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FarmGirlWorks

How do you talk to neighbors/friends when they are on ADs?

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FarmGirlWorks

Wondering how other people here respond to friends/neighbors/family who tell you they are on psychotropic drugs?

 

This issue has come up recently, especially with a couple neighbors that have told me that they are on ADs. One neighbor last evening told me that she is switching ADs and that her friend said the new one made him "go crazy." I told her that she needed to trust her body and if there is an adverse reaction, know that it is the drug and get off of it. I can't help but be concerned about her well-being. But I also can see that she is horrified that I've been in WD for over a year and the toll it has taken on my work (I used to do graphic design, now I watch dogs and continue to collect SSDI). Another neighbor who is on buprion (forget if that is a benzo or AD) and Wellbutrin, has actually put up his hands in a "stop now" motion when I have expressed that I was in a dark WD place. Friends I've had who are on ADs have melted away; I have so little to talk about when in the thick of it.

 

My half-sister (who I am not close to) started sertraline a couple years after me. I felt badly because I had touted the drug to her when I could see the anxiety present in her. Later, while in this WD, apologized to her and said she could look to me for support if she ever had problems getting off. She said she was "fine" it worked well for her and I have not heard from her since.

 

It is isolating, especially when it seems like WD takes over your life and you have no outlets except SA. My new method, which I got from Brassmonkey I think, is to just not talk about it to anyone except my bf, one close friend whom I see a few times a week, and folks here on SA or the Meetup group I started in January.

 

Anyways, interested in responses from others in how they communicate with people on ADs in their lives.

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powerback

Hi FGW ,brassmonkey is bang on here ,its simply way to complicated to bring all this subject up ,your inviting much more trouble to your door ,SA should be our  main platform for all discussions in my opinion  ,I totally get your want to connect in the "real" world .anyone that gives advice on youtube and here always put in a disclaimer about seeking advise of a doctor without going off a lay persons advice ,this is simply how the world works .

I can see your a very empathic person ,good on you for but be very careful ,you could easily get burned .

 

I'm personally relieved this part of my journey is over ,the constant talking about the meds and justifying my journey and my coming off them and my withdrawl struggle  .we seem to be in a more open mined world with different treatments at the same time as doctors prescribing meds for the smallest thing ,its going to get very messy before it gets better ,I for one am glad I can chat on SA and not to the wider public that are  ignorant and spellbound by doctors .  like myself 7 years ago ,I was painfully ignorant about meds and there affects on the brain .

This mite sound cold but I don't mean it to ,but don't waste any of your  precious time worrying  about neighbours on meds ,we don't have a crystal ball to show them the future.   

Take this example you give of your half sister and be wary ,it could turn out very different if someone takes a med on the back of you suggesting it and it turns out bad for ,nightmare just waiting to happen .

Suggesting helpful sites could be the safest option .

A close friend that has seen me in bad states  and heard me be  very critical of meds ,says to me  nervously one day that he's sister-in-law was put on meds in the last year for postnatal depression ,he was gauging my reaction ,thankfully by this time   I have given  up the ghost with being  critical ,I simply said if it helps her then that's what she needs .he knows he can come to me if it gets messy .plus I know she drinks alcohol while on these meds with 2 young kids .Yikes 😡 

 

Nice thread FGW 

hope your well take care .

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FarmGirlWorks

Not so much "empathetic" as "desperate to share." It's true. And, to me, it is comical how people put in the caveat to "seek the advice of a medical professional" or whatever -- I get that it is necessary in this world, but all my experiences with the medial establishment and drugs make them the last people I want to talk to about WD. I am looking forward to this "need to share" phase being over... glad to hear it happened for you, @powerback. And that story about your friend's sister-in-law resonates. I dropped my AA sponsor because, while she was sober, was taking ADs druring pregnancy and I just couldn't get over feeling judgemental 😞

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powerback
1 minute ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Not so much "empathetic" as "desperate to share." It's true. And, to me, it is comical how people put in the caveat to "seek the advice of a medical professional" or whatever -- I get that it is necessary in this world, but all my experiences with the medial establishment and drugs make them the last people I want to talk to about WD. I am looking forward to this "need to share" phase being over... glad to hear it happened for you, @powerback.

I got excited when I seen your thread because I love to chat to people that get it ,oh my lord the amount of wasted time I wont get back talking to ignorant people about meds [no offence to them ]. ide rather save our  members from further complicating there lives,i certainly complicated my own for far to long ,the best place is your thread for a good  old rant  if any one is pulling on your nerves and patience  in your life .

It will pass ,treat it like mindfulness ,be aware you want to say something but hold it in or if your opinion is seaked ,pull over it so you can give a valid reply at a later date .

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FarmGirlWorks
12 minutes ago, powerback said:

It will pass ,treat it like mindfulness ,be aware you want to say something but hold it in or if your opinion is seaked ,pull over it so you can give a valid reply at a later date .

Wise words.

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powerback
4 minutes ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Wise words.

 

4 minutes ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Wise words.

It took a long time to get to them wise words FGW 😲😊.

Take care and never give up your kind soul.

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YammySteph

I was about to ask something like this!! I pretty much follow Powerback’s advice now. Talking ill about antidepressants are just too taboo and sinful in 2018 USA, that I’ve noticed. I went to the dentist recently and told em that I’m “sick from pharmaceuticals”. The assistant thought it was pain killers and when she asked which one, she was stunned I said antidepressants. She then sorta snapped and told me her Effexor cured her anxiety and she likes it. I just looked at her and said, “cool” and let them clean my teeth. I hate biting my tongue on this topic!!! 😓

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FarmGirlWorks

I know: it is taboo to not be pro-pharmaceuticals right now. Big change is coming though, I believe that.

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Mort81

Yup I find saying less is better , having to be on the defensive is no fun , especially when we are so passionate and right . Even those who have good experiences early on could end up being on forums like this down the road. I think the likelihood is probable.  but until then its like telling them vegetables are bad for your health but much more sacred than that.

 

I feel like it will always end in an argument , a few months ago I had a convo with a friend , his main point was imagine how many people would be dead if they didnt use SSRI , so i was pissed , it never gets anywhere but ends in me being mad . def not worth my time anymore, talking about this with non community members.

 

when the evidence becomes unequivocally undeniable then we can all come out of the wood work and say I told you so. until then be prepared to be very angry , frustrated if you engage in this topic. Im not saying dont do it , but just be prepared . 

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FarmGirlWorks

Well, while good advice was posted here, I ignored it today when a person (who I feel very hurt has not reached out in several months and told me flat out there is just a short "discontinuation syndrome" and I'd experience "relapse" and "fail.") Ugh. So, when she did respond to me (via an invite I sent to one of her employee's email -- weird) and said she "hoped" I was ok and hadn't seen me in a while... well... I held back but did say that her failure to reach out hurt and that, while our views on AD WD are very different, I was gratified that the NYT, NPR, CBC, the Guardian all had covered the issue recently. Perhaps that was a bit defensive on my part but I am in no mood to lie anymore. I can't. I've been too damaged and pretending makes it feel worse.

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Mort81

you should speak up when insulted like that , dont let people walk all over you ,  I just wouldnt initiate the conversation in the first place   . Personally I cant be around anyone like that.  Good on you though for mentioning the articles. 

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FarmGirlWorks

I wish I had spoke up at the time but I didn't. Plus I had no clue about the mechanics of WD. Going to practice being more "in the moment" going forward. She is a surgeon and that is the b.s. that big pharma has told them. We are the "wack jobs" until mainstream coverage appeared in April.

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