Soothing the nervous system through compassion and generosity

[NobodySpecial]

Hi Surviving AD's,

 

I've noticed that mindfulness meditation is mentioned a fair bit on these forums, and I wanted to write about something else today that people might find useful in their recovery.

 

As I've titled the post, it's about the practice of compassion and generosity. When I'm talking about compassion, I'm talking about that warm, felt-sense that reminds me of the kindness a mother would have toward a child, or something like that.

 

There's been a lot of research re: compassion, indicating that it brings upon a cascade of positive effects in the body, including an activation of the parasympathetic nervous system and the cascade of lovely changes that follow when activated.

 

Here's an article about it - https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/compassionate_mind_healthy_body

 

Anyway, there's a lot of talk about mindfulness, and it's great, but I'm starting to feel like a compassion practice may actually be more beneficial for our recovery.

 

Why? I'll share a few ideas;

 

• Cultivating compassion feels GREAT, and this pleasure can help create a sense of safety and comfort in a body that can feel like it's perpetually on high alert while we withdraw.

 

• When we're thinking about others, we spend less time engaging in our own self-obsessed rumination i.e. I feel so bad, I need to sleep more. Being generous and compassionate calls for a break from this rumination, and allows us to invest more energy in wishing others well, which in turn, gives us a break from that incessant rumination.

 

• Like the article outlines, compassion clearly has the potential to take the edge of that sense of "shredded" nerves in withdrawal. 

 

I think that initially, it might be challenging to cultivate that sense of compassion. I don't think there's anything wrong with that as well, especially if you're in a state of total alarm, but I have experienced and see huge potential in cultivating a sense of compassion in-spite of that sense of alarm.

 

I see this as an essential pairing to mindfulness, cultivating something more like kindfulness (as the abbot of my local monastery puts it).

 

It doesn't need to be this huge fanfare either, you can literally start by spending 30 - 60 seconds wishing somebody you love well, just slowly generating a sense of positive regard.

 

What do you think? I'd love to have a discussion about this

 

 

 

 

[Shep]

Excellent article, NS. 

 

I posted this video in my benzo thread a few weeks ago because I am researching ways of calming down the nervous system for altered states. Of course, breathing exercises, imagery, and compassionate self-talk would actually help any state, not just altered states. 

 

Compassion for Voices: a tale of courage and hope video (5 minutes)

 

It's good to have compassion for others and for ourselves, as well. It's not an overnight fix, but a process over time. And once we develop compassion for ourselves, we are more likely to be compassionate toward toward those around us and create a kind of feedback loop. And in time, we create a more calming environment to surround ourselves in. 

 

 

2 hours ago, NobodySpecial said:

I see this as an essential pairing to mindfulness, cultivating something more like kindfulness (as the abbot of my local monastery puts it).

 

 

"Kindfulness" - I like that very much. It's perfect. 

[NobodySpecial]

@Shep, thanks for the great feedback!

 

I definitely think it's universally beneficial, and I've actually read that compassion reduces various markers i.e. blood pressure below a normal baseline, but in a good way!

 

It's also such a great way to help make sense of the journey, and just how heartbreaking life really is (in a good way!). When I'm experiencing a particularly challenging symptom, I imagine that I'm working with it for everybody who is experiencing the same thing, the "lineage" of suffering - which gives me the strength to continue because it wasn't about me.

[Shep]

On 3/17/2018 at 5:09 AM, NobodySpecial said:

It's also such a great way to help make sense of the journey, and just how heartbreaking life really is (in a good way!). When I'm experiencing a particularly challenging symptom, I imagine that I'm working with it for everybody who is experiencing the same thing, the "lineage" of suffering - which gives me the strength to continue because it wasn't about me.

 

Beautiful, NS, Yes, a very good point. I find that learning ways of not taking it personally (it's not about me) really helps, for me especially, with anger. 

 

I found a video on YouTube to add:

 

Paul Gilbert: How Mindfulness Fosters Compassion video (22 minutes)

 

The video contains information on "emotional memory" in the context of trauma. The video explores how we can deal with it by having a compassionate mind and taking compassionate action in order to feel "safe" (i.e. "connected"). 

 

For me, it was easier to stay on large cocktails of drugs because I confused feeling "numb" with feeling "safe". It's great to find non-drug methods like compassion and mindfulness, or to use your term, "kindfulness". 

 

[InvisibleUnless]

i dont have any specific mechanical theory about these issues, but i think compassion--including self-compassion--can be essential components of holistic recovery and achieving a sustainable balance.  having a compassionate, giving attitude is important both personally and interpersonally.  i agree that we can have some respite by looking at the concerns outside our medical situation and applying our energies in ways which are not directly and explicitly about our own healing.

 

after the first period of my recovery, i found that i feel better working with others than i feel sharing about my own issues.  this is not the case for everyone, but ive found it a way to cope as well as a way to keep engaged in a way that is not reminding me about my own difficulties.  because of how exhausting persistent personal connections can be with my health in flux, i spend more time advocating in more general ways than speaking with individuals privately, however.