What if you're not religious?

January 31, 2013

Hello -

I'm a newbie to this site, but not to psych meds. After a decade and three years of hell I've decided to try and get off drugs once and for all. As everyone here knows - and I think someone called it neuro-emotion - when you're in the throes of it you don't see so clearly. You break down and question everything. And at those times I have found that people who can turn to faith have an incredible amount of strength.

I've never been religious, and I'm lukewarm on organized religion, but I firmly believe that people need to have a belief system of some kind that incorporates ideas of purpose, meaning, and a love for life. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out a set of ideas that I can honestly believe and turn to when I'm struggling.

I have wonderful kids and family and it keeps me going, but I thought I would throw the question out there - what do others think about to keep them going through tough times? What ideas give people comfort and help them to see that their depressed thoughts are just thoughts and not truths?

January 31, 2013

IMO, one needn't be a believer to be religious. Additionally one doesn't need a religion to be a believer.

I am thinking of joining a Christian church, but one where belief in the Bible isn't that important. There are a lot of churches like this around me, but I live in a liberal city.

Helping others is a great way to feel valuable.

February 1, 2013

I found Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl to be helpful.

Sparrow

February 1, 2013

I'm not religious either, in fact there is a very strong streak of atheism in my family background, but I was raised with a very strong moral compass and to always do the right thing by other people and myself and a strong work ethic, British stiff upper lip and stoicism. I think it's served me pretty well, like you cmusic the things that keep me going in the tough withdrawals are my family, husband, my sons, my parents, my family is very close and I think that counts for a lot, and I have one particular close friend. I've often pondered whether life would be a lot easier if I had religion to lean on as well.

February 5, 2013

I'm not religious either, but spirituality is an important part of my life, though sometimes more then at other times.

It's not a rational thing, it's based on felt experience. It's based on the moments where I've felt there is a bigger purpose and truth to life then my own small worries. It's based on moments where I've had transcendent experiences, in which I could feel that I was part of something that can not be named, an impenetrable mystery.

Allowing myself to get in touch with this level of consciousness is an invaluable part of life, although the need for this comes in waves it seems. For me, one of the ways to do this is to meditate. Reading can be a great way to accomplish this as well. Joseph Campbell speaks in ways that resonate deeply with me. I especially like the interview series with Bill Moyers. Jeff Foster also reminds me of deeper truths, although in a different way.

So yes... and it's also about embracing our experiences I think. Embracing everything there is, the resistance, anger and despair. Surrendering to life.

However talking about surrendance and embracing everything there is, I realize that I am speaking from a position of relative luxury. I dont know how I would cope if I would go through the absolute horrors that some members of this forum are going through and have gone through. I admire them deeply for not giving up.

May 12, 2013

I'm not religious, but I can't help thinking there must be some underlying point to all this misery ... maybe that there are no short cuts or quick fixes to depression and anxiety? Or no quick fixes for anything - that there isn't a pill for every ill? I was prescribed antidepressants aged 18 having suffered from bouts of depression and anxiety over many years. Honestly, if I get through the withdrawal and am left with the same levels of anxiety and depression I had when I started - or even if they're a bit worse - I can't imagine I will find them anything other than laughably tame by comparison, and more importantly, I'm convinced I will be able to manage them ...

May 15, 2013

I'm not religious, though have an interest in Buddhism.

When I'm struggling with WD I focus on the people who I know care about me and on my dreams. There have been obstacles in my way before and people have said my dreams are unachievable, but I've achieved them nonetheless.

I have been making a scrapbook of things that are positive, make me laugh and/or inspire me. Like jokes, beautiful pictures of nature, quotes etc and I flick through that when I'm really struggling. Also I've put together a photo album of all my friends and other people who care about me and want me to succeed. Looking through that helps too.

May 21, 2013

I'm not religious in the traditional sense, but I consider myself full of faith and a spiritual person. I believe in the human spirit, in goodness and love. I try to appreciate nature and both human and natural creations, and I do believe in a god-like being, mostly because it is more comforting to imagine a comfort at the end of pain.

In my mind, community is the strongest form of support, knowing that you are not alone and protected. What can hurt you if you know you have others who will help and comfort you when you need it?

May 29, 2013

Hey Finn...

I think I fall into the space between religious and spiritual which I like.

I am Catholic and had a hard time with Nuns in Catholic Schools. For the last 16 years I have been in Al-Anon which is an off-shoot of AA for the families of Alcoholics.

As a result of this fellowship I have a huge sense of Higher Power (I call God) more than I ha previously. I find comfort in praying, journaling to this Higher Power and trying to make a conscious contact with this Power a number of times during the day.

I hope I don't sound too hokey, but it helps me a great deal.

I enjoy Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyers, Marianne Williamson and Daily Readers like Melody Beattie. She is good.

I have purchased Tony Robbin's CD's and have sought out non-religious self-help literature and Meditations.

