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manymoretodays

Thank you.  My adult son is doing pretty well.......pretty proud really that he does have some sustaining character despite some of his choices.

 

The mom I used to be..........we've talked quite a bit and I believe mine truly understands why I was so unavailable for so many years(medicated) and even some of my struggles now.  I think the best we can do is be the best we can with all our relations that are near and dear to us.........role models or something like that. 

 

Part of normal growing into adulthood in a healthy manner is questioning a lot and hopefully deciding to be the right kind of person.  I wish you peace as well MNgal1960.....relief from some of your inner torment.  That is so great the talk went better than expected.  I am finding things easier as well as I continue to release it to the Great One.  My own reactions and peaceful spirit are better.

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MNgal1960

Thank you for those inspirational thoughts, Many.

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btdt

We all wish we could be the mothers and people we use to be.. so much has changed... so much has been lost already without prayer I don't know where I would be and one thing I have noticed when I need it most I avoid it even this thread... I tend to pass it by even tho it is in my .. whatever that is called assigned topics or whatever... I can't think well at times and have been tested yet again in multiple areas.  I often feel I am barely keeping my head above water and my greatest fear is to crack and be taken away to be drugged... I swear I would not survive it .. and this plays on my mind when I hit a big bump.  Taunting me like some stinking thinking... even now after all this time I can get caught... by crap.  I may know it is crap now which helps some...still it is wearing... I wonder why it is when I need it most I avoid this thread and prayer... only sometimes.  Being able to be here at this tread today is a sign to me that I am about to turn around... be it a wave could waves go on for 8 + years... or whatever it is... I think it is about to ease as I am here. 

 

Dear father in the name of Jesus with the authority of the living blood of Jesus I thank you Lord for seeing over the damaged people on this thread... tho we may not be prefect in this world we are perfect in our souls to you and you grace us with strength and patients and love... and carry us when we can't do it ourselves.  You send us friends who understand and share our pain and disappointments who in understanding and sharing and educating lift us up so we can face more so we can trust you and carry on... for all your love and patients forgiveness and loyalty to us... we praise and thank you... stay with us Lord put your hand on this site and keep it going strong bring to us the ones you have prepared to lead us to guide us there is no greater scientist than you who created all things let the creator bring the minds and knowledge to us the healing to us be it in spiritual ways or human ways father... thank you for loving us just as we are with all our broken bits and one day we will know the truth and so will others as you bring the truth to the minds of men.

Thank you for loving us..the same as you always have.  Amen.

 

One of my fav bits... he loves us as we are and with some help from God we too can love us as we are... one day the truth of the withdrawal and all the lies will come to the eyes of all on this earth we will be understood. This will come to an end one day. 

peace

 

"Love is patient,v love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.w It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,x it is not easily angered,y it keeps no record of wrongs.z Love does not delight in evila but rejoices with the truth.b It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.c

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,d they will cease; where there are tongues,e they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in partf and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes,g what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhoodhbehind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;i then we shall see face to face.j Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.k

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.l But the greatest of these is love.m

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MNgal1960

Yes, btdt, that's my biggest fear, also. That I will lose control and be locked up and force-drugged in a county hospital (hell hole). It happened to someone I know. After my V crash, I am so afraid. God protect us all.

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btdt

So far I have managed to not be in hospital and I do not expect to I have done a lot alone and with he help of others who understand this affliction to some extent.  I will take my chances with the online community and some spiritual support people I have been lucky enough to find...  as I feel in my gut it is the safer way tho it may be painful lonely and trying.  Withdrawal offers us plenty of opportunity to exercise our faith. There are times as I said above where I feel removed spiritually I can't quite bring some parts of wd to my spiritual life the process separates me I think it has to do with cognitive symptoms I experience I can't think right and can't quite get beyond it for periods of time then it lifts and I can come back to myself.  I am going to try today to post a bit I wrote a long time ago about consciousness... I think only a person close to this problem could know it.  It may be part of this same issue that keeps me from thinking properly now.. though I don't know what to call it.  I still have it at times I do not know if this is part of the window and waves process as other wd symptoms have been... all I know is it comes and goes. 

