Josh: 1 month off sertraline - repeating words and earworms

[Josh]

Hello, this is my first post and I’m really looking for some help

 

Here is my story, so for the past three years I have been on 50mg Sertraline/ Zoloft for Panic Attacks, Anxiety and Depression. I decided to come off of them from the beginning of this year and then had a delayed withdrawal symptoms three weeks from my last dose. I then reinstated on the same medication and for 2 weeks and 5 days experiences awful side effects even worse compared to the first time I went on it, the main cause for concern it making me have suicidal thoughts and feelings, which led me to CT with the advice of my doctor. From what I have found is that the medication may have exasperated my discontinuation symptoms.

 

For a month after I experienced discontinuation symtpoms including 

 

Acute anxiety and dread

Waking up anxious

Low mood

Depression

Feeling extreme weariness (the worst)

Nightmares 

Decreased appetite

Mild insomnia - waking up several times throughout the night and early morning wake ups 

Confusion

Brain fog - words and sentences seeming jumbled or muddled

Intrusive suicidal thoughts 

Suicidal feelings

Crying spells 

Mood swings

Irritibility

Racing thoughts 

Anhedonia

Poor concentration - unable to read or listen to music 

Mild memory loss

Derealisation / Depersonalisation 

Flu-symptoms 

Mild vertigo 

Tingling sensations

Smelling things that aren’t there

Diarrhoea 

Lack of labido 

Light sensitivity 

Eye floaters

 

5 weeks later and most of these are gone, I had a streak of 6 days where I felt fantastic, I felt like I could manage my anxiety and depression and I was just left with what I’m usually used to. However, I feel awful again, but I am unsure if this is a “relapse” to what my natural mental state is or if I’m still experiencing mild withdrawal. 

 

I noticed yesterday that I kept repeating a words that I was reading from signs I walked past, I have quite bad health anxiety and seeing as this is unrelated to anxiety and more OCD, it’s freaking me out thinking I might be developing it. But, when I read about OCD it doesn’t entirely relate to what I’m like, I’ve always been more anxious and depressed, I don’t perform rituals in my mind or physically. I do have worries about losing control and horrible instrusive  thoughts but I always assumed that it suited my anxiety rather than OCD.

 

I have had repetitive words happen to me a few times even while I was on the meds, but to a point that it didn’t concern me, probably a total of 5 days out of the three years. I also remember right at the beginning of my experiences with mental health that I did sometimes count things but could easily stop. But im unable to remember if this is when I started the sertraline or before. Now I’m off of them I’m unsure if this is a diagnosis that has been unnnoticed (as I did go onto AD fairly quickly) or if this is an effect of SSRI meds and the withdrawal? 

 

I also had about a 5 day bout when I recently reinstated my meds experiencing a compulsion to touch my nose over and over, however I resisted it to the point that it went quickly and figured that it was my brain confused coming off and on the medication and the effects on my nervous system, and that I had read somewhere that the end of someone’s nose also felt quite strange coming off medication and that it can be anxiety related.

 

I do feel that as a person my anxiety fixates on health problems and then acts them out in hypothetical situations, so I used to worry about schizophrenia so when my anxiety was bad I would imagine voices talking to me, even though I was not psychotic. I think the same thing happens with my current worry of OCD, that my brain is acting it out playing on my worries, rather than the typical sense of OCD using those thoughts to neutralise worries. If that makes sense. 

 

Im also beginning to experience Earworms, parts of songs annoyingly repeating in my head.

 

Has as anyone got some incite to how I’m feeling or if they have had similar experiences?

Is it because of the medication, the discontinuation, or should I have something to worry about in terms of OCD? 

And most importantly, can people experience mild symptoms of OCD but mainly have anxiety? I.e can anxiety borrow tendencies from OCD without it being OCD. 

 

I feel a lot better without all the nasty discontinuation symptoms, but now I just feel awfully trapped between coming off medication or having to one day maybe reinstate because I’d be unable to deal with what I’m like off of them and this mental discomfort. All the stories on here scare the life out of me, however both options appear terrifying-  being off medication and going back on them. I don’t ever want to experience being suicidal again, but I don’t want to be crippled with anxiety and new symptoms that seem scary to manage.

 

So confusing. Hopefully I’ve been as informative and concise as possible. 

 

Would love to hear from you all! 

 

 

 

[Songbird]

Hi Josh, welcome to SA!

 

It would be helpful if you could create a signature with your med history, listing drugs, doses and dates (starting and stopping).  You can edit your signature under your Account Settings. 

 

See this topic for more info: Please put your withdrawal history in your signature

 

All the symptoms you've listed can be from SSRI withdrawal, including the earworms.  The OCD-like thoughts can also be from withdrawal, it doesn't necessarily mean you now have OCD.  If you usually have health anxiety, it could be exacerbated by withdrawal.  The six days of feeling good are what we call a "window" and the relapse to feeling rotten we call a "wave". 

 

Here is some more info about windows and waves:  The windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

It may be that after three weeks off sertraline, your system had become very sensitive and your reinstatement dose may have been too high for it to handle.  If your withdrawal symptoms become more severe and hard to bear, there's an option to try reinstating at a very low dose which might be better tolerated.  If you continue feeling a lot better, then it's probably better to stay off.

 

Please keep us updated with how you are feeling - what symptoms you are experiencing.  You can post your updates and questions here in your intro topic.

[Josh]

Thank you for your help! Had a bit of a cry reading it 

 

It is incredibly relieving hearing that these OCD like symptoms can be related to withdrawal, and that they could pass. however I do have my doubts as to whether I have been experiencing these mildly while on medication before I experienced withdrawals. I have had sexual intrusive thoughts while on medication but in a controllable way - but just assumed it was more anxiety. 

 

Im experiencing more somatic OCD / anxiety today, I have this awful repetitive image of my finger nail scraping against the inner septum cartilage of my nose, causing a real physical discomfort - the same sensation as people get when fingernails scrape against a chalkboard, but over and over. Again I did experience this briefly while on meds but very controlled. 