I have anxiety every day of my life.......and it would probably be alot worse if I didn't lean on these tools.

I have a fear which has been with me the last few years that I can't seem to break. It is a financial fear of not getting past the spot I am in. It's alot better, but not there yet.

Is there some other suggestion for getting rid of fear besides faith????? If there is tell me. I'll try anything :blink:

July 20, 2013

Oh, I had forgotten this topic was here when I started my own about coming to religion later in life. Alexejice, did you try out any Christian churches? I am still thinking of doing so but I don't know how to handle all of the belief stuff that I think religions have. I am looking for more structure, like going to a place at certain times. I suppose I could do that with any spiritual endeavor. Nikki talked about Al-Anon, the AA meetings I attended years ago gave me that sort of structure but they do not feel like a place I want to go to at this time.

It's like I feel it is time to grow up and have responsibilities, not just wander aimlessly around......

July 27, 2013

I'm not religious either, but definitely spiritual. I find my inspiration in reality: in the immensity of the cosmos (love that stuff!) and the mysteries of theoretical physics, and in the incredible complex beauty of the natural world around me, and, to a great extent, in the caring and courage and compassion and great heart I see in human beings, out in the world, and here in this forum.

My work here is an expression of my spirituality and brings meaning to my own suffering and everything I've lost.

I don't miss religion. I feel like religion is kind of missing the point most of the time. It all boils down to the golden rule, really.

That all sounds really profound. I'm also a dork and not as nice a person as I wish I was. I gossip about coworkers (trying not to but it's so hard when everyone else is doing it!) and I waste a lot of time watching streaming television and reading worthless stuff on the Internet. (It's so easy to sound wonderful when you can edit yourself on an Internet forum! wish I was really that person...)

July 27, 2013

Recently I unearthed a memory of a really bizarre incident that immediately preceded my depression and meds 8 years ago. Something I am frightened about, religion and 'spiritual' issues I had forgotten. Just too tired to think and I think, if I can wrap my head around it, I'll either post in my intro or in the thread that triggered the memory.

What was I thinking? I have got to stop scaring myself with stuff I read on the internet........ I am not ready to tackle the religious and spiritual aspects of my life, at least right now when I have such a shaky sense of self.

(Wow, Rhi.... we are close to the same age) and you sure don't sound like a dork... excellent editing if you really think you are!

July 28, 2013

Hello All,

I'd like to weigh in on this thread if you don't mind as I too find the subject matter very interesting. I was raised a 'Roman Catholic' and up until my early teens believed that there was indeed a 'God', heaven and hell. In my early 20's I became a Wiccan and stayed with it for 5 years or so. At 30 I decided to be a Buddhist and spent a considerable amount of time chasing a dream to be at one with all, including a never ending quest to reach a state of 'zen'. Sadly, it didn't happen. For a while after this I guess I was probably an atheist. Finally I have settled on being a 'Pantheist', which is a little known but evolving 'movement', not so much a 'religion'.

If you are curious, here's what Wiki says about Pantheism

Pantheism is the belief the universe (or nature) is identical with divinity. So we basically believe that 'Nature' is our 'god'.

At times I have to laugh at myself, what's that saying about 'try before you buy'.

EagleWolf x

August 28, 2013

I believe in God but I don't believe in religion

December 26, 2013

Religion is essentially a set of rules. Christianity on the other hand is a faith- a faith that Jesus is Lord and Savior. I didn't understand the difference between the two until a few years ago. Now that I'm a Christian, I wouldn't touch religion with a ten foot poll, and I wouldn't trade my faith for my life. If you're seeking meaning in life, how about asking God to reveal Himself to you if He is real. I firmly believe He would answer your request, and give you an unshakable faith. Blessings, Ellen

December 31, 2013

I was brought up in a fundamentalist Christian family, but my thoughts about religion, spirituality, theology, and the overall questions of why and how we came to be here have changed so thoroughly that I do not find the sorts of ideas called "religious" to be at all comforting. But then, my PTSD spends much of its time orbiting the hellfire and brimstone sermons I used to hear, so avoiding Abrahamic/monotheistic religion is a survival tactic as well as the philosophical direction that suits me best.

It is difficult to describe what it is about this life--that looks to me inexplicable and without the sort of purpose that would be imposed from outside or above--that keeps me in it when the pain is at its worst, but there certainly is "something". Possibly it is the fact that this is my only life as far as I can tell, and that the world, from my room to the farthest reaches of the universe, is crammed end to end with astounding beauty, even while it can also seem crammed end to end with astounding pain. That helps me not to throw in the towel even when I can barely move or breathe or think or sleep or eat or signal my distress.

I do practice something like Zen Buddhism, but since there are no gods to worship and, in my view, little to no dogma about metaphysical systems in Zen, it doesn't provide so much of a structure of ideas as it does a method of acceptance of whatever life throws at me, and a way to navigate through those thoughts and emotions that used to send me spinning off into nowhere for weeks at a time. Now, most of the time, I see that my thoughts and emotions are human and impermanent and in need of compassion more than anything else, as is the rest of me and every other person--human and otherwise--accompanying me here and now.

