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Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017


Rosetta

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Just a thought about the constipation: I don't know if you're taking magnesium, which of course is one of SA's recommended supplements, but it has a laxative effect.  You'd have to calculate just how much to take but you could end up getting a double benefit from it.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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8 minutes ago, Gridley said:

Just a thought about the constipation: I don't know if you're taking magnesium, which of course is one of SA's recommended supplements, but it has a laxative effect.  You'd have to calculate just how much to take but you could end up getting a double benefit from it.

 

Yes, I know!  Double benefit, indeed.  TMI, but it no longer causes diarrhea every time.  Only during a window!  Uh  . . . Who hoo!  Or Uh oh! Not sure which at this point.  Lol

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Rosetta, your are so brave!  I hope I can follow your lead and eventually getting of of zoloft without destroying my life!

 

Hugs-Sam

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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Do you still take Unisom for sleep?

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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3 minutes ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

Do you still take Unisom for sleep?

 

No. I have been tempted occasionally, but I'm always afraid it will cause a reaction.  I haven't taken it for at least a month and a half.  When I did take it, I woke up groggy with no cortisol awakening.  That was a nice relief from daily cortisol mornings when I woke up with a pounding heart and in sheer terror.  I tried to avoid taking it more than once every three nights.  I was feeling very, very bad during that time, and I have no way of knowing if Uisom contributed to the issues.  When I started sleeping almost every night I quit using it.  

 

I'm not brave at all.  I had to make it through for my little girl.  I had no choice.  However, having come through that horrible time, I am very glad I did not just for her but for me, too.  As of today, I'm looking forward to life!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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1 minute ago, Rosetta said:

 

No. I have been tempted occasionally, but I'm always afraid it will cause a reaction.  I haven't taken it for at least a month and a half.  When I did take it, I woke up groggy with no cortisol awakening.  That was a nice relief from daily cortisol mornings when I woke up with a pounding heart and in sheer terror.  I tried to avoid taking it more than once every three nights.  I was feeling very, very bad during that time, and I have no way of knowing if Uisom contributed to the issues.  When I started sleeping almost every night I quit using it.  

 

I'm not brave at all.  I had to make it through for my little girl.  I had no choice.  However, having come through that horrible time, I am very glad I did not just for her but for me, too.  As of today, I'm looking forward to life!

You are brave.  Your really seem like you are doing well.  I'm still trying to get everything set up for my taper.  I have to speak with my husband about it, he does not understand AD's at all, in fact it makes him angry.

 

 

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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1 hour ago, Rosetta said:


No. I have been tempted occasionally, but I'm always afraid it will cause a reaction.  I haven't taken it for at least a month and a half.  When I did take it, I woke up groggy with no cortisol awakening

.  

.  That was a nice relief from daily cortisol mornings when I woke up with a pounding heart and in sheer terror.  I tried to avoid taking it more than once every three nights.  I was feeling very, very bad during that time, and I have no way of knowing if Uisom contributed to the issues.  When I started sleeping almost every night I quit using it

I'm not brave at all.  I had to make it through for my little girl.  I had no choice.  However, having come through that horrible time, I am very glad I did not just for her but for me, too.  As of today, I'm looking forward to life!

Hi Rosetta,

I'm afraid of taking anything, including meds, food, drink or supplements.  Glad your sleeping has improved!  

I think you are a brave and loving mom.  Lovely thought:  "looking forward to life!"  So glad for you!

xo RM

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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I've gone into a wave as of the middle of last night.  I had a cortisol morning wake up and after I dropped my child off at school, I was anxious and crying this morning.  Last night my digestive problems resolved - temporarily (if you know what I mean.). The dystonia is back today in my neck.  So frustrating.  I'm developing a headache. The right side of my face, my throat and my tongue are numb and tingling.  I have tingling in my right eye.  My right forearm and my temple ache.  I have sensations in my right leg, foot and toes and my hip.

 

Another member's post reminded me today of all the symptoms I have had and how much better I feel than I used to.  I am so glad to be past some of the symptoms and to be experiencing much less intense versions of others.

 

The feeling of emotions being out of control --as if I was a child -- was very, very unsettling.  I worried that I would be that way forever. I'm no longer feeling that symptom.  I had almost forgotten it.  I felt like I was a 4 or 5 year old child.  I didn't have the good feelings of a child; only the feelings of fear, intense grief; and anxiety.  I don't remember what it was like to be a frightened child, but if I ever felt that frightened I'm surprised I don't remember it.  Perhaps there is a protective amnesia that occurs.  I don't have this feeling any longer, but I do still have some very anxious periods when I cry.  Today is one of those times.

 

My cognitive functioning has returned and doesn't become nearly as impaired during my current waves.  I used to have a lot of trouble finding words. (Many members reports this symptom.). Now, I'm reminded that that rarely happens these days.  

 

Anger/shame/regret -- I still have these, but they are less intense.  I try to push them away.  There will be plenty of time for that sort of introspection when I am healed.  

 

Trauma/obsessive thoughts about the way people have treated me -- much less frequent and less intense.  Again, I push them away.  

 

Discouragement -- fear that I won't recover -- this comes back again and again, but I do believe I will recover.  

 

Clumsiness -- always in a wave, not entirely gone in a window.  

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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44 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I've gone into a wave as of the middle of last night.  I had a cortisol morning wake up and after I dropped my child off at school, I was anxious and crying this morning.  Last night my digestive problems resolved - temporarily (if you know what I mean.). The dystonia is back today in my neck.  So frustrating.  I'm developing a headache. The right side of my face, my throat and my tongue are numb and tingling.  I have tingling in my right eye.  My right forearm and my temple ache.  I have sensations in my right leg, foot and toes and my hip.

