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☼ Brassmonkey: Talking about myself


brassmonkey

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Thanks Tom! 

 

Merriest of Christmas(es) to you my friend. Thanks for all your shared knowledge and support throughout this year. It has been priceless - You've been nothing short of a legend.

May your new year be filled with happiness and contentness!

 

Chat to you in 2018!

 

Hugs,

Nick

 

 

Started Citalopram in 2005 (aged 15) for apparent "OCD" - 60mg 

July 2015 attempted 2 x 10% + cuts 4 weeks apart. WD symptoms intense at times. Need to slow down.

 

November 2016 - Resumed taper. 1.25 - 1.5% decrease weekly approx.

44.5mg November 2016. Jan 2017 42.5 mg. March 2017 40 mg. June 2017 37mg. September 2018 22mg. Nov 2018 Holding at 22mg to stabilise from moderate wave. January 2020 - Holding, mostly feeling fine, but still having some waves at times. 

 

February 2020 - Resumed taper , 1.5% reduction weekly/every two weeks. 

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  • Moderator

Another member was asking me about "fighting against anhedonia and the loss of emotions".  This is a big problem that most of us going through ADWD are faced with.  I thought I would reshare my answer here for others to read:

 

You can't fight against it.  This is a drug induced sensation that we have no control over.  Trying to fight it or over come it just burns a lot of energy and causes a huge amount of frustration and anxiety because it doesn't help anything.  The emotions, feelings of joy, happiness, love and excitement as well as creativity, ambition and a whole lot more are being chemically suppressed and for the time being are just not accessible. Acceptance of the situation is the best path to follow.  As you reduce your dose further and your body has a chance to heal your emotions and all will slowly start to come back, but it does take a lot of time.  As I mentioned in the post you quoted, at the time I was off all drugs for five months I was still having some trouble with lack of feelings.  I am now rapidly approaching 10 months off and still am having the occasional bout with it. But things are so much better than they were when I was still tapering.

 

One thing I did learn was to look for and cherish all the little moments of joy.  They actually are popping up all the time, but are very fleeting and easily overlooked.  When you look at a flower, instead of thinking "darn, I can't enjoy this flower", watch for the momentary little flash of joy that that flower brings when you first see it, and acknowledge it when it happens.  Stop and try to see the beauty in things, even if you don't feel it. "Wow, the sun on those clouds is really pretty, one day soon I will feel it again".  Stop and recognize the joy/wonder in the scene, but let your body react in it's own manner.  This exercise will help reestablish the neural pathways and little by little dig out and strengthen the feelings.

 

Like the rest of ADWD it is a tortuously long slow process that can be very frustrating, but in the end is so worth all the effort. 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Great post, Brass.

Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements

Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium

Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium 

End 2021  year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg

End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg 

End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg

Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper.

Taper is 95% complete.

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg  

March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper

Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper

Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper.  Current dose as of Feb. 22: 7.6mg

Taper is 90% complete.  

  

Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, anti-candida, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Brass, just dropping by to say hi and hope you are doing well over the holidays. Hugs!!!!

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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  • Moderator

Hi Sky-- Things are going great so far.  Just got back from Portland last night. Spent a nice relaxed week with some friends up there.  Didn't do a whole lot but it was nice just spending time with them.  The flight up was an adventure in that the airline lost all of our luggage.  It ended up taking two days to get it back.  Ended up that when we checked in they put the wrong name and flight information on tags, then when they found it they couldn't figure out how to get it onto the delivery truck to get it to us.  We were very glad to finally get our warm cloths as it started snowing.  Then on the trip home the plane was delayed 45 minutes so they just left all the baggage sitting on the runway in the rain.  When we finally got back to LA everything was soaked through so we have it spread all over the house drying out. Ah the adventures of travel.  To prove we are undaunted we are starting to plan a trip to India to photograph tigers with a possible side trip back to Kenya or possibly New Zealand or Hong Kong.  It's still in the early stages of planning.