 

Aswell, this wave is only displaying these symptoms of ocd and anxiety, which makes me doubt it’s legitimacy as wave or what I’m like off of medication. Is this normal to have a lessened symptoms in a wave? 

 

I really just hope this goes away I prefer having anxiety and depression to this uncomfortable feeling. 

 

Any more insight that this could be down to my medication and withdrawals! I really don’t want to believe this. 

 

 

[Songbird]

If you didn't have these symptoms before you started meds, then it's highly likely they are related to the med.

 

Have a look in this topic for more information and links to other useful topics: non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

I find the best tool for dealing with upsetting thoughts is mindfulness.  You are the observer in your mind and just watch what is going on - kind of like you're a scientist studying some phenomenon.  The idea is that the observer is objective and does not get involved in the drama or pass any judgment on it.  Your goal is not to try to stop the thoughts from happening, but just let them happen and accept them instead of getting upset by them.  When a thought comes, you stand back in your mind and observe it, like the way you would watch a train going past, or a cloud floating by - accepting the occurrence of the thought, but not giving it any importance.  It is only a thought, after all.  This technique can be used for worries, anxious thoughts, intrusive thoughts, repetitive thoughts, and so on.  You could even describe to yourself what is going on as if you are a neutral observer, like a scientist (maybe pretend you're David Attenborough narrating a documentary).

 

I named the negative voice in my mind the "Doomcloud", and by giving it a name it helped me to feel that this negative voice was not "me".  It's just the mind going in circles ruminating on negative thoughts.  When the Doomcloud started doing its thing, I could just observe it happening and say to myself "oh, there goes the Doomcloud again".  This helped immensely to step back from all the negative thoughts and emotions, to be less involved in them, and by getting some distance from them, they felt less intense and not nearly as upsetting or frightening.  Other people come up with their own names for this voice ("Chatterbox", "monkey mind," "demon", or whatever), so you could try making up your own name to help with the mindfulness.

[Josh]

Thank you that’s been really helpful. I’m going to try and distance myself from my

thoughts. 

 

I really just hope his doesn’t stick. I’m trying to comfort myself and find people’s stories like mine but I feel like my brain is adopting all the symptoms that they experience as my own 

 

Feeling obsessive compulsive is extremely  unnerving, wow 

 

[Josh]

So I have pretty much deduced that what I am experiencing are a variety of intrusive thoughts and images, or "obsessions". My anxiety has definitely been imitating OCD symptoms playing on my health anxiety.

 

This is the only withdrawal symptom that I have left, besides early morning wake ups accompanied with racing thoughts and mild occassional depression and anxiety. Is this normal to experience a heightened amount of intrusive thoughts as withdrawal? and especially as a symptom on its own? Or, is this my natural state of mind?

 

I had a solid week of thinking of reinstating, I even have the prozac 20mg next to my bed. But there is something that is telling me that even if this is what I am like that with therapy and meditation I will be able to reduce my intrusive thoughts and get better without medication

 

If anyone could help that would be fantastic, thanks.

[SkyBlue]

I'm not sure I could offer much better advice than Songbird's excellent recommendations above. You said that those ideas were helpful -- have you been able to keep practicing them at all? 

 

I would say yes, intrusive thoughts can definitely be part of withdrawal. It's doubtful that it's your natural state of mind. 

[Josh]

Yeah I’ve felt that distancing myself from them definitely helps especially when I give them no reaction and let them do what they want. However I’m just finding that the moments of me being distracted from them are so short and I’m reminded of them so frequently that I just hope that they get easier to manage and the moments of distraction get longer 

 

The suicidal obsessional thoughts have come back, which I find he hardest to deal with as it taps into a big fear of mine. And I find it hard to keep reminding myself that I’m not suicidal that it’s just an obsession 

 

hopefully they do get easier to manage I have noticed an improvement, I just don’t want to have to start Prozac 20mg and find a way of dealing with this properly. 

 

[SkyBlue]

7 hours ago, Josh said:

hopefully they do get easier to manage I have noticed an improvement, I just don’t want to have to start Prozac 20mg and find a way of dealing with this properly. 

 

An improvement is good. Take a look around the site for non-drug ways of coping with symptoms, starting with the Symptoms and Self-Care area and especially this thread: 

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

We won't be advising you to start Prozac here. You mentioned 20mg Prozac--is it something you've taken before? 

 

 

[Josh]

No it’s not something I’ve taken before. However my doctor said that it would help with the obsessive thought patterns and that it was less aggressive than the Sertraline to start it off. I don’t want to start it I’m really scared of antidepressants however I don’t feel completely fantastic off of them, but it has only been a month and a half 

 

Ill have a look at other coping methods! Thank you so much 

[Daisygirlsk]

On 5/25/2018 at 12:47 AM, Josh said:

No it’s not something I’ve taken before. However my doctor said that it would help with the obsessive thought patterns and that it was less aggressive than the Sertraline to start it off. I don’t want to start it I’m really scared of antidepressants however I don’t feel completely fantastic off of them, but it has only been a month and a half 

 

Ill have a look at other coping methods! Thank you so much 

Your symptoms sound a lot like mine.

[Josh]

I’ve just started getting really sharp, constant tinnitus after coming off Prozac two months ago.
 

I’m kind of freaking out right now - it hasn’t gone down in a few hours or so and it is very stressful and making me very panicky. 
 

and everything that I’m reading about tinnitus as a symptom related to withdrawals from SSRI’s doesn’t look good. 

Please can someone help me. 
 

is this permanent damage I’m going to have to endure now with no relief?
 

will this be a permanent symptom or can it get gradually better over time?

 

can tinnitus go away if I reinstate my antidepressants? 