 

Another member's post reminded me today of all the symptoms I have had and how much better I feel than I used to.  I am so glad to be past some of the symptoms and to be experiencing much less intense versions of others.

 

The feeling of emotions being out of control --as if I was a child -- was very, very unsettling.  I worried that I would be that way forever. I'm no longer feeling that symptom.  I had almost forgotten it.  I felt like I was a 4 or 5 year old child.  I didn't have the good feelings of a child; only the feelings of fear, intense grief; and anxiety.  I don't remember what it was like to be a frightened child, but if I ever felt that frightened I'm surprised I don't remember it.  Perhaps there is a protective amnesia that occurs.  I don't have this feeling any longer, but I do still have some very anxious periods when I cry.  Today is one of those times.

 

My cognitive functioning has returned and doesn't become nearly as impaired during my current waves.  I used to have a lot of trouble finding words. (Many members reports this symptom.). Now, I'm reminded that that rarely happens these days.  

 

Anger/shame/regret -- I still have these, but they are less intense.  I try to push them away.  There will be plenty of time for that sort of introspection when I am healed.  

 

Trauma/obsessive thoughts about the way people have treated me -- much less frequent and less intense.  Again, I push them away.  

 

Discouragement -- fear that I won't recover -- this comes back again and again, but I do believe I will recover.  

 

Clumsiness -- always in a wave, not entirely gone in a window.  

 

 

 

Sorry you are back in a wave, I so enjoyed reading your "normal days" updates. Good to note your improvements, even in bad times. I am trying to do the same!

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

I've gone into a wave as of the middle of last night.  I had a cortisol morning wake up and after I dropped my child off at school, I was anxious and crying this morning.  Last night my digestive problems resolved - temporarily (if you know what I mean.). The dystonia is back today in my neck.  So frustrating.  I'm developing a headache. The right side of my face, my throat and my tongue are numb and tingling.  I have tingling in my right eye.  My right forearm and my temple ache.  I have sensations in my right leg, foot and toes and my hip.

 

Another member's post reminded me today of all the symptoms I have had and how much better I feel than I used to.  I am so glad to be past some of the symptoms and to be experiencing much less intense versions of others.

 

The feeling of emotions being out of control --as if I was a child -- was very, very unsettling.  I worried that I would be that way forever. I'm no longer feeling that symptom.  I had almost forgotten it.  I felt like I was a 4 or 5 year old child.  I didn't have the good feelings of a child; only the feelings of fear, intense grief; and anxiety.  I don't remember what it was like to be a frightened child, but if I ever felt that frightened I'm surprised I don't remember it.  Perhaps there is a protective amnesia that occurs.  I don't have this feeling any longer, but I do still have some very anxious periods when I cry.  Today is one of those times.

 

My cognitive functioning has returned and doesn't become nearly as impaired during my current waves.  I used to have a lot of trouble finding words. (Many members reports this symptom.). Now, I'm reminded that that rarely happens these days.  

 

Anger/shame/regret -- I still have these, but they are less intense.  I try to push them away.  There will be plenty of time for that sort of introspection when I am healed.  

 

Trauma/obsessive thoughts about the way people have treated me -- much less frequent and less intense.  Again, I push them away.  

 

Discouragement -- fear that I won't recover -- this comes back again and again, but I do believe I will recover.  

 

Clumsiness -- always in a wave, not entirely gone in a window.  

 

 

It sounds like you’re following the wave and windows sequence. At least you get a break from it. I’m glad you have hope. That’s really important. Good for you. 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Hi Rosetta, I hope you are having a good day.  I am using a tens unit on my shoulders/back right now and thought about you.  Have you tried one of these for your dystonia?  It helps me with spasms.  I hope its okay that I post this since I'm not a Mod...

 

https://dystoniaandme.com/tag/tens-machine/

 

Sam

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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10 hours ago, samanthaelizabeth said:

Hi Rosetta, I hope you are having a good day.  I am using a tens unit on my shoulders/back right now and thought about you.  Have you tried one of these for your dystonia?  It helps me with spasms.  I hope its okay that I post this since I'm not a Mod...

 

https://dystoniaandme.com/tag/tens-machine/

 

Sam

I've thought about that.  Thanks for the link!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Well, today was odd.  I had anxiety in the night again and didn't sleep well.  Mother Nature came 5 days early.  This morning I didn't have a cortisol awakening.  Instead, I had a stressful situation at the school.  

 

Skip this if it doesn't interest you, but this is the stressful situation:

(It's a long story, but a private fundraising company was hired by the public school.  All week my daughter felt pressure to solicit our friends and our family for donations to her school.  It was relentless.  Last Friday she got a crown to wear home with all the info on it about putting her name on the private company's website, how to use Facebook to advertise to everyone, how to make a video of herself and how to solicit our friends.  

 

She's 6!  We don't put pictures and videos of her on the Internet.  We don't give private companies her name, her school's name, and her location.  We don't have many friends, and we are happy to donate money directly to the school, but we resent our child being pressured to raise money when 35% of it will go to a private company.  This week, every single day, she was reminded to get pledges for the "FunRun."  She was reminded that she would be letting her class down if they didn't win a prize for the most donations and that she wouldn't have music or art if they didn't raise enough money.  They handed out stupid little plastic toys to kids during the week if they got a certain number of pledges on the website by that date.  My daughter was sad she wouldn't get one.  I told her I would give her a prize for the laps she ran, of course.  Then, they put a different sticker on her hand before school let out every day Mon, Tues and Wed!  We became more and more furious as the week went on, and today was the "FunRun."  

 

This morning, she didn't want to go to school, she didn't want to run, she didn't even want to put on the FunRun t-shirt when we got to the school because we, her parents, didn't give a private company her photo, her name, and her location every weekday!!!  So that the private company could take 35% of the donations!!?!!  I don't think so.  And all of this is during school hours -- she had no math or reading instruction today.)