 

We walk by faith not by sight... comes to mind.  

 

"The opposite of faith is not doubt or even unbelief, but rather, fear. "Whenever we are threatened by forces beyond our control, fear and faith compete for our allegiance." For this reason, no command is repeated more often in the Bible than the simple command, "Fear not." We should not be surprised that it is the storms of life that actually prove our faith. "Reading Mark helps one learn to trust in a Savior who does not deliver us from storms but through the storms. Christianity is not a refuge from the uncertainties and insecurities of the world." Instead, our faith is a refuge in the midst of the uncertainties and insecurities of the world." Rich Vincent

 

" Faith is not just a matter of ‘belief,’ it’s also a matter of conduct. Faith, like belief, is only an intellectual exercise until you have to ‘act’ on it, As with Shadrach, Meshak and Abednego before Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 3:16-18), or Jesus in Gethsemane (Matthew 26:39, Mark 14:36, Luke 22:42), faith acted in spite of fear.

Would it be accurate to say that Jesus had no faith because he showed fear? I don’t think so! “Even the demons believe, and shudder,” says James 2:19. One could say that the capacity to fear is a gift from God–a natural response to danger. Faith, “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1) empowers one to stay the course in spite of fear and storms."

 

I have known fear... and I have had to fight back against it.. a lot....

 

"2 Timothy 1:7;

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

There is nothing like wd or hallucinations to scare the crap out of a person.. a SAR to prozac gave me hallucinations as a prize it was my time in a severe adverse reaction that had me buy into a possible mental illness problem and convinced me to take drugs for 18 years... I know fear.. I know terror.  It has been a process to get and keep this under control... faith has helped me to do this. I am not saying I can do all this all the time I can't but I can pray and hope.. I can exercise my faith and wait. I can seek answers in the bible rather than a bottle of pills.. since this all helps me wait it has worked to get me to the end of a wave long I used it long before I knew there were such things as windows and waves...sooner or later the wave will end... I try to hold onto the conviction that it will end all of this will end. Even now at 8+ years I try to hold on.. I would hate to quit the day before the turning point or the end point.. things hoped for :)

 

The promise:

 

"Isaiah 41:10;

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 54:17 ESV / 230 helpful votes

No weapon that is fashioned against you shall succeed, and you shall confute every tongue that rises against you in judgment. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication from me, declares the Lord.”

 

 

 

more here:  http://www.openbible.info/topics/fear_and_anxiety

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manymoretodays

Thanks btdt.  The prayer and other thoughts were nice.

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MNgal1960

Thank you, btdt. It would be nice if you would continue to come and share with us. I struggle with the organic fear that comes from w/d and how that makes me feel disconnected from God and people both. I became ill shortly after moving and have not found a faith community here. Most of my family is out of state. Except for one friend who has stuck with me through this illness, I am very alone. Now that I am tapering my Seroquel, my brain is even more muddled. Makes it even harder to hang onto faith.

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btdt

The fear is part of this unfortunately we all get it and I will not try to tell you it is irrational as I know when your well enough to know it you will know it.. and when you get into another wave if you memory is like mine you will sometimes forget it the important thing is to know where you support is when the worst comes... for me that is prayer.  It always has been tho I do not have a church now I do have the benefit of prayer when the chips are down prayer and God are there for me. 

For some odd reason like I said I resist coming to this thread when the chips are down.. I isolate and if I show up at all here I research and fight... sometimes in a wave I want to fight it seems. I have no idea why this is must be a neuro emotion for me this is where I get a lot of validation but in waves I can become a destructive force here. I do not go out of my way to lie or deceive anybody I tell the truth of how I see it from wave eyes... and am not always as gentle or as understanding as I could be.  I think when I am like that I don't want to hear about turning the other cheek... cause often I am angry really really angry...if I sort it out enough to know I am in a wave again and I can't always do that... but if I do I am so angry at pharma and the people behind the circumstances that got me here... and keep putting other people here I just rage... I do.  It is very un- biblical...so that may be why in part I avoid this thread... Tho I know Jesus was mad and turned over tables of the money changers... I am not Jesus and find it difficult to be here.. maybe because I would have to give up my anger and forgive and I don't want to...yes I said it I do not want to give up being angry at the people who cause me and all those I love this pain... I want to stop them.  So in a wave I find it hard to be here... as I am not ready to stop raging and push myself to obedience and forgive... I can pray to have some help to forgive and can muddle away with it to some extent when I am not in a wave... but give me a wave and I want to end this crap and nothing else will do.  I tend to take that anger out on everything including myself and people here ... as I cannot get to those who really deserve to see it. 

