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Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

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I'm off to bed (with very intense RLS tonight for some reason, strange).  I got through one more day!!  It was not a pleasant one, but I did a lot -- kid to & from school, volunteered at school, walked to & from the school, kid's homework prodding, kid's piano practice prodding, kid's gymnastics, dinner out.  I'm functioning just barely.  At least there is that.

 

Wish I had time to take an Epsom salt bath or that I had mag lotion.  Goodnight.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Yes - one more day down!  I am amazed by all you accomplished, that is a lot to be proud of, Rosetta!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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I wish I had some Mag Lotion to give you!!!  Im sorry your days have been challenging!!  For barely functioning you still manage to function so well and give so much!!  You are so special!  Hope tonight brings sleep and and calm.  Think of you so often!!  You are so special!  

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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My mind is working SO well! ;) Repeating myself!!  UGH!!

 

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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The last two nights and days have been pretty bad.  I have Akathisia again.  It's tough.  Day before yesterday, I woke up with it after going to bed with RLS.  Then, all that day I was electrified, internally restless with very tense, painful muscles. It tends to go away in the early or late afternoon and then return as RLS at night.  In the night the past three nights I have had cortisol spikes, and ruminations about losing photographs, losing time and losing my daughter or husband.  I woke up the past three mornings feeling electrified, internally restless, etc.  Sometimes, I feel sick to my stomach.  

 

Yesterday, I did not have enough protein, and the day before I had enough - I thought -- meatballs with pasta for dinner that night.  The night before I had had a hot dog for dinner with no carbs.  I have not been very good about having magnesium.  Maybe that is the problem.  I had a mag bath yesterday.

 

Thanks, Rabe.  I will get out of this mess somehow.  My mind doesn't work well either, but well even to do just enough.  

 

Wantrelief, I actually feel better when I'm doing something.  I have read that on several threads before, and I though "How do they even begin to do anything?", but eventually that becomes possible.  It's a sign of progress.  I'm back in an ugly wave right now, and yet I took my daughter to the park yesterday after school.  It's easier for me to be there watching her play than at home.  My home is such a wreck that I'm anxious when I'm there.  So, going out is better.  We were there about 3 hours.  

 

Hazel, The cortisol spikes and the result of them are the worst symptoms I have right now.  I sometimes think that once they end I'll be able to fix a lot of the things that are bothering me about my house.  

 

DMV, Exactly -. Will the anxiety get worse after I get up?  Usually, it doesn't, but sometimes that's what happens.  The last few days it's been that way.

 

Onward . . .

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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22 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

The last two nights and days have been pretty bad.  I have Akathisia again.  It's tough.  Day before yesterday, I woke up with it after going to bed with RLS.  Then, all that day I was electrified, internally restless with very tense, painful muscles. It tends to go away in the early or late afternoon and then return as RLS at night.  In the night the past three nights I have had cortisol spikes, and ruminations about losing photographs, losing time and losing my daughter or husband.  I woke up the past three mornings feeling electrified, internally restless, etc.  Sometimes, I feel sick to my stomach.  

 

Yesterday, I did not have enough protein, and the day before I had enough - I thought -- meatballs with pasta for dinner that night.  The night before I had had a hot dog for dinner with no carbs.  I have not been very good about having magnesium.  Maybe that is the problem.  I had a mag bath yesterday.

 

Thanks, Rabe.  I will get out of this mess somehow.  My mind doesn't work well either, but well even to do just enough.  

 

Wantrelief, I actually feel better when I'm doing something.  I have read that on several threads before, and I though "How do they even begin to do anything?", but eventually that becomes possible.  It's a sign of progress.  I'm back in an ugly wave right now, and yet I took my daughter to the park yesterday after school.  It's easier for me to be there watching her play than at home.  My home is such a wreck that I'm anxious when I'm there.  So, going out is better.  We were there about 3 hours.  

 

Hazel, The cortisol spikes and the result of them are the worst symptoms I have right now.  I sometimes think that once they end I'll be able to fix a lot of the things that are bothering me about my house.  

 

DMV, Exactly -. Will the anxiety get worse after I get up?  Usually, it doesn't, but sometimes that's what happens.  The last few days it's been that way.

