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wantrelief

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Carmie
On 5/3/2018 at 2:16 AM, wantrelief said:

I was thinking about a tiny reduction every two weeks as another option as well.  I think it is going to take some experimentation to see what ends up being the best course of action fo me.  

 

Hi wantrelief, 

 

Just wanted to say all the best with your taper.  

 

I hope the tiny reduction every two weeks works for you. It’s all trial and error, isn’t it? 

 

Wishing you all all the best and sending hugs 🤗

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wantrelief

Thank you for your well wishes @Carmie !  

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wantrelief

I wanted to post an update that I made a small drop last night  (2.5%).  I am going to see how this goes and if everything seems ok, was thinking of trying another small drop two weeks later.

 

Question:  If I do make a second drop, how long is it advisable to then hold?

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brassmonkey

I'd give it three to four weeks after the second decrease before dropping again.  Make sure everything is settled out before making the change.

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wantrelief

Thank you, Brassmonkey....I will see how this plays out.

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DMV64

Hey checking in on you! How is it going?

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coldturkmama

Same. I check in every day lol I don’t say much but I’m here

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wantrelief

Aw, thanks so much @DMV64 and @coldturkmama for checking in on me....that is really sweet!  

 

I am doing ok.  I haven't known what to say that isn't repetitive so haven't updated my thread much.  I still feel the same level of ickiness which is good as so far I haven't noticed anything from my recent decrease - today is day 4 so will have to see how it plays out next week. This is where the repetitiveness comes in....I am scared of feeling this way everyday for an unknown period of time.  There are days I handle this uncertainty better than others.  Luckily today is a day where I seem to be in a more accepting frame of mind. I have no idea why somedays are better than others in this respect.  I have been reading the book Kristine recommended by a Buddhist monk and he has some good things to say about fear which has been comforting.  I also have started seeing a therapist who works on DBT skills (I am already seeing someone else to work on CBT - all of these acronyms!).  I am finding it overwhelming as it is a lot of listening/concentrating which I am not really very good at in this state, especially in the morning, but I hope some of it sinks in.  I am trying to add some skills to combat the awful mental part of this debacle.  One day I had a thought that this is all a game and it kind of helped me remove myself from the situation a bit.  I wish I could stop playing now as it is getting tiring and it is only the beginning of this journey for me. Sigh.  

 

I hope you two are doing ok and everyone else too.

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Rosetta

Hugs, Wantrelief.  I wish I could say something helpful.  Maybe think about the fact that you can hold as long as you like?  You will have some control.  I suppose I envy that a bit, but I'm not sure that I suffer more than people who are tapering.  Still, I hope that you can decide when to drop and time that around things that are going on in life?  Maybe this can get to the point that it can  be better for you than it has been for me.  I hope so.

 

-Rosetta

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wantrelief

Thanks so much, @Rosetta.  It is true, there is some control over this so if things go south I can hold....that is comforting.  I do really hope at some point this will get better as I taper down.

 

I hope you are doing ok, my friend.

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coldturkmama

I know exactly what you mean- it’s so different one day from the next. Very difficult to stay positive sometimes.

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Carmie

Hi wantrelief, 

 

Im glad you’re having an accepting day today.

 

Good visualisation in thinking of this as a game and removing yourself.

 

One day we think positively n then the next not so much. It’s a massive roller coaster ride but one day our little roller coaster car will come to a dead stop and the ride will be over. 

 

All the best with your tapering.

 

Sending hugs🤗🤗

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wantrelief

Thanks, @Carmie.  I liked what you said about one day our little roller coaster will come to a dead stop and the ride will be over.  

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wantrelief
On 5/9/2018 at 11:05 AM, brassmonkey said:

I'd give it three to four weeks after the second decrease before dropping again.  Make sure everything is settled out before making the change.

Hey Brassmonkey - I re-read the Slide thread and was wondering why the hold wouldn't be two weeks (of course depending on how I feel)?  I will - hopefully - have made two 2.5% cuts (every other week) within a month's time.  Thank you in advance for your help!

