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Razzle

How To Keep Going

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Razzle

I have been in this 52 months and 10 months post AD with absolutely no improvements. Every few weeks I have a tiny window of a few hours.

 

My nervous system is so bad I can't stand to talk with my wife or anyone else unless it is about this.Cant read, watch TV, go out (just being in public is too stimulating) cook (which I love to do), sleep more than 3 hours so I pace, walk, ride my bike, cry and go insane. The physical and emotional pain is crippling.

 

How do you hold on when it looks like there is no hope - nothing changes and I did so little to be in this mess.

 

Thanks for reading

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Claudius

I am really sorry to read you are having such bad symptoms Razzle! I am not as far as you yet, now at 44 months and in my case some symptoms are better. I can drive, read, talk, socialize but even in early WD when I felt like a complete wreck I could do these things and people somtimes did not even notice I was feeling so awfully terrible.

But although I am feeling slightly better now, it is still a hell of a ride. And your posts scares me too, I really REALLY want to believe the opinions of the moderatros here that everybody finally heals but 52 months, 4.5 years, is really an enormous time.

 

Because I am still unable to work due to hypersesnsitivity and severe concentration/cognitive issues, sometimes I think about reinstating something and hope for relief. Bit at the saome time I know that this is still far from my pre-med condition and going back tom something now will be equal to lifetime addiction... not to mention the risk of side effects and poopout.

So no magic answers unfortunately. Nobody of us deserved this or is to blame to get into this mess. We can only hope for recovery and inbetween take it day by day. I know that symptoms can evolve and eventually diminish, also after big time. I had severe headaches during the first 2.5-3 years and they are pretty much gone now.

Wish you all the best and hang on.

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stan

hi Razzle

 

52 months is enormous, try to wait more, there is no choice, i am also very damaged but only 26 months, the half of you

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Razzle

Claudius

 

Please don’t use my time line for your healing potential. My history is very unusual.

 

I was on benzos 22 years ago and was paradoxical to them - I was literally being poisoned with every dose. Long story but I got off at 4 weeks and had near seizures and was put back on - then every time I cut any I nearly had another seizure. I was sick on them and took two years to get off.

 

I recovered mostly by 24 months and had years of being symptom free. Then in 2004 it all came back full force - I had never taken so much as a aspirin. In the UK they are seeing this happening and Ashton reports it in her last benzo manual update. I recovered in 6 month then it came back worse than ever in 2007 - I had no recovery and was not sleeping but ever third night so in 2010 I took the tiny doses of the AD - it sent my nervous system into places I could not imagine.

 

I am 10 month off the AD, almost 52 months in this breakdown and still critically ill...make that insane!!!

 

I am only one of 4 people I know this happened to - it is extremely rare!!

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squirrel

I have done 6 years of this nightmare and I really don't know how I have survived it. i always try and think tomorrow is a new day and maybe it will be gone. simple I know , like the carrot and donkey thing but was all i had.

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Razzle

The UK has support lines you can call for psyche drug support - a man I used to talk to often that was a counselor was in total hell until 7 years then it took a huge turn and within 6 months he felt normal.

 

When I had my return to symptomsin 2004 I was near insane - then over a two week period it cleared and I was back to work - we just can not predict the brain and since it is a threshold condition it can change rapidly

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