 

So that is the whys of the situation... I can't always make myself come here as I am busy being human and having withdrawal neuroemotions... and acting badly hurting myself and other undeserving people.  One would think after all these years I would have a handle on this and the simple truth is I don't always... I wish I did...but I don't.  I find it hard this far out to blame it on wd... I truly do but there is nothing else like it in my life's experience... and just like all other waves it ends.  While it is here it is just like the other waves in how disarming it is to be in it tho the symptoms have changed... more huge memory/concentration problems pain is still there but it tends to be even more neurological.  

 

So I will be  here when I can... it is good to come out in the sun once in a while and feel more human... I feel it has been a long time coming and I don't truly believe I am done this wave yet it is more of a easing its way out.. I sure hope it is on its way out. 

peace all

God Bless 

 

Your not alone... I have had it too and others here have it.. it is common to man. 

 

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

 

Withdrawal is now common to us it is common... not everybody makes it out those who don't I hope are with God.  

Don't let this beat you call on your warriors Jesus ... Holly Spirit... God.. there will be comfort there... it is not magic but a miracle could happen I am waiting on mine and praying for all of us.

I pray in the name of Jesus with the living blood of Jesus in the authority of his name the Wholly Spirit comfort you and keep and guide you all through this withdrawal process... we will not stop praying we will not give up we will be vindicated!  Hold strong best you can when you have done all you can give it to Jesus.

Amen

 

peace

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btdt

prayer to overcome fear...I looked it up 

http://www.lords-prayer-words.com/topics/prayer_for_fear.html

 

Here is the one I use very unschooled of my own making for fear and all pestilence that affect humans once it is identified... and named. 

 

In the authority of the name of Jesus Christ with the living blood of Jesus Christ I command you fear to leave me now... at the mention of his name every knee shall bow. Amen 

 

Act as tho it is done cause it is.  No matter what you feel it is done deny any feeling that acts otherwise... command it to go... invite peace of Jesus to live in you... promote it.. do a relaxation video take a walk in the forest the beach see the beauty of the world created for you. There needs to be action... to follow the conviction to allow the word to work.  I am trusting in you Lord to see me thru this walk this relaxation video... to walk by faith not sight... as my eyes have been deceived and tricked by drugs.. I denounce them their power and their side effects.  I offer my body mind and spirit to the Lord for his service broken as they are to be renewed by his hand. I wait for the healing and answer to my prayers and while I wait I do good by those I find along the way... the best I can I serve others who have need... I seek to be free in the name of Jesus I will be one way or another sooner or later it will come to pass...Amen.

 

In part I have been doing this a long time it has come to my mind today that after 18 years of drug use including changes in drugs too fast tapers and cold turkeys... it may take me a long time to recover.  What if it takes the same amount of time to recover as it took to get this way what if it takes 18 years... I am trying to accept the thought that this may be as good as it gets and hope for more... can I deal with this for another 8-9 years or maybe forever... maybe some of us improve but don't actually heal to a point of being like we were when we came into this drugged world... maybe.  I am trying to get my head around it and so far I am feeling complete and utter rejection of the idea I can find no peace in it. To be continued...

 

peace all 

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MNgal1960

Thank you for these thoughts, btdt.

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btdt

I continue to try and forgive the people who know the problems with the drugs and didn't tell the truth... I try to forgive that I pray to be able to forgive that... I ask for increased faith and understanding ... how people feel they need to bow down to the increasingly demanding Academia heavy crap that does not work in real life in order to stay in their jobs ect ect ect.... I try but I have not mastered it yet I have not completely forgiven them the damage to me caused by their silence... 