 

Conclusion:

I made it through the morning, and so did my daughter.  She wore the t-shirt, she ran in the FunRun, she was happy and got over her embarrassment.  Of course, I told her again that I would give her a prize for the laps she ran.  But when I got home at 10:15, I was horribly anxious.  There was a lot of adrenaline I had produced.  The whole thing reminded me of the way the pharmaceutical companies used me.  Now, the school pressures my child with shame in order to get to me so that a private company can take 35% of the donations?!!  I have to deal with my kid feeling so ashamed she doesn't want to go to school?!  My husband was very, very angry about the whole issue, and I feel very stressed if he's not relaxed and happy.  So, I cried hard all morning.  He was so depressed by my condition that he went back to bed.  He's so tired.  Sometimes it seems that WD is contagious to our caregivers.

 

Increased dystonia -- headache increasing through the day (instead of on awakening)

Insomnia -  anxious thoughts in the night

Anxiety

Crying

Sadness

Frustration

Depression

Constipation

Lack of appetite

 

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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Hey Rosetta, I am absolutely outraged and shocked that your daughters school would allow this to happen. I am fairly certain that you and your husband are not the only parents to be angered by this fiasco. What ever happened to the good old bake sale fundraiser?!?  I think the whole world has gone mad sometimes.  Time to move away from capitalism thinking and not force this way of thinking on our children. I am so sorry your family has been subjected to such immoral behaviour by your daughters school.  This is the last thing you need at the moment. I hope you, your husband and your beautiful daughter can find some peace. Thinking of you as always my friend. Love K xo

  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg,  10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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Thank you, Kristine.  Sometimes it seems everyone's insane in the U. S.

 

Journal:

Today was mostly a window.  Not much dystonia/ muscle tension at all in my neck.  

Early in the morning I woke up with anxiety.  Anxiety is causing depression it seems.  I have both at the same time.  The anxiety eased and then increased again.  I cancelled plans to go to a park at 11 to wait for tummy issues to ease.  I had magnesium and extra coffee, and everything worked out with no cramps thank goodness.

 

Once the morning anxiety wore off, I played trains with my daughter.  I wish I could say it was fun, but at least I was able to do it.  We built a roller coaster fun park.  I had some anxiety in the mid afternoon that made me sad.  Maybe because of the extra coffee?  Then, we went to a park, and I walked a bit and visited with a friend whose daughter is a friend of my daughter's.  We talked about the Florida school shooting.  That made me anxious a bit, but I was ok to drive home and -- this is very unusual -- I was able to go to the grocery store.  That's very hard for me usually.  My poor cog function makes it very hard to shop for groceries.  I had no problem today, but I did have a list from my husband.  I still forgot the butter!

 

The last few days I've had periods of being very cold and times when I was extremely hungry.  These are recurring symptoms that I've had at other times recently.  They aren't troubling, but are simply odd.  There are a lot of changes going on, for sure, with my digestion, temp regulation, and appetite.  I hope rapid cycling is good news!

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator Emeritus

What your school is doing is horrible.

 

I'm glad you were able to get to the grocery and out and about with your daughter and to play trains.  As they say, fake it until you make it.

 

 

 

 

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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10 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Thank you, Kristine.  Sometimes it seems everyone's insane in the U. S.

 

Journal:

Today was mostly a window.  Not much dystonia/ muscle tension at all in my neck.  

Early in the morning I woke up with anxiety.  Anxiety is causing depression it seems.  I have both at the same time.  The anxiety eased and then increased again.  I cancelled plans to go to a park at 11 to wait for tummy issues to ease.  I had magnesium and extra coffee, and everything worked out with no cramps thank goodness.

 

Once the morning anxiety wore off, I played trains with my daughter.  I wish I could say it was fun, but at least I was able to do it.  We built a roller coaster fun park.  I had some anxiety in the mid afternoon that made me sad.  Maybe because of the extra coffee?  Then, we went to a park, and I walked a bit and visited with a friend whose daughter is a friend of my daughter's.  We talked about the Florida school shooting.  That made me anxious a bit, but I was ok to drive home and -- this is very unusual -- I was able to go to the grocery store.  That's very hard for me usually.  My poor cog function makes it very hard to shop for groceries.  I had no problem today, but I did have a list from my husband.  I still forgot the butter!

 

The last few days I've had periods of being very cold and times when I was extremely hungry.  These are recurring symptoms that I've had at other times recently.  They aren't troubling, but are simply odd.  There are a lot of changes going on, for sure, with my digestion, temp regulation, and appetite.  I hope rapid cycling is good news!

 

So glad your windows are coming much more frequently and seem to last a little longer. You are healing, no question and totally off drugs. You should be feeling very good about yourself and excited for your future. The anxiety and depression will lift, I saw you say you want to clean up your diet, that can only help your recovery. You are doing so well, congrats!

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

Link to comment

Thank you, Dave.  You are stabilizing!  I'm so glad.

 

Journal:

I slept better last night, but I had

a lot of muscle tension in my neck and temple in the night.

No cortisol awakening.

Too anxious this morning to get ready to go the beach.

Made lunch for everyone.

Went for a walk in the park.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment

Today is pretty bad.  The anxiety from yesterday has intensified.  I woke up anxious and have been crying.  

 

The dystonia is back.  

 

There is a hormonal component. I think that is what is causing me to have these rapid fluctuations from wave to window to wave.  I'm very tired and somewhat scared.  Still, this all so much better than November!! I do have to be thankful of that.

 

I hope tomorrow will be better.  We are gong to celebrate my husband's birthday tomorrow.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Today is pretty bad.  The anxiety from yesterday has intensified.  I woke up anxious and have been crying.  

