DJones: Celexa kindling reaction

[Djones1984]

Well that's nice now what to do? Can't quit it so I am stuck

[Djones1984]

Anyone else get vision problems like floaters and bright spot when blinking is this normal in withdrawal.

[Altostrata]

What excellent news, Marmite. Please update your Intro topic http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3861-marmite/ -- I'm sure many will want to hear how you're doing now.

[Djones1984]

Thanks for the reply, I have been a little better lately but when a good day or moment arrives I just go right back down to square one eventually with the anxiety and agitation and all the other issues with foods and sugar, cns. The akathisia is back now again or whatever it is feels like skin crawling and just tension and sensations in body and head just wondering if it will ever go away and it's scary. I also don't know if the klonopin is making it worse still I know it helps to some point but when it wears off I think I get worse symptoms for awhile but not so sure that that's the couse or if it is prolonging my recovery but I guess i am just stuck in this for awhile longer.

I have also had a lot going on like buying a house, Running my construction business, and will be completely remodelling the new house when we close in Jan. So I will be working my business and remodeling my own house God help me I can get through it. I am also alcoholic/addict so I deal with that o. A daily basis as well.

[Rhiannon]

Hi DJ. I've been away from the forum a lot and that is going to continue because I'm doing so well I've taken on more projects in my life away from the forum.  But I'm sorry my advice has been spotty here.

 

It sounds like you're improving gradually as far as the Celexa goes, although there's still a lot of stress in your life and that really slows down the healing process. I still think it would be a good idea to split your Klonopin dose in half and take the halves 12 hours apart. Benzos can be very tricky that way; when they start to wear off, they actually cause more anxiety and aggravation than you had to begin with. 

 

Because you have so much going on in your life, I don't think it's time to start tapering the Celexa yet. 

 

Here's my suggestion for now:  First, get the Klonopin straightened out. Split your daily dose in half and take the halves 12 hours apart (say, 8 am and 8 pm, or whatever works for you). Second, focus on eating well, getting lots of rest and hugs and laughter (and gentle exercise if your work isn't providing exercise). Third, look toward creating as low-stress of a life as you can, down the road, if that's possible--choose projects that are less stressful whenever you have the choice, try not to take on as much as you are accustomed to, et cetera.

 

Try that for a while. In a few months, if you can get your life settled down and less stressful, and you have your Klonopin dose regulated, you can begin to taper the Celexa very slowly, starting with a 5% cut to see how that goes.

[Djones1984]

Thanks rhi! good to hear from you it just seems like I was doing better and now I am back in a hole again. I forgot a few times and took my celexa like 3 hrs later than normal recentely could that be the reason for worse symtoms? I am also buying this new house becouse we have to be out of current place by march and the new place will need remodeling which is not really stress free and also really have no choice but to keep working. With the stess of work and everything else going on I just feel like I am never going to recover and that scares me to death. Also the holidays are always stressfull and well my diet could be better but I try to keep the sugar to a minimum and no caffine or alchohol, but I still eat alot of bread and things like that.

[Altostrata]

Taking the Celexa irregularly and the situational stress can be adding to symptoms.

[Djones1984]

Hi I have been away from forum for awhile as I have been really busy and kind of stressed with my life. I have been able to keep my business going somehow and am busier than ever, working on my own house which has turned into a disaster and am now getting married in august. Just so much going on and it gets overwhelming. I am still on 5mg of Celexa and .25 klonopin twice a day.

 

Still feeling pretty crappy but not as bad as last summer, my body is still hurts but I am able to do more physical labor. I have ackathesia and anxiety all the time still and some dp but its been like that on the meds full dose for years. I have lost around 60 pounds from when this all happened close to a year and a half ago. Still have food sensitivity mainly heavy suger, caffeine, and heavy carbs like pizza and pasta, I seem to be better with whole grain bread. do not really know what to do from here or if the 5mg of celexa is doing me more harm than good but kinda scared to start reducing. Still get some sucidial ideation and fears about the future of my life like i will never see the light and the end of the tunnel.

[Altostrata]

Hello, Dj. Good to hear you're somewhat stable. Is there any daily pattern to your symptoms? Are you taking any other drugs, such as a stomach acid blocker?

[Djones1984]

Yes somewhat but still kinda in hell alot of the time. Some days are better than others. When I work it tends to keep my mind off it and nights are always better. I typically feel worse in the afternoons possibly when the k wears off a little from my morning dose or just the fact that I am full from lunch and over stimulated by everything. I am on no other meds, no drugs or alcohol or caffeine for a year now not even an Advil.

[Djones1984]

Its good to hear from you alto i am just sick of dealing with this but I know I probably have a long road ahead still.

[Altostrata]

Sounds like you're having rebound from the Klonopin. It is an accursed drug.

