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shouldIwait

Has your significant other regretted decisions while on SSRI or after taking them?

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shouldIwait

Hello,

 

Have your wife or husband after stopping the SSRI, regreted decisions such as divorce and come back for a second chance?

 

If so, how long did it take him or her to ask for it, or what triggered them to reconsider their decisions?

 

Thank you for your time, my heart is acking as I have break up with the love of my life due to a stupid two month course of fluoxetine.

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Konjo

After stopping SSRI,  my ex said that maybe SSRI have a part of lost her feelings but she cannot change that. It was like about 7 months off Lexapro. She didn't return. She divorced me and a year after she married somebody else.

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shouldIwait

I feel that his personality overall changed. He is not the man I used to know. He stopped taking the pills a little over two months ago, and sometimes he still says some harsh and hurtfull things, things he would never have said before. I'm thinking that these pills sometimes delete triggers that stop us from being cruel, or that allows the empathy part of our brains to function... I know this is an effect while people are in these drugs but what I'm saying is that perhaps is just not only a side effect that goes away if you stop taking them, but is something like a wound, like a permanent damage done to the brain, thus changing their personalities even after months of stopping the drugs. 

 

Did you notice a change in her personality after months of stopping the pills?

 

Thank you for your reply. 

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TeaBea

My husband and I were married 20 yrs before Effexor entered our lives.  In those 20 years, he was one person.  On Effexor, he was another person.  Off the meds / withdrawing, he's yet a third person.  It's like I've been married to 3 different personalities.  I liked the first one best, but I realize now that he probably should've been a combination of #1 and #3 for his own mental health.  He was overly tolerant and passive.  He avoided conflict or speaking out because he just didn't want to rock the boat.  Who he is now is someone who doesn't have as much patience as he once did.  Someone who can't control his temper like he used to.  Quicker to anger, to take offense (where non was intended or even there!).  It's been hard getting used to the new version of him, but it's so much better than the Effexor'd version that I shouldn't complain.  He'll never be that first person again, but who knows...for HIM, maybe this later version will morph into something better (when he's far enough out from it all).

 

(He started withdrawing the fall of 2013.  We took it VERRRRRY SLOWLY because of what I learned at this website.  He returned to a much better husband around the end of 2014.  The problematic excessive drinking (that Effexor brought about) ended about the end of 2015.  He's had several LOOOONNNG holds because of some intense feelings of irrational irritability / anger, and he needed to stabilize.  Now, he's at 4 tiny little beads in the capsule.  Since bead 12, he reduces by 1 about every 10 weeks (used to go quicker, but he can't afford any problems at work because of psych issues as we get close to his finale).  

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shouldIwait

TeaBea, you are completly right. He is now a different person. He says that he doesn't feel anything, that he feels like Patrick Bateman (without the killing of course) I thing he is suffering from anhedonia and depersonalization (he doesn't acknoledge that the pills do this to him still) and I do not know what to do anymore. I'm losing hope and emotionally this has been very dificult for me to bear. 

 

I've read somewhere that in order to regain your feelings you have to practice your emotions... I don't know how to do that as for I gess "normal" people (not on SSRI ever) it comes naturally. What I've done is giving him presents that reminded him things he used to enjoy like old fashion video games and "old" (from our teenage years) music, but I don't know how can I help him other than this. I've going out with him and had a good time, never talking about emotions, the drugs, sad things etc., just fun and good times, but I want more. I want a serious relationship.

 

There is not "terapy" culture here so we do not have access to that kind of help, and for the most part psyquiatrists and psycologists here are pro drugs. So all he has is me..., but I don't know how long I can stand this situation. I also deserve to be loved. I don't know. I've been coming to terms with the very possible scenario that this will be over and I have set for myself a date of no return, as I've never been a masochist and I can't stand this pain for much longer. 

 

You're very brave to stand by him I guess I would have done the same if we were married... but as we are not... I don't know anymore. 

 

Thank you for  replying and for your time. 

 

 

 

 

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Konjo
18 hours ago, shouldIwait said:

I've read somewhere that in order to regain your feelings you have to practice your emotions... I don't know how to do that as for I gess "normal" people (not on SSRI ever) it comes naturally. What I've done is giving him presents that reminded him things he used to enjoy like old fashion video games and "old" (from our teenage years) music, but I don't know how can I help him other than this. I've going out with him and had a good time, never talking about emotions, the drugs, sad things etc., just fun and good times, but I want more. I want a serious relationship.

 

 

 

Thank you for  replying and for your time. .

 

First - the best thing is that he is off meds. 

You are doing great job not talking about emotions and trying to give him old feelings by these presents. 

Try to provide him healthy, organic food.

That's only thing you can do right now. Rest is the time and chemistry of his brain. 

And don't forget to take care about yourself and your things. 

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