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brassmonkey

It would depend on how you're feeling at the end of the two weeks. If your symptoms have resolved themselves back to WDnormal you could go ahead and drop again, but any "leftover symptoms" will carry over to the next drop and begin to compound. Two or three drops on a two week schedule would be fine, but there needs to be a longer hold thrown in to let the "background" or carryover symptoms resolve before continuing.  It only takes a few drops for things to compound to the point that they start to get out of control. Even though 2.5% seems like a small amount it still needs to be done slowly. It's a lot better to go slow and be comfortable than to rush things and risk a crash.

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wantrelief

Sounds good, thank you @brassmonkey!

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DMV64
On 5/13/2018 at 2:45 PM, brassmonkey said:

begin to compound

Yes. Yes. This happened to me. And it was not pretty. And it is still going on, trying to stablize from a too rapid (for me) taper.. 

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DMV64
On 5/13/2018 at 2:45 PM, brassmonkey said:

back to WDnormal

@brassmonkey I have a question. I mean I feel like I have been trying to get back to Wd normal since my February too fast taper crash. And I am not there, unless we consider a still fairly extreme state at least a chunk of time WD normal. How do we define WD normal...I mean I know it is different for everyone, but generally....

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brassmonkey

I see WDnormal as the overall baseline of where you are in general. The place you are when you're not feeling good, but you're not feeling bad. Sorta a rolling average of the past couple of months between the windows and waves.  Watching the level of WDnormal is a good indicator that things are improving.  Over time you should be seeing a raising of the standard for WDnormal.  So how you're feeling now is better than say six months ago. It changes very slowly but is a really good indicator.

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DMV64
15 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

changes very slowly

Ok, I will keep my eye on that then. I wish my brain was working better to go things like graphs. I have a datebook where I rate days but would like a better system.

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Rosetta

Hi Wantrelief,

I'm just stopping in to say hi.  Thanks for your kind thoughts on my thread.  I appreciate that very much.

Rosetta

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wantrelief

Hello SA friends,

 

I have really been struggling this week.  I think it is related to PMS but knowing the probable cause still makes it difficult to go through.  I already am dealing with intense depression and the hormonal shifts seem to really exacerbate my feelings of fear and hopelessness. SI has also increased. I feel quite fragile and have been crying a lot.  

 

I was supposed to make another 2.5% cut on Tuesday but if I am feeling this way, I am thinking it would be wise to hold off.  This, however, only adds to my hopelessness as I have barely made a dent in this taper and it feels like I am never going to get off of this drug, and therefore, feel this way for such a long time to come.  I am trying to use my CBT skills, breathing, as well as mindfulness but sometimes the skills go out the window and I just feel overwhelmed.

 

Thank you for letting me vent.  I hope everyone is doing well on their journeys.

 

 

 

 

 

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Rosetta

I'm sorry, Wantrelief.  I'm dreading the PMS, too.  Remember, there is no rush.  The slower the better.  Try to forget about the taper.  This is temporary.  Breathe.

A big hug, Rosetta

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Kristine

Thinking of you my friend and sending you the warmest of hugs. You are going to be okay...these horrible feelings will pass. Much Love K xo

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wantrelief
24 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I'm sorry, Wantrelief.  I'm dreading the PMS, too.  Remember, there is no rush.  The slower the better.  Try to forget about the taper.  This is temporary.  Breathe.

A big hug, Rosetta

Thank you so much for your message.  Yes, I have to keep reminding myself this is temporary....it sure doesn't feel like it in the moment but it is.  Taking a breathe as I write this....thank you for the reminder  :)  A big hug back - WR.

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wantrelief
1 minute ago, Kristine said:

Thinking of you my friend and sending you the warmest of hugs. You are going to be okay...these horrible feelings will pass. Much Love K xo

Thank you so much, Kristine.  I am thinking about you too, my friend, and hope you are ok.  You are right, this will pass....for both of us. I am hoping tomorrow is a better day.  Much love and big hugs - WR.

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Hazel

Hi Wantrelief,

sorry to hear you are going through a hard time as well.  I am beginning PMS symptoms as well and they make everything worse.  Wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope this passes soon.