 

Onward . . .

Ugh Rosetta, I am sorry. It is good you feel better while doing things, I am the same way and it at least gives me motivation to be productive. I woke to a cortisol spike that doesn't want to go away this morning, so I can totally relate there. A week ago I was doing so well for an extended amount of time, never thought I would be back to this again. This process is just so frustrating isn't it. You have a great attitude...ONWARD!

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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35 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

The last two nights and days have been pretty bad.  I have Akathisia again.  It's tough.  Day before yesterday, I woke up with it after going to bed with RLS.  Then, all that day I was electrified, internally restless with very tense, painful muscles. It tends to go away in the early or late afternoon and then return as RLS at night.  In the night the past three nights I have had cortisol spikes, and ruminations about losing photographs, losing time and losing my daughter or husband.  I woke up the past three mornings feeling electrified, internally restless, etc.  Sometimes, I feel sick to my stomach.  

I am so sorry, Rosetta.  Hang on to the fact that this went away before so it will again.  I am thinking about you.  Big hugs - WR.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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At about 11:00 pm I was crying very hard.  Now, I've been crying very hard again from about 9:30 to 9:30 am.

 

My daughter wet the bed and Im realizing that we have to buy a new mattress.  It was her whole bladder.  I don't see how I can fix it with vinegar and baking soda.  I'm in no condition to go to buy a new mattress today.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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22 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

At about 11:00 pm I was crying very hard.  Now, I've been crying very hard again from about 9:30 to 9:30 am.

 

My daughter wet the bed and Im realizing that we have to buy a new mattress.  It was her whole bladder.  I don't see how I can fix it with vinegar and baking soda.  I'm in no condition to go to buy a new mattress today.

I am sorry Rosetta, just know you are SO strong and can get through this! 

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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Ugh, so sorry Rosetta.  I second what Dave said....you can get through this!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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  • Moderator

Magnesium Lotion or MgOil as it's sometimes called is really easy to make.

 

Bring one cup of water to a boil, stir in 3/4 of a cup of epsom salts and let it cool. Couldn't be easier.  Any MgOil will leave a residue on the skin after it dries which should be gently rubbed off with a soft cloth.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Thank you!  @brassmonkey

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Thank you to everyone who gives me support for reading and making a note.  This is such a lonely illness.  I really appreciate all the support you give me.  

 

I am so very tired.  My symptoms of today have calmed for the moment, but I am so tired.  I can't do enough to improve my situation because by this time of day I'm exhausted.  I'm trying to push a little harder to fix just a bit here or there.  My husband is tired, too.  He's depressed.  He simply can't take care of me as well as necessary.  I'm lucky he does so when he can.  He has started taking naps.  It's good, I hope.  Naps are good; no cause for alarm.  He's been caring for me for many, many months.  Years, even.  This has really been happening for years.  I simply didn't know what it was.  Damn the doctors!  Damn them!

 

We will get through this.  It's going to take its toll.  I'm struggling to accept that.  We didn't go out today.  We needed a day of rest no matter the issues.  We are all low energy even my daughter.  I took her to the park for a short while.  I had a little sunshine.  Now, I will try to take a walk.  

 

Thank you for being a friend when I've needed one, each of you.  None of my flesh and blood friends is as good at that right now.  I suppose they are all living life at full tilt.  It seems that way.  I'm grateful I don't have to do that because I wouldn't be able to.  

 

Everything has been kicked up a few notches lately -- These have been worse: 

Cortisol spikes, anxiety, fear, ruminations, Akathisia, insomnia, muscle tension and dystonia

 

Overall, however, a few things that have improved since 3 months ago:

 

Dystonia -- the baseline has improved

Fatigue -- baseline improved slightly

Tinnitus -- has not worsened -  off and on, mild

Itchy ears -- improved a lot

Appetite -- baseline has improved, comes and goes

DP/DR -- non existent

SI -- rare (happens in the night past few days and this morning for a couple of hours)

Gastrointestinal -- much improved except for diarrhea from magnesium intake 

Akathisia -- less frequent, less severe most of the time

Anhedonia -- less frequent

Headaches -- infrequent

Cog fog -- comes and goes -- no longer constant, less severe most of the time

Sight -- left eye is slightly improved

Irritability -- less frequent, less severe

OCD -- less frequent, less severe

Demotivation -- baseline very, very slightly improved

Muscle twitches, tremors -- less frequent

Muscle tension -- sometimes goes away completely for hours, less frequent (not less severe)

Pain from muscle tension -- see above

Bruxism -- very rare now

Pounding heart -- very, very rare

Crying -- less frequent (not less severe)

 

There may be some others I'm forgetting.

