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A poem about meds/withdrawal


dekiru

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Meds: to help with feeling ill

Simply take a pill

Will take the depression/panic away

And make you feel ok some of the day

 

But user beware:

 

Body not want pill

So will make you more ill

So unwell

Will be like a living hell

Panic attacks day and night,

Will be quite a fright.

 

With time

Body will be fine

Body will need pill

Or you will be ill

(again)

 

Emotions numbed

Body has succumbed

Can live (of a fashion),

But without any passion

 

I don’t want to just survive

I want to thrive

I don’t want to supress any more

Taking meds is becoming a chore

 

There’s someone I can talk to at last,

I can now finally talk about the past

After waiting so long

An amazing person came along

We have good rapport

And I gain lots of support

My dream came true

I’m stopping meds now – wouldn’t you?

 

Three months in

My head is all a spin,

I’ve lost loads of weight

Because I won’t fill my plate

I can’t eat any carbohydrate

Or else my stomach painful and inflate

Body still wants pill

So it still makes me very ill

(again)

 

Meds don’t take pain away

Simply store it up for another day.

Emotions huge

Like a deluge

So much pain

Want to sleep again and again

Panicky day and night

Again giving me a fright

 

All voices seem so loud

Is like I’m in the middle of a crowd.

All smells seem so strong

I can’t cope for long

Or my head hurts so bad

Wish the strength could decrease a tad.

 

A year off meds has passed

How long can withdrawal last?

 

Joints burning

Stomach churning

Feel sick

I often cuddle Chick(ee)*

Feel faint

I need patience of a saint

 

Day after day I lay in bed

Sometimes I wish I was dead

Pain in chest

Isn’t the best

 

With time

I will reach my prime

Will become healthy

Maybe wealthy

Will be human being

 

Body is clever,

So will listen to it forever

Heart is guide,

Best not denied.

 

Life has good and bad

Can feel happy or sad

If can experience things in the Now

Is better somehow…

 

Emma Jenner

* Chickee is a cuddly toy chick I have.

01/2006 Put on Prozac for anxiety and panic attacks 08/2008 Came off Zoloft after tapering don't remember taper, lost weight, felt like had cold constantly, very panicky, pain everywhere (misdiagnosed fibromyalgia), head funny.05/2010 put back on Zoloft03/2012 came completely off Zoloft followed Dr standard taper- no appetite, lost weight (0.5 stone), flu-like feelings constantly, pain everywhere, head funny, nausea, very panicky, very strong emotions etc Lost 1 stone.04/2013 improving. actually put on some weight and hungry most of the time. Still burning pain joints, stomach upset, headache/feel faint and emotions very strong. Chest very painful too.01/2014 improving still. Gained weight!! Still hungry. Still headache/feel faint and strong emotions and chest/shoulder muscles painful. Periods irregular and very painful. Very tired. Joints burn only if eat refined sugars. Started eating fruits again.03/2014 2 years off. Now intolerances developed to nuts and soya. Permanently hungry, Emotions strong but started healing psychological reasons I was put on antidepressants with therapist. Shoulder pain bad, heady often, very tired.06/2014 flu-like symptoms returned, many intolerances, stomach painful, skin crawling feeling, muscles painful, very emotional. :-((

09/2016 over 4.5 years off, no real changes in symptoms, still much pain, headiness, heart weird, digestion bad, hormones unbalanced, nausea yet very hungry, tired, flu like symptoms etc etc.

<p>taking - vit C, probiotics and digestive enzymesI have Aspergers Syndrome.

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Fabulous...and heartbreaking

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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Bless your heart....you really summed it all up, very poetically ;)

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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