 

I thought of faith... how it says faith without works is dead... I wrote new words to a song I heard yesterday....I thought of helping other people who have fallen into the same trap as I did with these drugs is that works... how about creating words to a song that tell the truth is that works... I don't know but here it is for you to see.. maybe it will be works... I am putting it out in faith... we will see...

 

"Zombie"
 

Another head hangs lowly
Child is quickly taken
And the violence caused such silence
Who are we forsaking

But you see it is me
It's not their family
In our heads, in our heads
Heads cells are changing
With their talk and their pills 
And their tricks to break your will 
In your head,
In your head cells are dying

In your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie
Hey, hey
What's in your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie
Hey, hey, hey, oh
Dou, dou, dou, dou
Dou, dou, dou, dou
Dou, dou, dou, dou
Dou, dou, dou, dou

Another mother's breakin'
Heart is left in the dark
Cure for your mental health 
Gonna tear you both apart

It's the same old theme since nineteen-eighties
In your head,
In your head cells are changing'
With their schemes and their trials
And their PHD smiles 
In your head, in your head they are lyin'

In your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie
Hey, hey
What's in your head, in your head
Zombie, zombie, zombie
Hey, hey, hey
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Hey, oh, ya, ya-a

 

James 2:14-26King James Version (KJV)

14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?

15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,

16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?

17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

18 Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

19 Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.

20 But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?

21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar?

22 Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect?

23 And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.

24 Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.

25 Likewise also was not Rahab the harlot justified by works, when she had received the messengers, and had sent them out another way?

26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

 

When your able step out in faith in any way you can no matter how small it will build your strength... I think. 

peace

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O2bhappy

I could really use some more prayers.  I am really in a dark place with withdrawal right now.  Thank you!!!

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MNgal1960

Lifting you up today, o2b. May you know that there is a light around the bend in the tunnel. May you see the light soon!

 

MN

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manymoretodays

Prayers for O2b........may all our spirits be lifted up and circumstances be made a bit easier..........and especially O2b's........if possible.  I'd like to give thanks as well, for another few days strung together with joy and peace and love.

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O2bhappy

MN -

 

Thank you for the prayers.  I greatly appreciate them.  If you could continue to pray for me I would greatly appreciate it.  I will also include you in my prayers.

 

 

manymoretodays-

 

Thank you for your prayers.  I would appreciate if you could continue to pray for me.  I will add you to my prayers as well. 

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MNgal1960

Thank you, O2B. Will continue to pray.

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Sheri755

 

For some reason this comes to mind I wanted to share it on SA but was not sure where to put it now I think this is the right place.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JE_YA7dSfWM

Love it!!! I just posted some videos on my thread that help me. :)

Hi! Hope you're having a blessed day! Would you mind providing a link to to your thread that has the videos? I loved the kitty dreaming video and it's mama putting her arms around it. Thank you ❤️

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Sheri755

So happy to find this. My hubby and I started praying together each night shortly after I entered WD. We also had issues between us. I just want to say that I am grateful if going through this horrific WD is what it took to bring us closer to each other and more importantly God, then it is worth it. I'm trusting Him during the storm.

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MNgal1960

That's wonderful, Sheri. You are so blessed. My husband left me when I became ill with an autoimmune disorder (the illness that eventually led to the poly-drugging). He couldn't cope with me being sick. I had 2 teenagers. My son grew up and did the same as his father. Moved out and cut off almost all contact and walked away from God and broke my heart last fall. There is no relief from this kind of pain. It has set me back in my recovery. I would appreciate prayers for him. I still have my daughter who is now a young woman and has moved back into our small rental and takes care of me (gets me awake and gets me to take my meds in the morning and sets them  up for me for the day, drives me when I can't drive, etc.). We recently started praying together. It has helped both of us.