 

The dystonia is back.  

 

There is a hormonal component. I think that is what is causing me to have these rapid fluctuations from wave to window to wave.  I'm very tired and somewhat scared.  Still, this all so much better than November!! I do have to be thankful of that.

 

I hope tomorrow will be better.  We are gong to celebrate my husband's birthday tomorrow.

Sorry you had a bad day. I’m sure tomorrow will be better for you. You’re doing well. 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Thinking of you Rosetta. I'm praying this increase in anxiety gives you some peace soon. K xo 

  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg,  10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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9 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Today is pretty bad.  The anxiety from yesterday has intensified.  I woke up anxious and have been crying.  

 

The dystonia is back.  

 

There is a hormonal component. I think that is what is causing me to have these rapid fluctuations from wave to window to wave.  I'm very tired and somewhat scared.  Still, this all so much better than November!! I do have to be thankful of that.

 

I hope tomorrow will be better.  We are gong to celebrate my husband's birthday tomorrow.

Hi Rosetta,

 

I have been following your journey and wanted to wish you well.  I am sorry you are experiencing an increase in anxiety.  I completely understand feeling scared.....hold on to that thought of how much better you feel than you did in November, how much progress you have made.  

 

I hope you feel better tomorrow and are able to celebrate your husband's birthday.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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  • Mentor

Hey Rosetta,

 

Your post resonated here... sometimes it seems like our WD journeys converge. I too got my period (I think that is what you're saying) a few days early; with perimenopause the hormones are so wacked. The week before when I start to get PMS which for me is crankiness, depression (I'd much rather have the physical symptoms like tender breasts or tummy) was a little bit better than last month. But I was triggered too by a cannabis convention I went to Thurs-Sat and was overstimulated and overwhelmed by all the information. I started to get anxious. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night and woke up at 5a and just lay in bed ruminating. Now I am depressed and slightly anxious.

 

Two steps forward, one (big) step back.

 

I understand how that horrible situation at your daughter's school triggered you. We are not totally resilient yet... and that is a situation that with a healthy nervous system would drive anyone to anger. Between perimenopause and WD, I can't say what is happening inside... obviously both are swirling around in there.  I hope you feel better soon. I hope we all do.

  • Prozac | late 2004-mid-2005 | CT WD in a couple months, mostly emotional
  • Sertraline 50-100mg | 11/2011-3/2014, 10/2014-3/2017
  • Sertraline fast taper March 2017, 4 weeks, OFF sertraline April 1, 2017
  • Quit alcohol May 20, 2017
  • Lifestyle changes: AA, kundalini yoga

 

"If you've seen a monster, even if it's horrible, that's evidence of divinity." – Damien Echols

 

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22 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Today is pretty bad.  The anxiety from yesterday has intensified.  I woke up anxious and have been crying.  

 

The dystonia is back.  

 

There is a hormonal component. I think that is what is causing me to have these rapid fluctuations from wave to window to wave.  I'm very tired and somewhat scared.  Still, this all so much better than November!! I do have to be thankful of that.

 

I hope tomorrow will be better.  We are gong to celebrate my husband's birthday tomorrow.

 

Hope you are doing better today. Yesterday was just a small speed bump on your highway to recovery!

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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Hey Lovely Rosetta, Just dropping by to let you know I'm thinking of you.  Anxiety be gone! I do hope so...biggest of hugs and love. K xo:wub:

