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Hellbutrin

Why aren't there very many success stories?

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Trichotomous
11 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

Did you also struggle with depression and anhedonia? I struggle to feel any positive feelings. I either feel down and depressed all of the time or I feel nothing at all. It's terrifying and I wish I could know for sure that it will eventually go away. 

 

No, not in the way many of you do. I was likely misdiagnosed with chronic depression. I have always been unusually edgy, which can eventually lead to depressive emotions and actions. Facets of my youth would lead one to think I suffered with depression.

 

I'm just stuck with a brain that can't slow down very well.

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bluebird

When I first found this forum I read every success story over and over. It was like being thrown a life jacket in the middle of a stormy sea. I should have come on before now and reported the progress I have made. It is hard to explain but it feels a little scary coming back and seeing so much suffering, but I need to let people know that there absolutely is hope. Never give up. Every day you are making progress, your body is healing.It is such a slow process, it is hard to see. I have to remind myself to look back occasionally. A year ago my brain felt scrambled and I was so agitated much of the time I was unable to even read a book. Before this happened I read three books per week, it was one of the joys of my life. I thought that was gone forever. This week I am reading a book and I was able to find the grocery store without using google map. HUGE SUCCESS. I still struggle with despair and anxiety in different degrees, but there are some lifting of symptoms. I am getting better and so will you. Don't give up

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ChessieCat

Hi bluebird and welcome to SA,

 

It would be great if you would create your own Intro topic so the members can read more about your experiences and provide support.  Introductions and updates

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Downbutnotout
On 2/18/2018 at 2:18 PM, bluebird said:

When I first found this forum I read every success story over and over. It was like being thrown a life jacket in the middle of a stormy sea. I should have come on before now and reported the progress I have made. It is hard to explain but it feels a little scary coming back and seeing so much suffering, but I need to let people know that there absolutely is hope. Never give up. Every day you are making progress, your body is healing.It is such a slow process, it is hard to see. I have to remind myself to look back occasionally. A year ago my brain felt scrambled and I was so agitated much of the time I was unable to even read a book. Before this happened I read three books per week, it was one of the joys of my life. I thought that was gone forever. This week I am reading a book and I was able to find the grocery store without using google map. HUGE SUCCESS. I still struggle with despair and anxiety in different degrees, but there are some lifting of symptoms. I am getting better and so will you. Don't give up

It’s nice to see some people find hope. 

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ChessieCat

Something I thought of yesterday:

 

We don't stay in hospital when we are well.

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Mimi11

I'll add that I've recently noticed an improvement too. Quick background: have been off meds for 29 months. Was on cipralex/celexa for well over 10 yrs. In the past year, year and a half, I have been unable to properly nap. As soon as I would start to fall asleep, my body would jolt awake. This would happen over and over until I'd usually give up on the nap. Well, in the past couple of weeks, I can nap again. I do not jolt awake and can get some rest. So yes, progress and healing is happening. It's slow, but even if you don't feel it happening, it is. Hang in there!

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Downbutnotout

It’s nice to take naps.

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Cressida
Posted (edited)
On 03/02/2018 at 3:52 AM, Hellbutrin said:

I was just feeling a little disheartened by the disparity between how many people post on this site and how many write success stories. I know that this could mean that people just don't want to return to the site because the memory of withdrawal is so painful for them once they've recovered. But it's also scary knowing that another reason for the lack of success reports could be that people have a really difficult time healing and more often times than not it takes YEARS to heal. I've been off for 6 and a half months and I'm still dealing with brutal mental symptoms, and it's discouraging that when I REALLY need to read reports from people that have recovered, and I end up reading the same 5 stories that I've already read hundreds of times. Is it possible that some people just DON'T heal from this and we need to learn to live with the new circumstances that we've been dealt? I know this post is a little depressing, but I could really use some encouragement. Thanks to any of you that can provide feedback and/or reassurance. 

 

I ve been off Paxil completely after a short taper from 10mg for six and a half years.  I had a hellish withdrawal as many of you describe. 3 years post and starting to heal I went through a very stressful period and started having a couple of glasses of wine each night to help cope. Big mistake. I stopped it when I realized what was happening and was catapulted back to the beginning but WORSE. 6 months later picking up a bit someone bought me a Nutribullet and for three days I was drinking smoothies made with lots of fruit/berries, straight back to hell. At this point I learned about histamine intolerance, modified my diet and have slowly but steadily improved since. I don't believe it would have taken me this long if I hadn't had those two mammoth set backs.