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mFrustrated

Just found this thread and thankful I came across it today. I could use some extra prayers. You can read my story on my personal feed, but long story short...I've been struggling with a bad reaction to meds since March. I had a long window of doing well back in May, but then summer hit (I'm a teacher) and I've been traveling and home with my young kids and it's been rough. Feeling a lot like I'll never get better, but I know that God has not left me. Just would be so nice to have another window. I don't go back to work until the end of August and so I focus a lot on the intrusive thoughts I'm having and this makes me feel depressed and super irritable towards my kids. Thankfully I've only had some smal boughts of physical anxiety and when I can distract myself with soemthing, it helps. I would just love to eventually return to the way I was before this reaction. Before March, I only struggled with very minimal anxiety, now the intrusive thoughts are overwhelming and it really impacts my mood.

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wareagle82

mFrustrated,

 

Sending prayer and this scripture, from the Psalms 86:1-7.

 

"Hear me, Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy.  Guard my life, for I am faithful to you.  You are my God; save your servant who trusts you.  You are my God; have mercy on me, Lord, for I call to you all the day long.  Bring joy to your servant Lord, for I put my trust in you.  You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.  Hear my prayer, Lord; listen to my cry for mercy.  When I am in distress, I call to you, because you answer me."

 

Replace the intrusive thoughts with some prayer and scripture, and I pray you'll begin to feel healing.  You will heal!

 

God Bless You!

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mFrustrated

Thank you so much WarEagle! I seriously feel like a crazy person. Lol! I have never been suicidal or even thought of hurting myself or anyone. Intrusive thoughts that "I may not ever make it" are just stupid and I know are not only anxiety, but are lies from the enemy as well. I'm going to write out this Psalm on an index card to have when I need it. I've spent my kids' naptime praying and cleaning house with worship music blaring. Thankful for some good Bethel worship and a good mop today! :) I know I've said it before, but your feed and optimism amazes me. It's so easy to be negative on these wave days.

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wareagle82

Great idea to listen to worship and praise music!  That always changes my mood and I hope it helps yours too!!

 

Don't believe those lies that are in your head.  You are loved and held in the arms of Jesus, no matter what the Evil one says. 

 

I have rough days too but more good than bad, thank God.  I am praying for you right now! 

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Sheri755

That's wonderful, Sheri. You are so blessed. My husband left me when I became ill with an autoimmune disorder (the illness that eventually led to the poly-drugging). He couldn't cope with me being sick. I had 2 teenagers. My son grew up and did the same as his father. Moved out and cut off almost all contact and walked away from God and broke my heart last fall. There is no relief from this kind of pain. It has set me back in my recovery. I would appreciate prayers for him. I still have my daughter who is now a young woman and has moved back into our small rental and takes care of me (gets me awake and gets me to take my meds in the morning and sets them  up for me for the day, drives me when I can't drive, etc.). We recently started praying together. It has helped both of us.

I'm so very sorry that your husband left because of your illness. I too have an auto immune disorder, lichen sclerosis. I praise God that he is soo understanding! I have two grown sons that I rarely hear from. One is an alcoholic.

 

I will definitely pray for you and your son. Our children never stop being our children no matter how old they are.

 

What a blessing that you have such a caring daughter. There is always something to be grateful for. :-)

 

In His Love

Sheri

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megb

Didn't know about this prayer chain!!! LOVE IT!! God kept me from ending my life in 2012 (due to horrendous withdrawal) and I am forever grateful. I want to pray for all of you! Will be checking in now and again for requests and such - wonderful to find this Forum :) 

 

So lovely to meet all of you! I will read through as much as I can of this thread. 

 

love, Meg

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Sheri755

Didn't know about this prayer chain!!! LOVE IT!! God kept me from ending my life in 2012 (due to horrendous withdrawal) and I am forever grateful. I want to pray for all of you! Will be checking in now and again for requests and such - wonderful to find this Forum :) 

 

So lovely to meet all of you! I will read through as much as I can of this thread. 

