Kev93: 3 months off Sertraline

[Rosetta]

I know.  My main issue is anxiety about a lot of things not just OCD type worries.  I will be glad to feel normal again, too, believe me.  How I wish I had know that ADs could make my life even worse!

[Kev93]

I know when I was first diagnosed with Ocd there wasn't a lot of options except ADs. I read over my post tonight from the beginning and I can see some improvement in my symptoms from then to now.

     I should have written them down because up till this point I can't believe some of the things that I've been through and it's not over yet.

      Sometimes I feel like this is one crazy dream.

  

[Kev93]

Last six months of being on Sertraline I had Ocd Symptoms popping up more frequently. I am wondering if the meds were not working like they were in the beginning and I was having withdrawal symptoms while I was still on it.

    Is this even possible??

 

[Rosetta]

Yes.  You could have reached the point of poop-out aka tachyphylaxis.

[Kev93]

And it could have given me withdrawal symptoms while still taking it?

 

[Rosetta]

Yes.  That happened to me.  It's a risk of taking these drugs long term and tapering off doesn't give one the less traumatic exit it would give someone who had not reached tachyphylaxis.  Another thing no doc ever told me.  They are so ignorant and reckless.

 

You might have forgotten to take a dose or several or had too much alcohol or taken some other medicine that caused you to go into temporary "withdrawal."  

[Kev93]

Had more frequent episodes toward the end of the time I was still taking them. Thought I just needed to increase my dosage and did but that's when It landed me in the hospital because of it.

        

[Rosetta]

Yep.  That's how I got to 150 mg.

[Kev93]

I looked up contamination OCD and  I am having textbook symptoms. It seems to be getting worse. Using lots of anti bacterial wipes and have even thrown away clothes that I feel were contaminated.

      It really is affecting my daily life now. I feel like I am just about at my breaking point.

    At what point do I give in and take antidepressants and feel somewhat normal again? That's what I keep asking myself. 

     

      

[Rosetta]

The reason I have never given in and taken antidepressants again is because of the fear that doing so will make it worse.  I know doing nothing will make it better.  It won't make it better right now, but it will make it better.  The trick is to think about avoiding new harm.  That said, some people benefit from a very tiny reinstatement.  Some have a terrible reaction to it, but some benefit.  I have never felt comfortable with the risk.

 

I wish I could say something to make you feel better.  - Rosetta

[Kev93]

Guess , I'm a little scared it won't get better without the meds. As the ocd is getting worse at the moment.

     If I didn't have Ocd before the meds then maybe I would have a little more faith that it is only withdrawal. But the fact I did have it before makes me doubt that it will ever go away.

      

[Rosetta]

I understand that feeling.  I suppose if one believes the meds do what they are advertised to do, it's difficult to shake that feeling. However, I strongly believe that the way they "work" is only a temporary solution that will eventually turn into a more serious problem when tachyphylaxis sets in.  There is also the issue of the formulation of the meds being changed and supply issues, as well.  So, long term the meds are not sustainable as a solution to my problems.  Short term as a reinstatement to possibly get your struggle under control maybe it's worth the risk.  I don't know what it's like to have such severe OCD as you describe, but I do know that Zoloft caused my OCD to become much, much worse.  It was barely an issue prior to Zoloft.  The severity increased after I quit the med and then, slowly, the OCD began to lift more and more.  I quit Zoloft in Feb 2017.  You have 7 months behind you.  I suggest you try to tough it out one more week then reassess.  Maybe you will then decide to tough it out one more week and so on.  You can always decide in the future to take a med.  You can't go back in time and not take the med.. You know what I mean?

 

I'm off to bed (with very intense RLS tonight for some reason, strange).  By the way, do you sleep ok?  Do you have any pain?  Do you have muscle tension, RLS, or any type of physical issues?  Do you have anxiety about other things that are not contamination related?  Sorry, I can't remember all of your thread.  I'm just wondering because you clearly have severe anxiety, but it seems that you don't mention a lot of physical stuff?  Just curious.  We are all different.

 

Peace, Rosetta

[Kev93]

Thank you for the inspiring words 

[Kev93]

Other than my serious contamination stuff that I'm dealing with at the moment.

I  have some other issues that come and go.

morning anxiety

sexdrive goes up a little high sometmes

anger issues

Not ever really happy feeling "kinda numb"

I do get some RLS but not very often.

  I never want to take Zoloft again. If i ever took meds again it would be something else. My plan is to give it at least a year to see if I  thinki need to take meds again but these rough spells are taking their toll on me.

     

 

 

[Rosetta]

Kev, 

 

That sounds very frustrating.  It's enough to deal with the contamination issue.  I'm sure having the other issues come up on top of it all is even more frustrating.  

 

Be careful about setting time limits.  I did that.  I thought, "Well, at one year off Zoloft I'll be much better."  I was much better then, but I couldn't see it.  I was expecting to be at 90% functionality.  I was much better.  I had much reason to keep going drug free, etc., but I was crushed to have that milestone come up without being able to live my life as if WD was nearly gone.  It's a phenomenon that another member mentioned once -- having that deadline can make the period of time after the deadline feel oppressive even though much progress has been made.  She mentioned concentration camp victims bring given a date for release and how many died shortly after that date when they were not released.  It's theorized that without the date, they may have continued on instead of losing hope.  

