I took my daughter to school and went out to breakfast.  I had sausage and pumpkin pie.  Then a banana for lunch quite late - 2:00, and yet I didn't get too anxious.  That is very unusual.  However, I had had a burger for dinner last night.  Maybe all the extra protein is helping the anxiety or maybe I'm in the phase of my cycle that is easier.  The blood sugar is staying pretty balanced.  It makes for a much more pleasant day.  I walked my daughter home from school.  All in all, I feel relatively normal except for the lethargy.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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59 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Last night, sleep was better than it has been in a while because I didn't worry too much when I was awake.  I had to heat mt shoulder wrap 2-3 times, but I didn't feel as sad and frustrated as before.  I think I slept from 9:30 to about 1:30 or 2:00 am and then from about 3:00 to 6:30.  I feel lethargic today, but Inwent for a short walk anyway.  

 

There was some anxiety this morning as usual.  I took my daughter to school and went out to breakfast.  I had sausage and pumpkin pie.  Then a banana for lunch quite late - 2:00, and yet I didn't get too anxious.  That is very unusual.  However, I had had a burger for dinner last night.  Maybe all the extra protein is helping the anxiety or maybe I'm in the phase of my cycle that is easier.  The blood sugar is staying pretty balanced.  It makes for a much more pleasant day.  I walked my daughter home from school.  All in all, I feel relatively normal except for the lethargy.

Hi Rosetta,

Glad to hear you had a pretty good day.  I think getting decent sleep can make a big difference.

Hazel

Zoloft 50 mg Fall 2003-October 2016

I went up to 150 mg for several months during the winter of 2016 after going through a tough time trying to stabilize.

Lexapro 5 mg and then 10 mg October 2016-December 2016

Paxil December 2016 to present.  Started at 10 mg went up to 20 mg for three weeks and started reducing by 5mg every 2 weeks per doctors orders.  Got down to 7.5 mg and ran into trouble, found this website and updosed to 10 mg.

 9mg paroxetine June 18-6.5 mg in am 2.5 mg pm.  

July 20 began switch to Citalopram-9 mg Paxil and 5 mg citalopram

July 24-7.5mg paroxetine and 7.5mg Citalopram 

July 27-5mg paroxetine and 10 citalopram 

July 30-2.5 paroxetine and 10 of Citalopram 

August 2-2mg paroxetine and 10mg Citalopram, dropped paroxetine Aug. 3

August 8 increased to 15 mg citalopram

Take 1mg lorazepam as needed and 3mg melatonin at night.

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20 hours ago, Hazel said:

Hi Rosetta,

Glad to hear you had a pretty good day.  I think getting decent sleep can make a big difference.

Hazel

 

Thanks, Hazel.  Last night sleep was poor because I had cortisol spike in the middle of the night and my daughter had trouble sleeping.  So, I had several more cortisol spikes.  I'm so tired.  I volunteered at the school, and now I wish I could have a nap. I have to pick up my daughter in an hour.  I can't interact on SA today, but I'm thinking of you all, and hoping you are well.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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15 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

cortisol spikes

Gosh I really relate. I have one every single morning. It's just a question of, will it pass or will it go into deeper anxiety.

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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28 minutes ago, DMV64 said:

Gosh I really relate. I have one every single morning. It's just a question of, will it pass or will it go into deeper anxiety.

Same here.  This morning for the first time in a long time, the anxiety was more manageable.  I hate cortisol spikes! Thanks 

Zoloft 50 mg Fall 2003-October 2016

I went up to 150 mg for several months during the winter of 2016 after going through a tough time trying to stabilize.

Lexapro 5 mg and then 10 mg October 2016-December 2016

Paxil December 2016 to present.  Started at 10 mg went up to 20 mg for three weeks and started reducing by 5mg every 2 weeks per doctors orders.  Got down to 7.5 mg and ran into trouble, found this website and updosed to 10 mg.

 9mg paroxetine June 18-6.5 mg in am 2.5 mg pm.  

July 20 began switch to Citalopram-9 mg Paxil and 5 mg citalopram

July 24-7.5mg paroxetine and 7.5mg Citalopram 

July 27-5mg paroxetine and 10 citalopram 

July 30-2.5 paroxetine and 10 of Citalopram 

August 2-2mg paroxetine and 10mg Citalopram, dropped paroxetine Aug. 3

August 8 increased to 15 mg citalopram

Take 1mg lorazepam as needed and 3mg melatonin at night.

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Sorry.  Don’t know why that ended with a thanks, but I will say, I hope you sleep well tonight Rosetta 😊

Zoloft 50 mg Fall 2003-October 2016

I went up to 150 mg for several months during the winter of 2016 after going through a tough time trying to stabilize.

Lexapro 5 mg and then 10 mg October 2016-December 2016

Paxil December 2016 to present.  Started at 10 mg went up to 20 mg for three weeks and started reducing by 5mg every 2 weeks per doctors orders.  Got down to 7.5 mg and ran into trouble, found this website and updosed to 10 mg.

 9mg paroxetine June 18-6.5 mg in am 2.5 mg pm.  

July 20 began switch to Citalopram-9 mg Paxil and 5 mg citalopram

July 24-7.5mg paroxetine and 7.5mg Citalopram 

July 27-5mg paroxetine and 10 citalopram 

July 30-2.5 paroxetine and 10 of Citalopram 

August 2-2mg paroxetine and 10mg Citalopram, dropped paroxetine Aug. 3

August 8 increased to 15 mg citalopram

Take 1mg lorazepam as needed and 3mg melatonin at night.

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