 

if anyone has anything they can share how I can calm myself down I would appreciate it. 

what should I do, because if I need to go back into my medication to relieve this symptom I will, if that is the best course of action 

 

thanks for listening 
 

 

[Josh]

Hello 

 

I cold turkey-ed my Prozac 20mg four months ago, started feeling really bad about a month ago and gradually got

worse, 5 days ago I started to reinstate Prozac again at the same dose - feeling really rubbish. Can’t tell if it’s the withdrawals or coming onto the medication again, is it safe to reinstate back with 20mg? 
 

how long till I start feeling better? Any advice welcome! Need a bit of hope to be honest 

[Emonda]

Please read these two links:

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Kindling

 

After reading the above links, you may appreciate that reinstating at 20mg after being off for 4 months is not recommended, which could explain why you are feeling really rubbish.

 

From my reading, reinstating generally works best within the first 3 months. The further out you are from having stopped your dose, the lower the dose you should consider reinstating to avoid kindling.

 

At 4 months out, I've read of people testing the waters with, say, 0.5mg of the original drug. But I can't say how you'd respond to that.

 

Can you update your signature, please.

 

 

[Josh]

I just read up on kindling after posting this, how will I know if I am kindling? Does kindling mean I won’t ever be able to come off my antidepressants in the future without experiencing severe withdrawals? 
 

Would I potentially be fine going back down to a small dose after 5 days at 20mg? 
 

I will read up on how to reinstate and I’ll update my signature, thank you!

[Emonda]

Hi Josh,

It's best to post questions here rather than send me a PM.

 

That way, others have the chance to reply when I am tied up at work / with family.

 

Emonda

 

 

[Emonda]

You asked:

 

Q1: If I am reacting badly to reinstating the same dose after 4 months for 5 days, what are my options?  

 

A1: As I mentioned above, I've seen people start very low, like 0.5mg, and see how they respond. That's what I'd consider. Years back, I started too high and developed what I suspect was kindling. 

 

Q2: Can I go on another antidepressant?

 

A2: I've done this twice before and never again. You end up with WD symptoms from the one you stop and then you need to try and readjust to the new one. It was a shocker for me.

 

Q3: Shall I start taking a lower dose?

 

A3: Yeah, as above. But I'm not a doctor, and it's just a best guess. It's safer to start very low and see how you go.

 

Q4: Should I take a break?

 

A4: Refer to above answer - this sounds like a repeat of your CT.

 

I’m really hoping I can just go back in my medication and get better that’s all I want to do 

 

I hear you. It's a horrible experience. Time and patience...and very slowly starting back on what you stopped CT.

 

Hope this helps.

[Emonda]

Here are some helpful things to read:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

Never skip doses to taper

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) 

 

Windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

Emotional Spirals

 

Non-drug coping strategies

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. Add one at a time and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Avoid alcohol. 

 

Don't change the manufacturer of your AD.

[Josh]

Hi Emonda,

 

Apologies - im fairly new to this site again and forgot how things are run.

 

I definitely feel extreme heightened anxiety and electrical burns in my arms and legs - this would suggest that I have reacted badly to the high dose - but I really am hoping I would still beable to reinstate to try and avoid this lasting longer.  I actually went to the emergency room last night as I was feeling so bad as I thought it could be serotonin syndrome but luckily they said I was fine.

 

you said you had previously tried to reinstate with a high dose and suspected it was kindling - did you have success reinstating following this with a lower dose? I read the kindling page and it sounds like if you have kindled then the there isnt an option to continue with trying to reinstate at a lower dose - is this true or can there be success doing this?

 

I really dont think I have it in me to withdraw over the course of years like some people have on this site - I really dont want me life to be ruined and amm praying reinstating works for me.

 

I have stopped taking the 20mg today - I have liquid prozac and have ordered a pippette so going to measure 0.5ml and start taking that tomorrow. 

 

I'll monitor my symptoms in the mean time.

 

thanks so much for your advice and kindness

 

 

 

[Josh]

I am on my fourth day of reinstating at 0.5 mg, technically 0.2ml of liquid Prozac which is equivalent to 0.625 grams. 
 

I came down to this dose as I was 5 days in reinstating at 20mg which was way too much and caused my withdrawals to be quite intense. 
 

My anxiety is definitely heightened, a bit crippling at times - it feels like it has felt previously when starting an antidepressant. 
I’m also really sluggish and feel generally unwell. 
 

I am grateful that I’m not catastrophic. But I definitely don’t feel great.

 

Im wondering how long do I stay on this dosage before I try a higher dose like maybe 1.5mg? Or whatever that is equivalent in ml. 
 

how do I know when to move up a dose? Any advice welcome - thank you 

[Emonda]

12 hours ago, Josh said:

I am grateful that I’m not catastrophic. But I definitely don’t feel great.

 

Better or worse than after you reinstated to 20mg?

 

12 hours ago, Josh said:

m wondering how long do I stay on this dosage before I try a higher dose like maybe 1.5mg?

 

I've read of others waiting ~2 weeks and reassessing. This gives their body a little time to adjust. But everyone responds differently.

[Josh]

It’s different to when I was on 20mg. 
the 20mg made the flu symptoms of my withdrawals so bad and gave me weird muscle tension and bad anxiety. 
 

i definitely have that heightened anxiety feeling and still feel ill, bad stomach and nausea but it’s a lot more manageable. So I’m seeing that that is a good sign for my body to get used to it. I also have slight tingles in my muscles occasionally and a bit restless but I think that is expected. 
 

I’ll wait another week and a bit before I think about upping my dose. 
 

really praying reinstatement works for me - I’ve seen stories of it still working for people even after they reinstated at a dose that was too high for them. 

[Emonda]

40 minutes ago, Josh said:

but it’s a lot more manageable. So I’m seeing that that is a good sign

 

Sounds positive.

 

When people up-dose after reinstatement, I've generally seen small increases (<10%) much the same as tapering (<10%). But remember to give yourself time to adjust to the small increase.

 

It's a long road to stability. Time and patience.          

 

Please update your signature so we can all see at a glance what you have done. 

[Josh]

Hello, 

 

im sorry I can’t update my signature on my phone so I’ll just quickly do it here and then I will try update it on my laptop today. 