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Breaks my heart reading all the suffering you are going through! 

 

I want to say the same loud, damn the big pharma and the doctors!

 

Sending love and hugslex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Oh my dear friend, I am so terribly sorry your suffering keeps dragging on ☹️ how I wish I could take away all your pain and throw it in the trash for good. Damn those doctors indeed...lets throw them in the trash as well..at least the ones who are not willing to learn. ((((Big warms hugs))))) Much Love. K xo

  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg,  10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
On 5/24/2018 at 5:03 AM, Rosetta said:

I don't have clear windows these days, but I don't feel as bad as I used to either.  This is the third overcast day in a row.  Ugh.  I did sleep pretty well last night.  Shocker.  So, I'm trying to be grateful for the lack of extreme symptoms today. I'm trying not to think about what may happen in the future.  

 

Yes @DMV64, I think that EFT is likely to be effective.  

 

Thanks @Carmie @wantrelief and Rabe.  

I’m sorry you’re struggling so much Rosetta, 

 

I’m so glad to hear that some of your symptoms have subsided since three months ago though, 

 

Sending u lots of hugs🤗🤗🤗

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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13 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Everything has been kicked up a few notches lately -- These have been worse: 

Cortisol spikes, anxiety, fear, ruminations, Akathisia, insomnia, muscle tension and dystonia

Oh Rosetta - I am so sorry these awful symptoms have increased lately.  I was happy to read, however, of some of the improvements you have seen over the last 3 months....just keep holding on to those improvements as soon more will be added to your list.  

 

13 hours ago, Rosetta said:

This is such a lonely illness

So very true but you are not alone here.

 

Big hugs,

WR

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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Thinking of you as well Rosetta and sending hugs. 🤗

Zoloft 50 mg Fall 2003-October 2016

I went up to 150 mg for several months during the winter of 2016 after going through a tough time trying to stabilize.

Lexapro 5 mg and then 10 mg October 2016-December 2016

Paxil December 2016 to present.  Started at 10 mg went up to 20 mg for three weeks and started reducing by 5mg every 2 weeks per doctors orders.  Got down to 7.5 mg and ran into trouble, found this website and updosed to 10 mg.

 9mg paroxetine June 18-6.5 mg in am 2.5 mg pm.  

July 20 began switch to Citalopram-9 mg Paxil and 5 mg citalopram

July 24-7.5mg paroxetine and 7.5mg Citalopram 

July 27-5mg paroxetine and 10 citalopram 

July 30-2.5 paroxetine and 10 of Citalopram 

August 2-2mg paroxetine and 10mg Citalopram, dropped paroxetine Aug. 3

August 8 increased to 15 mg citalopram

Take 1mg lorazepam as needed and 3mg melatonin at night.

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20 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Overall, however, a few things that have improved since 3 months ago:

Hi Rosetta,

I'm so sorry to hear you are having some worsening symptoms but, wow, that list of improvements is wonderful. I'm praying that you and your family get some relief very soon. 🧡

Dalalea

Dalalea's Introduction

Off All SSRI Medications: Effexor 2010 one month
Sertraline 50 mg. but only took 25 mg. daily because of dizziness. 2010 to July 2017

Tapered over 2 months beginning the 1st of June 2017 -- Off Sertraline by July 30, 2017

Current Medication: Losartan (blood pressure), Albuterol (for asthma- only as needed)
Current Symptoms: tinnitus, hearing loss in one ear, allergies

My Plan: Prayer, Scripture, Walk, Yoga, Encourage Others, Healthy Eating
Generic SSRI Withdrawal Symptom and Plan Checklists and Graph.xlsx

Current Supplements: Magnesium Threonate, Fish Oil, probiotic, B-12, C, D-3

Current Essential Oils: Frankincense, Bergamot, Orange, Lemon, Lavender, Peppermint, Clove
Current Essential Oil Blends: Brain Power, Clarity, Stress Away

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Thank you for all the well wishes.  I had to sleep in a different bed last night.  There were at least 4 cortisol spikes through the night, but the anxiety is low today.  That's unexpected.  Perhaps the two are unrelated?