 

I hope the holidays have been treating you well.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Mentor

hi Tom

random post, as you may have heard, it's brutally cold in the northeast where I am and in large parts of the US right now,

and I  keep hearing ppl say things like "brass monkey" cold

So I looked that up and found the phrase "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey"

(anyone interested to know what that means can easily google it)

 

got me wondering how you came up with your user name...

(my apologies if it's mentioned in your thread)

 

anyway, if anyone wants to know "how cold is it??"

this is what I"m gonna tell them from now on, hahaha

 

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Moderator

I did explain it once upon a time but that was back at Prior Place so it is lost to cyberspace.  It took several weeks of thinking about it to finally decide. Having worked in the entertainment business most of my life, being a writer, producer and performer I have learned that a good moniker is very important.  I am quite a fan of the world of Steampunk, murder mysteries and intrigue.  I had come up with several different names, bit they didn't have the right feel/connotation.  I happened to see "Brassmonkey" on a Steampunk site one day and it spoke to me.  A quick google showed that it fit a lot of the qualities I was interested in, distinctive, intriguing, positive, not related to drugs and WD,  so I decided that it would do.  I find the references to the WWII secret agent in the Orient quit intriguing.  In keeping with the theme I called my intro thread at PP "Letters from the Island of Anhedonia", a name that I really liked.  It is kind of a tip of the hat to the composer Kurt Weill, whose songs have a lost abandoned feel to them that is very reminiscent of going through WD, and clearly expressed how I was feeling at the time. 

 

The comment about the cold does not mean what people first think it does.  The real meaning is a bit prosaic and when you think about it a pretty miserable situation, but still interesting.  BTW, I have been that cold too.  While living in Montana I recall spending a week at -65F/-54C.  Atmospheric conditions get very interesting and you don't want to be outside very long when it gets that cold.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Mentor

thanks so much for the explanation for your user name!

it's interesting how you went about choosing it. 

 

when I hear the name Brassmonkey, I think of someone who is strong and solid going thru a wild and rough and unpredictable time. I actually assumed that was why you chose it, hahaha. 

Of course, I used the context of this forum and WD/Recovery, not knowing you outside of this framework.

so now I've got to change my assumptions!! 
one thing I've found out during this long journey is how far off my assumptions can be, and how often I rely on them to explain the world to myself.  But inquiring and finding out what is true and real, instead, can be liberating and sometimes fun.

 

 

more learning, ouch, it hurts my head LOL

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Moderator

"when I hear the name Brassmonkey, I think of someone who is strong and solid going thru a wild and rough and unpredictable time. I actually assumed that was why you chose it, hahaha. "

 

There are a lot of factors that go into making a choice like this, and this actually was was part of the consideration.  So your assumption was correct.  As I mentioned I'n a writer,producer, performer so I do a lot of sub-conscience analysis of things like this just as a part of everyday life.  How will I perceive the name, how will others perceive it, how does it sound in contest, out of context, what positive attributes can be attached to it, what negative ones? What story does one see when they hear the name? The list goes on and on.  That's why it took me several weeks to finally settle on it.  Sometimes, after all the analysis, it just comes down to "it sounds pretty cool".

 

I like the way you reacted to it, and in the nonSA world it's pretty close to the "real me".

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator

Oh, Oww, Ouch!!  My back has been bothering me on and off for a couple of weeks now and finally hit with the spasms this evening.  The whole right side is tied in one huge knot.  Just hope I don't have to sneeze.  Going to go to bed and see if the heat wrap  can loosen things up over night.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi, Tom. Have you been able to do gentle, restorative yoga during withdrawal? If not, when you're feeling up to it, you may want to check out YouTube for specific yoga poses for an injured back.

 

Low back pain was one of my main pain symptoms and I found that doing yoga poses for people with injured backs was gentle enough to do during withdrawal and was very helpful, especially early in my journey as I came off several drugs that are also used as muscle relaxers. 

 

I hope you're able to sleep and that the heat wrap brings you relief and healing. 