[Djones1984]

Ya well I probably am but there ain't much I can do about it right now and honestly wish I wouldent of started to take it but it got me through a very rough road with the adverse reaction to the celexa. I am just stumped on where to go from here? I guess I gotta start cutting the celexa but by how much I don't know and do I cut the k at the same time or not? Do I split k dose into 3 separate doses? Do I increse k to .25 three times a day just dont know really where to go from here.

[Altostrata]

Do not change 2 drugs at once. How long have you been feeling kind of stable?

 

You might have to even out the daily Klonopin, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/29-members-only-benzo-tapering-discussion/
 

[Djones1984]

I have been kind of stable for proabably around 6 months just dont know if I should taper celexa first or the Klonopin? and by how much or should I just hold for awhile onger on everything and see if i get more stable which probably will not happen and maybe the celexa is making me feel worse I dont know.

[Altostrata]

Dj, what I would do is:

 

1) Visit this forum to discuss your benzo dosing http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/29-members-only-benzo-tapering-discussion/ You will want to optimize your benzo dosing before making further changes.

 

2) Read the tapering Celexa topic. Celexa comes in a liquid or you can make it yourself; you can taper very gradually with a liquid.

 

Since you started the benzo to deal with Celexa withdrawal, if I were you, I'd taper the Celexa first.

[Djones1984]

Been more funtional latley but still struggling I have been tapering the celexa since about 3 months ago from 5mg and have been cutting down .20 every 4 to 6 weeks and I am down to 4.60mg. Do you think I am going to fast?

[Petunia]

Its sounds like you are doing well Djones and at the moment you are tapering slower than our recommended rate, which is good.  If symptoms become unmanageable, you can hold for longer before making another cut.

[Djones1984]

Thanks Petu well it's been going on 2 years since this whole kindling reaction or whatever happened to me and a little over a year since I reinstated Celexa and started taking.5 of klonopin daily. My days are honestly mostly just filled with hell on earth still and my symptoms are sore muscles and nerve pain, some form of strong akathesia or strong anxiety wave after wave, tightness, weird tingling nerve ending sensations, irritable, some depersonilization, sensitive to light with eye floaters, weird sleep patterns. I am definitely better than I was when it felt like my brain was melting out of my head but I am still in a world of hurt with a lot of pain.

 

I push through still run a construction business on my own witch is tough being sensitized at times and stress.

 

Bought a house in the midst of all this and am in the process of getting it and rebuilding in my free time.

 

Got married a few months ago.

 

Go to 3 aa meetings a week for my addiction problem that goes along with all this.

 

I really don't know how I keep going at times. I want to give up becouse I don't know if there is any hope of just feeling fuckin normal for one whole day that is all I pray to God for.

 

I really should take better care of myself I smoke cigarettes and have been eating some sugar again and probably way to many carbs but dam it's the only thing that gets me through sometimes. Still no alcohol, caffeine, or any other drugs for that matter not even advil. I don't know just have a fear that it's been a year and a half already and still suffering.

[Djones1984]

And than now with the benzo I have been taking when I get done tapering Celexa I got that mess to deal with. Not only that but I still think I get rebound anxiety now from it that just compounds the withdrawal because I refuse to updos on it. It's probably just making it harder for my nervous system to recover from the ssri reaction.

[Djones1984]

Anybody got anything to cheer a lonely feeling man up.

[Wildflower0214]

that's about all I have

 

Hope u are well.

 

84' was a good year. Lol

[Djones1984]

I have fear I will never recover because I am still taking the Celexa that made me so Ill and trying to taper after an adverse reaction and withdrawal nightmare. Am I still recovering on the small dose of 4.60mg? I have fear and anxiety about anxiety itself and now been taking .5mg of klonopin everyday for last year and I don't know that is probably just prolonging my recovery? Just scared and feel so alone.

[Wildflower0214]

I feel ya. I had a CT switch, and then a rapid taper and am on Ativan still. I'm only 5 mos AD free. And I'm scared shitless.

[Petunia]

[Wildflower0214]

Petu,

 

That is cute. you have such a sweet spirit.

[Petunia]

I have fear I will never recover because I am still taking the Celexa that made me so Ill and trying to taper after an adverse reaction and withdrawal nightmare. Am I still recovering on the small dose of 4.60mg? I have fear and anxiety about anxiety itself and now been taking .5mg of klonopin everyday for last year and I don't know that is probably just prolonging my recovery? Just scared and feel so alone.

 

I moved this post from the symptoms/self care section, its really about your own personal situation.

 

I've also felt very scared and alone through much of the last 3 years, while trying to recover.  There seems to be something about an experience that very few people relate to, that increases the feelings of isolation.  Perhaps if you visited this site more and interacted on other intro threads, it would help you feel less alone.  This is a difficult time of the year for many people.... stress levels go way up which is not good when we are trying to reduce stress.