 

So where am I now ? Hugely improved from the early days when I not only could not set foot outside my house but was completely terrified inside it.  I have a discernible windows and waves pattern. Windows of months when I am almost my old self, about 80%. The ear pulsing that started with the wine episode has been with me 24/7 since then, but is now only in one ear, not as loud and the volume goes up and down with muscle tension. My waves are rather like other people get cold sores, triggered by stress. Am in one now. Had a bit of a medical emergency, lost blood, now anaemic (on iron) but tons better than if it had happened in the early days. So, in a wave I return to cortisol mornings ( and during the night ) but not as bad, my anxiety goes up, I feel crap. I nurture myself, eg asked a friend to do my banking for me yesterday as the whole parking queuing thing would not have done me any good.Had a couple of days when felt so awful and frightened that I got up and showered, dressed before my partner went to work like the bad old days. But this morning I stayed in bed drank tea and watched the news. In a week after high stress the wave is starting to subside.

 

From being unable to leave the house I have recently driven myself to the other end of the country to stay with my son, alone, a massive achievement for me ( triggered a month long wave). I used to sit in the hairdressers feeling so awful I wanted to call an ambulance. I enjoy going now. I realise I was horrible to my husband for years with neuro emotions , now am back to normal . So I am much improved but not out of the woods completely.  If I reach the point where all my symptoms have gone I won't be the same person I have been through too much. I don't mean worse or diminished, but I take steps as far as possible to avoid stress. I lead a sensible life. I rejoice when spring comes and the daffodils come as I ve made it through another year. If I reach the point of considering myself completely healed I couldn't identify with the word "success".  I may have somehow endured and made it out the other side but I have gone through years of hell when I could have enjoyed a normal life and I can't get that time back. Maybe that's why people don't write success stories. Don't get me wrong much of the time I am enjoying myself, I only dip in here when having a wave but don't really identify with what most of you are saying because I am not in that place anymore. Most of you will heal a lot faster than I did and I do hope so . It does get better. I believe complete healing is not only possible but likely. But success ? Not the word I would choose.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added spacing

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ChessieCat
9 minutes ago, Cressida said:

But success ? Not the word I would choose.

 

I think that is a very good point.  The word success conjures up an image of winning.  This isn't a game where we win, lose or draw  It's a journey with speed humps and detours.  And it's a never ending journey that we will be taking for the rest of our lives in some form or other.  Not that we aren't going to heal but to maintain any healing we will need to take continually take care of ourselves.

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Hellbutrin
On 3/6/2018 at 2:51 AM, Cressida said:

 

I ve been off Paxil completely after a short taper from 10mg for six and a half years.  I had a hellish withdrawal as many of you describe. 3 years post and starting to heal I went through a very stressful period and started having a couple of glasses of wine each night to help cope. Big mistake. I stopped it when I realized what was happening and was catapulted back to the beginning but WORSE. 6 months later picking up a bit someone bought me a Nutribullet and for three days I was drinking smoothies made with lots of fruit/berries, straight back to hell. At this point I learned about histamine intolerance, modified my diet and have slowly but steadily improved since. I don't believe it would have taken me this long if I hadn't had those two mammoth set backs.

 

So where am I now ? Hugely improved from the early days when I not only could not set foot outside my house but was completely terrified inside it.  I have a discernible windows and waves pattern. Windows of months when I am almost my old self, about 80%. The ear pulsing that started with the wine episode has been with me 24/7 since then, but is now only in one ear, not as loud and the volume goes up and down with muscle tension. My waves are rather like other people get cold sores, triggered by stress. Am in one now. Had a bit of a medical emergency, lost blood, now anaemic (on iron) but tons better than if it had happened in the early days. So, in a wave I return to cortisol mornings ( and during the night ) but not as bad, my anxiety goes up, I feel crap. I nurture myself, eg asked a friend to do my banking for me yesterday as the whole parking queuing thing would not have done me any good.Had a couple of days when felt so awful and frightened that I got up and showered, dressed before my partner went to work like the bad old days. But this morning I stayed in bed drank tea and watched the news. In a week after high stress the wave is starting to subside.