 

signature: 

 

sertraline 4 years 

bridged with Prozac after CT 

prozac for 6 years 

CT advised by doctor and now in withdrawals 

reinstated at 20 mg for 5 days 

0.4 mg for 6 days to present 
 

im just checking in as I’m having a really bad time - but I’m still unsure if this is expected for my journey in reinstating my medication or if there are things I should be evaluating. 
 

it’s so hard to get a clear definition of what an adverse reaction is on this site, antidepressants, their withdrawals and start up symptoms can all be so extreme so it’s hard to know when to intervene or push through. 
 

my withdrawals were mild to moderate before starting to reinstate: 

tinnitus 

bad brain fog 

double vision 

balance problems 

flu like symptoms 

Occasional panic attacks 

 

since starting again my symptoms are a collection of prozacs symptoms as listed on drugs.com as well as previous withdrawal symptoms exacerbated. 
 

tiredness

extreme brain fog and concentration issues

occasional muscle twitching

restless legs in the morning and at night 

Occasional head pressure / head aches 

nausea once, and some Diarhea but it’s been mild and expected as I have IBS.

some depersonalisation today.

And I have had heightened anxiety that when it comes on makes my muscles hurt and cause burning sensations and it generally just feels like I have a lot of energy / adrenaline in my muscles that makes them ache.
 

The heightened anxiety has only been bad twice, tonight being one of them - although I think it’s a fairly natural response to being in a situation that’s quite scary - it’s hard to not panic in situations like these when you feel like you’re in a scary situation, surrounded by information online that’s making you constantly doubt all your decisions whether you are okay or not, or will be okay. 
 

I have had more general anxiety but it’s been manageable. 
 

I need reinstatement to work. It’s my only option. But I am worried my dosage is not giving me the relief I need. 
 

increasing by 10 percent every two weeks seems too slow for me. I can’t afford to not get better over the course of a year I need to find relief as soon as I can. 
 

I understand about waiting to not cause sensitivity or kindling (although I still don’t understand how the concept of kindling is different to the start up feelings of antidepressants when “it gets worse before it gets better” feeling) 

 

However I need to find a way out of this so I can stabilise.
 

Would 1mg increase in my dosage of Prozac every week be okay? 
 

Would I need to try reinstate on  another medication? Like cotalopram? I do not want to use any other medication that has a short half life. 
 

I’m feeling very fragile but in retrospect I think I’m doing okay compared to other peoples stories. I’m not suicidal, I’m not depressed, img emotions are fairly sound.  Which is positive and gives me hope that my body is strong enough to stabilise again with reinstatement. It’s just hard to gage whether the heightened anxiety is the “kindling” response or just withdrawals and starting a medication.

 

please please please any advice air clarification on what’s going on, there are still so many holes in my understanding of what’s going on. I’ve seen people go to 5mg and stabilise, even tho they felt worse before bettering better. 
 

thank you x
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Josh]

To add to the above - I think it’s important to mention that in the morning after I’ve slept I feel relatively okay, still odd, but better. I take my medication at around 10am and then around midday to evening I feel all my symptoms exacerbate and i feel bad. 

I was also taking fish oil omega 3 and magnesium 375mg but I am going to stop taking that while I stabilise as I don’t want it to interact 

 

thought this might be more key information for you to form an opinion on my situation and what I should do 

[Erimus]

Your first task is to create a drug signature, with the following:

 

• All current medication you take, the dose you take, when you started the drug, and when you made dose changes
• All current supplements you take
• An accurate history of recent drugs, taken in the last 12-24 months
• Dates for recent should be written as 7 Oct 2023, or Oct 7 2023, or early Oct 2023, or mid Oct 2023
• A history of drugs taken 24 months ago and beyond - if applicable
• Dates for historical drugs can simply be listed as start and stop years
• Please do not use 07/10/23 // 10/07/23 as this is intepreted differently around the world

 

• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. See my signature for example of clear and concise information.

 

• Click this link to edit your signature: Edit your signature here.

 

We need dates and doses rather than "5 days".

[Josh]

Hi Erimus, I have updated my signature - would I beable to get a response to the above? 
 

have had a super bad day today - brain fog is so intense I can’t think. Feel slightly confused at times even tho I’m responding normally in conversation. My speech is slightly slow and my anxiety is horrendous. Feel just like I did on the last day I took the 20mg of Prozac before dropping to 0.4mg. The reinstatement is definitely making me feel worse and amplifying withdrawal symptoms I didn’t have but I am wanting to continue to stabilise. 
 

Thank you 

[Erimus]

You need to track symptoms for a few days and post them here, so we can try to help. It should include the times you take medication and supplements, and the symptoms you experience throughout each day. For example:

 

28th March

0800 - Woke up, feel okay

0900 - Breakfast and take fish oil

1000 - Take prozac 0.4mg

1030 - Anxiety for 1 hour

1230 - Dinner

1330 - Feeling dizzy

1530 - Feeling sick

1800 - Tea

1900 - Feel a bit better

2100 - Take magnesium

2230 - Go to bed

2300 - Fall asleep

 

Reinstatement can take a few weeks before you recognise if it's helping or not. It all depends on how you metabolise the drug and how long it takes for levels to reach a stable amount. You're going to be getting withdrawal symptoms regardless of the reinstatement, due to the cold turkey of prozac after taking it for 5 years. This is why we need daily notes.

 

[Josh]

Hi Erimus, 

 

Thanks so much for this. I’ll start posting my daily symptoms here for you along with my daily routine. 
 

For now, should I hold at 0.4mg for another week? It will be day 7 tomorrow of me taking 0.4mg.

 

also - is it normal for my reinstatement to activate all these withdrawal symptoms? 

 

thanks so much for everything you do. Here’s to hoping I heal soon. 
 

 

 

 

[Josh]

Hello! 

