Moderator brassmonkey Posted February 12, 2018 Moderator Share Posted February 12, 2018 Hi Aberdeen-- Thanks for dropping by my thread with some encouragement. It's just a blip with extenuating circumstances and will clear up. It sounds like you're doing really well overall. Getting back to the painting will be a real plus, I've noticed the creativity and drive to create is really starting to kick in. I almost have too many projects to keep track of. Sorting out the "what's WD and what's real life" is a bit of a challenge, it calls for a total change in ones thinking as we cant blame WD anymore and have to actually do something about the problem. Wishing you continued improvements ((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) Brass 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
LexAnger Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 You made my day Aberdeen! I'm so happy for you that you won the battle finally even it saddens me with this long fighting! You are a true hero and thank you very much for the inspiring update and hope you gave to everyone on the road still. Love, Lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Downbutnotout Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 8 hours ago, aberdeen said: Thought it was time for an update. I am now 20 months off all meds, after a long slow taper. I can honestly say that the improvements are still coming and actually surprise me, because I figured I healed as good as I could by the end of my taper. I still get anhedonia, irritability,depression,moderate anxiety during pms (but I dont attribute this to wd really). Otherwise, I am free! I almost never have DR anymore and that was a constant companion for years. I wake up with mild anxiety still but this could be perimenopause along with the pms. I do find myself thinking about painting all the time, and moving towards getting things going in my life that would force me into a routine of it. That is huge! I never felt I would care about art again. I enjoy music again and feel totally joyful when surrounded by nature again. I can travel with next to no anxiety and depression, when I feel it, is very short lived and not nearly as dark as it once was. I was writing to someone recently and realized that my darkest days (years) of wd are becoming hard to recall, which is amazing. I'm living proof that a slow taper is doable, and that life afterwards gets better. The real healing began after I reached zero. Good for you! 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment
peng Posted February 13, 2018 Share Posted February 13, 2018 Wow, wonderful & inspiring, Aberdeen! Best wishes for continuing bliss with "real life". Born 1945. 1999 - First Effexor/Venlafaxine. 2016 Withdrawal research. Effexor. 13Jul - 212.5mg; 6Aug - 200.0mg; 24Aug - 187.5mg; 13Sep - 175.0mg; 3Oct - 162.5mg; 26Oct - 150mg 2017 9Jan - 150.00mg; 23Mar - 137.50mg; 24Apr - 125.00mg; 31May - 112.50mg holding; 3Sep - 100.00mg; 20Sep - 93.75mg; 20Oct - 87.5mg; 12Nov - 81.25mg; 13 Dec - 75.00mg 2018 18Jan - 69.1mg; 16Feb - 62.5mg; 16March - 57.5mg (-8%); 22Apr - 56.3mg(-2%); CRASHED - Updose 29May - 62.5mg; Updose - 1Jul - 75.0mg. Updose - 2Aug - 87.5mg. Updose - 27Aug - 100.0mg. Updose - 11Oct 112.5mg. Updose - 6Nov 125.00mg. 2019 Updoses 19 Jan - 150.0mg. 1April - 162.5mg. 24 April - Feeling better - doing tasks, getting outside. 7 May - usual depression questionnaire gives "probably no depression" result. Supps/Vits Omega 3; Chelated Magnesium; Prebiotics/Probiotics, Vit D3. Link to comment
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted February 16, 2018 Mentor Share Posted February 16, 2018 Great update Aberdeen so very happy for you! thanks so much for sharing this, it gives the newbies, esp, a lot of hope (and me too, as I'm just a few months off. I am excited to know that things could get even better than they've been. I have some minor, tiny short waves but most of the time, I feel really good and for lack of a better term, "normal") PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment
aberdeen Posted February 20, 2018 Author Share Posted February 20, 2018 Thanks everyone! It's true Brass, we can opnly blame wd for so much for so long. My life is not perfect, and sometimes I feel changed by this experience for the worse (or maybe sometimes the better?). I'm way more cynical and somewhere along the way I learned how to escape from my own head, which was necessary for survival when life inside my head was a landmine. But now I have to re-learn some things and its not easy. I tend to want to stay out of my head, and have to un-learn some avoidance behaviour. And sometimes I am still very much unmotivated.. I am now thinking and feeling more than I have in years, but acting on it is still lagging. I can't tell if this is residual anhedonia, my current age and hormonal place, or learned behaviour. Foe so long, action was impossible because I was preoccupied with trying to raise children, act "normal" when I was constantly intensely anxious/ depressed/disoriented with daily DR....now I feel content to stare into space and do a whole lot of nothing unless I have to (like go to work or tend to necessary things obviously). But there's a peacefulness, almost necessity to it. I can"t tell if its a good thing or a bad thing. I just know that I don't have the mental energy to tackle "fun", or engage like I once did, nor the need. At least not right now. Maybe its residual healing that needs to happen or a sort of "after shock". Maybe there's an area between horrible suffering, and full blown positive living, where the energy that was drained well below empty has to replenish before being spent in a new way. But, its nothing like the wd days, and yet....not exactly like the days before it either. I'm happpy to be where I am though, and the fact that I hardly remember how awful it was, and how terrifying every day felt, my life is amazing now in comparison. I know that coming off slowly was the key to keeping the worst symptoms in check. Its definitely the only way to do this. 2 2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia) Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows). Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg. Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16 Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Songbird Posted February 21, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 21, 2018 That is great to hear! Interesting theory about needing time to rest and replenish your energy. 