 

From being unable to leave the house I have recently driven myself to the other end of the country to stay with my son, alone, a massive achievement for me ( triggered a month long wave). I used to sit in the hairdressers feeling so awful I wanted to call an ambulance. I enjoy going now. I realise I was horrible to my husband for years with neuro emotions , now am back to normal . So I am much improved but not out of the woods completely.  If I reach the point where all my symptoms have gone I won't be the same person I have been through too much. I don't mean worse or diminished, but I take steps as far as possible to avoid stress. I lead a sensible life. I rejoice when spring comes and the daffodils come as I ve made it through another year. If I reach the point of considering myself completely healed I couldn't identify with the word "success".  I may have somehow endured and made it out the other side but I have gone through years of hell when I could have enjoyed a normal life and I can't get that time back. Maybe that's why people don't write success stories. Don't get me wrong much of the time I am enjoying myself, I only dip in here when having a wave but don't really identify with what most of you are saying because I am not in that place anymore. Most of you will heal a lot faster than I did and I do hope so . It does get better. I believe complete healing is not only possible but likely. But success ? Not the word I would choose.

 

Hi Cressida, 

 

Thanks for sharing your progress story. How long did it take for you to start feeling like you were making an upwards trend towards healing instead of being catapulted back to the beginning? I've been struggling less lately with being able to distract myself when I'm going through bad waves. But I can't wait until I get to the point where I can at least not feel SO completely depressed all of the time. Thanks again for your feedback, I'm glad that you are starting to get your life back.

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Cressida
On 08/03/2018 at 5:51 PM, Hellbutrin said:

Hi Cressida, 

 

Thanks for sharing your progress story. How long did it take for you to start feeling like you were making an upwards trend towards healing instead of being catapulted back to the beginning? I've been struggling less lately with being able to distract myself when I'm going through bad waves. But I can't wait until I get to the point where I can at least not feel SO completely depressed all of the time. Thanks again for your feedback, I'm glad that you are starting to get your life back.

I feel for you. I divide my WD into two blocks of 3 years as sent back to hell with wine and blueberries after 3 years. I would say life started getting easier 2-3 year period. I recommend have a look at BenzoBuddies Post withdrawal Recovery support. ( doesn't matter we haven't taken benzo s the WD process is exactly the same). At the top they have a brilliant resource call The four stages of withdrawal. No time lines obviously but it is really helpful to look at the symptoms and see what progress you are making. It cheered me up so much when I realised I had moved into the final stage. It helped to see a bit of structure in what seems like an out of control process. All the best.

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Hellbutrin
8 hours ago, Cressida said:

I feel for you. I divide my WD into two blocks of 3 years as sent back to hell with wine and blueberries after 3 years. I would say life started getting easier 2-3 year period. I recommend have a look at BenzoBuddies Post withdrawal Recovery support. ( doesn't matter we haven't taken benzo s the WD process is exactly the same). At the top they have a brilliant resource call The four stages of withdrawal. No time lines obviously but it is really helpful to look at the symptoms and see what progress you are making. It cheered me up so much when I realised I had moved into the final stage. It helped to see a bit of structure in what seems like an out of control process. All the best.

I just want to know if I'll EVER feel normal again and be able to put this behind me. I get ZERO joy out of anything, I quite LITERALLY can't feel happiness. It's the most distressing feeling and makes the depressive waves even worse knowing that there is no bright side at the end of this tunnel. 

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Downbutnotout

Im right there with you. It’s hard. 

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RachelSusan

@Cressida

Cressida,

I went and looked at the four stages of withdrawal. I really appreciated it. Thank you for sharing.

Rachel

 

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FarmGirlWorks
16 hours ago, Cressida said:

The four stages of withdrawal

Thank you so much for this, very helpful and provides hope in a dark wave.

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Cressida

It helped me . It’s right . Even when progress is slow it gives you hope . Take care 

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Cressida
14 hours ago, Hellbutrin said:

I just want to know if I'll EVER feel normal again and be able to put this behind me. I get ZERO joy out of anything, I quite LITERALLY can't feel happiness. It's the most distressing feeling and makes the depressive waves even worse knowing that there is no bright side at the end of this tunnel. 