  • Citalopram 20mg - 40mg ~ approx 2010 - October 2015 (stopped over one week)
  • Parnate  20mg - 50mg and olazapine 5mg ~ Jan 2016 - May 2016 (ceased over 2 days) 
  • Lithium 450mg-900 mg and Thyroxin ~May 2016 - May 2017
  • Diazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ 2015 - 2017
  • Oxazepam various doses (including PRN) ~ May 2016 - June 2016
  • Lurasidone 20mg ~Mid May 2016 - Mid June 2016
  • Vortioxetine 10mg - 20mg ~ 6th June 2016 - 20th July 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Amitriptyline 200mg ~July 2016 - September 2016 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Nortriptyline  (dose ?) ~October 2016 ~ November 2016 (abruptly ceased)
  • Seroquel XR 100mg - 300mg ~ May 2016 - August 2017 (ceased over 3 weeks)
  • Escitalopram 10mg - 30mg ~ August 2016 - March 2017 (ceased over 2 weeks)
  • Bupropion 300mg ~ December 2016 - May 2017 (ceased over 1 week)
  • Clonazepam 1.5mg daily ~ July 2016 (started tapering May 2017 - September 2017 currently on 0.375mg..ie 0.125mg TDS) 27th May 2018 5% 0.357mg (possible paradoxical reaction - see benzo thread)  28th June 5% 0.337mg, 28th July 10% 0.303mg, 12th September10% 0.272mg, 18th September reinstated 10% due to intolerable WD 0.303mg, 1st October-11th Oct 10% (1% reduction over 10 days) 0.272mg, 22nd October clonazepam ceased crossed over 10mg diazepam
  •  Dexamphatamine 20mg ~ December 2016 (started tapering October 2017 - tapered 1.25mg 4th Dec 2017, 1.25mg 19th Dec 2017 6.25mg, Speed up decrease due to major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine- ref to thread 10% 17th Feb 2018 5.63mg, 10% 21st Feb 2018 5.1mg, 10% 26th Feb 2018 4.5mg 10% 28th Feb 4.1mg, 10% 1st March 3.7mg, 10% 5th March 3.3mg, 10% 8th March 3mg, 10% 10th March 2.7mg, 10% 12th March 2.4mg, 10% 14th March 2.16mg, 10% 16th March 1.94mg, 10% 18th March 1.74mg, 10% 20th March 1.57mg, 10% 21st March 1.41mg, 10% 22nd March 1.26mg, 10% 23rd March 1.13mg, 10% 24th March 1.01mg, 10% 25th March 0.9mg, 10% 27th March 0.81mg, 10% 29th March 0.73mg, 10% 31st March 0.66mg, 10% 2nd April 0.59mg , 10% 4th April 0.53mg, 10% 6th April 0.47mg, 10% 8th April 0.42mg, 10%10th April 0.37mg, 11th April 0.2mg, 12th April 0.1mg (last dose) OFF! 
  • Fluoxetine 40mg ~December 2016 - 31 Jan 2018 reduced to 20mg (probable serotonin toxicity) 10th March 2020 10mg (1:1 ratio), 7th April 9mg, 1st May 8.5mg, 15th May 8.0mg, 27th May 7.5mg, 8th Sept 7.2mg, 2nd Oct 7mg, 19th Oct 6.8mg, 28th Oct 6.6mg, 5th Nov 6.4mg, 26th Nov 6mg, 2nd April 2021 5.9mg, 9th April 5.8mg, 19th April 5.75mg, 22nd April 5.7mg, 26th April 5.65mg,28th April 5.6mg, 1st May 5.5mg, 4th May 5.45mg, 7th May 5.4mg, 10th May 5.35mg, 12th May 5.3mg, 15th May 5.25mg, 18th May 5.2mg, 20th May 5.15mg, 22nd May 5mg, 10th July 4.5mg, 9th Aug 4.48mg (switched from syringe to pipette method), 12th Aug 4.46mg, 14th Aug 4.4mg, 18th Aug 4.38mg, 19th Aug 4.36mg, 20th Aug 4.34, 21st 4.32mg, 22nd 4.3mg, 23rd Aug 4mg (hold), (micro-taper) 12th Oct 2021 3.98mg, 14th Oct 3.96mg, 15th Oct 3.94mg, 16th Oct 3.92mg, 17th Oct 3.9mg, 18th Oct 3.88mg, 19th Oct 3.86mg, 21st Oct 3.84mg, 22nd Oct 3.82mg, 23rd Oct 3.8mg, 24th Oct 3.78mg, 25th Oct 3.76mg, 26th Oct 3.74mg, 27th Oct 3.72mg, (WD reached intolerable level, reinstated 0.06mg) 28th Oct 3.8mg, 7th March 2022 3.7mg, 21st March 3.6mg, 4th April 3.5mg, 18th April 3.4mg, 2nd May 3.3mg, 16th May 3.2mg, 20th June 3.1mg, 4th July 3mg, 18th July 2.9mg, 12th September 2.7mg, 18th October 2.5mg, 14th Nov 2.3mg, 12th December 2.1mg, 18th January 2023 1.9mg, 9th July 2023 1.88mg, 16th July 1.86mg, 23rd July 1.84mg, 30th July 1.82mg, 6th Aug 1.80mg, 10th Sept 1.7mg, 12th Oct 1.68mg, 23rd Oct 1.66mg, 30th Oct 1.64mg, 6th Nov 1.62mg, 13th Nov 1.60mg, (2:1 ratio) 30th Dec 1.597mg, 7th Jan 2024 1.595mg, 8th 1.592mg,  10th 1.589, 11th 1.587, 12th 1.585, 13th 1.583, 14th 1.58 cont… 5th Feb 1.56mg, 11th Feb 1.55mg, 19th Feb 1.54mg, 26th Feb 1.53mg, 4th March 1.52mg, 11th March 1.51mg, 25th March 1.50mg, 1st April 1.49mg
  • Diazepam 10mg ~ 22nd Oct 2018, 10th November 8mg, 14th Nov 7mg, 8th December 6mg, 30th December 5mg (Nocte), 7th March 2019 4.5mg,14th March 4mg, 5th April 3.5mg, 9th April 3mg, 18th April 2.5mg,1st May 2mg, 17th May 1.75mg, 25th May 1.6mg, 4th June 1.59mg, 5th June 1.58mg, 6th June 1.57mg, 7th June 1.56mg, 8th June 1.55mg, 22nd June 1.4mg, 4th July 1.2mg, 16th July 1mg, 30th July 0.8mg, 13th Aug 0.6mg, 28th Aug 0.4mg, 10th Sept 0.2mg, 23rd Sept Off! 
  • SR Circadin 2mg (melatonin) 25th May - 20th June 
  • Zolpidem 10mg 25th May (7 tablets)
  • Supplements: Magnesium glycinate (soluble - sip throughout the day) 

 

"Whenever you feel yourself doubting how far you can go,  just remember how far you have come.  Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome"    Unknown 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks, Rosetta!

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Hello.

 

Thank you all for the support!  I saw your messages on Sunday @Gridley @FarmGirlWorks @DaveB @wantrelief @Downbutnotout @Kristine They were important to helping me get through the weekend.  You are so kind and thoughtful.  Thank you all.

 

This is a story only someone in AD WD would understand:

 

The wave continued through the weekend.  Sunday turned out to be tolerable after a lot of crying and the hormones released thereby.  I had a play date scheduled for my daughter, and I didn't want to cancel it for both of our sakes.  I managed to get enough relief from the anxiety to go.  

 

The play date was more than I expected -- 4 other kids were invited and one mother stayed to chat besides me.  So, I was very overstimulated by the time we left.  It's too much for me to talk to more than one person at a time.  Sometimes just talking to one other person is too much.  I never know what I can handle.  With the kids in the background, well . . . you all understand.  It took its toll.