 

 

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Tom, I've had the same thing recently ~ just came out of nowhere, but as Shep suggested, I have been doing gentle yoga and stretching as well as being much more aware of posture. I know I have to fix this myself as I can't rely on doctors or drugs. My mother was told 20 years ago that she needed a back operation - thankfully, she didn't listen but did yoga instead and she's been fine ever since.

 

I've found in the past that heat packs and massage, also help. I hope you feel better very soon.

(( hugs))

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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  • Moderator

I've been very lax about my yoga for a while now, so I guess I had better get back to doing it.  The heat wrap all night really helped, but will have to take it easy on it  today.  There is going to be some unavoidable lifting and climbing ladders but I will keep it to a minimum and rest often.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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nine months completely off Tom!  Wow!!  so happy I know you and have watched your journey.  wishing you happiness and continued success!

zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks)
Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg,  1/15 10 mg, 3/15  9 mg,  5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg.  4/16  5 mg, 6/16   4.5 mg,  9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17  3.2 mg,  4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17  1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg,  1/18 0.79 mg

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  • Moderator

You beat me to it Mustangwoman.  I for got to post it on the 15th, which was the day.  Yes, nine months and things keep getting betterer and betterer.  I'm seeing new improvements each week.  I've been taking things very easy the past several days because of my back and have been seeing a good improvement there also.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Brass! Congrats on 9 months! Your attitude is awesome and inspiring.

 

Hope your back is better soon. Heat wrap and yoga sound like great ideas!

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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Congrats Tom for making another further milestone and doing well!

 

You got a company for the back pain. I started very tiny nerve pain on my right side from lifting a heavy furniture couple weeks ago then my chiropractor pushed my spine totally off trying to fix the original issue. Barely can walk for a week now still quite bad. 

 

Another Lessen learned, will stop seeing doctors of any type.

 

Gental walk and some stretching postures helped. No sitting, no soft bed.

 

Hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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I am glad you are doing so well!  I didn't mean to beat you to the punch.  April 15th stands out in my mind and where our timelines were similar. I have watched your story closely.  I even told myself on the 16th that I needed to log in and see how you're doing because it had been nine month.  I still have a ways to go yet but get much encouragement from you and others here.  Well done!

zoloft 2004-08 tapered too fast(2 weeks)
Luvox 5/08 100 mg 07/10 40mg via small reductions, 08/10 39mg, 09/10 38mg, 10/10 37mg, 11/10 36mg,2/11 35mg, 5/11 34mg, 8/11 33mg, 11/11 32mg, 01/12 31mg, 03/12 30mg, 4/12 29mg, 5/12 28 mg, 8/12 27 mg, 11/12 26 mg, 1/13 25 mg, 3/13 24 mg, 4/13 23 mg,6/13 22 mg, 7/13 21 mg, 8/13 20mg, 10/13 19 mg, 11/13 18 mg, 12/13 17 mg, 1/14 16 mg, 3/14 13 mg, 9/14 10.9 mg,  1/15 10 mg, 3/15  9 mg,  5/15 8 mg. 11/15 7.12 mg.  4/16  5 mg, 6/16   4.5 mg,  9/16 4.2 mg, 1/17 3.48 mg, 2/17  3.2 mg,  4/17 2.2 mg, 5/17 2.0 mg, 6/17  1.74 mg, 7/17 1.58 mg, 9/17 1.27 mg, 11/17 1.0 mg,  1/18 0.79 mg

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  • Moderator

No problems Mustangwoman, it's nice that someone is keeping track.  I'm actually starting to lose track of it, which is a good thing and now that I've been retired for almost two years I'm finding it very easy to not know what day of the week it is because everyday feels like Saturday.  The tiny doses at the end are deceptive i how long thy take to work your  way through.  That last milligram down to the final takes a frustrating long time.  Don't rush, you're too close now.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator

For the most part things are going really well. The weather here is all over the place and the cold snaps are really playing up with my right shoulder, when it flairs up it gets really hard to do anything, because any exertion sets it off.  It's the time of year here to start getting the yard ready for spring, which means trimming trees, turning garden beds and all those things that you need strong shoulders for.  Oh Well, little bits at a time and not pushing it.  At least the back has cleared up, so it's not hurting all the time, but I still have to be careful with it.