 

I am avoiding the festivities.  My daughter and I went to the park which is full of people.  She's not having a very good day.  She's very fussy.  

 

I'm sleepy.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I'm sad that you are having a bad wave Rosetta...Grateful you were able to 'do the park' with your daughter.  Hoping things settle again for you...

HI ROSETTA!!  Wrote the above yesterday and forgot to send it!!! Im sorry...get s scary having worked with dementia for so long.

 

Im sorry the cortisol spikes and all that goes with them is continuing...it just makes me feel so sad that you are struggling so, and there is so little I can do to except to say I care, I think about your, hold you in my heart, and everyday put your healing into the universe.  Take care...thinking lots of some sleep for you tonight!!!  HUGS AND HUGS AND MORE HUGS!!!! 

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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Journal:

 

Yesterday wasn't terrible.  I handled my daughter's fussiness all right meaning it didn't make me anxious, I didn't say the wrong thing or make things worse.  That's progress.  My daughter wanted to do a craft, and I was able to let her do that without increasing my anxiety.  She made a terrarium.  She was having trouble getting along with other kids at the park, but it didn't make me very anxious.  

 

My right hip feels as if I pulled a muscle.  I think this is part of the resolution of the dystonia.  I had a similar issue with my neck several months ago.  Slowly, slowly the muscles are relaxing.  Something shifted and one muscle feels strained because of that.

 

My husband was gone all afternoon until late at a party his mother threw for the Memorial Day weekend.  I didn't want to go.  

 

We went to bed late. I had at least 3 cortisol spikes in the night, but I didn't need to heat my shoulder wrap to get back to sleep.  The same was true night before last.  I had a lot of anxiety when I was awake in the night.  A feeling of futility, etc.. Worrying about lost photographs, lost time, fear for the future, etc..

 

I'm going to try to do something today to feel happy.  The truth is that I am very lucky and have a good life when my brain will let me enjoy it.  Being home for two days hasn't been good for me. I'm feeling overwhelmed by the stuff in the house and the effort it will take to sort and give it all away.  

 

I keep trying to be compassionate to myself and to remember that my brain simply isn't able to sort very easily.   That's where the anxiety lives -- in this space where I can't do what I used to be able to do so easily.  The very thought of trying to sort causes anxiety today.  So, my first inclination is to not think about it and, of course, not sort. But this has gone on so long and I'm making so much progress in other areas of WD -- physical issues mostly -- that I wonder if I should push myself to do a little sorting in order to build confidence.  

 

My self worth is tied up in how my house looks.  This is the crux of my anxiety.  There are only a few people who I can let in.  My social life might improve if I could get things sorted and given away.  I want to invite kids for playdates this Summer.  I couldn't do that all last Summer, and so my daughter didn't get many invitations either.  It's this catch 22 that is plaguing me for yet another Summer.  This will be the third Summer if I can't fix it, but maybe I can't, and I'm going to try to be okay with that.  

 

If I could get rid of things that would make managing everything else much easier.  I'd like to be able to go through with a trash bag and just pick out everything to give away.  I'm terrified that will cause me to break down the way I do when I have to look for something.   The very fact that I can consider getting rid of things is a world apart from how I thought when I took 150 mg of Zoloft.  

 

I have lost so much weight that most of my pants fall off of me.  Shopping makes me anxious, but it's getting ridiculous that I have to pull them up all the time.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Hi Rosetta-- The big problem with cleaning the place up is that six months later you have to do it all again. LOL 🤪  Seriously though, for the mind going trough ADWD it can be a very overpowering prospect, so much to do, where to start etc.  What I found helpful was to break it down into the smallest tasks possible. I don't like that piece of paper on the floor, pick it up, put it in the trash, there done, stop.  Then in a few minutes try it again.  If you start getting tense about it, stop and relax, but you've thrown away two pieces of paper which is a good thing.