 

Then my husband had wanted to go to his mother's house to stay the night that night.  I decided to do that so that I would have help in the morning entertaining my daughter as there was no school on Monday.  I was caught between a rock and a hard place.  I can't leave the house early (because of morning anxiety).  So, being there the night before seemed to be a harm reduction approach to getting through a 4 day weekend.  It wasn't to be.  There was a storm Sunday night that kept me awake and anxious (sleeping in a different bed) most of the night.  It was a strong wind storm, and I spent the night dreaming of danger all around me.  I kept waking up afraid and then realizing where I was.  There was nothing real to fear but WD anxiety.

 

This would be funny if not so horrible when in WD: the next day my MIL let my daughter have birthday cake for breakfast before we went out for pancakes.  I would have been the bad guy, as usual, if I said no.  The amount of sugar that my MIL feeds my child is really getting to me.  She never did that with her own kids.  Then, breakfast out was so important to my husband for some reason, but I expected that he would not order pancakes for my daughter.  He ordered pancakes for my daughter.  Again, I had to be the bad guy.  So, I didn't speak up.  I am so tired of being put in this position when we are with my MIL.  If I'm in a wave, I can't risk losing my temper.  If I open my mouth, years of frustration will spill out in the middle of a restaurant?  No, better to stay quiet.  My husband agrees with me on the sugar issue but can't keep control when the situation arises.  

 

After the pancakes and syrup, my daughter got a little crazy back at the house, and my husband was going to take her to the park.  My MIL and I had agreed earlier that it was too windy and cold for the park, but suddenly they were going.  Apparently, my daughter had asked to go outside my presence, but I didn't know this.  Normally, that would be fine, but when my daughter realized I wasn't going she began clinging to me and pouting.  That broke the camel's back.  I was overwhelmed with anxiety and guilt and fear.  The world outside was windy and loud, and I was hanging onto sanity by a thread just having endured the last 18 hours.  So, I informed everyone that my daughter didn't want to go which was what I believed based on her reaction.  This caused a negative reaction by my MIL.  I realized that I had to leave.  I left and had a classic spiral and meltdown.  

 

This issue of "my dysfunction" derailing a plan (that was devised by him and his mother and never discussed with me) has been a problem ever since 2015.  That was when when my WD from Celexa and the constant increases of Zoloft resulted in severe anxiety that prevented me from going places.  He says that I don't respond to attempts to discuss plans with them.  Perhaps that's been true in the past.  I don't hear them ask me anything.  They are usually speaking in another language I don't understand.  I tune them out, and I don't recognize when they switch to English and include me.  Now, they simply don't ask me my opinion if my husband knows I'm unable to participate.  It takes me by surprise that they are leaving.  I feel very irritated and disrespected when this happens.  The stress of having my daughter cling to me when she realizes I'm not going is very upsetting.

 

I needed my husband to help me through the anxiety, but he didn't understand that.  He thought I was going to yell at him like I used to before I understood WD.  So, he took that stance of defense, and I felt hurt and alone.  I forgot to ask him for help.  We ended up having a discussion about my frustration of the events on Monday -- the cake for breakfast, then pancakes, then all the rest.  It only made things worse.  

 

He's very tired and overwhelmed with the length of this debacle.  He's angry, of course.  It's been years and years since I have been his "partner."  He feels the stress of having been my caretaker since 2012 when the switch from Celexa to Zoloft really hit me, but neither of us knew what was happening.  He gets angry with me if I say that I need things to be different.  He doesn't believe that there is any correlation between my activity and my intense symptoms.  He thinks it's entirely random, and he thinks he needs to keep life "normal" for my daughter.  I try to tell him that it can't be "normal" and that by trying to force it to be "normal" there is a secondary dysfunctional pattern developing.  She's being catered to in a way that is not only harmful to her but the stress of it all is delaying my recovery and intensifying my symptoms.  He doesn't agree.  So, on Sunday, instead of him helping me stay calm and avoiding a spiral and feeling safe we had a heated discussion that left us both feeling hopeless.

 

I have no choice but to soldier on, but I do sometimes wish there was an end and I just barely care what kind of an end it is -- for a moment.  Then, I think of my beautiful child and the hope I have that this condition will resolve.  At that point I feel intense sadness.  I'm deeply depressed for days over these arguments with my husband.  I can't expect him to be a saint.  I woke up with less dystonia today which should mean this is a window, but I'm depressed at the situation.  My husband is depressed.  I feel very bad today, and I'm trying to shake it off.  I hate to wish my life away, but I wish it were 2019.  In another year I should be a lot better.  Today, it seems like a lifetime.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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I am sorry Rosetta, try to remember how far you have come. Today has been more of a struggle for me too, not sure why. Makes it so hard to see progress, even makes you doubt it entirely when you are back to struggling. Unfortunately this is the way our bodies heal from this it seems, add on life stresses (your marriage fight, my business struggling) and it only makes matters worse!

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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Thank you, Dave.  I hope tomorrow is better for you.

 

Overall, today was ok.  I didn't have to do much.  I took my daughter to school, brought her home and her father took her to her music and to the gym childcare.  Now to put her to bed.  Whew.  A day to reset, rest, and recharge.

 

Some dystonia -- neck, jaw, eye, cheek, very slight in leg/foot

Digestion issues seems to have resolved over the past couple of days.  Maybe Kombucha helped?

Depression

Anxiety was not insignificant, but not too bad.

No cortisol awakening 

 

Put one load of laundry in machine

 

 

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
16 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Hello.

 

Thank you all for the support!  I saw your messages on Sunday @Gridley @FarmGirlWorks @DaveB @wantrelief @Downbutnotout @Kristine They were important to helping me get through the weekend.  You are so kind and thoughtful.  Thank you all.

 

This is a story only someone in AD WD would understand:

 

The wave continued through the weekend.  Sunday turned out to be tolerable after a lot of crying and the hormones released thereby.  I had a play date scheduled for my daughter, and I didn't want to cancel it for both of our sakes.  I managed to get enough relief from the anxiety to go.  