 

here is my first symptom log…
 

29th march 

 

8:00 - woke up, slept very well. Feel okay, Slight anxiety and dread in chest - a natural response as I’m expecting another horrible day

 

9.00 - red bush tea with coconut milk 

 

9.30 - mild double vision / dizziness starting, Slight body aches, adrenaline feeling in muscles 

 

9:55 - 0.1ml (0.4mg) taken, 8th day in a row

 

10.00 - back in bed, can feel the fogginess creeping back in, reading stuff on my phone is becoming more impaired 

 

10:20 head pressure / headache feeling coming back

 

10:35 - minor muscle twitching in left calf, very subtle

 

10:40 - yawning

 

11:11 - stomach rumbling, dizziness 

 

11:30 - foggy, cognitive impairment - mild to moderate. Double vision and dizziness persisting. Tinnitus in the background 

 

11:30 second cup of red bush tea with coconut milk 

 

11:38 - loose bowels ( I have IBS so not sure if relevant)

 

11:41 - took 1 x omega -3 (1250mg fish oil, 750 mg omega-3) 

 

11:41 - noticing neck tension. Concentration issues are kicking in. 

 

11:44 - bit of pins and needles in right foot

 

11:47 - sore throat 

 

12:39 - worked on my laptop for the past hour was hard to focus but made it through, feel quite spacey, foggy, a bit achey and prickly skin on my face that reminds me of flu symptoms 

 

13:10 realised I feel spacey and weird but it’s definitely the slightest bit lighter than yesterdays brain fog 

 

13:14 noticing my lower jaw stiffening, making talking slighter harder

 

13:17 prickly throat coming and going, mild anxiety in chest

 

13:28 noticed my appetite is surprised. Not hungry at all. 

 

13:40 rye seaded toast with butter 

 

14:30 lions mane supplement with b 12 complex taken

 

14:42 a bit of weakness in my legs, jelly legs, sore, bruisey throat is still persisting 

 

14:57 ill chest feeling

 

15:07  aching weird tongue tension 

 

15:21 figgety with face, scratching

 

15:37 slight burning tingling sensation in thighs , sore throat feeling 

 

16:00 bit of acid reflux 

 

16:16 a bit nauseous, belching repeatedly, tummy feels a bit sick (expected with ibs)

 

16:43 - low level anxiety and tension - manageable 

 

17:00 went to the shop, took a turn for the worst when got home. 

Dizzy, bit confused and hard to concentrate, ill feeling came on really quickly, chest pains going up my neck to my jaw, anxiety, had to lie down to recalibrate

 

in this time I tried having lunch a salad and some goats cheese quiche before lying down.

 

17:24 headache / head pressure lying down 

 

18:12 dizziness subsided, feel a lot more grounded 

 

20:57 - pressure in throat when laying down , feels like it’s slightly closing up or swollen. Feels as if something is lodged at the back of my throat. Felt my finger on the back of my tongue and feel like there is an ulcer there. I don’t think this is an adverse reaction - looked online and saw that sore throats can be common with Prozac. Will keep an eye on this though.

 

21:29 felt my nodes under my neck they feel very sore and firm.  

 

21:45 buttered pasta with Parmesan 

 

22:40 another lions mane 26,000mg  with added vitamin B1,3,6,12 and D3 before bed. 

 

Notes: 

overall not a bad day emotionally, was able to take my mind off of things between these moments and have as much of a nice day as I could with my partner - feeling very grateful for him and for this capacity to cope with things today. Physically still unwell. But manageable with some self care. I think the lions mane is definitely helping my brain fog to some degree. Compared to yesterday I couldn’t even focus on a tv show or film to distract me, today I could watch tv and distract myself 

 

please let me know your thoughts 

 

thank you again! 
 

Sending love 

[Josh]

30th March 

 

9:45 - woke up , really good heavy sleep. waking up feeling fairly normal. Legs feel a bit rests less and slight electrical feeling in thighs 

 

10:15 took 0.1ml / 0.4mg - 

 

10:30 red bush tea 

 

10:35 - flu symptoms on race, a bit dizzy and spacey 

 

10:55 - slight anxiety foggy ness is present, double vision 

 

11:10 - took lions mane 

 

11:30 - foggynees and dizziniess has set in, head pressure / headache 

 

12;25 - had some chocolate 

 

13:19 - rye toast with butter 

 

13:36 - weird sensation in my nose 

 

15:49 - after I had a shower my legs felt a bit jelly like 

 

Don’t know if this is inappropriate so apologies if it’s crossing a line on here -  but I tried something sexual in the shower and had pulsing sensations in my penis. It was momentary and didn’t get in the way but thought it was relevant enough to note it anyways 

 

16:01 dry throat started hurting a bit, feels ill and numb almost near the tonsils. Quite uncomfortable by

 

19:00 - gnocchi with mushroom tomatoe bolognaise   mozzarella 

 

22 : 08 bit of nausea anxiety feeling in chest, sore pain in throat came back 

 

23:15 omega 3 and lions mane and off to bed 

 

Notes: 

 

Over all another good day. Definitely more function-able. I was able to have a bit of fun and some laughs with my house mate and partner and really take my mind off things. Anxiety was minimal. Just over all another really foggy day with some dizziness. Dizziness is definitely better compared yesterday, could go to the shops and do stuff around the house without needing to lie down. I did have a little altercation with my house mate at the end of the evening which is rare for us - my partner said I was coming across a bit pointed and moody which I wasn’t conscious of. So trying to monitor that to see if that might be a symptom. 

 

I think I’m in a strong enough space to move my dosage slightly up. 

[Josh]

hi! I never got a response to my notes I posted above, I have been in touch with a psychiatrist who is helping me reinstate but I thought I would come back here for advice. Here are my daily symptom notes since the 30th March. I’m definitely having a few bad days and then a few better days where my main symptoms are just head pressure and bad fogginess along with tinnitus that is fluctuating since reinstating, along with some mild ish anxiety. I think I am coping well and think I could definitely be worse. The reinstatement definitely triggered withdrawals / symptoms of starting Prozac and it’s been hard at times but I am grateful for the health I do have. And think I am showing progress and a good reaction to the medication so far, I’m not sure so please tell me what you think - I also don’t think I am having any violent reactions to supplements or foods, besides general stomach issues.

 

some days don’t have as much detail as I was feeling quite good and stable-ish, apologies for that. 