 

The bathroom needs cleaned: the next time you're in there, swish out the john, don't scrub it, just a quick wipe down in 30 seconds.  There job done go relax. Then when you brush your teeth in the  morning a quick wipe down of the sink and you're done.  With in a week that bathroom will be sparkling and you didn't do a thing.

 

Dishes need put away. Four plates and you're done.  All the spoons and take a break.

 

Put a box or bag in the kitchen for things to be thrown away or donated.  As you're enjoying playing with your daughter and something catches your eye that you should get rid of, put it in the box and go back to playing.  Once the box is full then throw it all out.

 

Taken as a whole it can be an overwhelming situation, but taken one item at a time it's a lot simpler.  Pick up something, do something with it then do it again, or not.  It's very hard for the ADWD affected mind to comprehend something that the nondrugged mind would find so simple.  But once it gets pointed out and practiced a little it all starts to fall back into place and can be an important part of recovery.  Just as recovery is one step at a time, a clean house is one item at a time.

 

Brass

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Hi Rosetta...it all is so overwhelming...yet you manage to overcome.  I know you can move ahead with this as well.   I found what Brass said to be so helpful...read it several times and copied it for later.  It is so easy to feel a failure in light of what we used to be and used to do as opposed to now.  Fact is we are doing more than most people will ever do.  

I find not only is it difficult to do things but I keep getting drawn off by something else or by a mind that simply stops.  I was singing Rock a By baby to my grand daughter yesterday and suddenly the words disappeared. :( I just kept trying until it came out again...she never knew the difference...but I was terrified and anxious re a mind that doesn't work and fear of dementia.  

I'm so sad to hear your struggles Rosetta...tears and empathy just pour to you in hopes of washing it away somehow...knowing will not be now...but none the less hoping it will somehow help knowing how very much you are loved, thought of, and supported!!!  Holding you and your struggles near as you deal it all...I know this too will come for you because it will...just as other things have.  Will smile and cheer loudly, as always, with your next step whatever the size...even shelving it is a step....a decision that's ok.  HUGS AND LOVE Rosetta!!! ♥️

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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Thanks, Brassmonkey and Rabe.  Just what I needed!  Thank you!

 

Today, I said I was going to do something to make me happy.  So, we had eggs and bacon for breakfast and then went to the beach.  No, it didn't make me happy, but I'm still glad we did it.  It was something to do - a distraction.  We went to my MILs and I tried to take a nap, but I couldn't.  I started feeling depressed so I got up and spent time with my daughter.  She was drawing and coloring a dragon and then we played badmitton.  Anxiety was mild, still there, but mild.  Now it's time to get ready for bed. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I am sorry you are struggling, but I want you to know you are an inspiration to me, how you keep on going and find ways to move through. I am glad you are here, wishing you a peaceful day,

-D

2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg.  2011- increase to 1 mg.  2018- increase to 1.5 mg 

2010- Trials of SSRI's, several.

2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete!

2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete!

2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg.

2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg

2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT.

2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin.

2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding.

Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium

 

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Thanks, @DMV64 I'm glad you are here, too.

 

Journal:

 

I'm feeling better.  Last nights sleep was better.  I've been gradually feeling better the last 2-3 days and nights.  The insomnia wasn't as emotionally painful last night, and I didn't need the shoulder wrap.  Today has been rather easy.  I went to get the mattress ordered and a new dishwasher, had lunch and picked up my daughter.  Now we have music class soon.  I'm doing ok.  Hope it lasts for a while.  I'm anhedonic, I suppose.  Nothing seems interesting or positive, but I'm not anxious and scared either.  Still very sad at this situation.

 

Physically, no big problems.  A little muscle tension from using SA that should resolved when I'm done.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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5 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Thanks, @DMV64 I'm glad you are here, too.

 

Journal:

 

I'm feeling better.  Last nights sleep was better.  I've been gradually feeling better the last 2-3 days and nights.  The insomnia wasn't as emotionally painful last night, and I didn't need the shoulder wrap.  Today has been rather easy.  I went to get the mattress ordered and a new dishwasher, had lunch and picked up my daughter.  Now we have music class soon.  I'm doing ok.  Hope it lasts for a while.  I'm anhedonic, I suppose.  Nothing seems interesting or positive, but I'm not anxious and scared either.  Still very sad at this situation.