 

The play date was more than I expected -- 4 other kids were invited and one mother stayed to chat besides me.  So, I was very overstimulated by the time we left.  It's too much for me to talk to more than one person at a time.  Sometimes just talking to one other person is too much.  I never know what I can handle.  With the kids in the background, well . . . you all understand.  It took its toll.

 

Then my husband had wanted to go to his mother's house to stay the night that night.  I decided to do that so that I would have help in the morning entertaining my daughter as there was no school on Monday.  I was caught between a rock and a hard place.  I can't leave the house early (because of morning anxiety).  So, being there the night before seemed to be a harm reduction approach to getting through a 4 day weekend.  It wasn't to be.  There was a storm Sunday night that kept me awake and anxious (sleeping in a different bed) most of the night.  It was a strong wind storm, and I spent the night dreaming of danger all around me.  I kept waking up afraid and then realizing where I was.  There was nothing real to fear but WD anxiety.

 

This would be funny if not so horrible when in WD: the next day my MIL let my daughter have birthday cake for breakfast before we went out for pancakes.  I would have been the bad guy, as usual, if I said no.  The amount of sugar that my MIL feeds my child is really getting to me.  She never did that with her own kids.  Then, breakfast out was so important to my husband for some reason, but I expected that he would not order pancakes for my daughter.  He ordered pancakes for my daughter.  Again, I had to be the bad guy.  So, I didn't speak up.  I am so tired of being put in this position when we are with my MIL.  If I'm in a wave, I can't risk losing my temper.  If I open my mouth, years of frustration will spill out in the middle of a restaurant?  No, better to stay quiet.  My husband agrees with me on the sugar issue but can't keep control when the situation arises.  

 

After the pancakes and syrup, my daughter got a little crazy back at the house, and my husband was going to take her to the park.  My MIL and I had agreed earlier that it was too windy and cold for the park, but suddenly they were going.  Apparently, my daughter had asked to go outside my presence, but I didn't know this.  Normally, that would be fine, but when my daughter realized I wasn't going she began clinging to me and pouting.  That broke the camel's back.  I was overwhelmed with anxiety and guilt and fear.  The world outside was windy and loud, and I was hanging onto sanity by a thread just having endured the last 18 hours.  So, I informed everyone that my daughter didn't want to go which was what I believed based on her reaction.  This caused a negative reaction by my MIL.  I realized that I had to leave.  I left and had a classic spiral and meltdown.  

 

This issue of "my dysfunction" derailing a plan (that was devised by him and his mother and never discussed with me) has been a problem ever since 2015.  That was when when my WD from Celexa and the constant increases of Zoloft resulted in severe anxiety that prevented me from going places.  He says that I don't respond to attempts to discuss plans with them.  Perhaps that's been true in the past.  I don't hear them ask me anything.  They are usually speaking in another language I don't understand.  I tune them out, and I don't recognize when they switch to English and include me.  Now, they simply don't ask me my opinion if my husband knows I'm unable to participate.  It takes me by surprise that they are leaving.  I feel very irritated and disrespected when this happens.  The stress of having my daughter cling to me when she realizes I'm not going is very upsetting.

 

I needed my husband to help me through the anxiety, but he didn't understand that.  He thought I was going to yell at him like I used to before I understood WD.  So, he took that stance of defense, and I felt hurt and alone.  I forgot to ask him for help.  We ended up having a discussion about my frustration of the events on Monday -- the cake for breakfast, then pancakes, then all the rest.  It only made things worse.  

 

He's very tired and overwhelmed with the length of this debacle.  He's angry, of course.  It's been years and years since I have been his "partner."  He feels the stress of having been my caretaker since 2012 when the switch from Celexa to Zoloft really hit me, but neither of us knew what was happening.  He gets angry with me if I say that I need things to be different.  He doesn't believe that there is any correlation between my activity and my intense symptoms.  He thinks it's entirely random, and he thinks he needs to keep life "normal" for my daughter.  I try to tell him that it can't be "normal" and that by trying to force it to be "normal" there is a secondary dysfunctional pattern developing.  She's being catered to in a way that is not only harmful to her but the stress of it all is delaying my recovery and intensifying my symptoms.  He doesn't agree.  So, on Sunday, instead of him helping me stay calm and avoiding a spiral and feeling safe we had a heated discussion that left us both feeling hopeless.

 

I have no choice but to soldier on, but I do sometimes wish there was an end and I just barely care what kind of an end it is -- for a moment.  Then, I think of my beautiful child and the hope I have that this condition will resolve.  At that point I feel intense sadness.  I'm deeply depressed for days over these arguments with my husband.  I can't expect him to be a saint.  I woke up with less dystonia today which should mean this is a window, but I'm depressed at the situation.  My husband is depressed.  I feel very bad today, and I'm trying to shake it off.  I hate to wish my life away, but I wish it were 2019.  In another year I should be a lot better.  Today, it seems like a lifetime.

That all sounds very stressful. It is very difficult on our partners. At least he is staying by your side. It’s hard to deal with mil’s. You sound pretty strong to deal with all this. 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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1 hour ago, Downbutnotout said:

That all sounds very stressful. It is very difficult on our partners. At least he is staying by your side. It’s hard to deal with mil’s. You sound pretty strong to deal with all this. 

 

Thank you, D, for the words of encouragement.  

 

I am lucky to have him, and my MIL isn't a bad one.  She's better than most.  She's nice to me, and none of the slights are intentional.  I'm sure that my troubles are very confusing to her.  She's happy that I don't mind if my husband visits her without me and that I don't mind that she's close with my daughter.  Her other daughter-in-law is very jealous and possessive of the other son.  The contact with him and his kids is very restricted.  I can't really understand why it's that way, but it makes me look like a sane person in comparison.  So, she likes me, and she's grateful I'm not jealous.  I wish she could spend more time with my daughter if she could avoid giving out sugar!