Well that's tough because there isn't anyone who can tell you that. The best thing you can do is try and accept that unavoidable uncertainty, try and get through one day at a time and try and focus more on hope than despair. It does feel like it will never end and you can't imagine ever being normal again and all you can do is carry on breathing in and out, putting one foot in front of the other to get through the worst times and hope that eventually the light will break through. Despair is a self fulfilling prophecy. Hope is believing there might be a light at the end of the tunnel even when you cannot see it. I listened to Winston Churchills wartime speeches on CD. His amazing courage and belief in the face of all odds and his assertion that no matter what, "we will never surrender " Find what works for you.

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Hellbutrin
9 hours ago, Cressida said:

Well that's tough because there isn't anyone who can tell you that. The best thing you can do is try and accept that unavoidable uncertainty, try and get through one day at a time and try and focus more on hope than despair. It does feel like it will never end and you can't imagine ever being normal again and all you can do is carry on breathing in and out, putting one foot in front of the other to get through the worst times and hope that eventually the light will break through. Despair is a self fulfilling prophecy. Hope is believing there might be a light at the end of the tunnel even when you cannot see it. I listened to Winston Churchills wartime speeches on CD. His amazing courage and belief in the face of all odds and his assertion that no matter what, "we will never surrender " Find what works for you.

Thanks for the encouragement Cressida, I really appreciate it. I can deal with the thought of this taking a long time to heal, my fear is that there is the possibility that some of us were to sensitive to be on these drugs in the first place and that we might have permanently destabilized nervous systems. Is it possible for a select few to NOT heal from this at all, or does everyone FOR SURE heal but with different rates of time?

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potions

I’ve taken one neuroscience class in University so I’m no expert but one thing I know is that the brain has an exceptional ability to repair itself. When the brain receives too much dopamine (from Wellbutrin, cocaine, or other things), it adapts by reducing receptor availability so when you come off the drug you don’t respond to dopamine in the same way you did before. Similarly, when the brain isn’t receiving enough dopamine (receptors aren’t responding to dopamine properly, the brain is recycling dopamine too quickly, the brain isn’t producing enough dopamine, usually due to drugs or too much dopamine-enhancing activities or stress), the brain automatically compensates and resensitizes receptors to get everything working properly again. Not enough dopamine? It increases receptor availability. Too much? It shuts it down. You took Wellbutrin, which is a dopamine reuptake inhibitor, so likely your dopamine receptors are downregulated a bit. But over time, your brain should heal. Dopamine receptors do upregulate over time, it even happens with some heavy drug users, and those people take drugs that flood the brain with *massive* amounts of dopamine—way more than Wellbutrin does. There is absolutely no way of knowing if you will heal fully or get back to how you were pre-Wellbutrin. I’m worried about the same thing myself from the Zoloft I took. But there is no question that you should heal/improve. Check out this image of a meth user.

 

Look at his dopamine receptors after just two years of abstinance. They get much better over time right? And this drug floods the brain with maybe 100X more dopamine than Wellbutrin. Hang in there. You’re healing more than you think. Give it some more time, and good luck. 

2C9BB63C-FE9E-4B98-A688-DC0271D7E9DE.gif

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Hellbutrin
1 hour ago, potions said:

I’ve taken one neuroscience class in University so I’m no expert but one thing I know is that the brain has an exceptional ability to repair itself. When the brain receives too much dopamine (from Wellbutrin, cocaine, or other things), it adapts by reducing receptor availability so when you come off the drug you don’t respond to dopamine in the same way you did before. Similarly, when the brain isn’t receiving enough dopamine (receptors aren’t responding to dopamine properly, the brain is recycling dopamine too quickly, the brain isn’t producing enough dopamine, usually due to drugs or too much dopamine-enhancing activities or stress), the brain automatically compensates and resensitizes receptors to get everything working properly again. Not enough dopamine? It increases receptor availability. Too much? It shuts it down. You took Wellbutrin, which is a dopamine reuptake inhibitor, so likely your dopamine receptors are downregulated a bit. But over time, your brain should heal. Dopamine receptors do upregulate over time, it even happens with some heavy drug users, and those people take drugs that flood the brain with *massive* amounts of dopamine—way more than Wellbutrin does. There is absolutely no way of knowing if you will heal fully or get back to how you were pre-Wellbutrin. I’m worried about the same thing myself from the Zoloft I took. But there is no question that you should heal/improve. Check out this image of a meth user.

 

Look at his dopamine receptors after just two years of abstinance. They get much better over time right? And this drug floods the brain with maybe 100X more dopamine than Wellbutrin. Hang in there. You’re healing more than you think. Give it some more time, and good luck. 

