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Kev93

Kev93: 3 months off Sertraline

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Rosetta

I know.  My main issue is anxiety about a lot of things not just OCD type worries.  I will be glad to feel normal again, too, believe me.  How I wish I had know that ADs could make my life even worse!

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Kev93

I know when I was first diagnosed with Ocd there wasn't a lot of options except ADs. I read over my post tonight from the beginning and I can see some improvement in my symptoms from then to now.

     I should have written them down because up till this point I can't believe some of the things that I've been through and it's not over yet.

      Sometimes I feel like this is one crazy dream.

  

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Kev93

Last six months of being on Sertraline I had Ocd Symptoms popping up more frequently. I am wondering if the meds were not working like they were in the beginning and I was having withdrawal symptoms while I was still on it.

    Is this even possible??

 

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Rosetta

Yes.  You could have reached the point of poop-out aka tachyphylaxis.

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Kev93

And it could have given me withdrawal symptoms while still taking it?

 

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Rosetta

Yes.  That happened to me.  It's a risk of taking these drugs long term and tapering off doesn't give one the less traumatic exit it would give someone who had not reached tachyphylaxis.  Another thing no doc ever told me.  They are so ignorant and reckless.

 

You might have forgotten to take a dose or several or had too much alcohol or taken some other medicine that caused you to go into temporary "withdrawal."  

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Kev93

Had more frequent episodes toward the end of the time I was still taking them. Thought I just needed to increase my dosage and did but that's when It landed me in the hospital because of it.

        

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Rosetta

Yep.  That's how I got to 150 mg.

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Kev93

I looked up contamination OCD and  I am having textbook symptoms. It seems to be getting worse. Using lots of anti bacterial wipes and have even thrown away clothes that I feel were contaminated.

      It really is affecting my daily life now. I feel like I am just about at my breaking point.

    At what point do I give in and take antidepressants and feel somewhat normal again? That's what I keep asking myself. 

     

      

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Rosetta

The reason I have never given in and taken antidepressants again is because of the fear that doing so will make it worse.  I know doing nothing will make it better.  It won't make it better right now, but it will make it better.  The trick is to think about avoiding new harm.  That said, some people benefit from a very tiny reinstatement.  Some have a terrible reaction to it, but some benefit.  I have never felt comfortable with the risk.

 

I wish I could say something to make you feel better.  - Rosetta

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Kev93

Guess , I'm a little scared it won't get better without the meds. As the ocd is getting worse at the moment.

     If I didn't have Ocd before the meds then maybe I would have a little more faith that it is only withdrawal. But the fact I did have it before makes me doubt that it will ever go away.

      

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Rosetta

I understand that feeling.  I suppose if one believes the meds do what they are advertised to do, it's difficult to shake that feeling. However, I strongly believe that the way they "work" is only a temporary solution that will eventually turn into a more serious problem when tachyphylaxis sets in.  There is also the issue of the formulation of the meds being changed and supply issues, as well.  So, long term the meds are not sustainable as a solution to my problems.  Short term as a reinstatement to possibly get your struggle under control maybe it's worth the risk.  I don't know what it's like to have such severe OCD as you describe, but I do know that Zoloft caused my OCD to become much, much worse.  It was barely an issue prior to Zoloft.  The severity increased after I quit the med and then, slowly, the OCD began to lift more and more.  I quit Zoloft in Feb 2017.  You have 7 months behind you.  I suggest you try to tough it out one more week then reassess.  Maybe you will then decide to tough it out one more week and so on.  You can always decide in the future to take a med.  You can't go back in time and not take the med.. You know what I mean?

 

I'm off to bed (with very intense RLS tonight for some reason, strange).  By the way, do you sleep ok?  Do you have any pain?  Do you have muscle tension, RLS, or any type of physical issues?  Do you have anxiety about other things that are not contamination related?  Sorry, I can't remember all of your thread.  I'm just wondering because you clearly have severe anxiety, but it seems that you don't mention a lot of physical stuff?  Just curious.  We are all different.

 

Peace, Rosetta

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Kev93

Thank you for the inspiring words 

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Kev93

Other than my serious contamination stuff that I'm dealing with at the moment.

I  have some other issues that come and go.

morning anxiety

sexdrive goes up a little high sometmes

anger issues

Not ever really happy feeling "kinda numb"

I do get some RLS but not very often.

  I never want to take Zoloft again. If i ever took meds again it would be something else. My plan is to give it at least a year to see if I  thinki need to take meds again but these rough spells are taking their toll on me.

     

 

 

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Rosetta

Kev, 

 

That sounds very frustrating.  It's enough to deal with the contamination issue.  I'm sure having the other issues come up on top of it all is even more frustrating.  

 

Be careful about setting time limits.  I did that.  I thought, "Well, at one year off Zoloft I'll be much better."  I was much better then, but I couldn't see it.  I was expecting to be at 90% functionality.  I was much better.  I had much reason to keep going drug free, etc., but I was crushed to have that milestone come up without being able to live my life as if WD was nearly gone.  It's a phenomenon that another member mentioned once -- having that deadline can make the period of time after the deadline feel oppressive even though much progress has been made.  She mentioned concentration camp victims bring given a date for release and how many died shortly after that date when they were not released.  It's theorized that without the date, they may have continued on instead of losing hope.  

 

However, I think if you go another year from now without drugs you will never take another AD in your life.  You will heal to such a great degree by then.  I'm at month 15.  Today is really hard, but I can see how far I have come, and that makes huge difference in my level of hope.  I can see that this will keep going in the right direction.  Today is just a bad day.  My bad days don't go on for a week.  They are just bad days, and the evenings are much better.  Tomorrow might be bad, too, but there will be some relief at some point.  I'm able to think that way now instead of the opposite -- that a bad day means I'll never heal.

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Kev93

That makes a lot of sense . I think I was setting a deadline just for a little hope. 

   Some days I can  see how far I've come but of course the bad days make me doubt the improvement.

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