 

This illness makes everything harder, and she doesn't know what's wrong with me -- not that she would understand if it were explained to her.  She's seen my physical condition deteriorate.  I suppose she'll be surprised when I get well.  

 

I hope you you are doing ok, D.  I'm glad you have your husband, too.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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3 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 

Thank you, D, for the words of encouragement.  

 

I am lucky to have him, and my MIL isn't a bad one.  She's better than most.  She's nice to me, and none of the slights are intentional.  I'm sure that my troubles are very confusing to her.  She's happy that I don't mind if my husband visits her without me and that I don't mind that she's close with my daughter.  Her other daughter-in-law is very jealous and possessive of the other son.  The contact with him and his kids is very restricted.  I can't really understand why it's that way, but it makes me look like a sane person in comparison.  So, she likes me, and she's grateful I'm not jealous.  I wish she could spend more time with my daughter if she could avoid giving out sugar!

 

This illness makes everything harder, and she doesn't know what's wrong with me -- not that she would understand if it were explained to her.  She's seen my physical condition deteriorate.  I suppose she'll be surprised when I get well.  

 

I hope you you are doing ok, D.  I'm glad you have your husband, too.

I’m not so sure it’s good for him. 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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Cortisol mornings are back day after day.  I wake up quite early with no spike or physical sensation, but bruxism or dystonia is a very annoying feeling.  Then I start to worry and ruminate and worry some more.  By 6;45 I'm a wreck, but after I get up and move around I calm down and I can function.  The anxiety wears off over the next few hours usually. 

 

I've been having a strange feeling in the middle of the day for 2 days.  Then, I'm overly tired early at night -- by 5 or 6 pm.  None of this is terrible or terrifying, but if I don't keep my fear under control it seems to be likely to make me feel some pretty severe anxiety.  The strange feeling -- I think it might be a feeling of normality!!  Maybe what I thought was normality before wasn't and this is something even closer to normality, but it's been so long since I felt it that I don't recognize it?  I think it might be boredom or a lack of feeling my mind race.  It's very strange, and it makes me extremely nervous.  I suppose the feeling could be anhedonia or sadness.  I'm not sure what it is.  Depression?

 

Much less dystonia during the day the past 2 days.  Very few physical symptoms, but going back and forth between anxiety and depression (?) quite a bit.  

 

Its day 8 of my cycle.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

Link to comment
51 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Cortisol mornings are back day after day.  I wake up quite early with no spike or physical sensation, but bruxism or dystonia is a very annoying feeling.  Then I start to worry and ruminate and worry some more.  By 6;45 I'm a wreck, but after I get up and move around I calm down and I can function.  The anxiety wears off over the next few hours usually. 

 

I've been having a strange feeling in the middle of the day for 2 days.  Then, I'm overly tired early at night -- by 5 or 6 pm.  None of this is terrible or terrifying, but if I don't keep my fear under control it seems to be likely to make me feel some pretty severe anxiety.  The strange feeling -- I think it might be a feeling of normality!!  Maybe what I thought was normality before wasn't and this is something even closer to normality, but it's been so long since I felt it that I don't recognize it?  I think it might be boredom or a lack of feeling my mind race.  It's very strange, and it makes me extremely nervous.  I suppose the feeling could be anhedonia or sadness.  I'm not sure what it is.  Depression?

 

Much less dystonia during the day the past 2 days.  Very few physical symptoms, but going back and forth between anxiety and depression (?) quite a bit.  

 

Its day 8 of my cycle.

 

Sorry you are having cortisol mornings again, it really is just the worst symptom imaginable. I would call the afternoon normal feeling a win and try not to worry about it. Sounds like healing to me!

2008 - October 28th, 2016: Zoloft 50 - 150 mgs, settled on 50mgs from 2011 - 2016.
January 23rd - March 1st 2017: Zoloft 50mgs, direct switch to Lexapro.
March 1st - May 1st 2017: Lexapro 10 mgs, down to 5mgs for a week, then off.
June 1st - July 31st 2017: Paxil 20mgs, Lyrica 600mgs
August 1st - September 30th 2017: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
October 1st  - November 12th 2017: Paxil 60mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs
November 12th, 2017 - September 4th 2018: Paxil 40mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs 

September 4th - September 27th: Paxil 30mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

September 28th - November 7th: Paxil 20mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs (Also Testosterone Therapy started in June 2018 and ended in November 2018)

November 7th 2018 - February 22nd 2019: Paxil 10mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs

February 22nd 2019 - April 17th: Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin 1mgs

April 17th - Now: Zoloft 25mgs, Zyprexa 2.5mgs, Klonopin .5mgs

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Rosetta what you are describing is me it’s as if I had written your last post my cortisol mornings slowly went away after about 6 months I would still wake early but not have the awful cortisol and then the horrid anxiety but now they have come back with a vengeance I then proceed like you through the day jumping from anxiety and depression anhendonia and dystonia I have been looking at the self help section and I am thinking about trying some inotisol to see if that reduces the cortisol spikes in the morning 

2001 to jan 2015 Effexor 150 mg 

jan 2015 15 mg mirtazapine 20 mg quetiapine 

feb 2015 quetiapine stopped 

feb 2015 30 mg of citalopram added 

feb 2015 mirtazapine increased to 30 mg 

july 2015 citalopram stopped 

sept 2015 200mg of pregabalin 

jan 2017 mirtazapine stopped

jan 2017 20 mg fluoxetine

march 2017 all meds stopped 

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