Meimeiquest Posted December 5, 2013 Share Posted December 5, 2013 http://www.therapyeverything.com/2013/11/21/when-it-all-goes-to-hell/ 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
Ellen042 Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 Thanks Meimeiquest. I found one statement especially interesting: "In consolation, we feel faith, hope and love. We feel God’s presence near, and we feel connected. Always following a period of consolation, we move in to desolation where we feel the absence of faith, hope, and love. God feels far, and we feel less connected." I seem to feel more connected to God during the hard times than during the easier times. Yes, sometimes I get angry with Him, but I still feel His love and presence more when I'm in a storm than when I'm doing well. Guess this goes along with the verse stating "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Obviously I'm coming from a Christian perspective. I'm not sure what your faith is. Maybe that could explain the difference. Let me point out thou, Meimeiquest, that your words always show compassion, empathy, support, and love. I'm grateful you're here. Thank you. insomnia, anxiety, depression- since childhood lyme disease, dysautonomia, chiari malformation- dx 4/1997 nortriptyline- 75mg since childhood clonazepam- 3mg since 4/1997 trazodone-100mg since 4/2013, now tapering rotating antibiotics and antimalarials for lyme disease midodrine- 10mg for dysautonomia repeated skull surgeries for chiari malformation Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted December 26, 2013 Author Share Posted December 26, 2013 Yes, I'm a Christian...first "generic", now 25 years in the PCA (Presbyterian Church in America) by marriage. I guess that was our pre-nup, lol. For the first 3 years if someone asked me what church I was part of, what automatically fell out of my mouth was "my husband is Presbyterian." I would see suffering of all kinds as a natural part of Romans 8:20-25, but I know people who have put their hope in the Bible understand it many different ways. As far as consolation and desolation...I tend to be consoled in the crisis and desolate as the long-term ramifications unfold. Which pretty much fits with the concept of stages of grief....and the idea that all truth is God's truth. Thanks for all you add here, Ellen! 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
Ellen042 Posted December 26, 2013 Share Posted December 26, 2013 I like you, Meimeiquest. You've been such a support for me. You seem to respond to posts even before moderators get a chance, and you're invariably encouraging. Yes, I really thought you were a Christian without your saying a word, but was playing it safe so as not to step on anyone's toes. My long-term ramifications of abuse lasted 36 years, and the long-term ramifications of being sick have lasted 17 years so far. Guess we're sometimes just forced to turn to God even when life is upside down. Sometimes out of anger I don't turn to God, but when I do He's still right there to catch and to comfort me. I realize He has a unique relationship with each of us, and we can't compare apples to oranges... insomnia, anxiety, depression- since childhood lyme disease, dysautonomia, chiari malformation- dx 4/1997 nortriptyline- 75mg since childhood clonazepam- 3mg since 4/1997 trazodone-100mg since 4/2013, now tapering rotating antibiotics and antimalarials for lyme disease midodrine- 10mg for dysautonomia repeated skull surgeries for chiari malformation Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted December 26, 2013 Author Share Posted December 26, 2013 Yes, I don't have a life . I'm sort of a high-tech babysitter of a girl who needs very little attention. And I am having some major attentional problems. So I flit around SA and post too much and learn so much. Hopefully I will grow out of this and do exciting things like clean the house and build real friendships. 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
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