2001–2002 paroxetine 2003 citalopram 2004-2008 paroxetine (various failed tapers) 2008 paroxetine slow taper down to 2016 Aug off paroxetine2016 citalopram May 20mg Oct 15mg … slow taper down2018 citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg 18 Nov 3.8mg 2019 15 Mar 3.6mg 21 May 3.4mg 26 Dec 3.2mg 2020 19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg 2021 29 Aug 2.4mg 15 Nov 2.3mg Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted February 21, 2018 Moderator Share Posted February 21, 2018 (edited) I have to agree. Going through a taper is a very physically grueling experience that leaves us beyond exhausted. Once we are free of the drugs our body can start to relax, recharge and rebuild. There will be a down time for many months after hitting "0" where we are just not capable of doing much more than just resting. I have noticed over the past nine months, that is exactly what is happening. I was exhausted to start with but slowly I am getting my strength back and able to do more things for a longer period of time. But I still have to pace myself and take a lot of breaks to keep from "hitting the wall". Mental clarity and motivation are increasing weekly. Emotions are coming back in a big way and require sorting, relearning and understanding. Not to mention socializing. Being happy to be alive and actively engaged in the world again is such a wonderful feeling, but over whelming at the same time. There is still so much sorting, understanding and fitting in yet to do, but like everything else it has to be done ones bit at a time. Edited February 21, 2018 by brassmonkey 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
rupa Posted May 22, 2018 Share Posted May 22, 2018 On 2/20/2018 at 11:05 PM, aberdeen said: Thanks everyone! It's true Brass, we can opnly blame wd for so much for so long. My life is not perfect, and sometimes I feel changed by this experience for the worse (or maybe sometimes the better?). I'm way more cynical and somewhere along the way I learned how to escape from my own head, which was necessary for survival when life inside my head was a landmine. But now I have to re-learn some things and its not easy. I tend to want to stay out of my head, and have to un-learn some avoidance behaviour. And sometimes I am still very much unmotivated.. I am now thinking and feeling more than I have in years, but acting on it is still lagging. I can't tell if this is residual anhedonia, my current age and hormonal place, or learned behaviour. Foe so long, action was impossible because I was preoccupied with trying to raise children, act "normal" when I was constantly intensely anxious/ depressed/disoriented with daily DR....now I feel content to stare into space and do a whole lot of nothing unless I have to (like go to work or tend to necessary things obviously). But there's a peacefulness, almost necessity to it. I can"t tell if its a good thing or a bad thing. I just know that I don't have the mental energy to tackle "fun", or engage like I once did, nor the need. At least not right now. Maybe its residual healing that needs to happen or a sort of "after shock". Maybe there's an area between horrible suffering, and full blown positive living, where the energy that was drained well below empty has to replenish before being spent in a new way. But, its nothing like the wd days, and yet....not exactly like the days before it either. I'm happpy to be where I am though, and the fact that I hardly remember how awful it was, and how terrifying every day felt, my life is amazing now in comparison. I know that coming off slowly was the key to keeping the worst symptoms in check. Its definitely the only way to do this. Hello Dear Aberdeen, I am very Gald to know your thread. I am tapering. I am at 0.625 of olanzapine. So far I am using 2.5m.g tablets to cut with pill cutter. It is difficult to cut more than 0.625 accurately. Please help with the math. How much water I have to mix to 2.5 mg tablet to take out 0.625 mg and further 10% m.gs accurately with syringe? Can you please help with the math? Thank you. Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use. Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep. Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance. Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017. May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml. Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018. "0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now. Link to comment
Longroadhome Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 @aberdeen good to read your thread another Paxil survivor ! Hoorah ! can you tell me did you have many symptoms tapering from Paxil ? also if you did, did they get lesser in intensity the lower you went? thank you LRH Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈 Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg, Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg 🎈 December 25th 2022 drug free these dates are approximate Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted May 30, 2020 Moderator Share Posted May 30, 2020 LRH-- I don't think you will get an answer from Aberdeen. She finished her taper two years ago and has been moving on with her life leaving this all behind. Last I corresponded with her she was doing fine and is recovering well. This entire thread talks about her journey from an Effexor CT through starting and tapering Paxil. It is a very interesting read and fill of information. She is a true success story. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Longroadhome Posted May 30, 2020 Share Posted May 30, 2020 6 minutes ago, brassmonkey said: LRH-- I don't think you will get an answer from Aberdeen. She finished her taper two years ago and has been moving on with her life leaving this all behind. Last I corresponded with her she was doing fine and is recovering well. This entire thread talks about her journey from an Effexor CT through starting and tapering Paxil. It is a very interesting read and fill of information. She is a true success story. Hi Brass! and do I love reading success stories !!! didn’t look at her last date of posting. Think she’s been on another thread a recent post But could be wrong. I’ll read her thread. hope all ok with you Brass take care and have good weekend our weather at the moment in England is exceptional x Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈 Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg, Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg 🎈 December 25th 2022 drug free these dates are approximate Link to comment
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