2C9BB63C-FE9E-4B98-A688-DC0271D7E9DE.gif

Hi Potions,

 

I really genuinely can't thank you enough for taking the time to write this post. This is the most encouraging post that I've read so far regarding anhedonia. I'm sitting at my computer bawling because of how elating it is to see such an eloquent reassurance that this condition will pass eventually. I'm okay with the idea that I might not get back to my predrugged state. My main issue is that there is so little information available about the mechanisms behind emotional blunting that it causes deep despair having no assurance that this is just a condition that will heal. It also doesn't help that the nature of PAWS causes our brains to automatically jump to the most negative conclusion that it can possibly come to about EVERYTHING. Thanks again for the reassurance, I hope that once I'm healed I can be a reassuring hand for someone going through a similar situation with these drugs. 

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potions
43 minutes ago, Hellbutrin said:

Hi Potions,

 

I really genuinely can't thank you enough for taking the time to write this post. This is the most encouraging post that I've read so far regarding anhedonia. I'm sitting at my computer bawling because of how elating it is to see such an eloquent reassurance that this condition will pass eventually. I'm okay with the idea that I might not get back to my predrugged state. My main issue is that there is so little information available about the mechanisms behind emotional blunting that it causes deep despair having no assurance that this is just a condition that will heal. It also doesn't help that the nature of PAWS causes our brains to automatically jump to the most negative conclusion that it can possibly come to about EVERYTHING. Thanks again for the reassurance, I hope that once I'm healed I can be a reassuring hand for someone going through a similar situation with these drugs. 

No problem, I'm happy to help! It's important to note that the cause of anhedonia isn't always dopamine downregulation-- for example, I took zoloft which is serotonergic, and I too experience anhedonia. But considering the drug you took, I think dopamine desensitization plays a large role in your experience of anhedonia. And I think no matter what you'll gradually recover your emotions/pleasure response/joy/empathy over time. Take care and happy healing :)

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mrsrebeccahall

I’m a success story. I took a hundred different psych meds during my 13.5 year steady stint on SSRIs. I have been off meds two years and doing great. 

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peng
On 02/02/2018 at 8:55 PM, MiguelFreeman said:

I know we all suffer but I am sick of people already giving up I am 19 y old it shude be the older people in here to lift the young people because you guys have a lot more experience 

 

 

Good fighting attitude, man!  Hey, you are like the Juventus team the other night!

You have thousands of kilos of youth on your side.

I am 73 this year - I wish you all the best and what you dream for.

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rowinghippy

There's a good chance you haven't seen this thread yet. It has many more success stories from around the web (I linked to page 4, my favorite, but the other pages have more). Bookmark it if you need (I did).

 

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Runnergirl

Hello, I am new to this site, so I will try my best.  I am currently on the benzobuddies.com site as well.   Here is my story:  I tapered off Klonopin 10 months ago (was on for 7 years).  I was also on Amitripytyline (for 7 years) tapered off that ....been off for 2 months.

 

I have horrible insomnia, sometimes cannot fall, or stay asleep.....also feel nausea...I think from not sleeping....I feel horrible everyday...I am not taking any supplements , as I want to clear my system of everything.    Is this insomnia from withdrawal?  How do we know?  What is scary is the unknown. I never had anything like this my whole life.  I am 57 years old, and in very good health.  I have been a runner for 37 years....and this is hard to do without sleep.   I feel like I am deteriorating.  

 

Any words of encouragement ...Thank you so much.

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FarmGirlWorks
2 hours ago, rowinghippy said:

There's a good chance you haven't seen this thread yet. It has many more success stories from around the web (I linked to page 4, my favorite, but the other pages have more). Bookmark it if you need (I did).

OMG: thank you, rowinghippy. I didn't see this. At 11 months, I really thought I'd be better but after several neuro-emotion outbursts this morning.... ai yi yi.

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Lovejoy444
On 2/16/2018 at 6:14 AM, Trichotomous said:

 

No, not in the way many of you do. I was likely misdiagnosed with chronic depression. I have always been unusually edgy, which can eventually lead to depressive emotions and actions. Facets of my youth would lead one to think I suffered with depression.

 

I'm just stuck with a brain that can't slow down very well.