 

I've been having waves of depression every once in a while.  They start mild, build, break and pass over the course of several hours, and then don't come back for a few days.  I'm trying not to psych my self out about the 10 month wave, but it will be ten months in a couple of weeks and it's stuck in the back of my mind.  I thought I got that all over with back in December with the several weeks of bad anxiety, we shall see.

 

Other than that things are going pretty well. I have a ton of projects to keep me occupied.  I have to recondition the built in book shelves in the living room, there are several pieces of furniture to build, some new camera equipment I'm designing and making and the ongoing project of new halloween props, not to mentions several writing projects you will be seeing here sometime soon.  We just finished settling the last big part of my fathers estate that we have been working of for many years now.  That takes a big load off of Monica and myself, and the rest of the family. Now we have to get down to some serious trip planning for our next adventure.

 

Well, I need to get some lunch and then head out to the back yard for a while.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Brassmonkey said: "I've been having waves of depression every once in a while.  They start mild, build, break and pass over the course of several hours, and then don't come back for a few days.  I'm trying not to psych my self out about the 10 month wave, but it will be ten months in a couple of weeks and it's stuck in the back of my mind.  I thought I got that all over with back in December with the several weeks of bad anxiety, we shall see."

 

Thanks for continuing to share your journey.  I didn't know you had bad anxiety in December.  I'm sure you don't want to worry anyone, but it's useful for me to see posts like this.  I am also nervous about the timing, and when I see that others are, too, I feel less alone.  I hope that you have an easy time of it, Tom.  I have a feeling that you will.  --Rosetta

 

PS.  Pretty crazy weather here, though.  I'm South of you.  We had a Santa Ana on Sunday and Summer days ever since.  At least there's no problem with getting the sunlight we need.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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  • Moderator

Hi Rosetta-- I just looked back at my journal and it appears that there was so much going on that I didn't mention the anxiety.  It's just one of those symptoms that has to be put up with so that's what I did and didn't think about it.  For about two weeks or so it was an all day every day thing.  It usually calmed down while I was asleep, but would start up again first thing in the  morning.  I would get some respite in the evenings but couldn't count on that happening.  It would range from mild chest tightness and arm stiffness to just below panic attack level.  The wave started one afternoon kept up for a few weeks and then subsided over a couple of days.  I really thought that it was my ten month wave coming early.  They can show up anywhere between eight and twelve months, with ten months being the most common.

 

Yesterdays depression could just be a blip too, I've been doing fine since it lifted yesterday afternoon.

 

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Sorry you had to experience that.  I'm glad it was "short," but I assume it didn't feel that way.  My best, R

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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HI Brassmonkey - I was wondering if you knew much about having to wait until the right time to taper? I've been off pristiq for 4 years and seem to be unable to taper any amount of the meds I was prescribed after withdrawel. Thanks.  

Starting taking Anafranil when I was in 8th grade for OCD. I only took it for about one year. I had no withdrawel coming off as a freshman in high school. 

Then started various SSRI's my first two years of college. I felt side effects from all different meds but they were still prescribed by docs.

2010-Finally landed on lexapro for about one year and I noticed cognitive issues while on it.

Taper quickly off and felt very depressed for around four months. Was put on 50 mg Pristiq and symptoms got better but still had depression to a certain degree. Started getting severe issues from Pristiq so I tapered off over a four month period and have been dealing with withdrawal and healing from withdrawal since.

I was on Pristiq for about 2.5 years and then tapered off in the fall of 13'.