 

love, Meg

Meg, I also just discovered this thread and am thrilled to find it.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jer. 29:11NIV

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geminigirl

Dear God. Please hear me. My friends at survivingantidepressants.org and I have been suffering for many months and even years either from this poisonous drug or withdrawal. We need help God. We are asking you to please heal our brains and bodies so that we can be our full selves, healthy and happy. Please God. None of us deserve this pain and torture that we have been through for so long. We are asking you with all of our hopeful hearts to please heal us. If you grant us this wish, we will never abandon you. We will never abandon our inner selves, we will never abandon the truth, and thus when another doctor or psychiatrist or ignorant person who is out of touch with God tries to offer us something, we will always ask you for permission first. When many of us were offered these poisons, we did not listen to our hearts, to the inner wisdom. Forgive us for this God. We are only human and each day we learn. We are imperfect just as you made us.


 


I know God you love us. You want us to heal and get better, you want us to realize ourselves as part of you.


 


I know you are here God. Even though I don't see you or hear you. I know you are here. You have been with me since the day I was born, abandoned and alone, your love was always here. I saw you in every tree, every flower, every smile, every old man's face. I heard you in music, I saw you in the skies, I saw you in the desert, in that little kitten, in my grandma's face. I did not know who you were at that time, but now I know. That inner child in me, that spirit, that eternal and profound love, it was you God. You were the one that showed me love.


 


I love you so much God. Please heal my friends here at survivingantidepressants. I love them too and want them to get better, to experience joy and sadness once again, to be fully alive. I want you to tell them God, that they are lovable, they are worthy and that they deserve a life free from suffering.


 


   I love you God.


 


Yana


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mFrustrated

Just posted this on my own feed...could use some prayers today. Thanks everyone!

 

Anxiety is through the roof today and has been the past few days. Just finished an antibiotic, Keflex, for an infection under my arm. Wondering if it was the cause of my increased physical and mental symptoms. I also doubled my probiotic intake bc I was on the antibiotic. I've read so many feeds this week on here with people still really bad off 2 years after meds. I'm not feeling very hopeful today. Thankful for Farout, as she is the only encouragement I've received and seems to be the only story I've read on here of someone who has recovered. Don't understand how I was feeling so much better in May and all of the sudden June and July were horrible...August doesn't seem to be any better. When will I experience a positive window again? ????

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wareagle82

Hi M

 

Yes it is a mystery why the brain seems on the mend and then goes kinda wonky again.  I will send up prayers for you right now!!  You will definitely get better. 

 

Read a scripture or two--Philippians 4:13 is a favorite! 

 

Keflex may have had an impact; I think I read somewhere that it can affect the CNS. 

 

I got scolded by a moderator for my positive Christian views on a different thread, so I am happy to be here where I think we are safe to talk about God. 

 

I have shaken the "dust off my feet" of that mod. 

 

God bless you!

 

Steve

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mFrustrated

Thanks Steve. It's my faith that's getting me through. I can only take things minute by minute right now. I'm a teacher and I'm home with my 2 small kids this summer. Being home and not working, does not help my brain when I get so focused on intrusive thoughts. This morning it was terrible physical and mental anxiety. My husband almost came home from work to help me. I was able to drink some chamomile tea, take a magnesium bath, read my bible and pray my face off while the kids napped. God calmed me down and has given me what I need to make it through until my husband gets home and can help me. I am planning to stop my morning cup of coffee for right now and back off of the probiotics (with vitamin d3) for a few days. Who knows why I've gone backwards, I just pray I can make some progress soon. I know God is holding me through this and won't give up on me, I'm just so tired and want some relief.

 

 

Don't feel bad about talking about God. I'm sorry you were scolded for talking about your faith.

 

I appreciate your reply and I hope you are doing well!

 

M

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manymoretodays

mfrustrated,

 

Yes you will.......get another positive window.  I also did antibiotics last fall, late fall.  A Z-pack.  I think it did contribute to a bit of a setback for me.

 

G-d......... or Casper......my higher power now(basically one and the same) have been with me forever really.  Can you tell I do AA???  LOL, well, it's helping me a ton right now........so I hope that doesn't rub anyone the wrong way.  I am learning so much there.  And so thankful for all I learn here at SA as well........and the help and support from so many.