 

 

could I please have some advice whether I can up my dose to 0.12 ml from 0.11ml today? It’s been 7 days on my new dose of 0.11ml. I feel stronger and my bad patch since upping my dose has seemed to pass. 
 

any advice would be great. Please let me know if you have any other insights or have any questions about what I’ve listed. 
 

Also - just checking - I have been putting my 0.11ml with a micro pipette into a small glass of water and then taking it straight away - that is fine isn’t it?   
 

March 31st

 

9:15 - woke up, feeling good, stomach started hurting and needed the toilet (expected with ibs)

 

10- 0.1ml taken 

 

10:07 - stomach hurting, feeling like I need to go 

 

10:30 tiniest bit dizzy and nauseous while laying in bed 

 

10:35 lots of rumbling and bubbling up and down my stomach 

 

11:00 am - bowl of cereal, Krave, coconut milk and red bush tea 

 

11:55 slightly tingly feeling in thighs 

 

12:45 - took omega 3 

 

13:54 - went for walk to cafe, felt tired and a bit breathless as time went on, dry mouth and throat 

 

14:40 - two baby bells (soft cheese snacks) 

 

15:45 - lions mane

 

15:50 - crisps, tzatziki and guacamole 

 

17:49 - tummy cramps- really really bad diarhea. 

 

19:00 - aubergine pizza for dinner

 

23:02 - lions mane before bed 

 

Notes 

 

 

1st of April 

 

9:45 - wake up from a good sleep with slightly energetic legs, could keep them still but had that sensation in my thighs 

 

10:05 - 0.1ml 

 

10:09 - bad stomach, not as bad as yesterday 

 

10:27 - jaw is stiffening and tensing

 

10:30 - red bush tea 

 

10:37 - two apple cider vinegar and beetroot juice gummies with b12 

 

10:55 - bowl of krave cereal with coconut milk

 

12:40 - slight rush when standing up to quick that translated in a moment of anxiety 

 

12:45 - lions mane

 

13:17 - red bush tea with coconut milk 

 

15:00 - buttered linguine Parmesan and Heinz ketchup 

 

16:21 - 2 x kiwis ( had some chocolate about half an hour before) 

 

17:09 - feeling the tiniest bit low. Deflated

 

20:31 - after cooking and sitting down to eat, checked my phone and the depth of field looked weird , definitely double vision 

 

I ate butter beans leeks pecorino cheese on toast with lemon juice and basil with artichoke and rocket salad with mustard

 

22:49 - a bit of chocolate and took another lions mane 

 

22:55 - red bush tea 

 

 

2nd April 

 

 

9:22 wake up slight tummy cramps

 

10 - 0.1ml 

 

 

10:46 - lions mane 

 

11:12 - bean and leek leftovers and toast 

 

12:04 - apple cider vinegar gummies 

 

17:46 lemonade 

 

19:45 pie

 

 

 

3rd April 

 

9:45 am - wake up 

 

10 - 0.1ml

 

11:38 - apple cider vinegar 

 

13:17 - butter nut and sweet potato soup with seeds and pecorino 

 

Chocolate 

 

14:22 - bit anxious and acid refluxy

 

19:04 - bad anxiety - and tinnitus is really loud

 

20:47 feel like my head and skull feels weird as a result to the anxiety. Tingly head 

 

21:50 - lions mane and omega fish oil 

 

Thursday 4th April 

 

10:15 - 0.1 ml 

10:44 - vision a bit funny, head pressure and sensation, a bit dizzy and foggy

11:11: lions mane

 

12:36 a bit tense and anxious 

 

12:53 - really anxious, chest pain, repeating things in my head - had a really stressful time at home because of finances so this has probably triggered it m

15:51 feeling better a bit dizzy though - took a fish oil 

 

 

 

19:03 - throat a bit sore, feels like there is a strain on my voice 

 

 

5 April 

 

10:20 a 0.1ml

 

11: 50 - lions mane and apple cider vinegar gummies 

 

13:01 a bit anxious , TMJ issues, a bit agitated 

 

14:12 - feeling foggy and cognitively a bit distant, paired with a lot of anxiety and agitation. Keep questioning if I have said already said something in conversation that I was thinking. Anxiety is probably just making my mind race and leaving me a bit out of touch with my senses 

 

15:00 fish oil 

 

15:30 headache going for walk 

 

5:40 - summer rolls 

 

19:19 - still so foggy, bad headache, laid down when came home and throat feels dry and vocal chords feel a bit strained 

 

 

06 April 

 

10:26 - 0.1ml taken 

 

14:25 - lions mane 

 

Feel so tired today - I did a lot of socialising and walking - feel exhausted almost hungover - not sure if it’s because of food or drinks I had (nothing alcoholic)  or from doing lots yesterday 

 

23:00 lions mane 

 

Went to sleep and woke up again to anxiety at 1am with tinnitus being loud, feel that high energy you get with activation syndrome almost. Wanting to get up 

 

Sunday 7th April 

 

11:30 my first 0.11ml dose 

 

Immediately feeling anxious and my body is tense 

 

Feel that tense muscle feeling, anxiety. A bit of tension in my muscles and arms

 

12:05 - lions mane 

 

12:06 feel a bit de realisation - y 

 

12:38 - a bit of back pain - I did carry a heavy shopping bag home, and a bit of a tight chest

 

12:47 - flu like symptoms feel like they are creeping back in.

 

14:10 - sandwich Brie truffle honey rocket and grapes, soda water and lime 

 

15:24 - fish oil 

 

17:30 I feel a bit stiff around my head, slight chest pain, really foggy and a bit fluey hotness .  Laying down after the shops, tinnitus kicks in 

 

18:23 - for the first time I feel a bit depressed, a bit low. It’s hard to tell if this is a symptom? Or a byproduct of my situation. I definitely have been ruminating a lot today about feeling stuck in this run of bad luck of health. And struggling to see a way out of it and a future where one day I am healed and off of this medication with no complications. Feeling low does seem like a natural response 

 

21:14 feel that depression / anxiety feeling in chest. It definitely reminds me of that feeling you get when starting medication, when it makes you feel “worse”. It’s manageable tho, I’m able to sit with it 

 

 

8th April 

 

9:30 - woke up with that slight hallow feeling at the bottom of my chest that depression can give. 