Hazel

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wantrelief
3 hours ago, Hazel said:

Hi Wantrelief,

sorry to hear you are going through a hard time as well.  I am beginning PMS symptoms as well and they make everything worse.  Wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope this passes soon.

Hazel

Thank you very much for your kind message, Hazel.  I am sorry you have noticed a worsening in your symptoms too because of PMS.  I am hopeful you will start to feel better as your body/brain adjusts to the new medication schedule.  I am thinking about you too - WR.

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Scorpio

Hi wantrelief

 

you are one of the strongest and determined people I know on this site and this horrible time will go along with those awful thoughts. Just give time for the pms symptoms to pass and then you will be back on track. Thinking of you and sending you hugs. 

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wantrelief
3 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi wantrelief

 

you are one of the strongest and determined people I know on this site and this horrible time will go along with those awful thoughts. Just give time for the pms symptoms to pass and then you will be back on track. Thinking of you and sending you hugs. 

Oh Scorpio, thank you, but I think you are describing yourself.  I really appreciate your thoughts, my friend.  Yes, this too shall pass....I must keep reminding myself as it feels like it will be this way forever.  I am thinking about you, as always. - WR.

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FarmGirlWorks

Hi @wantrelief: PMS makes it all feel so much worse, always. I too am going thru it this week and SI and deep depression returned (before it was only a lighter depression). Hang in there, you are so strong to be doing this. And that is wise not to cut now. Slow and steady wins the race.

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powerback

Hi WR sorry your suffering so much ,sending you healing vibes ,I can relate about the tater I'm on an excruciating hold and I've learned patience I never new existed .drop all thoughts of taper for now and find ways to sooth your soul and have bucket loads of compassion for yourself .

Be safe . 

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wantrelief
2 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

Hi @wantrelief: PMS makes it all feel so much worse, always. I too am going thru it this week and SI and deep depression returned (before it was only a lighter depression). Hang in there, you are so strong to be doing this. And that is wise not to cut now. Slow and steady wins the race.

Oh no, I am so sorry you are going through it too, FGW....it is really awful.  You hang in there too, my courageous friend.  Thank you so much for all of your continued support and friendship.

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wantrelief
1 hour ago, powerback said:

Hi WR sorry your suffering so much ,sending you healing vibes ,I can relate about the tater I'm on an excruciating hold and I've learned patience I never new existed .drop all thoughts of taper for now and find ways to sooth your soul and have bucket loads of compassion for yourself .

Be safe . 

Thank you for your kind post, PB.  I am going to heed your and others warnings and sideline the taper for now.  I don't think it would be wise to cut tomorrow. I'll reassess when this passes.  I hope you are doing ok.  

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Carmie
On 5/21/2018 at 10:30 AM, wantrelief said:

Hello SA friends,

 

I have really been struggling this week.  I think it is related to PMS but knowing the probable cause still makes it difficult to go through.  I already am dealing with intense depression and the hormonal shifts seem to really exacerbate my feelings of fear and hopelessness. SI has also increased. I feel quite fragile and have been crying a lot.  

 

I was supposed to make another 2.5% cut on Tuesday but if I am feeling this way, I am thinking it would be wise to hold off.  This, however, only adds to my hopelessness as I have barely made a dent in this taper and it feels like I am never going to get off of this drug, and therefore, feel this way for such a long time to come.  I am trying to use my CBT skills, breathing, as well as mindfulness but sometimes the skills go out the window and I just feel overwhelmed.

 

Thank you for letting me vent.  I hope everyone is doing well on their journeys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi wantrelief, 

 

Im really sorry you’re struggling so much this week.

 

I was reading today that quite a few people struggle a lot because of PMS etc. 

 

I will also be tapering for many, many more years, but I’ve resigned myself to that fact. We don’t want to add even more stress to our bodies by going too fast. Yes, I’d love to be off these drugs really quickly too but there’s no way that will happen. Stressing about how long it will take will just make our symptoms worse. Any kind of stress will. 

 

That being said, it’s good to have a rant every now and again because this really is the fight of our lives!

 

Im so sorry you’re struggling so much at the moment. Hope the hormones settle.

 

Sending hugs🤗

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wantrelief

Thanks for the well wishes, @Carmie.

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