Have you tried supplementing with GABA? It is a calming, inhibitory transmitter that helps with anxiety, restless mind, etc.

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Lovejoy444
On 2/15/2018 at 6:10 PM, Hellbutrin said:

Did you also struggle with depression and anhedonia? I struggle to feel any positive feelings. I either feel down and depressed all of the time or I feel nothing at all. It's terrifying and I wish I could know for sure that it will eventually go away. 

Hi. I was wondering if you'd tried any supplements to ease your symptoms. 5-HTP or L-tryptophan can be taken to increase serotonin, which is the neurotransmitter that helps you feel joy. Also, look into leaky gut syndrome. A very large portion of neurotransmitters are actually produced in your gut (weird, but true), so if your gut is dysfunctional, your brain likely is, too. Just my two cents. Much luck to you.

 

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potions
28 minutes ago, Lovejoy444 said:

Hi. I was wondering if you'd tried any supplements to ease your symptoms. 5-HTP or L-tryptophan can be taken to increase serotonin, which is the neurotransmitter that helps you feel joy. Also, look into leaky gut syndrome. A very large portion of neurotransmitters are actually produced in your gut (weird, but true), so if your gut is dysfunctional, your brain likely is, too. Just my two cents. Much luck to you.

 

First of all, if a serotonin deficiency is her issue (which I highly doubt since Wellbutrin doesn’t even affect serotonin), don’t you think taking a serotonin precursor like 5-HTP regularly could worsen her symptoms after a while just as psych drugs do? I understand where you’re coming from, and I myself have taken tryptophan and adaptogenic herbs and calming supplements and such to ease withdrawal symptoms on really bad days. But taking pills like 5-HTP on a daily basis might do more harm than good for many people in my opinion.

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potions
On 2/2/2018 at 3:55 PM, MiguelFreeman said:

Stop the negativity you did (Pardon my french) A stupid taper of fewer than 2 months what are you expecting to feel good only after what 8 months or more? I Ct and had to reinstate and it took 3 months or more to stabilize and ion this drugs a lot less time than you 

+ i am doing a very slow taper (yes i am suffering like hell fighting suicidal feelings and depression ) but I refuse to give up and you shude refuse 2 , remember the older you are the longer it takes to recover especially on your circumstances pls be strong and let time do its thing I was like you wondering if I will be like this permanent but guess what I refuse to give up and I refuse to accept defeat and soo shude you  

I know we all suffer but I am sick of people already giving up I am 19 y old it shude be the older people in here to lift the young people because you guys have a lot more experience 

 

 

I am not here to offend you but pls don't give up and don't think negatively it will only keep you down 

I am 19 too and an extremely neurotic/anxious person and I have spent hours upon hours stressing, crying, bawling my eyes out in despair over both withdrawal disorder and pssd for multiple months, but you don’t see me getting mad at older people for not uplifting me about this condition or having their own concerns about it. I know multiple people our age who have pssd and/or are suffering intensely from AD withdrawal who are far more relaxed and positive than I, and I have a friend who is a bit older than I who is currently severely depressed and suffering severely with AD withdrawal. Age doesn’t matter. Everyone is different, and you shouldn’t be telling older people not to express their concerns just because they should be “lifting the younger people up.” Just my opinion. . .

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RachelSusan
4 hours ago, Runnergirl said:

Hello, I am new to this site, so I will try my best.  I am currently on the benzobuddies.com site as well.   Here is my story:  I tapered off Klonopin 10 months ago (was on for 7 years).  I was also on Amitripytyline (for 7 years) tapered off that ....been off for 2 months.

 

I have horrible insomnia, sometimes cannot fall, or stay asleep.....also feel nausea...I think from not sleeping....I feel horrible everyday...I am not taking any supplements , as I want to clear my system of everything.    Is this insomnia from withdrawal?  How do we know?  What is scary is the unknown. I never had anything like this my whole life.  I am 57 years old, and in very good health.  I have been a runner for 37 years....and this is hard to do without sleep.   I feel like I am deteriorating.  

 

Any words of encouragement ...Thank you so much.

Hi Runnergirl,

 

Welcome aboard.  If you would like answers to your questions and guidance, which I have to say is very good here, you might want to go to "introductions and updates" and start your own thread.   You can find it here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/forum/3-introductions-and-updates/I think that way people will get to know you and you have a much better chance of getting some interaction.  Also one of the moderators might see it and weigh in. The moderators will also suggest that you do a signature which includes your medication history so they can see at a glance what is going on with you and will be better able to advise you. They will however explain that when you start you own page, if you choose to.