 

10:15 - took 0.11ml (0.44mg) 

 

10:16 - krave cereal, coconut milk and red bush tea

 

11:36 - had a shower, got ready, need to clean the house before the landlord comes but feeling like I just want to curl into bed cause the heightened anxiety / depression feeling in my stomach / chest is making me feel vulnerable. 

 

13:11 but if leg pain near the top of my right leg, aching

 

13:22 - lions mane , leg pain is gone 

 

15:41 - Brie sandwich again, rocket tomatoes and crisps 

 

Ended up feeling a lot better towards of the end of the evening. Felt like a window. 

 

Tues 9th April 

 

9:52 - 0.11ml taken 

 

9:54 - tinnitus in left ear is there. It’s medium but consistent, seems activated 

 

11:33 - fish oil. 

 

Feel okay so far. Tension around my head and slight dazed ness / foggy ness but managing fine so far 

 

12:40 - painful burp hiccups, probably cause I haven’t eaten. Has happened to me before since I have had IBS so not sure if it’s related 

 

13:00 - had leeks and beans and toast 

 

13:25 - belching stopped 

 

Had a good day today, functioning, no anxiety, able to work. Still brain fog 

 

Weds 10 April 

 

9:45 - 0.11ml - tinnitus mild, flared up right after taking it. 

 

Deciding to not take take lions mane today, found out it could be making my brain fog worse. Didn’t realise how dangerous they were. 

 

Head ache, head pressure. 

 

14:55 ate soup and bread head pressure eliviated

 

16:07 past half an hour had tension headache but it feels like my brain is burning almost. Beth weird 

 

18:12 - woke up a from a nap feeling crazy - racing thoughts, hard to

Pin down, ear worms. Heightened anxiety. Definitely sleep inertia. Don’t feel real at all, derealisatoln 

 

18:53 really focused on this over whekming burning brain feeling. It’s quite anxiety inducing

 

19:09 - cold shower to help burning brain, body feels painful and on edge. Nervous system feels shot afterwards around my body. 

 

23:32 managed to calm my anxiety down and bring myself back down, have burning aching muscle sensation pain in my shoulders and back whilst trying to sleep, the pain feels almost electric

 

23:42 - tingly tongue

 

Feels as if I am having a flare up of some nervous system problems 

 

Kept falling asleep and then waking up minutes after I was drifting with dread, did this cycle a few times till I actually fell asleep 

 

11 April 

 

9:00 woke up awful anxiety compressing my chest 

 

10:30 - 0.11ml anxiety has settled but still hurting my chest 

 

10:33 got into bed and the chest pain was very intense 

 

12:06 - aching and pressure around head, still bad anxiety in chest 

 

14:38 - still really bad anxiety in chest. It hurts a lot, going up all the way to my throat. Also have head pain and my stomach and wirling around quite a lot

 

22:37 - had pizza

 

Been gassy / belchy all day / stomach feels almost unwell 

 

Friday 12 April 

 

8:00 am - woke up, good sleep, bad anxiety in chest 

 

8:59 anxiety manages to settle with a cup of red bush tea and laying in bed chatting to my partner. Stomach still feels like it’s whirling slightly and have that feeling like I need to go to the toilet 

 

10:03 - took 0.11ml

 

10:13 - slight head pressure and fogginess and mild muscle sensations. This was present before taking the dose. Going for a long walk to clear my mind 

 

11:56 - got home after my walk and meditating in the park. Tinnitus slightly flaring up once I sat on the sofa. Just experiencing this and head pressure and fogginess, and some low level anxiety. 

 

13:33 - arts some kimchi 

 

13:50 - pasta and tomatoe soup used for sauce with Parmesan, stomach feels like it’s gassy and doing flips after 

 

17:08 -  so fatigued - also restless, but don’t want to sleep as when I wake up from a nap i feel crazy and the dread is too intense, I don’t want to risk it 

 

17:32 - felling a bit low and anxious , like a nauseating feeling of my situation. It’s mild for now 

 

19:16 tension headache. Moderate but manageable. - took a magnesium 

 

Also noticed a bit of nausea and lack of appetite just laying in the back ground 

 

Also feeling very frustrated how long it could

take me to stabilise. This is an agonisingly slow process. Knowing this is very anxiety inducing and can make me spiral.

 

 

20:00 - feta and spinach quiche with Caesar salad , romaine lettuce and sparkling water with lime. 

 

Feel generally unwell. While eating just realising how unwell I fell. 

 

20:27 Laying down and really feeling unwell. Almost anxiety, mixed with nausea mixed with unwell ness and restlessness. Neck and back is hurting 

 

22:57 - Sickness feeling has passed majorly, still feel residuals of it but a lot better 

 

13 April

 

8:40 - woke up, no anxiety, al thought my stomach is hurting and feels like k have to go to the toilet 

 

9:27 - mild anxiety in chest, mornings seem to be when I have windows. Started feeling the tiniest bit low but I got up and it is manageable

 

9:55 - took 0.11ml 

 

11:04 - second cup of red bush and coconut milk 

 

11:09 - bad memory, can’t remember if I said something out loud or thought it whilst watching a film with my partner 

 

12:04 - so far having a good day. Symptoms have taken a back step, just the mildest anxiety in my chest and odd low level woozy feeling.  Very manageable

 

12:50 magnesium before heading out on a walk with my partner 

 

1.30 - ice cream with flake, Brie and rocket honey baguette grapes run coke choloate caramel bar 

 

Had a really good after moon, felt relaxed and happy. 

 

16:51 - head tension and neck pain bit of broken thoufht, not sure if a bit of hay fever from the park is linked to this. Head tension feels slightly like it’s in my brain 

 

17:17 - got home, tired, fatigued, brain physically hurts with tension headache. Manageable. 