 

Physically, no big problems.  A little muscle tension from using SA that should resolved when I'm done.

 

Well that is a good thing, I know what you mean, when the anxiety does abate I notice some that nothing seems positive...but I will take it over the anxiety and fear. I am very sad for you as well, hopefully you start getting your clear windows again soon.

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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Thank you @DaveB. You are so kind.  At least it's easier to distract from sadness.  

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Thanks, @DMV64 I'm glad you are here, too.

 

Journal:

 

I'm feeling better.  Last nights sleep was better.  I've been gradually feeling better the last 2-3 days and nights.  The insomnia wasn't as emotionally painful last night, and I didn't need the shoulder wrap.  Today has been rather easy.  I went to get the mattress ordered and a new dishwasher, had lunch and picked up my daughter.  Now we have music class soon.  I'm doing ok.  Hope it lasts for a while.  I'm anhedonic, I suppose.  Nothing seems interesting or positive, but I'm not anxious and scared either.  Still very sad at this situation.

 

Physically, no big problems.  A little muscle tension from using SA that should resolved when I'm done.

 

Here it is bedtime and I have to say it's been a pretty good day.  I did not expect that.  It's not normalcy by far, but it's a bit of a rest.  My daughter and I went to the park before dinner, and I was able to walk.  I had a lot of protein today -- eggs, beans, fish and turkey.  Maybe I can have another night without too much distress.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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34 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Here it is bedtime and I have to say it's been a pretty good day.

That is great news, Rosetta!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
5 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 

Here it is bedtime and I have to say it's been a pretty good day.  I did not expect that.  It's not normalcy by far, but it's a bit of a rest.  My daughter and I went to the park before dinner, and I was able to walk.  I had a lot of protein today -- eggs, beans, fish and turkey.  Maybe I can have another night without too much distress.

 

That’s fabulous news Rosetta, 

 

It really helps us to see that we will eventually heal when we start seeing some windows. When in a wave we feel they are never going to come, everything seems so dark, but eventually a bit of light always shines through. 

 

It looks like you’ve been through quite a rough time lately. I hope you stabilise soon. 

 

It looks like protein does you good too. My diet mainly consists of fruit and veggies and animal proteins. I love smoothies made with coconut water, I throw in some berries and bananas. Nice n quick when you’re too sick to cook. 

 

Hope ur tomorrow is another pretty good day for you💚💚

 

 

Been on APs, benzos, ADs and opiates, for chronic pain. Had Akathisia in the past that made me suicidal. Still on Seroquel. 2019:➡️ March10=7.25mg ✔️ April17=7.0✔️ June5=6.75✔️ July14=6.50✔️ Aug28=6.25✔️ Oct10=6.20  ✔️ Oct21=6.0✔️ Dec16=5.80 ✔️ 2020➡️ Jan 21=5.60 ✔️ April2=5.40 ✔️ May29=5.20 ✔️ Aug14= 5.0 ✔️Sep29=4.80✔️2021➡️ Jan31=4.60 mg✔️ April24=4.40mg✔️Jul17=4.30mg ✔️ Aug 28=4.20 ✔️ Oct 11=4.15✔️Nov1=4.10 ✔️ Nov21= 4.05✔️ Dec13= 4mg ✔️2022 ➡️ Jan8=3.95✔️ Jan31=3.90✔️ March2=3.85 ✔️ April4=3.80 ✔️ June16=3.75✔️ July26=3.70✔️ Sep2=3.65✔️ Oct21=3.60 ✔️ Dec8=3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️ March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor.

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I just read your past posts and SOOOOOO great to read you are sleeping better and feeling better!  GOSH I'm so happy for you Rosetta!  

 

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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Wrote that  last night I think and forgot to send...I do that alot!  Sorry....Scary!!!  I was catching up and thought where is my post?  Went to write something and there it was!  UGH!!!