I am currently taking:

 

-255mg of gabapentin (holding for now)

-10 mg viibryd (holding for now)

-5 mg buspar (2.5 in the morn and 2.5 at night) (I weighed out half a tablet and it weighed about .053 on my scale so I started measuring it out to .050 with a nail file morning and night. That was my first cut. Beginning of December was when it was made). 

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23 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

For the most part things are going really well. The weather here is all over the place and the cold snaps are really playing up with my right shoulder, when it flairs up it gets really hard to do anything, because any exertion sets it off.  It's the time of year here to start getting the yard ready for spring, which means trimming trees, turning garden beds and all those things that you need strong shoulders for.  Oh Well, little bits at a time and not pushing it.  At least the back has cleared up, so it's not hurting all the time, but I still have to be careful with it.

 

I've been having waves of depression every once in a while.  They start mild, build, break and pass over the course of several hours, and then don't come back for a few days.  I'm trying not to psych my self out about the 10 month wave, but it will be ten months in a couple of weeks and it's stuck in the back of my mind.  I thought I got that all over with back in December with the several weeks of bad anxiety, we shall see.

 

Other than that things are going pretty well. I have a ton of projects to keep me occupied.  I have to recondition the built in book shelves in the living room, there are several pieces of furniture to build, some new camera equipment I'm designing and making and the ongoing project of new halloween props, not to mentions several writing projects you will be seeing here sometime soon.  We just finished settling the last big part of my fathers estate that we have been working of for many years now.  That takes a big load off of Monica and myself, and the rest of the family. Now we have to get down to some serious trip planning for our next adventure.

 

Well, I need to get some lunch and then head out to the back yard for a while.

So your depression comes in waves and then goes away? If mine is constant it’s probably not withdrawal is it? 

 

2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 

2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 

2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 

2017  Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day  aug-nov15 ativan

October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk 

Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it

Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it

Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again

Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone

December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor  Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily

 

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  • Moderator

Hi Rosetta-- after being in WD for six years, two weeks doesn't even count.  When you're in the middle of it, it can seem to drag towards the end, but knowing that it will only last a little while makes it quite bearable.  Also having been through it many times, you know that there will be an end and things will feel better again.  Working around the anxiety can take a bit of concentrated ignoring at times, but the only way out it through so you can't let it get in your way too much.

 

Downbutnotout-- I am finding that there is a big difference in how the body reacts once the drug has finally been removed.  Even when on the tiny doses at the end of my taper there was always an underlying presence of the drug that kept the symptoms active even when they were not acute.  So depression on some level was almost always present, along with many other symptoms.  Once the drug wan finally removed my body no longer had to deal with it's direct influence and that is when the window and wave pattern became more pronounced.  While still on the drug one has to refer to their WDnormal baseline for what is "normal" to be feeling.  If the depression can be manipulated with coping techniques and self talk then it is not WD depression.  If nothing you do can change the feelings then it's WD.

 

DC112 -- I'll have to go over and read some of your thread to find out more about what is going on before I can answer.  I'll take a look later today.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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On 12/29/2017 at 12:51 PM, brassmonkey said:

Another member was asking me about "fighting against anhedonia and the loss of emotions".  This is a big problem that most of us going through ADWD are faced with.  I thought I would reshare my answer here for others to read:

 

You can't fight against it.  This is a drug induced sensation that we have no control over.  Trying to fight it or over come it just burns a lot of energy and causes a huge amount of frustration and anxiety because it doesn't help anything.  The emotions, feelings of joy, happiness, love and excitement as well as creativity, ambition and a whole lot more are being chemically suppressed and for the time being are just not accessible. Acceptance of the situation is the best path to follow.  As you reduce your dose further and your body has a chance to heal your emotions and all will slowly start to come back, but it does take a lot of time.  As I mentioned in the post you quoted, at the time I was off all drugs for five months I was still having some trouble with lack of feelings.  I am now rapidly approaching 10 months off and still am having the occasional bout with it. But things are so much better than they were when I was still tapering.