 

18:26 - a few spikes in tinnitus, been harder to ignore and think it’s triggered by me focusing on my symptoms 

 

19:04 - summer pies with feta spinach and pumpkins and Caesar salad again 

 

21:52 tinnitus is continuing to spike every now and then. It’s quite loud right now, also had some mild depressive thoughts and feelings 

 

Over all not a bad day, one of the better ones. 

[Josh]

14 April 

 

Woke up at 8am - last night had annoying tinnitus that was making me anxious, didn’t have the strength to try and ignore it so I slept with one head phone in on my left side and listened to tinnitus playlist with nature sounds to help, had a decent sleep with this even though I woke up a few times in the night being bothered by it. 

 

Once waking up started scrolling through forums and looking at euchastian tube dysfunction (which I have since coming off Prozac) really focused on my tinnitus. Besides that I have been able to ignore it. Been having a good morning so far, mild anxiety and feel relatively together, mornings are usually my windows before taking my medication and the day progresses 

 

 

10.00 am - took my 0.11ml - not moving up to 0.12ml yet until I hear back from volunteer 

 

11:03 Tinnitus is constant today. I have really been focusing on it though, going to try and not research it or doom scroll by looking at other peoples posts on it and try and live with it to try and bring it down. I also have really uncomfortable ear fullness in my left ear where I get tinnitus. Keep poking my finger in my ear to comfort it, and also in right ear.  Definitively think I have Eustachian tube dysfunction from withdrawals and that it could be linked to my tinnitus.

 

Actually having a good day, not a lot of symptoms, but I am finding myself obsessively

Scrolling through SAD finding people’s experiences on tinnitus and ETD to see if it resolved. 

 

12:19 - magnesium, 

 

12:30 , rye bread and Kim chi 

 

14:08 walked to a restaurant - felt really exhausted and started getting tension headache, some double vision. Really annoying as I was feeling really good today. 

 

15:00 - ate marinara pizza, Tinnitus is really consistent today, even while I’m out which doesn’t usually happen. 

 

16:26 - got home, feel so so so bad. Flu symtoms, exhaustion, out of breath, tinnitus, tension head ache, body pain, this is probably once of the worst times I’ve felt. Feeling really sore and weak in my arms, they feel heavy.

 

16:45 - broke down crying to my boyfriend, sobbed for about 20 minutes. Feeling like I can’t cope with this, not knowing if I’m getting better. Not understanding if this is good signs that I’m stabilising. It’s all very unpredictable and scary right now 

 

20:06 - feel better after being home and relaxing, bit of nausea. Relaxing seems to make my physical symtoms go down massively. I just took a fish oil as well

 

20:49 - had a sip of liptons iced peach tea, didn’t have any more as it may contain caffeine

 

21:05 - pasta with Parmesan, butter and ketchup 

 

21.33 - Eustachian tube dysfunction is really annoying me. Ears feel really out of pressure in a really uncomfortable way, it’s never been like this since my withdrawals. Feels a lot more uncomfortable

 

21:57 - bed time 

 

Notes 

 

Started out really good, went really bad. Seem to have windows in the morning most times and the evening. Also realising how rubbish I feel if I go out and exert too much energy. Tinnitus is really strong and the clicking in my ears and ear pressure. Praying tomorrow is better and reinstatement is working. 

 

Hopefully things settle the higher I go, still holding for my 8th day at 0.11ml - want to live up to 0.12 but need advice. 

 

i also posted all my other symtom logs above in previous posts - if someone could check through them that would be so helpful 

 

thank you! 

[Josh]

@Emonda @Erimus hello, just checking in - should I be tagging volunteers so they can see my posts? I have a few above that haven’t been checked and was just wondering if this is what I need to be doing to make sure they are being seen? 
 

I understand you might be very busy helping other people so apologies if this isn’t what I should be doing. 
 

just looking to get some insights on my patterns of symptoms and when I should increase my dosage. I’m still not sure if I am kindling from starting my medication this past month has made me feel worse but I think I’m displaying good signs, I’m experiencing a rough time but I also think I’m doing relatively well - even tho considering starting my medication again brought out the worst of these withdrawals.
 

Let me know what you think or any advice would be very helpful, thank you so much x

[Emonda]

11 hours ago, Josh said:

last night had annoying tinnitus that was making me anxious,

 

I have constant tinnitus. Quiet background music and getting outside to exercise help = distractions from just sitting around listening to it.  

 

Sometimes it's worse than others. I find things that contain corn starch/corn syrup make it worse.

 

1 hour ago, Josh said:

just checking in - should I be tagging volunteers so they can see my posts? I have a few above that haven’t been checked and was just wondering if this is what I need to be doing to make sure they are being seen? 

 

If you tag someone, they will be alerted to it. The reality is that there are so few of us (moderators), and many, many current members, and a line of people wanting to join. I wish it wasn't that way.

 

1 hour ago, Josh said:

but I think I’m displaying good signs, I’m experiencing a rough time but I also think I’m doing relatively well

 

Sounds positive. I suggest you read this again: Windows and waves pattern of stabilization

 

I know of others here that have take 6 months + to stabilise after a CT and reinstatement.

 

Time and continued patience.

 

Cheers, Emonda

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Josh]

Hi @Emonda, thanks so much for your reply. 
 

I totally understand there are few moderators - thank you for all the work you are doing. 
 

the constant tinnitus is very jarring. It’s strange, when I started getting withdrawals after my first spike it lessened gradually and became really manageable. Since reinstating it’s getting more persistent - will there be a chance it settles again as I stabilise? What was your experience of it? 
 

im scared reinstating is going to make it permanently worse and make permanent damage. 
 

im doing my best at working with it and will continue to do so. 
 

I also understand that the road ahead is long - but I think there aren’t any adverse reactions so far on this small dose - would you agree that I have nothing to worry about now in terms of kindling or it showing itself to be hostile to me? 
 

when do you think I can increase my doses - is every week okay? How do I tell when to increase, when I’m feeling a bit better or all symtoms are gone?