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Why am I here?


totenkopf

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Why am I here when no one seems to understand what I am experiencing when this is a forum for people living with Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome? I have people view my posts, though no one has made a post or sent me a message saying that they could relate to my symptomatology.

 

This may seem as though it is an ignorant post, though I sought my refuge on Surviving Antidepressants in the hope of at least one person relating to my symptomatology, and to have no one truly relate is a disappointment.

 

Maybe what I am experiencing is not Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, could my symptomatology be isolated and rare? I have no idea where to turn for help and I have begun experiencing anxiety nightmares over what is wrong with me.I realise that when you cannot relate to somebody, it is difficult to know what to say to them, and sometimes it is best not to say anything, though, is there really not one person on Surviving Antidepressants who truly understands what I am experiencing and what is wrong with me?

 

Everyone on Surviving Antidepressants seems to have at least one friend that they are able to talk to, who has experienced what they are experiencing, and I have nobody. If nobody truly understands what I am experiencing on a forum for people living with Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, how is that any reassurance to me? Not that I am finger-pointing.I cannot befriend anybody in the real world, for a good number of reasons, and if I cannot befriend anybody on Surviving Antidepressants either, a forum for people living with Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, it is a disappointment. 

 

All that I need is one friend who truly understands, because they are experiencing or have experienced the same symptomatology, and if it is the truth, who knows that I will be myself again some day, to encourage the fight in me.

 

Is there anybody living in proximity to Vienna, Austria? I would especially love to meet up with you and share honest thoughts and words. I am also able to travel to nearby cities such as Bratislava, Slovakia on day trips.As my most prevalent symptom is Anhedonia, I am also interested in hearing from anybody who has experienced and overcome Anhedonia long-term, and, or, with no waves or windows, as this is what I am experiencing and this is what is mostly worrisome to me. It is persistent and also persisted while administering the psychiatric medications, never prior. If you have any true recovery stories to share from long-term Anhedonia, they would be really encouraging right now. I am trying my best not to give up, though I am lacking any distractions and support.

 

I give everyone who is living with Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome my best, and I pray that we all find healing, peace, and strength.

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I am also interested in hearing from anybody who has experienced, or is experiencing, Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome following the administration of Loxalate and, or, Risperdal, with dosages that were quite similar to mine, Loxalate 10 mg, and Risperdal 2 mg.  

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I'm in the US and have only just begun my tapering. I don't have any suggestions or words of wisdom. I do know what it is like to feel alone, like the only person in the world dealing with something, and its a crappy feeling. I hope that someone is able to connect with you to share your story and experiences with. In the meantime, you are not alone and your pain and desperation have been heard. 

Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Sending a prayers your way- both of you. Someone much more knowledgeable than myself about these issues I'm sure will comment. Just know that people on this site really do care. 

 

Jan. 1994 Pamelor

2000 switched to Zoloft 

2011 Zoloft pooped out- Dr. switched me directly to Lexapro15mg -had a horrible 6mths

2013 upped Lexapro to 20 mgs-pooped out

June 2013 Dr. added 150 Wellbutrin to Lexapro.

July 2013 Switched back to Zoloft 100mgs.Was still taking Wellbutrin. Lots of anxiety from the Wellbutrin

July 2013 Started to wean Wellbutrin- off by Sept.

Oct. 2013 added 400 mgs of Neurotin to the Zoloft

Jan 2014 Tapered off of the Zoloft and onto Prozac 30 mgs. Also still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Feb 2014 Reduced Prozac to 13 mgs. Still taking 400 mgs Neurotin

Aug. 2014 Prozac 13 mgs. Finished with Neurotin. .7 Risperadol

 

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Totenkopf, many people do read posts but don't know what to say, words aren't always easy to find when

suffering with withdrawal. I read this a few days ago and just couldn't think of a single thing to say at the time.

I don't have experience with the same meds as you, but do have experience of anhedonia. I didn't know it had

a name but suffered it for years while taking effexor. For me it started to get better as I tapered and gradually

I started feeling again.I remember crying tears of joy because something had touched me and made me cry!

I was crying because I was crying! 

 It was so gradual I hardly noticed it was changing. Things will change for you too, time is a great healer. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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