 

One thing I did learn was to look for and cherish all the little moments of joy.  They actually are popping up all the time, but are very fleeting and easily overlooked.  When you look at a flower, instead of thinking "darn, I can't enjoy this flower", watch for the momentary little flash of joy that that flower brings when you first see it, and acknowledge it when it happens.  Stop and try to see the beauty in things, even if you don't feel it. "Wow, the sun on those clouds is really pretty, one day soon I will feel it again".  Stop and recognize the joy/wonder in the scene, but let your body react in it's own manner.  This exercise will help reestablish the neural pathways and little by little dig out and strengthen the feelings.

 

Like the rest of ADWD it is a tortuously long slow process that can be very frustrating, but in the end is so worth all the effort. 

Hi Brass Monkey.  I hope I can follow your lead one day as I have been on Zoloft for almost 19 years.  Do you think I can actually do it?

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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Hi Brassmonkey'

Just running the random moderator generator and your name came up.

Sooo just wanted to invite you to make a submission or consider making a submission to the Scottish govt. These people would be very enlightened to hear of your taper.

IT would be a very powerful testimony imo.

Anyway no pressure.

regards

nz11

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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On 6/28/2016 at 8:47 PM, brassmonkey said:

Just wanted to keep a copy of this here:

 

I see WDnormal as the overall baseline of where you are in general. The place you are when you're not feeling good, but you're not feeling bad. Sorta a rolling average of the past couple of months between the windows and waves.  Watching the level of WDnormal is a good indicator that things are improving.  Over time you should be seeing a raising of the standard for WDnormal.  So how you're feeling now is better than say six months ago. It changes very slowly but is a really good indicator.

 

 Many people have the idea that stability is feeling good again, when in fact it's feeling the same level of blah day after day with no big swings to the better or bad. When a person does a drop in dose there will be a corresponding increase in WD symptoms over the next few days.  These symptoms will resolve themselves over the following several weeks and return the person to a slightly raised baseline of discomfort. The time frame and severity are dependent on a huge number of factors and end up being unique to each individual.  But the pattern remains.  This is why paying attention to your WDnormal is very important.  It is also referred to as listening to your body.  After a drop in dose and the symptoms have resolved to WDnormal the person then should wait a couple of more weeks to let things really settle out (there are a lot of little unfelt changer still going on) before considering doing their next drop.

 

During that waiting time people may think that they're not doing anything and want to get on with it.  When in fact doing nothing is very proactive.  It's those little unfelt things that need to be finished up before the next step can be taken.  It's letting the glue harden, the paint dry, the cement cure.  The things that need to be complete before the path is safe to walk on again.  If these details are ignored then they start to pile up and compound each other, then somewhere down the line the foundation slips out from under us and the whole thing collapses.

I like this! It takes the pressure off of trying to set expectations so high that they are bound to turn to disappointment. This weekend was a gift of near WDnormal for me. I'm so thankful for it knowing that it may not stay continuously so for awhile. Thank you!

Dalalea's Introduction

Off All SSRI Medications: Effexor 2010 one month
Sertraline 50 mg. but only took 25 mg. daily because of dizziness. 2010 to July 2017

Tapered over 2 months beginning the 1st of June 2017 -- Off Sertraline by July 30, 2017

Current Medication: Losartan (blood pressure), Albuterol (for asthma- only as needed)
Current Symptoms: tinnitus, hearing loss in one ear, allergies

My Plan: Prayer, Scripture, Walk, Yoga, Encourage Others, Healthy Eating
Generic SSRI Withdrawal Symptom and Plan Checklists and Graph.xlsx

Current Supplements: Magnesium Threonate, Fish Oil, probiotic, B-12, C, D-3

Current Essential Oils: Frankincense, Bergamot, Orange, Lemon, Lavender, Peppermint, Clove
Current Essential Oil Blends: Brain Power, Clarity, Stress Away

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  • Moderator

Been fighting with a bit of depression and some anger flair ups the past few days.  I've been very tired and withdrawn and ache all over.  The weather has been changing almost daily and when it turns cold and damp things really start to ramp up.  I've been using Magnesium Oil on my shoulder for a week now and it really seems to have taken the edge off.  I've tried a bit on my hand, but that's a real hard case, it helps for a few minutes and then things flair back up again. I'm finding it hard to get excited about much of anything.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator Emeritus
3 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Been fighting with a bit of depression and some anger flair ups the past few days.  I've been very tired and withdrawn and ache all over.  The weather has been changing almost daily and when it turns cold and damp things really start to ramp up. 