 

I'm very sorry for the reason you have to be here. You are in good company though and you will get plenty of encouragement on this site.  I'm sorry you are feeling so rotten right now but have great hopes that there is lot of relief in your future.

 

And to answer your question, yes I believe the insomnia and nausea is from withdrawal, but that is based on my experience, not from any expertise.

 

Warm wishes,

Rachel

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spokety
On 3/11/2018 at 8:34 PM, Hellbutrin said:

Hi Potions,

 

I really genuinely can't thank you enough for taking the time to write this post. This is the most encouraging post that I've read so far regarding anhedonia. I'm sitting at my computer bawling because of how elating it is to see such an eloquent reassurance that this condition will pass eventually. I'm okay with the idea that I might not get back to my predrugged state. My main issue is that there is so little information available about the mechanisms behind emotional blunting that it causes deep despair having no assurance that this is just a condition that will heal. It also doesn't help that the nature of PAWS causes our brains to automatically jump to the most negative conclusion that it can possibly come to about EVERYTHING. Thanks again for the reassurance, I hope that once I'm healed I can be a reassuring hand for someone going through a similar situation with these drugs. 

My problem isn't getting my emotions back, because they usually come back eventually.  My problem is staying out of the hospital when they do come back.  I don't know what to do because I just keep getting hospitalized. Sometimes people tell me it's because I'm stopping cold turkey, but even when I stopped cold turkey before it took 6 months before I had an episode.  I'm considering going to a group home.

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Hellbutrin
13 hours ago, spokety said:

My problem isn't getting my emotions back, because they usually come back eventually.  My problem is staying out of the hospital when they do come back.  I don't know what to do because I just keep getting hospitalized. Sometimes people tell me it's because I'm stopping cold turkey, but even when I stopped cold turkey before it took 6 months before I had an episode.  I'm considering going to a group home.

Why does getting your emotions back end up with you in the hospital? I would think that a return of your positive emotions would be a welcome reprieve from the hellish withdrawal that we experience until the positive emotions eventually do return. I stopped C/T 8 months ago and I also almost ended up hospitalizing myself after I was off of the medication for about 3 months. It's scary to think that we could go on for so long with this struggle only to end up back on the medication because the withdrawal gets worse the longer we try to stick it out. 

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Hellbutrin
18 hours ago, potions said:

I am 19 too and an extremely neurotic/anxious person and I have spent hours upon hours stressing, crying, bawling my eyes out in despair over both withdrawal disorder and pssd for multiple months, but you don’t see me getting mad at older people for not uplifting me about this condition or having their own concerns about it. I know multiple people our age who have pssd and/or are suffering intensely from AD withdrawal who are far more relaxed and positive than I, and I have a friend who is a bit older than I who is currently severely depressed and suffering severely with AD withdrawal. Age doesn’t matter. Everyone is different, and you shouldn’t be telling older people not to express their concerns just because they should be “lifting the younger people up.” Just my opinion. . .

Wow, that's incredible that you're 19 and you are so knowledgable about withdrawal. It's impressive to see young people that have a drive to educate themselves through this withdrawal instead of taking the easy way out and just hopping back on the meds. Antidepressant withdrawal certainly doesn't discriminate, it can effect people of all ages with all different backgrounds. Thanks for providing some insight into your personal struggle and I genuinely hope that you see healing soon!

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spokety
16 minutes ago, Hellbutrin said:

Why does getting your emotions back end up with you in the hospital? I would think that a return of your positive emotions would be a welcome reprieve from the hellish withdrawal that we experience until the positive emotions eventually do return. I stopped C/T 8 months ago and I also almost ended up hospitalizing myself after I was off of the medication for about 3 months. It's scary to think that we could go on for so long with this struggle only to end up back on the medication because the withdrawal gets worse the longer we try to stick it out. 

Ya for me I don't usually get the positive emotions back first.  I get the negative ones like fear, paranoia, anxiety, etc which causes me to have some type of episode.  Ya for me I don't even know if my symptoms are considered withdrawal symptoms or not, because the symptoms I have now are the exact same ones I had when I was on the medication, it's not like something was added once I got off the meds.  I wish we could all come together and protest or something.

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