Hope today has gone well too Rosetta!  ♥️

 

 

-Nardil 1976 < year, stopped. React to AD's. Klonopin .5BID 1990, 2.5mg til 2016

-Klonopin doubled Jan '16. Taper to 2.25mg May to Nov '16. Bad react to Lexapro, stop. React to Prevacid too, taper off. 

-November '16 Tapered .25mg Klonopin in hospital. Jan '17 started Viibryd, 20mg from Feb to June '17,     

-20mg to 10mg Viibryd from 3/25 to 6/10 2017, 12/15 10% Viibryd taper...back up next day

-Clonazepam 2mg to 1.85mg 4/14 '17 to end November; taper to 1mg Clonazepam in hospital 9/1 tp 9/14 '17

-Feb '18 Amiloride .25mg  5/18 off Amiloride d/t react. Clonaz compounded  

-4/27 '18 Viibryd 9.5mg, 6/11 9.0 mg, 1/27 '19 Viibryd 8.75mg, ; Clonazepam .2mg 530pm and .7mg 1130pm, Premarin .3mg 830PM CARAFATE QID 2/27/19 to 3/5/19

-July 6'19 1/2 10mg Claritin 230pm, stopped it about July 18, started Oct 11 '19, 

-7/27 Viibryd 8.5, 8/29 8.25, 10/24 8.0, 12/19 7.75, Feb '20 7.50, 3/20 7.25, 5/20 7.0, 6/20 6.75, 7/20 6.5, 8/20 6.25, 10/2 20 6.0, 11/25'20 5.75, 1/9/21 5.5, 2/23 5.25

-1015 AM Viibryd, vit D 4,000IU 130, 415 Clonazepam .2mg, 815 Premarin .3mg, 1015 Clonaz .7mg,

  1115 3t fish oil+D 1145 Castor Oil 650mg(4) 1230 Carafate 1/2GM,Methylated B Vit  1/week,Reacted Mag prn

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Yesterday was ok.  I had slept ok the night before, and I went for a walk by the lake.  I picked my daughter up from school, and we went to the park.  Today, I had another decent day after a decent nights' sleep.   I planned to volunteer at school, but the teacher had nothing for me to do.  After school, I picked my daughter up and we went 1/2 hour away to visit a friend of mine whose child went to kinder with my daughter.  

 

While driving, I took a wrong turn and got lost.  The wonderful news is that I didn't panic or get angry.  I wasn't happy.  I was very late to see my friend, but I was able to stay calm.  In the past, I would have become very upset, cried, become angry, etc.. This time, I was able to accept the situation and simply be unhappy that I had to drive for an hour instead of 1/2 an hour to get there.  My friend was very understanding.  This is real progress.  To have the energy to take my daughter that far for a play date and to also be able to check my emotions in a frustrating situation indicates that my moods are leveling out.  

 

I even did a little bit of sorting and throwing away things from the kitchen counter.  

 

I feel "bad."  I'm sad, I'm anhedonic, I'm frustrated with my life, but I'm becoming capable of doing more.  I expect this improvement to continue so I'm aware that I should be "happy."  It's odd to know I should feel happy, but I don't.  In fact, it's frustrating!  How bizarre.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Glad to hear you are experiencing improvements Rosetta.  I’m sure in time you will be able to feel happy about it.

Zoloft 50 mg Fall 2003-October 2016

I went up to 150 mg for several months during the winter of 2016 after going through a tough time trying to stabilize.

Lexapro 5 mg and then 10 mg October 2016-December 2016

Paxil December 2016 to present.  Started at 10 mg went up to 20 mg for three weeks and started reducing by 5mg every 2 weeks per doctors orders.  Got down to 7.5 mg and ran into trouble, found this website and updosed to 10 mg.

 9mg paroxetine June 18-6.5 mg in am 2.5 mg pm.  

July 20 began switch to Citalopram-9 mg Paxil and 5 mg citalopram

July 24-7.5mg paroxetine and 7.5mg Citalopram 

July 27-5mg paroxetine and 10 citalopram 

July 30-2.5 paroxetine and 10 of Citalopram 

August 2-2mg paroxetine and 10mg Citalopram, dropped paroxetine Aug. 3

August 8 increased to 15 mg citalopram

Take 1mg lorazepam as needed and 3mg melatonin at night.

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