 

Sorry to hear this, Tom.  I think that as the calendar rolls into February it can be a rough time.  Winter has taken its toll and we still have a while until spring.  Hopefully, this will be short-lived and improve as things start to warm up.

 

4 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

I've been using Magnesium Oil on my shoulder for a week now and it really seems to have taken the edge off.  I've tried a bit on my hand, but that's a real hard case, it helps for a few minutes and then things flair back up again.

 

Have you ever tried Blue Emu oil?  Just wondering.  I find it helps loosen my neck up a lot.

 

5 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

I'm finding it hard to get excited about much of anything.

 

Don't beat yourself up for that.  It's entirely possible there's nothing really going on for you to get excited about.  The litmus test for you -- if it were mid-October and the Haunt were in full gear would you be having the same problem?  Hard to say I know, but I'm doubting it.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Wow Brassmonkey!  You give me hope-I have been on Zoloft for 19 years...

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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Sending you hugs Tom!

10 month after a super slow taper, this should be the last wave before the forever window!

 

lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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5 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Been fighting with a bit of depression and some anger flair ups the past few days.  I've been very tired and withdrawn and ache all over.  The weather has been changing almost daily and when it turns cold and damp things really start to ramp up.  I've been using Magnesium Oil on my shoulder for a week now and it really seems to have taken the edge off.  I've tried a bit on my hand, but that's a real hard case, it helps for a few minutes and then things flair back up again. I'm finding it hard to get excited about much of anything.

I am sorry you've been dealing with these symptoms....it is understandable that you would be feeling some depression and/or anger when you are in pain.  And the weather can't be helping. I hope it lifts soon, Brass, and you can get back to the things that bring you joy.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Totally understandable, Tom. Winter is definitely difficult, physically and mentally.

 

I am counting the days to spring, which is only a few weeks away. The days are slowly getting longer, so we're getting closer. 

 

Hang in there. As you say to many of us when we're struggling: 

 

((((((HUGS}}}}}}

 

I hope you feel better soon. 

 

 

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You know it'll pass. I bet its a blip because of the timeframe, as you say, 10 months. I seem to recall a real low point in april last year and I think that would be 10 months actually! I never really believed in waves/windows for the post slow 10% taper crowd but I think we do have them, just not as severe as the waves for a rapid taperer or even a crash or adverse reaction scenario. I think you'll be good again soon!

2 Timothy 1-7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Effexor 75mg to 262.5mg 2005-2010 for post partum depression

Started having poop out mid 2010, also switched generic brands, then crashed in Dec 2010 (anxiety/ "terror", intense DR, anhedonia, suicidal ideation, chills, insomnia, horrible intrusive thoughts, disorientation, ect)
Rapid "tapered" from 262.5mg Effexor in 3 months

Tried Celexa,Cipralex, then Paxil to deal with wd(this switching made things worse and added akathesia)

Found online support and started tapering Paxil 7 months after quitting Effexor (at this point was having small windows).

Paxil taper: dropped 10% every 4-8 weeks

Year 1 October 2011 to Nov 2012 20mg to 10mg

Year 2 March 2013 to Feb 2014 10mg to 4mg

Year 3 April 2014 to May 2015 4mg to 1.1mg

Year 4 June 2015 1.1mg , dropping by 10% until .5mg, after then dropped by 0.1mg every 5 weeks until 0.1mg.

Finished! Official last dose of 0.1mg on June 15/16

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