 

Yes, of course you are recovering, you have come down from 40mg.  Sometimes it can take a long time.... years, but even with a small amount of medication, the nervous system is still adjusting to the lower dose, which means less to taper from.  Do you feel like you have stabilized?  In your signature you have that you are trying to stabilize on 5mg.  I'm assuming that you have started tapering again?

 

I don't think that slow tapering and long holds prolongs recovery, if this is what's needed to safely come off the drugs, then this is the best way to do it.  The alternative is to go to fast, crash, and then have to reinstate or end up on even more drugs which is going in the opposite direction from recovery.

 

You will get there Djones, maybe not as fast as you would like, but eventually you will get off the drugs and recover..... if you don't give up.  That seems to be the determining factor between people who get off the drugs and recover and those who don't...... keep going, keep walking in the direction you want to go and you will get there eventually.

 

I really should take better care of myself I smoke cigarettes and have been eating some sugar again and probably way to many carbs but dam it's the only thing that gets me through sometimes.

 

This may be something to look at, if your diet has recently become worse, it may very well be the reason you are feeling worse.  About 2 weeks ago I started eating some high quality protein regularly through the day and cut down on carbs, I have been feeling better since this change.

[Djones1984]

Thanks for replys I don't think I ever really stabilized on the 5mg of Celexa I was on for over a year. Some things got better but my cns is still messed up pretty good. With all the ups and downs and different meds I was on its no wonder now I know more about these drugs. Just hope someday I will recover I see little Windows of hope where I feel almost completely normal but they are short lived and than I am thrown right back into the depths of hell. Also don't know if it's my cns recovering or the klonopin masking the withdrawal. Just keep holding on one day at a time I guess.

[Petunia]

Its good that you are getting small windows, that's a sign you are beginning to stabilize, read through the windows and waves topic again.  The klonopin isn't slowing your recovery, it may be softening some of the suffering though.

[Djones1984]

*Topic moved from symptoms section, titled 'Akathesia'

 

Does it ever go away? It has been to years since I nearly cold turkey Celexa and had a reaction to going back on multiple meds. Down to 4.75mg of Celexa and the akathesia/dp is just brutal still. If it wasn't for this I could manage but dam this sucks. How do you cope and will it ever go away? I also have been on klonopin twice a day and feel like it gets worse when it wears off but now I am stuck.

Edited February 22, 2015 by Petunia
added note

[Petunia]

I moved your post from another part of the site to your introduction thread here because it was related to your own situation specifically.  Please add information and updates about your changing circumstances, and ask questions here.

 

I'm sorry you are still suffering from these two awful symptoms, I've had both of them and know how difficult it can be.  For me, the akathisia has gone away, mostly and I only get DP occasionally now. From everything I've read, these do go away eventually. We have a couple of threads related to Akathisia:

 

Blog: My Akathisia Experience Akathisia vs restlessness, anxiety, agitation

 

Perhaps reading through these will help.

 

Are you still getting some small windows?  Or have things got even worse since your posts in December? It sounds like you may be getting rebound anxiety when your Klonopin wears off, I don't have much experience with benzos, but I've read that spreading your dose out through the day can often help with this.  Perhaps you could ask about this in the benzo section.

[Djones1984]

I still get small Windows where I have no symptoms I think it has gotten worse in the last week because I made another cut in the Celexa and have been under a lot of stress. Can the akathesia possibly get better while I am still on a low dose of Celexa and klonopin or will I have to be completely off both before I will ever see improvement? Probably is different for everyone.

[Djones1984]

I guess I am just wondering what the point of life is if this is it for me. 30 years old and I believe my life is over

[Djones1984]

Come to think of it my symptoms got worse about a week ago when I shocked myself a work with 1000 volts basically like I got tased. I am guessing that disrupted my cns because my heart skipped a beat.

[Petunia]

Its impossible to know when the akathisia will get better, when your nervous system settles down enough, it will improve.  I'm sorry to hear about your accident at work, its not surprising your symptoms got worse after that.  Perhaps you could stop tapering for a while and work on reducing the stress in your life, then when you are feeling better, continue tapering.

 

You have done well to come off high doses of several drugs with only a small amount to go.  You will get there, its just going to take a little more time.

[Djones1984]

It's been 2 years since all my adverse reactions and finally reinstating 5mg of Celexa which I am not really sure if it helped or not. Well 2 years later I am still on 3mg doing water Dulution method I still have akathesia bad and am still a mess not sure if the Celexa is hurting me or not. I am just feeling like I wish I was dead and probably will never get better. I am still on .25 of klonopin twice a day.