I recall once telling someone that the color blue has been all I have felt I had to hold onto at times. It went something like this: if I can remember how wonderful color is, I can at least keep in mind that it is only a fragment of what is out there that provides me with a feeling that this is my home: here, this body, this Earth, these other living things and even these rocks and bricks and worn wooden floor and tiny miraculous dust motes are all my family. Even when the only thing accessible in all of that is a particular shade of blue, it keeps me connected, however tenuously, with all that is.

So, maybe that makes some sense? To some it seems paradoxical, but my awe of life derives from life's utter improbability; metaphysical systems tend to ruin that for me by trying to explain everything. If I could bottle and sell the process of coming to prefer as few pre-determined explanations as possible, I would do so! I am told that belief in no (imposed) purpose and no (imposed) meaning is not so comforting all on its own, but for me it is as necessary as air for allowing breath.

December 31, 2013

Hellfire and brimstone sermons are not of God. Sermons about the love and grace of Jesus Christ are. Sounds like you were poisoned with religion, which is not Christian, and missed out on an opportunity for faith. The opportunity is still here if you want it. How about reading Pure Grace by Clark Whitten? Available from Amazon. Was written for people in your position.

December 31, 2013

Thanks, Ellen. At the moment I don't feel that my life is missing anything related to faith or grace, as I have come to understand both even apart from what I was taught as a child. Having a few moments of clarity in which to look out upon this universe is enough for me. Although I am individuated from the rest of it to an extent, it is only an extent: I don't feel the need to reconcile with it because am already inseperable from it and eventually this indivuation will dissolve back into the flux. My loneliness as an individual disappears when I consider the extent and depth of my relations with all the other empty-space-permeated entities surrounding me; the alienation I do feel is, as far as I can tell, a complex of reactions to humanly-constructed systems of exclusion and the people who choose to abide by them.I am finding that the key to accepting life on its own terms is compassion, especially for myself, and especially in a culture that does not value compassion very much and, tragically, confuses self-compassion with selfishness almost all of the time--at least in my experience so far. I can recommend some titles if you are interested in what I am talking about--much of it is related to Buddhist thought and practice, as well as certain threads of Judaism. Everybody (you know, everybody!) reads Shunryu Suzuki's "Not Always So," and it is a good one, but there are others as well.

January 1, 2014

"I am finding that the key to accepting life on its own terms is compassion"

I think you may have hit on something there, Erik. Compassion is sacrificial love, and God is love, embodied in Jesus Christ. God wants more for us than the ability to accept life; He wants us to have abundant life- life overflowing from Him into us then into others. He wants more for us than we ever could imagine; therefore, we don't even fully know what we're missing until we become a child of God by believing Jesus was raised from the dead and confessing with our tongue that Jesus is Lord.

January 1, 2014

This site is entirely non-denominational. Not being religious is perfectly okay. People can search for their answers elsewhere. Not everyone is required to believe anything in particular about Jesus or any other religious figure. No proselytizing, please.

January 1, 2014

Thanks, Ellen, but no thanks. I am acutely aware of the nuances of Christian theology and cosmology, and they do not work for me. I understand how difficult it might be for you to accept that your way does not work for everyone, because I understand all too well that a large part of Christianity claims to be universal, the only possible answer.

But it is not.

And this will be my last direct response to you, since you seem uninterested in what I actually have to say.

January 1, 2014

You're completely free to disagree. We all have free will and you are completely free to exercise it.

So I understand that in expressing my views the same rules apply to all religions/faiths/and non-religions, i.e. that we're all free to express our views and believe they are true. I didn't say anything about Christianity being the only possible answer. You're right: that would be proselytizing.

January 1, 2014

What will get you warned or bannedhttp://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1598-what-will-get-you-warned-or-banned/

At the discretion of the administrator or moderators, you may be restricted to one topic for discussion of your faith.

Ellen, this topic asks "what if you're not religious?" It is not an appropriate topic for exhortations towards any mode of religious belief.

You may open one topic in Finding Meaning to discuss and answer questions about charismatic Christianity. You may not proselytize for Christian belief in any other topic.

Please respect the beliefs or non-beliefs of others. No non-Christian needs to be reminded that Christianity is an option. Everyone on the planet is well aware of its advantages and disadvantages.

January 1, 2014

I apologize. Do you mind my commenting under other Christians' posts? Your call.

January 1, 2014

You can talk about your experiences but do not exhort anyone to follow your example.

January 1, 2014

This site is entirely non-denominational. Not being religious is perfectly okay. People can search for their answers elsewhere. Not everyone is required to believe anything in particular about Jesus or any other religious figure. No proselytizing, please.

thank you.

What if you're not religious?

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