 

I will pray for you and your young family.  I feel pretty well most of the time now.

 

Thanks for the verse, wareagle82.  I generally like the comforting parts of the Bible at this time.......I have to steer clear of some interpetations of it(Bible) and some of the downright scary(to me) religious zealots and bodies of worship.  Philippians 4 is good.......in my Bible it is titled "Thinking on Pure and Lovely Things".

 

I'll take some prayers as well........just for my continued healing, my families health and well being..........good will and tidings to ALL people..........that kind of thing.....

 

Thanks.

 

mmt

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wareagle82

I love contemporary Christian music, and these lyrics speak to all of us who've felt like we were damaged goods:

Mended

How many times can one heart break?
It was never supposed to be this way
Look in the mirror, but you find someone you never thought you'd be

Oh, but I can still recognize
The one I love in your tear stained eyes
I know you might not see him now, so lift your eyes to me

 

When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
When you see too far gone
I see one step away from home

When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended

 

You see your worst mistake
But I see the price I paid
There's nothing you could ever do, to lose what grace has won

So hold on, it's not the end
No, this is where love's work begins


I'm making all things new
And I will make a miracle of you

 

When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
When you see too far gone
I see one step away from home

When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended

 

I see my child, my beloved
The new creation you're becoming
You see the scars from when you fell
But I see the stories they will tell

You see worthless, I see priceless
You see pain, but I see a purpose
You see unworthy, undeserving
But I see you through eyes of mercy

 

When you see broken beyond repair
I see healing beyond belief
You're not too far gone
You're one step away from home

 

When you see nothing but damaged goods
I see something good in the making
I'm not finished yet, no
When you see wounded, I see mended

Ooh, I see mended
Woah, oh I see mended
I'm not finished yet
When you see wounded, I see mended

 

Songwriters: MATTHEW WEST
© ATLAS MUSIC PUBLISHING
For non-commercial use only.

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luv2knit

Thank you for that lyric, wareagle82. I am from Alabama as well, but I seldom post on this forum any more. I would appreciate the prayers too, if anyone is so inclined. I'm 2 years (24.5 months) off Zoloft now, and still suffering greatly--still with 24/7 akathisia, although the intensity is perhaps 25% less than it was in the beginning. Praying for all of you as well.

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wareagle82

Luv,

 

I am praying for you right now.  I can only offer prayer and the positive thought that if you are 25% less in w/d intensity today, next year you'll be even better!!  Mending is happening even though I know it isn't at the pace each of us would like!!  You will get better!

 

I miss Alabama, having just moved to SC a year ago.  God has me where I am supposed to be, so I am satisfied.

 

God Bless You!!

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Morgane

I cried and had shivers all over my body when I heard the following song. 

 

 

Mandy Moore - Only Hope.

There's a song that's inside, in my soul
It's the one that ive tried, to write over and over again,
I'm awake in the infinite cold, but you sing to me over and over and over again,

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray,
To be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now, your my only hope

Sing to me, the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing, and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams, are so far
Sing to me of the plans, that you have for me over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now, your my only hope

I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands, and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now, your my only hope

And the following song has been a beacon along the way:

 

Hanson - I Will Come to You

When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk beside you
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you

Sometimes when all your dreams may have seen better days
And you don't know how or why, but you've lost your way
Have no fear when your tears are fallin'
I will hear your spirit callin'
And I swear I'll be there come what may

When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk beside you
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
I will come to you

'Cause even if we can't be together
We'll be friends now and forever
And I swear that I'll be there come what may
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you

We all need somebody we can turn to
Someone who'll always understand
So if you feel that your soul is dyin'
And you need the strength to keep tryin'
I'll reach out and take your hand
I'll reach out and take your hand

Oh, I will come to you
When you have no light to guide you
And no one to walk to walk beside you
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
When the night is dark and stormy
You won't have to reach out for me
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you
I will come to you
Oh, I will come to you

If they touch your heart, just listen to them a million times, let come whatever may and let them uplift you.  

 

 

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