 

However, I think if you go another year from now without drugs you will never take another AD in your life.  You will heal to such a great degree by then.  I'm at month 15.  Today is really hard, but I can see how far I have come, and that makes huge difference in my level of hope.  I can see that this will keep going in the right direction.  Today is just a bad day.  My bad days don't go on for a week.  They are just bad days, and the evenings are much better.  Tomorrow might be bad, too, but there will be some relief at some point.  I'm able to think that way now instead of the opposite -- that a bad day means I'll never heal.

[Kev93]

That makes a lot of sense . I think I was setting a deadline just for a little hope. 

   Some days I can  see how far I've come but of course the bad days make me doubt the improvement.

[Kev93]

I am officially at month 7th from my Sertraline CT. 

[SkyBlue]

On 5/28/2018 at 7:11 PM, Kev93 said:

I am officially at month 7th from my Sertraline CT. 

 

You've made it this far; that's good. How are things now?

 

Are you are able to seek out non-drug treatments for OCD symptoms? Since it is something that you experienced before Sertraline, it would be worthwhile to look into.

[Kev93]

Well,  most of my days have been exhausting. Dealing with this darn contamination OCD. I had some therapy awhile back dealing with Ocd. I have been trying to use it on this stuff I'm going through but it is difficult at times.

    I just wish I knew if this is withdrawal or if the Ocd is back. Not knowing is the worse part if it. 

      

[Kev93]

I've noticed I have alot of muscle and tendon pain since stopping sertraline. Anyone experience similar?

[ChessieCat]

I've had issues with both muscles and tendons whilst reducing my dose.

 

There are many existing topics on SA.  I use google and add survivingantidepressants.org to my search string.  In this case I searched muscle pain.

 

Here is SA's discussion: tension-pain-twitches-excruciating-spasms-in-muscles-and-joints

 

[Rosetta]

Me, too.  My joints used to ache all the time.  Now, they ache sometimes.  My muscles have been very tight and achy, too.  These problems are resolving.  You just reminded me that my joints and muscles aren't achy today!!

[Kev93]

Today has been very hard. Taken 3 showers, changed clothes 4 times, washed hands at least 10 times.

     This contamination OCD is about to drive me crazy. I cannot go on much longer like this. At the end of this month it will be the 8th month cold turkey off sertraline. I am not getting windows very often anymore but am in a constant wave.

    I feel pretty good overall but sex drive is way too high, combined with contamination Ocd that makes it difficult to address the high sex drive.

   I am a mess.

     

[Rosetta]

HI, Kev.  You are really in a bad phase.  It will pass, but I know that doesn't help a lot.  Make sure to moisturize, especially your hands after every time you wash them and drink a lot of water.  I hope you feel better soon. - Rosetta

[Kev93]

Thanks Rosetta. I pray you are right. 

[Kev93]

I've noticed a lot of yawning the last 2 days. Is the a withdrawal symptom?

[ChessieCat]

There are many existing topics on this site.  I use google and add survivingantidepressants.org to my search string.  Searching for yawning brought up this:  

yawning

 

[Kev93]

Just realized today that the Contamination Ocd I am suffering from has been going on pretty much constant for 3 months solid.

   Wouldn't that go away if this was withdrawal?

 

[SkyBlue]

Just now, Kev93 said:

Just realized today that the Contamination Ocd I am suffering from has been going on pretty much constant for 3 months solid.

   Wouldn't that go away if this was withdrawal?

 

 

Unfortunately withdrawal can last quite a long time. You're still in the window where withdrawal is still taking place. Hopefully you will begin to experience more "windows" where the symptoms subside. In the meantime it is important to focus on ways to cope with the symptoms. 

[Kev93]

It's just strange that it's been almost 8 months CT from Sertraline  and I've had all kinds of different symptoms but this contamination stuff has been constant for last 3 months.  Just praying it goes away someday. It's quite exhausting.

[Kev93]

Having some good moments but Still battling contamination Ocd and some morning anxiety. 

      

[Rosetta]

Good moments? Wonderful!

[Bunyapine]

I had ocd and anxiety before being put on antidepressants back in the 80s. I felt they helped me handle these symptoms, even though they never disappeared. For the first 2 years after being brought down too quickly from Prozac, I didn’t find any increase in these symptoms. However after another .5 mg reduction in dosage, I have really been hit by much stronger ocd and anxiety. It now seems to be worse than what it was originally all those years ago. Is this relapse plus symptoms of withdrawal? With constant internal tremors which I have had since the first reductions of Prozac, it makes it hard to work with the ocd and anxiety.

 

[Kev93]

Well it's been 10 months since stopping sertraline. Still having contamination OCD and started having high morning anxiety a week ago. Sex drive is still messed up, very high again. 

      Very tired of all this. Only a few moments when I feel kind of ok and kind of lke myself.

      

[Altostrata]

Strongly recommend working with a therapist about managing contamination OCD. Cognitive Behavior Therapy can be very helpful for this.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.